Lisa M. Buske's Blog, page 67

TOP's Tuesday: It's Not as Easy as One Button Might Say

Hello everyone! In Central New York, summer is winding down and school shopping is underway. Final summer gatherings and trips fill the calendar. 

A buzz and sense of excitement fill the air. While these things typically have a similar effect on me, I don’t have much celebration in my step and to be honest, I’m just overwhelmed and wish there as a do-over button like the “That was Easy” button from Staples. BUT, life is not as simple as pushing a button or a Hallmark movie do-over. Sometimes, in layman terms, reality sucks!
Typically on the blog I share whatever challenge, obstacle, or journey I’m facing or traveling through at the moment. I share from my heart in hopes of helping someone in a similar situation. 

Yet, some situations and thoughts aren't meant for the Internet or a blog, they are personal and much deeper. Sometimes, to share how I'm feeling and dealing would violate another's privacy. 

Each of us are wired differently, so it might require we set aside our desire and need to express our feelings and needs out of respect for others. This isn’t easy but sometimes it is necessary and the right thing to do. I'm experiencing on of these moments. To be honest, it's probably the most difficult journey and road traveled since the disappearance of my sister.

Those close to me say, "you are so strong" or "your strength amazes me", but on the inside...my heart breaks. I was raised to do what is right and put others before myself. I was blessed to have an array of strong, determined, and amazing women in my life. Each using their gifts to help others and to get-r-done. Today I find myself in this mode yet don't feel the strength, determination, or amazement I saw reflected from these matriarchs.

While I’m all too familiar with this reality, as many of you are too…life is also an amazing journey and a joy. Life is the greatest oxymoron there is, don’t you think.

My prayer...to lean on God and those He places in my life during this time. It is only with His strength within me, His determination guiding me, and His love shining through me that I will transition through this valley with grace, mercy, hope, and joy. 

I haven't blogged much because my energy and clarity of mind are overwhelmed as I run this marathon. While I can't blog the details of the road I currently travel through the valley, my hope and prayer is to share from the heart in hopes of encouraging someone else. In 2010 this blog started with a goal to share and help others. 

I've let myself and others down, stress and grief attempt to consume me. A daily prayer and struggle is to keep looking up, leaning on Him and the support network He provides, and be an example of His strength, grace, mercy, love, and joy. 

I'm not ready nor do I feel competent for this next phase in life yet my Gram assured me, God won't give me more than I can handle...so why do I feel so helpless and weak? Why do the verses I read, the songs I sing, and the prayers I lift leave me drained and fighting tears? 

I can't do this alone or with the greatest support network of friends, family, and community. I can only do this through leaning on God...I need your prayers to remove the "I" from the equation and keep my eyes focused on Him and let this reflect to others. If you are going through a difficult time and aren't feeling the joy, maybe this little ditty with return some pep to your step. I know it helps me.  Sometimes we need to think, speak, sing, and dance it before we feel it. A little James Brown might inspire some "feel good". What helps you to feel good 
as you transition through the valley?

To Wish Upon a Star is More Than a Memorized Poem

Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I Wish I may
I Wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight"

One of the first poems my mother taught me is this silly one about wishing on the first star I saw each night. Although I know to wish upon a star won't move me forward in life or alter the direction of things, I still, in my forties...wish upon that beautiful star. Why do we wish upon a star into our adult years, even after age and wisdom tell us differently? The reason any of us repeat something is different from situation to situation, person to person. For me, I think it's a habit. At Two O'clock this morning I woke and gazed out the window and saw the stars, even in a sleepy mode, I whispered this little ditty. I smiled, chuckled at myself, and then put my feet to the floor. I couldn't just roll over and go back to sleep.

These beautiful stars are a portrait painted by a loving and creative God.

Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights—
His faithful love endures forever.
the sun to rule the day,
His faithful love endures forever.
and the moon and stars to rule the night.
His faithful love endures forever."
Psalm 136:4-9 NLT

While the stars are a beautiful reflection of God's faithful love and its endurance over time, this isn't the reason for my enjoyment of such a simple and childhood poem, or nursery rhyme. Instead, it's the memory attached to it. My Mom taught Heidi and I these words, words to memorize and cherish. Words to tuck away for the tough times in life, when all hope seems gone...to wish upon a star. Words to instill laughter at the silliness of making a wish in my mind that no one heard, a wish you never told anyone. If the wish was answered, you knew it was real because we never uttered it aloud. 

As an adult and one who believes in God and the power of prayer, I still recite this poem when admiring such a beautiful canvas of black and white. I wasn't able to capture it with my camera yet in my mind's eye...it remains. With my hoodie and camera I ventured to the deck. I returned inside without a photo yet the hope and reminder in my heart can't be contained.

None of us know what tomorrow brings yet we know who brings tomorrow.

I'm thankful for moments like this. It's a joy to remember those moments of star gazing with my parents. To lie on a blanket between my parents as they pointed out different constellations and share about "back in the day" are fond memories. 

Times of two sisters encompassed in their parent's love and life. Two parents investing in their girls so we would carry on the tradition with our own children. Memories hold power...I'm thankful for something as silly as a star triggering a snip-it in time. A time of laughter and hope. As I said my poem tonight tears flowed 
I whispered words to the wind 
with the early morning dew beneath my feet. 
Star light, Star bright...grant my wish tonight.
God of light, Son shining so bright...answer my prayer tonight. Have you ever wished upon a star or
Taught this poem to someone?

TOP's Tuesday: Field Day Memories...

Do you have a community event that involves a parade, games, rides, and BBQ? In our neck of the woods, these are called "Field Days". Field Days are one of my fondest memories as a child. This was a time when the entire town, and neighboring towns, gathered to celebrate summer while raising funds to support our volunteer fire department. 

Below is a picture of Heidi and I from one year's new's coverage of the field days. And yes, we are in matching clothes again. We weren't twins, we had four years between us, and Mom still tended to dress us alike for outings. It was cute at 8, not so much at 13. Just the thought of the sailor outfits makes me laugh, but that's another blog.

Another Field Days memory is to know the entire family gathered at the New Haven Building Supply to watch the parade. When us kids came by, all the aunts and uncles, and cousins not in the parade cheered as if we were the highlight of the parade.  As an adult, to watch the kids on their bikes and such is still my favorite part to watch and I try to cheer so they feel like royalty too. 
Fast forward to the year or two after Heidi disappeared and I remember the Syracuse Bagpipes stopping in front of the Heidi Allen Command Post when it was located at the intersection of State Route 104 and County Route 6. They played Amazing Grace while facing our family and friends, and the sign, "We Won't Forget You".

Memories flood my mind lately. I miss my sister so much and wish she was sitting at my side. I wish she was here to help, to plan, and to comfort. While I'm surrounded by so many family and friends, my heart aches for Heidi to be here, a life event unfolds when you just want your sister. While I don't have Heidi here, I know God is strong enough to hold us up through this new journey. Praying for His strength and for His comfort. Thank you for remembering Heidi!
*News clipping from local Mexico paper in late 70's/early 80's. Found in a photo album. Will you share a memory or two below? I hope you will....

Conferences Provide Inspiration and Life Lessons

Last summer I attended the Oswego Writing Institute in August. In addition to learning from published authors, illustrators, and various experts in the area of writing. 

As if this isn't exciting enough, I was invited to teach a break out session each day, with more attending on the second day because of the feedback shared by previous attendees. I learned and taught. SUNY Oswego hosts this great Writing Institute again this month with new speakers, presenters, and authors. I'm not able to attend this year but am grateful for the valuable information I learned last summer. I learned things to apply to the classroom and my own life. 

When we attend a conference with our eyes, ears, and hearts open, there are many lessons we can receive . Ones we are meant to share with others as we move along life's path for us. 

The school district I work for has transitioned into "Leader in Me" schools, at least for our elementary buildings at this time. The training started this Spring and offered tools, strategies, plans, and information that focus first on us as a person, then us as a staff member of MACS. 

If you are familiar with Steven Covey, then the "Leader in Me" will make complete sense. Covey wrote a book and started with trainings to improve business, a principal applied this to her elementary school, and the result...lives, environments, and communities changed for the better. 

I'm thankful to work for a district that values not only their students but also the staff working with their students. The principals taught can be adapted, carried out, and applied in our homes and private lives too. The next time you attend a conference, what is the life lesson you can take away with you?
Why do you attend conferences and workshops in the field you work, study, or pursue?
What is a life lesson you learned that helped you at home?

Starting the day with coffee...

This morning on the Where's Heidi? Facebook page, I asked, "What is the first thing you do on Sunday morning?" The first person to answer said, "turn on the coffee". So Jenn, this blog is for you. 

Have a great day everyone! Have a great Sunday and start to the week...

The Waiting Game...A Different Chapter This Time

Therefore, 
return to your God, 
Observe kindness 
and justice, 
And wait 
for your God continually.
Hosea 12:6

Since 2010 I've written many blogs on various aspects of waiting. To wait is one of life's greatest lessons and occurrences. We wait for good news, for test results, and for our loved ones to be found. In the past few weeks, the waiting game has stepped up for our family. For those of you that remember life before Facebook and social media, you'll understand my next statement and truth. "Not everything is meant for social media" and "there is a right time for sharing things".  In today's instantaneous day of posting and chatting, it's difficult to keep one's privacy while also reaching out to others. Yet there are also times to reach out, share, and ask for help and prayers.

Today I ask you to join my family in prayer as we wait.  I know people who don't like it when a prayer request is shared without more detail but at times like this, I think it's okay. God knows our needs, fears, reality, and hopes. In the right timing and with the permission of my family, I will share. For now, thank you for joining and once again lifting us in prayer. 


We've waited over twenty-one years to know where my sister, Heidi Allen, is. Many years ago, I waited months for the birth of our daughter. We all waited for the publishing of Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey . Teachers and students wait for the school year to end and then wait for it to start again. Waiting can be with anticipation or trepidation, either way, waiting requires faith, patience, and prayer. Waiting is a part of life..

In the morning, O LORD, 
You will hear my voice; 
In the morning I will 
order my prayer to You 
and eagerly watch.
Psalm 5:3

As we wait, we have a choice...to seek God or wallow in the unknown.
I choose to seek God as I reach out for prayers...
prayers of strength, courage, wisdom, and hope.

TOPS Tuesday: "Finally A New Blog"

“We can always
lace a sense 
of humor 
around 
anything.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

Sometimes life gets busy, but one of my favorite peeps is missing her daily blogs. Not much to say but here is your blog....lol...I'm going to spend time making memories and who knows, maybe I'll even blog again this week. Dedicated to my number one fans...

Beauty of the Morning Dew

One of my favorite summer traditions is to start the day on our back deck with coffee, my Bible, and a journal. The past few weeks I haven't got out as often as normal so when I went out the other day, I was amazed at how the flowers and plants had grown so much. Nature is always growing and blossoming, while I missed my mornings on the deck, I'm thankful for the opportunity to recognize the amazing beauty in my own backyard.
I need to thank my parents, husband, and brother-in-law for it all. Mom and Dad planned the landscaping, with 95% of the additions at our house, being transplants from their house, my childhood home. It's like having the best of both worlds, past meets present. 


As if the dew wasn't enough, a light rain dampened the morning briefly, and a bee collected honey before I was finished capturing a few photos. A wonderful start to the day, one of many. Choosing to seize the positive. Tomorrow morning when you wake up - look outside and see what's new? 
Will you share in a comment below so we can hear too.

Get out of the "Holy Huddle" and get in the game

What can I say?  I love hanging out 
with my Christian friends.  
They speak truth into me,
 look out for me, encourage me, 
and help keep me on track.  
I always walk away from our get-togethers with some extra pep in my step, that’s right, pep in my step.  
Plus hanging out with your Christian friends is Biblical – “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17 NLT
(Read article about Holy Huddle Hear)

I started this blog in June 2013 after our pastor at that time preached a message and used the phrase, "Get out of the 'holy huddle' and get in the game." I don't remember the entire message more than two years later but there is one thing I remember, he was speaking to Christians. Sometimes, not always, but often Christians will only do things with their "religious" friends and church family (holy huddle). 

Pastor challenged everyone in church that morning to "get out of the holy huddle" and spend time with the people around us. If you've attended VBS, read the Bible, or even sang a Veggie Tales song then you know Jesus hung with the lowest of low...even a tax collector. GASP! So why do we, as Christians tend to stick close to our church families and friends?

I have an idea, it's safe. If the only people we "hang" with are other Christians, do we truly believe the message we claim to live out? Are we really living our faith if we don't keep ALL our friends and family close and involved in our lives? I'll admit, in the beginning, there was a "pruning process" necessary. Sometimes the sin in one's life requires them to huddle with positive role models and mentors until strong enough to stand on their own. But at some point, we need to trust our faith, testimony, and God as we step out of the "holy huddle", aka, our comfort zone, and share how God worked in our life.

I don't want to be a Bible thumper and I don't recommend it to you either. If you thump people with an over zealous testimony and push them to accept Jesus, you might push them further in the opposite direction. Instead, live a life that models God's love, peace, healing, and working. To "see" Jesus working in and through you will mean more than any Bible verse thrust at someone with condemnation. Does this make sense? 

Many quoted Bible verses to me and attempted to guilt me into going to church and such but it was a child who reached my heart. He didn't wave his Bible at me, quote Bible verses, or demand I change. Instead, he told me I needed Jesus and invited me to church. God knew what and how I needed to hear this invitation. Some might need a Bible thumping but I think those are far and few between. People need to know you care for them and are hungry for positive relationships.

So let us all get out of the holy huddle and share the Good News through our thoughts, words, and deeds...not the memorized speech. Jesus and a friendship with Him aren't rehearsed...it's open, loving, and constant. Okay, getting off my soapbox! Have a great day!

“Alright Christians, huddle up!  We have a lot of people out there hurting, searching for that something that’s missing in their lives.  They don’t know Jesus because nobody has ever told them.  The Lord is looking for messengers to reach out to these people, messengers to bring the good news!  Christians, we are the messengers!  So when we break this huddle, let’s expand our relational circles!  Let’s reach out to those in need!   Let’s be the beautiful feet!  Alright messengers…..send me on three. 1-2-3 SEND ME!”
To Read Entire "Holy Huddle" article - click here

Are you in the "Holy Huddle" or are you Living the Call?

Have You Taken The First Step? Let the Journey Begin...

After looking at the calendar this morning to realize our summer vacation is reaching the half way point on Saturday I found myself thinking. Thoughts and memories of the past weeks followed by ideas to put into motion in the next few weeks. I work as a paraprofessional at the school district in my area and sometimes, the weeks before school have potential to be ever-changing. Some teachers decide to accept a new position which opens their position and the dominoes fall until the first day of school. Each new position and change is the first and little step to the teacher or staff's new journey.

It's been a couple years since I embarked on the great journey after a little change from a building assignment of ten plus years to a new one. The change and relocation was a blessing and brought many friendships and God-stops. If we don't take the first little stop towards the change God's placed in our path, we'll never experience the great journey He placed before us. To look back I see so many instances of God working in and through me, I feel blessed and humbled. I don't know why God would choose me to be a vessel for Him in my imperfection yet this is how God works.

If something is broken, we generally discard it. 
However, God uses broken things to accomplish His purposes...
Yes, God uses broken things. Perhaps your life has been been broken by sin, 
but unlike Humpty Dumpty and the king's men, God can put it back together again. - Larry Acuff, Lithia Springs, Georgia (to read entire article click here)

Regardless of where you are this summer, embrace the "little steps" and look forward in anticipation for the "great journey" before you. My head swims with thoughts of where our next "great journey" is leading us BUT I know one thing for sure...God is in control and will NEVER LEAVE ME, and I'm not turning my back on Him. Instead, lean on God even more and seek His wisdom, guidance, and strength with each little and big step in this next journey of life. When faced with little or big steps, 
do you look forward in anticipation?