Kate Larking's Blog: Anxiety Ink, page 75

My Last Words on NaNoWriMo 2013

My very last words –I promise! It’s finally December and I’m sure all non-participators are officially tired of hearing about word counts, character flaws, plot holes, and seeing NaNo hashtags, let alone the word “NaNo.” I’m sure my enthusiasm was cute and contagious after weeks 1 and 2, now I’m fairly certain most, if not all, of my Facebook friends and Twitter followers are as sick of my word count updates as they are of Movember’s ‘70s porn star staches.

Speaking of Movember, I’ve been lucky enough to be locked in my room for most of the month so I haven’t been overly subjected to said facial hair. Yay for small victories!

Thanks to my weekly progress reports (Kate is to blame!), I don’t need to list every practical thing I learned over the past month. But there is one lesson I wanted to share: I had no idea I was capable of writing so much in 15 days! Instead of wiring a little bit each day for 30 days, I scheduled myself 20 designated writing days at the start of NaNo, and I wrote on most of them. But seriously, I managed to write 50 779 NEW words of fiction in 15 of days! Sure, I’ve probably written that much in a month for school, but I still find this kind of incredible. Like, really incredible!

Before November 2013 I wasn’t completely convinced that I was capable of buckling down and producing the way I did. I managed to write three brand new stories in three different genres and one of them is a rough schematic of a novel or novella, and another is for an anthology I’ve been invited into with other awesome authors. Plus, I managed to buckle down and edit a story for a different anthology when I wasn’t NaNoing. These are huge deals! Huge milestones for the insecure fledgling novelist that I am! Talk about dream boosters.

I have NaNo to thank in small part for all of these things because without the challenge I don’t think I would have tried to push myself like this. And I don’t think I would have gotten my “novella” written and I’ve had that story in my head for a long time now. NaNo was an excellent pusher, and I’m grateful for it!

Except now I don’t have excuses. Uh oh.

Kidding! Mostly. December marks a lot of new for me: new job, new editing, new writing projects, new Anxiety Ink projects, which are hush hush for now, new balancing. I’m excited and nervous.

And that, along with four updates, sums up my very first National Novel Writing Month experience!

50779 / 50000 words. 102% done!

Sexual Violence in Literature: The Why, and Other Thoughts

Although sexual violence can be a difficult, uncomfortable, and sometimes controversial topic, it’s important to discuss, not only in general, but in relation to literature. Sexual violence, in many forms, comes up in a lot of books and stories I read. I’ve read about it from male and female perspectives, evolutionary perspectives, spoils of war perspectives, adult and child perspectives, and so on. What I’m interested in talking about today is not so much how to write sexual violence into a book but why you would want to and the purpose it serves.

It seems that in a lot of stories there is usually a female character that has had to overcome some form of sexual abuse. If you’ve ever read Nora Roberts or J.D. Robb you can see it’s a consistent topic for her. V.C. Andrews usually manages to work it into every book somehow. Sexual violence even comes up in Patricia Briggs’s Mercy Thompson series. It’s in most, if not all, genres, and targeted at anyone over 12. I won’t lie because that would be pointless, this trend used to really bother me. I rationalized to myself that I didn’t understand why these writers could only portray a woman’s strength through her overcoming a sexual attack. A lot of women are strong who have never been sexually abused. It irritated me to no end, and I walked away from stories that focused on this. I was so sick of them.

After learning more about women’s studies and feminism, my ignorance hit me full in the face, and I couldn’t believe that I was so clueless.

Writers like the ones I’ve already named, as well as Alice Sebold (The Lovely Bones) and Joyce Carol Oates (We Were the Mulvaneys), weren’t depicting the strength and perseverance of their female characters by having them overcome sexual violence. What their work mainly portrays is how prevalent sexual violence really is, to the degree that all of these women in literature are somehow personally touched by it. It’s a tragic and horrible truth but we live in a rape culture, one where women have to consciously worry about being attacked on a regular basis, where women have to think about what they wear, who they go out with, and how much they drink in case it makes them a target, and one in which it’s permissible to blame the victim because she didn’t see “the signs.” I say “she” not because rape doesn’t happen to men or boys, it does, but their numbers are overwhelmed by the amount of women and girls who experience sexual violence.

Essentially, these writers are holding a mirror up to society, and in some cases they’re sharing their own experiences or the experience of those close to them to do so. Writing is cathartic, after all. I’m not annoyed by sexual violence in literature any more, not when it’s done for this reason. I won’t get into the other side of it in this post, because I don’t want to stray into a gender split of rape representation right now.

Instead, I’ll tell you what I’m annoyed about now, and it ties directly to my epiphany. I realized, after some soul searching, that my biggest problem with sexual violence in literature was the fact that it made me so uncomfortable. My “apparently tough women have to get over abuse” theory was a bunch of crap I’d hidden behind. I was uncomfortable with these writers throwing sexual violence in my face because I had my own issues to deal with, issues with complacency, looking away, and blaming. Here are two of my personal examples:

My dad’s a carpenter and I’ve been working with him since I was little. When I was in my teens I worked with him at a company where we built concrete forms. Men’s work comes to mind, right? Until then, until I was surrounded by men from varying backgrounds, I didn’t realize that carpentry and construction were so gendered. My dad has never in the course of my life told me I couldn’t do something just because I have a vagina. For the record, none of these men did either, but there were other more subtle things I had to contend with. Like the guys who followed me around and flirted ceaselessly and in some cases quite aggressively (I was 15, uncomfortable, quiet, and very uninterested).

Some days it was stifling and I just didn’t want to go to work. I wish I could say that my first experience with sexual harassment was my last, but I can’t. It took me days to tell my friends about the worst incident. When I finally did they were appropriately appalled and after some sympathy and a round of creepy old man jokes, I felt better. I moved past it but have never forgotten it.

Then, a few months ago, I went out with a group of friends to a club to see some singers we really like. Near the end of the night, after the large crowd had been drinking for about three hours, my best friend and I ended up somewhat separated from the others in our group. We weren’t worried; we go out just the two of us all the time with no problems. At one point, out of the corner of my eye I noticed some guys pointing in our general direction. I didn’t care so I didn’t worry about it. Eventually, they came around behind us, separated us from the two guys and other girl in our group who had managed to get relatively near us, and without a word commenced what can only be called dry-humping our backsides. It wasn’t grinding, it was too uncoordinated for that.

We moved forward, almost to the point we were plastered to the girls in front of us; we made ourselves as small as possible; I turned sideways and unsubtly shoved my shoulder into the chest of the guy bumping against me while asking his friend what they thought they were doing. It didn’t even faze them. They couldn’t hear me over the music and their own drunkenness. In order to get them to stop, I had to spin around, yell, and point at the guy touching me to go in front of me. One of the guys with us pretended to be my friend’s date and got him to stop touching her. He had to stand directly behind us for the rest of the show so we could relax and dance. How is that fair?

I got mixed reactions when I told others about that incident. Some laughed, some were outraged for me, and others were blasé and uncomfortable with the fact that I was so mad about it. Most thought I should be flattered or amused. They were just some harmless drunk guys, really. I ask, why shouldn’t I be mad? They invaded our privacy, touched us without consent, and nearly ruined our night. What if they pushed boundaries further? What if we’d been alone in a dark room and that happened? Would it be funny then?

That’s how prevalent sexual violence is in our society that I can easily come up with two examples out of many from my own life. And don’t for one second believe that sexual harassment isn’t sexual violence. It’s also so acceptable I’m supposed to just laugh it off as drunken buffoonery in most cases.

The moral of the story here? Horrible things happen in our world –write about them. Don’t let discomfort stop you. Don’t let complacency in the people around you stop you. Hold a mirror up and show people the ugly, because seriously, sometimes they need that mirror to see it. That’s what needs to be done if it’s going to change.

 

This post inspired by: “Laughing It Off” by Katherine Leyton, available here.

NaNo Progress Report: Week 4

I loathe admitting the truth about my horrific NaNo “week.” I’ve been editing since the weekend and today is the first time I opened my NaNo document and added words. At the time of posting this update, I’ve written 614 new words of fiction. It is definitely not how I thought this week would go.

I’m not even going to waste my time comparing week 4 to any other week. Oy. My only consolation is my story under edits just needs a couple of read throughs before submission. And I’ve had a few new story ideas spark. Oh, and I hit my goal!!! Exceeded it actually, not by much, but still! You can see that below in a bit.

Overall, this was an unbalanced gong show week of late nights, late “mornings,” small windows of working time, and too much on my to do list. At least my treadmill saw regular use, right? Yeah, NaNo doesn’t care about that. Darn. I’m still hoping to finish my current NaNo story by the end of Saturday and up my word count . That’s the new goal.

Here’s my Week 4 progress:

50038 / 50000 words. 100% done!

Lessons learned during week 3:

Sleep is important -d’uh
Conflict is necessary

Fun thing that happened: I got to hang out in Starbucks for 5 hours today. It wasn’t exactly fun for me but you might find it amusing. I got a fair amount done, at least!

We’re almost there!

NaNoWriMo Progress Post 4 – Kate

Are you ready for it? NaNo Update of DOOM.

Progress as of Wednesday Night

32816 / 50000 words. 66% done!

If writing daily at an even pace, I am massively behind schedule (including Nov 27th): 1666.7*27 = 45001 words. Therefore, 18K-ish words behind schedule.

Source: Nownovel.com

The good:

I got a great idea for one of my oldest projects and I started writing it.

The bad:

I’ve already gone back and thought of three scene changes and two different perspectives things need. So everything I wrote needs to be rewritten or unwritten at some point.

The ugly:

My inner heckler is going to town on this rough draft, telling me how poorly things are being structured and written. I’m pushing passed it as best I can but it feels like the story isn’t as immediate as it needs to be and my character’s perspective, through strategically focused, is too haughty and far from the narrative to be engaging.

In the end, I have decided that if I make it to 35K, I will consider NaNo successful in getting the writing mojo going.

The one thing I really dislike about NaNo is that if one day is messed up, that failure to meet word count is compounded into the next day. It does a real number on me, especially when mixed with my depression and general anxiety. I will be glad when the month is over and I can concentrate instead on trying to find an achievable word count per day that is more possible with my day job.

NaNoWriMo Progress Post 4 – M. J.

I usually like to wait until I’ve had a chance to write more — maybe see if I can make the next chapter — before I post these progress reports, but I’ll be away most of the afternoon and evening for the Annual Day of Gluttony.

Speaking of which, happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the States!

Life-related stress has made the story slow going this past week. I’m a little embarrassed that my final NaNo progress report is so lacking. But! I have a new day job. The change has been long overdue, but I haven’t worked full time in almost four years and am a little anxious about how successfully I’ll juggle the day job/writing life balance.

I’m behind where I should be, if this novel is to be finished by the end of the year, but it’s still perfectly doable!

 

 

12 / 30 chapters. 40% done!

Fantastic Podcast Mania!

I love podcasts. I’m not the most reliable listener to them but I love them. When I’m taking a break at work, going for a walk, knitting/crocheting, on the bus, anywhere. Podcasts were my gateway drug to audiobooks.

Source: principalj.net

In this post, I want to outline the best writing podcasts I have experienced. If you have any to add to this listing, please feel free to amend this list in the comment section.

Writing Excuses – Short and sweet, 15 minute episodes that can fit into any timeframe hitting solid notes about all the mean questions in writing. My favourite episodes are generally the microcasting episodes where they hit a lot of topics in a short amount of time. Concise, informative, and a great appetizer before a writing session. The only downside is that downloading a season is like opening a bag of Skittles – There really is no such thing as portion control and you pick out the ones you like the best first but, in reality, you eat them all anyway so who’s kidding who here?
SF Signal – Podcast with a great genre focus and lengthy interviews with all your favourite authors and publishers. The quality varies based on the travelling component of the interviews but the breadth and depth make up for that.
Odyssey Writing Workshop – This podcast transports you to the classrooms of Odyssey. The short but information-filled episodes are fantastic and make you want to attend this workshop with an overwhelming urgency. Great quality but I wish it published more!
When Words Collide – A newer podcast that publishes panels from the When Words Collide conference in Calgary, AB. It’s local for me, which I love, but the quality of content is great. The programming at the conference is very dense and it is almost impossible to attend all you want to so these podcasts are great recovery episodes and also build anticipation to the next conference.
I Should Be Writing – I was a latecomer to this podcast. While I find some episodes a little lackluster, I do find myself sympathetic and empathetic with Lafferty’s overall writing process, full of struggles and realizations. It’s the most human podcast you will find on writing and process.

Below are some podcasts that I infrequently listen to or are on my to-be-tried list. I find looking for writing and genre podcasts really difficult so here are some others that I occasionally listen to:

SF Squeecast
Hide and Create
Narrative Breakdown
Tea & jeopardy
Sword & Laser
Lightspeed
The Creative Penn

Confession: I Am A Sexist Reader

It wasn’t until college that I began to see articles bemoaning a lack of female authors in fantasy and science fiction.

My reaction: . . . Really?

This was around the same time I had begun to realize I gravitated towards female authors and female main characters. To this day, I have never found myself with a dearth of authors and stories to read. When I think back on the authors I read as a child, the names I remember are primarily women.

I discovered Tamora Pierce by the time I was seven and have read the Song of the Lioness quartet at least once a year since. Within a year or two of that, I was reading Andre Norton, Anne McCaffrey, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Mercedes Lackey, Patricia Wrede, and Robin McKinley. In middle school, I discovered Kristen Britain’s Green Rider and Patricia McKillip’s Riddlemaster of Hed. Rhiannon Lassiter’s Hex series introduced me to cyber punk.

I was late to the Harry Potter bandwagon, mostly because I wasn’t interested in reading about a boy.

Then came Jane Lindskold, Anne Bishop, Octavia Butler . . . I’ll spare you an even longer list.

But if you asked me to name a male author I read with equal avidity, I would come up with far fewer. Lloyd Alexander. Garth Nix. R. A. Salvatore. Until my junior year of college, I didn’t even read Neil Gaiman.

So the idea that male far outnumbered female authors seemed absurd. And if that was true at the time, ten years has (mostly) changed that.

Over the last few months, I keep stumbling across articles that give ratios of male to female authors currently publishing, and the numbers tend to be fairly balanced. The problem for female authors is that their books toward fewer reviews, which means less visibility, fewer sales, and fewer opportunities to promote their work.

There are so many amazing female authors out there, but it’s easy not to see them. I hope that within another ten years, this will change for the better.

Just some food for thought.

A piece at The Mary Sue about the discrepancy between gender parity in publishing vs. reviews.
A piece at Tor.com about making a conscious decision to read more female authors & a follow-up.
When publishers are often the ones blamed for gender inequality, one UK editor weighs in.
This article by Sarah Rees Brennan regarding sexism and self-promotion is an amazing and important read.

Romance: Formulas, Models, & Lists

Wonder of wonders, I have somehow turned into the group’s authority on the Romance genre. Hence, Kate periodically sends me articles about Romance in order to send me into a riot. Why? One, she’s sometimes as easily amused as I am. Two, she likes when I get on my English high horse. And three, other topics that usually get my goat aren’t always readily available.

Did you ask how I became the authority? Well, Romance is my number one reading genre and has been for many years. I don’t think there’s a subgenre I haven’t delved into –please test me if you I’m wrong, I’d love some new reading material! And now I have the opportunity to finally write in the genre, so I’m studying it from that perspective as well. No, I’m not an “expert” by any means, but I’m comfortable calling myself an authority as I think I’ve got a strong understanding of the hunks and beauties that make their lives in Romance.

Today I’m responding to two articles because I think my reactions to them overlap nicely and I disagreed largely with both of them (at least the core of what they’re attempting to do anyway). On to the first!

This article from the Huffington Post provides an author’s opinion about what makes a great romance. I’m taking the article down to the bare bones but this is the basic formula provided:

 tension + story – too much story + sex (which the author of the article backtracks to mean the sexual tension but doesn’t say so) + sensitivity to modern readers (targeted at historical romances for some reason).

The article was originally sparked by a bumper sticker the author encountered: ‘“Your body is a temple. Mine is an amusement park.” … [W]hat makes a truly fantastic romance? Do readers want to gain entrance to a temple or buy a ticket to an amusement park?’ She’s on the temple side. I, however, am on the amusement park side because if I am not entertained I’m leaving. Simple as that. That’s not to say that I’m getting on any shoddily constructed rides either. Just because romance has been snubbed by the literary community at large doesn’t mean I don’t expect great work from romance authors, or myself.

Before I can move on I have to bring in article two or my words are not going to make any sense and I’m going to end up repeating myself. This article is also from the Huffington Post and written by a romance author, but it concerns itself with alpha males. Boy is this a favourite topic of mine!

I think there is a misconception of the ideal alpha male (and female). For me, there’s nothing more enticing than a good alpha character I can sink my teeth into –only figuratively, sadly. I think the two main characters of a Romance are the most important part, as are their back-stories and chemistry. I also think that they both need to be alphas, nothing annoys me more than a guy or gal who fall in love with a strong character but they have no back bone of their own. Yawn. Anyway, the rest of the story is merely a vehicle that transports these necessary elements. Sure, the really fantastic, timeless romances have amazing plotlines, side characters, and setting (story), but they also have stellar fundamentals (character).

You know that adage that says: “character is story?” –Yeah, note that down.

I really do think character is everything when it comes to story, especially Romance. In my experience, readers are more likely to remember people than anything else years down the line. Thinking about all my favourite romantic characters out there, I think of these characteristics when I imagine them:

considerate,
knowledgeable,
leader when needed,
strong enough to step back,
teacher,
protective,
not emotionally empty or stilted –at least by the end,
fun and funny –they have to be with their special someone if they’re not with anyone else

Of course, there are negatives to correlate:

stubborn,
know-it-all,
overprotective,
obnoxious,
a-type personality,
deaf (not literally),
needs to make mistakes to learn a lesson

This is not an extensive list or a list of the only characteristics an alpha does or should have, and it’s perfectly ok for a guy or gal to grow into, or out of, these traits. Remember, Romance is fantasy at its core. I can take a lot more macho/testosterone BS from a character than I can from men or women in real life, so the stakes can always be amped. This list is just to get character ideas flowing.

On this note, mainly in regard to article two: DO NOT MAKE AN ALPHA LIKE HEATHCLIFF –Heathcliff is not romantic or sweet or tragic or waiting to be saved. Talk about him with any Victorian Scholars you know, I have, and he’s monstrous and breaks every mold you try to put him in. Brontë didn’t write him to be sympathized with, he’s a monstrous creation. If you leave your hero or heroine with a Heathcliff in the end it would be merciful if one of them died. Take Cathy for example, the ultimate brat and twisted companion for Heathcliff, who died before they could ever really be together in life. They deserved each other, and not for good reasons! Wuthering Heights is one of my favourite books, but I don’t reread it for the titillating love story between Heathcliff and Cathy. Yikes.

One of my main rules for writing is read what you want to write. No one is John Keats; if you get that reference I applaud your English Lit knowledge! Keats isolated himself from all the writing of his time so that his own work would remain pure –don’t do that. Please please please don’t do that.

Why is my first urban fantasy novel taking me so long to write? I’m trying to read as many of the names in the genre as I can get my hands on. It’s part of the research. How does this point tie into the beginning of my post? I think that, as a writer, you’re more than capable of compiling “a formula” that works for you. And, as a reader, you’re more than capable of compiling a list of your Top 10 favourite books in whatever genre you want to write and using those as models. You can have really experienced or respected people help you, but don’t limit yourself. And I recommend the list of models over any formula.

Ultimately, there is no how-to to tell you a failsafe way to write, regardless of what you write. Write what you want and see where it takes you. Trust your instincts. But if you want a romance formula from me (since I pulled apart other people’s I suppose it’s only fair I open myself up to criticism as well), here:

tension + plot + chemistry + high stakes + romance/sex + characters.

NaNoWriMo Progress Post 3 – M. J.

This has been a week of stress and surprises. I still made decent progress on the story, despite life not allowing me time to breathe, much less focus on figuring out how to orchestrate my characters.

Meanwhile, I am anticipating feedback on my completed novel and becoming more and more convinced it is a horrible, ignorant piece of drivel that should never be inflicted on the world. This, of course, is entirely counterproductive to my ability to write anything.

I am so glad I have no expectation to have this novel finished by the end of the month. So glad.

 

 

11 / 30 chapters. 37% done!

NaNo Progress Report: Week 2.8

I shall commence my progress report by admitting that I took two full days off NaNo *cue dramatic music*. I had a huge cushion after I finished story #2 and I desperately needed the time to edit a piece I’ve been working on the past few months. So before you boo me, know I was writing, just not NaNoing. Truce?

Week 3 is not going as awesome as week 2 did. Not by a long shot. I was excited to be done story #2 but then I was hit with the realization that I had to START something. I had grown so comfortable approaching story #2’s characters and settings after spending so much time there that I felt like I’d come up to a brick wall I couldn’t climb at this point. I decided on my next project: I was invited to participate in an anthology (yay!), so thankfully I had a theme to spark my imagination. But I didn’t give myself enough mulling time, so my word count this week has definitely suffered. My sprints are painful once again and I’m totally exhausted by the end of writing time.

No, I’m not writing 4k again, I’m tired out by the need to think and write at the same time. I’m exploring and planning as I go instead of doing it ahead of time so I can just let myself write. It’s hard!! The story is getting rambly and I know when I come back to it it’s going to need some serious culling. I kind of like it so far though, I love the idea, so I just need the story to do my brain child justice. Easier said than done.

Life balance is still kind of happening but it was a busy week. A few things took a back seat and I shoved a few things forward. Overall I’m managing ok though, which is a relief. I’m happy I’m almost at my goal, and I’m debating if I want to write past it. I know I’ll finish story #3 before the end of NaNo, which should get me a little over the 50k mark. I’m just not sure if that will take me to my final designated writing day or whether I want to start another piece in order to keep going during November. I’m sure I’m going to be yelled at about that! I’m prepared!

Here’s my Week 3 progress:

46888 / 50000 words. 94% done!

Lessons learned during week 3:

A solid cushion is a wonderful thing for peace of mind, I’m glad I wrote a lot when I was really feeling it because this week is proving difficult
I really have to think about a story before I can write it because full-out pantsing sucks; my subconscious has more patience than I do sitting in front of the screen trying to figure things out
Breaking the no research rule is ok sporadically, especially when I can’t find good character names; I may need to break this rule again

Fun thing that happened: it was a short week for me and my writing week isn’t over yet -hence the 2.8- and I can’t think of one fun thing that happened. Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m dragging?

Take care and happy writing!