Sage Nestler's Blog, page 15

The Body Positive Maven: An Interview with Artist Lindley Ashline

Recently I had the pleasure to meet and work with a wonderful lady named Lindley Ashline who is the body-positive icon of my dreams. She is the owner and creator of The Body Love Box (a body-positive, LGBTQA+ friendly, and racially diverse subscription box) as well as a photographer who helps women feel secure and beautiful in their bodies. Please enjoy my interview with her below, and be sure to stay up to date with her on social media!

About Lindley

Lindley Ashline (pronounced LIN-lee, she/her) creates artwork that celebrates the unique value of bodies that fall outside conventional “beauty” standards. Lindley is also the creator of Body Liberation Stock and the Body Love Box. She lives outside Seattle with her husband and two feline overlords.

1)   I absolutely love the fact that you use photography as a liberating force to celebrate larger bodies. What made you decide to start a photography business with this mission?

I’d been involved in the fat acceptance movement (of which the body positivity movement is an offshoot) since around 2007, and a nature photographer since 2002. So when I started pursuing portrait photography seriously in 2015, I knew that I wanted to serve people in larger bodies.

Fat folks were (and are) drastically underserved in the photography market and face the same levels of prejudice and stigma when looking for a photographer as we do in all other aspects of life. Most photographers have no idea how to work with or pose larger bodies, and don’t provide a safe and comfortable environment for fat people. I’ve even heard of wedding photographers turning down clients due to their body size.

While I was training in preparation to open my own photography business, a very fat friend had an experience in which she agreed to model and be photographed in a very vulnerable way by a photographer who then didn’t even publish any of her photographs or include them in his portfolio, leaving her feeling used and neglected.

Hearing my friend talk about that experience really solidified my desire to provide a completely safe, judgement-free, celebratory space for people in all kinds of marginalized bodies to get in front of a camera. It also illustrated why the overall experience is so important in making people who don’t often see images of people with bodies like theirs feel supported, so I built my sessions based on that.

Depending on where each person is on their body acceptance journeys, seeing themselves in images can range from a challenging to a jubilant experience, and I’m so happy and proud to be the photographer who gets to facilitate that journey for so many people.

2) You are also the creator of The Body Love Box, a subscription that I think is so important for the body love and fat positive movement. Did your work as a photographer influence your passion about supporting other fat positive artists through your box?

It did. As a small business owner in a body that experiences a lot of stigma, I know what it’s like to struggle with both the universal travails of running a small business and the weight of marginalization on top.

It’s been such a fun opportunity to support a whole bunch of artists, crafters and small business owners who are fat, people of color, and members of the LGBT+ community. It can be a really, really big deal for an artist to get an order for 50 or 100 of their items! And because I don’t haggle or ask small businesses for items for free or at cut rates (unlike most subscription boxes, which run on free or heavily-discounted items), but pay a reasonable wholesale rate, each artist gets a real living wage for their work.

3) What inspired you to create The Body Love Box?

For years, I’d been collecting body-positive items (like little art prints, buttons and stickers) to give my photography clients. When subscription boxes became really popular, I did some research and realized that no one was offering a fat-positive subscription.

And though I’m no longer offering monthly subscriptions, the original idea evolved into what’s now the Body Love Shop, which is fast becoming a central shopping location for body-positive, fat-positive and HAES products and artwork, both as individual items and as part of Body Love Boxes.

4) Do you ever feature your photography in The Body Love Box?

I do! Two of my fine art photographic prints, “Unicorn Summer” and “The Wind on My Skin,” have been included in Body Love Boxes. They’re now available for purchase individually in the shop.

5) What are your thoughts about The Health at Every Size Approach?

I’m not exaggerating when I say that Health at Every Size, or HAES, changed my life. Those of us who live in fat bodies are told constantly, explicitly and implicitly, in a thousand different ways every day that our bodies are aberrations. They’re inherently unhealthy. They’re gross. They’re non-compliant. They’re a visible symbol of our sinful, gluttonous and lazy natures.

Spending a few years in the fat acceptance community gave me the confidence to reject many of these messages and beliefs, but medical shame was so hard to shake. From the university health center doctor who told me (without asking about my eating habits or family history) that I would have diabetes within ten years unless I lost half my body weight, to the doctor who later prescribed me a medication off-label to try to make me lose weight (and lied to me about it), I’d been told by too many authority figures that my body was bad.

When I first encountered the HAES framework, I was pretty skeptical. Sure, my body is inherently worthy, but it’s also fat, and that just can’t be healthy, right? But I’m a person who likes numbers and evidence, and HAES immediately challenged me: If weight loss is the only way to be healthy, why doesn’t it work? Why do 95-percent-plus of weight loss attempts fail? Why doesn’t a single method of losing weight work in the long term?

Like most of us, my beliefs about health and body size had been gleaned from a lifetime of news articles, advertisements, salespeople, and just-so stories. Turns out? None of those sources was actually based on science. We just don’t have a way to make fat people thin in the long term, and in fact, weight cycling — losing and gaining as we go from one diet to another — may actually be worse for us health-wise than just staying the same size.

So if I couldn’t make myself thin, how could I possibly be healthy? That’s where HAES really stepped up. The HAES approach says that no matter what kind of body we live in, we can pursue healthy behaviors without pursuing weight loss that’s doomed to fail.

Following the HAES and intuitive eating philosophies have both helped me work toward body acceptance and improved my health in many different ways.

6) Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a condition that is often connected to larger women, and those affected by PCOS are often stigmatized (myself included). How do you think we can increase awareness about PCOS and end stigmatization?

It’s incredibly important that we as a culture acknowledge that, like type 2 diabetes, PCOS isn’t a punishment for your body size or your food intake. Both smaller- and larger-bodied people have PCOS, diabetes, heart conditions, and every other illness humans experience. There are no diseases that only affect fat people.

Today, PCOS awareness seems to suffer from both a lack of awareness and too much awareness. People in relatively small bodies often have trouble accessing diagnosis and treatment, since PCOS has been labeled a fat woman’s issue. And as a fat woman, let me tell you that now every doctor who’s heard of PCOS wants to diagnose me with it, purely due to my body size, despite my complete lack of PCOS symptoms.

Ending the stigma associated with PCOS is going to require that we dismantle diet culture, because as long as we believe that we can reliably make larger bodies smaller (we can’t) and that body size is an indicator of health (it isn’t), we’ll continue to see weight stigma deprive both large and small people of proper PCOS care.

There’s a fabulous article at Wear Your Voice Mag that goes deeper into the issues caused by adding diet culture to discussions of and beliefs around PCOS.

7) What is your advice for larger women who are looking to increase their self-confidence?

There are many different ways you can increase your confidence, but for me, one of the most important was to change my “media diet:” the images and messages we take in over time.

Take a few days and just observe what media sources you take in, and how you feel about your body and other bodies after being exposed to each one.

– How does Instagram make you feel after scrolling for a while?

– How about Facebook?

– How about the magazines at the checkout stand?

– How about the magazines that arrive at your home?

– How about the ads on the bus or subway?

– How about TV shows? TV advertisements?

– How about the radio?

.

You’re allowed to consume whatever you want, in any amounts you want! I am definitely not saying you need to cut yourself off from the world. Just be aware for a few days of what you’re taking in, how it makes you feel about your own body, and how it makes you feel about other bodies — positive or negative.

Then, start adding in some sources that talk about bodies positively, and sources that feature bodies that look like yours. Just seeing bodies that look like ours can make a tremendous difference in what we see as normal and good.

8) Our country is heavily focused on diet culture and the “battle of the bulge” (a term that I find highly insulting). How do you think that we can fight the stigma surrounding individuals in larger bodies in a culture that is so focused on dieting and body weight?

This is such a complicated topic! How do we change an entire culture? How do we stop oppression? It can seem really overwhelming.

But the good news is that this kind of sea change is really made up of a million small choices, and we can make some of those choices — and changes — ourselves.

Changing the way that you personally see bodies, your own and others’, makes a big difference. I’m also talking on Instagram every Monday about concrete actions you can take to change culture and end weight stigma.

9) How do you see the fat positive movement growing in 2020?

This is an interesting question, because in many ways the body positive movement, which was built on (and occasionally takes unfair advantage of the work done by) the fat acceptance movement, claims most of the media and social media attention these days.

One of the ways I see real fat acceptance growing is in the revitalization of NAAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, which has existed for over 50 years and was one of the original forces working to end weight stigma and promote rights for fat folks. I’m seeing some really exciting internal work at NAAFA to involve younger members, redo the website, make the work that’s already been done more accessible and available to use, and get new projects rolling.

NAAFA’s long history, media contacts and ability to advocate with governments for fat rights are incredibly valuable. Membership is open, so check out their site to get involved.

10) What are some wise words that you can give women who are struggling with their self-image?

Wherever you’re at today, that’s okay! If you can’t stand to look in a mirror, that’s okay. If you can’t imagine what body love or acceptance look like, that’s okay too. Body positivity can seem like just another impossible goal that’s put in front of us, but you know what? If you can look towards feeling neutral about your body, that’s a great place to be, too, and it’s way more achievable for many people.

Keep Up with Lindley

Body Liberation Photos:

http://www.bodyliberationphotos.com
Instagram: @bodyliberationwithlindley
Facebook: Body Liberation with Lindley Ashline

Body Love Box & Shop:

http://www.thebodyloveshop.com
Instagram: @thebodylovebox
Facebook: The Body Love Box

Book Review: Wild Rose Pass by Karen Hulene Bartell

Rating: 5/5

Cadence McShane, free-spirited nonconformist, yearns to escape the rigid code, clothes, and sidesaddles of 1880s military society in Fort Davis, Texas. She finds the daring new lieutenant exhilarating, but as the daughter of the commanding officer, she is expected to keep with family tradition and marry West Point graduate James West.

Orphaned, Comanche-raised, and always the outsider looking in, Ben Williams yearns to belong. Cadence embodies everything he craves, but as a battlefield-commissioned officer with the Buffalo Soldiers instead of a West Point graduate, he is neither accepted into military society nor considered marriageable.

Can two people of different worlds, drawn together by conflicting needs, flout society and forge a life together on the frontier?

Quick Take

Wild Rose Pass is a rip-roaring Western that brings with it exhilarating romance and high-stakes adventure.  It is one of the best Western novels I have read in a long time!

Tell Me More

Western novels – particularly Western romances – are my guilty pleasure, and I couldn’t resist picking up Wild Rose Pass due to its frontier appeal.  But this novel was so much more than I expected it to be.  Karen Hulene Bartell pours her heart and soul into her writing, and I could feel the story surrounding me as I read.

Cadence McShane, the novel’s female protagonist, is a brave, independent woman who is conflicted between becoming the person her family expects of her, or following her heart and creating a life on the frontier.  Ben Williams – the novel’s male protagonist – is a man deemed “unmarriageable” due to his experience with the Buffalo Soldiers instead of West Point, but he immediately catches Cadence’s eye.  Ben and Cadence form an intense attraction that leads them to choose between becoming what is expected of them, or defying society and leading a life together on the frontier.

The beauty of Wild Rose Pass is that it is a high-stakes adventure as much as it is a steamy romance.  The author created such beautiful imagery throughout the novel that I felt as though I were part of the story, and it was clear that she had done extensive research to ensure that her novel was historically accurate.  Wild Rose Pass is one of the best Western novels I have read in a long time due to its enticing story and historical accuracy.  Cadence and Ben are characters who will be in my head for a long time, and I am so happy that I go to know them.

If you are a fan of Western novels, may they be historical, adventure, or romance, then you are going to adore Wild Rose Pass!  This is a great novel that transports you into the story as you read, and it is a perfect choice if you are in need of an escape.  There are even recipes included in the back of the novel to help you bring the frontier to life.  Wild Rose Pass is a gorgeous adventure that will stay with me for days to come!

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The Horror Genre: An Antidote for Anxiety

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!

I hope you are doing okay and staying healthy (both mentally and physically).  I am still dealing with my symptoms related to COVID-19, as well as maintaining my self-isolation, so I wanted to share with you one of my favorite techniques for managing anxiety.

I struggle with Major Depressive Disorder, Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Complex PTSD.  Mental health management is a huge passion of mine, and I am constantly sharing the benefits of alternative forms of therapy, such as bibliotherapy and art therapy.

But there is one technique in particular that has helped me the most with managing my OCD and PTSD related anxiety: the horror genre.

I have long been a fan of horror in all formats (books, TV, movies, music, comics, etc), and recently I have been exploring the positive effects of horror on anxiety.  I find that I am constantly struggling with managing my anxiety, but the one time that it seems to fade is when I am watching a horror movie/TV show, or reading a scary book.  The horror genre tends to use more of your brain’s thinking capacity, and by instilling feelings of dread and anxiety through its stories, it provides an outlet for you to express your anxiety and release bodily tension.  Many times I feel worn out after watching a horror movie because I spend the entire time exerting my anxious emotions, but I also feel relieved at the end – like how crying often feels.

If you are currently struggling with stress or anxiety, why not try to watch some of my suggestions below with your full attention and see how you feel!  I am listing my top favorite horror films since these are easily accessible to watch on many streaming platforms, and can provide a good distraction during these unsettling times.

(Of course, this may not be appropriate for you if you are extremely sensitive to violence, which can worsen your anxiety – so please do proceed with caution)

My Top 5 Horror Films
1) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

In this remake of the horror classic, a group of young travelers — including Erin (Jessica Biel), Andy (Mike Vogel) and Morgan (Jonathan Tucker) — comes across an isolated rural home while driving through Texas. Unfortunately for them, the decrepit house is the residence of a family of deranged backwoods killers, most notably a hulking masked brute known as Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski), who begins to hunt the stranded youths down. Will any of the friends survive the nightmarish ordeal?

*.*.*

My #1 favorite horror movie is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake from 2003.  I am choosing the remake because it is scarier (in my opinion) and all-consuming.  However, you can try the original film if you would like.  It is a bit different, but still offers an intense feeling of dread.

(GORE AND VIOLENCE WARNING – Proceed with caution)    

2) The Exorcist

One of the most profitable horror movies ever made, this tale of an exorcism is based loosely on actual events. When young Regan (Linda Blair) starts acting odd — levitating, speaking in tongues — her worried mother (Ellen Burstyn) seeks medical help, only to hit a dead end. A local priest (Jason Miller), however, thinks the girl may be seized by the devil. The priest makes a request to perform an exorcism, and the church sends in an expert (Max von Sydow) to help with the difficult job.

*.*.*

The Exorcist is still one of the scariest horror movies I have ever seen, and it is sure to bring out the chills in you.  I am particularly sensitive to horror that involves satanic possession, so if this is a sensitive area for you as well, please proceed with caution!

3) Terrifier

A maniacal clown terrorizes three young women and anyone else in his way on Halloween night.

*.*.*

This movie is an excellent mix of demonic clowns and gore that doesn’t hold back!  I found myself cringing throughout this entire film, while amazed at how far it went.  If you are afraid of clowns and sensitive to gore, then this pick may just be the most intense one for you.

(HUGE Violence/Gore Warning)

4) Misery

After a serious car crash, novelist Paul Sheldon (James Caan) is rescued by former nurse Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), who claims to be his biggest fan. Annie brings him to her remote cabin to recover, where her obsession takes a dark turn when she discovers Sheldon is killing off her favorite character from his novels. As Sheldon devises plans for escape, Annie grows increasingly controlling, even violent, as she forces the author to shape his writing to suit her twisted fantasies.

*.*.*

Misery is the first Stephen King book that I ever read, and its movie is still one of my favorites.  It is definitely an isolating, psychological horror that will make you feel more than uncomfortable, but it is also appropriate for the times we are living in now.  Also, if you get the chance, read the book!  It is quite different from the film and provides a completely different experience.

5) Hereditary

When the matriarch of the Graham family passes away, her daughter and grandchildren begin to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry, trying to outrun the sinister fate they have inherited.

*.*.*

Hereditary is a highly original horror that requires your full attention.  There are so many sinister little details throughout it that add to the overall dread of the film.  It does have some gore in it, but it is mostly psychological.  When you have your full attention on this movie, you will experience how the dread builds up within you and explodes by the end.

Bonus Gift

Shudder is a streaming service that exclusively features horror and thriller movies, shorts, and TV shows (many of which are created specifically for the channel!) 

Due to the current circumstances in the world, Shudder is offering a FREE 30 day trial with the code “SHUTIN”

Be sure to take advantage of this offer to explore well-known horror as well as unknown gems.  This is a great way to explore horror on your own to find out what you like!  I will make another post tomorrow highlighting some of my favorite gems from Shudder.  

(I am not an affiliate for Shudder, I’m just a huge fan of what they do)

Much love,

Ashley

Update – I am Symptomatic for Covid-19

Happy Monday, Everyone!

I really hope that all of you are doing okay and are staying healthy.

Over the weekend, I became symptomatic for covid-19, and I have been in isolation to try and protect others.  This has become an even scarier time for me, and I know how hard it must be on all of you as well.  Please know that I am here for you if any of you need someone to talk to.

I just wanted to check in with everyone and see how you all are doing, and to start up a conversation about what you are currently reading.  Reading continues to be my safe haven, and I hope that you are utilizing its healing powers as well!

So, let’s keep each other company in isolation!

What are you currently reading/listening to, and how you are holding up?  Share with me in the comments!

Much love,

Ashley

How to Use This ‘Emotion Chart’ to Pick Your Next Quarantine Read

Books have always been a safe haven for me.  Ever since I was young, I have found solace in and healing through reading.  My healing experience with reading has led me to become a huge advocate for Bibliotherapy (the use of books as therapeutic tools).  I am so excited to share this easily accessible form of therapy with you!  Now is an excellent time to practice using books as therapy if you are self-isolating, and reading is something that you can share with anyone (including little ones) in your home.

If you would like to practice Bibliotherapy with your loved ones, use the steps below in a group format to create meaningful connections and discussion!  Even if you are not in the space house, you can video chat, text, or talk on the phone to create that connection.  If you have young children, you can guide their reading by helping them identify their emotions and asking them questions about their book as you read together.

 

5 Steps for Practicing Bibliotherapy
1) Identify Your Emotions

The first step to practicing bibliotherapy is identifying your emotions.  When you identify the emotions you are experiencing, you can better understand what you are hoping to get out of reading books as a therapeutic process, while increasing your emotional intelligence.  (This is also a great practice to help little ones learn to communicate and identify their emotions)

For example, if you are feeling sad, maybe you want to feel uplifted and inspired through reading.  Or, maybe you want to sit with your feeling of sadness and read a book that will amplify this emotion.

Use this handy emotion wheel to better identify your feelings!

2) Determine what emotion(s) you would like to amplify

Now, choose any emotion(s) that you would like to increase.  For example, maybe you want to increase feelings of contentment and peace, or you want to explore anxiety or anger.  Knowing what emotions you desire will help guide your reading choices.

(You can use the emotion wheel for this step as well!)

Tip: Horror and thriller novels are excellent reading sources for amplifying and releasing anxiety

3) Choose a genre

Determining the genre you would like to explore is your next course of action.  Create a list of genres that you associate with the emotion(s) you would like to increase to narrow down your reading choices.

Here is a list of the most common book genres:

Fantasy
Adventure
Romance
Contemporary
Dystopian
Mystery
Horror
Thriller
Paranormal
Historical fiction
Science Fiction
Memoir
Cooking
Art
Self-help / Personal
Development
Motivational
Health
History
Travel
Guide / How-to
Families & Relationships
Humor
Children’s

4) Choose a book

Locate in your personal library any books that are in the genres you have chosen.  If you have a Kindle, you can also go to the Kindle store on Amazon.com and type in “Free (genre) Books” – inserting your desired genre into your search.  Numerous authors are offering their books for free right now, and this is a great way to find some new reads!

5) Begin reading and document your emotions throughout the process

As you read, keep a journal and write (or draw) about what the book is making you feel, and how your emotions might be changing or amplifying as you read, as well as any thoughts or insights you are having as you read.  If you have others at home with you, you can also discuss your experience with them in a group format.  Make this a fun process, and allow yourself to be completely absorbed into your book!  (If you are practicing this with little ones, you can use art or toys to express thoughts and emotions about what you are reading – you can even make it a show and tell process!)

Reading is such a great way to expand your imagination and increase your sense of connection and wellbeing.  In our world, we have become so busy that reading is often put on the back burner.  Use this time as a gift to dive into the beauty of the literary world and make meaningful connections with loved ones – and with yourself. I hope that these steps will help you to take full advantage of the healing power of books!

5 Steps for Using Books as Therapy During Self-Isolation

Books have always been a safe haven for me.  Ever since I was young, I have found solace in and healing through reading.  My healing experience with reading has led me to become a huge advocate for Bibliotherapy (the use of books as therapeutic tools).  I am so excited to share this easily accessible form of therapy with you!  Now is an excellent time to practice using books as therapy if you are self-isolating, and reading is something that you can share with anyone (including little ones) in your home.

If you would like to practice Bibliotherapy with your loved ones, use the steps below in a group format to create meaningful connections and discussion!  Even if you are not in the space house, you can video chat, text, or talk on the phone to create that connection.  If you have young children, you can guide their reading by helping them identify their emotions and asking them questions about their book as you read together.

 

5 Steps for Practicing Bibliotherapy
1) Identify Your Emotions

The first step to practicing bibliotherapy is identifying your emotions.  When you identify the emotions you are experiencing, you can better understand what you are hoping to get out of reading books as a therapeutic process, while increasing your emotional intelligence.  (This is also a great practice to help little ones learn to communicate and identify their emotions)

For example, if you are feeling sad, maybe you want to feel uplifted and inspired through reading.  Or, maybe you want to sit with your feeling of sadness and read a book that will amplify this emotion.

Use this handy emotion wheel to better identify your feelings!

2) Determine what emotion(s) you would like to amplify

Now, choose any emotion(s) that you would like to increase.  For example, maybe you want to increase feelings of contentment and peace, or you want to explore anxiety or anger.  Knowing what emotions you desire will help guide your reading choices.

(You can use the emotion wheel for this step as well!)

Tip: Horror and thriller novels are excellent reading sources for amplifying and releasing anxiety

3) Choose a genre

Determining the genre you would like to explore is your next course of action.  Create a list of genres that you associate with the emotion(s) you would like to increase to narrow down your reading choices.

Here is a list of the most common book genres:

Fantasy
Adventure
Romance
Contemporary
Dystopian
Mystery
Horror
Thriller
Paranormal
Historical fiction
Science Fiction
Memoir
Cooking
Art
Self-help / Personal
Development
Motivational
Health
History
Travel
Guide / How-to
Families & Relationships
Humor
Children’s

4) Choose a book

Locate in your personal library any books that are in the genres you have chosen.  If you have a Kindle, you can also go to the Kindle store on Amazon.com and type in “Free (genre) Books” – inserting your desired genre into your search.  Numerous authors are offering their books for free right now, and this is a great way to find some new reads!

5) Begin reading and document your emotions throughout the process

As you read, keep a journal and write (or draw) about what the book is making you feel, and how your emotions might be changing or amplifying as you read, as well as any thoughts or insights you are having as you read.  If you have others at home with you, you can also discuss your experience with them in a group format.  Make this a fun process, and allow yourself to be completely absorbed into your book!  (If you are practicing this with little ones, you can use art or toys to express thoughts and emotions about what you are reading – you can even make it a show and tell process!)

Reading is such a great way to expand your imagination and increase your sense of connection and wellbeing.  In our world, we have become so busy that reading is often put on the back burner.  Use this time as a gift to dive into the beauty of the literary world and make meaningful connections with loved ones – and with yourself. I hope that these steps will help you to take full advantage of the healing power of books!

FREE BOOK ALERT

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!

I hope that you are staying healthy and taking care of yourself through this stressful time.

Yesterday, I shared with you my top 10 Books to Keep You Company in Self-Isolation, and today I am excited to share with you numerous books that are being offered for FREE on Kindle right now.  So many authors have banded together by offering their books for free to encourage you to dive into books if you are currently self-isolating.  Reading is a wonderful way to keep your mind busy and relieve stress, and there are so many lovely picks up for grabs.  (Hot tip: search “free books” under Kindle store on Amazon.com and you will be met with a plethora of free book titles in just about every genre.)

I hope that you enjoy any of the free books listed below, and I wish you happy reading!

Much love,

Ashley

Free Books for Kindle

An Amazon top 100 bestseller of 2019

Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish.

Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity’s recollection of the night their family was forever altered.

Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her.

Due to graphic scenes and mature content, this book is recommended for readers 18+.

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Murders happen. But not with employees of the same company in Oil Camps in the high Arctic and Northern Canada. Two detectives, one from Alaska and one from Canada are given the case. They find the murders are connected. Now, they have to work together to find out why the victims were silenced. What secrets did their deaths conceal?

Frank Mueller, the Alaskan Detective is close to retirement. He’s been through three marriages and two stints in rehab. He is on probation with the force. He knows the Anchorage Police department has given him this case because they don’t want it investigated fully and there’s no booze in the Arctic oil camps.

Bernadette Callahan, the Canadian Detective, is in her mid thirties with a lot to prove on the force. She is Cree Indian and Irish, raised on a native reservation in Northern Canada. She’s been ingrained with the ways of the ‘people,’ by her grandmother that have given her instincts.  Her instincts tell her there is something more than four dead people—someone is settling a score. The real crime will happen soon.

The oil companies think the deaths are bad for publicity they want them solved quickly. The detectives are under pressure to come up with a verdict they know is wrong.

Callahan begins to unravel a series of unlikely suspects. A Chemistry Professor with a grudge against big oil, a Mexican low life gangster and Wall Street Executives. How are they connected?

Something is about to happen to oil supplies in the Arctic. The two Detectives can sense it. They know it’s real—can they convince others to act?

This novel is the first in Bernadette Callahan Detective Mystery/Thriller series. A female detective in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, where being a hardheaded woman who uses her instincts is not always welcome.

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#1 New York Times bestseller

Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past she wishes could just stay buried.

Sky struggles to keep him at a distance knowing he’s nothing but trouble, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. After finally caving to his unwavering pursuit, Sky soon finds that Holder isn’t at all who he’s been claiming to be. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever.

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Living in the quaint farming village of Brittendell offered a simple life of home and family. When Aislynn, the daughter of a local farmer, and Rorin, the son of a wealthy horse trader, married, another charming love story enlivened the tranquil town. Aislynn and Rorin were profoundly connected, but their relationship came to a screeching halt when Rorin was killed in a tragic accident. Their bond sends Aislynn into a spiraling depression as she continues sensing Rorin’s presence. Soon, Aislynn finds herself thrust into a dangerous world of magic filled with hobgoblins, elves, and wizards. When Aislynn is captured by the future king of Venallis and forced to help him uncover a mysterious magical artifact she discovers that fate has far greater plans for her than she ever imagined. Perhaps death is not always the end.

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13 full length paranormal and urban fantasy novels featuring witches, vampires, werewolves, mermaids, psychics, Loki, time travel and more!

1.3 MILLION words! 3,500 PAGES!

Darkangel by Christine Pope

Twin Souls by K.A. Poe

The Girl by Lola St Vil

More Than a Feeling by Cate Dean

Drowning Mermaids by Nadia Scrieva

Wolves by C. Gockel

The Witch Hunter by Nicole R Taylor

Beyond the Fortuneteller’s Tent by Kristy Tate

Nolander by Becca Mills

The Medium by C.J. Archer

Dream Student by J.J. DiBendetto

Deception by Stacy Claflin

The Black Parade by Kyoko M.

The Thought Readers by Dima Zales

Each of these novels are FULL LENGTH BOOKS and are the first in each one’s respective series.

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Kira thought she knew everything about her best friend, Haylee. But when Haylee commits suicide immediately after her first date with her longtime crush, Bradley Johansen, Kira is left with nothing but questions, and a gaping hole in her life where Haylee used to be.

Kira is sure that the answers to her questions must be written in Haylee’s journal, but she’s not the only one searching for it. The more Kira learns about Haylee’s past, the more certain she is that other people grieving for Haylee are keeping secrets—especially Bradley, and Haylee’s attractive older cousin Nick. Kira is desperate to get to Haylee’s journal before anyone else finds it—to discover the truth about what happened to Haylee—

And to hide the things that Haylee wrote down about her.

From the author of Chasing the Skip comes Everything’s Fine, a new contemporary YA novel about secrets and loss, and the winner of the 2007 Utah Arts Council award for Best Young Adult Novel.

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Criminal profiler in training (and newlywed) Jessie Hunt, 29, discovers that dark secrets lurk in her new suburban town; when a body turns up dead, she finds herself caught in the crosshairs of her newfound friends, her husband’s secrets, her serial killer caseload—and the secrets of her own dark past.

In THE PERFECT WIFE (A Jessie Hunt Psychological Suspense Thriller—Book One), Criminal profiler-in-training Jessie Hunt is sure she’s finally put the darkness of her childhood behind her. She and her husband, Kyle, just moved from a cramped downtown Los Angeles apartment into a Westport Beach mansion. Kyle’s promotion has them swimming in money. And Jessie is on the verge of getting her Master’s degree in forensic psychology, the last step in her dream of becoming a criminal profiler.

But soon after their arrival, Jessie begins to notice a series of strange developments. The neighbors—and their au pairs—all seem to be hiding secrets. The mysterious yacht club Kyle is desperate to join is rife with cheating spouses, and with troubling rules of its own. And the notorious serial killer being held at the psychiatric hospital where Jessie is completing her degree seems to know more about her life than is normal—or safe.

As her world starts to unravel, Jessie begins to question everything around her—including her own sanity. Has she truly uncovered a disturbing conspiracy buried within a sunny, wealthy Southern California beach town? Does the mass murderer she’s studying really somehow know the origin of her private nightmares?

Or has her tortured past finally come back to claim her?

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Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

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Most days it’s manageable. No more than a quiet wondering around the edges of her mind.

What has become of the baby she left behind?

Smiling through the pain and suffering in silence, Leslie Laudon marches forward. Embracing the life skillfully designed by her husband Paul. Living right could be penance for an impossible choice made with an uneasy heart. Dutiful and anchoring, Leslie poured herself into her other children. Nurturing them through infancy, protecting them as toddlers, guiding them as teens. As her youngest child heads off to college with her suitcases and coordinating dorm room accessories, so goes Leslie’s identity. The chaotic life of a busy working mother threatens to become dangerously quiet. Quiet enough to hear the voices she’s tried to silence for decades.

Gwen Fox was adopted by two perfect people. Noel and Millie have always treated her the same as their two biological sons. Her parents love is strong and unwavering, yet a soul-deep ache still lingers. Plagued by an unnamed, hard to explain, longing Gwen could never shake.

Riddled with doubt and dragged down by the undertow of unanswered questions, Leslie and Gwen both find their lives suddenly upended. One seeks the truth about the day she was born. The other seeks herself, the woman she was before motherhood. Before she made a choice to leave a piece of her heart lying asleep in the hospital nursery.

In this complex journey for answers, blame is abundant. Guilt is thick enough to choke on. Marriages are brought to the brink of disaster. As the ripples of the past vibrate through their lives, Gwen and Leslie realize there is no turning back. What they have put into motion cannot be stopped. The road toward the truth will be littered with casualties.

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It’s time for the dragon marked to rise…

Jessa Lebron doesn’t have a lot to complain about. Her father is the alpha of their wolf pack, she lives in Stratford, a protected supernatural prison town, and her best friends, the Compass quads, are the strongest dudes of the four races: shifter, vampire, fey, and magic user.

Yep, life is pretty much exactly how she wants it. Until the fateful day, just after her twenty-second birthday, when the mother who abandoned her, returns to the pack bearing secrets that change everything.

The biggest secret of all: Jessa is dragon marked, a designation that places her in grave danger.

For a thousand years, every supernatural child born with the mark was eliminated to prevent the rise of the dragon king, a fearsome ancient warmonger. In a bid to learn more about her fate and how to avoid the hunters, Jessa finds herself locked in Vanguard, the notorious supernatural prison. Thankfully she’s not alone. Braxton Compass, the most feared of the dragon shifters, is right there with her. Together they’ll have to survive long enough to free themselves and the other dragon marked.

Before the king rises.

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10 Books to Keep You Company in Self-Isolation

Hello, Everyone!

I know that things are pretty scary in the world right now concerning the Coronavirus Pandemic, and many of us are being forced to self-isolate, which is why I wanted to write to you today.  Self-isolation is so trying for our mental health and overall wellbeing, but I have found that books are an excellent way to help us ease stress and work through these difficult times.

Therefore, I wanted to provide you with a list of 10 of my favorite books that have helped me when I needed a mental escape and books that I hope will help you as well!  All of these books provide fantastic imagery to help consume your imagination, and they are representative of various genres.  No matter what your preferred genre is, you should find at least one title that catches your fancy!

All of these books can be found on Kindle or Nook for instant access, or Amazon and Barnes and Noble for delivery, so you won’t have to worry about going out and purchasing them if you are unable to do so.

With all this being said, if you are struggling with anxiety, fear, or your mental/physical health due to the Coronavirus pandemic and you would like support, please feel free to comment below!  I am here for you, and I will do my best to help you with any concerns or companionship you may need.

Much love,

Ashley

My Top 10 Books to Keep You Company in Self-Isolation

1. The Inspirational Pick

Gmorning, Gnight!  Little Pep Talks for You and Me by Lin-Manuel Miranda

“When the world is bringing you down, Gmorning, Gnight! will remind you that you are awesome.”—Booklist

Good morning. Do NOT get stuck in the comments section of life today. Make, do, create the things. Let others tussle it out. Vamos!

Before he inspired the world with Hamilton and was catapulted to international fame, Lin-Manuel Miranda was inspiring his Twitter followers with words of encouragement at the beginning and end of each day. He wrote these original sayings, aphorisms, and poetry for himself as much as for others. But as Miranda’s audience grew, these messages took on a life on their own. Now Miranda has gathered the best of his daily greetings into a beautiful collection illustrated by acclaimed artist (and fellow Twitter favorite) Jonny Sun. Full of comfort and motivation, Gmorning, Gnight! is a touchstone for anyone who needs a quick lift.

Gmorning, Gnight!  Little Pep Talks for You and Me by Lin-Manuel Miranda

This book is an excellent companion if you are feeling alone!  Lin-Manuel Miranda (the creator and star of Hamilton) created this book with adorable illustrations and little notes to help you get through your day.  It is a super quick read, and each note is meant to uplift your soul.  I am a super fan of Lin-Manuel Miranda, so I may be a little biased, but I have found so much comfort in this book.

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2. The History Buff’s Pick

The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper by Hallie Rubenhold

Five devastating human stories and a dark and moving portrait of Victorian London—the untold lives of the women killed by Jack the Ripper

Polly, Annie, Elisabeth, Catherine, and Mary Jane are famous for the same thing, though they never met. They came from Fleet Street, Knightsbridge, Wolverhampton, Sweden, and Wales. They wrote ballads, ran coffeehouses, lived on country estates; they breathed ink dust from printing presses and escaped human traffickers.

What they had in common was the year of their murders: 1888. The person responsible was never identified, but the character created by the press to fill that gap has become far more famous than any of these five women.

For more than a century, newspapers have been keen to tell us that “the Ripper” preyed on prostitutes. Not only is this untrue, as historian Hallie Rubenhold has discovered, but it has prevented the real stories of these fascinating women from being told. Now, in this devastating narrative of five lives, Rubenhold finally sets the record straight, revealing a world not just of Dickens and Queen Victoria, but of poverty, homelessness, and rampant misogyny. They died because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time—but their greatest misfortune was to be born women.

The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper by Hallie Rubenhold

If you are a fan of history and true-crime, then you are going to love getting lost in this pick!  Historian Hallie Rubenhold put in so much love to dig up all of the information on the women who were killed by Jack the Ripper, and she writes their stories in such a way that it reads like an exhilarating novel.  This book isn’t about Jack the Ripper, but about the women that were silenced, and it is a beautiful ode to oppressed women in Victorian London.

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3. The Heartwrenching, Life-Changing Pick

Room by Emma Donoghue

Held captive for years in a small shed, a woman and her precocious young son finally gain their freedom, and the boy experiences the outside world for the first time.

To five-year-old-Jack, Room is the world. . . . It’s where he was born, it’s where he and his Ma eat and sleep and play and learn. At night, his Ma shuts him safely in the wardrobe, where he is meant to be asleep when Old Nick visits.

Room is home to Jack, but to Ma it’s the prison where she has been held for seven years. Through her fierce love for her son, she has created a life for him in this eleven-by-eleven-foot space. But with Jack’s curiosity building alongside her own desperation, she knows that Room cannot contain either much longer.

Room is a tale at once shocking, riveting, exhilarating — a story of unconquerable love in harrowing circumstances, and of the diamond-hard bond between a mother and her child.

Room by Emma Donoghue

If you are a lover of heartwrenching, realistic fiction, then look no further than Room by Emma Donoghue!  This book is one of my all-time favorites, and it makes me cry every time.  A movie was also made based on this book that stars Brie Larson (available on Netflix) and it is well worth a watch!

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4. The Sci-Fi Lover’s Pick

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Nominated as one of America’s best-loved novels by PBS’s The Great American Read

The bestselling cult classic—now a major motion picture directed by Steven Spielberg.

In the year 2045, reality is an ugly place. The only time teenage Wade Watts really feels alive is when he’s jacked into the virtual utopia known as the OASIS. Wade’s devoted his life to studying the puzzles hidden within this world’s digital confines—puzzles that are based on their creator’s obsession with the pop culture of decades past and that promise massive power and fortune to whoever can unlock them.

But when Wade stumbles upon the first clue, he finds himself beset by players willing to kill to take this ultimate prize. The race is on, and if Wade’s going to survive, he’ll have to win—and confront the real world he’s always been so desperate to escape.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

I absolutely fell in love with this book when I first read it!  It is the perfect blend of 80s nostalgia and all-engrossing sci-fi.  You can’t help but fall into this book when you read it!  If you need a book to help you escape reality for a while, then this is definitely the one to read.  I would suggest reading this book before seeing the movie, or even if you have seen the movie, read the book because they are quite different.

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5. The Scare-Your-Pants-Off Pick

The Merciless by Danielle Vega

“The Merciless is chilling. Think Mean Girls meets The Exorcist.”—MTV.com

Danielle Vega delivers blood-curdling suspense and terror on every page of this thrilling debut novel. Fans of Asylum by Madeleine Roux and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children will devour this terrifying series.

Brooklyn Stevens sits in a pool of her own blood, tied up and gagged. No one outside of these dank basement walls knows she’s here. No one can hear her scream.

Sofia Flores knows she shouldn’t have gotten involved. When she befriended Riley, Grace, and Alexis on her first day at school, she admired them, with their perfect hair and their good-girl ways. They said they wanted to save Brooklyn. They wanted to help her. Sofia didn’t realize they believed Brooklyn was possessed.

Now, Riley and the girls are performing an exorcism on Brooklyn—but their idea of an exorcism is closer to torture than salvation. All Sofia wants is to get out of this house. But there is no way out. Sofia can’t go against the other girls…unless she wants to be next.

By the shockingly twisted end, readers will be faced with the most haunting question of all: Is there evil in all of us?

“Pretty Little Liars fans, get a sneak peek at your new favorite book The Merciless…a nail biting thriller.”—Seventeen Magazine

The Merciless by Danielle Vega

I absolutely LOVE horror, because it always seems to give me an outlet for my anxiety.  I know that some people are sensitive when it comes to horror, but if you are looking for a book that will devour you whole then The Merciless is the way to go.

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6. The Scare-Your-Pants-Off Part 2 Pick

The Haunted by Danielle Vega

ONE OF ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY‘S “BIGGEST AND BEST YA BOOKS OF THE SUMMER”

From Danielle Vega, YA’s answer to Stephen King, comes a new paranormal novel about dark family secrets, deep-seated vengeance, and the horrifying truth that evil often lurks in the unlikeliest of places.

Clean slate. That’s what Hendricks Becker-O’Malley’s parents said when they moved their family to the tiny town of Drearfield, New York. Hendricks wants to lay low and forget her dark, traumatic past. Forget him. But things don’t go as planned.

Hendricks learns from new friends at school that Steele House–the fixer upper her parents are so excited about–is notorious in town. Local legend says it’s haunted. But Hendricks isn’t sure if it’s the demons of her past haunting her …or of the present. Voices whisper in her ear as she lays in bed. Doors lock on their own. And, then, one night, things take a violent turn.

With help from the mysterious boy next door, Hendricks makes it her mission to take down the ghosts . . . if they don’t take her first.

The Haunted by Danielle Vega

Usually, I wouldn’t choose two books by the same author in a row, but with Danielle Vega, I couldn’t help myself!  All of her books have been super therapeutic for me because of how emotionally involved they are, and The Haunted is no exception.  If you are a fan of old-school, haunting-based horror, then you are going to swallow up this novel.  The sequel comes out this summer as well, so get reading!

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7. The Swoon-Me-Over Pick

Lost Rider (The Coming Home Series Book 1) by Harper Sloan

In Lost Rider, the first Western romance in New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Harper Sloan’s Coming Home series, an injured rodeo star encounters an old flame but will she be just what he needs to get back in the saddle?

Maverick Austin Davis is forced to return home after a ten-year career as a rodeo star. After one too many head injuries, he’s off the circuit and in the horse farming business, something he’s never taken much of a shine to, but now that it’s his late father’s legacy, familial duty calls. How will Maverick find his way after the only dream he ever had for himself is over?

Enter Leighton Elizabeth James, an ugly duckling turned beauty from Maverick’s childhood—his younger sister’s best friend, to be exact, and someone whose heart he stomped all over when she confessed her crush to him ten years back. Now Leighton is back in Maverick’s life, no longer the insecure, love-stricken teen—and Maverick can’t help but take notice. Sparks fly between them, but will Leighton be able to open her heart to the one man who broke it all those years ago?

Written in the vein of Diana Palmer and Lindsay McKenna, this Texas-set series is filled with sizzle, heart, and plenty of cowboys!

Lost Rider (The Coming Home Series Book 1) by Harper Sloan

Okay, so I’m a bit of a sucker for cowboy romances, but Harper Sloan’s Coming Home Series takes the cake!  You don’t necessarily have to read the three books in the series in any specific order, but Lost Rider is the first book in the series.  Each book centers on a different Davis sibling and serves up a wholesome romance with plenty of hot and steamy scenes to boot.  Get ready for the ride of your life!

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8. The Sleuth-Status Pick

The Broken Girls by Simone St. James

A journalist uncovers the dark secrets of an abandoned boarding school in this chilling suspense novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Sun Down Motel.



Vermont, 1950. There’s a place for the girls whom no one wants—the troublemakers, the illegitimate, the ones too smart for their own good. It’s called Idlewild Hall, and local legend says the boarding school is haunted. Four roommates bond over their whispered fears, their friendship blossoming—until one of them mysteriously disappears….

Vermont, 2014. Twenty years ago, journalist Fiona Sheridan’s elder sister’s body was found in the overgrown fields near the ruins of Idlewild Hall. And although her sister’s boyfriend was tried and convicted of the murder, Fiona can’t stop revisiting the events, unable to shake the feeling that something was never right about the case.

When Fiona discovers that Idlewild Hall is being restored by an anonymous benefactor, she decides to write a story about it. But a shocking discovery during renovations links the loss of her sister to secrets that were meant to stay hidden in the past—and a voice that won’t be silenced….

The Broken Girls by Simone St. James

The Broken Girls is the perfect combination of “haunt” and “true crime”.  I love how it is a mystery that unfolds page after page and never ceases to keep you guessing!  If you are a fan of You by Caroline Kepnes, then you are sure to love The Broken Girls.

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9. The Young Adult Lover’s Pick

Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven

From the author of the New York Times bestseller All the Bright Places comes a heart-wrenching story about what it means to see someone—and love someone—for who they truly are.



Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed “America’s Fattest Teen.” But no one’s taken the time to look past her weight to get to know who she really is. Following her mom’s death, she’s been picking up the pieces in the privacy of her home, dealing with her heartbroken father and her own grief. Now, Libby’s ready: for high school, for new friends, for love, and for EVERY POSSIBILITY LIFE HAS TO OFFER. In that moment, I know the part I want to play here at MVB High. I want to be the girl who can do anything. 

Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin, too. Yes, he’s got swagger, but he’s also mastered the impossible art of giving people what they want, of fitting in. What no one knows is that Jack has a newly acquired secret: he can’t recognize faces. Even his own brothers are strangers to him. He’s the guy who can re-engineer and rebuild anything in new and bad-ass ways, but he can’t understand what’s going on with the inner workings of his brain. So he tells himself to play it cool: Be charming. Be hilarious. Don’t get too close to anyone.



Until he meets Libby. When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game—which lands them in group counseling and community service—Libby and Jack are both pissed, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. . . . Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world, theirs and yours.



Jennifer Niven delivers another poignant, exhilarating love story about finding that person who sees you for who you are—and seeing them right back.

“Niven is adept at creating characters. . . . [Libby’s] courage and body-positivity make for a joyful reading experience.” –The New York Times

“Holding Up the Universe . . . taps into the universal need to be understood. To be wanted. And that’s what makes it such a remarkable read.” —TeenVogue.com, “Why New Book Holding Up the Universe Is the Next The Fault in Our Stars”

“Want a love story that will give you all the feels? . . . You’ll seriously melt!” —Seventeen Magazine

Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven

This book, more than any other on this list, captured my heart and soul.  I grew up as the “fat” girl and experienced severe bullying because of my size.  I wish so badly that this book had been around when I was a teenager, but it spoke just as much to me as an adult woman.  It is a beautiful story about confidence and being true to oneself despite what anyone else might say.  If you have ever felt like an outcast, then you are going to love how relatable this book is.

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10. The Comedy Lover’s Pick

Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy by Judd Apatow

From the writer and director of Knocked Up and the producer of Freaks and Geeks comes a collection of intimate, hilarious conversations with the biggest names in comedy from the past thirty years—including Mel Brooks, Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Harold Ramis, Seth Rogen, Chris Rock, and Lena Dunham.

Before becoming one of the most successful filmmakers in Hollywood, Judd Apatow was the original comedy nerd. At fifteen, he took a job washing dishes in a local comedy club—just so he could watch endless stand-up for free. At sixteen, he was hosting a show for his local high school radio station in Syosset, Long Island—a show that consisted of Q&As with his comedy heroes, from Garry Shandling to Jerry Seinfeld. They talked about their careers, the science of a good joke, and their dreams of future glory (turns out, Shandling was interested in having his own TV show one day and Steve Allen had already invented everything).

Thirty years later, Apatow is still that same comedy nerd—and he’s still interviewing funny people about why they do what they do.



Sick in the Head gathers Apatow’s most memorable and revealing conversations into one hilarious, wide-ranging, and incredibly candid collection that spans not only his career but his entire adult life. Here are the comedy legends who inspired and shaped him, from Mel Brooks to Steve Martin. Here are the contemporaries he grew up with in Hollywood, from Spike Jonze to Sarah Silverman. And here, finally, are the brightest stars in comedy today, many of whom Apatow has been fortunate to work with, from Seth Rogen to Amy Schumer. And along the way, something kind of magical happens: What started as a lifetime’s worth of conversations about comedy becomes something else entirely. It becomes an exploration of creativity, ambition, neediness, generosity, spirituality, and the joy that comes from making people laugh.

Loaded with the kind of back-of-the-club stories that comics tell one another when no one else is watching, this fascinating, personal (and borderline-obsessive) book is Judd Apatow’s gift to comedy nerds everywhere.

Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy by Judd Apatow

If you are in the mood for a read to lighten your mood, then this pick is for you!  Judd Apatow is one of the biggest names in classic comedy, and his collection of interviews with comedians is a must-read.  The beauty of this book is that you can read it bit by bit since it is a collection of quick interviews.  I love reading this book when I need to pull myself out of my depression, and I think that it is the perfect read to get you through this pandemic.

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Let me know of any books that help you get through tough times below!  Let’s connect during this time of isolation.

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*This post contains affiliate links.  Affiliate links allow me to earn a small percentage of each sale made from my blog posts.  Thank you so much for allowing me to keep my blog running!

Subscription Review: The Body Love Box – March 2020

Happy Thursday, Everyone!

I am super excited to share with you a subscription box that I am just IN LOVE with!  This box is called The Body Love Box and it is all about body positivity and size inclusivity.  I am a huge advocate for body inclusivity and fighting weight stigma, so I found this box to be an extremely important step in the right direction.

I received the March 2020 box to review, so please enjoy reading about my experience below!

Much love,

Ashley

The Body Love Box is the friendly, fat-positive, body-positive, intersectional and LGBTQIAP+-affirming monthly subscription box that improves your body image and pays a living wage to marginalized artists who contribute their work to the box. Your monthly goodie and resource kit includes 5-7 full-size items each month like pins, zines, etc.


Improve your body image and learn more about body acceptance and liberation
Get exclusive Body Love Box-only artwork and products
Support a living wage for fat and marginalized artists with every box
Explore Health at Every Size and intuitive eating
5-7 full-size items each month

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The Body Love Box comes in a lovely eco-friendly box with a sticker of the logo on the top.  I don’t think that I can fully express how much I adore the logo!   I also really appreciate the eco-friendly nature of this subscription.  With all of the waste present in our world, every earth-friendly effort is needed.

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Upon opening the box, I was met with a card that featured this beautiful quote.  I thought that the quote set a great first impression, and it immediately filled me with happiness!

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On the opposite side of the card was this month’s theme along with a list of everything included in the box.  March’s theme was “Sleep is Self Care”, which I found to be a really beneficial topic.  I think that we are often told that we are lazy if we allow ourselves to “sleep too much”, but sleep IS such an important aspect of our self-care.

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After folding back the tissue paper, I was met with beautiful packaging and the first item in the box – a satin pillowcase!  I adore how luxurious this pillowcase is, and I have already slept with it on my pillow.  It definitely makes me feel like I’m spoiling myself!

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The next item was this unscented heating/cooling pad!  I love the handmade care that has gone into this item, and I have already used it.  It has helped so much with my menstrual cramps.

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Also included was this bookmark with a quote that I absolutely love.  I appreciate all of the body-positive quotes that are present throughout this box.

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This month’s featured artist was Shelby Bergen!  An art print of her work titled “Sleepy Fats” was included, as well as an exclusive interview.  I think that this art print is absolutely adorable, and I loved getting to know more about Shelby.

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This set of zen coloring pages and rainbow pencils was also included, and I loved how some of the coloring pages were stickers!  Coloring is one of my favorite activities and I thought that this coloring set went so well with a cozy, sleep themed box.

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Journaling is such an important part of self-care, and I love how an exclusive journal prompt is included in this box that relates back to self- and body-love.  This added to the self-care element of the box, and I appreciated the included activity about re-creating the Mona Lisa with yourself!  Lindley (the box’s owner) puts so much thought and care into her box, and the whole unboxing experience feels so intimate.

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Also included in the box was this card highlighting why obtaining a weight during any circumstance is so unimportant and potentially harmful.  This card really highlights the Health at Every Size approach, and I love how I can keep this in my wallet and show it to any medical professional that wants to check my weight.  Weight shaming in the medical system is absolutely awful, and I really appreciate having this as a resource!

 

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Lastly, I really appreciated how this box came with information on PCOS (a condition that I am actually currently being tested for!) and a sheet with things to ask yourself before giving up.  I struggle with depression, and I am currently struggling with a major depressive episode, so I found this sheet to be very helpful.  Connecting weight stigma and discrimination to physical and mental health is so important because they are all connected.  I applaud The Body Love Box for highlighting this connection!

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Overall, I can’t recommend The Body Love Box enough!  I adore how it helps support artists by providing them with a living wage, while also helping to increase body positivity and providing information on issues that affect plus-size women.  Lindley puts so much thought and care into her box, and it really shows.  I feel like this subscription is a true hug in a box, and it is a perfect addition to your self-care routine.

Use Code “FATISFINE” for 10% Off of your First Box!
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Book Review: Beat Your Heart Out by Cristina Isabel

30 Gruesome poems in a horror-filled collection.

Rating: 5/5

Format: Paperback

Quick Take

Cristina Isabel holds nothing back in Beat Your Heart Out – a gory, revolutionary horror poetry collection.  I found myself out of breath as I tore through each poem; and to me, that is the mark of an excellent work of literary horror.

Tell Me More

I am a horror fanatic and horror poet myself, so I was thrilled when Cristina Isabel approached me to review Beat Your Heart Out – her collection of gruesome, horror poetry.  I love finding new, female horror authors, so of course, I had to snatch up this opportunity quicker than you can say “I volunteer as tribute”.

Beat Your Heart Out is a small poetry collection of 30 poems; however, don’t let the short length of this collection fool you.  It took me many months to get through the collection due to the gruesome and harrowing nature of Isabel’s words.  Splatterpunk is a subgenre of horror that is characterized by graphic wording that holds nothing back, and I would absolutely consider Isabel’s poetry to be under the splatterpunk subgenre.  As I read each poem, I felt like a knife was being twisted into my chest in the best possible way.  So many of the poems took my breath away and forced me to put the book down for weeks at a time to recover.  Isabel’s imagination runs wild with each poem, and she manages to tap into fears that the reader never even knew they had.

What I loved most about Beat Your Heart Out, however, was how every poem was so different.  Each poem held within its words a separate universe that brought in the reader’s imagination as a player.  Isabel gives the reader just enough information to let their imagination run wild and bring their darkest nightmares to life.  I have never read a more impactful work of horror or poetry, and I can’t sing the praises of Cristina Isabel’s writing enough.

My favorite poem from the collection is From Tears to Knives, which is a brutal poem about a woman suffering from heartbreak who essentially gets revenge for all of the pain that she has suffered.  Here is a short excerpt:

You can only push someone so far before they break. 

Before they decide to defend themselves with madness.

You can only hurt someone so much before pain becomes their ally. 

And God is no longer watching.

For every tear that has fallen, your blood will drip.

If you are a horror fan and looking for a work of literary horror that holds nothing back, then please, for the love of God go and pick up Beat Your Heart Out right now!  But don’t expect to sleep soundly anytime soon.

 

 

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