Paul Angone's Blog, page 6

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

Such a simple question that has huge ramifications.

Your “why” is the heart of your motivation. Your why is what other people will connect to — whether in a job interview, blog article, book, podcast, non-profit, or business launch.

Knowing and owning the “why” behind your actions is more important than your actions itself.

As Simon Sinek wrote in Start with Why, “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.”

Yet, all too often we forget our “why”. We lose sight of it. Or we just never knew it in the first place.

Losing your why is like a body trying to operate without a heart.

Why Can’t We Articulate Our Why?

If you’re pursuing a dream, why you’re doing what you’re doing could make or break you.

Forgetting your “why” will leave you directionless. Like standing in the middle of the kitchen, racking your brain as to why you walked in there in the first place.

If you want to do something significant, you must know why it’s significant to you.

Your why is your purpose personified.

So how do you figure out your why?

How to Figure Out Your Why

For most of my twenties I felt like such a failure.

I wanted my life to really mean something, yet I felt lost, frustrated, and crushed under the heavy weight of all the unknowns.

Through this lonely struggle, I found my why —  Empowering my generation, and those leading them, with overwhelming amounts of truth, hope, and hilarity as we inspire and save each other from living a ho-hum “groan up” life.

My why was forged in failure. 

Your why might be birthed from the same place.

Failed plans. Heart-break. Frustration. Set-backs. Unmet expectations.

Rarely is your why birthed in the spotlight. 

When you’ve experienced a pain and frustration so intense, you bring that same intensity to finding a solution.

Because the problem is not theoretical for you. No, the problem has held your head under water and you know the fight that it took to just catch a breath.

Your why is birthed from your unique story and soul values. 

Your why is the soul of your unique signature sauce that gives the world a flavor it desperately needs.

Lose Your Why, Lose Your Motivation.

Your why becomes something you can not, not do.

My why became bigger than me. Bigger than all the no’s I received from publishers and all the setbacks. Because my why was as serious to me as life or death.

Yet, sometimes I still lose the vision of my why. Sometimes I get bogged down in the details and forget why I’m doing what I’m doing.

We have to keep going back to the soul of our motivation, beyond the logistics, the details, making money or acquiring stuff.

Your why is bigger than you.

I know that more fully, especially with a wife and three kids now. My why is also for them.

My four-year-old daughter slipped a drawing into my briefcase. It’s the two of us climbing a mountain.

Man, if that doesn’t keep me going, even when it feels like I’m crawling up that mountain with my finger nails, then what will?

You Must Know and Own Your Why

If your why is at the heart of what you do, the ebbs and flows of the day will not stop you. Sheer success and freaking failure will not keep you from plugging away.

The weight of your why will break off the doubts and fears that try to hold you back. 

Your why will give you the strength to Grit On.

What is your why?

Let us know within the comments on this article. There is no wrong answer. Just give it a shot. Why are you pursuing your dreams? Why are you passionate about something? Why is this thing something you can not, not do.

We connect, inspire, and resonate with others not through what we do, but why we do it.

Why are you doing what you do? Let us know here.

35 Signs You’re Adulting Like a Boss

Adulting: Verb — The process of becoming an adult even when it feels like you’re “All Groan Up” — in-between growing and grown. 

Adulting is harder than it looked on the front of the brochure.

As I wrote in 101 Secrets for Your Twenties —

“The biggest surprise about becoming all grown up that no one ever talks about…adulthood…never…stops.

Becoming an emerging adult is a strange, ambiguous web of decisions and events. You know it’s leading you somewhere important, but for years you can’t quite figure out where that “somewhere” is.

Plus, as author Meg Jay so accurately defined – Your 20s are the defining decade of the rest of your life.

So no pressure whatsoever to do adulting right.

What are some signs you’re actually adulting like a boss?

Through my years of research, soul-searching, and asking the fine community here at All Groan Up, here are the 35 funny and serious signs you’re adulting with the best of them.

35 Signs You’re Adulting Like a Boss

1. You can fail without calling yourself a failure.

You realize that your 20s and 30s aren’t about them going as planned. But how you adapt, change, and grow when they don’t.

2. You understand more references made by your 50-year-old co-worker than your 15-year-old niece. – Abby

3. You love listening to NPR. I mean, it’s talk radio! – David

4. You realize now that you are more than the visible outcome of your work. And the outcome of your work might be more than what is currently visible.

5. Even though you’re still looking for a cure for your quarter life crisis, you’re realizing you’d rather experience a quarter life crisis now than find yourself miserable at middle-age because you avoided asking yourself the hard questions in your 20s. You can see now how your character was being built when everything around you felt like it was crumbling.

6. When your first reaction to finding out a friend is pregnant is “Congratulations!!” instead of “Holy &^%$, what happened!!” ~ Kate

7. “You know now that reckless drinking and reckless flirting have a direct correlation. Friends don’t let friends drive, or flirt, drunk.” – 21 Secrets For Your 20s

8. You start cushioning all vacations with an extra day at home for “recovery time.”

9. You’ve stopped trying to “arrive”. You realize that success is your 20s and 30s is more about setting the table than enjoying the feast.

10. You wish you could go back to your teenage self and take back all the time you wasted watching re-runs of shows like Saved by the Bell. Oh scrap that, Saved by the Bell is never a waste of time! No, wait, yes it is. (Sorry, an adulting inner-struggle going on here…)

11. You utilize your Flex Spending Account because you know what that is now. ~ Kendra

12. “How bad you’re going to feel Sunday morning actually factors into your decisions on Saturday night.” – 17 Signs You’re…gasp…an adult

13. You stop feeling so depressed that you don’t have summers off anymore. Yet, as all your teacher friends post their summer vacation photos for three months straight you might cuss a little under your breathe.

14. You’re working hard to eat healthy and avoid gaining the “cubicle cincuenta“, even if your sole motivation is so you don’t have to keep buying new dress pants.

15. You see a young teenage couple making out and want to go all kinds of dad on that punk kid who is trying to get his fresh on.

16. You find yourself raising an eyebrow at popular teenage fashions because… leopard print skinny jeans? Really? – Abby

17. Silence has become this weird, welcomed breather. Doing the dishes becomes your relaxing getaway.

18. You can actually locate your crock pot because you actually use it.

19. You now understand what your parents meant when they said, ‘You’ll understand when you get older.’

20. As you make big life decisions, you’ve become more comfortable with being uncomfortable. You’re able to move forward without 100% certainty how it’s all going to turn out.

21. You’ve stopped waiting for someone else to make things happen for you.

22. You actually enjoy the work part of your work. You feel like you’ve started to own and hone your Signature Sauce — that unique flavor you bring to the world that no one else can.

23. You’ve stopped networking and have started relationshipping — focusing more on what you can do for other people instead of what they can do for you.

24. You realize now that nostalgia is a liar. There were always problems, nostalgia just avoids talking about them. It’s hard to step into your future if you’re obsessed with trying to re-create your past.

25. You don’t look like any of the negative Millennial stereotypes that older generations try to define you with.

26. You’ve stopped thinking a road-trip is going to solve everything.

27. You begin to thank God for all things he did not give you that you used to complain about. As I wrote in my book All Groan Up:

“God saved my life by not giving me all those “big” things I cried out for. No matter how big my temper tantrum.  I wanted to carry a big worthy cause when the smallest of loads nearly broke my back. The big probably would’ve killed me. I learned that if you’re not secure with less, you will be crushed by more.”

28. You’re losing hair and gaining babies at an alarming rate.

29. When you finally realize that the world does not actually revolve around you. And that realization actually excites and motivates you.

30. Your fridge stops becoming a place where groceries go to die because you’re actually cooking and eating the food in there.

31. You stop waiting for inspiration, and you start fighting for it. The most inspired thing you can do is keep showing up even when completely uninspired.

32. You have a deep desire to read good books again and keep learning.

33. When you realize you can settle for a season without settling. You can work at your job and work at your side-hustle. Your job feeding you while you work at your dream. And your dream feeding you while you work at your job.

34. Facebook goes from being a hobby, to an obsession, to a chore you dread.

35. You stop being controlled by our generations’ OCD — Obsessive Comparison Disorder. You stop wishing you could live their life and start focusing on how to best live yours.

What did I miss? I’d love to hear from you within the comments in this article signs that you’re adulting like a boss.

Someone is Lying to You (and it’s not who you think)

Someone is lying to you right now. No, I’m not talking about Donald Trump.

This Liar knows you.

Knows your insecurities. Knows your doubts and fears better than any. And has probably already fed you some lies already today.

The worst thing is — you probably believed its lies.

Your future hinges on one single thing:  Your ability, or inability, to defeat this Liar.

Please know:

The Liar’s goal is to feed you a bunch of crap that you accept as truth. 
The Liar is playing for keeps.
The Liar means business.
The Liar does not want you to move forward.

And please know:

Your future.
Your goals.
Your family.
Your impact on this world

All depend on your ability to shut the Liar’s mouth. We must do it. Here’s how…

Who’s The Liar? Why does it lie? And how do we stop it?

The self-helpers might call it negative Self-Talk.

The spiritual might call it Satan.

Creatives might call it Resistance.

Whatever you feel comfortable naming it, just know the Liar’s filthy game. Because when you sit down to do your work, the Liar is going to try and stop you.

Whenever you are doing something worth doing, the Liar’s going to attack.  Every. Single. Time.

And it won’t be a full-front assault like an army storming the castle.

No, the Liar is like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings.

Sneaking up next to you, whispering in your ear a soft hiss of lies. Each lie poisoned with just enough truth that only after you take a fews bites do you realize it’s killing you.

As Stephen Pressfield writes in The War of Art,

“Its target is the epicenter of our being: our genius, our soul, the unique and priceless gift we were put on earth to give and that no one else has but us.”

Even as I sit here and write this right now, the Liar is whispering in my ear.

“Who are you to encourage people to stop me?”

“You’re not as creative as ____________. “

“Not as funny as _____________. “

“Not as influential as ________ and especially not __________. “

“Quit now before you embarrass yourself.”

The Liar inflames my Obsessive Comparison Disorder, telling me everyone is doing it better. I don’t have what it takes. And I should just stop. 

Its lies unnerve me.

But I can not let it stop my forward movement.

Neither can you. 

You Can’t Let the Liar Stop You!

As I wrote in Why You Can’t Give Up Now — “Who will you not be able to help if you quit now?”

The world is desperate for your impact. The Liar wants you to believe that you have none. 

Giving the Liar authority to speak truth into your life is as insane as letting a wrecking ball try and build your house.

We each must stop the Liar before he takes too much ground. 

After years of fighting this internal, creative, spiritual battle, here are the best strategies to do it.

3 Strategies on Defeating the Liar

1. Speak Directly to Its Lies with Truth!

Some days when the battle is fierce, I literally speak these phrases out loud.

“Liar, you have not created one single thing in your entire miserable existence. How do you have any right, authority, or credibility to tell me how to do something you are incapable of doing yourself?”

“You destroy. I’m building.

You mock. I’m encouraging.

You critique. I’m creating.”

You fight lies with truth. You tell the Liar who you are. As I wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, 

“Sometimes you have to climb hills and declare the truth of your bright future instead of the reality of your lackluster present.”

You have to war for hope, especially when the Liar is telling you that you have none. 

You have a purpose worth pursuing and you have to keep talk ing about it so you don’t forget.

2. Constantly Remind Yourself that Failure and Embarrassment are a Necessary Part of the Process

The Liar will have us believe that if we try something big, we will fail. 

And the problem here — the Liar is right. At least partially.

If we go for it, we will fail. We have to. That’s part of lifting a weight heavier than you. You tear your muscles so that they can become stronger.

But you see, the Liar wants you to believe that failing is terminal. That failing means you’re a failure.

What a lie.

Failing means you’re finding a more profound way to be successful. 

If you learn from it and find a better way to move forward.

Failing is just perseverance in progress. 

The Liar wants us to believe that somehow our failure will be front-page news. It probably won’t. 

Everyone fails. Everyone trips over their feet on stage. 

“The possibility for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same space. If you’re not willing to be embarrassed, you’re probably not willing to do something great.” – 101 Secrets For Your Twenties 

3. Realizing the Beauty of the Liar’s Game

Here’s the awesome thing about the Liar – when it starts babbling, you know you’re onto something important.

The creative battle only becomes fierce when there’s something you’re actually fighting for. (click to tweet that)

Don’t be surprised when the Liar tries to stop you.

Be excited that you’ve been given confirmation that you’re on the right path. 

But we must make sure to cut its head off before it gets its way like a snake suffocating its prey.

We’ve been given the authority to create and the Liar can’t take that away.

Our calling, our children, and our purpose in this world — all depend on our ability to shut the Liar’s damn mouth.

I’m fired up about this and want to share about 17 more ideas on how to stop the Liar.

Instead, I’d love to hear your thoughts within the comments on this article. Have you felt the Liar try to stop you? 

We need to join forces on this one. It’s that important.

A version of this post appeared as Secret #74 in my book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties. 

The 17 Best College Graduation Gifts for 2017

“College is learning all the techniques and theories on how to dive. Graduation is stepping up to the edge and taking the plunge. The rest of your life is spent learning how to swim.” – 101 Secrets For Your Twenties

Can you believe it’s college graduation season again?

What are the top college graduation gifts for 2017 that can actually be a valuable resource for college graduates, instead of a college graduation gift that they open, faintly smile at, then “accidentally” forget in their dorm room when they move out?

As an author and a college speaker, I love helping college graduates transition well into full-blown, successful, adulthood. Last week, I spoke to seniors at Central Washington University and Seattle Pacific University, and I could feel the mix of excitement and angst as these college students prepare to step out into their unknown future.

As you help the college graduates in your life, what are some college graduation gift ideas that will actually help these students make this huge life transition?

Well, here are what I believe to be the top 17 college graduation gifts for 2017.

Photo Credit: University of Denver Flickr via Compfight cc

Top 17 college graduation gift ideas for 2017

 

1. A Really, Really Good Book

I’m an author specifically focused on helping college grads and 20somethings, so of course a really good book (or five) is going to be my top college graduation gift idea!

And I’ve been honored that my book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties has been one of the top college graduation books on Amazon for the past four years.

I have too many college graduation book recommendations to list here, so I’ll point you to my post on the top 27 books for 20-somethings to give you ideas on the best books to give a college graduate.

2. Mint Budgeting Tool

Not the sexiest of college graduation gifts. And I’m not sure the best way to gift an app, but for my money, and the college graduates, definitely getting them on board with a good budgeting tool like Mint is a must. Plus, it’s free!

3. Laptop Bag

The age of the stuffy briefcase is over! There’s so many different laptop, business bags out there now that will help your college grad land that dream job. This backpack/business laptop bag has good reviews on Amazon and has a good mix of professionalism meets 2017 technology. Or you could snag a good-looking canvas messenger bag like this  one.

Or this satchel bag that’s part leather, part canvas and rated 4.8 out of 5 on Amazon would be a great college graduation gift for either a male or female. Who isn’t a sucker for a good satchel!

4. 39-Piece Cooking Utensil Set 

If they’re a college graduate like I was then they probably won’t own any cooking utensils. Start them off with the cookings basics galore with this complete 39 piece utensil set. Ladles! Peelers! Spatulas! Oh my!

5. Landscape Kitchen Knife Set

Getting 20-somethings excited about cooking is a gift that will never stop giving. So let’s stay in the cooking vein with this knife set that is pretty dang cool! Definitely not as practical as the 39 piece utensil set above, but it’s part art, part let me cook some stuff up. If I had knives this cool in the kitchen, I’d probably be cooking a lot more.

6. Pots and Pans 

My mom gave me a pots and pans set for a college graduation gift that I’m still using! And this pots and pans set is 15 pieces, highly rated, and only $42.99 on Amazon. Holy cannoli. If your college grad makes spaghetti just one night a week instead of eating out, they will save enough money to pay for this set in a few weeks!

7. Voice Bible Translation

Let’s move to some food for the soul with the Voice Bible Translation. No, it’s not a Bible translation done by Adam Levine and Blake Shelton (that would be a thing to behold).

The Voice Bible translation is written more in today’s language that really makes verses come alive. A college graduate is going to need as many timeless truths as they can get. Why not give them a Bible? It’s the all-time best-selling book for a reason.

8. The Space and Grace to Help College Grads Fail Well 

One of the best gifts you can give a college graduate is your support when they go through the highs and lows of their 2os.

Remind them that in your 20s you will fail. A lot. That’s ok. Fail, but don’t call yourself a failure. This inspirational wood art pallet might be the needed reminder they need.

9. A Really, Really Good Movie 

Watching a movie is one thing. Watching a movie that will actually teach you something or inspire you, is a whole other experience. Again, I have too many movie graduation gift recommendations so I’ll point you to the top 35 movies for 20-somethings.

10. Amazon Prime

In 2017, a college graduation gift like Amazon Prime is money well spent. They get free shipping from Amazon and access to all the Prime movies and music. That’s a lot of use from one gift.

11. Luggage Set 

In my first full-time job out of college, I was traveling a ton. Help your college graduate prepare for some days and nights on the road with a durable and fashionable luggage set. If you want to get creative, for her you can go snow leopard luggage or butterfly print suitcases.

Or for him you can go Kenneth Cole Reverb luggage set or sleek

Samsonite hard shell.

12. Amazon Kindle Unlimited or Audible Subscription

If you can’t decide what book to give your college grad, why not give them a subscription so they can access all the kindle books or audio books they want. Help your college grad stay a hungry, humble learner because the most important thing you can know when you leave college is how much you don’t.

13. Old-school College Grad Mixed Tape 

Why not? You can’t beat an old-school mixed tape. Need some song ideas to throw on there? Here’s a list of the top 14 college graduation songs over the last 40 years.

14. The Echo

Want to go new-school? Try the Echo. What exactly does the Echo do? Well, what does it not do? Control your music, lights, alarms, and even read those Audible books.

15. New Macbook Pro 

Want to completely win college graduation? Want to put all the other college graduation gifts to shame? Want to instantly become the favorite aunt, uncle, or parent — forever? Go big time with the new Macbook Pro. I live on my Macbook Pro and have loved the update to the newest version. Nowadays work can be done everywhere. Give your college graduate a leg up with one of the best work tools of the 21st century.

16. Helping Your Grad Ask the Right Questions

I’m becoming more and more convinced that success in your 20s is not about having the answers, but about asking the right questions.

Help the 20-something in your life navigate the big life questions that happen on the other side of college graduation. Need some help on what to ask? Check out the top 11 questions every 20-something needs to ask or 9 questions every 20-something needs to ask about their career.

17. Sharing Your Story – Struggles and Failures Included

Think back to your story. To the fears, anxieties, excitements, and questions you had in your 20s. Be willing to share your story with your college grad. But not just the successful parts.

We don’t connect over our pretend perfection. We connect over our shared struggle.

Be willing to be vulnerable and let the 20-something in your life know that they’re not alone. That’s a gift that will never stop giving.

Your 20s are tough. They’re supposed to be. Success in your 20s is more about setting the table than enjoying the feast. Help your college grad set the table well.

Any other ideas as to what should be a best graduation gifts for 2017? I’d love to hear your ideas within the comments on this article. 

Some of the links in this article are affiliate links. So if you purchase these college graduation gifts through the links above, you’re also supporting the work here at All Groan Up. Thank you!

What Pepsi Got Wrong About Marketing to Millennials

Surely you’ve seen or heard about Pepsi’s recent ad, which quickly became the case study for marketing to Millennials gone terribly wrong.

I’ll quickly sum up Pepsi’s marketing fiasco for anyone that has been away from the Internet these last few weeks. (Seriously, kudos to you. I’m sure your life was much better for it).

Pepsi’s ad is a sexy, protest-themed short-film clearly aimed at Millennials, with protestors marching down a street holding edgy signs up like “Join the Conversation,” (a conversation about Pepsi being “totes fabs”, I guess?).

Those who weren’t carrying signs were fist-bumping away. Or even carrying a cello, in case there was an opportunity for a fever-pitched music collaboration possibility mid-march (which of course there was!).

Then the leader of the protest march emerges- “oppressed and downtrodden” Kendall Jenner (sarcasm intended as she is one of the Kardashians. And yes, this Millennial has no idea why or how she is a Kardashian. Or why or how Kardashians is a thing in the first place).

Anyway, Kendall Jenner becomes the leader of this protest-march thing, that Stephen Colbert hypothesized “as clearly a march for ‘Attractive Lives Matter.'”

And when the march reaches the line of police officers, with tension rising to Final Jeopardy levels, Kendall heroically hands the police officer a Pepsi, which he drinks, and everyone parties, because “Pepsi is the best! Whomever disagrees is justified to their opinion…can we please all hug!” 

Pepsi was looking to start a movement, which they did – the Internet and Millennials joining forces in their hatred towards Pepsi.

Luckily for Pepsi, United Airlines charged in this week and told Pepsi, “Hold my drink, we got this!”

How did Pepsi Get Horribly Marketing to Millennials so Terribly Right?

I can just see the marketing/creative branding team now, pumping each other up with each swig of Pepsi and new idea, as they checked off another “Millennial” box.

✔ Millennial Angst

✔ Millennial Protest

✔ Good Looking Millennials

✔ Millennials Doing Creative Things Like Photography and Cello-Playing

✔ A Kardashian!

✔ Pepsi saving the world.

This is a sure-fire, surely we’ll never be fired, ad!

Sarcasm aside and logic included, here’s what Pepsi got wrong about marketing to Millennials.

1. Sexy “Millennial” marketing campaigns are the worst

Dear Company, don’t create a sexy “Millennial” marketing campaign.

Instead of reaching Millennials, 99% of the time this is how your Millennial marketing campaign comes off:

✔ Pandering

✔ Patronizing

✔ a Pile of Complete BS

Millennials have been marketed (and lied to) their whole lives at great lengths by big companies.

Therefore, Millennials’ marketing BS radar is fine-tuned.

Companies want this silver bullet Millennial marketing strategy. Like if they use a marketing mix of snapchat, GIFs, and celebrity spokespeople, they will have all us Millennials flocking to their product like raccoons to an open trashcan. 

Yet, most of the time that sure-fire Millennial marketing campaign falls completely flat.

Or even worse, it’s offensive to Millennials and creates the exact opposite effect with Millennials running as far away as possible from your.

Adweek described Pepsi’s ad as a “tone-deaf debacle.” 

Millennial marketing campaigns feel so sleazily inauthentic. Millennials can see right through them. And Millennials will call your BS to the entire Internet.

2. Companies trying to be hip and cool feels like exactly that…

Companies trying to be hip and cool feels like a company trying to be hip and cool.

Not a recipe for an authentic connection and conversation.

As I stated in a Bloomberg article on the ways companies have failed to market to Millennials, sexy Millennial marketing campaigns are like “your parents trying to connect with you and they’re trying to do it by using the same language that your friends would. Talking in emojis, for instance, comes off as pandering and inauthentic.”

In a company’s attempt to be completely relevant, it merely comes off as completely dishonest. 

As Eric Thomas described in his article How to Make Millennials Hate You, the Pepsi Way — “This is what happens when you don’t have enough people in leadership that reflect the cultures that you represent.”

3. Millennials are not this one-size-fits-all marketing block

The stereotypes and over-hyped generalizations of Millennials drive me insane.

Marketing companies need to throw out the word “Millennial” all together. Because whatever they’ve defined “Millennial” to be is not what this generation is aspiring to become.

There’s no such thing as Millennials. At least, not how it is being stereotyped.

As I wrote in my book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties,

“Why do we think we can sum up an entire generation with a simple label like a box of Wheat Thins?”

Generations would work much better together and connect at a deeper level if we stopped looking at each other as different “generations” and started comparing our questions, struggles, fears, and dreams.

We all struggle. Let’s share with each other the secrets to being successful in our 20s. Not demean and define each other as shallow stereotypes.

Because this picture below from “The Late Show” is exactly how these marketing stereotypes comes across.

4. It’s tough to enter into a serious conversation with something completely absurd

Millennials are facing real challenges.

It’s never a wise marketing strategy to speak to those problems with something completely ridiculous (aka Pepsi as the answer to Millennial unrest).

And if you think us “whiny Millennials” are over-acting to Pepsi’s ad, check out the still frame of heroic Kendall Jenner ripping her whig off to join the protest and throwing it to her assistant.

C’mon, that’s bad. At least the reaction from her assistant perfectly foreshadowed the reaction to come.

Mocking the real problems Millennials are facing doesn’t seem like a strategic marketing strategy to me.

Yet, all too often I see ad campaigns speaking about Millennials like we’re a complete joke. It’s like the company can’t help itself.

Millennials, we want you to buy our stuff! Oh, and by the way Millennials we think you’re ridiculous and we kind of hate you! But please Like our Facebook page and scan this QR code…” 

A Millennial Marketing Strategy That Will Never Get Old

Tell an honest story.

Share something real and true.

Don’t pander.

Don’t patronize.

Don’t let a sexy consulting company sell you on a sexy “Millennial” ad campaign.

Be an authentic expression of your company that is true to who you are. That’s a sure-fire “Millennial” marketing strategy that will never get old.

Feel lost in your 20s? That’s wonderful!

 

I feel so lost. 

I hear this phrase a lot. And typically it gets me really excited!

No, I haven’t been drinking. Or at least, not any more than normal. 

You see, I’ll be at a speaking engagement and someone will come up to me afterwards and say, “I have no idea where I’m going in life or what I’m doing. I want a clear path to go down, but instead I feel completely lost. 

Who can blame us for feeling directionless? With some major challenges facing Millennials, there’s a lot to feel lost about in your 20s.

Right when it was Millennials turn to grab hold of the “American Dream” it was exploding right in our face.

For years in my 20s I felt lost too. As I wrote in my book All Groan Up:

“For years I wanted a dove to fly down with a scroll in its beak and drop it into my hand, tipping its little dove hat and saying, “Good day, sir,” like a friendly 1950s mailman. I’d open the scroll and read God’s handwritten, detailed map showing my step-by-step progression for the next fifty years.

Someone must have shot that dove because I still haven’t seen it.”

Now when someone tells me they feel lost, I tell them, “That’s amazing. I’m so glad you feel lost!”

Because as I wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties,

“Being lost might be the exact spot that you will be found.”

You can’t explore if you don’t first get lost

I think as a generation we want to find our purpose.

We want to do something that means something.

We want our life and work to matter.

Yet, we subconsciously expect the path to our purpose to be straight-forward. We want to walk down a well-lit path with a cascading waterfall clearly in view from the start. At least, that was me in my early 20s.

If we can’t handle ambiguity in life, we won’t do anything great.

We have to get lost if we want to explore.

Sure, it might feel like you’re going through a quarter life crisis.

But maybe feeling lost is a healthy, important part of going through a transition.

Exploring and being lost are pretty much the same thing.

All explorers have to first get lost. (click to tweet that)

That’s a big part of the job description. 

The biggest difference with just being lost and exploring is that explorers get lost on purpose with purpose for a purpose. 

Explorers have a general sense where they’re going. They have guides to help them along the way.

They’re not out there all alone.

Yet, the exact destination and how they’re going to get there is completely unknown.

Explorers don’t follow a map, they make the map as they go. 

Mind-Exploding Lostness

For many of us, this concept of being at peace while feeling lost is a complete mind-explosion. It definitely was for me in my 20s.

Because we grow up with clear, concise instructions on how to be successful.

We’re given the syllabus at the start of class.

We have a college counselor lay out the next four years for us to graduate with honors.

Yet, Groan Up life is messy, full of zig-zags, start-overs, and “what were you thinking?“

The path to your purpose is rarely straight-forward.

The only way you’ll find a clear direction is by first allowing yourself to get lost.

6 Important Things That Happen to Us When Feel Lost

 

1. When you’re off-trail, your creativity is put to the test.

When you have to blaze the trail, you have to get creative.

Your genius is stoked when you’re forced to actually use it.

Your creativity grows because you’re forced to use it.

2. There’s a bit of healthy danger that makes your senses come alive

When you’re off-trail, your senses are functioning at a higher level.

You’re hearing more.

Seeing more.

Smelling, tasting, and touching in a way you can’t, and won’t, do when you’re on a familiar path.

You take more in because you have to.

Sure you’re afraid, but you move forward anyway.

You move forward in spite of the fear, and then the next time it’s a little less frightening.

3. You’re ready and capable of experiencing life’s unexpected surprises

You can’t be surprised if you see everything clearly laid out in front of you.

4. You don’t get the right answers. You get the right questions.

Succeeding in Groan Up life is not about always finding the right answers. It’s about asking the right questions. And when you’re lost in your 20s, you have no answers.

When you’re lost you’re ready to ask good questions because your life depends on it.

5. As you explore new territory, you find new parts of yourself

Character is rarely developed sitting at a luxury resort.

If you’re surrounded by every resource imaginable why would you go searching for anything beyond?

Your character is being built when everything around you feels like it’s crumbling.

Humility. Perseverance. Faith. Insight. Context. These aren’t refined and defined when everything in your 20s makes complete sense.

When you don’t know where you’re going, you understand more about where you came from.

Ambiguity in life stokes clarity in character. (click to tweet that)

6. Your purpose is found in the struggle

Purpose is rarely honed in the clear-cut. We don’t find our purpose in spite of the struggle, we find it smack dab in the middle of it.

It’s Really Important that You Don’t Always See “The Path”

As I look back at my 20s, I realize now that God didn’t hide the blueprint to my future because he was uncaring to my prayers.

God hid the blueprint it would take to hone my purpose so that my purpose could actually happen.

As I wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties,

Thank God He didn’t show me the syllabus for my 20s.

If He would’ve showed me all the assignments my 20s were going to entail, I would’ve been crushed by it. I would’ve dropped this whole decade like a calculus class and never returned.

God gives us what we can handle, and sometimes that means not giving us the exact thing we cry out for the most.

God keeps our purpose in tact by not letting us see what it’s going to take to get there.

Do you feel lost? Congrats. You’re officially exploring.

Take one step. Then another. You can’t see what’s up around the bend until you get there.

And hey, I’m here to help along the journey. Because you’re not alone in this.

I promise.

I’m a few steps ahead. I’ll wave you forward. I’ll warn you of the dangers. And I’ll keep encouraging you every step of the way.

When it feels like you want to turn back, remember — The most exciting part of any journey is when you go off trail. (click to tweet that)

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you within the comments on this article on allgroanup.com.

Taxes are the Most Amazing Thing in the World, Right?

This post is sponsored by 1040.com. All views expressed are my own. 

“Taxes are my favorite!” – said no one ever

Newly married, still sparkling with that honeymoon sheen, my wife and I were thrust into full-fledged, Groan Up life — doing our joint taxes together.

Doing taxes together should be a required part of pre-marital counseling. If you can crush your taxes together before it crushes you, you’re already winning.

My wife and I had no clue where to even start.

Thankfully (or so we thought) an accountant from our church invited us to his office to give us some of his wise, taxing, counsel.

For an hour, he looked through our statements. He used all kinds of official tax lingo as I nodded and smiled like I knew what he was talking about.

After one of the longest hours of my Groan Up life, we left his office, more confused than when we started.

He told us that he thought our refund would be $230. Then two weeks later, we got a nice gift in the mail from him — a $250 bill for his “free” consulting services!

Welcome to taxes! Welcome to Groan Up life! Here’s a cup of black coffee filled with coffee grounds. Gulp it down and don’t ask questions! 

Death and Taxes. Sounds about right

Let’s be honest — is there anything worse than death and taxes? Yes, I know something worse! The ANXIETY I get thinking about death and taxes.

Nothing screams becoming All Groan Up more than taxes. Just saying the word “taxes” feels like I’m cursing.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little dramatic, especially since none of us have to sit in that stuffy accountants office ever again. And by doing our taxes now, we can actually help change the world.

Let me explain…

Here are the 4 most significant Groan Up inventions in the past 10 years.

Wrinkle Free Dress Shirts
Netflix
Google Maps (oh I’m old enough to remember being 10 minutes late for a work appointment, consulting an actual paper map in one hand while making wild U-turns with the other)
Online Tax Software

Seriously, online tax software is the best. Not using one is like buying a car, then removing the windshield wipers because you want to go old-school.

And for my money, and sanity, 1040.com is quickly rising as one my favorite online tax softwares around. It’s easy to use. It’s free to file or at a very low cost. And then here’s the best part that got me really excited about 1040.com, when you file your taxes with them they donate money to Healing Waters, a non-profit with a mission to bring safe water to anyone in need.

Last year alone, 1040.com helped give 2.6 million gallons of clean water through people just doing there taxes! Even if filing your taxes is free, they still donate money to Healing Waters. And today is World Water Day, so a great day for all of us to be doing something, no matter how big or small, about the global water crisis.

Doing your taxes, which has been typically compared with death, can now help bring others life.

I love that about the age we are living in, where “the way it’s always been” is quickly becoming “how can this be done better?”

Where the worst of “Groan  Up” life doesn’t have to be the worst anymore — if we’re willing to intentionally make choices to find a better way.

Let’s review.

Doing your taxes was the worst.

Doing your taxes doesn’t have to be the worst now.

And if you do your taxes with 1040.com, you can help bring clean water to someone in need.

Groan Up life is getting better all the time.

To Settle or Not to Settle?

This is our generations’ greatest question.

Heck, I’d say SETTLING is Millennials GREATEST FEAR – the thought of settling giving us nightmares. Like the time we watched Stephen King’s IT and slept with the nightlight until we were fourteen. (I still can’t look a clown in the eye).

The FEAR OF SETTLING

We’re the, I Can Do Anything, Get the Freak Out of My Way, Generation. We are the, I’ll-work-how-I-want, when-I-want, where-I-want, Generation.

Yet, what happens when our way becomes no way in hell?

What happens when Plan A is shredded like an old tax statement?

What happens when you’re working, well, just to work? You know, to pay those silly things called bills.

What happens when moving in with your parents, or a cardboard box, becomes your only two options?

What happens when it feels like you have two choices — to settle or not to settle? 

The fear of settling swirling in your stomach like a blender turned on high, the expectations of the big life you envisioned pureed like a jar of baby food.

Yet, is to settle or not to settle actually the right question?

To Settle or Not to Settle?

Is That the Right Question?

Well, what is settling?

Is it taking a job just to pay the bills? Is it moving in with your parents? Is it some external setback?

Well, no, I don’t think so.

Our generation must not confuse setbacks for settling.

Sure many in our Millennial Generation might not be acting out our greatest dreams right now.

But we can settle for a season without settling.

Too many of us view pursuing our dream as this black and white proposition. Either we go for it or we let our dream die.

Yet, in reality those who are successful pursue their big dream, while at the same time, work their all-too-real job.

As I wrote in my book All Groan Up: Searching For Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job!:

You work at your job to feed you while you work at your dream. And you work at your dream to feed you while you work at your job.”

Setbacks Can Have Purpose

Dreams don’t happen void of setbacks, dreams happen as you push through a thousand of them.

Setbacks aren’t dream-killers, they are dream-refiners. (click to tweet that)

As I wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, “Sometimes frustration can be the best guide to leading you where you need to go.”

They only time you’ll really settle is if you completely give up. If you let your dreams be suffocated by your current reality and believe too many lies that twenty-somethings have bought into.

However, if I know our generation, I don’t see us throwing in the towel anytime soon.

Sure maybe we’ve joined forces with a not-so-glamorous life. Maybe we’re not going to be a feature article in our alumni magazine anytime soon.

But I think our generations most important characteristic is that we have the ability to stay optimistic, even when the world turns quite depressing.

So if it feels like you’re not where you want to be in life — that’s okay.

You can settle for a season without settling. You’re not settling. You’re visiting. This is a season, a stage, the perfect place in time to help us take a step to the next.

Life will never feel like it’s supposed to and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. 

To settle or not to settle? It’s not the right question.

Want to Write a Book? The Best Place to Start is NOT Where You Think

I often describe writing a book as one of the worst, and best things, to happen to me.

Best — because writing a book forces you to sit and put words on a page that describe something important to you for others to read.

Worst — well, writing a book forces you to sit and put words down that describe something important to you for others to read.

Writing a book will make you come alive — and kill you, sometimes on the same page.

Yet, I still think everyone should write a book.

There is no better way to reach people in an impactful way. No better way to stretch yourself and your ideas. No better way to create a permanent object that will increase your credibility and influence.

Great, so how do you go about writing a book?

Having published two books, with two more in the works, I often have people reach out to ask me how to do it.

It took me about eight years to write (plus re-write x20) and get a book published. I definitely learned the hard way how to do it.

And most importantly, how NOT to write and publish a book.

There’s a terror, trepidation, and exhilaration throughout the entire book writing process. And then when you finish the book and you’re ready to take a vacation, the real work begins — trying to get a publisher to publish it and/or trying to compel people to actually buy it.

Okay, but let’s not overwhelm ourselves! Easier said than done, right?

While there’s so many different pieces to writing, editing and publishing a book, here’s the best strategy I can give anyone (whether you want to self-publish or pursue a traditional publisher) on where and how to start writing a book.

The biggest piece of advice to start writing a book…don’t start by writing a book. Let me explain.

Biggest piece of advice to writing and publishing a book

If you want to write a book don’t start by writing a book. Start by writing a blog.

By far, this is the single best strategy to writing and publishing a book that I could give you.

Whether you’re already an active blogger or you’d rather not touch one with a 50-foot pole, I’ve got some tips for you why writing a blog is so important for every kind of author.

Even if you don’t want to publish a book, but just grow your credibility on any topic, a blog is a wonderful idea.

And I learned this truth the hard way.

Over a decade ago, I started writing a book by, you know, writing a book.

Oh how wrong I was and how much time I wasted. It took me about five years of spinning my wheels trying to write a book and get it published. To only start over from scratch and begin working at creating my blog.

Starting a blog, and writing regularly on it, is the best way for you to write a book for so many different reasons — whether you want to self publish a book someday or attract a traditional publisher.

7 Reasons Why You Need a Blog to Write a Book


Blogging hones your voice and writing ability

Writing a blog makes you a better and more strategic writer.

When you blog, you see what really resonates with people. Because you’re getting realtime feedback. From social media shares and blog comments you’re getting to see what’s working. And not working. You start learning to write crisper and more to the point.

Because in the blog world you have about two seconds to attract someone’s attention, so you learn very quickly there’s a lot to learn.

You get to see what topics take off and what topics are a dud.

To put it in business terms, by blogging you are market-testing your ideas.

Instead of locking yourself away for two years, trying to write a book and then figuring out it’s not working. You can see what’s working in a day.

Blogging is experimenting with your ideas in small beta-tests. You learn from it, you write again, but better this time than the last.

2. Many different blog posts you write might then become parts of your book. 

Blogs aren’t just written and then disappear into the Internet abyss. The best stuff from your blogs can become a part of your book later on.

Many different books out there are 50% blogs they writer has already published that they’ve then repurposed for their book. Most publishers don’t mind putting the stuff that has already proven to really work into the book. Actually, they sometimes prefer it.

3. Blogging helps you build an audience that likes your writing. 

This point is huge whether you want to self-publish or snag a traditional publisher. Because one way or another, you’re going to want an audience who wants to buy your book when it comes out.

Marketing and selling a book is not easy. I’ve heard statistics that 95% of all books sell less than 3,000 copies over their entire lifetime. With the average American book selling 500 copies total (Publishers Weekly).

By blogging, you’re actively building trust and credibility with your audience. You’re becoming a voice they value. When you finally publish that book, it’s hopefully something they want to read.

This is true for writing fiction or non-fiction. Same principle applies. There’s even movie blockbusters like The Martian, which started as self-published blog posts released online.

4. Blogging helps you build a platform that publishers want to see in order to publish your book. 

If you want to attract those big wigs at a big ol’ publisher, your platform size is all they are really going to care about.

Platform size is basically the combination of your email subscribers, social media followers, and basically the reach your current writing has.

In the publishing world, platform size is king.

As I wrote in the 3 UnSpoken Secrets for Getting Published for The Write Practice:

“At a publishing house, editorial can, and will, be out-voted.”

Meaning, there’s a department at the publishing house that cares about the content of the book. Then there’s two other departments, sales and marketing, that are going to mainly care how they are going to sell and market the book.

The majority of people looking at your book at the publisher won’t even look at your actual book. 

They won’t really look at the content, they will merely look at your platform size.

This is the cold, hard, publishing truth to publishing a book that I learned the hard way. For two years, I had every single publisher turn me down for my book All Groan Up: Searching For Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job! Sure some turned it down because they didn’t like it.

But a few publishers told me they thought it was a great book. They loved my voice, content, and they thought the book could be a best-seller.

But…they couldn’t take a risk on an unknown author with no platform size. 

Cue the long walk on a pier in the fog to sad saxophone music. 

It was a wild, fun piece of redemption when the publisher that turned me down three different times, ended up publishing All Groan Up years later. And they didn’t even realize they had turned it down before.

5. Honestly, nowadays you can’t really even get an agent to get your book in front of publishers without a sizable platform.

Most often, you need to snag a literary agent to even get your book in front of publishers. And you can’t get a good agent if you don’t have a good platform size.

Because an agent knows the game. They know that your book doesn’t have a great chance getting published, if you don’t have a platform. Thus, they only have so much time for so many books, thus they can’t take on your project.

6. By blogging and building your own platform, you might not even need a literary agent.

Going back to my story, I was somehow able to snag an agent, but every publisher said I needed a bigger platform. So after years of rejection and failure, I ended my relationship with my agent and started my blog All Groan Up.

Then I had the blog 21 Secrets For Your 20s go crazy viral, which directly led to my first book deal — 101 Secrets For Your Twenties. A fellow blogger introduced me to the acquisition editor at the publisher and because of my growing platform, they offered me a book deal, without a literary agent.

All my book deals have been without literary agents since then. I think agents can be great and offer value in different ways, but I’ve enjoyed building relationships with the publishers myself instead of an agent doing it for me.

7. By blogging, you build relationships with fellow bloggers and writers

This a beautiful bonus of blogging. You build relationships with people who share your same passion.

I can’t tell you how valuable and important these relationship will be. To encourage you, inspire you, and connect each other to each other’s audiences.

And the stronger your blog looks, the more momentum you have going, the more influencers you will be able to connect with. Like I mentioned, my first book deal came through a viral blog and relationship with a fellow blogger.

I love that many different people today that I call real.life.friends started as blogger friends.

Start Your Book by Starting a Blog

Wheww…that was a lot of information, but hopefully I’ve shown you of the value of starting a blog to write a book.

I give all this advice to you not because I’m trying to now sell you something. I’m giving it to you purely because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.

If you have a blog going, but are looking for advice on making your blog sizzle and shine, let me know and I’ll maybe do a follow up post on how to create a blog people will want to read.

The world needs your story. The world needs the hope you bring.

There are no gatekeepers now who are holding you back. No one is keeping you from sharing your words with the world.

Don’t wait for the perfect time. Don’t wait for the perfect message. Then you’ll wait forever.

Start writing. Start a blog. Then watch that spark grow…

Have anything to add? I’d love to hear from you within the comments on this article.

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7 Myths About Marriage

Marriage and Valentines Day are pretty similar — a place where high expectations slam into sheer disappointment. At least for way too many of us.

Why is that?

Well, in the case of marriage it’s like driving a car. Even if you’re in the front seat, it doesn’t mean you understand what’s going on under the hood.

We all have ideas of what a healthy marriage should be, but I’d argue some of these expectations are unhealthy myths. It’s these myths about marriage that mess marriage up before it even happens.

If you can de-construct these myths about marriage, it will help you make a wiser choice on whom to marry. And even do marriage better once you say “I Do.”

Myth #1 – Married People Know What They’re Doing

In my single days, I’d go to a wedding and think, “Wow, there’s two people who have it all figured it out.”

Then I got married and realized pretty quickly that I didn’t have a clue.

For a while, marriage will feel like you’re playing “House”.

There’s no textbook for husband and wife, no matter what new bestselling book tries to convince you otherwise.

Marriage doesn’t just define you, you also define it.

If it feels like you’re playing House, it’s because there should be healthy amounts of exploration, creativity, and unknowns in marriage. That’s normal.

You grow into growing up as your roots grow deeper together.

Marriage doesn’t happen at your wedding. Marriage develops slowly during the thousands of days thereafter.

Anyone can have a great wedding. It takes commitment, character, faithfulness, and humility to make a great marriage.

Myth #2 – Marriage is Work

There’s a lot of “marriage is work” talk being thrown around these days.

Sure, marriage is not simple. But be careful believing marriage is work. This feels to me like marriage is this 8-5 drudgery where every day you’re punching your time card. Because for most of us we can’t wait to leave work.

Metaphors are powerful. Be careful what you’re comparing your marriage to because that very well might dictate your marriage.

You will have to work at elements of your marriage, but marriage is not work. 

Marriage is play. Marriage is an adventure. Marriage is a partnership. Marriage is a creative incubator.

Create marriage metaphors that bring life, not drudgery. Whether your dating or married, what do you want your relationship metaphor to be?

Marriage is the metaphor that you make it. 

Myth #3 – Your Spouse is your Best Friend

Don’t force your spouse to be your best friend.

Yes, I do believe your spouse should be the closest friend you’ve ever had. If friendship isn’t your foundation, when those first waves hit, your relationship’s sexy wall décor will be floating out to sea.

Yet, many of us are determined to make our spouse our best friend, which really means trying to mold and mash our spouse into acting the way we think a best friend should be.

Keep your best friends your best friends.

Make the friendship with your spouse into an elite category of its own. Not solely based on your perspective and previous experience of what a friend should be, but on what works for both of you.

Stop trying to re-print with your partner what you think a best friend looks like and start painting a new picture together.

“Your wife might not tell jokes like your college roommate did. Your husband might not talk for hours into the night like your best friend from home. That’s all right. Like drinking wine or a cup of coffee, they both might taste delicious, but each will have an entirely different flavor.” – 101 Secrets For Your Twenties

Bonus Secret About Marriage: You only get weirder as you get older. If you can’t stand each other’s quirks now, you’ll be sleeping in different rooms later.

Myth #4 – Marriage Completes You

If you’re looking for a relationship to complete you, you will consistently feel very lacking.

Your spouse is not God, magic genie, or unicorn with wish-granting abilities. Your spouse is human.

If you’re putting unrealistic mythical expectations on your relationship, it might end up more Greek tragedy than romantic comedy.

A good relationship should not complete you. No, it should inspire you daily to work on your incompleteness. (click to tweet that)

My wife can’t complete me and I don’t put that heavy expectation on her. But my wife does give me the encouragement and strength to strive to be better. Every day.

My wife gives me complete peace while I continually work on my incompleteness.

Bonus Dating Tip: As I wrote in 15 Questions Every Twentysomething Should Ask When Dating, “is the person you’re dating like a magnet trying to bring the best of you to the surface? Or are they trying to bury you under a pile of dirt? A spouse should be like a proficient gold miner, able to go beyond the surface to uncover the invaluable stuff underneath.”

Myth #5 – Whom you choose to marry is the most important choice you’ll ever make.

Choosing your spouse is extremely important. Choosing your spouse every day after the wedding is even more so.

There are so many moments throughout the day when you have a choice to choose your spouse. Or not.

When you have a computer in front of you. When you start flirting with that co-worker. When you just consistently choose to stay at work a little later every night.

Love is more an intentional choice than a tingly feeling. ( click to tweet )

Marriages don’t fall apart because of one big compromise. They fall apart due to a thousand small ones. Like a windshield crack, the longer you drive on without addressing the issue, the more shattered your relationship will become.

Bonus Relationship Question: Do the fights in your relationship have a point? Or are they just jaggedly pointed, jabbing each other over and over in the same tender spot? Stop focusing on the weeds on the surface and start digging up and removing the real problems.

Myth #6 – Marriage is a One-Time Thing

One of my mentors loves saying that he’s been married seven times to the same woman.

I never understood what he meant when I was single. Now, I get it.

Marriage is not static.  It’s not a one-size fits all pair of jeans that will always wear the exact same. Your relationship will change because people change.

In marriage, you have to be willing to re-adjust and re-commit to new seasons. Sometimes that change is screaming in your face (aka a newborn). And sometimes the change is more subtle and nuanced. It could be a promotion, a death, new life, or a new city.

We have to adapt and grow as people, and so do our relationships.

The conditions in your marriage may change, but your commitment should not.

Myth #7 – You Need Affirmation That Your Marriage is on the Right Track

Yes, I do think you need wise mentors in your life who are able to speak life into your marriage.

However, you need to be careful who you’re giving permission to speak into your marriage. Those words can breathe life into your marriage. Or death, depending on who they are coming from.

Your marriage is your marriage.

Be careful who you’re receiving marriage advice from. I’ve met too many jacked up couples who are not even trying to work on their stuff who love giving other people marriage advice.

While it’s great to get input, advice, and wisdom from healthy people, you can’t be constantly measuring your marriage by what other people think about your marriage, even especially from your own family.

Your family is going to have their opinions on how to do marriage, raise kids, have a career – basically anything to do with living.

Be secure enough in your marriage not to run to everyone with your insecurities.

Sure if there’s something really unhealthy going on in your marriage, talk to someone you trust about it.

Yet, choose wisely who you are going to allow to speak into your marriage. If you’re listening to the wrong voices telling you where to turn, your marriage might end up on the side of the road before you even make it out of your honeymoon.

I’d love to hear what you think about these marriage myths within the comments on this article. 

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