Clare Macnaughton's Blog, page 37
August 7, 2013
Guest Post: Five family-friendly destinations in the UK
With the kids off school, why not treat them to a fun-filled Bank Holiday weekend? The UK has many family-friendly hot-spots, so pack your bags and enjoy a mini-break to remember.
Here are five must-see destinations:
Blackpool
What would the summer be without a trip to the beach? Blackpool has one of the best coastlines in the UK and is the perfect place for a holiday – so grab your bucket and spade and see what all the fuss is about. Once you’ve finished splashing in the sea, head to one of the three piers for an action-packed afternoon or buy a ticket to the Blackpool Pleasure Beach – the UK’s most-famous thrill park.
Brighton
If you live down south, Brighton is a great tourist destination for all to enjoy. Here you can visit the world-famous pier – where you’ll find everything from arcade games to old-fashioned fairground rides – before cooling down in the bright blue sea. The beach might not be as sandy as the one in Blackpool, but it’s still a wonderful place to spend a warm, summer’s afternoon – so don’t miss out!
London
During the sunny season, book a train ticket to London and spend the weekend in this cosmopolitan capital. There’s plenty for the kids to enjoy, so head to the Tower of London, book a ticket to the London Dungeon or pay a visit to the ZLS London Zoo. You could even spend the day at the London SEA LIFE aquarium and come face-to-face with your favourite sea creature.
Warwick
Are you looking for a memorable activity the whole family will enjoy? If so, head to Warwick Castle and unravel one thousand years of jaw-dropping history. Built to withstand deadly attacks from intruders, this wonderful building is a great place to explore and will give you a unique insight into the UK’s turbulent past. The Merlin Dragon Tower is a particular highlight and the playgrounds and gardens are ideal for a stroll.
Windsor
If you have kids that are too young for Alton Towers or Thorpe Park, take them to LEGOLAND Windsor. Here you’ll find everything from rollercoasters, to log flumes, mini-diggers to fire engines as well as host of stalls and eateries. All rides have been designed for children aged between three and twelve are perfect for your little cherubs. If you’re a history buff, Windsor Castle is also nearby and is a wonderful attraction for all ages.
Book a weekend return train ticket to your favourite destination and make this a summer to remember.
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Health Warning to Men – Boots and Watches-itis
Now if women suffer from ‘Shoes and Handbag-itis’ then estranged husband Hagar he suffers from Boots and Watches-itis. I didn’t realise it until we moved him out of quarters recently that man has boots up the ying yang and he still wants more. He’s very excited about the new boots being issued to the military. The Ministry of Defence has signed a multi-million-pound contract for new boots for the Army, the Royal Navy and the Royal Air Force.
Armed Forces personnel will receive a new range of brown combat boots to replace the black and desert combat footwear they currently wear.
The contract is worth £80 million and troops will have the choice of wearing five different boots, depending on where they are based and what job they are doing. There are five types available:
Desert Combat: worn by dismounted troops conducting high levels of activity in desert environments exceeding 40 °C
Desert Patrol: worn by mounted troops, typically drivers or armoured troops conducting lower levels of activity in desert environments exceeding 40 °C
Temperate combat: worn by dismounted troops for high levels of activity in temperate climates
Patrol: worn by mounted troops, typically drivers or armoured troops conducting lower levels of activity in temperate climates
Cold Wet Weather: worn by dismounted troops for high levels of activity in temperatures down to –20 °C.
Each of the five boot types comes in two different styles, so personnel can wear whichever one is more comfortable for them. Black boots will continue to be worn with most non-camouflage uniforms and by units on parade in full dress uniform, such as Guards regiments on ceremonial duties in central London
If women can’t have too many shoes and handbags then men can’t have too many boots and watches. Hagar gets magpie eyes when he sees watches – he definitely covets then. I am pretty sure he would have an entire watch collection if his budget would allow it. So it’s not just women who get struck down by these strange shopping health conditions – men do too!
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Geek Chic
I was always a bit of a geek at school. I didn’t really align myself with any fashion clique. I just sort of made it up as I went along. In the 80s at my comprehensive school the loudest two groups were the Mods and the Goths. The Mods were a tightly knit clique, that spanned the year groups. Their leader, an Elvis Costello look-alike wore thick rimmed spectacles, multi-coloured bowling shoes, pencil tight trouser and long green parkas. The girls had a short cut hair, bob or page boy, pencil skirts and flat shoes. They drove around town on Lambrettas – pale blue motorbikes with white flaps at the front. They hung around at break in a group, looking sullen and chewing gum. Every Tuesday night there was a teen disco at the Joint Services Club – we would all go Goths, Mods, geeks and yoof. When Pedro’s scintillating sounds would play Booker T’s Green Onions all the Mods would jump up and dance a slippy slide dance across the dance floor.
The Goths wore black all over, with back combed hair and black eyeliner. The clothes were tight at the bottom and baggy at the tops – they lolloped around in groups, not smiling with fringes over their eyes. Was it mandatory to be moody at school? I wasn’t so moody. I was a geek, who played sport who didn’t belong to a clique. My aunty who worked in fashion said my look was ‘sporty’. But I remember thinking ‘I have a look?’ – I didn’t have a look. I still don’t have a look but I am definitely dedicated to pink in a way that I wasn’t in the past. I think that I suppressed a deep love of pink and glitter because I was too much of a geek without much chic.
It must be nice to know what you are and be committed to the cause. I still don’t know what I am but I like the fact that now I can take a bit of this and a bit of that and sprinkle it with some pink and glitter. Anything goes, which is nice.
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Health Warning to Women – Shoes and Handbag-itis
I have just realised that I may be suffering with a long term illness called ‘Shoe and Handbag-itis‘. As a bit of a tomboy, I always thought I was immune to this very serious female condition. I have now learned that it can strike you at any age. Even though, I thought that I wasn’t one of those Immelda Marcos types who needed extensive warehousing to home my shoes and handbag collection I have discovered this may not be the case. On a recent trip to the wonderful city of Bath I found myself inexplicably drawn to shoe shops and became overwhelmed by a warm coveting feeling and a strong desire to purchase shoes and handbags, which I absolutely don’t need. I found myself rubbing my hands together, slightly stooping like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings thinking “Iwantsit”.
I am not sure where these deep seated yearnings for shoes and handbags comes from. I know that I am not alone and that many women suffer from this very serious condition ‘Shoes and Handbag-itis‘. Are you a sufferer? Can we get help on the NHS? In fact do I want help?
At the moment, I am fighting the cravings. I am in a shoe and handbag cold turkey. I am avoiding the high street, not looking online but it’s pretty serious as the withdrawal is insane. I have the shakes, cold sweats and I know there is a pink pair of ankle welly boots with my name on that are just crying out to be purchased. I need help! Is there a cure for this very serious condition? How many women are struck down by it? I know that I am not alone – do you suffer from Shoes and Handbag-itis? How do you cope?
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August 6, 2013
Champagne Taste Lemonade Money – #TaittingerTasteTest
I can’t afford my own tastes. I can’t be the only person whose eyes are bigger than their wallet. I have always loved Champagne. In fact when I was working out what I wanted to be when I grew up I decided I wanted to work in sailing public relations and drink Champagne. My dream job was to be the press officer for the Champagne Mumm Admiral’s Cup and so I began my journey on the road to a career in communications. I did work in sailing and drink much Champagne Mumm but I didn’t ever work on the Admiral’s Cup.
Of course, now I have switched teams and instead of being the PR who lures journalists to pimp their wares I am now the journalist who is lured. I am not sure if it’s poacher turned gamekeeper or the other way around. I have mentioned before that I am on one of those databases that PRs use to target journalists.
Now bearing in mind that I have Champagne tastes and lemonade money you can imagine my delight when a press release from Taittinger pings into my inbox offering me three bottles of Champagne to review. It would be rude not to really and so the #TaittingerTasteTest was born. What a great idea drinking Champagne for no other reason apart from to see what it tastes like. This is my kind of job!
In preparation for my wedding day many moons ago we did embark on a very thorough Champagne tasting to decide on what to serve our guests. My favourite is Lanson Black Label Champagne. Testing and tasting Champagne is a fine way to spend an evening and with a little help from my friends these are the results of the Taittinger Taste Test.
The Taittinger Prelude Grand Cru at £49 has golden colour, with a yeasty, straw scented nose. It’s full bodied and fruity with a hint of peaches, sweet and a long finish. It was my favourite and I could easily have quaffed another bottle.
The Tattinger Les Folies de la Marquetterie at £55 is a lighter Champagne, still quite yeasty smelling, was considerably fizzier than the Prelude, lighter, citrusy, dry with a slightly sharp metallic taste. It would be great to serve with a smoked salmon starter and is a good aperitif.
The Taittinger Brut Reserve £38.99 is a classic wedding Champagne which is not as complex as the first two. It’s light and golden and improves as you drink it. It’s sharp, dry, crisp with just enough bubbles.
The Taittinger Taste Test was a marvellous way to drink three bottles of fizz. Drinking Champagne for no apparent reason with friends trying to find adjectives to describe the experience is highly recommended. We even coined a new term the Tatty flush – the warm glow that bubbles bring to your cheeks. Cheers.
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Guest Post by US Author & Veteran Raymond Gleason – Dear Mom
21 July 2013
Plymouth, Indiana
Dear Mom,
You must think it strange my writing you after all this time. I think the last time I wrote was March 1968, right before that fight my unit was in up in the Chu Pa. I never really told you much about that. Couldn’t see the point. But, after that, I didn’t feel much like writing home. Didn’t know what to say anymore.
You know that book about Vietnam I always said I was going to write? Well, I did it! I think it tells a compassionate and fair story about us… not only the guys who fought, but their families, too.
I wrote a chapter for you. I think you would have loved it. It’s based on a story Timmy told me during your wake. It’s the one when the priest came to the door and you thought he was there to bring you some terrible news. Timmy said you collapsed onto the kitchen floor when he told you who was at the door. He never told that story while you were alive. Did you make him promise? I know that happened after I stopped writing. I never realized how worried that must have made you. I wish I had known earlier, before you left us.
I did write about the Chu Pa in my book… three chapters. It’s one of the hardest things I ever had to do, going back to that place. I don’t know if you remember… or if I ever told you… but that’s the fight where I lost my friend, Jimmy… you know… the guy from Long Island I went through basic with. I wrote you that he had married a widow with two kids after basic and, while he was in Nam, his wife had twins… two little girls. His wife, Carol was her name, I think, actually wrote me a couple of times. We were all supposed to get together when we got home. We tried to convince the First Sergeant to get him off the line… a guy with four kids had no business being out there. I think something was in the works, but the Chu Pa operation was such a big push that his transfer got delayed.
After that, something changed in me. I was no longer interested in getting back home. All I wanted to do was get back at everyone and everything I blamed for letting that happen. What is that saying Nanna used to have? “Throwing the baby out with the bath water.” I guess that’s what I did. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting people, hurting you. Not writing. Extending my tour for Special Ops. Living in Taipei after the war. Refusing to come back to the States. I’m really sorry, Mom. I must have put you and Dad through hell.
Not that you needed any more grief in your life… growing up in the depression… then World War 2… your brother, Buddy, missing after his destroyer was torpedoed in the North Sea… finding out weeks later that he was unconscious with head injuries in a hospital somewhere in England… getting through all that then having to send your cousins off to Korea… then your children off to Viet Nam.
We’re still sending our children off to die in far-away places, Mom. Now it’s Somalia, Kuwait, Iraq, Afghanistan… who knows what next… Syria… Egypt…
I get it now. I’m a parent, like you… a grandparent even! I’d rather spend the rest of my life in Nam than have to send one of my children off into combat.
I think I better go now, Mom. It’s not that I don’t have any more to say to you. It’s just that this is all I can manage for now.
Say Hi to Dad for me! And, I’m sure your keeping my little angel, your granddaughter, Jacqueline, close to you. Tell her I miss her with every breath I take.
As I do you.
All my love,
Skip
Visit Ray Gleason’s web page: http://raygleason.com/
His latest book – The Violent Season will be released soon on Amazon
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July 30, 2013
Unlikely Accidents: Where You Don’t Expect To Be Injured
Danger is all around us, but there are some places where you expect the risk of injury more than others. Recognising that danger could strike at any point is the first step in protecting yourself from harm, but where are some of the most unexpected places where you could be injured?
The hospital
You would think that a hospital is a fairly safe place to be, considering that it is where you go to receive medical treatment. However, recent figures from Scotland show that over 100,000 people have been injured in Scottish hospitals over the past four years alone.
The figures, reported in The Daily Record, explained that this put average injury figures at 64 per day. This accounted for injuries sustained by patients, staff, visitors and even students or those undergoing training.
The laboratory
For anyone working with dangerous substances, a high level of safety is expected, in order to prevent accidents. However, figures from the chemical industry revealed that there are many equipment failures caused by human and organisational errors.
One in five accidents caused by failed equipment name human error as the cause, with piping systems, reactors and storage tanks the equipment most likely to fail. These errors can be particularly severe, because of the dangerous nature of the substances being dealt with.
The office
Workplaces in general are very dangerous places to be with 1.1 million accidents and illnesses being reported by the HSE in 2011/12. There are countless examples of employees being injured due to poor training, inadequate safety equipment and negligence, but these are not the only dangers.
Stepping away from physical injuries for a second, the number of psychological disorders connected with workplace stressors also constitutes a large proportion of work-related injuries. Stress made up 40 per cent of work-related illnesses in 2011/2012, with 428,000 cases. This was labelled Britain’s “£26 billion epidemic” by The Independent in 2010.
Dealing with the risks
The bottom line is that you are always at risk of accident or injury, wherever you are. Staying vigilant is the best way to reduce your risk of being injured and here are a few steps you should take to look after yourself:
• Always evaluate the risks of a given area and make your personal safety a priority.
• Follow all safety guidelines in place at any location to reduce your risk of accident.
• Enquire about health and safety regulations at places of work or other places if you’re concerned that procedures are not being followed correctly.
• Consult with personal injury lawyers to establish where you are entitled to claim on a no win no fee basis, for injuries you sustain as the result of an accident that was not your fault.
Sources:
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/health/shock-figures-reveal-more-100000-1915184
http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/
http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/causdis/stress/
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July 29, 2013
#materates 50% Off September/October Holiday in France – Villa for Rent
We have got some cracking discounts on September and October weeks at our four bedroom villa located in the Limousin, 15 minutes drive from Limoges airport or 5 hours drive from Caen.
Do you want to luxuriate in your own private pool? BBQ on the deck? Chill out under the stars in the evening drinking reasonably priced wine and bask in the sunshine by your own private pool in the daytime. Once you have had a pool to yourself you will never want to share your swimming time again!
If chilling out is not your thing then the lakes of the Charente are 20 minutes away and the region is packed with loads to do from kayaking, horse riding, fishing, chateaus galore – it’s all on your doorstep.
We are completely toddler and baby friendly so it’s the perfect retreat if you are not tied by school holidays. A great place to go to escape and get some you time if you are child free.
The villa sleeps 8 – 2 x doubles and 2 x twin rooms
All you have to do is email me clare@maccom.co.uk with #matesrates in the title and claim your 50% discount on a week.
For more information – please visit:
or
Relax by the pool in the glorious French sunshine
The suntrap by the pool – great for relaxing
Chill out under the cherry tree
Fantastic dining area
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July 21, 2013
The Case Of The Missing Hamster: Chapter Fifteen
The Fifteenth Bit: Home Time
The drive back was quite relaxing.
It had taken Pete three hours to find a replacement hamster. Probably would have been quicker, but I’d made him walk. Well, none of us have a driving licence. Still, I’d look into driving licences when we got back home. Even with my excessive speeding and kangaroo driving I still drove better than most Colonials.
“I think we did quite well with a colour match with that hamster.” Pete said, rummaging around in the glove compartment for the mints.
“And it really didn’t mind being assaulted with permanent markers.” Funny how much hamster bites hurt.
“Humphrey?” Pete said. “Did you eat all of the mints?”
“No. They make me fart.” Humphrey was sat in the back, picking bits of rabbit fur out of his hair. “Dad?”
“And wasn’t it nice of Miss Clare to give us a signed copy of her book each?”
“Oh yes.” I said slapping him around the head with my copy. “And how nice of you to say that we didn’t need a BIG BAG OF CASH, that the books were more than enough payment. When we get back to the office…”
“Dad?”
“… I will be nailing your shoes to the floor and we can play that nice game we play with the Office Pool Cue.”
“Daaad?”
“Still… Oooh. Found a mint.” Pete crunched away. “Still….. Miss Clare did look very relaxed when we left. Faustus. Didn’t you have a big box of handkerchiefs in here when we left. Those really big ones that you can wrap around your neck when it’s cold. I could have sworn that there were at least a dozen. Have you got a cold Humphrey?”
“DDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?”
“No Humphrey, we are not there yet. What the Hell do you want?”
“You know how Clare has this bloke in the Flying Army Lot?”
“Yes. What about it?”
“And you know how he has this really big chopper?”
“I hardly think that the size of his penis is relevant.” Chipped in Pete.
“What about it?”
“And you know how some of them have these really big missiles hanging from the bottom of them?”
“Will you just get to the fucking point?”
“Why don’t you take a look in the rear view mirror?”
I looked in the rear view mirror.
“Humph, there’s not a damn thing on the road.”
“Dad, why don’t you look about thirty feet above the road?”
I angled the mirror.
I looked.
Bollocks in a Bucket.
He did have a big chopper after all.
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July 20, 2013
The Case Of The Missing Hamster: Chapter Fourteen
The Fourteeth Bit: A Battle Between Good and Evil.
Force of will pinned Clare to her chair. Lucrezia The Hamster mumbled spells of Dark Arts Possession . She was preparing to rip Clare’s soul from her body.
Small beads of blood began to appear on Clare’s chin. The same would be happening in her back. Lucrezia was drawing her, body and soul towards the circle. Her blood a key to the spell. Clare’s eyes began to glaze and roll up into her head.
Then Lucrezia exploded.
I know. I know.
You were expecting me to do some sort of daring do.
Maybe throw an amulet into the circle.
Perhaps even reveal myself to be some sort of Wizard P.I. who could stand toe to toe… claw with a witch and hurl all sorts of majic stuff about. Lightning bolts and the like.
Please.
I was facing a Hamster for God’s Sake. I hit her with my shoe.
End result? Hamster Jam.
“Just look at the mess on my table.” Clare shouted. “And what am I going to tell the kids about what happened to Ginger? And who’s going to clean up all of this mess? Do you think that skinny moron of yours will have any luck finding a replacement hamster? And where’s that bloody little bastard that was trying to shag the bitch that wanted me inside her?” And did that sound as dirty as I think it did?”
“Possibly.” I said, filling the kettle for another coffee. “But I’m open minded. As is your rabbit, it seems.”
I was looking out of the window and seeing Humph doing The Nasty with a rabbit in the garden. Well, not the first time, though normally he hits them on the head first or at least slips them a bit of doped carrot.
“Don’t sweat it Lady.” I said, making a halfway decent cup of instant Black. “We just saved you from doing laps around a wheel for the rest of your natural, while your body engaged in depravity that would make even me raise an eyebrow. And I invented The Trick With The Five Scarves and The Ice Cubes. Must read your book though and find out about the…”
“Best you don’t.” She said, scrubbing away at the Hamster Blood Pool. “And don’t think I’m going to forget that your little guy was going to sell us all out for a quick shag.”
“Nope.” I said lighting a fresh smoke. “He was distracting her so I could slip off my shoe and do the business. Normally we do that trick on Gnomes. Surprising how susceptible they are to the little bastards charms. We work this stuff out in advance you know.”
“So where is The Borgia Bitch now?” She poured herself a cola and I passed her a smoke.
“Well, given by the circles she laid down… I’d say she’d stuck herself in a loop. Endless reincarnation in the same body, aware of what’s gone on and always having to repeat it. Hopefully as dysentery again, she sounded like she enjoyed that.”
“Death’s too good…”
“Nah. She’s just a product of her time. A warped, twisted and sexually deviant product of her time but still. At least if she was dead she’d be warm. Very warm by all accounts. That rabbit is not looking happy.”
“Why is the little Snot Man getting some scarves out of a bag? And why is there hardly any ice left in the freezer. I wanted some for my cola.”
“It’s a secret.” I said, tearing my eyes away from the scene. “Like the Speaking In Fonts.”
“Care to share?”
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