M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 91

Crossing the Bridges: Self Promotion vs Narcissism

There is a fine line between narcissism and self-promotion.

The former is when absolutely everything is all about YOU, and in no way beneficial to anyone else.  A narcissist practically screams, “Look at me! LOOK AT ME!  See the things I am doing?  Pay attention to me!”

The latter is somewhat about you, but it is also about sharing.  There is some benefit for other people.  A self-promoter says, “Hey, I did this thing.  Please take a look at it.  See what I did?  I want to share it with you and please share it with YOUR friends!”

The difficulty here is in working on being a self-promoter while NOT being a narcissist.  I want to work to further myself and my writing and get my name out there, but I am not looking necessarily to put myself out there, because my writing is not all about me.

Whether it is the blogs or the fiction, I write and share because I think what I am saying could be beneficial to others.  In the case of the blogs, this is about sharing situations and ideas that I am pretty certain I am not alone in having.  In the case of the fiction it’s about sharing fun and imaginative worlds, and providing the reader with distraction, entertainment and even some deeper ideas.

While I have my 9-5 day job, I also want to make more of my writing.  I have three posts a week going to my blog, plus the first year of Pathwalking and my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.  Additionally, the first two books of my YA Fantasy series The Source Chronicles, the first book of my Steampunk series The Vapor Rogues, and a standalone homage to Paulo Coelho called Vortex Pilgrimage.

Because I am self-published, I am my own sales and marketing department.  This means that it’s entirely up to me to promote myself.

Now if you know me personally, you know that I can be loud, talkative, sometimes boisterous and (at least I think) funny.  I am also a good listener, and a pretty decent public speaker.  Even the Myers-Briggs test calls me an extrovert (ENTP).

The funny thing is, I am actually rather introverted.  I spend a lot of time inside my own head.  Recently I’ve seen some memes on Facebook about being an Ambivert (both introvert AND extrovert), which is a pretty good description of me.  Because you see – deep down, I am almost painfully shy.

If you know me, you are probably laughing at that.  I don’t SEEM all that shy, do I?  But put me in a room full of strangers and either watch as I gravitate towards ANYONE I know, or a corner I can people-watch but not engage from.

Amidst these feelings I am working on self-promoting.  Bad enough I am shyer than most people realize, but I also fear being perceived as a narcissist.  I don’t want to cross that line, because, to be completely blunt, narcissists are really annoying.

It’s one thing to occasionally put the link to all my works on Amazon, and to post to Facebook, Twitter and G+ when I publish my blog posts. The next step is to find local places like bookstores, libraries and coffee shops where I can go and do readings, signings and sales to promote myself.

This presents me with two problems.  I can research and find suitable options.  The challenge is calling them to find out if I can do a reading/signing/sales, and then actually DOING the reading/signing/sales.

Why is calling a challenge?  A lovely combination of my shyness, and some fear of rejection.  Also I am not always comfortable reaching out to people I do not know (again, see shyness).  The actual reading/signing/sales is not so bad, once I get going I will be fine.

I know there are other ways to promote myself out there.  Guest blogging, finding podcasts to work with, teaching classes/workshops on Pathwalking, maybe even starting my own podcast.  I know that if I want to take my writing to the next level I have to break through my comfort zone, and going beyond social media and physically putting myself out there is the nest step I need to take.

I figured out some time ago that being a best-selling author is my ultimate goal.  I have a LOT of novels in my head that aren’t done yet, some in the works, and several that are complete and need to be edited before publishing.   I also think my work would make pretty cool film or TV.

I believe that I can take it further.  I can further promote myself to do this, and it is not an act of narcissism to do so.

I want to live large.  I want to go big.  My goal is to be a best-selling author, and to do that I need to promote myself further, put myself and my works out there and ultimately sell more.  Since I am my own publisher, it’s all on me to do what I can.  Self-promotion is not narcissism.  I can do this.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, and thanks for all your support.  Stay tuned.

Thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

Pathwalking 250

Decide to decide.

I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have found myself at some crossroads or other because I refused to decide to decide.

Decision making is only challenging if you choose for it to be so.

For a lot of my life, I was the King of Indecision.  I totally should have bought myself a crown.

When I made the decision to take action for the New Year, nearly five years ago now, it wasn’t just lip service or a soft, easily neglected resolution.  I chose an action, and I took it.  I made a plan, I spelled it out, and I acted upon it.

Creating and maintaining Pathwalking has been one of the best things I have ever done for my life.  I continue to share my journey because, despite bumps and twists and turns and changes of direction along the way, I continue to learn and grow and find more happiness in the life I want to live.

When I was younger, I tended to fear that if I made the wrong decision, I would regret it.  What if I chose to commit to her, and someone better comes along?  What if I move here, but I get a job offer there?  What if I take this job, when I should have taken that job?  And so on and so forth.

As such, I frequently chose not to decide.  I would hmmmm and haw for a while, and then either make no clear decision at all, or wait until the decision was somehow made for me.

I know there are people in this life who do well letting others decide for them.  Or simply going with the flow and not having to choose between many different things.  If you can have and be happy in that sort of life, more power to you.

Because I decided on more than one occasion not to decide, I sometimes have wondered just what I missed out on.  No regrets, per se, just considering the things I could have done but didn’t because I made no choice or didn’t reach a clear decision.

The thing of it is, by-and-large, no decision is permanent.  No decision is so utterly cast in the soul of the universe it cannot be changed.  Of course there are exceptions to this rule.  When you decided to leap off a cliff you can’t reverse the dive.  But apart from that, most decisions, even after they are made, can be altered.

Why does it matter if you decide to decide?  Because no path that is chosen will be tread upon if you don’t decide to traverse it.  I can think about, research, and map out numerous paths for myself.  But until I decide to decide upon a path, it’s nothing more than an idea, and there is no action.

This was why I decided to make New Year’s Actions rather than resolutions.  Resolving is an idea, but acting is a powerful decision.  I can resolve to lose thirty pounds of excess weight all I want.  Until I alter my diet and change my exercise routine or an act combining these plans, all it can be is an idea without purchase.

When we take action, we have generally reached a decision.  We have decided that this thing will happen, and so we act to make it so.

Manifestation, I am frequently pointing out, comes from a combination of thought, feeling and action.  If all I do is think about something but don’t feel it out and act upon it, I go nowhere.  Even if I think about it and feel it out, without action, I am still probably going nowhere.  When I act upon my thoughts and feelings, a decision has been made, and manifestation will be the end result.

It never occurred to me before that decision and action really are one.  Thinking about losing weight then feeling what it will be like to be lighter are all well and good, but until I have decided to take action to make this happen, I will remain exactly where I already am.

I still oftentimes neglect to make a decision.  I still will look at my options, and waffle between whatever they are, rather than acting upon them and deciding.  Recognizing this tendency in myself, and wanting to effect change in my life, I will consider that when next I might be feeling indecisive about a thing.

We all can choose paths for ourselves.  We all have nearly infinite choices of paths for our lives.  The thing is, we need to decide that we want to walk them for ourselves, rather than allow others to choose for us.

It’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes I will decide wrong.  First, this is perfectly normal.  We all make bad decisions.  The key is that I am deciding.

Even when the decision is wrong, action has been taken.  Now I have the opportunity for a new action, a new decision is made, and I move on.

Life changes.  We change.  That is how nature runs its course.  The thing is, we can decided if we want to curl up in a ball, wish everything remained as it was and await death; or we can just let it happen around us, and not choose for ourselves but just see where the current takes us; or we can grab the wheel and steer this life where and how we want it.

Sometimes not deciding is still a decision…just not a terribly solid one.

Think.  Feel.  Act.  In action, there is decision.  Decision is the difference between choosing and not choosing the lives we most desire to lead.

What decisions do you need to make that you might not be?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 40:

Diet:  Still going well.

Exercise: Fencing happened three days last week, and I got to the gym twice.

Writing:  One day of writing, plus the three blogs

Meditation:  I meditated four days, for a minimum of at least 6 minutes.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for five of seven days last week.

 

This is the two-hundred fiftieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Changing Habits

Habits can be changed.

What is a habit?  A habit is a thing you do regularly, to the point where it is almost involuntary.  You just do it, hardly thinking about it.  It is your way.

Some habits are neutral, like bathing and napping and using the blinker in your car to signal lane changes.  Some are good, like holding doors for people, changing empty toilet paper rolls and picking up litter.  Some are bad, like smoking or always interrupting other people, or throwing a tantrum when you don’t get what you want.

Any habit you have, though, can be changed.  So if you find that you have a habitual manner that makes you feel bad, or useless, or worthless, or whatever negative feeling it produces – it can be changed.

We often gloss completely over our habits.  These things just are.  Part of our nature.  Things we do on a regular basis.  But when we want to change ourselves, often it is our habits where the process should begin.

Many frequently refer to themselves as creatures of habit.  We develop patters in our day to day activities that get so deeply ingrained in us that they become our habits.  We simply do these things, because they are what we do.  And when it comes time for us to make a change, more often than not a habit is where that change should begin.

How do we identify our habits, and then how do we change them?  First, we have to recognize the things we do by rote, the things that we just…do.  Little to no thought happens, we just do them.

Personal example – I get up in the morning, make coffee, read through social media sites and play some Facebook games.  This has been how I have started my morning for a number of years now.  It’s my habit, this is my pre-work morning routine.

Habit identified – I spend an hour or so online, I have the games I play and read through social media sites while I drink coffee.  This is not necessarily a bad habit, but it is an unproductive one I feel is no longer serving me.

How do I change this habit?  By doing something completely different.  I will get up in the morning, and I will go to the gym.  Instead of an hour online and playing games, I will spend an hour at the gym, improving upon my health and wellbeing.

This is a somewhat drastic change in habit.  It will be a challenge because it will further effect the rest of my activities for the day.  But I know that changing this habit will make me feel better, kickstart my day, get my blood flowing and build a ton of positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that habits can be neutral, positive or negative, we can identify habits that don’t serve us and/or bad habits, and change them out for good ones.  When we take actions and change habits that don’t serve us in order to make improvements in our lives, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred forty-first entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Crossing the Bridges: Life in Multiple Worlds

I feel as if I live in multiple worlds sometimes.

See if this is familiar for you in any way.

First, there is Professional Me.  I hold a job, I pay my bills, I do the necessary things one does to live in this society.  I also happen to be involved in civics, as I serve as President of a local Chamber of Commerce.

Second, there is Author Me.  I keep this blog, I write and edit novels.  I constantly dream up new and interesting worlds.  Then I strive to write them out.  Then I work on ways to promote and increase sales of my works.

Third, there is Medieval Me.  As much as playing in the SCA is a hobby, it still manages to occupy a large amount of my time.  Fortunately, it’s mostly weekends, save fencing practices.  Also, I will be taking on a new office soon that will require my attention.

Fourth, there is Social/antisocial Me.  Sometimes my friends and I get together to hang out, do crafty things, play games and such.  Further, I enjoy spending time with my spouse, watching TV or movies, goofing off online, going to the gym, meditating and reading.

Striking a balance between living in these worlds can be somewhat challenging.

I will be the first to confess that I have not always been the most organized person.  Despite being a Virgo, I tend not to make and keep lists, or place regular entries on my calendar and such.  So coordinating my worlds and giving them each necessary time can be tricky.

So I think the important question here is – how do I value my time?  I live in all four of these worlds, but I can only be in one place at one time, and certain things will take priority over other things.  I need to spend time in all four of these worlds, but how often and how much is something that I can quantify.

I tend to be awake from about 6am – 12,12:30am.  Yes, I know that means I generally sleep less than 6 hours a night, it works, thanks for asking.  Anyhow, this means I have about 18 hours a day to live in all these worlds.

Some of my time is non-negotiable.  For example, Professional Me.  I have to work 8.5 hours a day, Monday-Friday.  I also need to give a few hours to Chamber business a week and sometimes to my old job as well.  That’s a rather large chunk of my day.

This leaves me with about 6-8 hours a day I can use for my other three worlds.  Knowing this, how do I currently use that time?  What are my habits?  Are they good habits or bad?  If bad, can I improve upon them?

Right now I have a rather regular pattern.  I am going to focus on weekdays for the time being.  I get up in the morning, and usually go online and goof off.  I check my e mails, read posts on Twitter and G+, read posts and play a couple games on Facebook as well.  Sometimes I write one of the blog posts, or work on fiction.  Then I usually make breakfast and prep lunch.  Shower and go to work.  This is a 2 to 2.5 hour routine.  Then I am at work for the next 8.5 hours.

After work I either go to the gym or go home, though anywhere from one to three days a week Medieval Me goes to a fencing practice.  Generally after that I either spend an hour or two doing whatever, maybe engaging Author Me, or I simply go to bed.

This means I have from 1 to 6 hours for Social/antisocial Me and Author Me.  Frequently these two worlds duel with one another.  I want to give more time to Author Me, but sometimes I lack the necessary focus for this.  Then the best intentions leave me feeling as if I wasted more time than I should have on Social/antisocial Me.

As I analyze my patterns and the habits they’ve created, It appears to me that I need some new patterns and habits.  Author Me seems to be getting the least amount of time, and Social/antisocial Me too much.  Since I have stated frequently that I want to further Author Me, I need to give that world more time.

It is time to interrupt my pattern and change my habits.  And I have a plan to make this happen.

My spouse wants to hit the gym in the morning.  Both she and I are working to be healthier.  As a means to encourage one another in this endeavor, I intend to join her.  This means getting to work about a half hour earlier.  Since I cannot leave earlier, that means I take a longer lunch break.  This presents me with an opportunity to devote specific time, daily, to Author Me.

Why am I even writing about all this here?  Because in recognizing established habits in my day, I also can see those that don’t build more of what I want.  Social/antisocial Me needs time, that’s for sure…but he doesn’t need quite as much of my time as I am giving him.  Maybe, by making better use of my time and creating a new and healthier habit, I can build a bigger, better and greater life and balance of my worlds.

This is part and parcel with creating bridges between my worlds.  Let’s see what this does for me as I step across them.

Thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

Pathwalking 249

How do you want to feel?

This is an important question I do not think we ask of ourselves enough.  Not only do we not ask of ourselves, How do I feel?  But neither do we ask, How do I want to feel?

It is easy to forget that when all is said and done, I and I alone am responsible for how I feel.  Period.

Whether or not I feel good or bad, happy or sad, anxious or excited, frustrated or stimulated, I am the only one who can feel what I am feeling as I am feeling it, and I am the only one who can decide if I want to feel it.

Despite this, we still readily believe that others have the power to affect our feelings. You make me so mad; that crazy politician enrages me; you’ve made me happier than I ever thought possible; you make me feel joy and so on and so forth.  While others can most certainly influence the way we feel, they are unable to make us feel anything at all.

It all falls upon each of us individually.  Nobody but me makes me feel happy, sad, anxious, tense, excited and so on.  If I am feeling contented, that is what I am experiencing for myself.  If I am feeling anxious, that is not because someone else placed that feeling upon me, it is simply my current emotional state of being.

We live all-too-frequently in this residual experience.  Because we often neglect to simply live in the now, we are a product of who we were then, whether then is minutes, hours, days or even years ago.  Often right now what we are feeling about ourselves is a residual matter based on the past.

If you don’t believe me, let me illuminate the concept for you.  At some point in the past let’s say you went to your mom and dad to ask for more allowance money.  Let’s say that not only did they say no, they also yelled at you for not keeping your room clean.  Fast forward years later to your first job.  You think you are deserving, and go ask the boss for a raise.  Not only does he say no, he yells at you about a project that isn’t even yours, but gives you no chance to get a word in edgewise, and denies you.

Today you woke up feeling anxious.  The butterflies are making your stomach queasy, and you are feeling completely off.  Today is the day your current boss is having that meeting with you, and that promotion and subsequent pay raise are on the line.  Given the previously mentioned past events, why do you think you are feeling this anxiety?  Is it really about today’s situation, or is it based on your past experiences?

When we are able to recognize this for what it is, we can begin to ask How do I want to feel? of ourselves.  We can see that the feelings we are having, if they do not suit us, can be changed, if we make the choice to change them.

This, however, can be a very difficult process.  Most of us are so used to simply having the feelings we are having and rolling with them that the notion of taking ahold of and actively CHANGING them seems rather foreign.

It certainly feels easier to give the power of how we’ve been made to feel over to others, rather than to take control for ourselves.  Part of this is because it feels easier to place blame than to take responsibility.  Part of this is that believing we can be in control of our own feelings at any time is an alien concept.

How do you get hold and take control of how you are feeling?  That’s part of the challenge.  For me, the process works best with the following steps

Ask – How am I feeling? Get clear on the specific emotion(s) I am experiencing at this moment.
Ask – How do I want to feel? Usually if I am feeling negative, I would prefer to feel positive.
Quiet my mind – I need to reflect on what has brought me to this state, in order to adjust it. This could take just a moment’s pause, or may require a longer meditation.
Release – Rather than hold onto the emotion I do not want, I have to take an action to release it. Wave it goodbye, thank it for protecting me, visualize it sinking into the ground or flying away; some sort of mental action needs to occur to achieve release.
Take action – I choose the emotion I would prefer to feel, and take some sort of action to replace what I don’t want.  That action could be a brisk walk, a brief cry, a primal scream, singing a song, finding something that makes me laugh, etc.  Action is absolutely necessary to drive any change.

Important note: This is NOT a surefire means to an end.  This is the process I work to employ, and it may not work for you.  However, any attempt you do make to take hold of and control your feelings will require some combination of thought, feeling and action.

Everything we want to manifest requires a mix of thought, feeling and action.  We have the gift of these complex emotions, but with it we have the empowerment to be in control of them for ourselves.  Take that into consideration the next time you are not feeling as you might wish to feel.

How do you want to feel?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 39:

Diet:  I continue to mostly avoid sugar, and I am still working at portioning.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, and I got to the gym once and shot archery.

Writing:  Three days of writing.

Meditation:  I meditated five days, for a minimum of at least 5 minutes.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for four of seven days last week.

 

This is the two-hundred forty-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Words Matter

Words matter.

What that means is that what you write or say can have an impact, positive or negative.  Do you build or destroy with your words?  Inspire or terrorize?  Spew love or hate?  Give or take?

People often forget just how important the words we use are.  Sometimes we fear the power of certain words and phrases, but neglect that there are always options.

There are more than 200,000 words in the English dictionary, when you include the obsolete words some people won’t let die.  New words and slang words and words in other languages and such also exist, so the choices are many.  There are words for nearly everything, at least on the surface.

I know that there are feelings that are difficult to put words to.  There are plenty of words that have multiple meanings as well, so that just adds another layer of complexity.  That is why words are so very important.

The thing is, we sometimes pay little heed to the words we are using.  We often throw away a word here or there, and while we may attach nothing to it, because of the complexities of language we shift an intent or emotion or even a whole situation to something other than what we thought.  That is why words matter, and we should choose with more care than we frequently use.

Why?  Because when there is a big, overwhelming negative situation, adding on to it with our own negativity makes it grow.  Something vast and overwhelming only gets more vast and overwhelming the more we give it focus, attention, and support.

When your friend posts to Facebook about that terrible awful thing, and you agree it’s terrible and awful, you are actually empowering it further.  So rather than simply agree about this terrible awful thing, change the tone.  Yeah, that’s terrible and awful, so let’s leave it there and instead look at this delightful pleasing thing.  Use your words not to further the negativity, but rather to encourage positivity.

No, we can’t just ignore bad things and walk around in rose-colored glasses, but we can choose whether to dwell on and empower the negativity, or instead release and seek positivity.  I don’t know anyone who truly enjoys feeling miserable, so why do we not use the power of our words to find more ways to feel good?

Words matter.  Consider the power of what you put out there and what words you use to express your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that words matter as they do, we can choose more consciously what words we use to express ourselves.  When we employ our words more thoughtfully, we gain control over how we want to think, feel and act, and of course as such we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred fortieth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Crossing the Bridges: Introduction

I am something of a modern Renaissance Man.

First and foremost, I am a writer.

Almost five years ago I began Pathwalking.  This is my personal philosophy on how to choose my own destiny, so that I might live the life I most desire to have.

I started Positivity more than two-and-a-half years ago.  One Monday morning all I saw was lamentation for the new week, and a deluge of negative posts across social media.  So I decided that I needed to share some positivity, and it became a weekly post to this blog.

Both Pathwalking and Positivity are personal.  I write and share these because I need to explore how to walk my own path in this life, and because I need to remind myself to keep more positive than negative.  They are a labor of love, and I continue to compose them because like many things in life, this is an ongoing process.

I wrote my first fifty page, illustrated sci-fi book when I was 9.  It has been followed by numerous other stories and novels along the way.  In 1998, I began what would become my Young Adult/Fantasy epic, The Source Chronicles.  Now, eighteen years later, I have chosen to self-publish Book 1, Seeker, Book 2, Finder, and have completed but not-yet edited Book 3, Harbinger.  The primary series will be five books total.

I sought an agent to represent me for a long, long time.  With new technologies abounding, I decided it was time to self-publish.  In addition to The Source Chronicles, I began a Steampunk series called The Vapor Rogues.  Clouds of Authority  – A Vapor Rogues Novel is the first, and Clouds of Destiny, the second, is finished but needs to be edited.

I have also self-published several other works.  The first year of Pathwalking, my very short Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better, and an homage to Paulo Coelho, a fiction novelette called Vortex Pilgrimage.

Currently I am working on a sci-fi space opera.  My love of sci-fi and fantasy began with Star Wars when I was five, and I have long wanted to compose my own space epic.  I still have no title for it, however.

I have two very distinct identities as a writer.  My first love, the sci-fi/fantasy/fiction world, and my more recent love of the holistic, self-actualization/self-help world.  For a long time I have viewed these as separate, but equal aspects of myself.  What I have been having difficulty in reconciling, however, is bridging them.  I do not need to be two separate people – I am the writer at the center of all this.

I have some previous experience with this idea.  I have been doing Medieval reenactment for twenty-five years now with the Society for Creative Anachronism.  In the SCA I have a different name to go with my late 16th Century persona than my “mundane” self.  For many years my SCAdian persona and my real self were different, until I concluded they should not be, and merged them into one.

As a writer I have created a 3rd persona for myself.  MJ Blehart is an author with young adult/fantasy novels and stories, Steampunk, fiction, self-help, philosophy, holisitic ideas, magazine and internet journalism stories all under my belt.

That is a lot of different and varied things I have written.  I’m not even getting into work I have done professionally for web content, business development, advertising and press releases.

As such, I see myself as having two distinct categories of work; fiction and non-fiction.

Most authors can be defined by writing in one category or the other.  Fiction writers write fiction, non-fiction writers write non-fiction.  This has been bothering me for a while, since I am writing both.  Should I have created another identity, one for fiction and one for non-fiction?

As I have begun recently to work with a coach, one thing I have started to analyze is that two of the writers who most inspire me, Neil Gaiman and Paulo Coelho, also branch between fiction and non-fiction.  They both blog and Tweet frequently, and they both are absolutely brilliant authors.  So if they can do it, why can’t I?

This weekly blog will explore my circumnavigation of these two broad, different categories, and my work within them.  Additionally, I will likely intersperse thoughts on my involvement with the SCA, as well as other professional commitments I have going on.

Why am I sharing this?  Because I know I am not alone in trying to figure this life out.  Everyone strives to know themselves better, and to be the best person they can be.  As I struggle with this process, maybe when I share what I am doing it will inspire you, or at least help you not make similar mistakes and missteps along the way.

Thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

Pathwalking 248

Everything is energy.

At its core, in its simplest, most elegant form every single thing you can see, touch, taste, and smell is energy.  Every one of us, no matter our skin color, ethnicity, gender or other chosen identifier is energy.

The earth, the sun, the other planets in the solar system and everything, absolutely everything, is comprised of energy.  Both science and spirituality agree on this point, though they might use different phraseology to explain it.

Since every single thing in the universe is made of energy, that means that every single thing in the universe is vibrating at one frequency or another.  While there are probably infinite frequencies imaginable, still many things will vibrate at like frequencies, and as the Law of Attraction will tell you, like attracts like.  Those things will vibrate towards one another.

We are energy.  Because we are energy, we are vibrating at a frequency.  These frequencies ebb and flow and change, as pure energy ebbs and flows and changes.  Because of our unique consciousness, we humans are capable of recognizing our vibrating energy, and we are able as such to consciously change it.

One of the challenges of this, however, is due to the Law of Attraction.  Because human nature craves acceptance, companionship, and connection we tend to attune ourselves to other people out there.  Unconsciously, we will change our frequency and attune it to others who vibrate as we do.

This is how we get mob mentality.  When a group of people are all vibrating at the same frequency, that energy gains power.  Think of it like this.  If your car is in a parking lot and your radio is tuned to a specific station at a reasonable volume, that’s one thing.  But if every single radio of every car in the lot attunes to the same frequency, the volume will increase.  Instead of one reasonable source of that frequency, there are now many, so the overall volume will go up.

This is why people inadvertently will wind up in “the wrong place at the wrong time”.  They have unconsciously tuned in to the same frequency, which might happen to be a bad frequency.  Because of this they are swept up in the energetic current, and things happen.

Energy doesn’t care if you are male or female, wise or wicked, full of love or full of hate.  Energy in its most pure form is utterly and completely neutral.  It just is.  It cannot be created nor destroyed, it just exists in whatever form it has taken.  Eventually it will transmute to another form.

When we realize that we can consciously create our own reality, we have taken control of the radio, so-to-speak.  We can choose whether we want to tune it into NPR, or the local Rock station, or just listen to the static of unused frequencies.  We make the effort not to unconsciously attune to the random frequencies of those around us, and instead choose for ourselves of our own accord.

Pathwalking is about recognizing that we can choose what frequencies to vibrate at.  And yes, I do use the plural because we are not static creatures with static frequencies.  We often would like to think that we are.  We find moments that we want to stretch on and on for as long as we can….but they will change, because energy is always changing.

It is easy to get caught up in the massive energies groups can produce.  All you have to do is watch or read the news.  Between terrorists creating chaos, a surreal Presidential election, epic corporate greed and everything else of that nature being reported on, it’s really really easy to tune into that frequency.  As such it’s all too easy to get angry, indignant, even enraged by what is happening out there.  But like all the cars in the same lot tuning their radios to the same station, we cause the volume of those things to increase, and as such gain momentum.

To some people this idea may seem like utter bull.  Nobody wants to create bad things for themselves, or for the world at large.  That’s true, but energy in its most pure form has no desire, is neither good nor bad, it only takes the forms we assign it.  If we all focus on something negative, we get more of it because we’ve raised the volume, despite not consciously choosing to do so.

I know that we are all busy.  We all have our obligations, our jobs and families and time committed to various and sundry things.  But if we take just a minute here and there throughout our day, and consciously consider what we are thinking and feeling, and how we are acting, we can change our frequency to something we desire.

Because we all have things to do, it is unbelievably easy to let our subconscious drive the bus.  We go with the flow, we do the thing.  We get up go to work or school, go home, veg in front of the TV or online for several hours, go to bed, rinse, repeat.  It’s really easy to lose ourselves in the patterns of our day-to-day, but if we fall too deep into our subconscious, when we become dissatisfied it can be a greater effort to consciously take the wheel.

If, like me, you want to walk a path of your own choosing, it’s important to recognize that your energy flow needs to be addressed.  Simply asking yourself “how am I feeling”, or “what am I thinking”, or even “what am I doing” from time to time will bring your attention to conscious creation.  I’m fairly surprised by how seldom I ask this of myself, and yet it’s vitally important to getting control over my energy, and allowing me to consciously create the reality I want.

Last but not least, we need to acknowledge that we cannot control anyone else’s energy.  We can influence it, certainly, but we cannot direct it or otherwise control it.  It’s not like being the passenger in the car, where you can reach to the stereo and change the frequency even if you’re not driving.  Each and every one of us is able to tune our own frequency, though our individual frequencies sometimes do align with one another.

Consciousness creates reality.  What frequencies do you want to tune in to?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 38:

Diet:  I continue to mostly avoid sugar, and I am doing better with portioning.

Exercise: Fencing happened three days last week, and I got to the gym three days.

Writing:  Four days of writing.

Meditation:  I meditated every day but one last week, for a minimum of at least 4 minutes.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for six of seven days last week.

 

This is the two-hundred forty-eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Unconditional Love

I love you.

Doesn’t matter who you are, it does not matter how I know you.  I love you.  I love you for your humanity, for your intelligence, for your strength, for your weaknesses, for your heart and soul.  I love you for being.

Why are we so very frightened to say these words?  When did the notion of love become so complicated?  Why is love broken down into so many subdivisions and categories and so full of stipulations and conditions?

The Universe runs on love.  Love builds and grows and develops everything.  If you believe in God or any form of higher power, love is nearly always the means by which he/she/they shape and grow the universe, our world, everything.

Yet these three words, this simple concept has become diluted, complicated, given parameters and divisions to such a degree that we fear these words.  We don’t share love readily and freely and we instead choose to close off and live in fear and negativity.

Many people will point to the ways in which they have been hurt by love.  But love in its purest form is nothing but joy.  The love that hurts is our human construct, and the levels and layers we have placed upon love.

The animal kingdom understands love at its core.  Love is the open field.  Love is the moon rising.  Love is the rain.  Love is the prey they stalk.  Love is the freedom of the flight of the birds.  Love is life.

Because love has gotten so many subdivisions and stigmas attached to it, we choose to live more in fear than in love.  Does that make any sense to anyone?  Why do we prefer to be afraid, and worse to spread fear, when what we all want is love.

Love is waking up in the morning.  Love is friendship.  Love is the purr of a cat.  Love is the words on the page.  Love is the ultimate joy, the ultimate positivity in this world.

Consider this before you share that meme on Facebook, Twitter of G+.  Think about this before you spread fear in regards to that awful situation, person, place, or thing.  Remember that all of us want to love and be loved, and love is only a complicated idea because we have chosen to make it so.  Think about saying I love you/that/this instead of expressing your fear, disgust, sadness and hatred for, to or at them/him/her/that/this.

I love you.  Warts and all.  Doesn’t that feel good to read?

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that love is only a complex idea because we make it so, we can seek out and more frequently express love in its more pure, simplest forms.  When we give love freely, without conditions and expectations, we open ourselves up to receive more love, and of course with love ultimately we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred thirty-ninth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 247

Life is only as complicated as we choose to make it.

Last week I began to explore the many ways we move far away from the relatively simple things we actually want for our lives.  For most people, these include finding love, peace, joy and feeling good.  Previously I postulated that as children we instinctively understand this, but as we grow and develop we start to add layers and steps and these things get complicated.

What are some ways in which we can simplify these things again?  I have some thoughts on this, but they are a little scattered, so please bear with me.

Let’s talk about love.  Love is quite probably one of the most infuriating, ludicrous, surreal concepts we know.  When we were children love was simple.  As adults, it is this multi-faceted, layered, nuanced thing that frequently makes little to no sense.

The thing of it is, love is not more complicated than it was when we were children.  We have simply added complexities to it.  When we stop and look at the sky, or play with a dog or cat, or listen to the laughter of children, or participate in that activity that makes us lose all track of time and place, that is love in its most pure, most simple form.

It is really important to note that EVERYBODY deserves love.  And more than that, YOU are lovable.  You are completely and fully deserving of love, end of story.

For a lot of people that’s a REALLY hard concept to wrap your head around.  You’ve had terrible relationships along the way, you’ve been scorned or been accused of scorning someone, you’ve given love but it was not returned.  That’s the key right there.  You gave love.  Even when it is not returned in kind, the act is there, and that’s really huge.

Love is not something to be feared.  Love in its most pure form is energy, and we in our most pure form are energy.  Everything in the universe at its core is energy.  When we see this for what it is, we can more easily feel it in the everyday.  It is not the grandiose stuff of romance and passion, it is the simplicity of the sunrise, the flowers blooming, the birds in flight.

That’s far too simple to be realistic.  Is it?  Children and animals give love freely because it really is that simple.  The labels and layers are entirely our own creation.  When we recognize that, we can begin to work with love more easily on that simpler level.

Peace?  We can find peace when we take more time to just simply breathe.  How often do we wake up late, run around the house getting everything we need for the day together, fight traffic on the way to work, put out all the fires at our job, come home and do chores and then see the day has gone?

Find a moment to take a deep breath.  A purposeful, deep, cleansing breath.  Let it out.  Do it again.  This can take less than a minute, but this simple act can be so utterly calming and peaceful it can completely reshape a moment, or even a whole day.

We we need to better self-care.  What does that mean?  We all get so caught up in our responsibilities and needs and requirements and duties and such that we frequently let ourselves go.  We eat like crap, neglect exercise and put on flab, we don’t give ourselves time to read or meditate, we push and never just allow time to stop.

When we find peace we find joy.  Joy is also a simple idea.  It is not a vacation, or a day off work, or fantastic sex with a lover, though joy is found in all these things.  Joy is the simple act of allowing ourselves peace, and to simply appreciate art and beauty and the people around us.

All of this is about ways to make ourselves feel good.  Because we love to complicate this concept, we frequently neglect how many little things can and do make us feel good.  Because we find ourselves looking for the grandiose ideas, we do not allow ourselves to feel good from the simple things.

Examples include eating tasty food, reading a good book, playing a video game, watching a movie, meditating, being with friends and loved ones.  Rather than get caught up in all the complicated variations and multi-faceted aspects of this, we need to allow ourselves to just feel good about the tiny, seemingly minute bits that occur every day.

We understood this as children, and we got lost in playing outside or coloring or running around or whatever activity we were doing.   Remembering some of that, we can begin to see again that these things still make us feel good.

There is no one true way to do this.  But we can all pause when we begin to over-think, over-analyze, and consider the complicated notions of love, peace, joy and things that make us feel good.  We can seek the simpler, uncomplicated ideas out, and allow ourselves to accept them and that its more than ok to enjoy them.

In Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, he wrote about the alchemical idea of the Emerald Tablet.  To all intents and purposes, the meaning of life, the universe and everything was written on an emerald.  Not a giant emerald, either.  And yet those who wish to study alchemy to turn lead into gold and to create the elixir of life write out codes and complex formulas in order to understand something mind-numbingly simple.  The main character of the story studies the world around him, and learns that the secret to this is knowing our own hearts, our own minds, our own souls.  If you’ve never read this book, I cannot recommend it enough.

My point is, however, that we do not need to give so much energy to complicating our lives.  The happier, simpler time has nothing to do with a period in history, it has to do with childhood and the uncomplicated notions of love, peace, joy and feeling good.  When we accept that for what it is, we can work to accept that feeling good can be mind-numbingly simple if we let it be.

What simple things make you feel good?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 37:

Diet:  Improving.  I continue to mostly avoid sugar, and I am doing better with portioning.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, and I got to the gym twice and did archery.

Writing:  One day of writing.  Still working to improve on this.

Meditation:  I meditated every day last week, for a minimum of at least 4 minutes.

Gratitude: I wrote five things I was grateful for every day last week.

 

This is the two-hundred forty-seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.