Clare Macnaughton's Blog, page 44

Hanging Out The Washing

Is spring finally here? It feels late to me and we are supposed to be on the cusp of summer. The good news is that I have finally turned the heating off, especially after an astronomical winter electricity bill, nobody is allowed to switch the lights on and we are all sat in the dark. Only joking – I allow one lightbulb only! The best thing about the clemency of the improved weather is that we can finally put the washing on the line. This means we don’t have to use the very expensive tumble dryer for the clothes. There is, of course, always the aga but it’s a slow drying process and not as effective as either the energy draining tumble dryer or the line. As energy prices rise and the greedy fat cats at the energy companies hold us all to ransom like the villainous, Vilos Cohaagen in Paul Verheoven’s fabulous film Total Recall, which I love, it makes me crave self sufficiency even more – we have so many resources untapped and we are being screwed to the ground by the ever increasing cost of living. *thinkity, thinking – how?*

At the very least I can dry our laundry for free when the weather is smiling upon us. The best thing about sky dried linen is the bedding – duvet covers, pillow case, sheets all freshly laundered and breeze blown dried. There is something fine about snuggling down into freshly washed, air dried sheets. The fresh bed change is one of life’s simple gifts. I love it when I have changed my bed sheets and I can snuggle down into crisp, line dried linen from the line. These little moments when life is stressful, frenetic, even uncertain, can bring simple joy and pleasure and pure heavenly escapism.

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WORLD EXCLUSIVE Budgens of Codford St Mary First Shop To Sell My New Book

WORLD EXCLUSIVE Budgens Codford, Wiltshire selling A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline #book

Breaking News!!

Budgens of Codford St Mary, Wiltshire have secured the worldwide exclusive retail deal on my latest book

New Road Service Station

High Street

Codford

Wiltshire

BA12 0NS

Tel. 01985 850345

It’s so exciting!! Brendan Smith, the proprietor and I used to train at swimming club together when I was 8 years old. Although at that time, I wouldn’t actually speak to him as he was well old and I was way too shy! Anyway, he has a taken a huge leap of faith and agreed to sell it in his shop!! He has even read some of it!! (I can now barely look him in the eye without blushing)

I love it when Wessex Old School and Team Warmo come together to make things happen.

SO now I have an actual shop with tills and lovely, gorgeous girls behind them selling my book – hurrah!!! Get yourself down to Budgens and grab a copy!!

And if you don’t live locally then you can always get one here.

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Please vote from me – Shortlist for Brit Mums Brilliance in Blogging Awards – INNOVATE

The BritMums team have just told me I have been shortlisted for a BiB. Hurrah! 

The shortlist is made up of 16 blogs, 11 represent the top nominated blogs and another 5 chosen by the BritMums team for their excellence in each area.

What happens next?

Having been nominated and shortlisted – the next stage is voting.

Votes open on Monday 22nd April until May 12th and the Survey Monkey has been created to allow one vote per person. Only 6 finalists will go through from the 16, (4 with the top votes and 2 chosen by BritMums).

To vote for me click on the badge on the top right hand corner of my blog – it looks like this!

The finalists will be announced on 22nd May.

Don’t delay vote for me today!!! Puhleeeeeeese – love ya!! xxx

PS: I went to Brit Mums LIVE last year – read all about it here - http://amodernmilitarymother.com/mother/brit-mums-live-trollied

 

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Sweet Baby Shower Theme

If you’ve been given the task of throwing a baby shower in honour of a good friend, or have taken it upon yourself to plan one as a surprise, you might be feeling a little overwhelmed at where to start right now.

As a traditionally American phenomenon, that’s fairly new to the UK, you may not have even attended a baby shower previously, let alone planned one!

Once you’ve got the guest list and the gift list sorted (if guests ask for suggestions, the cutest baby shoes, baby clothes and essential toiletries are all usually very well received by mums to be. Or why not consider clubbing together to purchase a larger item?) you’ll need to decide upon a theme. Once you’ve chosen a theme, everything else – food, drink, games, decorations – will fall into place. But what to choose?

Afternoon Tea

The trend for afternoon tea is still going strong, and is perfectly suited to a baby shower. It’s also super simple to do, and will look fantastic. You can buy disposable party wear with a vintage floral theme, as well as sweet bunting, paper chains, paper doilies and more, for a perfectly co-ordinated table. Food wise, simply serve dainty sandwiches, scones and cakes with lashings of tea served from proper teapots. If you’re planning on baking some cupcakes yourself, purchase a Vintage Rose Cupcake Set to make it easy!

Super Cute

Throwing a baby shower is a fabulous excuse to go OTT on the cute factor. As well as the obvious pastel pinks and baby blues, a quick search online will throw up some super cute themes that are ideal for unisex showers where the sex of the baby is still a secret. At PartyDelights.co.uk you’ll find rocking horse, turtle, duck, ladybird and bumblebee tableware – and more!

Specialist party websites make it easy to completely co-ordinate every aspect of the shower. For the Mr Turtle theme, for example, you’ll find personalised invites, table confetti, tableware, cupcake making kits, table centrepieces, balloons, decorations and favour bags – and ideas to fill them!

Why not also theme your gift by making a nappy cake in colours that co-ordinate with the theme? You’ll find everything that you need at ASDA – including nappies, baby toiletries, blankets, clothes and cute baby shoes to pop on top – without having to spend a fortune

Modern Mummy

Alternatively, not all mums to be are keen on the cutesy look. If you’re throwing a shower for a thoroughly modern mum, choose from classy spot and stripe themes, or maybe some trendy animal print with the Wild Safari Range?

 

Whatever theme you go for, no baby shower is complete without a few games to break the ice and get everyone chatting and having fun. You’ll find cute baby bingo games, baby themed trivia cards and even baby shower piñatas (to fill with posh individually wrapped chocs – Lindt are a good choice!) online.

The aim is to give the mum to be, and your dear friend, a baby shower to remember for all the right reasons, so choose a theme that you think suits her and it’s sure to earn you plenty of friend points for future use!

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May Getaway

I have had a full on week. The kids are just back to school and feels like May half term will be upon us in a heartbeat. I already feel weather worn and beaten – how can it be? I think we need to getaway and funds are tight and we might try one of Butlins holiday parks. I think we need a place where the kids are entertained because when they are occupied that’s when I know I can put my feet up and maybe even read a book. It’s great to do things together too and so we need lots of family friendly activities where I am not lugging around loads of kit. I want easy access to food the kids will eat as well. I have picky children and as much as I would like to get them to eat a Greek mezze the reality is that they like simple wholesome fayre.

I really could do with a getaway in the May bank holiday break. I did go to Butlins Barry Island once when I was a teenager, with the school. Hi Di Hi was in it’s hey day and I loved the bright colours of the red coats, the sharp, bright, glaring lipstick and the cheap gags. I dreamed of holiday camp holidays; and to me Butlin’s Barry Island was a place of lore and myth, where happiness was eternal. Of course, one wet, windy winter, Wednesday mid term it didn’t quite live up to my sitcom colored expectations as we filled the fruit machines with copper and whizzed round on plastic, petrol powered rides. My kids love candy floss and theme parks, swimming pools and flumes maybe it’s time to knot the hanky, roll up the trousers to the knees and make like Philip Larkin in Sunny Prestatyn.

I could do with a cheap May getaway to cheer up my poor beaten brow.

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The Attack of the Trolls

So it has begun the trolls that inhabit the dungeons of The Army Rumour Service, an online forum where under the excuse of the tag of the British Military, using forum names, and not their own identities, bullies proudly declare their hatred, racisim, misogyny and bigotry.

They hate me and love to write about how they plan to sexually violate me. They don’t realise this is sexual harrassment and illegal – but the owners of the website do which is why they remove the threads as quickly as the haters post them.

(click on image to enlarge)

I went to the police when they started threatening my 4 year old daughter – insinuating that they wanted to sexually violate her. There is an ongoing police investigation underway.

But now they have started sabotaging my Amazon reviews

(click on image to enlarge)

But the bottom line is they love to hate and attack – but anonymously on computers hiding behind users names. They are cowards.

 

 

 

 

 

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Blowing Goats

Being British wooing Americans isn’t something that comes intrinsically easy to me. Mary McCarthy, the bloggess of Pajamas and Coffee is one of my favourite bloggers – she tells it how it is and is funny to boot. I wanted her to review my book because she inspired 2 chapters in it and because I want to know if our American cousins would like it. Especially as I don’t like guns, or war, and some folk just don’t get it. This is how I snared her pert little American bottom.

Conversation started Thursday

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11:54



AModern Militarymother

Dear Mary,

I am British which means that I am shit at saying how amazing I think people are as an opener. In fact, I am writing the introduction after the main body because I realised that you were American and would respond better to gushing adoration. Being British this doesn’t come naturally to me but to be honest I love reading your articles and I love your style. I, also, love your house and live in a similar British house – in that it’s old, beautiful but costs an arm and a leg to heat – which is British for a fuck of a lot of money. Perhaps we should house swap for a holiday but not in the winter!

I wrote this book:

A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline

and there are two chapters in it inspired by you because reading your blog gave me the confidence to be more honest about who I was in my blog.

- WARNING – Obnoxious and Vulgar just like me

- Fear of Flying

I wondered if you would be interested in reviewing it. I am based in the UK so I could email you a PDF if you would like to read it. I think you’ll find it funny as it has much adult humour in it plus I like swearing.

Obviously, I would be honoured if you read it but I am skint (which is British for poor) so can’t pay which blows goats (which is British for goat fellatio). I would if I could (pay you not blow goats – I would never blow a goat under any circumstance) – I promise. I would be indebted and pay you one day if I ever made the big time.

Anyway think about it – my email is: Iwouldneverdoit@goatblowing.co.uk

your devoted fan, Clare xxx

A Modern Military Mother

www.amazon.com

A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline is a compilation of blog posts from the blog amodernmilitarymother.com about the life, reflections and rants of military wife Clare Macnaughton. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad and sometimes crazy, this is a quick and easy read. A literary, light snack.














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12:46


Mary Baschoff McCarthy

Clare,

I have tears in my eyes. Not just because of your (brilliant effort!) gushing adoration (sorry on behalf of my moronic nation that you had to put yourself through that) but also because Fear of Flying is my favorite book and figures prominently in the novel I am finishing edits on this week.

CONGRATULATIONS on your book! Not making this up: I am working on a post called “5 Books You Need to Order On Amazon Today.” And I have four books for it. Can you believe that?

And all you have to do to be the 5th is send a picture along of you blowing a goat. Seems fair, yes?

Skint is a great word. I’ve never heard it. I am perpetually skint in life. And I would never take your money. We will swap reviews- when my book comes you can review it, if you don’t mind books about dirty sexy women.

My email is Iwantyoutoblowsomegoats@gmail.com. Thanks for being inspired by me, sorry it wasn’t someone better!

xoxo

marymac

p.s. you know i was kidding about fellating the goat, correct?

 

Have you bought my godamn mother fucking book yet? If you haven’t please do so. I really would like to become financially independent and not have to shaft my decorated war hero of a husband out of he is hard earned pension when we get divorced. Please help me support myself – plus it’s a great read – if you don’t believe me, as clearly I am biased, check out the 23 reviews on Amazon.

A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline is a compilation of blog posts from the blog  amodernmilitarymother.com  about the life, reflections and rants of military wife, Clare Macnaughton. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad and sometimes crazy this is a quick and easy read. It’s a literary, light snack.

The book is available:

Amazon UK kindle – click  here

Price £2.58

Amazon UK Paperback – click  here

Price £3.75

About Clare Macnaughton.

Clare Macnaughton started the blog AModernMilitaryMother.com in 2009 to help explain life from the other side of the British military. She wrote her blog as a reflection of her own experiences in a decade of marriage to a man who serves in the military. This was her truth. Despite her separation she cannot sever from military life completely, her husband still deploys to Afghanistan and her children are still impacted by the continued and prolonged absences of their father. She is still a modern, military mother.

 

Please note: No goats were blown in the writing of this blog post

 

 

 

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5 Easy Ways to Get Your Groove Back

We can all have those moments where we can feel as though we are simply breathing rather than living. Being stuck in a rut can add to whatever stress has caused these emotions – whether it’s work, family, friends or something entirely different, it’s time to get back into your groove!

Step back and take a breath

Realising just what it is that’s bringing you down is the first step to feeling confident again. Once you’ve figured it out, it’s time to move away from the problem and take a break.

Take up a new hobby

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to? Or perhaps you were always a little fearful of failure? Now is the time to challenge yourself and take up something new.

Whether it’s writing, photography, knitting, rock climbing or even train spotting, starting a new hobby can not only help you relax, you’ll feel a fantastic sense of achievement afterwards.

Remember that you’ve still got it

It might be tempting to slump around in sweatpants but wearing something sexy can really boost your confidence. Buy a new dress and heels and get ready to dazzle on a night out some of the girls.

Likewise, trying on sexy new lingerie like this Elle MacPherson one from Figleaves, will not only boost your own sense of self-worth, but your partner is sure to show their appreciation as well. Oh, and If you enter “TWENTY” at the point of checkout – you’ll get a 20% of discount too.

Indulge in some ‘me’ time

Book a weekend spa trip for yourself and learn how to really let go. Some time alone can be the ultimate indulgence, so buy throwing a weekend of pampering into the mix will allow you to return the following week with a new glow.

If a full weekend really isn’t viable, book some time at the local salon to have your hair cut and a manicure. Allowing yourself some ‘me’ time is truly the best way to get to know yourself again.

1)     Fake it until you make it

No one should hide their feelings, but sometimes forcing yourself to wear a smile and act positively will result in you actually feeling positive.

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Spring Is Springing So Lighten Up

I know that it might not feel like it but Spring is round the corner – hopefully it will get here before summer which is only weeks away. Having hunkered down for the winter, it’s time to freshen up the kitchen and dining room and get ready for the fun and frolics.

Me, aside, a January Capricorn; we are a family of summer birthdays so it’s time to get ready to celebrate. This means lighting up the rooms and to add some ceiling lights to the kitchen to freshen it up and preparing to shed some light on the situation. I like it nice and bright so that I can get stuck in to summer party cooking. My favourite is to slow roast pork or lamb, with ratatouille, tabulleuh, fresh salad laced with finely chopped herbs and minted cucumber yoghurt. All washed down with a crisp chilled Pouilly Fumé. I love summer entertaining.

The dining room is a disco diva’s place to boogie with a fabulous disco ball in the centre so that we can sprinkle some sparkle on the walls. The Menace is excited as she is first to celebrate with balloons, dancing, party games in her ‘celebration party’. It’s princess, princess, princess for her – she loves pretty dresses, glitter and make up.

Not long now until the first party and I have invitations to write, cakes to bake and parcels to wrap. I just hope the sun brings some warmth to us all – we could do with it.

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A Modern Military Mother to announce exclusive details of book number two at the London Book Fair

A Modern Military Mother to announce exclusive details of book number two at the London Book Fair

 

–Clare Macnaughton, author of A Modern Military Mother, will be on stand Q804 at Earl’s Court, April 17 2013 10am to midday and is available for media interviews–

 

“It’s not all baking, bunting and choirs. It’s mainly a lot of time on your own, juggling work, home and kids, while your partner is away.” - Clare Macnaughton

 

April 5 2013, London, United Kingdom: Clare Macnaughton’s first book, A Modern Military Mother: Tales From The Domestic Frontline, has attracted massive attention within the military and the media due to its no-nonsense, hard-hitting, honest account of life married to the military. Clare will also be making an exclusive announcement about the publication of book number two at the London Book Fair and is available for press interviews before, during and after the event.

 

Clare began her literary career on a high, as ghostwriter of Immediate Response with Major Mark Hammond, which debuted at number nine in The Sunday Times bestseller chart in 2009.

 

Media coverage:

BBC Breakfast

Female First

Wiltshire Life

Western Daily Press

BFBS Wiltshire

 

Blog posts:

Huffington Post

Britmums.com

TrulyMadlyKids.co.uk

Crew Cut and Newt

 

YouTube:

Hagar Goes to Afghanistan

Post Det Chat

AMMMTV – Pilot TV Show

 

Clare says: “This book is about the truth. It’s a funny, hard hitting, honest account of life as a modern professional woman with children who is married to the military. I started my blog A Modern Military Mother in 2007, to write candidly about my life as the wife of an RAF Chinook pilot, called Hagar on the blog and the mother of two children, The Grenade, aged nine and The Menace, aged four. My intention was to write about the impact of being married to the military on my parenting choices.

 

“In 2010 I separated from my husband and was relieved I hadn’t called myself, A Modern Military Wife; not least because I would have to rebrand! Even separated, my life is still hugely impacted by the irregularity of being vicariously connected to the service. The priority for both of us has always been the security and stability of our two children, and so we have an amicable and co-operative partnership within which we raise them.

 

“The change in our circumstances forced Hagar to discuss with the military his parental duties and to fulfil parental responsibilities that otherwise he would have left to me. He has now forged a fantastic relationship with our son, which was lacking before. He is watching his daughter grow with a fresh perspective and renewed vigour. He is now seeing his children and being an integral part of their lives. The children are loved; and loving. They smile and chunter about irrelevant childlike things, far removed from the woes of an adult existence. This brings me great happiness.”

 

Notes to editors

Author contact: clare@maccom.co.uk / 07885 194188 / http://amodernmilitarymother.com/

 

To arrange a press interview with Clare Macnaughton at the London Book Fair please contact Helen Lewis at helen@fullybookedpr.com.

 

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