Nick Vulich's Blog, page 4

Update on Babelcube Sales

The results are in!

I'm not getting rich, but all of the books except one are selling. Most of them have sold two to four copies in the last fourteen days. Sales are spread pretty much evenly between Amazon and Apple. Only one sale came from Kobo.

Definitely not up there with Amazon.com sales, but I'm happy to see some sales rolling in. Hopefully by fall the books will be established and selling more copies.

I would definitely suggest giving Babelcube a try. There's a potential there for picking up some extra cash over the long run.

A Writer's Resume

I've been a liar, I've been a cheat, and I've been an asshole. Many times I've been all three in the same day, in the same hour.

It comes with the territory.

I've killed more men than Adolf Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and Cecil B. DeMille combined. I've blown up world after world. I've ravaged young women, and assassinated Kings and Presidents.

It's all in a day's work.

And, when I was done, I found myself asking. "What's next?" "What other dastardly deeds must be done?"

Who am I you may ask?

A humble writer. A man of the pen.

I work my magic with paper, pen, and a bit of help from MS Word.

Book Review of Everything I Know by Paul Jarvis

I don't normally like self-help books. All of that rah-rah go get 'em bullshit just doesn't sit well with me.

With that said, why read this book?

It's not your typical self-help book. It doesn't paint a rosy picture of life, the world, and everything else. Jarvis tells it like he sees it. In his own words, "I swear because I swear. That's who I am, and always have been/"

Damn right! Occasional swearing is good. Three points for Paul Jarvis.




For writers there's some additional advice, " blogging and social media don't make you better at your craft, doing your craft makes you better at it." Think about that for a minute, how much time do you spend blogging, tweeting, checking Facebook, and all that other BS. Most of it is just a time suck that eats up valuable time you could be writing.

Another key takeaway, "none of us advice givers know what's possible for you. We can offer insight sure, but that's about it. My best advice? Fuck advice and listen to yourself."

How about you? How many blogs, books, and articles have you consulted about writing, book marketing, or whatever subject grabs your fancy? Some times you've just got to say what the hell, and do what you think is best, or right for you.

And, that's what I like best about this book.

Jarvis advises you over and over again, not to follow the pack. Be yourself. Take a chance, and do what you think you should do. Be original. Don't ask others for advice, and don't copy what other successful people are doing because it worked for them.

Be yourself. Be an original. Don't be afraid to take the road less followed, or forge a new path altogether. Even if you fail, you'll know where to start the next time out.

The book is Everything I Know. It's written by Paul Jarvis, and it's worth the time you invest to read it.

Help! I Can't Think of Anything to Write About

Percival Lowell in 1904Do you ever wonder where people pick up crazy ideas? You know what I’m talking about - the man on the moon, the canals of Mars, and little green men from outer space.
Back in the late 1890’s to early 1900’s there was an amateur astronomer named Percival Lowell. He read the works of Camille Flammarion and Giovanni Schiaparelli, and became convinced there was life on Mars. Most guys would’ve read a book or two on the subject and let it go at that. Lowell had some extra money jingling around in his pocket and built a full-fledged astronomical observatory to support his obsession.
He searched out the perfect location for it which just happened to be on a hill outside of Flagstaff, Arizona. He named the spot Mars Hill, and over time it developed into the world’s largest private observatory.
Over the years Lowell penned three books: Mars, 1895; Mars and Its Canals, 1906; and Mars as the Abode of Life, 1908. He mapped out a whole series of canals crisscrossing the planet. Not satisfied with that Lowell developed a theory about an entire civilization forced to the point of extinction on their dying planet.
He rushed to get his observatory completed before 1894. That was when the two planets would draw closest together and he expected to enjoy a front row seat for the upcoming Martian invasion.
When the impending invasion didn’t materialize Lowell continued his studies. He gave lectures and spread his message about the strange civilization he had discovered on Mars.
The scientific world vehemently disagreed arguing Lowell was deranged or at the very least his observations were half-baked. Other astronomers couldn’t see the canals. “The atmosphere was too thin to support life,” they said. “There’s not enough gravity.”
None of these criticisms deterred Lowell. He responded the reason they couldn’t see the elaborate system of canals was the ability to see them depended upon atmospheric conditions. They happened to be just right when viewed from his observatory. Life on Mars was different he argued. The rules of gravity and atmosphere that existed on Earth didn’t apply to beings from Mars.
Lowell continued his astronomical studies until his death in 1916. When he died he endowed his observatory with a tidy sum of money, and entrusted them to find what he called the missing planet – “Planet X.”
In 1930 “Planet X” known today as Pluto was discovered by the team at the Lowell Observatory located on Mars Hill.      What does all this have to do with writing?
As writers each of us creates entirely new worlds in our heads. We cling stubbornly to them adding facts, sometimes changing the laws of physics or commonsense to support our creations.
In a way we’re no different than scientist. We start with a hypothesis (or a simple question) … we ask ourselves what if the world is square, or what would the world be like if Hitler won World War II, or why do good things have to be so bad for us?
Sometimes we know the worlds we’re creating contradict the laws of commonsense and physics, but that’s half the fun of it.
When you’re writing about something you’ve got to make it so real you and everyone else just has to believe it, no matter what!
How else can you explain Hobbits and such?     
Or if you really can’t think of anything to write about, you may just want to take a gander back through history and study the works of misunderstood geniuses like Percival Lowell.
(Originally published in my book Indie Author's Toolbox)

Free Download Coupons for Kindle Cash System Audio Book

The folks at Audible just handed me twenty-five free download codes for my audio book version of Kindle Cash System. You can check out the book description here, or you can take my word for it that it contains some good advice on how to publish your books across multiple platforms including Audible, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, and Babelcube.

Just want to let you know a few things before you snap up these download codes. If you don't already have an Audible account, they're going to make you sign up for a trial membership. Don't blame the messenger, it's just the way the service works. If you already have a membership the book is entirely free and you will be listening to it in no time.

I do have one favor to ask if you request a free copy. Consider stopping back to leave a short honest review on Audible, Amazon, iTunes, or even all three if you're feeling extremely grateful. And can I ask one more thing, don't just say "I liked it." or "I hated it." Leave a few short sentences saying why, because that will help other readers decide if it's the right or wrong book for them.

Thanks, and be patient. I will get those codes out to you as quick as I can.

Your Book in a Hardbound Edition? Getting Started Publishing on Lulu

I don't know about you, but I've always had trouble thinking of myself as a writer. I think part of this is because most of my books are available in digital, audio, and paperback formats. I don't know about you, but when I was growing up you weren't a writer until your book was available in a hardbound edition.

For those of you who don't remember back before eBooks hit the scene, traditional publishers would release hardbound editions first. Then six months or a year later after sales had slowed down enough and they had milked the hardbound edition for all they could, they would release the paperback edition. It was a long wait, but for the monetarily challenged there weren't many other choices. You could join a book club, and grab the free volumes they offered. Or, you could visit the library. But, most times, it was just a long wait, hoping the new Stephen King or David Morrell novels would hit the paperback stands.

I know I was excited when my first paperbacks were printed up, and I could finally grab hold of one of my books. Thank you Create Space. But, even that wasn't enough to convince me I was a real writer. I still kept thinking you haven't made it until you've got a hardbound book.

The final dust jacket design for eBay 2014Well I finally took the leap today and did it.

I printed two of my books in the hardbound edition on Lulu. I haven't seen them yet, but they should be in my hands within two weeks, and that's the day I'll know it's official. I'm a writer.

In a way it's funny, we all set certain goals that let us know we made it.

I've sold over twenty thousand Kindle books in the last year and a half, thousands of paperbacks, and close to a thousand more audio books. Yet for me, success is seeing my books in a hardback edition.

How about you?

What goals did you set for yourself that would finally let you know you were a real writer. Was it selling your first Kindle book? Selling a thousand Kindle books? Making a hundred grand in royalties?

We're all different. And we all aspire to different things, and I think that's good.

Anyway, if a hardbound book is in your future, I'll try and get a tutorial up in the next week or two to guide you through the process. Most of it's pretty easy, but designing that dust jacket almost did me in.

Hopefully I'll be able to save you some time, and a whole lot of frustration.

Final dust jacket for Sell it Online (I designed these with Lulu's cover creator)

Your Book in a Hardbound Edition? Getting Started With Lulu

I don't know about you, but I've always had trouble thinking of myself as a writer. I think part of this is because most of my books are available in digital, audio, and paperback formats. I don't know about you, but when I was growing up you weren't a writer until you're book was available in a hardbound edition.

For those of you who don't remember back before eBooks hit the scene, traditional publishers would release hardbound editions first. Then six months or a year later after sales had slowed down enough and they had milked the hardbound edition for all they could, they would release the paperback edition. It was a long wait, but for the monetarily challenged there weren't many other choices. You could join a book club, and grab the free volumes they offered. Or, you could visit the library. But, most times, it was just a long wait, hoping the new Stephen King or David Morrell novels would hit the paperback stands.

I know I was excited when my first paperbacks were printed up, and I could finally grab hold of one of my books. Thank you Create Space. But, even that wasn't enough to convince me I was a real writer. I still kept thinking you haven't made it until you've got a hardbound book.

The final dust jacket design for eBay 2014Well I finally took the leap today and did it.

I printed two of my books in the hardbound edition on Lulu. I haven't seen them yet, but they should be in my hands within two weeks, and that's the day I'll know it's official. I'm a writer.

In a way it's funny, but we all set certain goals that let us know we made it.

I've sold over twenty thousand Kindle books in the last year and a half, thousands of paperbacks, and close to a thousand more audio books. Yet for me, success is seeing my books in a hardback edition.

How about you?

What goals did you set for yourself that would finally let you know you were a real writer. Was it selling your first Kindle book? Selling a thousand Kindle books? Making a hundred grand in royalties?

We're all different. And we all aspire to different things, and I think that's good.

Anyway, if a hardbound book is in your future, I'll try and get a tutorial up in the next week or two to guide you through the process. Most of it's pretty easy, but designing that dust jacket almost did me in.

Hopefully I'll be able to save you some time, and a whole lot of frustration.

Excerpt from Life Without the BS: Rants, Raves & Other Crazy Stuff

Coming to Amazon readers in JulyOkay, I've been slaving away at it for over a month, and the new book is almost finished. It's called Life Without the BS: Rants, Raves, & Other Crazy Stuff, and it should be available sometime in July. Here are a couple outtakes from the book, let me know what you think.


There must be a million and one ways to do that, who’d have ever guessed your way would be the best?
Of course, it wasn’t. But, dad always had a way of winning those arguments. I cut grass against the grain. I dried dishes wrong. I ate the wrong food. I watched the wrong TV shows.
Let’s just say I did a hell of a lot of things wrong when I was a kid, and now that I’m in my fifties that string of wrong moves just seems to keep multiplying.
Let’s see if any of this sounds familiar.……………
My dad’s big on telling me I eat too much.
He’s probably right on that score. What grinds on me is the way he approaches it.
Every time I visit, he sends me off to the Chicken Ranch to fetch dinner. Deep fried chicken, greasy potatoes, BBQ sauce. I can feel my arteries clogging just thinking about it.
The thing is I love fried chicken, especially the skin. Man, just dip that shit in BBQ sauce, and you got a treat no one can match. So picture this if you will. Here I am dunking my chicken in BBQ and shoveling that shit into my mouth as fast as I can, and here’s the old man. He’s carefully picking all the skin and fat off his chicken, piling it in heaps beside his plate. After he’s got his chicken just right, he moves on to his potatoes. Deep fried potato wedges. Again, he carefully chops off all the skin and brown, taking it down to the consistency of a baked potato. And, all the while he’s doing this he’s giving a lecture on how bad that stuff is for you.
He just doesn’t see how I can eat it.
I don’t see how he can keep buying it week after week if he’s so sure it’s going to kill me, unless… There may be some ulterior motives here.
But, wait. The plot thickens even more.
When dinner’s finished, and the lectures on watching your weight, not eating chicken fat, and not having a job are finally finished – out comes the pie, cake, or the ice cream.
Good thinking! A nice sugar filled desert is sure to counteract the chicken fat.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I mean who else is going to spring for a chicken dinner every time I stop by.…………….
You know who else is always right?
Women.
Guys, I know you’re with me on this one. It’s okay, you can look around and make sure your wife or best lady isn’t within earshot. I’ll wait.
How did that old book put it? “Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.” If you’ve ever tried to argue with a woman you’ll appreciate the subtle changes I made to that line. “Women are from hell, and men are from, Get me the hell out of here!”
It’s no surprise domestic quarrels are the most dangerous calls for law enforcement officers.
Have you ever seen a woman gone wild, swinging a frying pan?  She’s acting like she’s back in cave man days. The guy, he’s looking at her like she’s a raging mastodon. All he knows is he’s got to get clear of there, or take a cast iron skillet across his forehead.

And guys, just to make it clear. If things have gone this far, there’s no chance of getting any make-up sex tonight. Just keep running. Just keep running.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.Mark Twain……………..
Politics, like sex, is an acquired taste. Some like it rough. A lot of people talk about how big it is, or how it happens more and more in dark alleyways, and shady hotels.
My neighbor likens politics to marriage. After three or four years you’ve seen it all. A dick’s a dick, and tits just keep sagging south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
If you’ve ever noticed, prostitutes and politicians have a lot in common. After you’ve spent a little time around either one of them you can’t help having yourself checked for diseases.
……………
Have you given any thought to the upcoming elections?
Hillary is lurking around the corner waiting for her turn at the wheel.
Last election it was a race between black and white. This time it’s going to be a contest between fat and ugly.
Pick your poison. Hillary? or Rush?
You’ve got to respect this guy, fat, stupid…not happy with the millions of fellow bigots that listen to his daily radio show, Rush recently decided his best shot at the big time was to infect young minds before they had a chance to fully develop.
To this end he developed a series of patriotic history books.
Who hasn’t heard the tale of Rush Revere, and his talking horse, Liberty. Together they travel through history, righting wrongs, and rewriting historical events to better fit the liberal agenda.
If I was Hillary I’d take a few tips from Old Rush. She should take a few tokes of whatever he’s been smoking, and start writing about alien abductions, and how she was carted off to the Planet Probula, where she was ravaged by a band of sex starved half blind mole people.
Forget about writing all of those political books. Nobody wants to hear about Iraq, Iran, or the Arabian nights…tell us more about those aliens.
And, can you picture Bill? You know he’s over there in the corner, salivating at the thought of getting back into the White House. He’s thinking, hot damn! gonna grab me some interns, and head for the “Oral Office.”
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.W. C. Fields…………….
Everything I know about sex and dating I learned from perusing the Craigslist ads.
Don’t get me wrong, I used to have a pretty good idea of how to handle myself, but after twenty years of marriage, I figured I better polish up my dating skills before getting out there again.
Apparently the new ritual is the guy posts a picture of his thingy, along with a catchy slogan like, “I’ve got a really big package for you,” or “Cum take a ride on my rocket.”
If everything measures up the female will respond back with a picture of her “who-ha” or “tit-tats.”
Last time I was in the dating game it took a minimum of three dates to get that far.
But, as they say, everything moves faster in the internet age.

Book Review: Crypto Copywriting Secrets by Ben Settle

I don't know about you, but I'm a sucker for a good book on copywriting.

I just finished reading Crypto Copywriting Secrets by Ben Settle. It's a great book filled with dozens of tips I can't wait to try out in my book descriptions.



Here's a sampling of what's covered in this book -

headlinesleadssales storiesbullet pointsthe closeNow to be honest, I have to tell you, the book is about writing sales letters. But most of it can be easily adapted to writing book descriptions.
I don't want to give too much away, but here are a few tips you can use today...Don't bother writing killer headlines. What you want to do is write something that will get people to read your description.Headlines that ask a question work amazingly well to keep people reading.Bullets are the raw material for use in your description, and then he describes the different types of bullets and how to use them.Finally, you're given two sure ways to close the deal. And, they're surprisingly short, and easy to use.I highly recommend giving it a read.
Here's the new description I penned for my book, Author Bookkeeping Made Easy.
What do you think?

New Sales Tracking Tool for Babelcube Users

Babelcube recently released a sales tracking tool so authors can see how their books are selling on various sites.

To view your book sales, click on the translations tab at the top of Babelcube's home page. In the books being translated section you will see a list of your books. At the far right, there are three tabs for each book. To check your sales, select book sales.



After you click on book sales it will take you to the following screen where it shows you individual sales at each vendor. The default view is the last fifteen days. You can also select the last thirty days, or pick a different date range.