Roxanne M. Dawson's Blog, page 2

Rather Close to a Mental Breakdown

A few days ago, curtsy of this guy: danisnotonfire, I learned that it’s a good thing that you enter a life crisis early in your life in order for you not to do so in the future when you are too old to do anything, too true, but one of my parents doesn’t think so. I admit I don’t go to college, I don’t go to work and I barely do any house work, but I try in my own way to decide what I want to do with my life and it’s hard and moving slow.

This year I finally came to a conclusion, going to college and not just any college, but overseas in the UK, my dream since I was in elementary. But this decision came at the worst time possible, when my family was finally hit by the effects of the global crisis and we have no money, aka I have to somehow get boarding and food money from somewhere.

My dad recently had surgery and he has no job anymore. Today he pretty much accused me how he had to go to work early just to make some money so I can fulfill my dream. Accused is a little much, but the way he said it was like he truly wanted to help me, he really did, but he was also utterly frustrated by his decision.

I always urged my parents into opening an account for me. You see, when I wasn’t legally considered an adult they never took my opinion into consideration and since I am now, for a while even, an adult in the eyes of the law, I have to bear every burden existent an adult should bear.  When I told them they should open a bank account for me and pour a little bit of money each month there, they said they’ll think about it but never did and we we’re doing very well financially back then.

Now all they can say each day is how I should get a job already and I tried, I really did, but I had no luck. In about a week I have to go do some inventory work and I’ll stay all night, I pray it’ll go well since if I make any mistakes I’ll be thrown out and they’ll give me no money whatsoever. But I want to try with the job again as soon as I finish with that, but mom and dad started a daily thing of reminding me how much of a failure I am and how all those around me are either going to college and have a part-time job at the same time or work full-time somewhere, I do neither so I have to do something about it!

I did, I got accepted into one of my choice colleges in the UK, my mom whooped for a minute or two (she doesn’t like the idea at all of me leaving so the enthusiasm isn’t all that much there) and my dad started worrying about how they’ll be able to support me through my years there since we have no money.

It’s my problem and I told them that. Support financially wise from them would be a blessing of course and a big help, but they’re not obligated to do so. They had their changes many times and they blew it and now they think of helping me? It was ok if they didn’t stress about how much of a pain it is (not in words but in attitude). So I simply told them that if I have no money to go until the due date then fine I’ll just go to a choice college here and maybe after a few years of working I’ll move permanently overseas. They still didn’t get it.

Each and every day it’s the same thing. Get a job, get a job! You’re doing nothing, but being a lazy bum! You should already know what to do with your life! A life crisis, what’s that? You’re too young for such a thing! Do something about your life instead of sitting on your ass doing nothing about it!

Oh, really? Well you know what dear parents? I am! I’m trying the best I can, you don’t have to remind me every day what a failure and a schmuck I am! I made a decision at a bad time, I know, but you did nothing to help until now and now since you see yourself backed in a corner you want me to feel horrible about it? Maybe that’s not your intention, but please back off a little, I’m telling you that every day and you don’t listen!

I wish to go to college overseas and financially it’s impossible, I know, but I still want to go so I’ll try all I can, but please be my back up not my irritating neighborhood grandma who makes me experience a mental breakdown on a frequent basis since I’m not good enough. I know what I am doing, at least I think so, but if I mess up, oh well its mistake to make. I just want you to be my friends and understand even if a little bit. So please help me with a good word and a bit of advice and don’t nag me daily, I already have enough problems without you having to remind me.

And if you have kids or if you are someone going through the same thing or a similar situation as mine, help your children lighten their emotional burden and you other guys don’t give up no matter what. Your yellow brick road is somewhere behind a door, all you have to do is find it. If your parents don’t get it, then just do what you have to do and make sure they don’t bring your spirits down.

It’s good if they’re there for you without putting more stress on your persona but if not, try to make them understand, and if even that doesn’t work, then plan b, aka try to make your dreams come true however you think possible. You’ll need help of course and even if my parents pressure me more than anything else lately, I still have friends to lament to and I’m still working as hard as I can, so you do too. As long as you work towards it, whatever you receive a good response or not, at least you worked for it and you’ll always know you tried and that’s actually more worthwhile than anything.

Sorry for lamenting so much and thank you for those who read the whole thing, I really needed to put this in written form, it helped lighten up my soul somehow. Cheers and good luck for those that are trying to make their lives worth it. I’m supporting you from behind since I’m trying to do the same thing. Let’s try to make our dreams come true.

Do your best and go for it!

The Hair in the Pizza Situation

There are some situations from time to time when you want to report someone and get them fired, but sometimes the situation doesn’t seem as grave or you feel sorry for that person and want to keep your mouth shut. We’ll I’d lived through those kinds of situation a 100 times over and I never did anything to let someone know about it. Not that I didn’t want to, I’m just a wuss, sorry.

This happened to me one time during an outing with a girl friend. We went to the town center, we laughed, we joked, we walked, we got a Boba (first time I ever tried it and loved it ever since) and afterwards we got hungry.

Since, we’re pretty young with no job (I tried mom, I really tried, not my fault no one calls me back), we obviously don’t have much money. Restaurants are out of the question; all that’s left is fast food. So we got thinking: McDonalds? No, I hate their food, yuck! KFC? Too much to walk, we already did that for 3 hours. Spring Time? Too noisy, if you find a place to sit. Thus in the end we decided on pizza, more specifically Pizza Hut.

Some of you might know these places, some of you don’t (McDonalds no comment), but they’re all fast food joints, obviously. Pizza Hut is a little bit pricey for our budget, but if we got something large and split the bill in half there were no worries and I have to admit, I had a wonderful time. Adore my friends to bits, you little monkeys!

And anyway, has anyone ever experienced that moment when everything was perfect? You were relaxed, having fun, on top of the clouds and nothing could ruin your day until it all came crashing down just like that due to one stupid mistake. We’ll that’s what happened to me.

Maybe I’m exaggerating, maybe it’s not that grave a thing, but to me it was, since I’m a germ freak when it comes to my food. There was hair on my pizza slice. No biggie if it was mine of my gal pal’s, but it was not!

Hair length was different, ours is fairly long, this one was rather short and the color was a totally different shade, so it was obviously NOT ours. It ruined that slice for me and the entire pizza of the place. Which is a pity since their pizza omg heavenly delicious.

If that were to happen to you guys, would you just brush the whole situation off and just continue munching? Just curious.

Perhaps I’m at fault, it possibly was just a nasty coincidence or maybe I should just forget about the whole thing. But I can’t! And even so visits to that place will happen again someday in the future. I hope…

Cooking Plain and Simple: Fried Champignons

This is mainly dedicated for those that love mushrooms in general (or hate them even), as well as for those that don’t have the time to cook. This is a simple, fast and delicious way of making something I personally hated before, but due to this recipe I love them.

If you’re expecting some fast and fancy way of making a meal, sorry but this is not it, this is commoner’s food, scrumptious commoner’s food. Basically all you need is a frying pan, any type of cooking oil (I used sesame oil or sunflower oil, but any can do), champignons mushrooms (if you don’t have any, feel free to use any other type, can’t guarantee the taste though) and some salt.

It’ll take you a maximum of 10 minutes. Use as many mushrooms as you want. So let’s begin. First you have to wash the mushrooms, then pick the stems off (keep them, they’re the most delicious part) and cut the mushrooms and the removed stems in half.

Pour the oil into the pan (as much oil as you want 2-3 spoons, remember we’re not deep frying them) and after heating it for a minute or 2, put the mushrooms in and pour a small pinch of salt on top.

It won’t take long until they start darkening a little (they don’t have to turn black or brown, a bit of a golden color with a bit of grey on the edges and you’re good to go). As soon as you deem them as done, put them on a plate, pour another pinch of salt on top and you’re done.

It might not be the healthiest way to cook mushrooms, but it’s easy and fast and there is also a plus to it, the taste. If you’re a mother and your little cub doesn’t eat mushrooms, make him try these at least once. As I said before I hated, loathed, mushrooms to a very high degree, but my mom made these for me and now I adore mushrooms, so it’s worth a try, don’t you think?

Bone appétit!

UFO’s and Cinema Blackouts (Part 2)

Another strange occurrence happened when I was out at a café with two friends. Unlike the other thing where we laughed our pants off, this merely annoyed the heck out of us. Don’t know what happened that day, but I think the café’s generator had a really funky day since the light turned off and on every 5 minutes.

Wouldn’t have been as maddening if it didn’t stop while we were talking and it was so dark in there we could barely see each other when we talked, it ruined the mood of each conversation we started. And we had to do that every 5 minutes. It happened so often that one of the girls with me suggested it was an alien’s fault. That stumped me. Really??? I didn’t know we would be attacked and maybe kidnapped by strange little green creatures soon.

But, hey! It’s a reasonable explanation, even if I don’t want to admit it. At least it earned itself a laugh. Next time I visit that café, I’ll be sure to be near the door, in case it’s actually a UFO and we are in the process of being kidnapped. As soon as it gets off the ground, I’ll throw myself out the door or the closest window. Better severally injured than at the mercy of outer space creatures. Cheers!

How the Holidays Affect Our Waistline

Diets are important, if not to make one self feel better about him/her, then for health reasons. This is an important fact, overused true, but worth mentioning again and again.

My diet went great. I went down 14 pounds and I felt amazing. My goal of course was to lose about ten pounds more (in total 24) before I felt satisfied, but then the holidays came. Don’t know how it’s done food wise in other countries, but I know how it’s done in mine – or at least my mom’s kitchen and all I can say is fat fat fat.

You can’t exactly keep a diet during the holiday, especially if someone cooks for you or if you cook for someone else. In the first case, the person who cooks for you would be extremely unwilling to change your meal, during the special times, just so you could get a smaller intake of calories. It’s Christmas, there is no low fat (calories) delicacies for Christmas!! Right…

In the second case, I think you’d be unwilling to cook another batch for yourself, too much work and the person you cook for would most likely not be very fond of the idea of diet foods. The holidays are an excuse to stuff yourself like a pig. Even if you want to keep a diet, the temptation is just too grand and you eventually give in. I gained back 6 pounds in the first week. TT.TT

I’m crying and bashing myself every day because of it, but the next day I repeat the same mistake, just because I can’t keep up with their appeal and I can’t exactly cook for myself (nothing else in the house except the ingredients for my mom’s cooking and I’m broke, so I can’t buy any new ones).

Let me introduce you a bit into the Christmas courses we prepare. These are traditional foods – you could call them – that differ in preparation and ingredients from family to family.

First thing that I must mention, as every time I called my friends and asked what they were doing they were telling me they currently eating it and thus making sure those 10 pounds were in the process of being gained, aka pork barbecue. This is something I myself ate about twice a day, but it still scared the heck out of me every time I called a friend and they always never did anything else except eat and they always ate pork barbecue.

The second thing is what we call force-meat rolls in cabbage leaves or vine leaves, whichever you prefer. This recipe I saw that it’s also prepared in Greece, but they use rice instead of meat, a healthier choice indeed. Thus you can see our desperate fight with fat and cholesterol.

Next course is sour soup or borsch, also prepared in Russia, though I have no idea how it actually tastes or is prepared in their country. I particularly hate sour soup and not because it’s not good or anything, I don’t hate it per say, just have a really really deep dislike for it. You would too, if your mom prepared it every two week, sometimes even once or twice a week, it’s her favorite food and since she prepares the food sometimes, she does this, yuck.

This is supposed to be actually very healthy, but it’s filled with vegetables of all kinds, also depends on the household, mine uses every vegetable existent in our fridge, also a point I dislike. If my mom could actually use a watermelon or anything similar in it, she would, a major scary thing to think about. Never heard of watermelon soup before, though I did find it as I searched it on Google and sorry if I’m a little biased, but I don’t want to try it, ever.

I’ll introduce two more things we eat for Christmas and New Year, without considering all the sweets, wine, champagne, torte and etc.

All these above we usually eat all the period before and after Christmas, our menu changing on New Years, but there is a special dessert we eat, tam ta tam: sponge cake, but not just any sponge cake. Our sponge cake is very soft inside and it either has cocoa and nuts in it or rahat/lokum, which if you translate in Romanian, it’s just another way of ours of saying s**t.

The last and final thing that we serve on our table for New Years is boeuf salad, made of boiled chicken breast, homemade mayonnaise, gherkins, potato, black olives and boiled egg whites. I already gained 8 pounds back as I finished this article, two more as opposed to when I started writing this. I love the holidays, but sometimes I hate them.

Everyone struggles with pounds when the holidays end and now we must go back to fighting pounds off. I finished this and introduced you a little bit into Romanian cuisine, so if you want, please tell me a little bit about your holiday’s traditional menu. I’m signing off and giving a great big *Good Luck!* to those that start their diet anew. Let’s all hope that we get our waistlines back to their original sizes and even less. Bye Bye!

Stuff yourself like a pig with pig to become a pig. – My unintentional Christmas motto T.T

UFO’s and Cinema Blackouts (Part 1)

Don’t even know what the whole point of blackouts or flashing lights is, but when it happens to you, it’s either pretty annoying or extremely funny.

The funniest thing that happened to me was a few months ago when I went to the cinema to watch the new movie that came out, The Avengers. I went with an old friend and a couple of new ones, curtsey of her. Thing is that the cinema we went to was a very old cinema that lasted for about 40 years. The screen was new though, so there were no complaints. But none of us was expecting what happened in the middle of the film.

We were all “enjoying” the movie; you must admit it was pretty boring in the beginning, and discussing all the mythical errors in it and obviously having a laugh at it, when it happened. The lights were turned back on just as the screen turned blank. It was so sudden we were startled and started asking ourselves what was happening.

We never got our answer, but one of the girls with us went to the toilet since 100% the movie wouldn’t turn back on till she came back, it did and she missed 10 minutes of it. We were talking about all kinds of things and wondering if we should just ask for our money back when, as sudden as the blackout, the screen turned back on where it left off and the lights turned off. We were laughing all the way out off the cinema. Something like that never happened to me, it was so funny!

Passage into Adulthood – the painful way

I read a little while ago – while doing some research on the subjects of teeth and gums – that ones wisdom teeth come out when a pubescent child makes his final and official passage into adulthood.

I never knew of this until now, the news is still fresh in my mind, days old in fact, but somehow, sadly, puberty is officially done with me and I can be called an adult (body and hormone wise at least). That is all in fact nice and dandy.

No problem except I’ve always dreaded adulthood, problems and responsibilities were never my thing – though I’ve to see them for more than a year now and I must say I’m not impressed. Though that is not all there is to the so called adult stage of anyone life, so I’m pretty content for the moment and just thinking of the future makes me a little bit giddy, so it’s not all that bad, but back to the subject of wisdom teeth.

I knew that one of my wisdom teeth was supposed to pop out any moment now. I had radiographies done on a regular basis of my teeth, since I had, still do, various problems, thus I knew that the little buggers were hiding within my gums for about two or three years now, giving the usual whack of – manageable – pain. My dentist even confirmed that I had just one more layer before one of them was officially born and guess what? A month later I gave birth to a wisdom tooth, at least a small dent of one. If you don’t pull the gum a bit you won’t even notice it.

From what I know of them, they grow over a long period of time and I understood that. It takes a long time, they are situated in an uncomfortable place, and they announce that you’re an adult similarly to the snowdrops that make known the first day of spring. What I didn’t know, or at least have a deeper understanding of, was how much it would hurt.

The place where it is growing right now has been hurting like a bitch for four days, with no sign of stopping. Also another one of them gave a rather painful jolt (for two days now) that it’s awake, but not quite ready to party yet, right above the one that’s hurting the hell out of me. Imagine one part of my face is fine and the other one throbbing similar to my heart beats, in agony of course. Without pain I can live, without heart beats, ummm…not so much.

Just thinking that I have a long way to go until they actually pop all out, officially ending the torture has me screaming in frustration and imagine that I still have one more baby that has been sleeping peacefully till now – the fourth still hasn’t been conceived yet, it seems, sigh –, when he gets his tummy aches and gets frustrated and bored, he’ll think “hmm, what should I do to bring a little more joy in mommy’s world?” and the response will be, of course, “that’s right, I should wake up and give her my attention.” All I can ask of my little pretties now is to grow up mega fast for mommy safely at the same time of course.

The complication that involves all that is related to wisdom teeth in general scares me, so all I can do is hope and pray.

Thus for all of those that read this post and suffer through the same pain I am right now, I encourage you *Fighting!* and wish to remind you that you are now officially an adult, thus if you wanted a reason to party like you did when you turned 18 (20-21 in other countries, I think?) you can do so.

So go party like crazy and have a good time. Good luck and have fun!! ^_^

Fin

Mobile Phone Subscription – Hatred gone right!

I hate how so many mobile phone companies think they can just fool us into given up our money. In my country phone companies sell subscriptions where at a cost a person gets a number of minutes to converse. Maybe it’s like that all over the globe, I have no idea, but the ones in my country use these contracted subscription to fool us into getting more money out of us. When we find that certain glitch in the contract and we want out, guess what, we can’t!!! Even if we wait the two year period to be able to dissolve it, at the end we find out that it has been extended under an idiotic excuse. Sometimes, for different reasons, you get fidelity points which you can use at their store, but again warning, if you use them the bastards will prolong your contract for no reason at all.

If you, let’s say, don’t get your contract prolonged since you didn’t get caught by their bait they call you over and inform you of a great new subscription that will be even better than the one you have. My dad fell in and he got the family subscription aka 4 phones linked together, that actually has 4 different subscriptions in one, but pay the same bill and that means dad. I wouldn’t be so mad if he hadn’t taken my own subscription and added it to this stupidity.

Before I paid 11$ for 800 minutes within the same line and 125 min outside it plus 500 messages, I was in heaven! Now I have 1000 minutes within the 3 other subs. (aka mom, dad and my aunt, really??) and only 25 minutes outside it, no messages. Whatever I do outside this I have to pay supplementary. The so called lady lured my daddy by saying my subscription will remain the same. Righhhttt…. Only the price remained the same, we still pay 11$ for it, but about 11$ more supplementary. So if we calculate, it’s 11$ me+ another 11$ me + 5$ my mom +4$ my dad and another 6$ my aunt and it comes down to…ding ding ding!…37$!!!!! a month!! Before we only paid 15$! And again, guess what, the contract was prolonged for another 2 years!!Thank you dad for being so gullible and damn you Mobile Phone Company for your money grabbing habits!

The Friendship Pact!

When you transcend from teenager to adult you start to notice things, like the changes in yourself. You’re not as daring anymore or you don’t read as much or you party crazily all the time and things like that. When I was in high school I was this daring girl that said anything and everything she had on her mind. When she didn’t like someone or what someone did she said it, even if she kinda insulted the person by opening her mouth. Before I was the fearless bitch. A title I adore, because it means I’m honest with people, but now I’m the sweet person that always has a nice thing to say, no matter what my thoughts are and I just realized this a little while ago. I hate it. After that I started noticing other changes in myself (patience that I didn’t have before is a plus, but still) and while I like some, I hate most of them. I became this restrained person that follows the rules and doesn’t really enjoy life all that much anymore.

So this post is a dedication to my friend, you know who you are. Today, one of my two best friends in the world, (I’d die without them, luv u two bitches to bits!!) told me how she wanted to be the skater girl that left you think wtf? and not the pretty girl that follows the rules. She wanted to go back to being the dorky rocker, so I proposed a pact between us aka to become who we want to become and make our dreams come true no matter the obstacle. Here is to a happy future for the both of us! Cheers!

Also, for all of you out there that is unsatisfied with their current life, you can change it, no matter how difficult it may seem. You don’t have to start big. You can do it slowly and you’ll most definitely see progress, in time. We don’t have to be satisfied with life, but happy with it. So take a risk and do what you want to do, the results will be worth it, I guarantee!

 

The Job Experiment 2

After a week of not giving a damn I can finally write the ending of my story. Welcome to my job experiment part 2. As some of you, who read the first part, know my new job as waitress ended before it even began, hurrah…But I found my answer as to why and the conclusion to the whole situation. About 3 days ago, my friend called me and told me he talked to the café owner. Said that due to many problems he couldn’t call me Sunday night and the next day he only arrived at work at about 4 in the afternoon, explains why it was closed. He also told me I should expect his call in the next few days and that I would most likely start work the next week. I was happy! But here is the actual catch. I talked to him about half an hour more catching up and after hanging up I received a message. It was the owner and here is the message I received word by word: “I discussed the situation with my associate and reached the conclusion that there would be no point to hire someone before the holidays. We’ll talk again after the New Years.”

…I’m still in shock. Was there any point in me even going to meet the guy then? TT_TT