Sage Nestler's Blog, page 7

Book Review: A Privileged and Infuriating Take on Trauma, Mental Illness, and Relationship Abuse

For twenty-six-year-old Adelaide Williams, an American living in dreamy London, meeting Rory Hughes was like a lightning bolt out of the blue: this charming Englishman was The One she wasn’t even looking for.

Is it enough?

Does he respond to texts? Honor his commitments? Make advance plans? Sometimes, rarely, and no, not at all. But when he shines his light on her, the world makes sense, and Adelaide is convinced that, in his heart, he’s fallen just as deeply as she has. Then, when Rory is rocked by an unexpected tragedy, Adelaide does everything in her power to hold him together—even if it means losing herself in the process.

When love asks too much of us, how do we find the strength to put ourselves first?

With unflinching honesty and heart, this relatable debut from a fresh new voice explores grief and mental health while capturing the timeless nature of what it’s like to be young and in love—with your friends, with your city, and with a person who cannot, will not, love you back.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

2/5

Quick Take

Adelaide by Genevieve Wheeler had me in a trance from the start. The writing felt beautiful and intense, and with a history of relationship abuse, I felt like this book might be cathartic for me. However, it quickly became clear that this was a book that featured privileged and unlikeable characters, underhanded political messages, and a harmful message about how only certain types of women can be “truly” victimized. As I continued on, the writing ended up feeling childish and pretentious, as though the author were trying to copy the literary greats to no avail – even though it was clear that she does take herself too seriously and sees herself in the same caliber as authors such as Charles Dickens. I was left feeling angry and tricked. I know that this book has received a plethora of positive reviews, but I feel that it is a dangerous book. It stigmatizes true victims of relationship abuse as well as those who struggle with mental illness, and it screams “poor privileged white girl” in the worst way possible.

Tell Me More

Sometimes a book comes along that feels like a trick. The writing appears enchanting, and the reader feels as though they are reading a truly remarkable and life changing story. There are numerous quotable segments and insights galore. However, as the story progresses, the reader begins to realize that these “insights” and the “enchanting writing” are actually quite juvenile and generic. They are simply tricks to cover up a basic story with problematic elements that is trying to imitate classic literature, but ultimately fails.

This was exactly my experience with reading Adelaide by Genevieve Wheeler.

I must admit that I went into reading this novel expecting too much. I have a history of relationship abuse, and I am frequently searching for books that touch on this topic. I find that the right books often help me to explore my trauma and heal, and I expected Adelaide to be cathartic in this manner. Unfortunately, the story became quite pretentious, and the characters were completely and utterly unlikeable.

The namesake character, Adelaide, was quite possibly one of the worst characters I have read in literature. She was privileged, whiny, flighty, and self-absorbed. She fell in love with a man who clearly was not in a place where he could have a relationship because he was mourning the loss of his supposed “love of his life”. But Adelaide constantly talks about how he looks like a “Disney Prince” and how this made her fall head over heels in love with him – which seemed very basic to me. He is clearly an unstable, abusive jerk, but Adelaide constantly goes overboard trying to impress him and “earn his love.” The emotional abuse he projects onto her is absolutely inappropriate and harmful, but I had a hard time empathizing with Adelaide because her character was so flat and unlikeable. I do understand that Adelaide’s experience is common when it comes to toxic men and toxic relationships, but the themes were so basic and laughable that I could not take her pain seriously.

Unfortunately, Wheeler also makes the mistake of projecting her political ideals onto the reader, which was unnecessary and harmful. She also talks constantly about how “frail” and “cute” Adelaide is, which insinuates the idea that only women who are girlish, thin, white, and cute can be “true” victims and worthy of sympathy.

The theme of female friendship was also lost on me, as I found Adelaide’s friends to be insufferable, unlikeable, and – you guessed it – privileged. Privilege was a huge toxic theme in this novel, and the last thing we need is another novel that focuses on privileged white women who are unable or unwilling to step outside of their comfort zone and empathize with those who do not have this type of privilege.

Lastly, the mental health and illness aspects were poorly executed. While Adelaide does discuss her family’s history of mental illness and is ultimately diagnosed with bipolar disorder herself, her presentation of bipolar disorder was poor and stigmatizing. There were also numerous comments throughout about us “Americans and our pills” which was insulting. As someone who has to take multiple mental health medications to be able to function, I felt like this was a direct hit.

Some readers might find solace in Adelaide by Genevieve Wheeler, and that is fine. However, it was a harmful read for me, and I did not appreciate how worse off I felt upon finishing it. There were too many problem areas, and while I was going to give this book 5 stars in the beginning, my rating quickly fell to 2 stars due to the stigmatizing language and themes and realizing how I had been tricked with the supposed “beautiful writing”. Please proceed with caution.

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Book Review: A Vivid and Nuanced Take on Serial Killer Culture

A work of literary suspense that deconstructs the story of a serial killer on death row, told primarily through the eyes of the women in his life.

Ansel Packer is scheduled to die in twelve hours. He knows what he’s done, and now awaits execution, the same chilling fate he forced on those girls, years ago. But Ansel doesn’t want to die; he wants to be celebrated, understood. He hoped it wouldn’t end like this, not for him.

Through a kaleidoscope of women—a mother, a sister, a homicide detective—we learn the story of Ansel’s life. We meet his mother, Lavender, a seventeen-year-old girl pushed to desperation; Hazel, twin sister to Ansel’s wife, inseparable since birth, forced to watch helplessly as her sister’s relationship threatens to devour them all; and finally, Saffy, the homicide detective hot on his trail, who has devoted herself to bringing bad men to justice but struggles to see her own life clearly. As the clock ticks down, these three women sift through the choices that culminate in tragedy, exploring the rippling fissures that such destruction inevitably leaves in its wake.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

5/5

Quick Take

Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka is one of the most impactful books that I have ever read. Kukafka’s writing introduces a poetic and unique voice in literature that instantly grips the reader. I still think about the characters that Kukafka introduced me to, and I know that this is one novel that I will be re-reading many a time.

Tell Me More

As an avid reader, I have found that I rarely find books that can shake me to the core anymore. So many books feel like they are just variations of similar storylines, and it becomes tiresome. When Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka was recommended to me, I expected it to be an interesting story about a serial killer – but it became so much more than that. It was a beautiful examination of the impact of violent men on the women in their lives, and it shredded me to the core. Serial killers have long been a fascination in popular culture, but Notes on an Execution turns that fascination on its head and gives voices to the women who are so often silenced.

Ansel is awaiting execution, and his chapters are told in the second person. This fresh take puts the reader in his shoes, almost as though they can experience what Ansel is experiencing firsthand. While this could be used as a tactic for the reader to empathize with Ansel, it does the complete opposite. Putting the reader in Ansel’s shoes reveals how narcissistic he is, and how he views those around him (particularly women and animals) as lesser and worthy of manipulation and abuse. Between Ansel’s chapters, there are chapters that focus on three different women who are paramount in his life – his mother, his wife’s sister, and the detective who was on his tail for years (and who also happened to share a foster home with him when they were children). Each chapter reveals the impact that Ansel’s actions had on others, and how all of their lives have been ultimately changed.

Kukafka’s prose is some of the best that I have ever read. She uses a lot of metaphors, which can become tiresome for some readers, but I found them to be extremely poetic and heart wrenching. I did have to read certain passages over again to fully grasp them due to the level of intensity and depth that Kukafka’s uses, but this only made me feel closer to the women in Ansel’s life. For such a short novel, Notes on an Execution is filled to the brim with pain, loss, beauty, and most of all, strength – despite the violence that many of us endure in our lives.

I can’t remember the last time I read a novel where I was scared to finish is too quickly, because I didn’t want it to end. Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka had me snared from the first chapter, and I still think about the beauty of the story on a daily basis. This is one novel that wormed its way into my soul, and I can only say that about maybe two other books. Please, drop what you are doing right now, and pick this book up. Whether you like the style of writing or not, I guarantee that the story will leave a lasting impression on you.

Content Warnings: Animal abuse, emotional abuse, domestic abuse, substance abuse

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New Release: A Sultry Gothic Horror Novel from Author Nicole Eigener

I am a frequent fan of gothic horror, and I am always up for anything that involves vampires and is part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I met Nicole Eigener through Instagram a few months ago, and I was excited to learn about their queer vampire novel, Beguiled by Night. Upon reading it, I felt like I had found an important and delicious new voice in the gothic horror genre. Eigener’s vampire, Vauquelin, is classic and groundbreaking in all of the right ways, and their inclusion of French culture and language is utterly tantalizing. While the horror aspects are light, the story is disturbing, painful, and erotic. It is a must-read for fans of classic gothic horror, and I can’t praise it enough.

Today, Eigener released their follow-up to Beguiled by Night, and it is just as delicious, horrific, romantic, and all-consuming as its predecessor. Both books are some of the most beautiful tomes of gothic horror that I have read, and I cannot recommend them enough. Be sure to check them out!



Citizens of Shadow

"A chance to live life over, to correct one’s mistakes — is it a blessing or a curse? In Beguiled by Night, Vauquelin, an ancient, queer vampire living in present-day Los Angeles, finds his time unwinding like a spool of dirty thread til he’s re-deposited into seventeenth century France: he seizes the chance for redemption. In Citizens of Shadow, he clings frightfully to his aim — until he learns the hidden costs of tampering with fate. Centuries of self-exile and isolation claim their due. What glory might unfold when you open your heart to what else is to come … and what rewards will you reap when you embrace your authentic self?

Lush, gothic horror unfolds in Citizens of Shadow, a queer dark fantasy of vampires, time travel, and sinister secrets threatening to unravel an eternal existence."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR



Nicole Eigener is the author of Beguiled by Night: A Vampire Tale (Polidori Press, 2020) and CITIZENS OF SHADOW: Beguiled by Night Book Two, in which Vauquelin’s story continues. They are also co-author, with Beverley Lee, of Crimson is the Night: A Vampire Novelette featuring a meeting of characters from Lee’s Gabriel Davenport series and Beguiled By Night. Nicole is a lifelong student of French history and the macabre. Their love for haemovores became a beautiful marriage to their obsession with French culture, specifically of the seventeenth-century, which features prominently in their work. Nicole lives in Southern California. Visit their website for book extras including French pronunciations and a soundtrack.

Visit: https://thevampire.org/

Book Review: A Treat for Middle-Grade Readers

The Search for Synergy by Brett Salter

“The Search For Synergy” is the first book in The Talisman Series by author Brett Salter. It follows the exploits of two middle-school boys, Rome Lockheed and Julian Rider, as they transition from normal kids into epic warriors fighting for the existence of the Earth realm. Rome is secretly a fire dragon from the Den of Volcana placed under a spell which hides his true form. Julian is an oddball, up-and-coming knight with a case of the “try-hards”. Together, they perform an ancient pact which bonds their lives and souls forever. Under the tutelage and guidance of an eccentric, local librarian, Mr. Jones, the two learn of an impending invasion from an archaic evil desperate to invade from the other side of The Void.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

4/5

Quick Take

The Search for Synergy by Brett Salter is a dragon filled fantasy with relatable characters that will appeal to middle grade readers.

Tell Me More

Middle grade books can often feel like they are dumbed down, or do not contain a story that is complex and worthy of middle grade readers. But this was not the case with The Search for Synergy. Brett Salter brought forth a fantasy adventure that was one of a kind and a joy to read – even as an adult! He is clearly a new and important voice in middle grade literature, and he is sure to make avid fans of his readers.

The Search for Synergy focuses on two middle-school boys – Rome and Julian. Rome is a secret fire dragon, while Julian is a knight, and they perform an ancient pact that bonds their souls forever. Both boys are guided by Mr. Jones, a local librarian, who teaches them how to fight evil. What ensues is the adventure of a lifetime.

Salter’s writing is easy to understand and appropriate for middle grade readers. His characters were fun and complex, and I am positive that readers of all genders will relate to them and find solace in their story. I found the story to be comical while heartfelt, and it was an enjoyable read.

However, some of the dialogue did seem a little unrealistic. At times I felt like Salter was trying too hard to capture the voices of middle grade characters. This detracted from the story for me, but since I am not the target audience, it may not bother other readers.

The Search for Synergy is an engaging and fun fantasy adventure that is a welcome addition to the middle grade market. I look forward to seeing where Salter takes this story, and I think that young readers will find solace in the world that he created.

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Guest Post: Some Gripes About Being a Parent and Reading to Your Children

Thinking back ten years ago, my life was quite a bit different to what it is today. In those days I didn’t have toys scattered on a coffee table or trainers spread about the floor. I didn’t have to negotiate bed times. I didn’t need to worry if my child was going to have a good day at school. Now things are different…I am a parent.

One of the positives of parenthood is reading a child a story; I tend to put on funny voices. My son is particular. He is bilingual, he can switch from one language to another. His English vocabulary is extensive, which is incredible because we live in France. I started reading to him before he could speak.

Yes I have had to read Postman Pat, Peppa Pig,Thomas the Tank Engine, the Mr and Mrs books, the usual stuff you are forced to read to children. He had a Harry Potter phase, but that seems to have been and gone and now he is into Percy Jackson books, which I found also very pleasing. He likes the English comedian David Walliams books, which seem to incorporate the same humour as Roald Dahl with uncanny similar illustrations. Walliams seems to have found a niche with his stories in which children burp and fart and do all manner of things a parent hopes their own children will desist from doing. For me some of his stories are old fashioned and quaint, throwing snowballs at teachers and other pupils, gangsta grannies, that kind of thing. But his formula seems to work.

My son has also been hooked on Manga books and it’s a hard battle to wean him off books done in a comic style with pictures and less descriptive words. “Read a proper book!” is often the cry in our house. When he reads a “proper” book he can get into it. But something in his mind seems to resist reading fat books, without pictures.

I have read to him my own stories. It is a great pleasure to do this. My first published children’s book was inspired by one of my son’s drawings. It was done during the pandemic, a few years ago. It was of a king who seemed to be walking while holding the hand of two ghosts. He looked like a fish, so I came up with the title “The Fish King and the Two Wise Ghosts.”

Discussion

Do you have children?

What have you read to them?

Have you enjoyed reading a children’s book recently?

What makes a good children’s book?

Put any answers in the comments.  

About the Author

Born in 1961, in Reading, England Francis H Powell attended Art Schools, receiving a degree in painting and an MA in printmaking. In 1995, Powell moved to Austria, teaching English as a foreign language while pursuing his varied artistic interests adding music and writing. He currently lives in Brittany, France writing both prose and poetry. Powell has published short stories in the magazine, “Rat Mort” and other works on the internet site “Multi-dimensions.” His two published books are Flight of Destiny and Adventures of Death, Reincarnation and Annihilation

Keep In Touch: https://francishpowellauthor.weebly.com/

5 Books to Read for Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a cause that is near and dear to my heart. As a survivor of multiple mental illnesses, including schizoaffective disorder, multiple eating disorders, generalized anxiety disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder, I am always trying to spread awareness about mental health and illness. Books have long been a comfort for me through my struggle with mental illness, and I wanted to share with you five books that address mental health and illness correctly.

So many times, books don’t portray mental health and illness well. It can be hard to find books that don’t add to the stigma surrounding mental health, but the following books resonated with me and my struggles with mental illness, as well as my experience as a mental health specialist.

While these are all difficult reads, I hope that you can find comfort and solace in their pages. They portray mental health and illness in a vibrant and painful manner that have both torn me apart and sewn me back together. Please read with caution, but my hope is that these authors might just provide you with what you need.

Pretty Girl-13 by Liz Coley

Mental Health Focus: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Trauma

Trigger warnings: Kidnapping, Rape, Abuse

Pretty Girl-13 is a disturbing and powerful psychological thriller about a girl who must piece together the story of her kidnapping and captivity and then piece together her own identity.

When thirteen-year-old Angela Gracie Chapman looks in the mirror, someone else looks back–a thin, pale stranger, a sixteen-year-old with haunted eyes. Angie has no memory of the past three years, years in which she was lost to the authorities, lost to her family and friends, lost even to herself. Where has she been, who has been living her life, and what is hiding behind the terrible blankness? There are secrets you can’t even tell yourself.

With a tremendous amount of courage and support from unexpected friends, Angie embarks on a journey into the darkest corners of her mind. As she unearths more and more about her past, she discovers a terrifying secret and must decide: when you remember things you wish you could forget, do you destroy the people responsible, or is there another way to feel whole again?

Liz Coley’s alarming and fascinating psychological mystery is a disturbing—and ultimately empowering—page turner about accepting our whole selves, and the healing power of courage, hope, and love.

Goodreads Synopsis

The Girls at 17 Swann Street by Yara Zgheib

Mental Health Focus: Anorexia, Eating Disorders

Trigger Warnings: In depth descriptions of eating disorder behaviors, discussion of weight

Note: If you are actively struggling with an eating disorder, this book may be too sensitive for you. When I was deep in my eating disorder, this book intensified my behaviors as I tried to mimic the behaviors of Anna. Please proceed with caution.

The chocolate went first, then the cheese, the fries, the ice cream. The bread was more difficult, but if she could just lose a little more weight, perhaps she would make the soloists’ list. Perhaps if she were lighter, danced better, tried harder, she would be good enough. Perhaps if she just ran for one more mile, lost just one more pound.

Anna Roux was a professional dancer who followed the man of her dreams from Paris to Missouri. There, alone with her biggest fears – imperfection, failure, loneliness – she spirals down anorexia and depression till she weighs a mere eighty-eight pounds. Forced to seek treatment, she is admitted as a patient at 17 Swann Street, a peach pink house where pale, fragile women with life-threatening eating disorders live. Women like Emm, the veteran; quiet Valerie; Julia, always hungry. Together, they must fight their diseases and face six meals a day.

Yara Zgheib’s poetic and poignant debut novel is a haunting, intimate journey of a young woman’s struggle to reclaim her life. Every bite causes anxiety. Every flavor induces guilt. And every step Anna takes toward recovery will require strength, endurance, and the support of the girls at 17 Swann Street.

Goodreads Synopsis

The Pact by Jodi Picoult

Mental Health Focus: Depression, Trauma

Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Unwanted Pregnancy

For eighteen years the Hartes and the Golds have lived next door to each other, sharing everything from Chinese food to chicken pox to carpool duty—they’ve grown so close it seems they have always been a part of each other’s lives. Parents and children alike have been best friends, so it’s no surprise that in high school Chris and Emily’s friendship blossoms into something more. They’ve been soul mates since they were born.

So when midnight calls from the hospital come in, no one is ready for the appalling truth: Emily is dead at seventeen from a gunshot wound to the head. There’s a single unspent bullet in the gun that Chris took from his father’s cabinet—a bullet that Chris tells police he intended for himself. But a local detective has doubts about the suicide pact that Chris has described.

Goodreads Synopsis

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

Mental Health Focus: Depression, Anxiety

Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Bullying

Her story is a phenomenon. Her life is a disaster.

In the real world, Eliza Mirk is shy, weird, and friendless. Online, she’s LadyConstellation, the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea. Eliza can’t imagine enjoying the real world as much as she loves the online one, and she has no desire to try.

Then Wallace Warland, Monstrous Sea’s biggest fanfiction writer, transfers to her school. Wallace thinks Eliza is just another fan, and as he draws her out of her shell, she begins to wonder if a life offline might be worthwhile.

But when Eliza’s secret is accidentally shared with the world, everything she’s built—her story, her relationship with Wallace, and even her sanity—begins to fall apart.

Goodreads Synopsis

Coral by Sara Ella

Mental Health Focus: Depression, Anxiety

Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Self-Harm, Emotional Abuse, Eating Disorders, PTSD, Unwanted Advances

Coral has always been different, standing out from her mermaid sisters in a society where blending in is key. Worse yet, she fears she has been afflicted with the dreaded Disease, said to be carried by humans—emotions. Can she face the darkness long enough to surface in the light?

Above the sea, Brooke has nothing left to give. Depression and anxiety have left her feeling isolated. Forgotten. The only thing she can rely on is the numbness she finds within the cool and comforting ocean waves. If only she weren’t stuck at Fathoms—a new group therapy home that promises a second chance at life. But what’s the point of living if her soul is destined to bleed?

Merrick may be San Francisco’s golden boy, but he wants nothing more than to escape his controlling father. When his younger sister’s suicide attempt sends Merrick to his breaking point, escape becomes the only option. If he can find their mom, everything will be made right again—right?

When their worlds collide, all three will do whatever it takes to survive, and Coral might even catch a prince in the process. But what—and who—must they leave behind for life to finally begin?

Taking a new twist on Hans Christian Andersen’s beloved—yet tragic—fairy tale, Coral explores mental health from multiple perspectives, questioning what it means to be human in a world where humanity often seems lost.

Goodreads Synopsis

If you are struggling with your mental health, you are not alone!

Please use the following resources to find the help or support that you need:

NAMI HelpLine

NAMI Support Groups

NAMI Programs and Classes

NAMI Podcasts & Webinars

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Book Review: An Essential Read That Features A Searing Examination of Rape Culture

A contemporary YA novel that examines rape culture through alternating perspectives.

Alex Craft knows how to kill someone. And she doesn’t feel bad about it.

Three years ago, when her older sister, Anna, was murdered and the killer walked free, Alex uncaged the language she knows best—the language of violence. While her own crime goes unpunished, Alex knows she can’t be trusted among other people. Not with Jack, the star athlete who wants to really know her but still feels guilty over the role he played the night Anna’s body was discovered. And not with Peekay, the preacher’s kid with a defiant streak who befriends Alex while they volunteer at an animal shelter. Not anyone.

As their senior year unfolds, Alex’s darker nature breaks out, setting these three teens on a collision course that will change their lives forever.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

4/5

Quick Take

The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis is a searing and heart wrenching examination of rape culture. The varying perspectives provide multiple takes on the effects of rape culture on young lives, and each page provides insightful prose. This is an essential read for readers of all ages.

Tell Me More

Mindy McGinnis has recently become an auto-buy author for me. Her work is often dark and enchanting, while providing important social commentary. The Female of the Species is one of her most impactful works, and it is one that has changed me. As a victim of sexual assault myself, this read was a particularly difficult read. But it was cathartic at the same time.

The Female of the Species highlights rape culture in a brutal way, while examining the effects of rape culture and sexual abuse on youth, especially. Even though this novel was fairly short, almost every page provided important commentary. Every character was well developed and being able to view their private lives created important intimacy.

While the story was very dark, it was insightful and provided an important look at the power of feminism and those who identify as female. It highlighted how females are treated in our society, while also zeroing in on the male experience. The varying perspectives created an overarching view of rape culture that was absolutely heartbreaking.

I would have loved for this book to be longer so that we could get to know the characters more, and I was disappointed by the ending. But the bleak ending did contribute to the overall hopeless feeling of the book, and while it left me gutted, it was deeply impactful.

I highly recommend The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis for young adults and adults alike. It is an important examination of the abuse females experience in our society, and it is designed to inspire deep discussions. Just be aware that it may be triggering for readers who have been personally impacted by sexual assault or abuse.

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This Fever Dream of a Novel Will Leave You Reeling

Indie by Paul MacLeod

Midas had returned to Toronto with a new business plan. After years of big deals in the South, he decided to do it better. It was always so hard to make money and do good at the same time. With his indie café he’d do both. But this reinvention comes at a mysterious price as strange visitors arrive with insistent business propositions.

Making it more difficult, the town he’d left is as overwhelmed by the notorious sins as everywhere else, buckling under ecological decay, a weakened state, and rampant fraud and violence. As Midas defends his café, his world morphs in bizarre and threatening ways. One wonders if his growing horror is real or a distraught misperception of reality, and a clue comes from an unlikely place: his favourite customer.

Zora has her own troubles. A progressive artist, she’d recently quit a revolutionary movement, until she’s drawn back in. Zora’s journey and perception of reality morph too, and both she and Midas participate in a grander struggle over the absurd elusiveness of truth. 

Goodreads Synopsis

Rating

5/5

Quick Take

Indie by Paul MacLeod is a beautifully written sci-fi thriller that reads like a fever dream. MacLeod’s writing is smooth and vibrant, and his passion for his story leaps from the page. Fans of sci-fi are sure to be transformed after ingesting this read!

Tell Me More

I’ve always been interested in sci-fi, but I have to admit that I am fairly new to reading it. Indie by Paul MacLeod was a great book to read as a new fan, because it was easy to understand and utterly captivating.

Indie by Paul MacLeod is a dystopian/apocalyptic sci-fi novel that focuses on Midas, a man who runs his indie cafe in a world that is that is becoming increasingly violent and disastrous. The novel follows his journey as he tries to defend his cafe, but his world quickly becomes corrupted. The casual setting of the cafe in a world that is impacted by such extreme sci-fi elements is intriguing and blends the importance of human relationships in a decaying world with existential dread.

Zora, an artist with revolutionary interests, was by far my favorite character in Indie. She elicits the “manic pixie dream girl” complex, but while she possesses the characteristics of this trope, her character is an independent and essential element to the novel. She is creative, marches to the beat of her own drum, and while stuck in a world that is frequently changing and further deteriorating, she stands her ground. Zora’s and Midas’ chemistry oozes from the pages of the book, and I quickly became engrossed in their relationship.

With Indie, MacLeod has proven himself to be a deeply passionate and unrepeated author. He managed to create a sci-fi novel that not only explores apocalyptic elements but is filled with philosophical interests and deep relationships that allow the reader to reflect on their own life. There are so many ways to interpret this novel, and I was thoroughly impressed with the prose. Indie is MacLeod’s first novel, and with it he has created a lifelong reader of his work in myself.

If you are a sci-fi fan and enjoy philosophy and complex interpersonal relationships, Indie by Paul MacLeod deserves to be on the top of your to be read list. This author is sure to go far.

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Wrap-Up: My Top 10 2022 Reads

Happy New Year, Everyone!

I hope that you are all having a great holiday season, and that if you are struggling you are at least finding some time to escape in a book! It has been quite a tough year for me, but I have found that my reading life has absolutely flourished. I have read the most books this year that I have read within any year, and I am quite proud of that. I’ve also made quite a few bookish friends on Instagram, and I am really enjoying sharing my love of reading with others.

It was so difficult to pick only ten of my favorite reads that I read in 2022, because so many of them were five star reads. But I hope that maybe you will choose to pick up one of these ten reads and enjoy them as much as I did. Or, if you also read some of these books, you can share your thoughts on them with me!

I have to warn you that my top ten reads are all over the place. I read across so many different genres this year, and I have favorites across all of them. However, I did separate my list by genre to help you browse through it.

I hope you enjoy!

Ashley Nestler, MSW

My Top 10 2022 ReadsNonfiction

From Ruby Ridge to Freedom: The Sara Weaver Story by Sara Weaver

Sara Weaver was a teenager when her little brother was shot and killed by a U.S. Marshal. One day later, her mother was killed right in front of her by an FBI sniper. She survived an eleven-day siege, hunkered down in a cabin on a mountain top in Naples, Idaho with her little sisters, her injured father, and injured adopted brother. But walking down that mountain to safety was only the beginning. In the years that followed, she was hounded by news media and reporters. People created their own versions of the event, each presenting their own spin, their own angle, and their own social or political views on those tragic days.

But this book is Sara’s story, written in her own words. It is the story of Ruby Ridge from the inside, from the perspective of the 16-year-old girl who experienced the nightmare firsthand. However, it isn’t just about the pain and hopelessness that shadowed the next ten years as she tried to move on. Sara’s story continues with the transformation in her heart that changed the course of her life. This book is about forgiving even the most horrible and personal of crimes. It’s about finding hope, about finding joy and freedom from the only source that can offer it in this sometimes broken world—her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

From Ruby Ridge to Freedom by Sara Weaver is a heart wrenching, yet hopeful, firsthand account of the tragedy that occurred at Ruby Ridge in the 90s. If you want to learn the truth about what really happened, this book is the way to go. It is also a great read if you are unfamiliar with the tragedy. Weaver shares her firsthand experiences with how she remembers what happened, while also sharing how she has moved on from the tragedy and found solace in Christianity. While she does share a lot of Bible verses and her experience with how her faith saved her, she is not preachy, and instead shares a message that there is hope in moving past trauma. Her book is fairly short, but I enjoyed her raw and honest account. I also enjoyed her stories of her family, which gave me more insight into their lives and the life that she lived at Ruby Ridge.

I purchased my copy straight from Weaver’s website, and she signed it for me. If you are interested in getting her book, you can visit her website here: shorturl.at/giLUX

Slenderman: Online Obsession, Mental Illness, and the Violent Crime of Two Midwestern Girls by Kathleen Hale

The first full account of the Slenderman stabbing, a true crime narrative of mental illness, the American judicial system, the trials of adolescence, and the power of the internet

The Slenderman stabbing of May 31, 2014, in the Milwaukee suburb of Waukesha, Wisconsin, shocked the local community and the world. The violence of Morgan Geyser and Anissa Weier, two twelve-year-old girls who attempted to stab their classmate to death, was extreme, but what seemed even more frightening was that they had done so under the influence of a figure born by the internet: the so-called “Slenderman.” Yet the even more urgent aspect of the story, that the children involved were suffering from undiagnosed mental illness, was often overlooked in coverage of the case.

Slenderman: Online Obsession, Mental Illness, and the Violent Crime of Two Midwestern Girls tells that full story for the first time in deeply researched detail, using court transcripts, police reports, individual reporting, and exclusive interviews. Morgan and Anissa were bound together by their shared love of geeky television shows and animals, and their discovery of the user-uploaded scary stories on the Creepypasta website could have been nothing more than a brief phase. But Morgan was suffering from early-onset childhood schizophrenia. She believed that she had been seeing Slenderman for many years, and the only way to stop him from killing her family was to bring him a sacrifice: Morgan’s best friend Payton “Bella” Leutner, whom Morgan and Anissa planned to stab to death on the night of Morgan’s twelfth birthday. Bella survived the attack, but was deeply traumatized, while Morgan and Anissa were immediately remanded into jail, and the severity of their crime meant that they would be prosecuted as adults. There, as Morgan continued to suffer from worsening mental illness after being denied antipsychotics, her life became more and more surreal.

Slenderman is both a page-turning true crime story and a search for justice. 

Goodreads

My Thoughts

This was another really tough, but important, read. It focuses on the Slenderman case, a case where two young girls were said to have stabbed their best friend multiple times because they were trying to sacrifice her to a character from a creepypasta story named Slenderman. Generally, the young girls were painted as being obsessed and heartless, but there was so much going on behind this story. Hale did an insane amount of research into the case, as well as multiple interviews with one of the girls who was suffering from early onset schizophrenia at the time. Hale’s book dives deep into the mental illness that played a big part in this crime, as well as how the justice system failed. While her book mostly focuses on the girls who committed the crime, she highlights the young girl who was severely injured from the crime and does her justice.

Before finding this book, I just saw the documentary on HBO that highlighted this crime, which completely swayed my opinion of the girls. After reading this book, I am disgusted by the way that the documentary completely had its own agenda in twisting the facts around. If you are interested in this case, I highly recommend skipping the documentary and reading this book instead.

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch by Alison Arngrim

For seven years, Alison Arngrim played a wretched, scheming, selfish, lying, manipulative brat on one of TV history’s most beloved series. Though millions of Little House on the Prairie viewers hated Nellie Oleson and her evil antics, Arngrim grew to love her character—and the freedom and confidence Nellie inspired in her.

In Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, Arngrim describes growing up in Hollywood with her eccentric parents: Thor Arngrim, a talent manager to Liberace and others, whose appetite for publicity was insatiable, and legendary voice actress Norma MacMillan, who played both Gumby and Casper the Friendly Ghost. She recalls her most cherished and often wickedly funny moments behind the scenes of Little House: Michael Landon’s “unsaintly” habit of not wearing underwear; how she and Melissa Gilbert (who played her TV nemesis, Laura Ingalls) became best friends and accidentally got drunk on rum cakes at 7-Eleven; and the only time she and Katherine MacGregor (who played Nellie’s mom)  appeared in public in costume, provoking a posse of elementary schoolgirls to attack them.

Arngrim relays all this and more with biting wit, but she also bravely recounts her life’s challenges: her struggle to survive a history of traumatic abuse, depression, and paralyzing shyness; the “secret” her father kept from her for twenty years; and the devastating loss of her “Little House husband” and best friend, Steve Tracy, to AIDS, which inspired her second career in social and political activism. Arngrim describes how Nellie Oleson taught her to be bold, daring, and determined, and how she is eternally grateful to have had the biggest little bitch on the prairie to show her the way. 

Goodreads

My Thoughts

I have been a huge Little House on the Prairie fan ever since I was a kid, and when I was growing up, I watched the television series with my mother constantly. This past May, my mother and I took a trip to South Dakota and found a museum that had actual artifacts from the Ingalls family, as well as mementos from the television show. Needless to say, they had a gift shop, and I went a little crazy buying books about Laura Ingalls Wilder. But I just had to pick up this book about the actress who played Nellie in the series. I loved how open and honest Arngrim was in her memoir, and while she does talk a lot about her work in Little House, she talks openly about abuse that she suffered at the hands of her brother. She also discusses her work in activism, particularly with her work focusing on AIDS. Whether you are interested in her because of the character she played, or even if you never saw one episode of Little House, you might enjoy her memoir just as much as I did. It is raw, funny, and I felt upon finishing it that I had made a friend.

Young Adult

Dark Room Etiquette by Robin Roe

Sixteen-year-old Sayers Wayte has everything—until he’s kidnapped by a man who tells him the privileged life he’s been living is based on a lie.

Trapped in a windowless room, without knowing why he’s been taken or how long the man plans to keep him shut away, Sayers faces a terrifying new reality. To survive, he must forget the world he once knew, and play the part his abductor has created for him.

But as time passes, the line between fact and fiction starts to blur, and Sayers begins to wonder if he can escape . . . before he loses himself.

Goodreads

My Thoughts

I have to confess that kidnapping thrillers are a genre that I have a complete bookshelf for. I am obsessed with them! So, when I heard that this one was coming out, I bought it immediately. Needless to say, I was absolutely enthralled with it. Roe’s writing is thought-provoking and heartbreaking, while at once beautiful. This book is a psychological thrill ride that addresses bullying and trauma in the most sensitive way possible.

The Initial Insult by Mindy McGinnis

Welcome to Amontillado, Ohio, where your last name is worth more than money, and secrets can be kept… for a price.

Tress Montor knows that her family used to mean something—until she didn’t have a family anymore. When her parents disappeared seven years ago while driving her best friend home, Tress lost everything. She might still be a Montor, but the entire town shuns her now that she lives with her drunken, one-eyed grandfather at what locals refer to as the “White Trash Zoo,” – a wild animal attraction featuring a zebra, a chimpanzee, and a panther, among other things.

Felicity Turnado has it all – looks, money, and a secret that she’s kept hidden. She knows that one misstep could send her tumbling from the top of the social ladder, and she’s worked hard to make everyone forget that she was with the Montors the night they disappeared. Felicity has buried what she knows so deeply that she can’t even remember what it is… only that she can’t look at Tress without having a panic attack.

But she’ll have to.

Tress has a plan. A Halloween costume party at an abandoned house provides the ideal situation for Tress to pry the truth from Felicity – brick by brick – as she slowly seals her former best friend into a coal chute. With a drunken party above them, and a loose panther on the prowl, Tress will have her answers – or settle for revenge.

In the first book of this duology, award-winning author Mindy McGinnis draws inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe and masterfully delivers a dark, propulsive mystery in alternating points of view that unravels a friendship… forevermore. 

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

When I first picked up The Initial Insult by Mindy McGinnis, I did not expect it to be this dark. It is a young adult novel, and while I have read a few YA novels that are pretty dark, this one was a complete horror thrill ride. It is haunting, brutal, and impossible to put down. As a huge horror fan, I picked up on the subtle Edgar Allan Poe style, and it filled my heart with joy. It is an absolute must read for fans of the genre! (If you end up loving this one, make sure you pick up the follow up novel, The Last Laugh. It’s a great conclusion to the story.)

Literary Fiction

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan

A soul-stirring novel about what we choose to keep from our past, and what we choose to leave behind.

Olivia McAfee knows what it feels like to start over. Her picture-perfect life—living in Boston, married to a brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon, raising a beautiful son, Asher—was upended when her husband revealed a darker side. She never imagined she would end up back in her sleepy New Hampshire hometown, living in the house she grew up in, and taking over her father’s beekeeping business.

Lily Campanello is familiar with do-overs, too. When she and her mom relocate to Adams, New Hampshire, for her final year of high school, they both hope it will be a fresh start.

And for just a short while, these new beginnings are exactly what Olivia and Lily need. Their paths cross when Asher falls for the new girl in school, and Lily can’t help but fall for him, too. With Ash, she feels happy for the first time. Yet at times, she wonders if she can she trust him completely . . .

Then one day, Olivia receives a phone call: Lily is dead, and Asher is being questioned by the police. Olivia is adamant that her son is innocent. But she would be lying if she didn’t acknowledge the flashes of his father’s temper in him, and as the case against him unfolds, she realizes he’s hidden more than he’s shared with her.

Mad Honey is a riveting novel of suspense, an unforgettable love story, and a moving and powerful exploration of the secrets we keep and the risks we take in order to become ourselves. 

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

This is one of those novels that you won’t be able to get out of your head upon finishing it. Jodi Picoult has long been my favorite author because of the emotional impact I receive from her novels. But this book was even more unique in that Jennifer Finney Boylan’s voice added a gorgeous and unique perspective to the story. Both authors have written such a seamless and heartbreaking novel that left me completely speechless. In short, you simply must read this book.

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Exploring the psychological dynamics of the relationship between a precocious yet naïve teenage girl and her magnetic and manipulative teacher, a brilliant, all-consuming read that marks the explosive debut of an extraordinary new writer.

2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher.

2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed?

Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, My Dark Vanessa juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. Thought-provoking and impossible to put down, this is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood. Written with the haunting intimacy of The Girls and the creeping intensity of Room, My Dark Vanessa is an era-defining novel that brilliantly captures and reflects the shifting cultural mores transforming our relationships and society itself.

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

This is one of those novels that is going to have varying reviews simply because of how personal the story is, and how it will affect each reader differently. For me, it was extremely cathartic. Having gone through a situation earlier in my life similar to the topic of the story, I found reading the novel to be triggering, but also healing. It is beautifully written, and one that will leave a lasting impression on your soul.

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood

As the daughter of a meth dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. Struggling to raise her little brother, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible “adult” around. She finds peace in the starry Midwestern night sky above the fields behind her house. One night everything changes when she witnesses one of her father’s thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold, wreck his motorcycle. What follows is a powerful and shocking love story between two unlikely people that asks tough questions, reminding us of all the ugly and wonderful things that life has to offer.

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

This read is very controversial, due to the age difference between the central characters. But it is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read. It is a read that forces you to confront your initial judgements of others by creating a cast of characters that reminds us that appearances aren’t everything. It is a searing story that is full of heart, and I can’t get Wavy or Kellen out of my mind. They are probably some of my favorite characters in all of literature.

Horror

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica

Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans —though no one calls them that anymore.

His wife has left him, his father is sinking into dementia, and Marcos tries not to think too hard about how he makes a living. After all, it happened so quickly. First, it was reported that an infectious virus has made all animal meat poisonous to humans. Then governments initiated the “Transition.” Now, eating human meat—“special meat”—is legal. Marcos tries to stick to numbers, consignments, processing.

Then one day he’s given a gift: a live specimen of the finest quality. Though he’s aware that any form of personal contact is forbidden on pain of death, little by little he starts to treat her like a human being. And soon, he becomes tortured by what has been lost—and what might still be saved.

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

Okay, so this read is certainly not going to be for everyone. It is grotesque, graphic, and painful to read – but it is also a criticism and examination of our consumerist culture that will leave you with deep scars. While it is a fairly short novel, it packs a huge punch. Upon reading the last sentence you will not be able to get it out of your head, because this author does not hold back.

Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak

A mystery about a woman working as a nanny for a young boy with strange and disturbing secrets.

Fresh out of rehab, Mallory Quinn takes a job in the affluent suburb of Spring Brook, New Jersey as a babysitter for Ted and Caroline Maxwell. She is to look after their five-year-old son, Teddy.

Mallory immediately loves this new job. She lives in the Maxwell’s pool house, goes out for nightly runs, and has the stability she craves. And she sincerely bonds with Teddy, a sweet, shy boy who is never without his sketchbook and pencil. His drawings are the usual fare: trees, rabbits, balloons. But one day, he draws something different: a man in a forest, dragging a woman’s lifeless body.

As the days pass, Teddy’s artwork becomes more and more sinister, and his stick figures steadily evolve into more detailed, complex, and lifelike sketches well beyond the ability of any five-year-old. Mallory begins to suspect these are glimpses of an unsolved murder from long ago, perhaps relayed by a supernatural force lingering in the forest behind the Maxwell’s house.

With help from a handsome landscaper and an eccentric neighbor, Mallory sets out to decipher the images and save Teddy—while coming to terms with a tragedy in her own past—before it’s too late.

Goodreads Synopsis

My Thoughts

Finally, we have made it to the end of my list, and to the book that has earned the spot of the best book that I read in 2022. This thriller is impossibly unique, and the structure of the novel is like a fun puzzle that keeps you guessing. It was haunting in a classic, creepy way, and it has begun one of the best books I have ever read. It also won Best 2022 Horror Book on Goodreads, which made me extremely happy. I can’t recommend it enough!

I am very happy with how many great reads I read in 2022, and I can’t wait to see what 2023 brings! I wish you best book wishes in the New Year.

A Beautiful Portrayal of the Complexities of Gender and a Mother’s Love

A soul-stirring novel about what we choose to keep from our past, and what we choose to leave behind.

Olivia McAfee knows what it feels like to start over. Her picture-perfect life—living in Boston, married to a brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon, raising a beautiful son, Asher—was upended when her husband revealed a darker side. She never imagined she would end up back in her sleepy New Hampshire hometown, living in the house she grew up in, and taking over her father’s beekeeping business.

Lily Campanello is familiar with do-overs, too. When she and her mom relocate to Adams, New Hampshire, for her final year of high school, they both hope it will be a fresh start.

And for just a short while, these new beginnings are exactly what Olivia and Lily need. Their paths cross when Asher falls for the new girl in school, and Lily can’t help but fall for him, too. With Ash, she feels happy for the first time. Yet at times, she wonders if she can she trust him completely . . .

Then one day, Olivia receives a phone call: Lily is dead, and Asher is being questioned by the police. Olivia is adamant that her son is innocent. But she would be lying if she didn’t acknowledge the flashes of his father’s temper in him, and as the case against him unfolds, she realizes he’s hidden more than he’s shared with her.

Mad Honey is a riveting novel of suspense, an unforgettable love story, and a moving and powerful exploration of the secrets we keep and the risks we take in order to become ourselves. 

Goodreads Synopsis

Rating

5/5

*NOTE: This review contains spoilers*

Quick Take

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan is a heart wrenching and eye-opening novel about young love, death, gender, and of course, beekeeping. I couldn’t help but tear through this book until I reached the heart stopping conclusion. It is a must read that left me forever changed.

Tell Me More

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan is written in alternating chapters between Olivia and Lily. Olivia is the single mother of Asher, a teenage boy who fell deeply in love with Lily, a girl who recently was new at his school. Unfortunately, Lily is found dead, and Asher is accused of killing her. The chapters go back and forth into the future and past while the overall story follows Asher’s court case. Olivia is a beekeeper who escaped an abusive marriage, and while the book follows Lily’s death, it also explores abusive relationships, gender, and young love.

“Here’s what they do not tell you about falling in love: there’s not always a soft landing beneath you. It’s called falling, because it’s bound to break you.”

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan

I have been a Jodi Picoult fan since I first read The Pact back when I was a teenager (which has been my favorite book of all time ever since), and I have read most of the rest of her books since then. Therefore, I was excited to learn that Mad Honey was coming out and that she had co-written it with Jennifer Finney Boylan. I was going to wait until I could find the book secondhand eventually, but when I found a signed copy of the book, I couldn’t help myself. I can honestly say that I am so glad that I picked it up and read it when I did. It is one of the best books I have ever read, and that is not an exaggeration. It is a book that challenges your beliefs, makes you think, and leaves a mark on you that you can never remove. While Jodi’s novels all involve very intense storylines and challenge the reader’s beliefs and viewpoints, there was just something about this book that was even more special – and it has a lot to do with the addition if Jennifer Finney Boylan’s perspective.

Unfortunately, due to the hype around this book I already knew about one of the major “surprises” that was revealed a little way into the book, and for the sake of my review I do need to address it. Lily is revealed as being a transgender woman, which contributes to the controversy surrounding her death. Author Jennifer Finney Boylan is a transgender woman herself, and her personal experiences gave great depth to Lily’s character. Learning about Lily’s history with her father was heartbreaking and following her as she transitioned to a woman was beautiful. I have never read Finney Boylan’s work before, but since reading this book I am now very interested in pursuing her books.

“I guess there are different kinds of depression. There’s the kind that just crushes you for no reason, what Mom calls the clinical kind. But this isn’t that. This is the other kind, the kind that comes because the things that have happened to you are actually just unbelievably, heartbreakingly sad.”

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan

The beauty of Mad Honey is that it educates the reader on the transgender experience, while also confronting hate and prejudice. While this novel could have very easily been “preachy”, it was not that way at all. Instead, it wormed its way into my mind and heart, and left me thinking about it for days afterward.

“‘Just be yourself,’ they tell you. Worried about how you’ll come off if you’re interviewing for something? Just be yourself. Wondering what to say or how to act on a first date? Just be yourself. Looking for the words to describe the impossible? ‘Just be yourself,’ they tell you, to put you at ease. As if just being yourself is so easy. As if, for so many people, it isn’t the very thing that most puts you at risk in this cruel and heartless world.”

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan

There was so much going on with this novel, but each element was interweaved beautifully with the next. I enjoyed learning a lot about bees and beekeeping, and the prose was absolutely gorgeous. All of the characters were vivid and complex, but I do wish that some of them, particularly Lily’s mom and Asher’s best friend, were more fleshed out. The shock at the end of the novel was heart stopping as well, but it felt a bit rushed. Other than that, this novel was a masterpiece.

If you are up for a novel that will challenge your ideals, confront any hidden prejudices you may have, and change your perspective, Mad Honey is a must read. I plan on reading it over and over again, and it has made my list of the best books I have ever read.