Lisa M. Buske's Blog, page 69

TOP's Tuesday: Another Addition to the Facelift Part III

Last Spring, Spring of 2014, my parents and I attempted to refresh the Heidi Allen Remembrance Garden located at the intersection of State Routes 104 and 104B in New Haven, New York. Regardless of the weeds pulled, it was still in need of a deeper level of refreshing. It needed to be renewed.

Due to health reasons, Dad wasn't able to build the new star himself so he tried to find someone that could do the building and once they were finished, we would replant and do the gardening. Some made comments to me like "The garden looks so sad." or "Too bad someone doesn't care for the garden." These comments hurt because to have Heidi's Remembrance Garden looking so sad and unkempt breaks our hearts more than anyone else might feel.

As we waited for the new frame to be built, Spring transitioned to Summer, then Fall, and finally it was covered with snow once again. The blanket of white hid the dark and depressing star, twenty years later looking forgotten when in truth...it was just waiting. The garden waited like we do every day. 

Dad was feeling better so he started his blueprints while Christmas lights still glimmered from the white of the snow outside the window. He determined a way we could rebuild the star with a little help. The next order of business was to decide what flowers to keep and what to add.  After much discussion, we decided to wait until Spring and the start was rebuilt with the exception of a couple flowers and plants.  Each was chosen for a reason and with much thought.

Mom chose Shasta Daisies for each of the star points, the flower used to represent missing persons across the country. She also found an orange daisy to go in the points so that as the two daisies met, each point would present a white and orange presence, orange the color chosen for the ribbons of hope for Heidi in 1994.  

In the center, Mom and Dad chose a Cora Bell that is a burgundy in color now but will deepen to a purple even after the snow starts, Heidi liked purple. 

Around the cora bell are hosta plants, replanted from my parents house so there is a little bit of home in the spot our community chooses to remember Heidi with this beautiful garden. To fill in some of the empty space, purposely left to allow the other plants to grow this year and the years to come, we planted orange pansies. The pansies are the only flower and plant that won't return on its own each year. 

Before we could plant though, my husband, brother-in-law, Scott, and our friend Bob, dug out the entire star about twelve inches below ground level. This might seem like too much but there was a viney ground cover that took over the garden and choked out the roses and other flowers. The guys kept digging until they weren't getting roots to this vine. 

Only a few bulbs remained so the garden received a new frame, new top soil, mulch, and all new flowers and plants. We are grateful for our communities help to remember Heidi too. Leon's Farm Market and the New Haven Building Supply were generous in their contributions to make the new star and garden as beautiful as it is. Thank you again. Click on the links within the blog to read more about this aspect of the design and refreshment process. 

“It was such a pleasure to sink one's hands into the warm earth, to feel at one's fingertips the possibilities of the new season.” 
~ Kate Morton, 
The Forgotten Garden

Last month I shared a couple blogs talking about the face lift at the Heidi Allen Remembrance Garden, Part One and Part Two are link here and above. I shared it again because in the past month, my parents had another idea on how to personalize the garden even more, something that helps our community remember the Heidi they still hold dear to their hearts, and a way for those visiting the garden to understand the young lady our town lost.

Tomorrow's blog will reveal the new addition in case you haven't been by the store yet to see it for yourself. A couple people messaged me to say how much they like it, my parents, Ed, Mags, and I hope this new look helps Heidi, the person, be remembered. Many remember the missing person flyers and poster from newscast but not everyone may recognize the young girl, Heidi Allen. The child abducted from her place of employment and taken from her family, friends, and community never to be see again. May the Heidi Allen Remembrance Garden help us all hold out hope until Heidi is found. Be sure to visit the blog tomorrow 
to see the new addition...
it is "photo"tastic! 

A Mother's Monday: Do You Doubt Your "mothering"?

How many of you clicked on the link to read more because you answered yes to the question, "Do you doubt your mothering?" If you did, I would like to think you are not alone, and neither am I. Am I the only one who doubts her ability to be a good mom?

Have you ever watched your child(ren) and thought, "Where did I go wrong?" If we are honest with ourselves, most would say "yes". I'm grateful this isn't a common feeling yet it does pass through now and again. It seems to be more common since our daughter became a teen. Go figure, right? I'm thankful for a goal-oriented, driven, and level-headed child. I know this comes from picking my battles and positive parenting but sometimes I just want to throw up my hands. Can you relate? As I SMH (shake my head), I think, It would be easier to just say yes. BUT saying "yes" is never the easy route in the long run. It might appear that way in the moment but eventually, easy leads to difficult and time consuming. Is any of this making sense? I started this blog after graduation weekend with the exhaustion of busyness and emotional drain as the fuel. Doubt in my parenting was my focus and my heart was heavy with feelings of failure and loss but after a good night's sleep and a good Word, I see the hope and joy. 

Will I still have moments of doubt? Of course, I am human of course. We spend seventeen to eighteen years preparing our kiddos to break from their cocoon ready to conquer the world and then when this moment arrives, it is met with trepidation. We are silly creatures if you think about it. We spend nearly two decades preparing our child(ren) with the foundation they need to be independent adults but when they reach the age of application, we want to pull back and hold them a little closer, for just a little longer. 

I think this is where the doubt comes in. It isn't that you or I have done anything wrong or made a mountain of mistakes. Actually, it is one layer of the cocoon breaking away. We need to trust we've done our best, instilled the morals and virtues we value, and encourage open communication so our kiddos understand we will always be there for them. So stop doubting if your son or daughter is ready. Focus on the memories yet to be made and trust him/her to God, after all, we are all God's child first and foremost. Our child(ren) are ready to fly, it's us with the reservations. Don't doubt, release.

Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Doubt is normal and part of the grieving process when our child(ren) reach the final years of high school...they are ready to take flight, we need only open our hearts and hands to let go and see what wonderful things God has for them in their future.

TOP's Tuesday: To Trust While Waiting is Necessary

“So do not fear, 
for I am with you; 
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  
I will strengthen you and help you; 
I will uphold you 
with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

This weekly blog started in August of 2012. It's hard to believe we are approaching the three year mark. To read the first TOP's Tuesday blog, click here or on the photo of Heidi above. Initially this blog was to keep my readers up to date with upcoming speaking engagements and the publication process of Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey . After its release in April 2013, TOP's Tuesday morphed into a blog about Heidi and a weekly opportunity to focus on a "sister" issue or other related subjects.

I wasn't sure what to share today but as I took a moment to listen to the quiet this morning, I realized my heart is heavy with many things. Things I attempt to carry on my own. This is foolish since God's Word is clear...
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, 
all of you who are weary 
and carry heavy burdens, 
and I will give you rest." 
Matthew 11:28 NLT As the school year winds down my head, mind, and heart are swirling. There is excitement for the summer and memories to be made and plans to carry out. There is anticipation as we become parents of a high school senior in  a few days. There is concern for my sweet students I say goodbye by the week's end. I'll miss my renewed and new friendships of the past couple years. Life is a blessing and full of excitement and change. 

Heidi wanted to work with children. She wanted to make a difference in the lives of the innocent victims of divorce and difficult circumstances. We have a choice in life - embrace the change to make a difference where we can or let the change get the best of us. I'm of the mindset, to embrace. Heidi was denied this opportunity. I can't do this on my own or in my own strength. 

I heard the following song, Holy Spirit by Jesus Culture earlier at a speaking engagement. It filled my heart and is a new favorite. I share it with you today as a gift. May the Holy Spirit flood your heart, life, and this atmosphere as we move forward in anticipation of all God has for you.  What do you need to embrace today?

A Mother's Monday ~ Time to Honor Dad

My father was (is)  my teacher. 
But most importantly 
he was (is) a great dad.
Beau Bridges

There are some who will think I have finally flipped my lid, talking about dads on "A Mother's Monday" blog series. You might be right and then again, maybe the out-of-the-box way my brain works is on to something. Read on to see which it is, have I finally lost it or is there a tiny bit of truth to my thought processes today.

Yesterday was Father's Day. Most celebrate and honor their Dad's with picnics, gatherings, cards, notes, or whatever your family tradition might be. I had the honor to join the Oswego community for Walt Julian's World - 10 Again Celebration at Breitbeck Park. Julian is a child cancer warrior, to learn more about Julian and how you can join he and his family in prayer, click here . I'm thankful we were able to help and be there for part of the day.  As I thought about Julian and his Dad sitting together at the hospital Face-timing with his Mom, who was in Oswego at the event, I was humbled. 

The importance of Father's or Mother's Day isn't the material gifts given...it's the time spent with the miracles God gives us, our children. In today's society, there are ways to be together when it's physically impossible. You do what you have to do keep family first and the focus. This requires a team.

Mom is a part of this team. Not everyone reading this has a Mom and Dad in their lives. Some reading this have lost a parent to death and miss their mentors daily yet find the strength to move forward each and every day. It's a Mother's Monday and without the men in our lives, we would not be Mom's. Today, let's share a little love and encouragement for the men in our lives, especially our Dads.  Leave a comment below, on this blog, 
ONE WAY, your Dad influenced you
and how this act or words of wisdom 
made you a better person...

Who knows I might even give away a book 
in thanks for your sharing,
you never know so why not 
leave a comment and 
possibly win a book too!
Happy Father's Day!

A Mother's Monday ~ Sometimes Mom is Really Dad

My father was (is)  my teacher. 
But most importantly 
he was (is) a great dad.
Beau Bridges

There are some who will think I have finally flipped my lid, talking about dads on "A Mother's Monday" blog series. You might be right and then again, maybe the out-of-the-box way my brain works is on to something. Read on to see which it is, have I finally lost it or is there a tiny bit of truth to my thought processes today.

Yesterday was Father's Day. Most celebrate and honor their Dad's with picnics, gatherings, cards, notes, or whatever your family tradition might be. I had the honor to join the Oswego community for Walt Julian's World - 10 Again Celebration at Breitbeck Park. Julian is a child cancer warrior, to learn more about Julian and how you can join he and his family in prayer, click here . I'm thankful we were able to help and be there for part of the day.  As I thought about Julian and his Dad sitting together at the hospital Face-timing with his Mom, who was in Oswego at the event, I was humbled. 

The importance of Father's or Mother's Day isn't the material gifts given...it's the time spent with the miracles God gives us, our children. In today's society, there are ways to be together when it's physically impossible. You do what you have to do keep family first and the focus. This requires a team.

Mom is a part of this team. Not everyone reading this has a Mom and Dad in their lives. Some reading this have lost a parent to death and miss their mentors daily yet find the strength to move forward each and every day. It's a Mother's Monday and without the men in our lives, we would not be Mom's. Today, let's share a little love and encouragement for the men in our lives, especially our Dads.  Leave a comment below, on this blog, 
ONE WAY, your Dad influenced you
and how this act or words of wisdom 
made you a better person...

Who knows I might even give away a book 
in thanks for your sharing,
you never know so why not 
leave a comment and 
possibly win a book too!
Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day 2015

Butterfly Kisses
There's two things I know for sure. 
She was sent here from heaven, 
and she's daddy's little girl. 
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, 
she talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes. 
And I thank God for all of the joy in
my life, But most of all, for... 

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. 
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair. 
"Walk beside the pony daddy, 
it's my first ride." 
"I know the cake looks funny, 
daddy, but I sure tried." 
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, 
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, 
And butterfly kisses at night. 

Sweet sixteen today, 
She's looking like her momma
a little more everyday. 
One part woman, the other part girl. 
To perfume and makeup, 
form ribbons and curls. 
Trying her wings out
in a great big world. But I remember... 

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. 
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair. 
"You know how much I love you daddy, 
But if you don't mind, 
I'm only going to kiss you on
the cheek this time." 
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right. 
To deserve her love every morning, 
And butterfly kisses at night. 

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today. 
She'll make a promise, 
and I'll give her away. 
Standing in the bride room
just staring at her, 
she asked me what I'm thinking, 
and I said "I'm not sure, 
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." 
Then she leaned over....and gave me.... 

Butterfly kisses, with her mama there
Sticking little flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, 
it's just about time." 
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?" 
"Daddy, don't cry." 
With all that I've done wrong, 
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning, 
And butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more, man, this is what love is
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses... 
 ~ Bob Carlisle & Randy Thomas ~ Happy Father's Day to all the Dads in your life...

TOP's Tuesday: A Ring of Hope for Heidi

Last month we attended the annual Ride for Missing Children (RMC) in CNY. I've blogged about the RMC in the past and the beautiful encouragement, inspiration, and hope the individuals involved are to families of the missing. Today, as I reflect on different things in life, I want to once again thank these amazing people. I attended my first ride with my cousin Missy, I was amazed at the organization, dedication, and amount of support for families of missing and exploited children.

I never expected the friends we would make and the new family we were scooped into. Above is a photo of the "Ring of Hope". The sign reflects a few of the missing children the cyclists ride for. The people in the back ground are their family members, forever holding out hope.  Every time I stand in this Ring of Hope with our family, the families of other missing children who wait like we do...I am humbled. To watch over four-hundred cyclists hold their hearts, make the sign of the cross, bow, nod, and wipe tears reminds me that we are not alone in this journey. Not only aren't we alone, God surrounds us with selfless and caring individuals who dedicate time and energy to encourage us. In truth, it is NCMEC and the RMC who encourage and inspire us as we wait. Missing my sister, Heidi Allen, a lot this week. This TOP's Tuesday I extend thanks to all who remember Heidi and continue to pray and encourage our family and her friends. Thank you!! What do you hold out hope for? Never give up...we won't.

A Mother's Monday ~ Trusting Our Children To God

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, 
The fruit of the womb is a reward."
Psalm 127:3

An area I struggled with after the birth of our daughter was to trust her to God. This was, and sometimes still is, the most difficult aspect of parenting for me. The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God. If you read even more, the Bible also reminds us that if God cares for the birds and provides for them, He will most certainly care for you, me, and our children.

Look at the birds. 
They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, 
for your heavenly Father feeds them. 
And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"
Matthew 6:26

This past Saturday my husband and I had the joy to watch two or our friends' children get married after a long and sweet courtship. It was beautiful and the wedding was a testament of their faith in God and love for each other. The reception a celebration with friends and family. Our friends, the bride and bridegroom's parents, smiled ear to ear. They trust God.

While my opportunities to trust Mags into God's hands aren't that of marriage (yet), He daily offers choices and instances where I can hold her tight or trust and let her go and grow. To some, I am the "over protective" parent. Those who know me best understand and recognize how far I've come to trust God with His creation, my gift from Him, our daughter. 

I still have areas to let go so our daughter can grow and I look forward to them. Am I ready for the new adventures? I don't know to be honest with you BUT I know Who I will trust. God gifted her to me and as a parent, it is our role to love, nurture, teach, and prepare our children for adulthood. God is right there with us AND with our kiddos. If God cares about the birds, He most certainly cares for His children. 

We can't be with our children 24/7 BUT thankfully...GOD IS! What area do you need to trust your child(ren) to God?
Let go so they can grow...will you share a story or area of growth?

The Calendar Doesn't Stop Time

“Time is an illusion.” 
~ Albert Einstein

Our front room is also my "office". Last night as I closed the door after letting the dogs in I noticed a few things on my "bulletin board", also known as our door. What is the first thing you notice when you look at this photo? I wonder if you noticed the same thing I did. Would you like me to tell you?

My observation and revelation...even if we don't flip the calendar to the new month or write out the new months things-to-do, time moves forward. We, and our lives, are similar to the calendar. Clocks keep ticking and time continues to move forward and will do so long after we leave this ball we call earth. 

Why is this truth and realization so important? For me, it stopped me to ask myself, "why" haven't I flipped the calendar and written out the June events on the door? Is there a reason I have avoided it? Am I just split in too many directions to realize it hadn't been done? Is there a subconscious reason for not doing it?

Who knew have a blank calendar and a last month calendar showing could trigger so much insight and thought. How about you, have you thought about the time continuum and our attempts to stop time when it isn't a feasible option? I don't know...this is my random thought for the day, I'd love to hear from you. What is your revelation or the first thing you noticed?

TOP's Tuesday: "No I in TEAM"

This is a risky conversation to have on the blog. I think sports are similar to politics at times, in regards to sharing our opinions about fair calls, fouls, flags, and such. I'll start with this disclaimer, I'm not watching the NBA playoffs. My husband is a die-hard fan and checking the score after work, searching for highlights, or falling asleep watching the game are the norm.

Yesterday as I listened and watched the news, hoping the rain would hold off for our field trip (which it did, yeah!), I couldn't get over all the talk about Lebron James. It appears he is having some great games and making history yet something was missing from each report or discussion, a mention of his team. 

I haven't played basketball since high school but in order for the star to make a basket, rebound, or be deemed a legend...he or she has a team passing, blocking, and supporting them on and off the court. Don't misunderstand, I also understand Lebron James is discussed with likeness to Michael Jordan. I do remember him and his skill on the court. Michael Jordan was Heidi's favorite player and Jordan apparel surrounded me. 

Why do I share this? It's not to ignite a debate or upset my husband. It's something that caught my attention while watching the news. As an educator in Kindergarten we encourage and model "No I in Team" for our students. I've done the same for my daughter but then we watch the news to see one of fifteen players on a professional sports team receiving all the kudos. 

What about the guys with the multitude of assists, passes, and blocks to make the score board and stats reflect the amazing numbers. Yes, Lebron James has talent and can land a sweet shot, which is a result of countless hours of practice but even he recognizes his team deserves kudos. Did you know he gifted Apple watches, among other items to his teammates during the playoffs?  Lebron James gets it. He appreciates his teammates. I read a few different articles yesterday and last night because I wanted to know more about this superstar. I was pleasantly surprised to find many reports or interviews where #23 credits his team and verbalizes he doesn't like the comparison to God. 

If Lebron James understands it's a team game and he is one of many, then why is the only aspects of the games highlighted when Lebron makes a shot or fails to make one? I don't know if last night was the last game or if there is another one tonight, I just know that if we expect our kiddos to play and live with a team mentality then it needs to be modeled for them. So many of our students dream of being the next Jordan or Lebron James, but what if they were the next Matthew Dellavedova? Something to think about. Not everyone can be in the headlines yet everyone has an important role or position. Thanks for reading a different 
type of TOP's Tuesday. 
Heidi was dubbed the Tower of Power 
for her stellar volleyball skills yet one thing she always remembered was her team and those who made it possible for her to shine on the court. 

Who is your all-start supporting role?