Kenneth A. Camp's Blog, page 19

4 Things that Will Always Fulfill

A need for fulfillment is a strong motivator. We want to feel happy and satisfied. We hope to see our dreams and expectations become reality.

Yet we chase after things that leave us just the opposite. Sometimes we fully expect our pursuit to fill that longing within us to have purpose, to feel content, only to find that not only were we climbing the wrong ladder, but we had it propped against the wrong building.

Other times we foolishly run after things that will not only fall painfully short of fulfillment but also ultimately destroy us. Yet we divulge for the brief escape from our current painful reality.

Does anything exist that will always bring fulfillment?

Yes! How cruel would God be if He created us with a need for fulfillment then left us without anything that will meet that need?

I can think of at least 4 things that will always bring fulfillment.

Meaningful Relationships. Relationships alone will not always fulfill. But healthy, life-giving, God-honoring relationships will always fulfill. Sure, at times they will also potentially cause pain, but in the longterm it’s always better to cultivate meaningful relationships. This includes relationships with those who pour into your life as well as those you invest in or mentor. Ask yourself these questions as you evaluate the relationships in your life: When I leave the company of that person, do I feel more or less fulfilled? Do I give or take in the relationships in my life?
Get Back Up. If you live long enough, something will knock you down. Life is tough. The question is will you get back up? Will you overcome? When we do overcome relational pain, health issues, money challenges, and so on we experience fulfillment. And speaking of meaningful relationships…when another person comes alongside us during difficult seasons in life, the fulfillment is magnified. Allow others to help you get back up.
Generosity. Everyone…EVERYONE can give something of themselves to another. Time, knowledge, money, things, talents…something. When we give generously and cheerfully, we experience the joy of seeing another person succeed.
Communion with God. Really only this one thing fulfills completely. Creator God, the One who knows us better than we know ourselves, understands what will make us content, happy and fulfilled. It makes sense that communion, spending time with Him will give us the greatest satisfaction. For me that looks like taking everything to Him in prayer or conversation, listening to His voice through His Holy Spirit and His word, the Bible, and through times of intimate worship much like a child would express his adoration of a loving parent. He fulfills me completely, always.

These thoughts are on my mind as I am in the process of rebranding my blog. I enjoy passionately writing about topics that bring fulfillment in my life, such as, Adoption and Foster Care and Missions.

I know that you too have things you are passionate about, but you don’t always know how to identify them or fulfill them.

This is the direction that I am taking this blog. I will continue to blog about many of the same topics as many share these passions, but I will also address topics that will help you embrace your passion.

I will begin to roll out some ideas to you soon to get your feedback. Until then, pursue what God has planted in you! It is meant to impact, influence and bless someone.

One Thing an Adopted Child Really Needs

November is National Adoption Month. All across the country families will welcome children into their forever families. Excitement. Nerves. Celebrations.

All good things!

For some children, like our son, they will have already been living with their forever family maybe as a foster kid. So it won’t be too much of an adjustment.

For others, their adjustment is abrupt. One day they are in foster home, a group home, or an orphanage. The next day they have a forever family of their own! Quite a change.

After the excitement and parties are over, life goes on. House rules. Homework. Hanging with friends.

And dealing with trauma. Adoption doesn’t heal the trauma.

Anyone who has adopted a child knows that they aren’t miraculously healed just because they are now a part of your loving forever home.

The residual effects of abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc. continue to manifest in different ways through different phases of life.

Sensory challenges, impulsivity, fear responses, hyper-activity, and on and on.

Our son who just turned five struggles with all of these even though he has been in our family for over four years now. And we adopted him about three years ago.

Even though many days his behavior exhausts us (maybe it’s because we are in our 50s!), we are pretty used to it. We see the progress as he exhibits healthy attachment, better self-control, and proof of feeling more safe.

Yet, in many social settings he still gets overly excited or fearful and struggles with controlling his body. And we watch other parents begin to move away. Slowly. Taking their kids with them. “Why don’t you play over here little Johnny.”

We act like we don’t notice or that it doesn’t bother us, but I want to say, “Wait! He is doing so much better!” “He really is a great kid!”

What is One Important Thing an Adopted Child Needs?

He needs friends who will stick by him. 

I understand parents who pull away. I really do. But I so love the ones who see past the behavior and see the child. We have been blessed with several friends who do just that. They see all of our son’s good traits in spite of his struggles.

No one does or should allow any bad behavior. But our son needs friends who will stick with him even when he acts poorly. Our son needs healthy, positive social encounters. This helps him overcome his fear, anxiety, and lack of self-control.

What does it look like to stick by a child who has a trauma background and exhibits challenging behavior?

Don’t respond with fear. 
Take to time to know their story. Knowing a person’s story leads to compassion for that person.
Understand that the behavior is trauma and fear based. Most kids from a hard place aren’t rebellious troublemakers. They are reacting in a way any of us, at any age, would without some help to do otherwise.
Learn from the parent how to interact with their child. The child’s parents probably have become experts in the field of helping a child learn how to regulate, make better choices, handle fear, etc.
Know that connecting with the child helps in their healing process. Connection empowers a child from a hard place giving them great odds to heal and learn how to cope with trauma in a healthy way.

Next time you see that child with the outlandish, over-the-top behavior, please don’t run the other way. If you have the opportunity to befriend them and their family, that’s what they really need.

Have a thought or question? Please share in the comment section or on Facebook and Twitter to invite others to the conversation. 

5 Reasons to Embrace Pain

I hate pain. I moan, cry, groan, yell, sometimes say bad words. And, that’s when I have a stomach ache. Danielle just rolls her eyes.

As I write this, I am wearing a soft cast boot on my ankle I had surgically repaired about five weeks ago Yeah, just a little painful.

Then to make it more fun, I began rehab two weeks ago. So far that has reminded me of the Thai foot massages I got while living in Thailand. Kind of nice, and kind of not so nice. I know the  real pain is yet to come.

How I Used to Handle Pain

I used to run from pain. Any kind of pain. Physical, emotional, relational. If it hurt, I wanted no part of it.

Emotional and relational pain especially. Let’s just say I became a master at either ignoring it or escaping from it. Always made sense to me. Why deal with it if it will go away on its own.

I bet I’m not alone. In fact, I know I am not alone.

I am learning that embracing pain is better.

So why am I saying we should learn to embrace pain?

It’s healthier. Really it could save your life. God created us to feel pain for a reason. If I touch a hot stove and don’t feel pain…you get the idea. Same thing is true with emotional and relational pain. The feeling of pain tells you that something is not right. If you don’t pay attention to the pain, you probably will end up in a lot more pain.
Forces to live in the present. I know that many times intense pain needs to be removed so that healing can happen. For example, I am THANK-FUL for anesthesia during the surgery and Vicodin for a few days after. Like many I also “go to my happy place” when I am in rehab or some other physically painful moment. However recently I began doing just the opposite. I put my full attention on the place of pain. I mentally embrace the pain allowing my mind to live right in that moment.
We can move through the pain. If we constantly avoid or escape pain in our lives, it really doesn’t go away. It will eventually overrun us. Yet when we embrace it, we move through it quickly to sunnier skies.
Produces endurance. “Let us rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us.” (Romans 3:3-5). I can’t say it better than that.
Communion with God. Instead of running away or escaping, God invites Himself into our pain. If we avoid pain, we miss out on this opportunity. Nothing brings a deeper knowing of someone than one that walks through pain with us.

This whole idea of embracing my pain is new ground for me…at least within the past 10 years or so. It seems odd to say it, but I have found joy in the midst of much of my pain and suffering.

As I look toward many more months of recovery I know I will suffer physical pain, but i fully expect that I will reap great benefit physically, emotionally, and relationally.

Have thoughts about this post? Share your comments either here or on Facebook or Twitter. Let others join the conversation!

Hey Dad! How Present Are You in Your Child’s Life?

Who hasn’t read a study with statistics showing the challenges of fatherless families. Single moms struggling to provide for their kids. Children lacking a positive male role model. Boys and girls growing up many times destined to repeat the cycle.

I am a foster care/adoption advocate and adoptive father. I write about foster care and adoption. I work with families who foster and/or adopt, and I work with orphan care organizations.

So I see firsthand the impact on children when a father is absent or non-existent.

It’s easy to trace back to a fatherless family a lot of the hyper-active, apathetic, rebellious behavior seen in children, especially boys.

A lot has been written about ways to help offset this dilemma ranging from increased governmental support to local community, faith-based support to educating young families about healthy marriage and family life.

Deservingly so, most of the attention goes to these families that are minus a father figure.

What About Dads Who Are “Present”?

How present are you really? I have noticed that even families where the father is “present”, many of the same challenges exist. What’s the reason for this?

You know, I am like a lot of dads. I struggle sometimes entering my son’s world. I easily get focused on the things in my own areas of interest, and my interaction with him boils down to instruction and correction. Even at five-years-old, I can tell a difference in how he responds to me, and others, when I take time to do what he enjoys. Now at this age that includes building things, exploring a new trail, or putting on a super hero vs transformers fight.

So, even where the dad lives with his family, the children can suffer from an absent or uninvolved dad.

What I really find interesting is when a family fosters or adopts and the father still isn’t very present. That communicates to me a couple of things. First, the family really don’t understand the needs of a child from a hard place. Two, the wife had the desire to foster or adopt and the husband went along with it.

Whether you are the dad of biological, adopted, or foster children, they need you to be present in their lives.

What do I mean by the word “present”? They don’t only need you to stick around and provide for the family, they need you to be tuned in, involved, in the moment, not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, aware of what is going on their lives…not from your perspective but from theirs.

Instead of talking about how…I think each child has a different how…here are a few reasons why your child needs you to be present in their lives.

Why Sons Need their Father Present

A model of how to be a man. Of course this assumes that you know how to be a man. Your son needs a man to role model for him things like how to treat women, how to work hard and earn a living, how to relate to authority, etc. No wonder so many boys and young men struggle when this is absent.
Learn that’s ok to be a boy. When a boy is five, 10, 15 years-old, they need to feel like they can actually enjoy being that age. When a father is absent, that young boy or man feels a need to grow up too fast. This is a huge felt-safety need. When you are present, fully present, they feel safe to do the same. They learn to live life embracing their present.
Understand that boys and men have emotions too. When a father is absent, a young boy doesn’t know how to navigate the emotions they encounter. A father can help them learn how to handle anger, sadness, disappointment, happiness, excitement, and so on. A mother can help of course, but as we all know, men and women are different creatures!

Why Daughters Need their Father Present

A model of how a man appropriately treats a woman. A young girl, whether five or 15, needs a father who will show her how a man is to appropriately love and treat her. This will happen her father relates to her personally and as she watches him relate to his wife, her mother.
Learn that they are safe to be a girl. Same as a young boy, yet different. A young girl/woman should feel safe in her relationship with her father. When she knows that he is there for her, providing for her needs, protecting her from harm, and purely loving her, she feels safe.
Understand they are treasured. Fathers probably won’t always understand their daughters, but they can always treasure them. A father who takes time to know his daughter by listening, playing, even dating them will communicate value and worth to his daughter. Yes, his daughter may have to look long and hard to find a husband who matches that, but what a positive standard and expectation a present father can set for his daughter.

That’s just a few reasons that our children need us as father’s present in their lives. 

I understand that some, maybe many fathers reading this feel pressure or overwhelmed. Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t know how to do this! I didn’t have a good role model in my life.”

That’s ok! Seek out other men who are doing a good job being present with their children and simply spend time with them. Look for a an older man whose children are grown and learn from them. If you look for these men, you will find them.

Have any other reasons you can add to why we fathers need to be present in our children’s lives? Leave a comment either here or on Facebook (with a link to this blog)

Is the American Dream Killing Our Passion for Missions?

5 Ways We Can Create Wealth and Still Have a Passion for Missions

Recently the president of the International Mission Board (IMB), David Platt, announced that his organization will soon cut 600-800 missionaries and staff. The IMB is the missionary sending organization for the Southern Baptists.

A study by The Center for the Study of Global Christianity (CSGC) at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary a few years ago made some interesting calculations about not only the missionaries sent by the U.S. but by all countries around the world.

A couple of statistics caught my attention:

When the numbers are calculated by the number of missionaries sent per million church members these are the results

Palestine – 3014 per million church members followed by Ireland, Malta, and Samoa.
South Korea ranked 5th with 1014 missionaries sent per one million church members.
United States ranked 9th with 614 missionaries sent per one million church members.


The country that received the most missionaries in 2010? The United States, with 32,400 sent from other nations.

*taken from Christianity Today Article.

Could our pursuit of the American Dream have us off-track?

The American Dream. That phrase stirs up different emotions in people. Some think it’s a myth. Others live and die pursuing it. People from all around the world flock to America, because they believe it to exist.

I agree with this definition of the American Dream:

…a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers.Wikipedia
Christian Dilemma 

What is a Christian to do about the pursuit of the American Dream? Is it best to not create prosperity and success so that one isn’t tempted by the world? Or should a Christian embrace the freedom given here in this country to create wealth?

Either extreme can kill our passion for mission work. 

The Challenge

If you lean toward not pursuing success and creating more than you need, then you don’t have the means to give to missions, either local or around the world.

And you if you want to go on the mission field, you have to rely on someone else’s wealth.

Hmm.

But can a Christian successfully pursue the American Dream without succumbing to the trappings of success?

I think it all boils down to what a person’s motivation is for pursuing the American Dream. If the motivation is any of the following:

Status
Keeping up with peers
Living a life of comfort
Satisfying a need for more

Then I think all that will do is lead to is apathy, pride, boredom, and disinterest.

That kind of pursuit of the American Dream will definitely kill our passion for missions.

What Is Our Motivation?

The challenge lies in the motivation for prosperity and success. Exactly why and for what purpose do we as American Christians want to prosper?

Once the pursuit for the American Dream is unleashed, what will keep things in perspective for a Christian who prospers?

How can we both create wealth and still have a passion for missions?

First, fall in love with the One who sends. God is a missionary God. He sent His Son.
Embrace His mission. Not only is God a missionary God, He has a mission for us.
Go on short-term mission trips. Experiencing first-hand the need around the world to hear the Good News will change your perspective.
Understand who gives you the ability to create wealth. Yes we live in a country where we can choose what we do to earn money, but it is God who gives the ability, talent, etc. And, He gave you this ability and opportunity for His purpose.
Hang around others who have a missionary heart. We truly become like those we spend time with. If you are hanging out with people who are consumed with needing more and more stuff, you will want the same things. However, if you are around people who use their wealth for God’s purpose, guess what? That most likely will motivate you to do the same.

I will share soon another blog about a concept called “Giving Circles”. Stay tuned!

To whom much is given, much is required.Luke 12:48

Who Is Supposed to Fight the Bad Guys?

Our now five-year-old son is like any boy that age I suppose. He likes to build things, explore, play with cars and legos…and fight bad guys.

It’s not that big of a deal, but some days or days on end, it is his choice of play. It goes beyond just playing make believe. I think he really feels a need to fight bad guys.

I notice that he “fights bad guys” when he is uneasy about his environment, such as, anywhere new, noisy, or anywhere or anyone that unsettles him. Instead of just playing chase or some other usual kid’s game, he assumes the role of protector. He has to fight the bad guys, whether they are other kids, me, or some made up villain.

I have told my son that he doesn’t have to be the one to fight the bad guys. He can enjoy being a little boy. He can explore his world knowing that he has a daddy and mommy who protects him.

I understand that any child has a need for security, but something innate in a child from a hard place puts them on constant surveillance. They need to make sure that their environment is safe.

Sadly, this extreme need for safety robs them of their childhood. Kids who live years in foster care or orphanages are often know to be “street smart”.

Even though our son has lived with us for over four years, he still exhibits these actions.

I hope that he will feel safe in his environment sooner rather than later. However, I recognize that anytime something new is introduced into his world, he likely will respond in some controlling way like “I need to fight the bad guys!”

I Tend to Do the Same Thing!

As I think about all of this, I, and a lot of my peers, do the same thing. I think that I have to fight the “bad guys” in my life.

If someone does me wrong or offends me, I feel that I have to stand up for myself. Besides, if I don’t, who else will? I am the hero!

But the reality is I have a Father who tells me that He is my protector. He is the one who repays wrong done to me. God tells me the same thing I tell my young son. I guess I’m not all that different from him even though I am much older and didn’t come from a hard place.

How would my life look different if I let my Heavenly Father protect me? Can I learn to rest in that truth and live life as He intended for me to live? I bet if I can learn to live like this, my son can better learn that he too doesn’t have to fight the bad guys in his life—both real and imagined.

Sigh…I think God has the same message to me as I do my son:

Learn to Rest in Him and learn to live life freely as He meant for me to live.

Why I Think Using Kindle Direct Publishing Is Fantabulous

5 Reasons I Chose to Use KDP Exclusively

I am in the middle of publishing an ebook series—Respond to the Call to Care for Orphans: Book 1: Count the Cost was published on August 15, 2015. Currently, you can get it only on Amazon.

Earlier this year I decided to take some of my blog content written about Foster Care and Adoption and compile it into a series of ebooks.

My research into the digital world of self-publishing convinced me that the time was right to put these ebooks together and publish them.

I want to share with you why I decided on Kindle Direct Publishing to publish my ebooks.

What is Kindle Direct Publishing?

Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) is Amazon’s ebook publishing company

After you format your manuscript for the Kindle, which you can find many how-to helps online for that, you can upload your correctly formatted manuscript onto KDP in about 5 minutes for free. Yep free.

I recommend that you do a couple of things first before you upload your manuscript to KDP:

Get your book professionally edited. Sure this will cost you a little bit of money, but you want to put your name on quality work.
Choose a front cover graphic or photo that will look good as a thumbnail. That’s the first thing most customers will see on Amazon, so the cover needs to be something they can see and read.

Once you upload your book, it’s usually ready for sell on Amazon within 24 hours.

You can follow pretty much a similar process to get your book published for Nook, Apple Books and so on. No doubt it makes sense to make your book available in as many formats as possible to reach a larger audience.

However, I decided to make my ebook series exclusively available on Amazon.

Why I Decided to Market My Book Only on Amazon

Amazon is the major player in the world of ebook publishing. They by far sell more ebooks than any other online vendor; therefore, they command more traffic.
Worldwide availability. My ebooks are available for sale in over 10 worldwide markets.
By choosing Kindle Select which requires that my ebook is only available on Amazon for 90 days. (renewable agreement for subsequent 90 days), I get a 70% royalty on each ebook sold.
As a beginning author, it’s more manageable to have my ebooks on one site. ( I can always expand to other formats and sites later)
KDP provides an efficient, quick, low cost way to get my books to market. For now they are only in ebook form, but I plan to combine all four ebooks later next year into one book that I will publish as a softcover edition too.

Now, if you are an established writer then, you bet, it makes sense to get your work on as many sites as possible.

But I don’t have a Kindle!

You might be thinking, “I don’t have a Kindle, so I can’t read your book!” Well, did you know that you can get a free Kindle reader app on your smart phone, other digital devices like an iPad, and your laptop? You sure can. And the cool thing is you can sync them all so you pick up where you left off in a book no matter what device you are using. So you don’t have to buy a Kindle product to read a Kindle ebook.

Easy enough that you can publish your book now!

I know many of you have a book you have either already written or have inside of you dying to get. If the daunting prospects of publishing has prevented you from doing so, I encourage you to consider Kindle Direct Publishing.

The Terror-Strickened Response to the Syrian Refugee Crisis

Why is that so often our first response is based on our fear? We gravitate easily to a worst-case scenario.

If you pay attention at all to current events, you know that a crisis is happening in Syria. Because of a civil war that’s lasted for over four years, and now ISIS, thousands of refugees are fleeing the country.

At first, most of the refugees fled into neighboring countries like Jordan and Turkey. But now many have taken on the dangerous journey of making an attempt to get into Europe. Sadly, many have died along the way.

Countries throughout the Middle East and Europe are struggling with how to best handle the influx of the refugees.

Some have stated that this is the largest movement of refugees since WWII.

It’s interesting when we look back at that time in history, it’s hard for to understand the lack of response during WWII. The majority of people were against what the Nazis were doing throughout Europe, but they remained silent.

Out of Fear.

Sadly, we are repeating history.

Headlines like Refugee Crisis in Syria Raises Fears in South Carolina and Mood Sours in Germany… support my concern.

The biggest fear, because the majority of the refugees are muslim, is that they will either cloak the entry of jihadic terrorists, or they will never assimilate into a Christian society. Or both.

Either might be true. But is that enough of a reason for a panic laced response?

My friend Josh Armstrong and his wife, Jen, happened to be in Hungary just as the crisis there escalated. Thousands of refugees were making their way through Hungary when they the government basically trapped them at the train station forcing many to continue the trek on foot once again.

You can listen to their podcast about their first-hand experience here.

Drastically different “Christian” responses

We can argue that the predominantly muslim arabic countries should be opening their borders to the entire refugee population. Some to an extent are like Jordan, Lebanon, Turkey, and Egypt. But the others, and more financially able, simply aren’t doing so, yet.

And even in the arabic countries that are allowing them in, they aren’t allowing them to work. So, they are leaving for more democratic, Judeo-Christian countries.

Within the “christian” leadership of these countries, one argument is “these muslim refugees will ruin our christian way of life”. The other is, “if we claim to be Christians, then we are compelled to help whatever the cost.

How my worldview shapes my response

Yes I have a Christian worldview, and not only because I was born an American. I study the ways of Jesus. I follow His teachings. I spend time with Him. He shapes my worldview.

I do understand fear, ignorance, even apathy. I experience all of those. But that should NOT to the point of turning away people who need help.

Instead, I hope that His nature in me compels me to respond like the Good Samaritan did. A person who risked their reputation and safety to care for one in need.

I join those in this country encouraging our government to increase the amount of Syrian refugees accepted into our land. Yes, we should do all we can to screen these people. But we never can know for sure.

If families are resettled into my community as many others have been over the years, my heart is to help them learn of our ways. Having lived in a foreign country before, I know one of the most comforting forms of compassion is a local resident helping a foreigner understand how to live in that country.

This country has a rich history of immigrants calling this place home. For most of us, we can trace our lineage back to family who immigrated here from another country, many because of persecution of some kind.

We should never forget or lose that reputation.

I will give to support organizations, both locally and abroad, that are helping these families in their time of crisis.

My worldview compels me to do so.

This isn’t anything new. And I predict in the decades to come it will only become more common. So I have a choice. Will I resist it out of fear, or will I prepare for it. Not prepare for it in a way to defend myself from it. But prepare in such a way that I can help others in need in any way possible.

That’s what a missionary does.

Organizations to support: (I selected these because they are smaller organizations that tend to work with lower overhead and more hands on through local residents and churches. Of course, many of the larger, well-known organizations are also working to help the Syrian refugees)

Thirst No More

BGR (Baptist Global Response)

YWAM Middle East

Here is an article from Huffington Post with 6 more not necessarily faith-based organizations.

 

Driving Fast on the Wrong Road

A Guest Post by Matt Peacock

This is a guest post by Matt Peacock, a pastor and now executive director of Partners in Hope Lake Travis.

In looking at the culture we live in I can’t think of a better description of daily life than driving fast down the wrong road. We can easily assume we just need to jump on the highway of contemporary American culture and drive fast enough to stay up, without ever asking if it’s the right road.

What do I mean by driving fast?
Busyness is held as the inescapable norm – so do it all the way.

How many times have we expressed how busy we are to others in our conversations and heard it from others. It is a badge of honor in our culture that we are driving as fast as everyone else: making every appointment, involving our kids in every opportunity, making sure the calendar has no days unplanned.

But instead of the feeling of the wind blowing through our hair – it is more like a recurring scene from the end of the world movie where the hero out drives the disaster in the rear view mirror trying to swallow you up. We moan and groan about the pressure and the hectic pace, but we know we would be seen as a failure to not keep up. Those who are able to drive the fastest the longest are envied and held in high esteem.

Satisfaction is found in the destination not the drive – so the more destinations the better.

We are convinced that it is the places which satisfy, so the faster we can drive the more places we can go. We push a little harder on the gas so we can get there faster, so we can then get somewhere else. We take a picture and post it on social media to prove we were there.

Life becomes the pursuit of destinations that are temporary and never as good as the next one we want to get to. In between “drive” time becomes the necessary evil we have to endure. The more we drive the more we are frustrated so we try to go faster to reach more temporary destinations.

If everyone is doing it, it must be right – right?

When we start driving we see the majority of the cars jumping on the highway. We just assume that must be the right way to go – driving fast must be the way to live. To do otherwise would be out of step, to do otherwise doesn’t seem to be an option. Where is another model? Everyone else seems to be bucking it up and getting on the highway – so it must be right – right?

How can I say it’s the wrong road?
Does it really lead to what you want? How does it end?

Stopping long enough to evaluate the highway of life you are driving is to truly see where it leads. A life committed to driving fast on the highway has many ways to not end well. The destinations promised to satisfy never do. The stress of always pushing takes its toll on relationships instead of helping them.

We end up either driving too fast to stop for people or we run them over. When life’s obstacles appear around a curve we end up in a crash before we knew what happened. The highway seems to be taking us somewhere – but the end of the road is not good.

Do you know what you are driving by?

Another pitfall of driving fast is not seeing what we have gone by. How many times have parents looked up and they have a grown up child and we wonder where the time went. In all our time trying to get to the next place and keep the schedule – we miss the simple and meaningful times of life.

It is like running a marathon as fast as you can, but all you see is the other runners around you and the race is over. What difference does it make if the race was in Boston or Austin if you never looked outside of the race?

You can Enjoy the walk.

The truth that culture hides is that you can and will enjoy the walk. Get off the highway and see what you have been driving by. Take the side roads and the less traveled paths. There will be less money, less possessions, less activity, less resume building, less popularity and status, and you may never be happier and more content. The exact opposite of what the highway billboards sell.

 

It is time to quit thinking a relationship with God is texting Him while we drive fast on the highway. When we get off the highway we have a chance to actually live as Jesus desires for us. To walk with Him day by day and be amazed at what He does on the side roads. He waits to see who comes off the Highway either by choice hoping for something different, or by ambulance after a crash.

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Learn more about how PIH is helping transform families in the Lake Travis, Texas community @ PartnersInHopeLakeTravis.org

Children Are a Heritage of the Lord

Guest Post by Madeleine Melcher

This is a guest post from Madeleine Melcher, an adoptee, mommy, author, and blogger. You can find her writing on sites such as Dave Thomas Foundation and The Huffington Post as well on her own site, OurJourneytoYouAdoption.com. You can find contact and book information at the end of this blog.

The following blog is an excerpt by adoptee Madeleine Melcher from the book she co-authored with Rachel Garlinghouse:  Encouragement for the Adoption and Parenting Journey: 52 Devotions and a Journal

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.Psalm 127:3

When each of my children were placed in my arms, I thought there could not have been a more darling, perfect, blanket full of wrinkles, smells and smiles in the world. Perfect. No doubt, even as newborns, my kids were the smartest, best most wonderfulest (were that a word) human beings in all the land. I could have looked at those sweet little faces and hands and toes forever. Children truly are a heritage from the Lord. Plainly said, they are a gift. Some in the adoption community will tell you it is not okay to call a child a gift either to yourself or from a birth parent, but truth be told children, all children, are a gift from God to the world.

Knowing I was adopted was normal…

I was adopted. Knowing I was adopted was as normal to me as having a belly button: it was just always there. Growing up, I often shared my adoption story with others in the neighborhood or at school.   My story was just how I came to be with my family. It was my truth, just as some people may be a twin or might have been born prematurely. My own sweet mommy was never shy about expressing her thankfulness for my adoption or our family story. She said she had a tummy ache for the whole twenty-four hours before I arrived to her following the social workers call- that is how excited she was for me to arrive! Nor did she shy from telling me what I blessing I was. Not because I was adopted, but because I was me and she was so happy to love me. I was truly celebrated every day in a million different ways. Every child should be.

If you are feeling low; feeling so incredibly unworthy of God’s reward and of His amazing grace and all He provides, remember that you too are a heritage from the Lord. We are all His children, and He will provide us with what we need. If you are waiting to adopt I know you already have an inkling of the love you will burst wide open when your child arrives. If you are already parenting, I know you know how you suddenly seem to exude love from every nook and cranny for that child that might as well have hung the moon (no matter what smells they make!).

If you are waiting for God’s reward, please do not think in any way that the reward is only for those who are perfect in some part of their life. I am not perfect, yet by God’s grace have known so many joys in my life, not the least of which my three children. Children just like anything else God provides come without our truly being worthy. Remember, you started out as a child; we are ALL a heritage of the Lord. God was just as excited to see your face and to see you arrive to this world. He wants to provide for you just as you will or do provide for your child.

Going through the adoption process, one truly comes to appreciate the gift that children are. EVERY child is a gift. Whether they were adopted, a preemie, one of three triplets or the tenth child of twelve in the family, they are all gifts. My babies are much bigger now; their little faces have changed (so have their smells) and all but one have lost the dimples on those little hands but they will always be “my babies”. Whether they throw a fit before school, refuse to eat their veggies or even if your child struggles with bigger issues they are ours and they came from Him. He feels the same way about YOU, too! I have a sign that says, Children are a heritage of the Lord, in my own home with my sweet babies’ little pre-school pictures hanging under it. Oh how I love those sweet lil’ cheeks. They are a blessing; even on their worst days- don’t we all want to be that to God? To each other?

A Prayer of Thanksgiving…

I am saying a prayer of thanksgiving right now for my children, as well as yours and those you are hoping for. God is so good in sharing these amazing little humans with us. No matter how imperfect you feel as a parent or a Christian, remember; God celebrates you, His child, and all of his children. No one better knows your heart or what you need, more than God and no parent has ever loved His children more than He has loved us. We are the heritage of the Lord and will always share that heritage with our children. Feeling humbled yet? I sure am!

Books by Madeleine Melcher:

           

 

COMING SOON! Madeleine’s book for parents through adoption, written from her perspective as an adoptee.

You can follow Madeleine here:

Twitter

Facebook pages—Adoption Resource & Adoption Devotional