Myunique C. Green's Blog, page 18

Professional Development Out Now!

There was a student holiday about a week ago.

I didn’t want to go to work.

If anything I thought it was extremely unfair that I had to be at school when the kids didn’t. Granted, being there without them is about as good as it gets. 

Anyways, it was a Professional Development day and they had it all lined with activities that I honestly believe are designed to waste your time. I don’t think I’ve talked to a single teacher who walks away from those things feeling any more developed than when they sat down.

Well, the good news is, I’m not really a teacher anymore, per say, my job title has been changed to an Instructional Specialist so I spend a lot of time looking at data charts and progress reports these days.

Much to my surprise, I’m actually really great at doing it too.

But, I’m talking about Professional Development, that’s right.

Yes.

So, there I was sitting idly by in my cozy office with nothing better to do when I just had an idea to write up a few stories. The kids do it all the time with these writing tests, so I figured I’d go ahead and try my hand at it, it definitely couldn’t hurt anything. The end result was about five stories that I became really proud of.

I formatted it and released it to Amazon Kindle.

The end.

Let Me Waste a Little Bit of Your Time

Science says that you officially become an adult at 25. You start making better choices and you’re fully matured… or something. I guess that’s why you get a drastic discount on your insurance. That discount was actually the whole reason I was looking forward to turning 25. I’m serious.

Anyways, I’m at a weird stage in my life and I have to say that I’ve learned a lot about myself this past year. I’ve learned what it’s like to be self-sufficient. The freedom that comes along with being your own boss and doing things just because you want to do them.

It’s all been one constant uphill battle.

I’m not a kid anymore.

I’m not this super-wise and all knowing Master that just seems to know everything, either.

I’m just a girl who has found a couple of things she’s good at and explores options. I have to say that I thought by now my life would be a lot different. I wanted to be married at 18, kids at 20 and living the rest of my life surrounded by family. My reality is that I’m single, I haven’t spoken to my mother in a couple of months now, I have three cats and I teach. True, I have accomplished some things and checked off some goals, and I would be lying if I said my life is empty. I think that’s the part that gets me.

I’m actually really content right now.

My psychiatrists says that she thinks that I should at least date because it might be good for me. Maybe it would get me out of my own head.

But I like it here.

Being on your own, you experience certain liberties that I think a lot of people take for granted. Like actually having the time to learn yourself and see other people for what they are.

Just looking back on the last two years of my life, I have to say I would have NEVER guessed I would end up here. Two years ago I was living with my mother, a I temporary job that paid me just enough money to keep gas in the car I’d gotten with a school refund check, and doing just enough ministry time to stay active.

That was my life.

I was so depressed I wanted to just end it all. I sent my cousin a text that read “I’m done.” and I kid you not, she was pulling up outside within ten minutes. She kept me going.

Kept me praying.

Then, my prayers starting getting more specific.

I started relying more on God and his promises. He told me it was time.

He became my strength.

When I think about how everything changed, it burns. It fills my heart with so much praise because I honestly feel delivered from that.

 

Review: Burning September by Melissia Simonson

I don’t really review books often, but for this one I’m going to make an exception. In fact, this book may be the exception to a lot. I like writing about things on my mind and right now, this is it. So, maybe it’s not really a review but a cleansing.

There are things I really, really love about Burning September and then there are things that are really not-so-great. But that has nothing to do with the writing and all to do with the characters.

I’m going to start with stating that I was neither paid in any way to read this book, and I came across it on my own. I don’t think I ever really meant to read it actually; from the overview I didn’t really like how it sounded, I felt as if it would be one of those books that I steer clear of. Unsure what exactly beckoned me to get started on this little gem I started reading the sample, and when it ended I knew I couldn’t stop until I had gotten the whole story. Call me nosy. 

Melissa does such a great job of making you as much a part of the story as the actual characters. The setting is depicted with such vivid detail that you can practically smell the surroundings. The characters themselves are very well developed too; when they interact with each other, the dialogue flows, it’s organic like normal conversations should be. It does have a great deal of “choice words” that I think are unnecessary, but that’s a matter of personal opinion. I feel the characters could express themselves with a lot more clarity had those words been swapped. But, given the society we live in, it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility that most eighteen-year-olds have a potty mouth.

The thing I really like about this book is the fact that although Katya has been living under her sister (severely so), she isn’t very meek; she chooses not to say certain words but not from fear of saying them, and the things she does say proves how quick-witted she really is. She doesn’t shy away from a whole lot, and sometimes I feel as though the author wants to have you believe that she’s withdrawn or introverted as more of a plot device rather than actually apart of the character. As the story progresses, we see her starting to be more accepting of herself as who she is. She’s so darn likable. That’s probably one of the most intriguing parts of this books, the growth. To be honest, I believe her relationship with Kyle is kind of the key that starts moving things along, even though it doesn’t really start off as a relationship at all. Katya’s growth here is handled perfectly, it doesn’t bounce around to where you’re left in confusion on how all of a sudden she’s able to stand on her own. 

Caroline is one of those characters that you love to hate. From the start you see something that’s kind of demented within her. It’s so twisted that it’s almost scary. There’s a difference between being a mother-bear and suffocating the life out of someone. Here’s what I mean when I say that: the grip that Caroline has on Katya’s life is so tight I’m surprised the girl is able to speak at all. Caroline is the take charge, I don’t take crap from anyone, sister-mom. Katya is 1,000 percent dependent on her. That’s the demented part. I think in some odd way, I got the impression that Caroline fed on that. Sure, she wanted to protect her sister and would do anything for her baby sister, but geesh, it’s a wonder if she still gave her baths until she was seventeen or cut her meat into little cubes and feed them to her. “Here come’s the airplane!” For a while after Caroline was hauled off, Katya was was like a baby doe trying to walk on those knobby knees for the first time.

Kyle was so necessary. But, don’t think I’m over the fact that he was a 29 year old that low-key fell in love with girl of 18. How he would drop everything and come running. I wanted to not like him because of that, especially when he would swoop in with alcohol like predators do to young naive girls. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t quite bring myself to hate him. Deep down, I think everyone needs a Kyle. 

The storyline takes place over the span of a year. I don’t think I really expected it to be this long either. It took a few days to wrap it up, of course I couldn’t dedicate whole days to reading it, but I did read at work, before I went to bed, I fit it in anywhere I could, really. I think it was designed to take awhile. Especially since it isn’t technically a chapter book and instead broken down into months. September to September.

Now, one of the most ANNOYING things that happens in this book is the somewhat Stockholm Syndrome type thing Katya has with Caroline. I swear, she couldn’t have one single thought without the ever present, “Caroline would have done it this way,” or “Caroline hated this or that.” It was overwhelming and was probably one of the most unnatural things happening here. I’d venture to guess that Caroline’s name is mentioned over 6,000 times. It’s like a Caroline Bible–the UnHoly Scriptures of the Modern Testament. I’m serious. We have a story written from Katya’s perspective, in her own unique voice only to be lead right back to Caroline. I reached an eyeroll point.

WWCD (What Would Caroline Do?)

It had started to work my nerves a little bit. Granted, I think had the story been told from Caroline’s POV it wouldn’t have been as great as it was. The fact that you really start to care about what happens to Katya more so than what happens to Caroline is the strength within this book.

My second quarrel was the lack of diversity! This was very one-toned–literally. For awhile I honestly thought I was reading a book meant for the Aryan Race. Literally everyone had blonde hair and blue eyes, except for the post-traumatic professor. No bronze, cocoa, lemon-tinted, just pale, tanned, ivory. Mostly pale. I don’t know how the author did it, but she found a million ways to describe blue eyes. After about the fifth character being introduced with some variation of blonde hair (dark, light, golden) did I realize, that everyone in this book must look the same; maybe within some sort of confine, or dome, where people of color have no acceptance, let alone existence. I feel different ways about them, and their physical attributes and personas give a great sense of who they are but there seemed to be a little bit too much of a dependence on white people with blue eyes. It made me question whether that’s all that lived in California and I’ve been there a few times. I certainly wasn’t the fly swimming in milk. Perhaps the author is really gunning for a particular market with that one. So, if you’re the kind of person who likes exotic characters, you probably wouldn’t like this; it’s pretty close to Hitler’s vision of a New World Order, if you ask me. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the authors choices and although the lack of diversity kind of made me raise an eyebrow, it didn’t in anyway distract me from reading. It’s just one of those things that you notice in a book that’s meant to be in real-time.

Overall, I really have to say that I loved it. I spent a large portion of hours that I was supposed to be getting work done reading through it. I bought the ebook and the physical book because it’s one of those books you want to talk about; I could easily see this being one the list of some book club. Plus, the name has a ton of star-power in itself.

Burning September.

As you read the book, you can just roll through different interpretations of the name. I don’t really want to give out any spoilers, so I have to cut myself short here. I need a support group now; people to mull over the greatness this holds. So many things I want to talk about. One things for sure, I would like to see a follow-up to this book. Towards the end it started to feel rushed. A novella would be perfect for my unanswered questions.

I would highly recommend giving this book a read. It’s a well executed piece of literature that has more than earned a prominent spot on my bookshelf.

I did most of my reading through Amazon’s Kindle, but it’s also available in print. Go ahead and hop on over to her site: melissasimonsonbooks.com to check out out some of her other books and writings.

Where I’m Coming From

I don’t really think a lot of people understand.

I try to make it as simple as I can but still their vision is clouded by their own judgement.

For years I spent my life trapped inside of a fantasy based on how I felt my life should be, and although I’ve overcome that stage of life, I have also realized that the more things change the more they stay the same. 

Things were a lot simpler when I could just write for a living. Didn’t have to work out of necessity but instead out of boredom. Granted, life is a lot better for me now, more stable, if you dare to call it that, but still it gets a little dark up here sometimes.

From the outside looking in, I think people assume I have it all together, and for a while, I’ve allowed that foolish line of thought.

No one has it all together.

We’re all just trying to play the cards we were dealt. Some of us mastered the art of bluffing until everyone else folds.

I don’t really expect people to understand.

I try to be the girl I’ve always imagined I was. The one in my head that went out and did things. Lived life.

Loved.

Was loved in return.

Well, I’m 2 for 4. I believe going out and accomplishing things for myself has really only made things different. I’m not saying harder. Just different. Strange, even. I don’t exactly find myself impressed by a lot.

Maybe that makes me hard to reach. Somewhere down the line I caught the “I can do it myself” virus.

That’s what I want you to believe.

Deep down, I don’t really want people to understand.

 

 

Love, or Whatever

I remember writing this little poem for a Creative Writing class my sophmore year in college. Figured I would go ahead and share it.

 

This is the story she told

the one that starts with love growing cold.

She never knew it could hurt like hell, or feel so good until

she was knee deep in it.

The way it overtook her mind

so that she couldn’t focus

on anything else.

 

Then, it was all stripped away

at once, which felt nothing

like a Band-Aid

tugging on uneasy flesh,

but more like a rusty razor

slicing jaggedly across her wrist.

Ripping.

Tearing.

Releasing the pressure building

inside her veins

until she felt the dying take over slowly.

 

This is the story she told

the one that ends with releasing temptations hold.

She never knew that through her tears, in the random fits

of anger and even during her unending silence,

she’d somehow manage to move on.

I Don’t Like to be Sensationalized.

Here it is three o’clock in the morning and I’ve just finished watching Amy, a documentary about Amy Winehouse, and I have to say I did cry a little at the end. I’m going to blame that in part on the music and the fact that she really has passed on.

Mind you, when Back to Black was released I was around 15 or 16 years old. I was into a lot of stuff back then, but Jazz music wasn’t one of them. I had a very strict box of things that I liked to listen to and Amy just didn’t fit into that box. I hadn’t exactly lived life long enough yet. However, there was an older friend of the family that played Back to Black like it was going out of style. In fact, I think that may be the only reason I’m aware of it’s existence in the first place.

Anyways, sure, I’d heard her name before and seen her enough in the media to have formed my own limited view of her life. Granted, I’m sure that Amy, the movie, had it’s biases and omissions, but I have to focus on the things that I can actually measure. Like the fact that she never wanted the fame.

Queue my heartstrings.

There was a video archive in particular that you can see her pain, and hurt so clearly. I’m staring at the screen like: “Look at this girl! You have to be blind not to see that she’s troubled.” When she was finally over the emotions and hurt that she’d put into Back to Black, they still made her sing it. The correlation between her music and her real-life situations is just beautiful. To be able to pull something like that off and make people feel it how you are. It’s a talent that few possess.

Amy came out in 2015. I watched it free as a part of my Prime membership and it’s one of those things where I kind of wish I never opened the gate. It’s a sensational movie. It makes me want to go back and really listen to Back to Black and Frank with newfound appreciation. But, I kind of wish she was still around. I also couldn’t help but notice how eerily similar Adele’s vocals sound. I know that images get recycled. Amy really didn’t get to live her’s out, so they just tossed it in the back and here comes Adele, with all of the vocals and none of the bad habits, after everyone’s dismissed Amy as a junkie who overdosed.

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

I can’t lie though, Adele’s “Turning Tables” does something to my soul. But really, that’s the only song she can sing for me.

Without All of the Politics (Giveaway)

It’s not hard to take the fun out of anything these days. For me, they took the fun out of writing when you have to go through all of the politics. Find an agent, so that the agent can find the publisher and now, unless your book becomes the next major blockbuster you’re really just writing for the title.

I’m an author.

The best thing that could have happened was paving the way for independently published authors. That way, you’re in control of your success. How well your book does is solely dependent on you. It has it’s up and downs.

One of the downsides of that is that now, the market is crowded with books. Some great and others…well, lets just say it should have been left on the drawing board a little longer. Speaking as someone who has experienced both sides of the spectrum, I have to say that I actually enjoy the freedom that comes with being an independent author. I don’t feel like I have a boss. I’m not upset about not reaching any particular sales goals, and if someone out there pays to read anything I have to say, I really thank and appreciate them.

A Pretty Girl, Her Tragedy, and a Chance Meeting is just something that I wanted to write. I actually completed it in three consecutive days. I had it glanced over for editing and grammar and then I released it for the world to see.

There’s no magic to it. I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not. But one thing I am is, very proud of my work. Everything that I have written. I earned my title of National Bestselling Author fair and square.

Of course, I like the ring to it but it doesn’t exactly cover ALL of my bills. Again, I’m very thankful for everything. The people who have been my biggest supporters and anyone who has ever left a review, either good or bad, have all made this worthwhile.

I think that being out from under my contract now has allowed me more time to rediscover why I started writing in the first place. It helps me escape from the world around me and breathe life into someone else. People that become a part of my readers lives whether they want to believe it or not.

So, in honor of getting back to basics, I want to give away some stuff.

And by stuff, I really mean books.

1 Paperback copy of Minutes 2 Madness

1 Paperback copy of Compulsive

3 Digital downloads of A Pretty Girl, Her Tragedy, and a Chance Meeting

No purchase necessary. Winners and prize chosen at random.

 

Here’s Something a Little Lighter

I know since I’ve started writing again things just seem to be a little down. I think I’ve been legitimately downplaying how great a year I’ve had so far. So here’s to the lighter side of life. I’ll leave you with this and allow you to return to your regularly scheduled program.

So, tonight my nephew decided that my bed needed a makeover. He found some sheets, pillowcases and blankets and told me to stay in the living room while he made my bed into a surprise.

I obliged.

When he called me back into the room several minutes later I could only wonder what type of extreme mess he had made in my room and how long it would take him to clean. Luckily, there was no mess. What he presented me instead was a bed of varying patterns, styles and textures. [image error]

He was extremely proud of his masterpiece and judging from the look in his eyes as they widened with excitement, I became joyous as well.

This is where I admit that the bed was a complete eyesore. But when he began to describe what he’d created, I saw it his way. There were eight pillows on the bed, positioned along all the sides. His exact words were: “It’s a new bed. Now you can sleep on all sides!”

My nephew is six.

Staring at his creation and listening to the shrill of his voice just pulled at my heartstrings. I think the six year old in me was ready to build a fort out of all of the things he’d put on my bed. He was so pumped up about it, he wanted everyone to see it. So I had to take a video and agree to send it to his mom, grandmother, great grandmother and his dad, just in case they require his bed-making services in the future.

When we crawled into the bed together he looked me in the eyes and said: “You’ve never had your bed made up like this. You shouldn’t change it.”

I just can’t make any promises right now.

 

A Pretty Girl, Her Tragedy, and a Chance Meeting

[image error]Man, the title of the novel is long. But I don’t think I could have put it into any simpler words. These are the things you need to about my new book.

It’s Harsh Reality

I’m a realist. I can’t help it. Some say it’s because I’ve never been in love and I’m almost forced to believe them.

Well, there was that one time…

In it’s simplest context, it’s the Cinderella story. You know, there’s a pretty girl, she suffers some great deal of loss and oppression, then she meets a guy that takes her from rags to riches. So, that’s why you have a bare-bones title for a bare-bones story.

In reality, that’s exactly what the Cinderella (and any other fairy tale princess) story is about. My story is kind of like that. Kind of. [image error]

 

What you have is the dramatic retelling of a classic childhood story. Only this one is real life.

It’s Grim.

It’s unforgiving.

But mostly, it’s beautiful.

I’m Dealing with Two Characters Instead of One

I’ve never really dealt with children characters and I think that up to this point, I hadn’t really had enough experience with them. It wasn’t until I was in a position where I saw children day in and day out that I actually got a glimpse of what they’re like.

I mean, sure I have three nephews, but they barely count. It’s not until you are with children that you don’t have complete and dominate control over that you get to see them for what they truly are.

So, in my comeback novel I wanted to play with something different. A child. Innocent and unique in her own little way.

It’s Not Mystery/Thriller or Suspense!

For this fact my mother would be proud. Matter of fact, when she heard the news she actually called me to inquire about it.

My grandmother, who is kept in the loop about most of my books actually got the first three chapters leaked to her, and let’s just say she loves it.

[image error]Yes, I know she’s my grandmother. I also realize that her opinion may be biased. But I’m taking what I can get right now. During my M/T or S phase she refused to read any of them. This is actually the first things she’s read of mine since Everything That Glitters.

Which was my very first book.

I didn’t think that I would end up a mystery book writer, until that seemed to be the only books I was putting out for a while. It all started by wanting to try something new.

Well, here’s to new genre chapters.

Although I will admit that I won’t be hanging up my realistic edge and romanticizing everything, I will say that I am done with the Thriller or Suspense aspect.

My focus is organic relationships. Sure, some may argue that the reason people like to read is because they want to get away from reality. But, who’s to say that you can’t get swept up just as easily with something you can relate to.

Real life is all around you. Whether you choose to see it or not.

 

Second to None

Alright, so a few things are happening now. The first is that I’ll be releasing a new book soon (details to come) and the second thing is that I’ll be going back to work Monday.

Goodbye summer!

[image error]

This year, I’m excited that I’ll actually be inside of a classroom that has my name on the door all official-like. While I was still an Associate Teacher in my long-term assignment, my name was on the door with a sticky note. Seriously.

Anyways, it’s going to be different this year. More stable. More pay. More responsibility. I’m not going to complain because I signed up for this.

Man, things are really looking up career wise, and I owe so many of my blessings to God. Seriously. If not for him I would still be living out of my mothers room with barely enough work and gas money to function.

[image error]I have a story for that last part. But I think that’s going to be better served in another post. I already feel a tangent coming on.

Anyways, so here I am, 25, single and a teacher. The complete freedom of weekends, holidays and a full two months leave… with pay. I would venture to say that those are all good things.

Yet…

It’s two o’clock in the morning and I’m awake. Fact is, I can’t sleep. So much on my mind about my new job title and everything that means, as well as saying goodbye to Summer 16 and getting back into the swing of having a strict bedtime so that I can make it to work the next day. [image error]

I know right now that this is going to be the hardest part.

Still, there’s something else on my mind. Someone is more like it. The same depressing issue that I keep coming back to. It’s a strange thing though because I received a phone call around ten o’clock from my mother. She said something that didn’t exactly sound like it was coming from her, but more like someone was speaking to me through her.

I’ll admit that sounds a little weird.

Let’s just pretend that last part didn’t happen.

What she told me was about either addressing an issue head-on or letting it run it’s course. Either way there are going to be upsets. The thing is, I didn’t really process what she was trying to tell me until just now. I was lying in bed when it hit me: don’t allow the situation to run it’s course! In the end that option is going to do more harm than good.

I can see it all clearly. [image error]

Does it stop me from feeling the way I do? Not really. Does it prompt me to change? Absolutely!

I have worked VERY hard to get to the position I’m in now. I’ve overcame so much negativity about myself and my abilities to be treated like I’m not good enough. The only person who has the say-so in that department is me.

[image error]You know those moments when people make you feel like you’re the person they talk to when the person they REALLY want to talk to isn’t available?

Forget those moments.

Forget those people.

You are enough.

Once you realize within yourself that you have the power over your emotions the better off you’ll be. You are NOT second choice or second best.

People only have the power you give them. Right now, I’m choosing to take my power back.