Ina Disguise's Blog: New blog, page 6

How did I survive Bawbag?

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while but was unsure what I wanted to say exactly, since the nature of my work is ambiguous I update the same post every now and again to establish what I am all about.

How did I end up ridiculously close friends with a person described as a ‘very bad man’ by the Glasgow police despite not talking to him for three out of the three and a half years I knew him and who was a very right wing Muslim from a different continent that hated women?

OK so for the benefit of his recent ex girlfriends, both of whom are probably by now aware they have had a lucky escape, the secret of surviving Bawbag without hating him was not sleeping with him in the first place and providing genuine affection without anything that could be interpreted as a string.

Bawbag had this thing, common with disordered people, where he wanted you to want him, but was not going to give away anything that suggested he was interested in you.  Since I have been used to such people from birth, I am very good at shorting this particular circuit and completely ignoring any indication of sexual tension.  So this is the first principle of getting to know difficult men.  You don’t sleep with them and you let them talk.  Being a good listener is priceless.Similar to the case of Little Shiva, the relationship could be summed up in one flash of connection.  In the case of Little Shiva, we only ever had one conversation, and it was sufficient to have me making an epic throne for him and him checking the website frequently for the last five years or so, so my flashes of connection appear to be fairly intense.Also, having been on the receiving end of behaviour of the worst siblings you can imagine, I am pretty thick skinned but have very clear boundaries, so when he started kicking at them it was very easy to say no to him.  Your closest friends  can be people you have no intention of speaking to as a result.  Particularly the last girlfriend was very confused by this. She had a very similar outlook to the problem ex in that she was constantly looking for an edge she could gain over you to get the required sexual attention, which is a dangerous mistake a certain type of woman always makes.  Bawbag likes to use this against you, and he was well aware that I am the opposite of this.  If you want to be with me, you will be with me, if you don’t, that is fine too.  I have no issues at all about incompatibility. My primary interest is quality of emotional connection, which makes life a lot simpler. Sex is messy and disturbing, so it takes a major second place to the quality of your relationship.Bawbag was very controlling, and I responded to this by being just as controlling in response.  Every point raised was played back to him, so he was aware he was not going to easily stomp all over me.  He didn’t want to either, which from observation was new to him.  I have never witnessed such an epic internal fight as I saw with Bawbag in relation to me.  He knew perfectly well I was very fond of him, but absolutely not interested in taking any shit.Bawbag is dumb about some things because of his disorder, but very smart about others.  If anything, he should consider a career as a pick up artist, because he is exceptionally good at intertwining with you emotionally.  I remarked upon this when chatting to the police at one point.  I do realise this is part of an elaborate con trick, but in order to pull it off, you have to have some emotions in the first place.  In terms of ability to connect with you, I have never met anyone who can touch him for sheer speed.Bawbag was savvy enough not to tell me very much at all about his ‘other’ career.  I deduced what I do know about him from what I saw rather than what he said.I was the dominant force in the relationship.  This is because of previous abuse.  I am the way I am because of the way I have been treated.  I know I am kind and laid back, but I don’t know about you, so I will always be like this. The person I am interested in at the moment, who probably isn’t interested in me but is always very pleasant, is also very kind and laid back and I do not know how that would work, so he is unlikely to be glorified in artwork any time soon.

To keep this brief, I will conclude that nobody is your inferior when it comes to matters of the heart, and out of the three women I am talking about in this post I ended up on top because I am genuine, not interested in who is superior, financially or otherwise and not at all scared of being alone.  If I have a deep love affair, it is often not sexual, probably the most intense I have ever been about anyone was Wolfe, and as soon as I knew how I felt I stopped watching or communicating with him directly because for one thing he was famous and I felt a bit stupid, and for another as it turned out he was married to at least two people and I have never been at all interested in getting involved with that.  A third issue would obviously be living on a different continent, but that makes absolutely no difference to how you feel.

Love is described by Plato as a lack, so if you are in love and don’t want to be, it is often a case of analysing it to death.  You decide what it is about the person that you feel you don’t have and want from them, and you seek to develop it, which is why Ina exists for Wolfe rather than anyone else, particularly.  I am very guilty of the principle that an artist never feels they are good enough, so I have not been particularly assertive about advertising.  Wolfe would spit on this, so it is something I have to work on, really.

Anyway, since Bawbag is out and about gathering things from various places and will probably have someone read this to him, yes I remain deeply fond of him and I remain completely disinterested in his pish.  Sadly, I doubt he is going to grow out of it but I hope he is OK and not hurting people.  It doesn’t help.

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Malta is nice this time of year

I was there a few years ago just around Christmas.

Oddly enough, some huge financial crim offered me a job there as my mother was dying. Exceptionally odd.

Thankfully, I realised what the job was and in any case was not going anywhere at that time.

Anyway, yeah I will prob return there at some point.

Ina

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Looks Like He is in Retirement

So it may or may not be Rishi.

Rishi does not read the blog, unfortunately, so I won’t bother too much talking about tories for the forseeable future.

Boris was a frequent visitor from 2016 to about 2020, then the visits tailed off a bit.  I had never previously heard of Cliveden and was unaware of government dens of iniquity having their own servers.

I doubt they will select Rishi, but whatever.

Anyway, the aim was, as I said, lifetime access to Chequers, an extra 115k a year of taxpayers money and free security, so he doesn’t actually need to run again.  I was surprised he even bothered cutting the holiday short.

Very bored at the moment, but making a millinery inspired coat.

Bawbag’s shop has been done out by the new tenant, they threw what was left of the oil can out this weekend, which was rather sad. Expensive tiles sitting out awaiting the bins.

Another sad end to a sad story. Poor Bawbag.

Ina

 

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Current Problems with Conservatism (yo Boris, check dis out)

OK so I havent bothered writing the BJ story as it isn’t finished yet and I have been rather busy recovering from long term grief issues.

Plus, I did, behind the scenes, give him an opportunity to help himself and me and he failed to take it.  This was via Dominic Cummings, and since he was rather a frenemy as it turned out, the message probably did not get through.

Anyway this post is about the current issues with the financial individuals and members of the Conservative Party currently trying valiantly to ruin your life.

In the course of my current employment, I am fortunate enough to get to talk to the brighter section of the population that actually understand what I’m saying, as opposed to people like my sisters who actively block whatever anyone more intelligent than them have to say. I cannot tell you how many of these people exist, and how much pleasure they seem to take in actually causing the death of other people.  No idea why that would make you feel good, but hey ho. Disordered and generally stupid people are everywhere. It is a source of deep shame that I would be related to some of them.

Anyway, let us start with the crashing of the economy and flooring of the pound.  This is something that the UK does periodically and in and of itself, is nothing to fear.  It will delay your plans for retirement for a year or two if you are wise, but recovery is inevitable due to the prediliction of the very same individuals who caused it wanting to make even more money at your expense and sell various businesses to Americans, who are also benefitting from the low pound. Foresighted American companies such as not for profit hospitals have been building in England for quite a while now, so you can imagine what a low pound means.

Those who have been reading the blog since 2016 or so will know I was very keen to see the pound lowered in value. This is very simple economics, although economists who specialise in the brakes, headlights or exhaust of the car, so to speak, may not see it.  The much neglected ‘cannon fodder’ proportion of the population that tories traditionally ignore will benefit from it in terms of increased work opportunities, now also available remotely as well as in manufacturing. It was high time for a fertilisation of the roots of the British economy, and it will be good to see some results when the neglected underclass finally secure an income as a result of an improvement in exports.

The problem is that there are no real thinkers in the Conservative party at the moment, so they are very bad at either reacting to or explaining what they are doing.  Jeremy Hunt as chancellor is a slightly better option than a guy that would sit and laugh during the Queen’s funeral whilst shafting you between snorts, however this is not good news for the English NHS.

From the perspective of the history of Scottish Conservatism, my own grandmother was an ardent devotee of Conservatism, my previous warnings to Boris of being a bit of a Churchill fanboi still hold true.  Scottish Conservatism historically differs from English Conservatism, whilst they cling to the union as if it is good for them, their current ideas seem to be as long as they cling to it, they are in the ‘might is right’ sector of society and they will hang on to the benefits they got whilst biting and scratching their way over everyone else to pay their boring mortgages.  The sooner we see the death of the Conservative Protestant white golfers of society, the sooner we will see some actual equality and diversity.  Not sure anyone is genuinely interested in actually doing that however, as probably over a hundred of the many companies I have scrutinised still favour the useless male over the committed but diverse worker.

So for the benefit of Boris, whom I must send a smooch for the ‘taking the oil from under drink sodden Scottish noses’ speech, here are the aspects of the history of Scottish Conservatism that you would benefit from, and here are the elements of this you can use to stick an ice pick into your poitical decline.  You remain God’s Gift to the independence movement, although Truss is also proving to be extremely helpful via lack of intellectual rigour and sheer incompetence.

Scottish Conservatism, for actual thinkers, was the Victorian idea of charity being a personal responsibility rather than ‘fuck the poor’.  My Victorian Scottish grandmother was a single parent with two children for much of her life, and still managed to buy her own house and feed the neighbours who were ‘poor’ in comparison with a woman who used to stay up all night fulfilling creative projects to pay for the kids.Scottish Conservatism was a statement relating to colonialism.  Devotees were pro military, pro royalty rather than pro English and anti Scottish, as the dumb voters seem to think they have to be now.  I cannot tell you how many Scottish tories are stupid enough to tell me they are no longer Scottish in the course of research. This is something the SNP and the indy supporters interested enough to actually debate with No voters could address if interested in swinging the polls rather than make stupid insulting statements about irrelevant topics.I have to say, I have no idea what Eton and Oxford are teaching people, but it seems to be of remarkably poor quality given the last few Conservative PMs.  Cameron and Gideon evidently failed ‘the Wall game.’  Boris, adept at this game, was a bit of an improvement, but too many holidays and too many poor relationship decisions ruined his tenure, never mind the determination to emulate a hated Prime Minister like Churchill with nothing to justify it.  (I could have helped you, you should have emailed, but after losing my best friend to yet more medical failures I was not in a state to bother pursuing it. I’ve had plenty male friends, you need to stop thinking with your lower abdomen)I am not sure why nobody thinks to keep the public informed about how the British economy actually works, but if a barnstorming speech could be written, the deliverer would help the situation enormously, so I would suggest that should be done ASAP if you want to spare your neck in England.  That is, of course, if you can see the benefit of doing this rather than taking yet more holidays and screwing up your current marriage.

I realise, of course, that lifetime access to Chequers and a permanent income/security detail has now been secured, so Boris is effectively in retirement.  That is what this was really all about in terms of personal benefit.

OK so to translate for the rest of my readers, the British economic machine is cyclical, every so often we floor it to encourage the roots and make the country more competitive.  This is led by a few individuals with a great deal of money who secure vast fortunes by doing it.  I used to joke that the entire unemployed population exist to benefit five hedge fund managers in London, and this is not at all far off the mark.  Every few decades we floor it and restart the engine, a bit like rebooting a computer.  This makes us highly desirable in terms of investment, and keeps a very small country very rich when the reboot is complete.

Do not panic about things like pension values, this is reflective of low unit prices in managed funds and just means you should use any available funds to snap up some more units and keep working if you can for the next couple of years.  I laughed when I was told the Bank of England was buying up gilts to protect pension values, that is not the idea, they are buying up gilts because, if you track the historical performance of gilts, this will make them very very wealthy at a later date.

Bottom line – here is what your current thinking and potential barnstorming speech should contain:

A flooring of pound value and restart of the economy is normal and is done as part of an economic process. Whether any of the people doing it have any knowledge of history or not, is another matter, what we do know is that it has been done many times before and will continue to be done from time to time, so panicking about it is not helpful to you.The sector of the population at the lower end, the factory workers, the exporters, the manufacturers, inventors and creatives who really make growth happen will all benefit from a low pound as it makes us more attractive to look at in terms of investment or simply purchases.Thinkers ought to be encouraged in government, not rejected as not politically expedient.  This episode has highlighted to me, in particular, that nobody is interested in getting the job right, they are just interested in grabbing something for themselves.Remote work from other countries is a good alternative to exporting, as this is also lucrative currently.  There are many opportunities to do this, especially when the pound is low as it is more cost effective to look at the UK for a workforce.Scottish Conservatives do not think creatively, do not want to see change and are likely to be pro military, pro charity and pro Royalty.  If anyone wants to present a right wing pro independence alternative to them politically, this is the line they should take.The multiplier works from the bottom sector of the economy, not the top.  If you have little money, you are forced to spend it, as opposed to sending it offshore, so if anyone genuinely wanted to see the British economy grow, they would focus on people suffering at the lowest income bracket, since their spending would further fertilise the roots rather than a mid sector squandering of investment via incompetent business advice quangos such as the ones that employ non entrepreneurs like my brother to give advice to people willing to risk their meagre savings on starting a business with grants and loans that they do not necessarily even need. Education is way more important than men in suits admiring each other’s willingness to dump their mothers into care homes and lining someone else’s pocket whilst they go on yet another unnecessary holiday.Quell the panic in the investments and wealth market, encourage bottom feeders prospects and morale, invest wisely in things like remote work sourcing and export led business.  This is how the economy actually works long term. Don’t ask stupid questions, just do it.  That is how to rescue England.

In the meantime, we in Scotland would like to govern ourselves, and it is not the place of England to be milking the last country stupid enough to be paying to be in the union whilst insulting us.

And that is the end of my ‘How to be a better Tory, by a thinker that isn’t’ rant.  Good luck, and stop listening to stupid people. They delight in causing suffering.

OK?

 

Much affection,

Thanks,

 

Ina

 

 

 

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Five years

And the nasty family still don’t understand that my life is none of their business.

Go and spend the money you earned whilst I took care of your parents and this house on whatever garbage you spend your money on.

In at least two cases I recommend you make that counselling for your obvious mental health issues. You would have lost everything because of your own spite.

None of your business what I do, given what I had to tolerate for several decades.

By the way, you each owe me several thousand pounds in repairs, so I wouldn’t go noising me up if I was you.

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So, hilariously I had two interviews…..

The first one was for another fake hedge fund research company.  These seem to be springing up at quite a rate of knots at the moment.

I had previously obtained a position with a company who gave me a lovely looking contract, only for the one for signing to be entirely different.

5k a month sounds good doesn’t it? 3k basic plus bonus?

The reality was a hard head hunting job finding experts willing to talk for what to them would be the miniscule fee of 2k for an hour for the princely sum of commission for me of only £80.  This would require two a day to be obtained to be a worthwhile endeavour, and since I have done a similar job, globally for 13 an hour in the past and know how difficult it was, I can tell you you would not get your 2 a day very often, so I declined. Let the poor/rich graduates of London put this on their CV.  I cannot afford it. I get 30 an hour for research work, for good reason. I do four times the work for three and a half times the pay, which is at last somewhat reasonable. I am not, unfortunately full time doing this, open to offers if anyone needs someone with a spectacular success rate of engaging people on the phone.

Anyway, this one was offering about 30-50k, sounded promising, the interview went unusually well, although the company is new and wanted me to take it on part time.  As I am currently full time and unusually happy I was wary unless this offered hours in the USA which I could do alongside it.  In this line of work, this is perfectly reasonable but the dude would not commit. As I am well used to the fake interview process now, I was not inclined to rush into it.

Next thing I know, I am getting requests for me to review his company.  So this is why the interview went well.  He isn’t offering a job at all.  He is getting reviews for his new equity research company.  I have not reviewed it, instead I sent him an email requesting his proposed part time hours. He did not reply, and I got a reminder to review his company this morning

The next one was a company who sell drama based courses on the topic of diversity.  Two gay men interviewed me for this one.  I wrote an 8 minute speech for a ten minute presentation, unfortunately, and they were not the most flexible of people.  They announced that they would be timing me before I delivered.  As sales is not really my thing, I did not expect to get this interview in the first place, so I was not harbouring high hopes.

When the managerial one asked me about my experience of diversity his face formed this disapproving insincere mask.  I explained that one major bank, whose exams i have been acing for several decades, had cocked up three interviews with me on different grounds each time, to the point that I eventually told them to ‘fuck off.’

“We’re all mothers here.” was the most insulting one, after asking me extensive questions about my writing and art.

I get this a lot from fintech companies, they are astonished that anyone has a life outside their dry, dry job.  It makes you clam up, essentially, because you are regarded as too colourful.

Anyway, having explained this and the experience of walking in and seeing the people these companies hire instead – often spotty 15 year old golfers who resemble my dishonest, corrupt and lazy brother, I established that yes, I do have quite a bit experience of being discriminated against.

What I should probably have said was “well, at one point my ex was a Nazi Ukrainian, my best friend was a male, fascist criminal North African Muslim with ASPD and I was in love with a Hindu that hates me and cost me my job for sport, is that diverse enough?”

Which is perfectly true, but I imagine their little heads would pop off.

Now I have good reason to detest ‘woke’ people as much as I detest people who refer to them as ‘snowflakes.’  There is as much latent and overt racism on both sides, but do I particularly want to spend my time selling to them? Probably not.

He offered me some feedback after the interview.  I declined.

Apart from that, nearly bought a dog this week, on the grounds that men are pointless and I would like to go out without worrying now and again, but the house and cats come first, so not quite at the peak of achievement that would be spending two hours a day walking yet. Not feeling very motivated generally as a result of timewasting pish like this.

That’s how things are going.

Ina

 

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Little Shiva Update

Hello to my apparent new fan in London.

Spent the last 24 hours moving Little Shiva to the next stage in preparation for the next few layers of the shell.

The big sticking point has been caused by the problem of turning the egg inside out, but I think I have managed to solve it, another few layers should indicate whether this has been a success. I suspect the planned window panes would actually make Little Shiva less comfortable so I am rethinking those.

It is amazing how often large scale structural issues can be solved by indcreasing the horizontal tension on the sewing.  Sometimes your knowledge of stitch engineering can be as strong as adding inert weight.

Haven’t been doing much other than stitching and sculpting, hoping to see some real results soon.  I am digging my heels in a bit about winding this up as a project.  I don’t think trauma is particularly good for achievement as you spend a lot of time cringing and second guessing yourself.

Working on some new clothing ideas, Ina is getting a revamp as an avatar. I think it is now safe for me to be a bit more feminine than it used to be, so I am looking forward to messing around with my image a bit now there is nobody around to shame me out of it. It is most unfortunate that my ghastly family, Little Shiva and Bawbag chose shame as a weapon as it means I have to put some distance in.

It has been nearly five years since my mother died.  I don’t need to listen to quite as much intense music now and value silence a bit more.  It was not an easy thing to have happen to you and so many unforgiveable things were done that I was intensely upset for a very long time. Not good for your health.

Chewing over the film project that will follow this collection.  I don’t particularly want to create a course or do ‘how to’ type videos, so I have spent a lot of time listening to youtubers whilst working to evaluate what will work for Ina.

I have a number of non art related ideas and some entertainment planned.

Still a ton of work to do.  Little Shiva is very much key to this collection, so it has to be right.

Ina

 

 

 

 

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Hello.

Nice to hear from you, glad you’re OK.

Ina

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Muslims following Andrew Tate

So last night I was listening to someone very serious about combatting the menace of Andrew Tate.

I have seen thousands of Andrew Tates over the years, inevitably they eventually meet some woman that overpowers them, whether that is intellectually, physically or some other way and they STFU.

Misogynists are pretty easy to dominate.  I know because it was so easy to get to the top of a career path that was full of them.

In the course of listening to her I found a lot of presumably not very serious Muslims who are actually taking him seriously.

Why they would take Andrew Tate seriously and not Roosh V, who is a watered down version of him, presumably relates to money, however as someone with a lot of male Muslim acquaintances I am forced to point out that this is illustrates a major issue with standards within Islam generally.

If the followers of Mohammed are so easily distracted that they choose to follow a man who openly admits to violence against women and human trafficking, they aren’t very good representatives of Islam.

This is down to Imams at local level.  If theological education were improved, they would not find anything to resonate with with Andrew Tate.  There is absolutely no excuse for this.

Any serious Muslim would tell you that Andrew Tate is an infidel of the worst kind, out to exploit and distract true believers. Any Muslim following Andrew Tate and listening to what he says, is therefore, not to be taken at all seriously.  Clearly the subjugation of women and acquisition of money is more important to them than faith.

Why this is not being addressed within the faith or noticed by those choosing to discuss him I do not know.  You would have to ask them.

It certainly makes an outsider think that the position of Islam against women is no longer ambiguous, for a start.

I don’t see the appeal, to be honest, in listening to an immature man rant about his limited knowledge of the world, but I am not an immature male so I am not in the market for his work.  He is making a few million per month out of these guys, which makes his bragging more of a self fulfilling prophecy.  Nice work for an aging kickboxer.

Anyway, if you are one of the people that are daft enough to get involved with or even feel the need to discuss Andrew Tate as anything other than a dilettante fleecing young men for money, think about what you are saying about your faith.  I found numerous articles linking Andrew Tate to Islam last night, and it ain’t pretty.  It certainly won’t encourage any women to revert.

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Assumptions made about Artists

So, I have encountered a lot of assumptions in the last decade or so, usually by people who would not be buying expensive carpets anyway, so I don’t pay too much attention.

The number one assumption is that in order to be an artist, you cannot also be anything else.

This is rubbish, for a variety of reasons.  For one thing, my father was also an artist, and although he did it for a living, warned me off ever doing it for a living.

This was because he wasn’t actually all that happy working commercially, and felt that doing quite as much work for other people compromised his time to do anything self motivated.  Hence he said to do anything but art, and let the compulsion dictate how much I did.

In my case the compulsion was largely repression led, hence the number of male peers and large scale themes.  I don’t find your everyday codependence very interesting, so nobody that I have actually had a relationship with has ever featured heavily in my work.  It is always a superficial flirtation, often with someone I don’t even feel a relationship would ever work out with.

In any case, I think he was right.  I would be heavily diluted if I actually had to do it for money, so it is worth it to me to be free to say whatever I want.

The number two assumption is that you are a parasite and funded by some mysterious art god.

This is entirely untrue. I have always been self funded, and the reason I can afford to be self funded is because art is the only thing that actually matters.  I work in order to pay to do more work, essentially.  It devours any sense of style, love of entertainment or whatever because it is not only the thing, it is the only thing.

The number three assumption is that you are known therefore you are wealthy.

This one is quite funny.  For one thing it takes staggering effort to be known, and staggering self belief, which if we want to be any good, we don’t actually have.

I have two friends on Facebook, Philmy Reyes and Sandeep Sinde.  Both of them make more money than I do.

Philmy does rapid crude drawings of personal photographs and makes at least four thousand a week, and Sandeep makes philosophical statements in the form of drawing around his hand and turning it into a chicken.

They are also both far more well known than I am.  I am more in the exclusive quirky market, and promotion consists of the free books.  I don’t take the writing terribly seriously, it is mainly to get more pics of artwork out and balance the brain, however it is interesting sometimes.

The fourth assumption is that you are elitist

Whilst being elitist is a good idea from the perspective of price and claiming to do something unique and special, it is not at all necessary.  The people most interested in my work are not the buyers, but people that pass me in the street.  My perspective is that art is life itself, and because I put no pressure on myself to earn, this is more of a process of self development than assumption that I do something nobody else can do.

On the contrary, whilst my perspective turns out to be rather singular, my work is very childlike and simple, and there is no reason why people could not do it themselves.

The original purpose was to engage an entire village to up the volume at some point, and whilst life has not gone in that direction so far, the work is still possible without electricity.  This is less relevant than it was when I started, hence the investment in automation.

I find artists who believe in finicky technicalities and exclusivity in terms of skill are often the most insecure, which isn’t great for their wallet.

Having said that, I have been perfecting what to some is a basic craft form for three decades, so I am sort of guilty of this too.  Far better to put out work you aren’t in love with and make a living, I guess.

The fifth assumption is that art has to elevate your perception.

This is a dangerous one because it stops you working.  Art is a visual representation of the intangible idea.  That idea can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be.

The sixth assumption is you have to talk bullshit.

No you do not have to waffle in a pretentious and complex way to describe what you do.  That is also up to you.  You may sell more if people feel they are struggling to understand, I have no idea, but I really doubt it.

As Twisty used to say – art is untold misery and extreme emotion that happens to look nice in someone’s dining room.

Not necessarily, sometimes it just describes a feeling, but he wasn’t wrong.

 

The seventh assumption is that it has to be original.

I found an American artist who had completely ripped off this teapot, made it in cotton fabric and changed the name very slightly in an art magazine this week.  I was very pissed off, but there is very little you can do.

Anyway, that is enough for today.

Ina

 

 

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