Sage Nestler's Blog, page 11

Waco Survivors 28 Years Later

From February 28, 1993 – April 19, 1993 the siege of a peaceful religious community called the Branch Davidians at Mount Carmel in Waco, Texas took place.  The siege was broadcasted, and the media demonized this nonviolent community in the viewer’s eyes for 51 days – until the siege ended in a massive fire and an enormous loss of life.  But the trauma of this massacre has not seized.  The media has continued to demonize the Branch Davidian community for the past 28 years, but the survivors of the Waco Massacre – including David Thibodeau, author of “A Place Called Waco: A Survivor’s Story”, the book that inspired the miniseries from Paramount – have worked tirelessly to get the true story of the siege out to the public. 

                As someone who had not been born at the time of the Waco Massacre, I watched the mini-series last year when it was featured on Netflix knowing nothing about the event beforehand.  After watching the series, I felt as though my heart had been completely shredded, and I was compelled to act.  As an empath, the secondhand pain I experienced while watching the mini-series changed me.  Shortly after this transformative experience, I connected with David Thibodeau and had the honor of interviewing him and discussing Waco as well as current racial injustices and mental health.  Now, months after my interview, I was honored to be invited to the 28th memorial of the Waco Massacre.  My wounded heart was reopened after listening to various survivors including David Thibodeau as he honored the 76 Branch Davidians who died in the final fire – including 22 children – as well as the ATF agents whose lives were lost.

                Numerous survivors attended the memorial and spoke about their experiences during the siege, while also remembering those who died.  Despite the time that has elapsed since the Waco Massacre, the trauma that the survivors have endured for not only those 51 days but for the past 28 years was palpable and left me shaking and in tears.  To many of the survivors, the Branch Davidian community was their family and the pain from the needless loss of life at the massacre lives on each day.  However, many of the survivors, including David Thibodeau, are now dedicated to sharing their stories and shedding light on the lies that the media portrayed about the massacre – and the script that has continued on for 28 years.  The trauma that the survivors and those who lost their lives experienced during the 51-day siege is indescribable, and to be silenced for so many years has only emphasized the pain and invalidated the experiences of those affected.

                There is a saying that goes “time heals everything” but for the Waco trauma survivors, this simply is not true.  Listening to David Thibodeau list off and share stories of each person who lost their lives in the massacre with such strength and grace brought tears to my eyes and brought up the same intense anger that I first experienced last year when watching the mini-series on Waco, and continuing my research of the event and those involved.  For a peaceful religious community to be targeted in such a violent manner, the memories of those 51 days are fresh and the memories of that community and those who lost their lives remain on the hearts of the survivors.  Such severe trauma often debilitates and silences individuals, but for many of the Waco survivors, sharing their stories and fighting for the truth of the massacre to come out gives them power and purpose.  I have become so passionate about this horrible tragedy and deeply empathize with the survivors, but I know that I can never fully understand the amount of pain, anger, and invalidation they have experienced and still experience today.  However, I can share their experiences with you and invite you to learn more about the truth of the Waco Massacre.  I sincerely encourage you to listen to their stories to shed light on the trauma that they have endured and continue to live.  Having PTSD myself, I deeply empathize with the lasting traumatic experiences of those who survived Waco, but I am so in awe of their strength, faith, and how dedicated they are to shed light on not only what happened at Waco, but to also highlight the fear and injustices that religious communities experience across the world. 

I have witnessed myself how the survivors of Waco have transformed their trauma into action, and I am in awe of how something so awful can inspire change and empathy in not only America, but across the world.  Enduring PTSD and the aftereffects of trauma is oftentimes brutal, but the survivors of Waco demonstrate how trauma can be used to ignite action and empathy in a world oftentimes controlled by the media.  I am more than honored to know this community of survivors and to be inspired by them and their faith. 

There is a plethora of information on Waco out there, but David Thibodeau is adamant that only information from the survivors and those who have studied the tragedy extensively be shared.  If you would like to learn more about the Waco Massacre, those who lost their lives, the survivors, and the Branch Davidian’s religion, the following website is the go to place for information created and collected specifically by the survivors:

Waco Survivors

https://www.wacosurvivors.com/

The following documentary was also mentioned at the memorial and is a deep analysis of the Waco Massacre, and what we have learned (or not learned) since then:

The Waco Branch Davidian Tragedy: What Have We Learned or Not Learned?

Book Review: Boundless by Christen Stovall

Format: PaperbackRating: 5/5Quick Take

“Boundless is one of those rare finales that is written so beautifully that it stays with you forever. Christen Stovall’s Song of Souls Trilogy is officially one of my favorite fantasy series I have ever read.”

Tell Me More

I have long been following Christen Stovall’s writing, as her stories have really resonated with me. Stovall’s Song of Souls Trilogy is a beautiful ode to the memory of her husband, and it is because of this that I believe her writing is so powerful. Each word she pens is a piece of her soul, and I savored every second of this trilogy.

Nevertheless, I was wary going into reading Boundless because the final book in a series is often hit or miss – and sometimes my emotional heart can’t take the end of a series I’ve loved so much. Well, let me tell you, Boundless is one of the best trilogy endings I have read due to Stovall’s gorgeous writing and how well she wrapped up the characters and the story, all the while oozing suspense that kept me on the edge of my seat. I tend to judge books by how well they help me escape and based on that criterion alone, Boundless deserves much more than five stars on my rating scale.

Boundless follows our protagonist Aislynn as she experiences Venallis and how it is now under siege, while Rosehaven has been taken by Queen Vesspial and the netherworld. Amidst the chaos, Aislynn is more intimately at war with herself due to her devotion to her Soulmate and her conflicting feelings for Ciaran. The novel follows the war between lands as Aislynn is forced to make choices that she never anticipated in order to defeat Elize and protect those around her.

As is true with her other books, Stovall’s finale to her trilogy is long enough to build the plot, evolve its characters, and retreat into an ending that will have readers in tears.

That being said, I can’t recommend the Song of Souls Trilogy enough, especially now that Boundless has been released and the series is complete. Stovall put her heart and soul into this ending, and you will be completely absorbed in her world. Do pick up Boundless, and if you haven’t yet started the trilogy, please add it to your to-be-read list! You will thank me later.

Literary Vacation Club is BACK!

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!
I am super excited to announce that Literary Vacation Club is officially BACK! We are now accepting new subscriptions which will begin with our February Self-Love Box. Our newly revamped subscription is now all about bibliotherapy – the healing power of literature – and self-care.

Each of our subscriptions come with 2 books and 3 – 5 exclusive accessories to help you practice self-care and self-love. I am so grateful to be able to bring back this subscription with my best friend, Rebecca Levine, and we can’t wait to share this new phase of our business with you!

The Unexpected Hobby That Helps Me Manage My OCD

For as long as I can remember, I have suffered from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder — however, it was not until this past January that I was diagnosed and came to realize that my behaviors were linked to this disorder. OCD is one of the more highly stigmatized disorders in our society, and it is because of the beliefs I had surrounding OCD that I didn’t think that my behaviors qualified for a diagnosis. That was, until my psychiatrist explained me to what OCD really is.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is not being “excessively clean or neat”. OCD involves unwanted thoughts and or images that the sufferer suffers from, and in turn develops compulsive behaviors to somehow distract from the thoughts or images (otherwise known as obsessive). For example, my compulsive behaviors relate to numbers. For as long as I can remember I have had scary, unwanted thoughts that often occur about the people that are around me, and my mind turned to numbers to try and find relief. I count syllables in words that people are saying so much so that I don’t comprehend what they are trying to say, and I obsessively count notes in music and words that I hear on the radio or the television. I require the television to be on at all times as silence deeply impacts my scary thoughts, and I spend most of every minute or every day counting in some way or another.

I never knew that my behavior was considered “disordered” or out of the ordinary. It wasn’t until I was in treatment for Bulimia Nervosa that I received an OCD subsequent diagnosis and realized that my bulimic behaviors were connected to my intrusive thoughts as well. It took me a long time to grasp my new diagnosis and identify my compulsive behaviors as problematic, but with medication, therapy, and the help of some new crafts I have learned to manage my disorder and manage my intrusive thoughts.

That being said, out of medication, therapy, and crafts, crochet has been the single most helpful hobby that I have picked up on that has helped my OCD. It allows me to count in the form of stitches and manage my intrusive thoughts in a beautiful way. Crochet also helps me to feel productive as I can make things for loved ones and manage my OCD at the same time. Crochet has saved my life, and I am so thankful for how it has helped me to manage my intrusive thoughts, compulsive number counting, and bulimic behaviors as well.

Creating beautiful projects keeps my hands busy and helps to distract me from my thoughts. I love fashion and making crocheted clothing is one of my biggest passions now. I love being able to create something that will make someone else feel beautiful and comfortable, and this helps me to find solace in my disorder because of its role in my crochet. Instead of feeling ashamed or as though I am “not right”, I am thankful for my crafting abilities and how my disorder has played a part in a hobby that I find so beautiful in my life.

If you or a loved one are struggling with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, I highly recommend trying out a craft such as crochet, cross-stitch, coloring, etc.! All of these forms of arts and crafts have helped me tremendously in managing my disorder in a beautiful way, while helping me to live a fuller life. Let me know what helps you manage your OCD!

Book Review: Horrid by Katrina Leno

Rating: 3/5 (Worth Reading)



Synopsis

From the author of You Must Not Miss comes a haunting contemporary horror novel that explores themes of mental illness, rage, and grief, twisted with spine-chilling elements of Stephen King and Agatha Christie.

Following her father’s death, Jane North-Robinson and her mom move from sunny California to the dreary, dilapidated old house in Maine where her mother grew up. All they want is a fresh start, but behind North Manor’s doors lurks a history that leaves them feeling more alone…and more tormented.

As the cold New England autumn arrives, and Jane settles in to her new home, she finds solace in old books and memories of her dad. She steadily begins making new friends, but also faces bullying from the resident “bad seed,” struggling to tamp down her own worst nature in response. Jane’s mom also seems to be spiraling with the return of her childhood home, but she won’t reveal why. Then Jane discovers that the “storage room” her mom has kept locked isn’t for storage at all–it’s a little girl’s bedroom, left untouched for years and not quite as empty of inhabitants as it appears….

Is it grief? Mental illness? Or something more…horrid? 

Quick Take

Horrid by Katrina Leno is a unique, genre-bending novel that explores elements of grief, mental illness, and the dark side in all of us. Each page will have you wondering, is Jane really going crazy, or is what is happening to her something more sinister?

Tell Me More

I am a huge horror fanatic, so when my best friend gave me Horrid by Katrina Leno to read I couldn’t have been more excited. A horror novel with classic spooky elements like a haunted house and family secrets? Yes please! Going into reading this novel I knew that it was directed at a young adult audience so I knew it would be tamer than I usually seek in my horror novels, but I still couldn’t wait to read it. Leno crafted a story that not only includes classic spooky horror elements but addresses mental illness. This just about made my affections for her as a writer go through the roof. Her story kept the reader wondering whether Jane was experiencing a horror experience or mental illness – or both – and I appreciated the element of surprise she included.

Horrid follows Jane and her mother Ruth following the death of her father as they return to Ruth’s childhood home. Throughout the novel, Jane’s mental state is addressed as she begins to uncover more and more of her family’s past, and experiences some psychotic features that keep the reader wondering whether what she is experiencing is a psychotic episode or a classic haunting experience. Leno winds classic young adult themes such as fitting in to a new school and making friends with the unique struggles of mental illness and living in a haunted house to create a one of a kind novel that kept me interested until the very end.

My only struggle with this novel was that the majority of the horror elements were bunched into the last few pages of the book and it felt a bit rushed. The climax of the novel came around the end of the novel as well, and the ending seemed to come abruptly. I wish that the horror elements had been more evenly spaced and some of the events explained more thoroughly, but I do understand the author’s reasoning for piling the horror events up towards the end due to Jane’s progressing unstable mental state.

Horrid is an excellent first horror novel should you be looking to get into the genre. It is tame enough and provides the reader with enough relief to power on through without too much of a scare. If you are a fan of young adult novels you will also love Leno’s take on mental illness and grief. While this novel didn’t become one of my favorite horror novels, I enjoyed it and would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of classic spooky horror! You are in for a few hours to a few days of enjoyment.

Book Review: A Homeless Heart by Caren Cross and Jerremiah Stonecastle

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Rating: 3/5 (Worth Reading)



Synopsis

A homeless man is brought into the E.R. in a coma from being nearly beaten to death. Dr. Katherine Lehmann, a brilliant surgeon works tirelessly to save his life. Weeks later when he opens his eyes, a fire is started in her heart that was killed during a bitter divorce. Now she must figure out how to introduce her new love to high society, but she must first get past her bigoted father, hanging Judge Daniel Lehmann.

Review

A Homeless Heart is a romance novel by Caren Cross, and eclectic author,  Jerrimiah Stonecastle. Having read Stonecastle’s horror work before, I wasn’t sure what to expect when trying out the romantic side of his art; however, I was pleasantly surprised by his pleasurable dialogue and his strong female heroine.

Dr. Katherine Lehmann is a talented surgeon who saves the life of a severely injured man with whom she falls in love. Following a bad divorce, Dr. Lehmann’s heart was closed off, but she reopens herself to love in the weeks following the surgery when the man finally opens his eyes. I found this storyline to be classic, but with a twist, and I enjoyed Stonecastle’s take on class differences and prejudice when it comes to matters of the heart.

My only quip with A Homeless Heart was that the writing seemed choppy at times, and I found myself having to push through in some areas. However, I enjoyed the unique, yet classic storyline and the way that Stonecastle developed his characters and urged them to grow with one another as the story continued.

If you are a romance fanatic, then you are going to adore A Homeless Heart. It provides the reader with all of the classic elements of romance while presenting a dominant heroine who you can’t help but root for. This romance novel and its characters are not to be missed!

HELP NEEDED! Scentsy Fundraiser for LVC

Happy Friday, Everyone!

I hope you are having a good day and are looking forward to the weekend!

I am working hard with my best friend Rebecca to get Literary Vacation Club lined up and ready to get in 2021, and right now we are in the process of raising funds to help get us up and running. We have decided to sell Scentsy to try and raise the funds we need to get LVC kicked off, and I am here to ask you to take a look at what Scentsy has to offer and possibly ask you to support our mission by making a purchase!

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We are also looking to expand our team by sponsoring new consultants, so if you are interested in joining Scentsy and making some extra money, please let me know!

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Thank you so much for all of your love and support! It means the world to me. I am so happy I’ve been able to share my love of reading and writing with you all of these years, and I am always amazed by the support I receive. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments!

Much love,

Ashley

Holiday Shopping Bonanza

Hello Again, Everyone!

I wanted to take a moment and tell you about some of the new Scentsy products I am selling this holiday season. Selling Scentsy provides me with an income that allows me to keep up this blog and all of my articles, and I would be overjoyed if you would take a moment to look at my site and see if there is anything that you might like. Our scents create the best reading atmosphere and will accommodate any space. I am absolutely obsessed with the quality of our products and I would be happy to help you find the scent that is perfect for you! Feel free to reach out to me at peachykeenreviews@gmail.com if you need anything help!

Thank you for your support!

Ashley

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[image error] Our Scentsy bricks are equivalent to 5 Scentsy bars! They come in a variety of scents, many of which are new for the holiday season. They make awesome stocking stuffers!

[image error]Our hand soaps come in the best holiday scents and they make your hands so soft! I highly recommend them (they make great stocking stuffers as well!)



[image error] On a budge> Check out our gifts under $25! These include numerous bundles for gift giving to multiple loved ones.



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Authors Wanted

Happy November 1, Everyone!

I hope you had a great Halloween. Today I wanted to let you know that my business partner Becca and I are in the process of reviewing books to feature in our book box, Literary Vacation Club, and we are in need of interested authors! It does not cost anything to have your book featured, all we require is a digital review copy of your book and a bulk discount on hard copies should we decide to purchase your book for our box.

If you or anyone you know is an author, please share our author interest form with them! All genres are welcome, as long as there aren’t extensive sexual or violent themes.

Email us at support@literaryvacationclub.com if you have any questions!

Much love,

Ashley

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FILL OUT FORM HERE

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSenaN9QQ32Yr-tei9sZD3GQNJ7bI10XYQ3g0Mu-SFuPaXiJBQ/viewform

Literary Vacation Club is Returning in 2021

Happy Friday, Bibliophiles!

I hope you are having a great day and are getting excited for the weekend! I have some super exciting news for you today.

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After over a year of being on hiatus, I have decided to re-open Literary Vacation Club with my best friend, Rebecca Levine. This past year I have been dealing with medical problems, but now that I am getting better, I decided that I wanted to return to my passion of providing you with unique books and gifts, with a new emphasis on self-care. We are also going to have a virtual collective community just for you and all who love using books in self-care! And I am so excited that my best friend is going to join me!

Starting in January we will be releasing review boxes to get started and move on from there.

To get updates of our progress join our newsletter here: www.literaryvacationclub.com

Let me know if you have any questions right now!

Much love,

Ashley