Desiree DeOrto's Blog, page 3
May 20, 2014
Casey Bond Cover Reveal!
Welcome to the cover reveal of Resist, Book 2 of The Harvest Saga by Casey L. Bond. Let's check out the full cover!!!
RESIST:
Abby Kelley returns home from the Greater city of Olympus to find that things in Orchard Village are bad, very bad. The Olympian Guard has taken over village affairs. The Lessers are being worked to the bone in the coldest winter Orchard has seen. Villagers are being dragged away for the slightest indication of what they call “resistance.” She needs to keep her head down and her mouth shut. But, it’s so hard to do when everything within you screams rebellion.
Kyan is coming on strong, trying to convince her to take a chance on him. Shocking news of Crew’s activities in Olympus sweeps through the Villages. When Abby is taken away by the Olympian guard, Kyan sends word to Vesuvius for help. But, no one could have predicted their idea of help or what they might expect in return.
Who will be left to pick up the pieces of Abby’s heart?
Releasing in the Summer of 2014
REAP:
The remnants of the United States of America have been divided. From five enormous, technologically-advanced cities, the Greaters rule over the Lessers. In the Lesser village of Orchard, things are not as perfect as Abby Kelley thinks they are. When the apple harvest draws near and the Greater’s engineered fruits become too much for one village to handle alone, reinforcements from neighboring villages are called upon.
Having to choose between her best friend, whom she has no romantic feelings for, and mysterious newcomer Crew, Abby finds herself in the middle of a harvest that she had no intention of becoming a part of. She becomes involved in a situation that threatens the strict rule of the Greaters, and just might give the Lessers hope for a better tomorrow. But, can she help the Lessers without losing Crew? And if she chooses Crew, will she lose her best friend?
REAP Excerpt:
Something was touching my face, caressing my cheek. The skin that brushed mine was rough, hardened by the work we all share. Am I dreaming? I waited, trying to see if this was real or part of a dream. Whichever it was, it was nice, comforting.
Rough fingertips moved over the parts of my back that weren’t split open and packed with gunk. I sucked in a breath and held it. This was real. I moved my head and saw his silhouette against the candlelight flickering in from the kitchen and living room. “Ky?” My voice was raspy and barely sounded like my own. Sleep and exhaustion filled every chord.
“Shh. I’m here.” Suddenly, I was very aware that I was lying shirtless on my bed. Even though, I was on my stomach, that didn’t help me feel any less naked in front of my best friend, who happened to be a member of the male species—a very fine male specimen according to my girlfriends.
I knew he was handsome. I wasn’t blind. But, I didn’t see him like that. He’d dated many of my friends and now was getting ready to marry Paige Winters in just a few weeks, after the harvest was complete and the orchards picked bare. His fingertips trace the in-tact skin between my shoulder blades and I tensed under his touch.
He’d kissed my head and temple and hugged me more times than I can count, but this was somehow different. This was more intimate. His touch was delicate, gentle compared to his normal strength and anything but playful. “Ky?”
He didn’t answer. His fingers explored my back, careful not to stray too close to the wounds that streaked across my skin. “Kyan?”
“Shut up, Abby. Just let me... Just shut up.” He’d never talked to me like this. His voice was raspy and he’d never, ever told me to shut up before. So I did. I wasn’t sure why. He shouldn’t have been touching my skin. Shouldn’t have been caressing the good parts left of me, but sitting with me in the dark, he was doing exactly that and I was allowing it.
Paige would be furious if she saw us now. She’d always had a jealous streak, had always hated any girl who dated or flirted with Ky. Lately, she told anyone and everyone who will listen that Kyan was hers and that she hated me with a passion. She wasn’t lying. She hated me. Rather, she hated my relationship with Ky. He was my best friend. I wasn’t interested in him as anything more or anything else. I’d told her that. He’d told her that a million times. But, she refused to listen, adamant that I wanted him for myself, adamant that he wanted me.
I honestly didn’t have those types of feelings for Kyan. I never have had them. Ever. And up until now, I’d always thought he felt the same. But feeling his fingers exploring my skin made even me question that sentiment. And it scared me to death.
Want to check out the first book?
REAP Buy Links:
Amazon US: http://tinyurl.com/pht888t
Amazon UK: http://tinyurl.com/kvj83zp
Amazon CA: http://tinyurl.com/p6djny5
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reap-...
REAP BOOK Trailer:
Trailer: http://animoto.com/play/wEjFgIPPVZPTV1ANgQuf4w
or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnuthOAy02s
Contact Casey:
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
Facebook: www.facebook.com/authorcaseybond
Twitter: @authorcaseybond
Website: http://caseybond.tateauthor.com
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/caseyb007/re...
Other Books by Casey L. Bond: Winter Shadows, Devil Creek, Pariah (Releasing 5/14), Shady Bay and Resist, Book 2 of The Harvest Saga (Late Summer 2014).
May 9, 2014
Within The Shadows, Part One
Hey everyone! So I've decided to participate in this writing thing... you should know how it goes ^.^ I'm going to be writing a short story every month, and separating it into four parts, one part releasing each week of the month! So, without further ado, here's Part One of this month selection entitled: Within The Shadows © Desiree DeOrto 2014
“Baby, you know what I love most about you?” She pasted on a smile as she turned in her seat, light fading in and out of the car as they whirled past the streetlights. The light didn't dispel the shadows that constantly lingered, taunting her peripheral vision. She clasped her hands together in her lap, trying to stop their shaking as the voices started whispering to her again.
“What’s that?” She asked, hoping her voice was soft instead of yelling over the voices that only she could hear.
He smiled, taking his eyes off the road to look at her. She softened under his gaze, momentarily forgetting about everything. About the shadows and the constant whispering. About the fact that she was crazy.
She turned away at that thought, looking out the windshield. Her breath caught in her throat at the black mass that was heading right for them, its fathomless form soaking in the light from the headlights. “I love how you…”
“Michael! Look out!” The steering wheel jerked, sending their car careening on the slick pavement heading straight for the guard rail. A scream erupted in her throat as they went air-born, effortlessly flipping over and over again. Her horror filled eyes locked onto Michael’s right before her world shattered, sending her straight into the shadows embrace.
The tires crunched to a stop, yanking Emily out of her memory as she jerked gracelessly forward. Disorientated, she blinked back tears, focusing on the inside of the taxi cab. That’s right, she thought as she pulled out an ear bud to hear the taxi driver over the roar of the music, Just a month at the Ozark, and I can go home. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the sounds of whispers that bombarded her, drowning out everything else. She shook her head, focusing on the driver’s bleary eyes in the rear view mirror.
Smiling tightly, she gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Are you sure you’re in the right place?” He asked, his voice edged with concern.
Frowning, she looked down at the piece of paper clutched in her hands as the whispers faded in and out. “Are we at the Ozark Plantation?”
“Yeah, but this place…”
They became louder, screaming through her mind, drowning out whatever he was saying. Her breathing hitched as sweat beaded on her forehead. Why wouldn't they go away? She pinched the bridge of her nose, staving off the pounding that started to build in her head.
“Then it’s the right place.” She blurted, ending whatever he was still going on about. Shoving money his way, she jammed the ear bud back in, sighing as the music drowned out the voices. Slamming the door behind her, she grabbed her suitcase, pulling it as she made her way up the driveway. The battered wheels bounced along behind her, dragging through the dust in areas, making her pull forcefully to get it back on track. Almost there, she thought as she pushed her bangs out of her face. Blowing out a breath, she paused, looking at the mansion before her.
It was decrepid. A shiver ran through her body as a sick feeling began to burn in the pit of her stomach. She could tell it was once beautiful, but over the passing years it had fallen into ruin. Where once the marble pillars gleamed in the sunlight, they now were cracked, aged from a gleaming white to a dull grey. Its stately appeal seemed to whither, drooping like the hunched shoulders of a crone. She frowned as she looked over the once magnificent landscape, now overgrown with weeds and vines, seeming to swallow everything in its path. Shadows clung to the house, giving it a sense of evil, eternal darkness.
“It’s okay,” she whispered to herself as she gathered her courage, “it’s just a job. An easy one. No need to get freaked out. Just have to stick it out for a while, and you’ll be set. You need the money, Em. The shadows aren’t real. They can’t hurt you.” She almost rolled her eyes. She sounded like a mix between her therapist and her friend, Becky. With her chin up high, she grabbed the handle of her suitcase and marched forward, ignoring the sense of dread that seemed to multiply with each step she took. The mansion loomed before her, swallowing her in its shadows. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she stepped up onto the crumbling stairs. The skies darkened overhead, giving a chill to the air as raindrops started to fall steadily around her, almost to the beat of the music blasting in her ears. She quickened her pace, her suitcase thumping along behind her.
Large oak doors loomed before her, bending toward her as if to shelter her in their embrace. She shook her head, trying to dispel the images as the shadows danced toward her. A lump lodged in her throat, almost chocking her as the ever present fear raised its head. Her hand shook as she raised it, reaching for the bronze, aged handle.
She screamed as the door jerked open in front of her, tripping over her suitcase in her hasty retreat. A hand reached out from the shadows beyond the door, grabbing her arm as she started falling backwards. A scream tore from her throat again as she was jerked forward, falling into the arms of the shadow beyond the hand, embracing her within the darkness. Her heart beat fast and furious against her chest, lending pain to her panic. She shoved off, scrambling backwards, her ear buds falling out, making the whispers rush into her, through her.
“Are you okay?”
She blinked back fear soaked tears as she looked up. A man stood before her, his hands out in front of him in supplication. Her hand shook violently as she brushed the hair back from her face. Piercing blue eyes stared down at her, concern forming a frown between them.
“No, I’m not okay! You scared the shit out of me!” She gasped out between panicked breaths. She closed her eyes, trying to block out everything and still her racing heart.
“I’m sorry. I thought that you were one of the town’s kids. They like to come up here and mess with things.”
Blearily, she looked up at him. “Who are you? I was told no one else was supposed to be here.” He squatted down in front of her, his presence alone chasing back the shadows. Her muscles relaxed as they faded along with the whispers, bringing a clarity that not even the medications could provide. She looked up at him, really looked at him and her heart stopped. Blue wasn’t the right word for his eyes. They were a contrast of colors, going from an almost purple on the outer rim with aqua marine in the middle and flecks of gold near the irises. He was handsome, beyond handsome. Perfectly formed black eyebrows framed his startling eyes with lashes that women would kill for. A straight, aristocratic nose led down to almost full lips. He smirked, a dimple forming in his cheek that trapped her attention. She blew out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as he reached out a hand to help her up. Taking it, a warmth flushed through her system at the contact. A feeling of safety coated her raw nerves like a healing balm.
“I’m Anthony, and no one told me you were coming either.”
Her knees locked beneath her, making her steady as she extracted her hand from his, wiping it on her pants as if to get rid of the sensation his touch left.
“Well that makes two of us.”
“Obviously.”
She fidgeted, trying to look at anything else but at him. “So, are you here to be a caretaker too?”He looked confused for a moment, then grinned again. “Yeah, you could say that. Is that why you’re here?”
She nodded, wrapping up her ear buds to keep her nervous fidgeting under control. “Yeah. My friend Becky left me a message about this place. I needed a job, so I took her up on it as a favor to a friend of hers.”
“Well, welcome to the Ozark Manor…” He trailed off, raising a brow at her.
Blushing, she reached out and took his hand, shaking it. “Emily. Emily Brewer.” His stare penetrated her, making her want to fidget again. She felt like a bug under a microscope.“Emily Brewer. Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“Well, let’s get inside. No use standing out here in the storm.” He reached behind her and grabbed her suitcase, forgoing the handle as he tossed it over his shoulder. Without a backwards glance, he turned and headed inside, leaving her to follow.
The entryway echoed with the thud of their footsteps. She noticed the farther away he got from her, the more the shadows advanced. Swallowing hard, she quickened her steps, practically keeping herself glued to his back.
“This place is a mess, but it’s dry at least.” He told her over her shoulder. “I’ll show you the grand tour, if you’d like, then take you up to a room.”
Nausea stirred in her stomach the farther they walked in. Paling, she stopped behind him. “I’m not feeling very well. Do you think we could skip the tour? I’d really like to lay down.” He turned, looking her over.
“Sure. There’s a bedroom that’s clean on the second floor. I’ll show you the way.”
She nodded absently behind him, feeling sicker by the moment. A cold sweat racked out across her body as they ascended the stairs. Dust motes floated in the dim light, dancing before her eyes. She kept her eyes trained on Anthony’s broad back, continuously swallowing down the bile that kept rising in her throat.
Emily… Emily… Emily… She froze, blinking back confusion. She knew that voice.
Emily… here… I’m here…
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes jerked up, clashing with Anthony’s. “Fine. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” He said, stepping closer to her.
She swept her gaze down, refusing to look at him. “Really, I just don’t feel well.” She could feel his eyes on her, almost branding her as he looked her over.
“Okay. The room’s just ahead.” She nodded, her eyes darting back and forth across the hallway. It can’t be him, she thought to herself as tears filled her eyes. I’m finally losing it. He’s dead. He’s not here. Her heart sank in her chest at that thought, choking her as a sob built in her throat. Anthony opened a door and walked inside a room, dropping her suitcase down in the middle of the floor.
”You can use this room. It isn’t much, but it’s cleaner than all the rest. I just changed the bedding so you’re good there, at least.”
“Thanks.” She muttered as she walked around him, her mind still on the voice that haunted her, called to her.
“Hey, are you sure you’re alright?”
“Look, thanks for your concern, but I’m fine. Really. Now if you don’t mind?” She gestured wearily behind her to the door. She didn’t like being rude, but the silenced voices was unnerving her more than what their constant presence did. She felt off, knowing that something was wrong. The hair rose on the back of her neck as she felt his gaze on her.
“Yeah, okay. If you need me, I’ll be downstairs. Just follow this hallway to…”
“I remember how to get to the staircase.”
“Alright then. I’ll leave you to get settled in.” She listened carefully at the sound of his retreating footsteps, finally relaxing as the door shut softly behind him. She breathed out a sigh of relief, her shoulders slumping as the tension left her.
She dug through her bag as the whispers started to fade in and out, growing louder with each passing second. Grabbing her pill bottle, she swallowed two, coughing a little as they temporarily caught in her throat. She reached for her iPod, her hands pausing over it. If she blared the music to drown out the voices, then she wouldn’t be able to hear him.
“He’s not here, Em. He’s never coming back!” She berated herself, forcing her hand to move. Forgoing the music, she grabbed her phone and flopped down onto the large canopy bed. Weariness lined every inch of her body as she dialed Becky’s number.
“Hey, this is Becky! I’m not here right now…” She frowned. Becky always answered her phone. Hearing the beep, she paused, for a moment not knowing what to say.
“Hey Beck, it’s me, Em.” She rolled her eyes. Of course Becky would know it was her. “Anyways, I’m just calling to let you know I made it to Ozark. Thanks for telling me there was going to be someone else here, by the way. Anyways, call me back, okay?”
Hanging up, she turned on her side and stared into space, letting her memories wash through her, fighting in her mind with the ever present shadows. Yawning, she closed her eyes and let her mind drift.Darkness descended, coating the room in a swash of ebony. She stirred, feeling a draft flit across her hair, moving the strands around like a gentle caress. Goosebumps rose across her arms. She arched her neck as the phantom caress moved down, stroking the tender skin of her neck to dip below her collar bone. Hef breathing panted out in front of her, misting the air as her warm breath clashed with the cold.
She moaned softly as the caress played just above the swell of her breast, making her skin tighten. “Emily… Emily baby… do you know what I love most about you?” Her eyes fluttered open. That voice. She knew that voice. The caress eased its way up to her throat, the sensation soft like a butterfly’s wing.
She blinked, trying to see through the darkness. A mass eased closer to her, darker than the shadows. As she opened her mouth to scream, the butterfly caress changed to a fist colder than iron and twice as strong. It wrapped around her throat, choking her. Panicked, she clawed at it, her hands falling through the mass, touching nothing. She tore at her neck as the mass pushed her down.
“Do you know what I love most about you?” Tears burned her eyes, racing down her cheeks as she fought uselessly against it.
A putrid stench washed across her face as the mass paused inches before her. Bile rose in her throat, only to be blocked as she suffocated.
“I love how you let me die, baby. And I’ll love how sweet your tortured soul will taste.”
“Baby, you know what I love most about you?” She pasted on a smile as she turned in her seat, light fading in and out of the car as they whirled past the streetlights. The light didn't dispel the shadows that constantly lingered, taunting her peripheral vision. She clasped her hands together in her lap, trying to stop their shaking as the voices started whispering to her again.
“What’s that?” She asked, hoping her voice was soft instead of yelling over the voices that only she could hear.
He smiled, taking his eyes off the road to look at her. She softened under his gaze, momentarily forgetting about everything. About the shadows and the constant whispering. About the fact that she was crazy.
She turned away at that thought, looking out the windshield. Her breath caught in her throat at the black mass that was heading right for them, its fathomless form soaking in the light from the headlights. “I love how you…”
“Michael! Look out!” The steering wheel jerked, sending their car careening on the slick pavement heading straight for the guard rail. A scream erupted in her throat as they went air-born, effortlessly flipping over and over again. Her horror filled eyes locked onto Michael’s right before her world shattered, sending her straight into the shadows embrace.
The tires crunched to a stop, yanking Emily out of her memory as she jerked gracelessly forward. Disorientated, she blinked back tears, focusing on the inside of the taxi cab. That’s right, she thought as she pulled out an ear bud to hear the taxi driver over the roar of the music, Just a month at the Ozark, and I can go home. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the sounds of whispers that bombarded her, drowning out everything else. She shook her head, focusing on the driver’s bleary eyes in the rear view mirror.
Smiling tightly, she gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Are you sure you’re in the right place?” He asked, his voice edged with concern.
Frowning, she looked down at the piece of paper clutched in her hands as the whispers faded in and out. “Are we at the Ozark Plantation?”
“Yeah, but this place…”
They became louder, screaming through her mind, drowning out whatever he was saying. Her breathing hitched as sweat beaded on her forehead. Why wouldn't they go away? She pinched the bridge of her nose, staving off the pounding that started to build in her head.
“Then it’s the right place.” She blurted, ending whatever he was still going on about. Shoving money his way, she jammed the ear bud back in, sighing as the music drowned out the voices. Slamming the door behind her, she grabbed her suitcase, pulling it as she made her way up the driveway. The battered wheels bounced along behind her, dragging through the dust in areas, making her pull forcefully to get it back on track. Almost there, she thought as she pushed her bangs out of her face. Blowing out a breath, she paused, looking at the mansion before her.
It was decrepid. A shiver ran through her body as a sick feeling began to burn in the pit of her stomach. She could tell it was once beautiful, but over the passing years it had fallen into ruin. Where once the marble pillars gleamed in the sunlight, they now were cracked, aged from a gleaming white to a dull grey. Its stately appeal seemed to whither, drooping like the hunched shoulders of a crone. She frowned as she looked over the once magnificent landscape, now overgrown with weeds and vines, seeming to swallow everything in its path. Shadows clung to the house, giving it a sense of evil, eternal darkness.
“It’s okay,” she whispered to herself as she gathered her courage, “it’s just a job. An easy one. No need to get freaked out. Just have to stick it out for a while, and you’ll be set. You need the money, Em. The shadows aren’t real. They can’t hurt you.” She almost rolled her eyes. She sounded like a mix between her therapist and her friend, Becky. With her chin up high, she grabbed the handle of her suitcase and marched forward, ignoring the sense of dread that seemed to multiply with each step she took. The mansion loomed before her, swallowing her in its shadows. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she stepped up onto the crumbling stairs. The skies darkened overhead, giving a chill to the air as raindrops started to fall steadily around her, almost to the beat of the music blasting in her ears. She quickened her pace, her suitcase thumping along behind her.
Large oak doors loomed before her, bending toward her as if to shelter her in their embrace. She shook her head, trying to dispel the images as the shadows danced toward her. A lump lodged in her throat, almost chocking her as the ever present fear raised its head. Her hand shook as she raised it, reaching for the bronze, aged handle.
She screamed as the door jerked open in front of her, tripping over her suitcase in her hasty retreat. A hand reached out from the shadows beyond the door, grabbing her arm as she started falling backwards. A scream tore from her throat again as she was jerked forward, falling into the arms of the shadow beyond the hand, embracing her within the darkness. Her heart beat fast and furious against her chest, lending pain to her panic. She shoved off, scrambling backwards, her ear buds falling out, making the whispers rush into her, through her.
“Are you okay?”
She blinked back fear soaked tears as she looked up. A man stood before her, his hands out in front of him in supplication. Her hand shook violently as she brushed the hair back from her face. Piercing blue eyes stared down at her, concern forming a frown between them.
“No, I’m not okay! You scared the shit out of me!” She gasped out between panicked breaths. She closed her eyes, trying to block out everything and still her racing heart.
“I’m sorry. I thought that you were one of the town’s kids. They like to come up here and mess with things.”
Blearily, she looked up at him. “Who are you? I was told no one else was supposed to be here.” He squatted down in front of her, his presence alone chasing back the shadows. Her muscles relaxed as they faded along with the whispers, bringing a clarity that not even the medications could provide. She looked up at him, really looked at him and her heart stopped. Blue wasn’t the right word for his eyes. They were a contrast of colors, going from an almost purple on the outer rim with aqua marine in the middle and flecks of gold near the irises. He was handsome, beyond handsome. Perfectly formed black eyebrows framed his startling eyes with lashes that women would kill for. A straight, aristocratic nose led down to almost full lips. He smirked, a dimple forming in his cheek that trapped her attention. She blew out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as he reached out a hand to help her up. Taking it, a warmth flushed through her system at the contact. A feeling of safety coated her raw nerves like a healing balm.
“I’m Anthony, and no one told me you were coming either.”
Her knees locked beneath her, making her steady as she extracted her hand from his, wiping it on her pants as if to get rid of the sensation his touch left.
“Well that makes two of us.”
“Obviously.”
She fidgeted, trying to look at anything else but at him. “So, are you here to be a caretaker too?”He looked confused for a moment, then grinned again. “Yeah, you could say that. Is that why you’re here?”
She nodded, wrapping up her ear buds to keep her nervous fidgeting under control. “Yeah. My friend Becky left me a message about this place. I needed a job, so I took her up on it as a favor to a friend of hers.”
“Well, welcome to the Ozark Manor…” He trailed off, raising a brow at her.
Blushing, she reached out and took his hand, shaking it. “Emily. Emily Brewer.” His stare penetrated her, making her want to fidget again. She felt like a bug under a microscope.“Emily Brewer. Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“Well, let’s get inside. No use standing out here in the storm.” He reached behind her and grabbed her suitcase, forgoing the handle as he tossed it over his shoulder. Without a backwards glance, he turned and headed inside, leaving her to follow.
The entryway echoed with the thud of their footsteps. She noticed the farther away he got from her, the more the shadows advanced. Swallowing hard, she quickened her steps, practically keeping herself glued to his back.
“This place is a mess, but it’s dry at least.” He told her over her shoulder. “I’ll show you the grand tour, if you’d like, then take you up to a room.”
Nausea stirred in her stomach the farther they walked in. Paling, she stopped behind him. “I’m not feeling very well. Do you think we could skip the tour? I’d really like to lay down.” He turned, looking her over.
“Sure. There’s a bedroom that’s clean on the second floor. I’ll show you the way.”
She nodded absently behind him, feeling sicker by the moment. A cold sweat racked out across her body as they ascended the stairs. Dust motes floated in the dim light, dancing before her eyes. She kept her eyes trained on Anthony’s broad back, continuously swallowing down the bile that kept rising in her throat.
Emily… Emily… Emily… She froze, blinking back confusion. She knew that voice.
Emily… here… I’m here…
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes jerked up, clashing with Anthony’s. “Fine. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” He said, stepping closer to her.
She swept her gaze down, refusing to look at him. “Really, I just don’t feel well.” She could feel his eyes on her, almost branding her as he looked her over.
“Okay. The room’s just ahead.” She nodded, her eyes darting back and forth across the hallway. It can’t be him, she thought to herself as tears filled her eyes. I’m finally losing it. He’s dead. He’s not here. Her heart sank in her chest at that thought, choking her as a sob built in her throat. Anthony opened a door and walked inside a room, dropping her suitcase down in the middle of the floor.
”You can use this room. It isn’t much, but it’s cleaner than all the rest. I just changed the bedding so you’re good there, at least.”
“Thanks.” She muttered as she walked around him, her mind still on the voice that haunted her, called to her.
“Hey, are you sure you’re alright?”
“Look, thanks for your concern, but I’m fine. Really. Now if you don’t mind?” She gestured wearily behind her to the door. She didn’t like being rude, but the silenced voices was unnerving her more than what their constant presence did. She felt off, knowing that something was wrong. The hair rose on the back of her neck as she felt his gaze on her.
“Yeah, okay. If you need me, I’ll be downstairs. Just follow this hallway to…”
“I remember how to get to the staircase.”
“Alright then. I’ll leave you to get settled in.” She listened carefully at the sound of his retreating footsteps, finally relaxing as the door shut softly behind him. She breathed out a sigh of relief, her shoulders slumping as the tension left her.
She dug through her bag as the whispers started to fade in and out, growing louder with each passing second. Grabbing her pill bottle, she swallowed two, coughing a little as they temporarily caught in her throat. She reached for her iPod, her hands pausing over it. If she blared the music to drown out the voices, then she wouldn’t be able to hear him.
“He’s not here, Em. He’s never coming back!” She berated herself, forcing her hand to move. Forgoing the music, she grabbed her phone and flopped down onto the large canopy bed. Weariness lined every inch of her body as she dialed Becky’s number.
“Hey, this is Becky! I’m not here right now…” She frowned. Becky always answered her phone. Hearing the beep, she paused, for a moment not knowing what to say.
“Hey Beck, it’s me, Em.” She rolled her eyes. Of course Becky would know it was her. “Anyways, I’m just calling to let you know I made it to Ozark. Thanks for telling me there was going to be someone else here, by the way. Anyways, call me back, okay?”
Hanging up, she turned on her side and stared into space, letting her memories wash through her, fighting in her mind with the ever present shadows. Yawning, she closed her eyes and let her mind drift.Darkness descended, coating the room in a swash of ebony. She stirred, feeling a draft flit across her hair, moving the strands around like a gentle caress. Goosebumps rose across her arms. She arched her neck as the phantom caress moved down, stroking the tender skin of her neck to dip below her collar bone. Hef breathing panted out in front of her, misting the air as her warm breath clashed with the cold.
She moaned softly as the caress played just above the swell of her breast, making her skin tighten. “Emily… Emily baby… do you know what I love most about you?” Her eyes fluttered open. That voice. She knew that voice. The caress eased its way up to her throat, the sensation soft like a butterfly’s wing.
She blinked, trying to see through the darkness. A mass eased closer to her, darker than the shadows. As she opened her mouth to scream, the butterfly caress changed to a fist colder than iron and twice as strong. It wrapped around her throat, choking her. Panicked, she clawed at it, her hands falling through the mass, touching nothing. She tore at her neck as the mass pushed her down.
“Do you know what I love most about you?” Tears burned her eyes, racing down her cheeks as she fought uselessly against it.
A putrid stench washed across her face as the mass paused inches before her. Bile rose in her throat, only to be blocked as she suffocated.
“I love how you let me die, baby. And I’ll love how sweet your tortured soul will taste.”
April 30, 2014
LIZZY FORD'S SURPRISE APRIL RELEASE!
I'm so excited to be a part of Lizzy's Surprise April Release! Not only is she an absolutely AMAZING author, but she's a truly wonderful person as well! SO, without further ado, I give you Lizzy's surprise release for April: "Semper Mine," a standalone novel in the new Sons of War series! Available from: Amazon, Amazon UK, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords.
Semper Mine
A freak accident landed both of the Khavalov twins under my command, just before a routine mission turned into a nightmare. I brought home one twin in a coffin and the other in a coma missing his leg. I did everything right – and still people died. I can’t forget that night or how many lives it changed, including mine. It’s natural for their sister, Katya, to blame me. I made one decision in the middle of a firefight, and it shattered her sheltered world. I’m the ice to her fire, and when we first meet, it’s not pretty. I don’t fear war or death, and I am definitely not going to let a beautiful woman with a quick temper and broken heart scare me off, either. I know she’s hurting, and I’m determined to make sure she’s okay. It’s the least I can do for the twins. I may have failed them that night, but I won’t fail her. What I’m not counting on: the feelings she ignites within me. About Lizzy
Lizzy Ford is the author of over thirty books written for young adult and adult paranormal romance readers, to include the internationally bestselling “Rhyn Trilogy,” “Witchling Series” and the “War of Gods” series. Considered a freak of nature by her peers for the ability to write and release a commercial quality novel in under a month, Lizzy has focused on keeping her readers happy by producing brilliant, gritty romances that remind people why true love is a trial worth enduring. Lizzy’s books can be found on every major ereader library, to include: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, Kobo, Sony and Smashwords. She lives in southern Arizona with her husband, three dogs and a cat.
Find Lizzy online!WebsiteFacebookTwitterInstagramGoogle+PinterestWattpadGoodreadsLinkedIn
April 24, 2014
A Letter to My Children
Dear Harley, Demetry, Jace and Lexia,
As I look at this screen, everything I want to say floods my mind. Drowning me in thoughts and memories of you as surely as the tears that fall without fail from my eyes. Its been almost a month since I've seen you. A month since I've heard your voices, heard your laughs, held you in my arms. A month since I've played with you, got mad at you for not listening. A month since I was able to tell you that I love you.
Everyday, other parents take for granted those moments. They get mad when they're busy and their children come up to them, interrupting them to tell them something they find funny. They take for granted the growing pains of raising a little person. They get frustrated when their kids act up. When they throw fits. Scream and yell and demand to get their way. I was one of those parents. I got mad at you, Demetry, when you decided to make 'pancakes' on the living room carpet at 3am when everyone was asleep. I got mad at you, Harley, for waking your baby brother and sister up at 5am because you wanted to play. But, ever since October 2013 when our family fell apart and I was left with no choice but to give you to your dad because I couldn't take you to become homeless with me, I would give anything in the world to have those moments back again. To be able to be mad and upset with you for all the silly, irresponsible things that you guys do that drive me insane. I would take you guys at your worst for every day of my life than to feel this overwhelming pain that not having you, not being able to see you or hear your voices brings me.
I hope, one day, that you'll be able to realize that the decision I made wasn't easy. Giving you guys up was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. But I need you to be safe. You guys needed a home and security, and as much as it pains me, I'm not able to give it to you yet.
But, I made you all a promise, and I always keep my promises. I promised you as you all were crying, as you, Harley, were screaming for me to keep you, that I'd be able to bring you home one day. That, some day, I'd be able to get a house where we all could live. Our own magic kingdom just like the ones we talked about every night before you fell asleep. And I will do that. I don't care how long it takes, I will keep my promise. Even when that day comes, and you all are older and don't understand yet everything that happened and hate me for it, I will still offer you a home. You may not accept it. You may not want to be with me anymore by then, and that's okay, because your happiness means more to me than anything else in the world.
So, even if you do end up hating me, I hope you never forget that I love you. That there's not a moment in a day that goes by where I don't think of you, and want more than anything to have you home with me. You guys are my world, are everything that has ever been important to me.
Until I can see you again, I wish for you to be happy.
I love you, forever and always.
Mommy
As I look at this screen, everything I want to say floods my mind. Drowning me in thoughts and memories of you as surely as the tears that fall without fail from my eyes. Its been almost a month since I've seen you. A month since I've heard your voices, heard your laughs, held you in my arms. A month since I've played with you, got mad at you for not listening. A month since I was able to tell you that I love you.
Everyday, other parents take for granted those moments. They get mad when they're busy and their children come up to them, interrupting them to tell them something they find funny. They take for granted the growing pains of raising a little person. They get frustrated when their kids act up. When they throw fits. Scream and yell and demand to get their way. I was one of those parents. I got mad at you, Demetry, when you decided to make 'pancakes' on the living room carpet at 3am when everyone was asleep. I got mad at you, Harley, for waking your baby brother and sister up at 5am because you wanted to play. But, ever since October 2013 when our family fell apart and I was left with no choice but to give you to your dad because I couldn't take you to become homeless with me, I would give anything in the world to have those moments back again. To be able to be mad and upset with you for all the silly, irresponsible things that you guys do that drive me insane. I would take you guys at your worst for every day of my life than to feel this overwhelming pain that not having you, not being able to see you or hear your voices brings me.
I hope, one day, that you'll be able to realize that the decision I made wasn't easy. Giving you guys up was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. But I need you to be safe. You guys needed a home and security, and as much as it pains me, I'm not able to give it to you yet.
But, I made you all a promise, and I always keep my promises. I promised you as you all were crying, as you, Harley, were screaming for me to keep you, that I'd be able to bring you home one day. That, some day, I'd be able to get a house where we all could live. Our own magic kingdom just like the ones we talked about every night before you fell asleep. And I will do that. I don't care how long it takes, I will keep my promise. Even when that day comes, and you all are older and don't understand yet everything that happened and hate me for it, I will still offer you a home. You may not accept it. You may not want to be with me anymore by then, and that's okay, because your happiness means more to me than anything else in the world.
So, even if you do end up hating me, I hope you never forget that I love you. That there's not a moment in a day that goes by where I don't think of you, and want more than anything to have you home with me. You guys are my world, are everything that has ever been important to me.
Until I can see you again, I wish for you to be happy.
I love you, forever and always.
Mommy
March 24, 2014
And The Walls Come Tumbling Down
It's been over 7 months since my last post. You'd think that things would have gotten better, that everything would have worked out, and my family and I would have stayed together. Life isn't that easy, or kind. I've, for the most part, stayed silent about everything that's happened. I've stayed silent about how my world, my life, was destroyed. About how hard I've been fighting. But I don't want to do that anymore.
First Comes Pain
We ended up not finding another place to go after our eviction. Still, I had hope that we would make it. That, somehow, we'd still remain a family. I should have known better, because the lessons life has taught me since I was young prove that you can't always have what you want, no matter how much you want it. I didn't know that Jeremy thought that I didn't love him anymore. That with how much time I had spent writing was hurting him. I thought that he was supportive, that he understood and stood beside me. I didn't see the jealousy that he carried over my books. Didn't see how much I hurt him, and I'm sorry for that.
Then Comes Betrayal
After the eviction, I took the kids down to Florida with me to stay with my dad. I didn't have anywhere else to go, and didn't know what else to do. The kids and I were waiting for him to come down. He had a court appointment, so had to stay behind, but said he'd be down right after. He never showed. For reasons that I won't get into on here, my father kicked the children and I out, leaving us no other choice but to come back up to Indiana. To Jeremy. He was living with his parents, and since I wasn't allowed there, he put me up in a motel room for two days. On Monday, while his parents were at work, I came over to see him and the kids. That's when I found out that he was never going to come down. That he thought I didn't love him anymore, and instead of talking to me, asking me if I did or not, he decided that he would find someone else who would love him. And it wasn't me.
Then Comes Destruction
I became homeless and living out of my van. In that one moment, my world was destroyed. My life, my hope, who I had been for years, was just suddenly gone. In that one moment, I lost someone I had loved and given up everything for for eight years. In that one moment, I had lost my children. In that one moment, I had lost my will to live anymore. To this day I don't know why I kept fighting. What it was that was in me that didn't allow me to give up. I'm manic depressive, and had spent the majority of my teenage years in and out of psych wards for suicide, so you'd think that I'd be a pro at giving up. At giving in. But for some reason, I just couldn't.
I didn't have any money, had been a stay at home mom for years with only a handful of jobs thrown in here and there when needed. But luckily, the crew at McDonald's didn't care about that. They hired me, and because of that I got to eat whenever I was working, so I didn't starve. I had a little bit of money to where I could somewhat help support my kids, even if I didn't get to see them.
Still to this day, six months later, I rarely get to see them. There will be promises where I can go down and see them, meet him somewhere, or that he'll bring them up to me, but things are constantly getting in the way. You need to understand that I'm not placing the blame fully on him. I know what I have done wrong, and what I could have done better. I know that I, in part, am to blame too. But with everything that's happened, with my life basically being wiped clean, maybe I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Then Comes Hope
I have to believe that things happened for a reason. That there's a silver lining to this dark cloud. To this never ending pain and torment. With everything in my life gone, wiped clean, I now have the opportunity to start again. To fully start again and make my life what I want it to be. Maybe I'm just too much of an optimist, forever seeing the reason behind pain that have no real reason at all, but I have to have hope. That's the only thing that I have left.
So I shall hope, and I shall bust my ass working towards that hope. It may not be this year, or even next year, but I will become the princess who can save herself. I will create my own safety net. One that no one has the power or ability to take away because it was of my own creation. I will be the type of woman that my children can look up to and be proud of, and I will do whatever it takes to get them back.
I didn't write this post to get pity. I didn't write it for empathy or to cast my woe's out unto the world. I wrote it, to let you, the readers know. I wrote it, to show you that I haven't lost my voice. That I'm okay. At the end of the day, I will always be okay, and if I'm not, then I will be eventually.
For now, I'm staying at my co-workers house. Chris is an extraordinary woman. She's 54 years old, and has taken me under my wing. In a time when I needed it most, she appeared, and I'm eternally grateful for that. I'm busting ass at a minimum wage job, and constantly on the look out for a better one. Lets face it, no one can make it on minimum wage. Hopefully sometime soon I'll get a better job, but for now, this will do.
My Voice Remains
Don't fear that I've quit writing. I may have stopped for awhile when I couldn't find it in me to write because of everything that was going on, but I was quick to get back on the wagon. There will be more books released this year, including the re-vamped version of The Prophecy (I've added another 50k words to it.... whoops), the second installment of the Divinity Stone Series, Bud's Diner #2, and a number of other projects very near and dear to me that I will announce at a later date. My words still remain my voice, and will always remain my voice. I can't wait to share my voice with you, and hopefully share some good news with you soon.
I shall try to pick back up blogging, whether to dish out book news, some odd and end reviews, or just ramble on about the madness that is my life, and my mind. I can't promise that it will be like clockwork, but I can promise that I am thankful for each and every one of you, and that there's nothing in this life or the next that I can do to show you how much you all mean to me.
Take care of yourself, and each other.
Until next time, Happy Reading.
First Comes Pain
We ended up not finding another place to go after our eviction. Still, I had hope that we would make it. That, somehow, we'd still remain a family. I should have known better, because the lessons life has taught me since I was young prove that you can't always have what you want, no matter how much you want it. I didn't know that Jeremy thought that I didn't love him anymore. That with how much time I had spent writing was hurting him. I thought that he was supportive, that he understood and stood beside me. I didn't see the jealousy that he carried over my books. Didn't see how much I hurt him, and I'm sorry for that.
Then Comes Betrayal
After the eviction, I took the kids down to Florida with me to stay with my dad. I didn't have anywhere else to go, and didn't know what else to do. The kids and I were waiting for him to come down. He had a court appointment, so had to stay behind, but said he'd be down right after. He never showed. For reasons that I won't get into on here, my father kicked the children and I out, leaving us no other choice but to come back up to Indiana. To Jeremy. He was living with his parents, and since I wasn't allowed there, he put me up in a motel room for two days. On Monday, while his parents were at work, I came over to see him and the kids. That's when I found out that he was never going to come down. That he thought I didn't love him anymore, and instead of talking to me, asking me if I did or not, he decided that he would find someone else who would love him. And it wasn't me.
Then Comes Destruction
I became homeless and living out of my van. In that one moment, my world was destroyed. My life, my hope, who I had been for years, was just suddenly gone. In that one moment, I lost someone I had loved and given up everything for for eight years. In that one moment, I had lost my children. In that one moment, I had lost my will to live anymore. To this day I don't know why I kept fighting. What it was that was in me that didn't allow me to give up. I'm manic depressive, and had spent the majority of my teenage years in and out of psych wards for suicide, so you'd think that I'd be a pro at giving up. At giving in. But for some reason, I just couldn't.
I didn't have any money, had been a stay at home mom for years with only a handful of jobs thrown in here and there when needed. But luckily, the crew at McDonald's didn't care about that. They hired me, and because of that I got to eat whenever I was working, so I didn't starve. I had a little bit of money to where I could somewhat help support my kids, even if I didn't get to see them.
Still to this day, six months later, I rarely get to see them. There will be promises where I can go down and see them, meet him somewhere, or that he'll bring them up to me, but things are constantly getting in the way. You need to understand that I'm not placing the blame fully on him. I know what I have done wrong, and what I could have done better. I know that I, in part, am to blame too. But with everything that's happened, with my life basically being wiped clean, maybe I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Then Comes Hope
I have to believe that things happened for a reason. That there's a silver lining to this dark cloud. To this never ending pain and torment. With everything in my life gone, wiped clean, I now have the opportunity to start again. To fully start again and make my life what I want it to be. Maybe I'm just too much of an optimist, forever seeing the reason behind pain that have no real reason at all, but I have to have hope. That's the only thing that I have left.
So I shall hope, and I shall bust my ass working towards that hope. It may not be this year, or even next year, but I will become the princess who can save herself. I will create my own safety net. One that no one has the power or ability to take away because it was of my own creation. I will be the type of woman that my children can look up to and be proud of, and I will do whatever it takes to get them back.
I didn't write this post to get pity. I didn't write it for empathy or to cast my woe's out unto the world. I wrote it, to let you, the readers know. I wrote it, to show you that I haven't lost my voice. That I'm okay. At the end of the day, I will always be okay, and if I'm not, then I will be eventually.
For now, I'm staying at my co-workers house. Chris is an extraordinary woman. She's 54 years old, and has taken me under my wing. In a time when I needed it most, she appeared, and I'm eternally grateful for that. I'm busting ass at a minimum wage job, and constantly on the look out for a better one. Lets face it, no one can make it on minimum wage. Hopefully sometime soon I'll get a better job, but for now, this will do.
My Voice Remains
Don't fear that I've quit writing. I may have stopped for awhile when I couldn't find it in me to write because of everything that was going on, but I was quick to get back on the wagon. There will be more books released this year, including the re-vamped version of The Prophecy (I've added another 50k words to it.... whoops), the second installment of the Divinity Stone Series, Bud's Diner #2, and a number of other projects very near and dear to me that I will announce at a later date. My words still remain my voice, and will always remain my voice. I can't wait to share my voice with you, and hopefully share some good news with you soon.
I shall try to pick back up blogging, whether to dish out book news, some odd and end reviews, or just ramble on about the madness that is my life, and my mind. I can't promise that it will be like clockwork, but I can promise that I am thankful for each and every one of you, and that there's nothing in this life or the next that I can do to show you how much you all mean to me.
Take care of yourself, and each other.
Until next time, Happy Reading.
August 1, 2013
A Look Behind The Pages
Everyone has problems. I know that. I understand that concept. But what irritates me isn't the fact that people bemoan their issues, but rather that they never think about how good they actually have it.
In today's society, everybody wants more. Bigger is better. You want more money. A better job where you get more for less. A better car. A bigger house. You want to go on vacation, get the latest iPhone or a new big screen T.V. And everywhere I look, people are saying FML because they don't get exactly what they want, regardless of the fact that they have everything they NEED. And when you overlook that fact, always trying to get to the next level of material wealth, you miss out on the simple joys of life. So, I'm going to break down for you the exact situation my family and I are in. Maybe you can learn from it and look at your own life and see how good you actually have it.
We moved into this townhouse 3 days after I had my youngest son Jace (we have 4 children now). He'll be two this October. This townhouse was better than our prior residence, and because we had to move in a hurry, Jeremy had to take out a loan against his truck just so we could afford the deposit. Things haven't been easy here. With rent increases, job loss, having to pay for repairs instead of the landlord paying them, etc, we've found ourselves struggling more than anything. But, we always made it. We've always paid the necessary bills after the children had all their necessities. We saved up just to buy them birthday and Christmas presents. They were never anything big or expensive, they were only what we could afford, and regardless the kids were happy, so we were happy.
Regardless of how much we had to budget, when we could pay the bills and when we couldn't, things have always worked out. We've never been on vacation because we couldn't afford it. We haven't gotten the newest phone, the biggest TV or anything material wise that people so covet. Why? Because taking care of our children has always been the most important thing. Why would we need a new iPhone? Sure, it would be nice to have one, but it's not a necessity. We learned to live without. We had a safe home for the children, even if it was a struggle. Or so we thought.
A week ago, I got a text from my landlord saying that he couldn't do our payments anymore. We had it set up to where every week we would pay a fourth of our rent. Why was it set up that way? Because we couldn't afford the entire 640 at one time. Regardless, he was getting his money in its entirety. We were even doing it a month in advance, so its not like he was losing anything. But, he's one of those people that want what he wants, regardless of whom it screws over. Don't get me wrong, he's been somewhat decent, but the bottom line will always be the bottom line. So, we had to start looking for other places to live.
Now, when you have four children, it's relatively difficult to find an apartment or house to live in whenever you need at least 3 bedrooms and have a set price range that you can't go above, because you can't afford it. Now, affording something to me is probably a lot different than it is to others. Affording something to me is where you can't afford it if it will cut into your kids food supply. You can't afford it if you can't buy diapers. Basically, we can't afford anything but the bare necessities.
I had to ask my father to wire us the money for a deposit on a new place. We had the application in, it was processing, the man who owned it wanted to rent it out to us right away, but the wife was more picky. Hell, she was downright anal about every single detail. But still, we were hopeful. It was bigger than where we're living, had more room for the kids to play. True, there were no washer and dryer hook ups, but I could deal with that. I wouldn't of had a problem with going to the laundry mat once a week to do a few loads. I would have brought my notebook with me and worked while waiting. That aspect didn't affect me at all, because I knew it would be a better place for the children. Safer. I could make due with what I had to, even if it was begrudgingly.
Two days ago, we received a letter in the mail from the finance company we went through two years ago. They're taking us to court on the 3rd, and froze our bank account. What I mean by froze our bank account is we don't have access to ANY of the money in there. They also are demanding that all the money that is in there, which happens to be the money that was wired for a new place for us to live, be forfeited over to them. We can't buy milk, food, or diapers for the children, because we don't have access to the money. We can't give anyone a deposit for a new place, because we don't have access to the money. Pretty soon, we won't even have any money in the account at all because they are going to take all of it. Some of you may be thinking that that's bullshit. That they don't have the right to do that. Legally, they do, and they did.
So all this was running through our minds. Trying to think of what we could sell to get the money for a deposit, what we could possibly do to make this situation better. We were beyond stressed. But instead of bemoaning our situation, do you know what we did? We put on Disney music, and danced around our living room with our children, singing at the top of our lungs (Jeremy did it off-key, mind you.). But they laughed, and they begged for more. One more dance, one more song. So we danced and sang into the night. Taking joy and delight in our children's laughter, and regardless of how bad our situation was, we went to bed with smiles on our faces. They were happy, and that's all that mattered.
Then yesterday, I opened the door in the morning to find another court order taped to it. This time, it was from our landlord. He's suing for immediate eviction, which means that after all of our assets are revoked on Saturday during court with the finance company, on Monday we will be given the legal amount of ten days to vacate our current residence. Ten. Days. Ten days to come up with the money for a deposit. Ten days to find a place within our price range. Ten days in which to be accepted into a place that's within our price range. The harsh reality of it is, we can't do it. You can look it up yourself. We live in Jasper, Indiana. Jeremy works in Ireland, Indiana. Go ahead and search for a place that has at least 3 bedrooms and is no more than 600 a month. There isn't any. The only hope we have right now is a house in Ferdinand that won't be available until the 18th (if we can even get into it).
This means, that we legally have to be out of here by midnight on the 15th. We will be living in a motel until we can find a place to live. Hopefully it will be that house, which would mean only 3 days in a motel. Otherwise, I don't know when it will get better. I don't know when we'll be able to actually have a home. I don't know what will happen and I honestly am losing hope. I'm scared and feeling an overwhelming sense of loss. The only thing I ever wanted was to be able to provide a stable home for our children. Somewhere they can feel safe and have roots. No matter how had we have worked, how much we have sacrificed, dealt with, and given up on, we have failed miserably.
Life isn't fair. It's hard. You'll find that the good people in this world suffer the most. Happiness isn't easy to find, but it is easy to lose. But still, we will dance. We will keep our children happy. We will make this an adventure. Regardless of how low our life is right now, of how we don't know what will be coming next on the horizon, we will dance. We will sing, and we will celebrate in the sound of our children's laughter and we will love them with every aspect of our beings.
So the next time you're stressed. The next time you don't get your way and think your life is hell: Just dance.
In today's society, everybody wants more. Bigger is better. You want more money. A better job where you get more for less. A better car. A bigger house. You want to go on vacation, get the latest iPhone or a new big screen T.V. And everywhere I look, people are saying FML because they don't get exactly what they want, regardless of the fact that they have everything they NEED. And when you overlook that fact, always trying to get to the next level of material wealth, you miss out on the simple joys of life. So, I'm going to break down for you the exact situation my family and I are in. Maybe you can learn from it and look at your own life and see how good you actually have it.
We moved into this townhouse 3 days after I had my youngest son Jace (we have 4 children now). He'll be two this October. This townhouse was better than our prior residence, and because we had to move in a hurry, Jeremy had to take out a loan against his truck just so we could afford the deposit. Things haven't been easy here. With rent increases, job loss, having to pay for repairs instead of the landlord paying them, etc, we've found ourselves struggling more than anything. But, we always made it. We've always paid the necessary bills after the children had all their necessities. We saved up just to buy them birthday and Christmas presents. They were never anything big or expensive, they were only what we could afford, and regardless the kids were happy, so we were happy.
Regardless of how much we had to budget, when we could pay the bills and when we couldn't, things have always worked out. We've never been on vacation because we couldn't afford it. We haven't gotten the newest phone, the biggest TV or anything material wise that people so covet. Why? Because taking care of our children has always been the most important thing. Why would we need a new iPhone? Sure, it would be nice to have one, but it's not a necessity. We learned to live without. We had a safe home for the children, even if it was a struggle. Or so we thought.
A week ago, I got a text from my landlord saying that he couldn't do our payments anymore. We had it set up to where every week we would pay a fourth of our rent. Why was it set up that way? Because we couldn't afford the entire 640 at one time. Regardless, he was getting his money in its entirety. We were even doing it a month in advance, so its not like he was losing anything. But, he's one of those people that want what he wants, regardless of whom it screws over. Don't get me wrong, he's been somewhat decent, but the bottom line will always be the bottom line. So, we had to start looking for other places to live.
Now, when you have four children, it's relatively difficult to find an apartment or house to live in whenever you need at least 3 bedrooms and have a set price range that you can't go above, because you can't afford it. Now, affording something to me is probably a lot different than it is to others. Affording something to me is where you can't afford it if it will cut into your kids food supply. You can't afford it if you can't buy diapers. Basically, we can't afford anything but the bare necessities.
I had to ask my father to wire us the money for a deposit on a new place. We had the application in, it was processing, the man who owned it wanted to rent it out to us right away, but the wife was more picky. Hell, she was downright anal about every single detail. But still, we were hopeful. It was bigger than where we're living, had more room for the kids to play. True, there were no washer and dryer hook ups, but I could deal with that. I wouldn't of had a problem with going to the laundry mat once a week to do a few loads. I would have brought my notebook with me and worked while waiting. That aspect didn't affect me at all, because I knew it would be a better place for the children. Safer. I could make due with what I had to, even if it was begrudgingly.
Two days ago, we received a letter in the mail from the finance company we went through two years ago. They're taking us to court on the 3rd, and froze our bank account. What I mean by froze our bank account is we don't have access to ANY of the money in there. They also are demanding that all the money that is in there, which happens to be the money that was wired for a new place for us to live, be forfeited over to them. We can't buy milk, food, or diapers for the children, because we don't have access to the money. We can't give anyone a deposit for a new place, because we don't have access to the money. Pretty soon, we won't even have any money in the account at all because they are going to take all of it. Some of you may be thinking that that's bullshit. That they don't have the right to do that. Legally, they do, and they did.
So all this was running through our minds. Trying to think of what we could sell to get the money for a deposit, what we could possibly do to make this situation better. We were beyond stressed. But instead of bemoaning our situation, do you know what we did? We put on Disney music, and danced around our living room with our children, singing at the top of our lungs (Jeremy did it off-key, mind you.). But they laughed, and they begged for more. One more dance, one more song. So we danced and sang into the night. Taking joy and delight in our children's laughter, and regardless of how bad our situation was, we went to bed with smiles on our faces. They were happy, and that's all that mattered.
Then yesterday, I opened the door in the morning to find another court order taped to it. This time, it was from our landlord. He's suing for immediate eviction, which means that after all of our assets are revoked on Saturday during court with the finance company, on Monday we will be given the legal amount of ten days to vacate our current residence. Ten. Days. Ten days to come up with the money for a deposit. Ten days to find a place within our price range. Ten days in which to be accepted into a place that's within our price range. The harsh reality of it is, we can't do it. You can look it up yourself. We live in Jasper, Indiana. Jeremy works in Ireland, Indiana. Go ahead and search for a place that has at least 3 bedrooms and is no more than 600 a month. There isn't any. The only hope we have right now is a house in Ferdinand that won't be available until the 18th (if we can even get into it).
This means, that we legally have to be out of here by midnight on the 15th. We will be living in a motel until we can find a place to live. Hopefully it will be that house, which would mean only 3 days in a motel. Otherwise, I don't know when it will get better. I don't know when we'll be able to actually have a home. I don't know what will happen and I honestly am losing hope. I'm scared and feeling an overwhelming sense of loss. The only thing I ever wanted was to be able to provide a stable home for our children. Somewhere they can feel safe and have roots. No matter how had we have worked, how much we have sacrificed, dealt with, and given up on, we have failed miserably.
Life isn't fair. It's hard. You'll find that the good people in this world suffer the most. Happiness isn't easy to find, but it is easy to lose. But still, we will dance. We will keep our children happy. We will make this an adventure. Regardless of how low our life is right now, of how we don't know what will be coming next on the horizon, we will dance. We will sing, and we will celebrate in the sound of our children's laughter and we will love them with every aspect of our beings.
So the next time you're stressed. The next time you don't get your way and think your life is hell: Just dance.
July 2, 2013
BLOG HOP AND GIVEAWAY!
Hey everyone!I'm Desiree DeOrto, Author of The Prophecy: Divinity Stone Series 1.I've never participated in one of these before, so please bare that in mind, along with the fact that I'm slightly insane :)
Up for grabs on this blog hop giveaway is FIVE ecopies of The Prophecy!
(pretty, eh?)
Follow the rafflecopter to enter!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Here's the linky for the rest of the Blog Hop!
Powered by Linky ToolsClick here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list...
Up for grabs on this blog hop giveaway is FIVE ecopies of The Prophecy!
(pretty, eh?)Follow the rafflecopter to enter!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Here's the linky for the rest of the Blog Hop!
Powered by Linky ToolsClick here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list...
June 23, 2013
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
I was born on June 24th, 1987.Today (it's midnight my time) is my 26th birthday.
I have very mixed feelings about this birthday. One, is because it will be four years until I'm 30
And another reason is because of how much things have changed.Don't get me wrong, I haven't changed much over the years.I've always been a nerd, rarely, if ever, got into troubleand still am the crazy person that I was 10 years ago.
BUTthere are some aspects that have definitely changed.My oldest daughter is turning five on Wednesday*sobs* she's getting so big!Although I am/have been a mother for the past 5 years, that's not what I'm focusing on today.Today is about personal growth.
When I look back on my life, I see all the missed opportunities,failures, achievements, happy moments,and moments of complete despair.Everything that I went through has led me to THIS moment, THIS point in time.Are things perfect?Far from it. But I am loving every minute of it(even when I do get depressed and need a giant kick in the a**)
Luckily, I have a group of awesome friends that have yanked me off my unicorn and beat me whenever I need it. (They love doing it too, don't let them fool you)
But before my sleep deprived brain gets anymore rambly,I just wanted to take this time and say:THANK YOU!
Thank you to everyone that has ever put me down, made me sad, or made my life hell.I have grown stronger because of you.Thank you to everyone who ever said that I would never do anything with my life.That I would be nothing but useless.Because of my anger towards you, and the feeling that no matter how stupidor useless you thought/think I am that I KNEW that I wasn't and had something to prove,I am now a published author.WHICH I WILL HAPPILY RUB IN YOUR FACE!
(yeah, that's me bitches!)
And also, a very heart felt THANK YOUto those few who have always stuck by my side,who believed in me when I had nothing left to believe in.You guys are as much a part of my success as I am, if not more so.I wouldn't be alive (literally) if it wasn't for you.I love you guys.
So, to end this rather disjointed blog I have to say only one thing:I'm living proof that you can take any situation, any childhood (if you know me, then you know that mine was far from happy) and overcome it.
Whether you believe in yourself or not, you have the ability to become everything that you want, because you are capable.You are priceless.And the only way you will become what others tell you that you are is if you give up,and give into their negativity.Never do that, because you are so much more than what they want you to be!
Hope you guys have a great day,and a very merry un-birthday to you!
I have very mixed feelings about this birthday. One, is because it will be four years until I'm 30
And another reason is because of how much things have changed.Don't get me wrong, I haven't changed much over the years.I've always been a nerd, rarely, if ever, got into troubleand still am the crazy person that I was 10 years ago.
BUTthere are some aspects that have definitely changed.My oldest daughter is turning five on Wednesday*sobs* she's getting so big!Although I am/have been a mother for the past 5 years, that's not what I'm focusing on today.Today is about personal growth.
When I look back on my life, I see all the missed opportunities,failures, achievements, happy moments,and moments of complete despair.Everything that I went through has led me to THIS moment, THIS point in time.Are things perfect?Far from it. But I am loving every minute of it(even when I do get depressed and need a giant kick in the a**)
Luckily, I have a group of awesome friends that have yanked me off my unicorn and beat me whenever I need it. (They love doing it too, don't let them fool you)
But before my sleep deprived brain gets anymore rambly,I just wanted to take this time and say:THANK YOU!
Thank you to everyone that has ever put me down, made me sad, or made my life hell.I have grown stronger because of you.Thank you to everyone who ever said that I would never do anything with my life.That I would be nothing but useless.Because of my anger towards you, and the feeling that no matter how stupidor useless you thought/think I am that I KNEW that I wasn't and had something to prove,I am now a published author.WHICH I WILL HAPPILY RUB IN YOUR FACE!
(yeah, that's me bitches!)And also, a very heart felt THANK YOUto those few who have always stuck by my side,who believed in me when I had nothing left to believe in.You guys are as much a part of my success as I am, if not more so.I wouldn't be alive (literally) if it wasn't for you.I love you guys.
So, to end this rather disjointed blog I have to say only one thing:I'm living proof that you can take any situation, any childhood (if you know me, then you know that mine was far from happy) and overcome it.
Whether you believe in yourself or not, you have the ability to become everything that you want, because you are capable.You are priceless.And the only way you will become what others tell you that you are is if you give up,and give into their negativity.Never do that, because you are so much more than what they want you to be!
Hope you guys have a great day,and a very merry un-birthday to you!
June 17, 2013
I'm Insane Like That
Okay, so as many of you have already guessed, I am highly impulsive.I'm one of those"I have to wait? Why? It's right here in front of me! Pfft, don't give me that promo crap,we're doing it NOW!!'Type of person.
(is it just me, or does she look highly insane? I LOVE IT)
So, this is what happened on the 15th!
I poured myself a cup of coffee, and went to check my email:
and BAM! All formats were just sitting there in my inbox, taunting me!
And I was like:
I can freakingHIT PUBLISH!!!
Some of my friends were all like:
'You have a blog tour going to start, remember? You should wait for more promo!'
And some of them were like:
so I sat there, with my fingers itching.I looked at both aspects, and decided to tell my friends
SO I PUBLISHED EARLY!!!!*throws confetti*
So here I am, feeling all of the above, then finally draining out and being all like:
Then I quickly turn to
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But the bottom line is thatIT'S HERE!!!
So what are you waiting for?
CLICK HERE MY MINIONS
(is it just me, or does she look highly insane? I LOVE IT)So, this is what happened on the 15th!
I poured myself a cup of coffee, and went to check my email:
and BAM! All formats were just sitting there in my inbox, taunting me!
And I was like:
I can freakingHIT PUBLISH!!!
Some of my friends were all like:
'You have a blog tour going to start, remember? You should wait for more promo!'
And some of them were like:
so I sat there, with my fingers itching.I looked at both aspects, and decided to tell my friends
SO I PUBLISHED EARLY!!!!*throws confetti*
So here I am, feeling all of the above, then finally draining out and being all like:
Then I quickly turn to
[image error]
But the bottom line is thatIT'S HERE!!!
So what are you waiting for?
CLICK HERE MY MINIONS
June 9, 2013
And The 5 STARS Start Rolling In
I'm bored, so I figured I'd blog.Some of you may be asking yourselves"How in the hell can she be bored? Isn't she supposed to be writing?"In which case I will reply"Yes, yes I am. But I am FREAKING OUT!"
Now, why am I freaking out?Simple.So far EVERYONE freaking loves The Prophecy.Now, I know. That's absolutely awesome and a hell of a lot better than what I was expecting.Lets be honest, I'm still waiting for that horrible review that will make me want to cry.BUT the fact that there is 100% worth of 5 STAR reviews so far leaves me with this:They love the first book SO freaking much,WHAT HAPPENS IF THE SECOND ISN'T UP TO PAR? Lets face it. I could slip.My writing genius could take a steady decline into the sub-par or,Goddess help me,truly awful dribble. So I'm faced with 'what-if's'.WHAT IFthe second book sucks some massive a**?WHAT IFeveryone is disappointed?WHAT IFI go from all 5 STARS down to all 1 STAR reviews?WHAT IFthe sky turns to ash and my nose falls off? I know, a lot of paranoia without even a HINT that any of that could happen,but the fact still remains that it is ALL a possibility. So I guess I better just buck up and get to writing, eh?If I let all the thoughts consume me, I'll actually have disappointed people becauseI wont have ANYTHING written.O.OThat would not be good. Cue the angry mob.
So I guess I'll just shove all that paranoia to the sideand get back to work.We'll see how it all falls together in the end ;) Until next time, Happy Reading ^.^
Now, why am I freaking out?Simple.So far EVERYONE freaking loves The Prophecy.Now, I know. That's absolutely awesome and a hell of a lot better than what I was expecting.Lets be honest, I'm still waiting for that horrible review that will make me want to cry.BUT the fact that there is 100% worth of 5 STAR reviews so far leaves me with this:They love the first book SO freaking much,WHAT HAPPENS IF THE SECOND ISN'T UP TO PAR? Lets face it. I could slip.My writing genius could take a steady decline into the sub-par or,Goddess help me,truly awful dribble. So I'm faced with 'what-if's'.WHAT IFthe second book sucks some massive a**?WHAT IFeveryone is disappointed?WHAT IFI go from all 5 STARS down to all 1 STAR reviews?WHAT IFthe sky turns to ash and my nose falls off? I know, a lot of paranoia without even a HINT that any of that could happen,but the fact still remains that it is ALL a possibility. So I guess I better just buck up and get to writing, eh?If I let all the thoughts consume me, I'll actually have disappointed people becauseI wont have ANYTHING written.O.OThat would not be good. Cue the angry mob.
So I guess I'll just shove all that paranoia to the sideand get back to work.We'll see how it all falls together in the end ;) Until next time, Happy Reading ^.^
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