Shellie Palmer's Blog, page 4

No Such Thing As Fashion Crime

Most girls and women have a wide variety,range of ideas of what they like to wear. They wear what's comfortable maybe it's fancy or girlie or like the athletic look. Everyone likes what they like and wear what they want to wear. There is no crime in it. We all want to feel pretty dressed up or dressed down. As little girls we all dressed up wanting to look like a celebrity or maybe it was our mothers. That is where our inspiration came from. As we grew up though we wanted to explore more in fashion. Fashion evolves, it sucks us in with vibrant colors, lace, ruffles, fringe, feathers, design and flare. It is endless to say the least. I once thought of getting into the fashion world as a teenager as I explored a variety of industrial programs from art, theater, music and film.It dawned on me how fashion intertwines with every bit of every day life whether it was in those fields or not. Now I see fashion as a go to how we can inspire others through our own eyes. It's much more than seeing a female actress, singer, or entertainer on a magazine cover all dolled up. The every day woman and girl have dreams and aspirations of being lawyers, dancers, doctors, nurses, flight attendants, whatever it may be. It is how and what they are wearing that makes them feel pretty and confident. That is inspiring. I can honestly say I wasn't always this confident in what I wore. Some of the clothes I wore as a kid I wouldn't today. To be completely honest I was the most awkward kid who stuck out because I wore glasses and didn't have the figure most girls had. It took me years to accept who I am and what I wore. I was picked and teased on for my looks, it made me feel insecure as a teenager. That is a lot of peer pressure on a girl who's trying to find her way in life. From going through adolescences to adulthood is tough. It's not always about fashion either it's how we represent ourselves as women. Clothes do make up a part of it though. It's how you feel in what you wear. That is what I learned about fashion and how I want you to feel. Feeling pretty is confident when you are wearing a piece of clothing that is comfortable, something that isn't comfortable that confidence goes into hiding. So, there's no crime in fashion what so ever. It all comes down to our personalities, how you feel in what you wear. Represent yourself for who you are not what a magazine is trying to sell you. Clothes make the person not the other way around. Accepting yourself first is what matters once you find your comfort level all else falls right into place.

Too Much To Handle

Obviously social media has brain washed young girls even women to conform to a certain look that is not so natural. What is natural though? So many definitions and difference of opinions this day in age, or at least to millennials who only see one side and that is glamour and plenty of face time via cover of magazines, Youtube, endless selfies or just wanting that piece of instant fame to catch the eye of others on social media networking. Where is the realness? Where is the young girl, young adult woman who wants to be seen and heard? It's not there. It's hidden beneath the surface waiting to bust out of her shell and it's not online. I see it every day and so much more when I glance at photos of you out there wanting and seeking that attention. Yes, you! reading this and don't know where you're heading in life and trying to figure yourself out. I've been there and sometimes I think I still am. What you have is something special. You were created special by design. I want to ask you. What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you feel when you see yourself uncovered? I've asked myself that question more than once in my life time and always came to the answer. I'm ugly, unattractive. No one likes me for what I look like. That sense and lack of self confidence destroys your self worth and leads to more mental and emotional circumstances. We are worth so much to someone, someone who looks past you're exterior and sees you for who you truly are. Beauty lies within you and it's ready to shine just at the right time. Yeah, we have those not so pretty days and are a complete hot mess but you're still beautiful because someone sees you that way. No makeup, all those flaws, scars and bruises you may carry around. It's excepting yourself for who you truly are. Maybe you do feel pretty and beautiful wearing make-up. I do at times but it's not my life to always look polished. Being real with yourself is worth something. You have talent beyond you're looks. It's just finding it and knowing who you are no matter how long it takes. Do you feel like that's too much to handle? I know, waiting takes forever growing up in today's society with social media at you're finger tips, magazines of young celebrities all polished and pretty. That's not pretty. What you are and who you are, that is pretty. You are beautiful and you are worthy without make-up. Natural is real, it's not fake. It's okay if you have those not so pretty days or feel as if no one understands you. I know what you're going through after all I was a young girl once and a young adult. Sometimes it lives with us but together we can make this world really shine just the way we are.

A Time and A Place

You yourself are held responsible for the words you use, and your actions come with circumstances. In the last blog of the series I put it bluntly how big mouths pay dearly for their mistakes. Judgement, criticism, discrimination, racism, verbal and mental abuse has become a way of the world, and let me tell you we're held responsible for our actions and the words we use are used by choice. It goes both ways. What it is, is so many people take it to social media and online networks. There's a time and a place for it and it's not online. Taking you're problems and private life online is a BIG FAT NO! Have something to say and want to talk to someone, do it privately not where everyone can read it. What happens others will spew in return to give their two cents worth in the conversation. What more comes from it, a headache, stress, anxiety and depression. It causes mental, emotional and physical harm. Don't do it period! We all have lives, we have problems and issues, challenges and struggles. Talk to someone outside of social media networking. There are closed groups online to join to discuss issues privately. Just don't go there where others can read it. Obviously everyone has a difference of opinion. We're created that way. Giving constructive opinions are mostly likely to receive appreciation and respect in return. What it all comes down to if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. Remember I mentioned it in the last blog. This is where it all ties in. There's a time and a place for everything. There is some good out there in social media networking. The whole issue though at hand is hate, arrogance and insulting behavior used on social media platforms. Yes, we want to vent at times. Who doesn't, just find a different way to express yourself. You might surprise yourself in return. Like I say there's a time and place. STOP THE HATE!

BIG MOUTH

What you say and how you act go both ways or not at all. Remember your mother telling you "If can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." Well, it's true and the truth and pure honesty may hurt but what hurts the most is how you treat people. In today's society bullying is the word people use more than ever. In my day it was bullying but it wasn't talked about as much as it is these days. Back then getting picked on, teased, insulted were the common words kids and adults used. So why is it that the word bully is used way too much? The common answer isn't in a text book or on social media on contrary belief though it is used on social media but never in a good way. I've heard and seen more online mistreated use just in the past 10 years. It's sickening how people spew on others behind a keyboard. Mental and verbal abuse lead to depression, anxiety, and other severe mental health illnesses. Suicide rates have climbed rapidly just in the past 6 years due to online verbal and mental abuse. I've been the target to quite a number of attacks in my years of either in the independent music promotion realm, moderation on fan sites to various social media networking sites. It needs to stop. A BIG MOUTH comes with circumstances. It deeply hurts, cuts people down to make them, the bully empowered. It's not empowering. Those who judge and criticize others for the color of skin, the shape and size of a person, towards gender, towards religious beliefs, or the appearance of those different outside of the norm. Those people have issues themselves. They relentlessly have no respect for others and no respect for them.They need to take a deeper look at themselves. It's the self esteem issue. Low self-esteem, a negative perspective and pessimistic views on life harbor them. It's possible they grew up in a dysfunctional home. It all comes down to parenting. They bully cause they can and will. The only way to stop such intolerance is to speak out more about it, and that's what I'm doing. Oh, I'm just getting started as this will follow another blog in this blog series. A big mouth will pay dearly who attack on those who fight every day to be normal, who are normal. They are normal, a different kind of normal I understand very well. If you can't say anything nice then I recommend you start looking at yourself more. Don't be an idiot. If you have issues you can't control don't take it online. Just don't do it period because it will come back around.

Take Time For You: Stress Release

It isn't just a one year type of deal, it's year round. Stress, yes stress! It happens daily and we can control it the best we can. What I've learned throughout my lifestyle changes is to rest my mind, body and soul at the appropriate time otherwise warning signs, a red flag as I call it shows up. Heart palpitations, headaches, severe ones actually, trembling and shaky limbs, my hands begin to twitch and my eyes start dancing. If this occurs with you stop everything your doing. If your standing sit down. Take mini breaks between house hold chores. Have small children in the house. Ask them to sit with you for a time out. They may give you a strange look but what kid doesn't? They do. Grown up time outs are so extremely helpful for your body and mind. Work a full-time job standing, just stop for a couple minutes. Take 2 extremely deep breaths. Count between breaths. This was a learning process for me and boy does it help. This applies to to part-timers as well. If your job requires sitting, get up and stretch and not lazy ones. Reach high with your arms. Once you release them down to your side wiggle them down. This will help those nerve endings. What a difference the first time I learned this technique. Quiet time is hard to find. Do you have an empty room in your house where you know you won't get interrupted by noise? Spend a good 10 to 15 minutes in that quiet room. Some people call it a prayer room. This wonderful exercise helps you get in tune with your soul, mind and body. It will actually rejuvenate your whole self. Try it sometime and let me know how it works on Facebook at TheRealShelliePalmer or on Twitter @_Shellie_PalmerThese wonderful exercises will lift your mood and make you feel a lot better in any stressful moment. I've heard some great stories from followers on Instagram and let me tell you there amazing. We're all going to experience stress at least once or twice a day depending on the situation your experiencing at the time. You don't have to let it get to you. In the end result you'll be just fine. All it takes are those mini breaks during the day. Be good on yourself not just during the holiday season, all 365 days a year.Shellie

It's All About Community

More than a little over a week ago I officially opened a public community group on Facebook in which is geared for support and encouragement on several topics to be discussed on the community page. I want everyone to able to speak on any topic or issue that may be dealing with and just don't know how to approach the issue. It really is about community and I'm looking forward to talking on several issues such as mental illness, self-esteem, relationship goals and so much more. There is a broad range of topics to discuss and everyone is welcome. Let's all come together and help each other any way we can through the community page, It's All About Us. I even spoke on this in my recent blog that will begin a blog series geared to it as well. Everyone has a sole journey, so where do we begin. Let's do it here folks. Support, encouragement, motivation, inspiration is more than just at our finger tips, it's in our words and actions. What more is there at this point. I encourage you to join the group right here on my Facebook page.

It's About Us

Hello readers, friends and fans,I'm very much looking forward to what's to come as I begin a new series. This blog series will be combined into one large format to the official website. It will tackle several topics and issues in today's society. Some in which are stigmas, taboos, and what or should be acceptable in our society. Being that voice for the voiceless or to those who have the words but yet can't convey them. I'm speaking for them. I'm speaking for me as well. To be here and to give you my words, emotions, vulnerabilities, heart and soul is much of my meaningful purpose and I'm so very happy to be here to be able to provide self education and hope to everyone who struggles with obstacles, adversity, struggle with challenges that make us who we are. From it everyone does have a meaningful purpose and I've witnessed recently as well. It's powerful and comes from a higher power and of self. What a beautiful world and yes we all face whatever it maybe that keeps us down yet keeps us going and growing, learning and truth in all of humanity. Life is complicated but what isn't? We don't get off that easy. It is what it is. It is how you get through it and having a true support team and friends. It makes all the difference. I know it well too. This is about us, all about us, and I can't wait to bring you more the blog series yet to be titled.

One Voice

It only takes one voice to make a difference, to leave an impact on someone's life. I knew soon after self-publishing my very first book The Poetry Diaries felt the sense to hopefully leave an everlasting impact in someone's life, even if it's one person. Just maybe that one person is struggling with life whether it's financially, mentally or emotionally,drama surrounding them, toxic relationships or simply trying to find themselves. That means the most to me. Life is difficult but yet at the same time is truly beautiful when you simply slow down from a crazy busy lifestyle. Life is crazy but if you don't stop to take time for yourself your missing out on living. We're all going to have our good and bad days, who doesn't? It's okay to be a hot mess, yes, I use that phrase a lot more than I used to as I always kept everything so hidden, internalizing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. Honestly it's not a healthy way to live and sometimes I need to remind someone I know very well who's much like me. His songwriting comes out in that form. Most men hide their emotions. It's just not healthy and it does worry me from time to time that he needs that down time to get away from such a crazy busy schedule. I have learned not to really do as much even though I want to go back into the work-a-holic tendencies. I want to get back to you and remind you life is a hot mess, it's not glamorous, a picnic in the park or all cheery. It's difficult but to be that one voice for you reminds me why I love what I do.Your Hot Mess Gal PalShellie

The Journey Collection Series Book Giveaway

It's been a long while since I've released a book giveaway, this is that time and i'm happy to bring you the first giveaway of 2017. Not familiar with The Journey Collection Series,? not to worry there's plenty of time to catch up with the five previous books, with 1 of the 5 not quite yet available in paperback. It's coming though.Let me give you the details on how to enter and win 4 of the books right here along with a special gift.RulesDescribe yourself in 3 words. Why?Submit your answer via Facebook, Twitter or InstagramFacebook - TheRealShelliePalmerTwitter - @_Shellie_PalmerInstagram - shelliepalmer 3 winners to be picked at random and will be notified  through direct message either by Facebook, Twitter or InstagramHashtag #JourneyCollection #books on twitter with answerFor posting answer on Facebook comment in giveaway postComment your answer in post on InstagramDeadline for all submissions: Thursday August 10th before midnightWinners Announced: Friday August 11th

Life Changes

As several changes have begun to occur in my life these days, moving forward has been a bit scary and of course adjusting to them hasn't been easy either. Some days are a little overwhelming for me as to other days I feel such joy, happiness, content and much more peace. I've had some worry though how some of the closest people in my life are going to react when they get the news in the next 2 to 3 months. It will be a huge shift. I can't really talk about it not until that day actually comes. There is no set date, nothing planned, it will affect those closest to me though when it's time to sit down with them and discuss what will occur. I've gone through so much just in the past year alone and now with the major changes coming before the end of 2017 things are moving into warp speed more now than before. I had mentioned this in a more recent post about change and a meaningful purpose of life. When those times come they come unexpectedly just as this past year was a high of many unexpected moments for me and the one person who completely changed my life, fully opening my heart wide open as it was so closed and guard for so very long. Time is of the essence, it's the waiting that can feel like an eternity. I have to remind myself at times how patience is a true virtue and when things happen they happen on there own time. I'm excited, anxious, nervous, and scared all wrapped up in one. These feelings remind me to be good on myself and take care of myself whenever possible. Change does happen, and these changes will be a multitude of several emotions. I really am feeling it for sure and the anticipation is sky high. Phew!! What a wild ride this will be, the biggest adventures are coming.