Dion E. Cheese's Blog

Harry Henderson’s Perfectly Cooked Rice

When it comes to cooking every mature manly man knows that only “real men cook.” So when cooking a delectable dish such as baked chicken or otherwise one needs a great side dish such as a nice bowl of rice to compliment and add essential carbs to a meal. Therefore, I upped myself and thought within,  you need to get your lazy ass over to Walmart and get some rice.

Ten minutes passed and I was standing within isle number 7 looking at my former enslaved brother Uncle Ben (Side note: Someone  really needs to update his picture unless they want to add a bullhorn and a whip).  And since no one has the balls to stand up to Mars Inc… the makers of Unc’s great tasting but not necessarily good for you brands of  inorganic rice logo needs to be updated as it seems to have undertones of racist images of slavery to it. Seemingly it reminds me of field hands working on a rice plantation in Texas, or Louisiana…I’m just saying.

Regardless of the image on the packaging as I have no idea of what was on the mind of those who created or approved the marketing thereof had at the time of its origination. I  had just finished working at my job in a cold storage facility and did not want to mess up another side dish  to go along with my adobo styled baked chicken. And, just as I was about to grab some jasmine rice from bruh Uncle Ben I looked to my right… Stunned more than a man at the end of a taser gun, I was like “WTF!”

“Excuse me bruh, but you shouldn’t be eating that.” The beastly man said in kingly sounding English.

Damn near jumping out of my skin, I shouted “Yoooooo Bigfoot what in the hell are you doin’ in Walmart? I thought animals weren’t allowed in here. No offense fam,  but you are one tall-ass-9-foot-hairy-ass-dudeamal  looking mofo.” My heart sped a thousand times a minute as I spoke.

Digressing, I have to add, that it’s a strange coincidence most people seem to invent new words like dudeamal when under intense pressure. And, seeing a 9-foot-hairy-ass creature standing in front of you will bring out your creative side every time.

Also, unlike the movie…The Hendersons, Harry made quite the impression on me being well-spoken and quite well-mannered. Plus after a long conversation and a barrage of unorthodox questions in which I sought answers for such as… “Do bears actually use Charmin Toilet Paper to wipe their asses after shitting in the woods?”

In his king’s English accent he answered unequivocally, “Yes they actually do.”

And to my surprise, he elaborated, and I quote, “That’s why grizzlies and other bears will vehemently chase down and ravenously eat nosey people because they have itchy asses.” The reason being, “…they don’t want the world to know why Charmin tissue is so damn expensive… and why bears are partially responsible for deforestation in America. The bear species made a dubious, albeit covert agreement with Procter & Gamble to get a lifetime supply for each and every bear that shitteth in the woods.

Many people have unwittingly walked up on bears literally wiping their asses with this premium brand of toiletries  but have not lived to tell anyone about it…

I was told by one anonymous bear who is obviously smarter than the others by a longshot and has been caught stealing food several times by Ranger Smith… stated, “We bears know when you are watching us so we don’t use this extremely soft toilet paper hen people are present inside the park and have to walk around with itchy asses all day and that makes us anal to the tee.”  Harry introduced me to him shortly after we met inside Walmart.

All I am at liberty to say is that the bear in the picture above with the frying pan over his face definitely isn’t your average bear and his first name rhymes with hoagie.

I actually had to apologize to my momz 3 times already…

To make a long story short, Harry doesn’t like to be seen by the public since his demise in fame by the likes of his orange looking cousin-President DT.

He later went on  and introduced me to his beautiful cousin Marisa G Henderson who barely stands above 5’4 inches and is a little less hairy then her first cousin Harry…Yes, I mean the same hairy mofo from Harry and The Hendersons. Yes,  Marisa G Henderson’s is  part of Harry’s family. Nevertheless, she was gracious enough to show me how to cook the perfect bowl of Jasmine Rice.

However, when we met I seriously doubted that she was in fact biologically related to Harry being that she had an angelic face and a killer smile that could con a Rattlesnake out of his rattler.

Looking her sternly in the eyes I demanded that she  “Show Proof” that Harry was indeed her second cousin and to make a long story short simply shook her head and said, “My feet brutha. My feet will tell you the whole story.”

Shocked after looking at her feet pictured to your left, I asked…”Shouldn’t we be making wild rice instead?” As we spoke I accidently dropped my Galaxy Note 8 into a bucket of mop water.

“Dayuuumn! I shouted.

Growling, she looked up at me and said…”If your phone gets wet try putting it in some rice then at night the rice will attract Asians who will then come and fix your electronics for you.”

“Hey, that’s racist!” I said sternly.

Smiling she said, “I know. And so does your remark about me making wild rice. So your apology is accepted sir.”

Let’s just say that Marisa’s chicken wasn’t meant to be eaten by none other than Nigerians…delicious!

Grabbing my chicken and holding it close to my ribs as every brutha does when we order a bucket of KFC we left to go to her place. Looking at her feet again, I knew it would be a place where civilization and the wild would come together. 

I was headed to a place that reminded  me of my old federal  prison days whilst heading to the chow hall amongst the herd. As pans seared with hot food the voice of Marty Stouffer the narrator of Wild America ran through my head. The voice chimed inside my head in a rushed grizzly manner saying,…Watch as the inmates make there way down to the chow hall grueling as they go for their food.

After a bunch of clanging and banging, for about an hour the dish was presented to me an we both ate like animals. I thought i would never find myself licking a plate, let alone my fingers and the table as well. No napkins were used at any time as they would have been a waste.

And just for the record, I would like to apologize personally to the Henderson family. Marisa G Henderson is not missing but is currently being held in my kitchen and has permanently replaced my rice maker which was immediately tossed to the wind. So please don’t call the police they won’t be able to help you. Being that she is related to Harry my lawyer has stated that… “it is legal to keep her as your pet project.”

As a side note, I love to eat and share recipes and if you would like to share a recipe with myself and my audience and be featured on this site please feel free to contact  me via the contact form on this site.

Underneath is the recipe for cooking the perfect rice.

Enjoy! Ciao Biatches! 

Utensils needed:

1 nonstick frying pan
1 stainless steel pot with a lid
1 wooden spatula

Perfect Rice Recipe:

1 cup of dry jasmine rice. Put the rice inside of the pan and cover with a few tablespoons of olive oil. Season with rice with a quarter tablespoon of chicken base, onion powder, garlic, and Goya sazon seasoning. Heat the rice slowly in the pan for a minute or two until the rice is searing hot.
Immediately pour the searing rice into the pot and pour hot water into the pot until the water is at least one inch above the rice. Cover the rice immediately. Let the rice stand for 5 minutes.
After 5 minutes, turn on the flame very low and let the rice simmer slowly until the rice is fully cooked. usually 20 minutes or more.
Add a little more water if you are one who prefers a softer more sticky rice.

Why Hating Mexicans Just Isn’t Worth It…

I Hate, I Mean  Mexicans

 

No matter what we seem to learn ignorance continues to be spread abroad…

With President Obama long gone and his legacy undone by our current unscrupulous, maniacal, narcissistic, and sometimes seemingly racist President Donald Trump, running the world’s leading nation back to it’s barbaric roots of ancient Rome. Please don’t forget immigration reform is an issue that still plagues us.

Recently, I went to a Taco Bell within allentown, PA in tow with my coworker Natasha D. and my mother.

(I know this sounds racist just look at what Obama has become in the eyes of DJT…) but I had a very hard time communicating with my server while trying to get him to get my order right. Every time I opened my mouth to speak all he could do and say while shrugging his shoulders was, “Make like this.”

I tried ordering three Crunchy Taco Supremes. But nevertheless, obviously the Mexican man serving me couldn’t for the life in me understand what I was saying. So while placing my order the man I happened to turn my head to the right and saw a young Caucasian girl working there as well and asked her, “Is it true that President Donald Trump is building a wall around all the Taco Bells in America.You know, Natasha I, and my momz just had to crawl through a long ass tunnel to get inside.”

 

Yes, The journey to the Promised  land of Taco Supreme was long and arduous.

 

However, before the woman opened her mouth things quickly escalated and the scene got more ugly than Godzilla wearing a prom dress, hot-pink lipstick and high hill shoes.

The man brazenly replied with a bit of an attitude Even though I hadn’t directed my question towards him he quickly replied, “Cumo Soko Say…?” or something to that effect.

 Angrily I spat, “Yeah mutha f%@ker! You goddamn right I come to stay! Ya wet-back, bean burrito eatin’ chipa-choloda, enchilada, f@$k-faced bastard!”

“Si-Si, senior.” He stated calmly while trying to diffuse the situation after seeing my eyes becoming blazing hot. Smiling a bit he winked at the girl then used his hands in a strange gesture and pointed at the menu trying to change the subject saying, “My jefe Mr. Marron say, ‘Make like this this.’

Again, I became even more peeved — due to our lack of communication as he pointed at my coworker and mother who were standing close by stating, “Madre amigo…?”

By then I was boiling over more than overcooked pasta in a stainless steel pot filled with too much water. Overflow was in effect. 

Take Note: If you don’t know by now I will be the first to tell you that the number one rule among African American men is that if you want to start a fight quickly…just say anything wrong about his momma and fists will fly faster than Superman with his ass on fire!

Me and my new Amigos. You probably can’t see me because there are so many of them. Hmmm, that does sound racist doesn’t it? If it does I apologize. They were once friendly Muppets with a hit show but were deported by Donald Trump.

Before he could damn near finish his sentence I jumped over the counter like a spring loaded kangaroo but Natasha grabbed me while yelling “Dion! Please stop it! Calm down, I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean anything offensive.”

However, her words fell on deaf ears as I vehemently yelled back at Natasha stating, “Oh, hell nah! I know he didn’t just call my mother a goddamn hoe!”

Well, I guess you all can figure out the end of this story for yourselves. Let’s just say the outcome wasn’t pleasant for either me or my new found amigo Miguel Ramos. After spending the weekend in jail and paying a hefty fine, I was forced to watch the video below, and I believe you should do the same if you find yourself hating Mexicans.

Hate really is a dirty word…Ciao bitches!

 

 

Crazy Ass Video Of The Week: V-Day

Valentine’s Day is here! And it’s filled with life, love, golden gifts,  chocolate hearts that melt away, and smiles for many. However, there is is a darker side of this this holiday not mentioning it’s Babylonian history of Cupid; Lust. Aside from the facts most people don’t give a hoot about as log as they are receiving the benefits thereof.

Consequently, this video is for those who fall in between. You love the sites but hate the day! Why? Because…that special someone has hurt you. Anyway, love is about forgiveness, well, at least that’s what is written in ICorithians, Chapter 13. Sooooo, be patient will ya, and save the drama for another day. there’s always February 15th for revenge.

Enjoy! LOL!

 

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Crazy Ass Video of the Week: When Zombies Attack!

Yes, the zombies are here! However, unlike the ones you are used to seeing on shows such as The Walking Dead, or movies such as Resident Evil. These zombies are out to have a little fun this Halloween. In this Crazy Ass Video of the Week watch as real live zombies attack the living.

Watching this video will indeed make you laugh, but it also makes me wonder what people really believe in the world today? Do you believe in the undead?

Hey let us know.

Ciao bitches….LOL!

Get Zombified! Halloween is coming and don’t forget to click the link to join the new Urban Horror Writers Facebook Group. Hell, it’s about time ‘negroes’ aren’t dying in the first scene…LOL!

When Zombies Attack Video

 

 

 

Had enough laughs yet?

Have a bit more fun by entering the Halloween 666 Giveaway sponsored by Kenya Moss Dyme and six other urban fiction writers who are blazing the scene with their horrific tales of murder, ghost, ghouls, zombies, and babies who refuse to die. Along with those six books, you also get to treat yourself and your friends to a few bags of treats. So get to clicking, share and have fun because what else are you doing? And besides that its free! Watch the video below to learn more. Scroll below the video to begin entering the contest!!!

Halloween 666 Giveaway Video

 

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Enter the Halloween 666 Contest Here…

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The post Crazy Ass Video of the Week: When Zombies Attack! appeared first on Dion Cheese.

I Hate Kenya Moss Dyme

There are 6 Reasons Why…

 

The book responsible for my hatred…

Yes, I said it, and I will say it again loud and clear. “I hate Kenya Moss Dyme with a hellacious Passion. I know that hatred is a strong word when speaking of someone. However my mother Joyce Cheese did not raise me with a fork tongue. Therefore, if you are reading this article KMD, or, if one of you reading this  knows her… Please tell KMD that I will burn her books if I see them anywhere. In fact if she was on fire, and the curls of her hair were lit up more than a Christmas tree on December 25th, I wouldn’t even throw dog piss on you. Instead, I would throw lighter fluid mixed with gasoline upon you. I would then throw a post card on top of your head that says, “Tell Satan I said hello!”

What’s the problem? you ask. My problem is that Kenya Moss Dyme is a tease, a fake, a rebel, and a low-down maverick of the worse kind.

How my hatred Began

Yes, this book was great but if I had a hammer your fingers I would break…Oh, I almost forgot there’s Speech Dragon

The situation began when I visited the author’s site kenyamoss.com after doing an editorial review on what I will admit to be a great book entitled: The Pulpit Chronicles: Prey For Me. Yes, she smiled and yessed me to death about wanting to be a great writer, and possibly doing a future interview here on dioncheese.com which at the time I agreed. But sadly enough I find myself  having to agree with my former publisher who feels that ‘she ain’t right…’ And, to top it off I’d go as far as saying she’s a slick snake in the grass, hanging out with a vet oil salesman.

Anyway, after visiting her site I saw that she had a new horror collection yet to be released going on so I asked, “Hey, Ms. Moss can I get a taste of that Daymares’ collection you have there?”

At the time she did the usual, yessing me to death and later that day I checked mt email, and I was like “Hot Damn! I hit the jackpot!”  I had been privileged to having gotten a pre-released e copy of the book. Consequently, after downloading and opening my new gift I was left rather disappointed having received only one out of the 7 included; hence my 6 reasons I hate KMD.

After reading the first short of within the Daymares novel entitled Baby Mine, I was ready to feast with my eyes on the rest of this tell-tale series of beautifully pieced, eye tantalizing 7 course meal for the mind. Picking up my cell phone I called KMD. When she picked up all I could say (sounding like Smeagol from Lord of The Rings albeit) I said, “More!”

“What” she shouted. “Who is this?”

“Mooore!” was all I could say.

Click! was my answer.

After attempting three more times to get more from her, and ending in the same result. I just emailed her requesting or rather demanding that she send more immediately or else…

Yes, I stole these. She would not release them otherwise…

Not good. The else was that I sent Mu from Gorilla Tactics to bring back more. He delivered the message as per my request, Upon his return from Detroit Michigan he handed me a handwritten letter from Kenya Moss Dyme. Eagerly I opened it. I was elated that she took the time to respond to my request. Upon opening the golden edged, embossed envelope I took out the letter which was handwritten on fine paper. I held my breath in high anticipation. My eyes grew as wide as saucers as they awaited another treat from one of the best damn writers I know only t be let down by the very word written therein…“Moooore.”

I almost yelled out the notorious ‘B’ word on her ass. As a matter of fact I did but when I called her she answered immediately. My mind yelled out…but my mouth shouted, Moooore. I mean I let her I let her have it to the 10th power but Mu kept laughing saying, “Aye dawg, why do you keep yelling more into the phone?

I looked at him frowned and asked, “What?”

“Yo dawg, you keep yelling mooore, into your cellphone every time you call chick.” was his response,

Perplexed, I didn’t bother questioning him because deep down inside I knew something wasn’t right. So, I wrote this article in order to address, and expose KMD for the monster I know she is inside. Only someone who has an evil soul could write something so deliciously mind disturbing as Baby Mine, and yet, sound so kind and well-spoken over the phone.   The story had much originality to it, moved fast paced, kept me on my toes such as a graceful ballet dancer would be, while all the time having my mind scream out, WTF! with every turn of the page. Yes, Baby Mine does indeed give a new meaning to the -words, an evil seed which is the result of an inherent act of lovemaking between a former couple after having a one night affair. It’s just too damn bad I can’t finish the whole book. I mean, who does that? Who in the hell invites a fat greedy man to a smorgasbord only to clear the house after he has eaten his first plate. You know what KMD! MOOOORE You!

I know that last sentence didn’t come out right but if everyone sees this they know what I mean…KMD!

Among other things I hate about Kenya Moss Dyme

1. She doesn’t sale 99 cent books which makes her a damn maverick, and that really plucks my nerves because let’s be real people… Why should I pay more than the price of 99 cents for her book when there are a lot of poorly written, badly edited, 99 cent books for the choosing. Hell, she hasn’t even given away a free out dated coach bag yet that she’s been blabbing about.

2. She has yet to release her book, and I still am having Daymares as I wait for the First Of the Month to show up in my inbox along with 5 other shorts, ad I want them free do you hear me. This is torture, and if any of you are like me Please leave a reply on this article so that KMD knows that she’s dead wrong for making us wait. Hell, at least people who write 99 cent books give us a story every damn month even if most are not that great.

3. Must I say it again? Release the damn book already! Stop playing with your fans like that!

4. Stop being on FB joining discussions, and  mentioning other authors. Be selfish for a change, and focus on completing your novels and make us happy for once! Mooore You!

5. Smile for once, you’re books are still selling even though we pay a little more for them. So you have proven that it’s makes cents spending a few more dymes on a great product to feast our eyes on. And I shouldn’t have to steal one of your pics just to get one of you smiling. It’s a damn shame to make a reviewer do so.

6. Change the title of your book. Don’t call your book of shorts Daymares if you are going to keep us in the dark.

Moooore Kenya Moss Dyme! Mooore! I say. Because I guess after reading a portion of your upcoming novel of short stories I can’t say anything else.

Stay tuned for an exclusive preview only on iurban.org.

To see some of her other works check out these amazing stories by clicking below…

Amazon.com Widgets

 

The post I Hate Kenya Moss Dyme appeared first on Dion Cheese.

$25 No Purchase Giveaway

 

Double Click me Please!!!

Hold up! Before I give you the 911 on my editorial review concerning The Pulpit Chronicles, let me clear the air about a few things. First of all, I must say this about Kenya Moss Dyme; If she were a stick of dynamite someone must have already lit the fuse because she is about to blow up! In my personal opinion, I must add that Kenya has what the Urban Genre has genuinely been seeking, talent, and originality. Don’t get me wrong, there are many talented individuals out there, but they have been overrun by a swarm of unseemingly misguided individuals whom tend to believe that writing a book means simply picking up a pen and writing words on paper. Next, before going any further, below is my full unadulterated review of Prey For Me…. Therefore, read on and click the link below at the end of this article and read the first two chapters of a great novel, Rate It, leave a Review (Good, Bad, Or Indifferent), then Share it, and you are eligible to win. Take note that every contest gets better with time. Here, and on The Urb we value your time, and opinion. That’s why we are giving one of you an Amazon Gift Card six days from now as a thank you for your participation. So read on my fellow book lovers, appreciators, and newfound “Hell, I’ll read that for 25 dollars.” Good Luck!

 

The Breakdown

Consequently, what The Pulpit Chronicles brings to the table is an eloquently written, sumputious meal for the mind. It is a well-written, timeless story that has many memorable characters such as my two favorites; Jamal, and TeeTee. For the most part, this story will make you think twice about leaving your children in the hands of someone who we all are taught to revere since birth. Let me just say that like one checks under the hood of a car looking for oil leaks. One should check under a man’s robe before allowing him to lay hands on you and yours.

The Plot

The plot I must say is a twisted tale of a man who has a perverse past that is intertwined with who he has become. Reverend Goody, the main character is as sweet as licorice candy, and completely twisted as well. He is described as a fine looking gentleman with all the right words for anyone looking for salvation in the world. However, he is more of a monster than King Kong mixed with a bit of Jeffrey Dahmer, and has inherited the despicable ways of his Grandfather Paw Paw, an overly abusive, domineering grandfather who everyone will want to kill several times over. Nonetheless, Reverend Theo. Although a monster deserves a bit of sympathy, despite wanting to feel sympathetic for this man, I still felt the need to stone him to death because of what he had become. This story will shock you as you turn the pages. You will witness how an innocent child becomes the neighborhood monster, we all know, in addition to whom we have come to trust, as did Keynetha; a single parent of one child.  The end of this tale will not leave you disappointed.

More On My Favorite Characters

I find Jamal, the young man who felt the need to break away from the iron fist of an overbearing mother, to be my favorite character in this novel. Throughout these hypnotic pages, Jamal sought to find release from his prison-like home, however, in doing so, he finds himself under the misdirected influential care of Reverend Theo Goody who has more than your average sweet tooth. I’m not one to give away a great storyline; let’s just say Jamal finds himself in a bind that would make even the Devil himself turn red with rage.

My second favorite character in this thrilling novel is Keynetha’s mentally supportive cousin TeeTee. She is a wise cracking, ghetto, loud mouth, rat packing, who’s-my-babies’-daddies type of woman who is your stereotypical b**ch from the hood. Pardon my French. She’s the one woman who everybody loves and hates at the same time. Tajuana AKA TeeTee is smart, uncanny, and so real to the point that you will either laugh with her, or cry.

My Summary

When I first received my copy of The Pulpit Chronicles: Prey For Me in my mailbox along with an author photo, some book marks for two other books (A Good Wife, and Daymares) which I am now adding to my list of must reads along with the bio of Kenya Moss Dyme. My first thought was why does this woman look so angry? And why did she send me a book with the word ‘Prey’ misspelled? I thought the  i-Team had been playing games once again.

However, after making a few calls and speaking to Malarie Mitchell, and a few others they felt that I would enjoy this story. After reading the synopsis which had me wanting to know more I sat down and began reading. Soon thereafter, I looked up at my clock and two hours passed before my stomach growled signaling that it was time to eat. I had lost track of time as I entered into the world of this mad woman with a great mind. I will end this by saying, Kenya Moss Dyme has something to smile about because I have rated this story a 5 out of 5 stars, and also recommended it as the Book of the Month for iUrban.org’s Magazine.

To enter  into this  $25 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway  Click Here…

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Inside of The Interrogation Room

Authors, do not take this woman lightly…You have been warned!

Being inside Marilyn “OG” Brown’s interrogation room is a scary place to be for most. It causes panic attacks in some, hyperventilation in others, hives, cold sweats, nausea, and even a severe case of diarrhea of the mouth of those who just won’t shut up.

Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that I have experienced all these things recently. And yes, I told everything I knew and then some. The interrogator came down on me hard with her iron fist, and I whimpered like a one-hundred-twenty-pound, yellow-back coward who had to fight against Iron Mike in his prime at the rigid hands of Marilyn “OG Publications” Brown.

However, despite the above the experience of being inside the interrogation room, it was exactly the opposite which I experienced over a decade-and-half ago. Back then I was naïve, and ignorant as to what I was facing, and ended up with a twenty year sentence.

But being an author inside the realm of Marilyn “OG” Brown’s interrogation room was indeed a heralding experience too say the least. Did I mention pleasant, and fun as well. I would recommend her to any author who seeks to expose themselves to a new audience, and wants to know why pipes burst under pressure. Marilyn’s style of interviewing authors is efficient, effective and done with military precision. So, if you’re an author looking to do a fast-paced interview that will definitely put some highlights in your career. Marilyn “OG” Brown comes with the highest recommendation from dioncheese.com, and my team at The Urb.

When given the opportunity, I had the privilege of finding out more about her. And, it wasn’t easy because Marilyn is always busy honing her craft which she does very well; catapulting authors’ careers in an environment that is not very conducive to what she does. However giving the Facebook Platform, her interviews merely vanish after a few hours thereby diminishing her effectiveness but will sharpen any author’s ability to handle themselves in a fast-paced setting.

Fortunately, I feel blessed to have the platform to tell others about this wonderful woman and the great job she is doing; which is helping new authors get discovered. I also had the opportunity to ask some questions about her origin. Marilyn, you will find is as candid as they come. Therefore without any drawbacks I introduce Marilyn “OG” Brown.

Let The Questioning Begin!

DionCheese.com: How did you become an author? Was it because you weren’t allowed to have any Xanax as a child? LOL!

LOL! But seriously, I’ve always had a passion for writing or telling stories as a young child. I used it to tame my vivid imagination. Although writing has always been my passion I was detoured by some life’s challenges. After having my first child, graduating from college, owning my own business unfortunately, I decided to start using illegal drugs. My life became a downward spiral of drugs, jail and homelessness. I was caught in the grips of drug addiction for almost 20 years. It wasn’t until my husband came home from work and ask me “what do you want to do for the rest of your life, because this shit has got to stop!” I said ” I want to write book”. That following week when he got paid he brought me a computer, this is when “SLYCE” was born. Writing saved my life. I’ve been clean for nine years.

Why did you start the Slyce Book Club? Were you out to expose the cutthroats in the business?

No, I started SLYCE THE BOOK CLUB three years ago. I was a new author, and knew nothing about the LIT GAME. I figure I’d provide a forum where authors who like myself could come and meet each other, get some information, and help each other out. I started out with 44 people and now we’ve grown close to 4000. I’m Blessed.

How long have you been published? And what can we expect from you in the near future besides terrorizing others inside your Interrogation Room?

Well, I’ve been a published author for four years. I’ve written DREAM KILLERS, FOREVER A GANGSTA and a G-4-LIFE. All of these books are currently in the process of being revised and re-released on my own imprint O.G. (Only GOD) PUBLICATION. DREAM KILLERS will be released DECEMBER 2014. I have also done a collab with Aija Butler for her book THE JOURNEY. My short story is FOREVER A GANGSTA- Murder Was The Case. It’s the beginning of my true life story RAW AND UNCUT. I’m also doing a collab with Cash Street Author in 2015.

How do you feel about the current state of Urban Fiction? Do you think it has become over saturated with too many writers with not enough experience?

The state of urban fiction has been this way for a minute. Yes, everybody and their mama is writing a book. But to say people don’t have enough experience… the veteran authors were new authors at one time. If you don’t get out there and let your pen do the talking how will you know what you can do…? In others words your work will speak for itself. If it’s good, or wonderful. If not, then go back to the drawing board. Or, in most cases nowadays the key board. If it’s something you aspire to do… DON’T GIVE UP!

What authors have influenced you on your path of success?

Many authors have been influential in my journey. Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Zora Neale Hurston were inspirational in encouraging my reading interest., Sistah Souljah, Terri McMillan sparked the fire and Wahida Clark made a sistah a believer. After reading her book I said “I can do this!” I also have the utmost respect and love for all of the authors who are in SLYCE THE BOOK CLUB, they keep me motivated!!!

Do you have any last words for the fans of urban lit, or would you like to cuss me out?

My last were to the fans of urban lit or any genre, STAY FOCUS ON YOUR DREAM, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS “KEEP GOD FIRST”!!!:-You can join Marily “OG” Brown by clicking Here.

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The Watchlist: Up-N-Coming: Author Godfather

Meet The Man of Steel

Author Godfather

If anyone knows anything at all when it comes to going hard… I would definitely pull the voting lever for  Author Godfather AKA Wesley W Hunter who can be found locked away working on his next thrilling novel that has intrigued many within his fanbase. However, that’s if he’s not hanging out within the prison yard with two steel shanks taking candy bars owed to him as he states: “Just because… ” When I sat down with him during a local visit inside the pen he interrupted our conversation after offering me a treat which I thought he meant from one of the  local vending machines within the visitation area.

Being extremely hungry at the time I graciously accepted. However, I found myself perplexed when he got up and walked pass the machine heading outside the confinement of the visitation area unescorted. At the time, I thought that I had offended him in some of manner when I called him.

Simply not responding at all, he stormed off heading towards the prison yard which I saw from one of the prison monitors that sat upon the main desk sitting only a few feet away from where we sat. I watched curiously as he walked through the corridors and out to the prison court yard where he started doing his Kelis thing-a-ling; Milkshaking for all the boys in the yard. 

Soon thereafter, I could no longer see this brave man as he walked into real belly of the beast. But to my delight after his return, I was extremely surprised that we sat and ate the most delicious 4 course meal that I did not know could be produced within in such an immured, volatile, atmosphere filled with angry, frustrated, muscular, testosterone driven men who are severely limited to what they can possess.

Yes, we conversed while eating a main course of Roasted Duck, Chicken Amore, Winter Wild Greens; a dish mixed greens with spiced pecans, apples, dried berries, and goat cheese crumbles in a forest berry vinaigrette. There was much more indeed. But nevertheless, we finished our fascinating meal with White Chocolate Amaretto Cheesecake. Amazed, I asked him…”How’d you do this?”

Wiping the corners of his mouth with an embroidered napkin that had “The Milkshake King” imprinted on it he asked, “Do you really need to know this?”

After reading the imprint I quickly stated, “Never mind. I think I have my answer.”

Thereafter, Author Godfather gave me a killer look that only a man in his position could muster. He stated, “I already know that you know. And if you ever tell anyone outside these walls, I can reach out and touch you. Shake Shake!”

I simply responded, “Never would I do such a thing sir.” I smiled knowing that I was lying to him while I continued licking on the my desert plate as though this would be my last meal, and the rest is history.

But I will say this publicly though to Author Godfather, You will be forever remembered Mr. Milkshake, I’ma kill you, if you ever tell anyone man. You make the best damn cheesecake that any man could dream of eating, while flexing your muscles, and doing your Kelis-thing-aling. And, you are also one helluva author who brings more than rehashed stories to the Urban fiction genre. I personally thank and congratulate you. Truly, I hope we can reconnect on the outside, and get your sanity back.

Despite the above mentioned…Isn’t it great to have the last words….hmmm. This video is dedicated to you sir.

On a serious note, Author godfather is a well-respected veteran in the literary arena who brings more than just meaningless words on paper. Writing everything from self help books, poetry, erotica, and street crime fiction. One can assuredly find something that will arouse their intellect. Having served the better part of 25 years in state prison he has also published non-fiction works as well under his own imprint Urban Diamonds Publishing entitled:

• Gangs 101: A Focus on Solutions

• Urban Books 101: How to Write and Publish From A to Z

• Everything He Should Know: The Empowerment guide for guys of all ages.

• True Blue (The Autobiography of a life-long Crip)

Meet The Mover & Shaker

DIONCHEESE.COM Where are you from, and where are  you currently located?

Godfather: I’m from the sin-filled city of Angeles. I’m currently located in the California prison system.

Wow, you’re in prison. Have you ever dropped the soap, and if so, what  happened? Did you manage to fight off the midget who attacked you in the  shower? *

The Godfather: LOL! Naw, I guess I’m just try’na do like you and get use to it. LOL.

How many books have you written thus far? And where can they be purchased?

Meet a man who has a future…

 

The Godfather: I’ve written over 20 books. A lot of them haven’t come out yet. The ones that have can all be found on Amazon, etc.

Are you published under a brand, or self-published?

I’m self-published under my own company URBAN DIAMONDS PUBLISHING, LLC But I’m also signed to DC Bookdiva Publications and BenOfficial Books for some of my upcoming projects.

On dioncheese.com , I like to show others some love as well and I know that you do too. So, tell us something about another author that you feel we should know about?*

Aw. Wow. That’s a tuff one. I really do like to support people and it’s hard to make just one choice. But I’ve been real impressed with the work QUEEN BROWN has been putting out, and Author Shawn Starling also has a pen game worth notice.

Bonus Question: Do men with hairy asses pretending to be females piss you

off like it does me? And do you have any last words for those on lockdown,

your friends, and new authors looking for success?

The Godfather: Well, I’m glad you’ve found your calling, Im sure the naked booty men appreciate you. I just hate that you obviously had to explore a lot of hairy asses to get to them. Lol.

To my folks on lock, keep trying keep pushing, and keep stacking that material until u get your chance and if I can be of help, holla.

Author Bio

As long-time incarcerated author, who’s spent over 20 years seeking an opportunity, to get in the door and be recognized, Godfather, speaks, first hand, to the challenges which have plagued the West Coast author in general, and the incarcerated West Coast author in particular. Wesley “Godfather” Hunter is an L.A. native and author of the self-help/howto/ advisory /women’s empowerment guide EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD KNOW: What Daddy never told you and Mama never knew. As well as the autobiography TRUE BLUE: The life and times of a real and true Mafioso. Which journals his travels as a 98 Main Street Mafia Crip, beginning in 1979, and takes you up to and through the case which finds him facing 36 counts of robbery, 2 counts of attempted murder on Deputies, a hostage situation and a 12 hr police standoff. He has also published an urban erotic short-story collection called MR.BIG STUFF and a 3 volume of EVERYDAY POEMS: For letters and cards.

With over 20 completed manuscripts, and having just signed with the indie-major DC Bookdiva Publications and Ben Official Books, you can expect that many more of Godfather’s titles will be coming to market soon.

Having taught urban lit. classes, since in prison, added his ink to various projects, written poems and social political articles for various newspapers, etc. Godfather is no stranger to the art and craft of the pen. Author of fiction, non-fiction, self-help, howto, erotica, poetry, news articles, autobiography, as well as a frequent interviewer, blogger and former spokesman, Godfather, is now ready to make some noise and he’s well prepared to do it.

For more detail/info check out the detailed interview titled INCARCERATED SCARFACE on the all new hot spot for industry news www.StraightChaser.com and get to know this all around talent as he emerges from the shadows.

You can all help Author Godfather end his tyranny of Milkshaking in the California state prison by purchasing one of his novels by clicking the on the icons below:

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Amazon.com Widgets

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Crazy Ass Video of The Week: When To Hold It?

Sometimes we find ourselves wondering when we should hold it? And, if you’re wondering what in the hell I am talking about? I will will tell you what it is not. It’s not something you ever do if you are a manly man under any circumstance.

The situation in the video below arises out of a need of desperation. To smoke while….You’ll see. I didn’t believe that people were so courteous in these times. Maybe a little too courteous. I was always told not to shake it too many times unless I was playing with it. But I won’t lie I still play with it from time to time, and so does my Annabella. But that’s a completely different subject. My question to you all is, is this some crazy ass s**t, or has prison hardened my heart? I don’t know. You tell me.

Ciao biatches!

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DJ Cheese: The King Still Reigns

King Kut Label before he became label mates with RUNDMC on Profile Records

Many years have gone by since I’ve seen my estranged brother Robert “King Kut” Cheese. Meaning not literally seeing him, but rather bonding together as family. Not because of sibling rivalry, or anything of that nature but mostly due to life’s circumstances. I guess one has to play with the hand dealt. Anyway, today is the day my brother was born. and it has bought about a moment of reflection, honor, love, and respect that sometimes I don’t think  he understands even exists within our family.

However, the reason I’m writing this post is to share the love that I have for my older brother who came from nothing within the arms of a loving mother who bared and cared for the eight of us the best way that she could. How at times, when I wanted to sleep, but he blasted music day in and day out in that small room we all (Robin, Poopsie, me, and Artis) shared  in Townhouse Apartments perfecting his craft of turntable turntablism which later wowed the world by winning the DMC (Disco Music) Championship.

I can still recall the days when my brother played music inside the closet of  the tiny bedroom we shared, and the wild moments that we all shared as brothers. Many too wild to reveal to the public. But yet, we all had fun. It was because of him that I too entered into the world of Hip Hop even though it took a lot of work to convince him I was ready. We were like day and night. He was the popular extrovert while I was the book smart, shy, introvert. Nevertheless, while I secretly honed my craft of becoming a rapper. My big bruh, on the other hand, slayed every DJ on sight including his iconic idol; Grand Master Flash who was an amazing DJ and one of the most humblest men that I have ever met.

Continuing on his warpath to success before names like Jay-Z were even thought of. My brother (Poopsie aka DJ Cheese) later met Ed Fletcher AKA Duke Bootee his former manager, and producer who wrote one of the most well-known rap songs of all time…The Message. Duke managed to pull two rappers from Elizabeth, NJ who were known as simply ‘K’ and ‘G’ among the masses. The Trio were formed into a group called Word of Mouth featuring DJ Cheese. They released their hit single King Kut which literally took over the airwaves, and I found myself  blessed to witness the making of history right in the studio.

My brothers and me in our younger years…Say Cheese everyone!

Thanks to my mother who trusted me enough to get up and go to school the next day.

Anyway, I remember taking a copy of the track to school before it was quite finished. The track at that time had some bells, snare drums, a few scratches and rough vocals. I remember letting a few of my classmates hear the tape, and me excitedly exclaiming, “My brother’s record is going to be hot!”

My friend just looked at me shaking his head and stated, “Man, I hate to say this but your brother song is kinda whack.”

My response to him was, “Okay, we’ll see.”

A few months later after the track was released the same guy came back and later apologized expressing how wrong he was. We both laughed and played that song everyday until the tape popped. Little did I realize at the time that I held a rare piece of history inside my hand.

But to make a long story short, my brother was born on this day of August 14th, 1966 and I could go on forever about his achievements. From his start coming from the projects of Potter’s Crossing in Edison,  NJ to our arrival on Arlington Avenue, in Plainfield, NJ to him partying with Will Smith in this video over in England. I could go on forever. But in the end all I can say if you are reading this is, I love you, and I salute you big bruh. Yahweh bless! You are a living legend!

DJ Cheese Hanging with Will Smith AKA  The Fresh Prince

 

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