Sage Nestler's Blog, page 6

ARC Review: A Poetic Examination of the Human Experience Through the Beauty of Water

The Secret Beautiful by Ximena Escober Release Date: June 14, 2024

In this captivating collection, Ximena takes us on a journey filled with vivid imagery and powerful prose that captivates the senses. Her words breathe life into emotions as vast as the ocean, weaving a tapestry of passion, love, discovery, and grief. All delicately entwined within her heartfelt verses, mirroring the tide’s eternal ebb and flow.

Every turn of the page reminds us that, while time flows ever forward, our heart is never so constrained. Her evocative storytelling deftly blends past and present, beckoning readers to embrace the undulating rhythm of life’s experiences.

Within the storms of love and grief, she reveals the hidden beauty waiting to be discovered. Dive into its pages and let the author’s words wash over you, leaving behind a profound appreciation for the transformative magic and secret beauty found within the ever-changing tides of the heart.

Overall Rating

4/5

Quick Take

The Secret Beautiful by Ximena Escober is a collection of poetry that explores the human experience through aquatic imagery. I enjoyed the varying themes, such as love, grief, and passion, but I did find that some of the lines were clunky, and the structure of some of the poems was odd, which detracted from my enjoyment of them. However, it is a heartfelt and unique collection that is sure to resonate with a multitude of readers.

Tell Me More

Ximena Escober winds a wide variety of poems together through the common thread of water visualizations in her collection, The Secret Beautiful. Some of her poems are lighter in nature, such as the ones that focus on themes like love, while others are darker and more graphic, especially those concerned with grief. The beauty of the water theme throughout the novel is that it helps poems that might not otherwise belong in the same collection have a common ground. They all encompass the very universal emotions that we experience as humans, and some of the phrasing is truly spectacular.

Reading this collection felt like diving into Escober’s soul, and her ability to portray such intense emotions through her writing was admirable. It is clear just through reading her poems how deeply she feels her emotions, and as a deep feeler myself, this was beautiful to see. I think that empathic readers will particularly find enjoyment in such an intense poetic collection, and I look forward to seeing all of the feedback her poems receive.

*Thank you to Ravens Quoth Press for the ARC!

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Book Review: An Empowering and Unique Children’s Book About Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

The Very Best Me by Marin Canaday

A young girl faces day-to-day struggles with her OCD monster. Some days she is victorious, unbothered, and confident. Other days, it feels as if the monster is the one leading the way. It’s a one-on-one battle for control―or is it? With the support of those around her listening, encouraging, and reassuring, she gains the strength to continue facing her monster. The Very Best Me is a helpful tool for those with obsessive compulsive disorder. It sheds light on the type of support that would be helpful for those battling their own little―and sometimes big―OCD monsters.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

5/5

As someone who has lived with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) tendencies for the majority of my life but wasn’t diagnosed until my 20s, I was ecstatic to come across a children’s book that addresses OCD. The book is written for children from the perspective of a child who lives with OCD. The beauty of this picture book is that Marin Canaday struggles with OCD herself, and largely portrayed the illness from her own perspective in a way that is accessible for young children.

While the illness was portrayed as a little monster that disrupts the child’s life, the story also portrayed how the child can live with the monster and focus on their strengths to manage the turmoil that the monster brings to their day-to-day life. The visuals were excellent in portraying how some days OCD symptoms are more severe than other days, while also providing insight on how parents and other loved ones can help support children with OCD.

I wish that I had had this book as a child. I think that it would have helped me to understand what I was going through, and I think that it will help many children and their families for generations to come. Canaday has created a truly spectacular tool for children living with OCD and their parents and caregivers, as well as mental health professionals and other professionals working with children who have this disorder. I cannot recommend it enough. I will definitely be using it in my mental health practice.

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Celebrate International Asexuality Day with These 6 Books

Happy International Asexuality Day (IAD!)

Today is incredibly important to me as an asexual individual. While asexuality is gaining more awareness, it still tends to be extremely stigmatized. International Asexuality Day (IAD) is important, because it brings awareness to the global ACE community, and it highlights advocacy, celebration, education, and solidarity.

What is asexuality?

An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction – they are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way. Unlike celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, just like other sexual orientations. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or better; we just face a different set of needs and challenges than most sexual people do. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community in the needs and experiences often associated with sexuality including relationships, attraction, and arousal.

https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html

Asexuality has a broad spectrum, including various forms of romantic attraction, as well as aromanticism – which is a lack of romantic attraction. Due to the diversity of the community, there are so many excellent asexual authors who have put their books out into the world to share their personal views and experiences on and with asexuality.

Below are six of my favorite books featuring and about asexuality, and I hope that you will enjoy them as much as I do!

A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality by Molly Muldoon & Will Hernandez

This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences.

Asexuality is often called The Invisible Orientation. You don’t learn about it in school, you don’t hear “ace” on television. So, it’s kinda hard to be ace in a society so steeped in sex that no one knows you exist. Too many young people grow up believing that their lack of sexual desire means they are broken – so writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both in the ace community, are here to shed light on society’s misconceptions of asexuality and what being ace is really like. This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences. Asexuality is a real identity and it’s time the world recognizes it. Here’s to being invisible no more! 

ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what we can all learn about desire and identity by using an ace lens to see the world

What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through the world not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about consent, about compromise, about the structures of society? This exceedingly accessible guide to asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are conflicts that all of us need to address as we move through the world.

Through interviews, cultural criticism, and memoir, ACE invites all readers to consider big-picture issues through the lens of asexuality, because every place that sexuality touches our world, asexuality does too.

Journalist Angela Chen uses her own journey of self-discovery as an asexual person to unpretentiously educate and vulnerably connect with readers, effortlessly weaving analysis of sexuality and societally imposed norms with interviews of ace people. Among those included are the woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and the man who grew up in an evangelical household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Also represented are disabled aces, aces of color, non-gender-conforming aces questioning whether their asexuality is a reaction against stereotypes, and aces who don’t want romantic relationships asking how our society can make room for them.

Loveless by Alice Oseman

The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman – one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.

It was all sinking in. I’d never had a crush on anyone. No boys, no girls, not a single person I had ever met. What did that mean?

Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day.

As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia’s ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her ‘teenage dream’ is in sight.

But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her – asexual, aromantic – Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever.

Is she destined to remain loveless? Or has she been looking for the wrong thing all along?

This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance.

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger

Imagine an America very similar to our own. It’s got homework, best friends, and pistachio ice cream.

There are some differences. This America has been shaped dramatically by the magic, monsters, knowledge, and legends of its peoples, those Indigenous and those not. Some of these forces are charmingly everyday, like the ability to make an orb of light appear or travel across the world through rings of fungi. But other forces are less charming and should never see the light of day.

Elatsoe lives in this slightly stranger America. She can raise the ghosts of dead animals, a skill passed down through generations of her Lipan Apache family. Her beloved cousin has just been murdered in a town that wants no prying eyes. But she is going to do more than pry. The picture-perfect facade of Willowbee masks gruesome secrets, and she will rely on her wits, skills, and friends to tear off the mask and protect her family.

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee

From the author of Lucky Few comes a “refreshing” (Booklist, starred review) teen novel about Internet fame, peer pressure, and remembering not to step on the little people on your way to the top!

After a shout-out from one of the Internet’s superstar vloggers, Natasha “Tash” Zelenka suddenly finds herself and her obscure, amateur web series, Unhappy Families, thrust in the limelight: She’s gone viral.

Her show is a modern adaption of Anna Karenina—written by Tash’s literary love Count Lev Nikolayevich “Leo” Tolstoy. Tash is a fan of the 40,000 new subscribers, their gushing tweets, and flashy Tumblr gifs. Not so much the pressure to deliver the best web series ever.

And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a Golden Tuba award, Tash’s cyber-flirtation with a fellow award nominee suddenly has the potential to become something IRL—if she can figure out how to tell said crush that she’s romantic asexual.

Tash wants to enjoy her newfound fame, but will she lose her friends in her rise to the top? What would Tolstoy do?

Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman

Rumi Seto spends a lot of time worrying she doesn’t have the answers to everything. What to eat, where to go, whom to love. But there is one thing she is absolutely sure of—she wants to spend the rest of her life writing music with her younger sister, Lea.

Then Lea dies in a car accident, and her mother sends her away to live with her aunt in Hawaii while she deals with her own grief. Now thousands of miles from home, Rumi struggles to navigate the loss of her sister, being abandoned by her mother, and the absence of music in her life. With the help of the “boys next door”—a teenage surfer named Kai, who smiles too much and doesn’t take anything seriously, and an eighty-year-old named George Watanabe, who succumbed to his own grief years ago—Rumi attempts to find her way back to her music, to write the song she and Lea never had the chance to finish.

Aching, powerful, and unflinchingly honest, Summer Bird Blue explores big truths about insurmountable grief, unconditional love, and how to forgive even when it feels impossible.

The world of books featuring asexual characters and topics is expanding, and I love seeing how diverse this small sector of books is becoming. I hope that you enjoy the above recommendations, and if you have any to add, I would love to hear them!

Book Review: An Ethereal Fever Dream

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland

Seventeen-year-old Iris Hollow has always been strange. Something happened to her and her two older sisters when they were children, something they can’t quite remember but that left each of them with an identical half-moon scar at the base of their throats.

Iris has spent most of her teenage years trying to avoid the weirdness that sticks to her like tar. But when her eldest sister, Grey, goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Iris learns just how weird her life can get: horned men start shadowing her, a corpse falls out of her sister’s ceiling, and ugly, impossible memories start to twist their way to the forefront of her mind.

As Iris retraces Grey’s last known footsteps and follows the increasingly bizarre trail of breadcrumbs she left behind, it becomes apparent that the only way to save her sister is to decipher the mystery of what happened to them as children.

The closer Iris gets to the truth, the closer she comes to understanding that the answer is dark and dangerous – and that Grey has been keeping a terrible secret from her for years.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

3/5

Quick Take

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland is like nothing else I have ever read. It is filled with fantastical elements that border on horror, and the entire is laced with thrills. I was utterly captivated.

Tell Me More

So, I was super intrigued by this book. A trio of sisters who go missing and come back different, but can’t remember what happened to them? Yes, please! That’s right up my alley. The mystery and intrigue were palpable from the get-go, and I found the story to be compulsively readable. It was creepy and fantastical at the same time, and while it is a YA novel, it did not feel like it.

The story is told from the perspective of Iris, the youngest of the three sisters. It follows her as she tries to find her eldest sister, Grey, with her other sister, Vivi, and Grey’s boyfriend, Tyler, after Grey goes missing. Grey is a rather elusive character, and I got manic pixie dream girl vibes from her, which I wasn’t too fond of (however, I think, now, that this might have been used as satire). Grey was wholly self-absorbed and pretentious (especially the descriptions of her as a fashion model and her designs as a fashion designer). But the mystique surrounding her and the sisters’ situation kept me entertained, especially since none of them seemed exactly human.

The beauty of the novel was that information was given to the reader in a trickle, which always kept me guessing. I also found the fantastical elements to be completely original, and Sutherland’s idea of life after death and those who get left behind was incredibly fascinating. I have never read a novel like this one, and I have already begun to collect Sutherland’s other novels.

The only reason I gave this novel 3/5 stars and not a higher rating is because of how short it was and that I felt it didn’t allow time to fully develop the complex ideas that were represented. The story started abruptly and ended the same way, and I would have loved to see the book be longer in order to allow time for these fully fledged ideas to form.

However, if you enjoy creepy fantasy with a thriller edge, I highly recommend this book for you! It will keep you thinking for a long time, as it has done for me.

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Book Review: A Delightfully Queer and Diverse Novel That Hits It Out of the Park

Riley Weaver Needs a Date to the Gaybutante Ball by Jason June

The next LGBTQ+ young adult rom-com from  New York Times  bestselling author Jason June (author of  Jay’s Gay Agenda  and  Out of the Blue )!

Femme, gay teen podcaster Riley Weaver has made it to junior year, which means he can finally apply for membership into the Gaybutante Society, the LGBTQ+ organization that has launched dozens of queer teens’ careers in pop culture, arts, and activism. The process to get into the Society is a marathon of charity events, parties, and general gay chaos, culminating in the annual Gaybutante Ball. The one requirement for the Ball? A date.

Then Riley overhears superstar athlete, Skylar, say that gay guys just aren’t interested in femme guys or else they wouldn’t be gay. Riley confronts Skylar and makes a bet to prove him Riley must find a masc date by the time of the Ball, or he’ll drop out of the Society entirely. Riley decides to document the trials and tribulations of dating when you’re gay and femme in a brand new podcast. Can Riley find a fella to fall for in time? Or will this be one massive—and publicly broadcast—femme failure? 

This new novel from Jason June explores how labels can limit and liberate us, and shows just what can happen when you bet on yourself.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating 4/5Quick Take

Riley Weaver Needs a Date to the Gaybutante Ball by Jason June is at once a delightful rom-com and a charming exploration of identity and self-love. It features characters of all different backgrounds and identities and spreads an outstanding message of love. It is a must read, and already one of my favorite reads of 2024.

Tell Me More

Riley Weaver Needs a Date to the Gaybutante Ball is a really adorable, excellent addition to the LGBTQIA+ book scene. I completely ate it up! There were so many representations for identities in the queer community (including asexual and aromantic identities – which I loved because of my own asexuality), and all of the characters were really endearing and flawed. The book left me wanting to join the gaybutante society, and I really wish that there was such a thing!

Jason June brought much needed light to the issue of attraction and validating another’s experience. He brought up the issue that another person is valid WHETHER OR NOT you are attracted to them because your attraction does not determine their worth, jeopardize their existence, or decrease their ability and right to find joy and love. He also made a point to mention that invalidating someone simply because you aren’t attracted to them breeds such things as fatphobia, transphobia, homophobia, racism, ableism, etc. which really needed to be said.

The issue of femmephobia was central to the story, and I loved being able to take a look into the life of a femme teen and their wholeness as a person. I feel like femmes are often not taken seriously and are even laughed at, in literature, media, and life, and this book did well to validate the femme community. I also liked how June, when describing characters, also made note of their race. There is such a problem with only bringing up race when a character isn’t white, and this is so problematic because it makes readers assume that all characters are white unless otherwise noted. So, thank you, June, for paving the way in rectifying this situation!

My only issue with this book was that it wasn’t entirely trans positive. I know that may not have been intentional, but it seemed like Riley had a hard time accepting and addressing individuals who aren’t cis. For example, he sees an individual from behind with long hair who he assumes is female, until they turn around, and he immediately assumes they are male, without realizing the possibility of other gender representations (nonbinary, gender queer, etc.) As a nonbinary person I found this problematic – as this is something I constantly face in my day to day life – but it did bring up the issue that so many of us immediately assume gender. It also served as a reminder to always ask pronouns without first assuming.

I so wish I had had this book as a teen. I think it would have made me feel so accepted and allowed me to see myself reflected in a story. But I am so grateful for June to be contributing such beautiful queer literature to the book community. He is such a beautiful soul, and I adore him.

If you love over the top, incredibly queer stories filled with love, joy, and finding oneself, please do yourself a favor and read this book. It is truly special.

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Book Review: A Groundbreaking Trans Queer Romance

The Prospects by KT Hoffman

The pressure cooker of minor league baseball leads to major chemistry in this exhilarating, sexy, and triumphant rivals to lovers debut romance.

Hope is familiar territory for Gene Ionescu. He has always loved baseball, a sport made for underdogs and optimists like him. He also loves his team, the minor league Beaverton Beavers, and, for the most part, he loves the career he’s built. As the first openly trans player in professional baseball, Gene has nearly everything he’s ever let himself dream of—that is, until Luis Estrada, Gene’s former teammate and current rival, gets traded to the Beavers, destroying the careful equilibrium of Gene’s life.

Gene and Luis can’t manage a civil conversation off the field or a competent play on it, but in the close confines of dugout benches and roadie buses, they begrudgingly rediscover a comfortable rhythm. As the two grow closer, the tension between them turns electric, and their chemistry spills past the confines of the stadium. For every tight double play they execute, there’s also a glance at summer-tan shoulders or a secret shared, each one a breathless moment of possibility that ignites in Gene the visceral, terrifying kind of desire he’s never allowed himself. Soon, Gene has to reconcile the quiet, minor-league-sized life he used to find fulfilling with the major-league dreams Luis makes feel possible.

A joyful, heartfelt debut rom-com revealing what’s possible when we allow ourselves to want something enough to swing for the fences.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

5/5

Release Date

4/9/2024

Quick Take

The Prospects by KT Hoffman is a highly original romcom that paves the way for trans queer romance novels. It drips with a profound love for baseball and queer joy, and it is an absolute must-read.

Tell Me More

How do I put into words how much I utterly loved this novel? The Prospects by KT Hoffman is an ode to trans queer love and joy, and it purely warmed every ounce of my being. It is by far the most diverse novel I have ever read, in every sense of the word, and I will treasure these characters forever.

Gene is a trans gay man and the first openly trans baseball player. He is boisterous, funny, and adorable, and I quickly found that I would love for him to be my best friend. Luis is a quiet, introverted, gay man who suffers from severe anxiety, and I related to him on such a deep level. While he and Gene began as rivals, they quickly found a connection with one another that was both spicy and compassionate in all of the best ways. Their love was so pure, and my heart swelled with love for them both as the story continued.

Baseball is central to the story, and it was similar to Ted Lasso in humor and the relationships between the characters. However, one does not need to know a lot about baseball to enjoy the story. Hoffman did well at explaining baseball terms and portraying his deep love of the game. I have always loved baseball, but this story made me want to follow the game and gave me a deeper love for this all-American sport.

While there are spicy elements, they aren’t over the top. Hoffman did well to portray sex between Gene and Luis in a way that normalized trans and gay sex and expressed the deep connection between the two. It was really beautiful.

The Prospects is groundbreaking and genre-defining in so many ways, and I am so proud of Hoffman for paving the way in trans queer romance. I hope that this novel gets all of the love it deserves, and I can’t wait to see where Hoffman goes next!

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Book Review: A Unique and Diverse High-Stakes Fantasy

Adrien Desfourneaux, professor of magic, must survive his own failing mental health and a tenuous partnership with a dangerous ally in order to save the city of Astrum from a spreading curse.

Adrien Desfourneaux, professor of magic and disgraced ex-physician, has discovered a conspiracy. Someone is inflicting magical comas on the inhabitants of the massive city of Astrum, and no one knows how or why. Caught between a faction of scheming magical academics and an explosive schism in the ranks of Astrum’s power-hungry military, Adrien is swallowed by the growing chaos. Alongside Gennady, an unruly, damaged young soldier, and Malise, a brilliant healer and Adrien’s best friend, Adrien searches for a way to stop the spreading curse before the city implodes. He must survive his own bipolar disorder, his self-destructive tendencies, and his entanglement with the man who doesn’t love him back.

Overall Rating

4/5

Quick Take

Cursebreakers by Madeleine Nakamura is an inclusive fantasy adventure that features a main character dealing with bipolar disorder in a high stakes dark academia world. Filled with action and unrequited romance, I easily became entranced by this debut. It is ideal for fans of queer fantasy with a mental health edge.

Tell Me More

As a mental health specialist, I always love when I find books that address mental health, and Cursebreakers by Madeleine Nakamura did so in such a brilliant and inventive way. While it is an adult fantasy with dark academia vibes, the main character, Adrien, is a professor of magic struggling with bipolar disorder. His struggles with his mental health are relatable and make him deeply human. But the way that Madeleine Nakamura incorporated these very human concerns in such a magical and fantastic story was ingenious. I couldn’t put it down.

At times, I did find it hard to keep up with the worldbuilding due to extensive language that was hard to follow; however, I do blame that on the fact that I am not a frequent fantasy reader. Readers who do enjoy fantasy and read it consistently should be able to keep up with the complexities of the story.

Nakamura also incorporated such excellent LGBTQIA+ representation, which was beautiful and I found intensely relatable. That paired with the mental health representation and the intense world building made Cursebreakers a profound and impressionable story.

If you enjoy intense fantasy with LGBTQIA+ and mental health representation, you are going to love Cursebreakers by Madeleine Nakamura.

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Book Review: A New Way of Looking at Trauma and Sexuality

Radical alternatives to consent and trauma.

Arguing that we have become culturally obsessed with healing trauma, Sexuality Beyond Consent calls attention to what traumatized subjects do with their pain. The erotics of racism offers a paradigmatic example of how what is proximal to violation may become an unexpected site of flourishing. Central to the transformational possibilities of trauma is a queer form of consent, limit consent, that is not about guarding the self but about risking experience. Saketopoulou thereby shows why sexualities beyond consent may be worth risking-and how risk can solicit the future.

Moving between clinical and cultural case studies, Saketopoulou takes up theatrical and cinematic works such as Slave Play and The Night Porter, to chart how trauma and sexuality join forces to surge through the aesthetic domain. Putting the psychoanalytic theory of Jean Laplanche in conversation with queer of color critique, performance studies, and philosophy, Sexuality Beyond Consent proposes that enduring the strange in ourselves, not to master trauma but to rub up against it, can open us up to encounters with opacity. The book concludes by theorizing currents of sadism that, when pursued ethically, can animate unique forms of interpersonal and social care.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

5/5

Quick Take

Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia by Avgi Saketopoulou is a thorough and unique addition to the discussion on trauma and methods of what we do with the trauma we experience. Saketopoulou provides readers with a full examination of limit-consent, which encourages risk rather than protection, and explores how sexuality can be used to explore personal trauma. While the book was hard for me to understand at times because I had not heard of many of the terms and needed to research them, it opened my mind to an alternative to healing trauma that is sure to become a new area of exploration in the therapeutic field.

Tell Me More

Filled with case studies and examples, Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia by Avgi Saketopoulou opens up the discussion on trauma and how sexuality can be a way of exploring our trauma rather than focusing on healing it. It is a risky addition to the field, but one that is so important.

While the book is deeply academic, Saketopoulou tries to make the terms and discussions accessible. It did take me a few reads to understand what Saketopoulou was trying to portray, and for that I wish that the book was easier to understand to reach a wider reader base. However, I did give this book five stars because the discussion and new ideas on how to handle trauma and how trauma can be connected to sexuality was groundbreaking. It will inform my work in the mental health field.

Academic readers interested in learning about alternative ways to handle trauma and how sexuality can be linked to handling trauma will be enlightened by Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia by Avgi Saketopoulou. It is a heavily researched tome, and one that has the power to change the mental health field.

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Book Review: A Lifechanging and Lifesaving Read

What happens when we imagine loving the people–and the parts of ourselves–that we do not believe are worthy of love?

A transformative collection of intimate and lyrical love letters that offer a path toward compassion, forgiveness, and self-acceptance.

“Required reading.”–Glennon Doyle

Kai Cheng Thom grew up a Chinese Canadian transgender girl in a hostile world. As an activist, psychotherapist, conflict mediator, and spiritual healer, she’s always pursued the same deeply personal mission: to embrace the revolutionary belief that every human being, no matter how hateful or horrible, is intrinsically sacred.

But then Kai Cheng found herself in a crisis of faith, overwhelmed by the viciousness with which people treated one another, and barely clinging to the values and ideals she’d built her life around: justice, hope, love, and healing. Rather than succumb to despair and cynicism, she gathered all her rage and grief and took one last leap of faith: she wrote. Whether prayers or spells or poems–and whether there’s a difference–she wrote to affirm the outcasts and runaways she calls her kin. She wrote to flawed but nonetheless lovable men, to people with good intentions who harm their own, to racists and transphobes seemingly beyond saving. What emerged was a blueprint for falling back in love with being human.

Goodreads Synopsis

Overall Rating

5/5

Quick Take

Falling Back in Love with Being Human by Kai Cheng Thom is a challenging, enlightening, heartbreaking, and soul stirring read that I can honestly say is a must-read for just about everyone. It is one of those books that comes about once in a lifetime and forces you to confront yourself and bleed through each word. It changed me in the most painful, and beautiful, way.

Tell Me More

There are only a few books that I have read in my lifetime that have affected me as deeply as Falling Back in Love with Being Human by Kai Cheng Thom. This book is a short collection of letters and prompts that can be read in one quick sitting; but just because the book is short doesn’t mean that it isn’t impactful. Thom bleeds and pours love into each word and provides us insight into her soul. While I am not transgender, I related deeply to many of the letters in this book. It is not designed to be a self-help book, but it did help me to reconnect with myself and resolve some emotional pain that I have been carrying around.

The LGBTQIA+ community will find solace in each page, but so will those who do not identify as a member of this community. Thom has created a universal work of art that will impact those who read her words for generation. I have already re-read this book and practiced the prompts multiple times. With each re-read I connect with a different part of myself.

Falling Back in Love with Being Human by Kai Cheng Thom should absolutely be required reading as Glennon Doyle has said. It is lifechanging, lifesaving, and a beacon of hope for every one of us.

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The 3 Healing Benefits of Re-Reading Books

As a bibliotherapist, I have known that re-reading books is a true art form, but it is not something that everyone takes advantage of. I have to admit that I just started re-reading books myself, and it has been an unsuspectedly wonderful experience. Through my journey of re-reading, I have found it to be very cathartic in many ways.

The following are three healing benefits that can be linked to re-reading books. I hope that they will convince you to try re-reading for yourself, or if you already re-read, to find comfort in the health benefits you may are already experiencing.

It Increases Feelings of Comfort and Safety

When you read a book that you find deep enjoyment in, you already know how the book will play out. Having this knowledge beforehand takes away any surprise element and will fill you with feelings of comfort and safety. By knowing how a book will play out, you have full control. This is especially helpful if you are feeling like you don’t have a lot of control in your personal life. Re-reading can be a helpful coping mechanism to try and give you that sense of control that you may be lacking and fulfill that need.

As someone with extreme anxiety, I highly recommend re-reading if you also experience anxiety. Doing so can be a healthy way to manage those uncomfortable feelings.

It Allows You to Address the Feelings You Felt the First Time

Sometimes re-reading can help you to revisit feelings that the book made you feel the first time – either in a positive or negative way. For instance, sometimes I do want to revisit feelings of sadness because it can help me to soothe those feelings in my life outside of reading. It is during these times that I will re-read a book that originally made me feel sadness or despair, because sometimes those feelings can be cathartic. The same goes for wanting to feel any positive emotion, such as happiness. Re-reading books or stories that originally gave you those positive feelings will often do so the second time around.

It Allows you to Explore New Feelings That Come Up

While re-reading allows you to anticipate how the book will play out, you may not always feel the same emotions that you felt the first time, and that is okay! Sometimes this can be the right time to address what new emotions are coming up and try to pinpoint which parts of the book have elicited the new emotions. Doing so can help you to translate this to your life outside of reading and address anything that may be coming up. Sometimes these new emotions are also indicative of growth, which can show you how far you have come since first reading the book.

If you do not currently re-read, I urge you to try it out! It may not be for everyone, but it is a cost-effective therapeutic tool that is easy to add to your schedule. Reading is often such an underrated coping mechanism for so many things, and my wish is that the world will continue to see how impactful reading can be for our mental health.