Clare Macnaughton's Blog, page 23
December 3, 2014
Real Life: #PoshPeople on BBC2 @TatlerUK – How posh are you?
I love watching tv shows about rich people and posh people. Made in Chelsea is my guilty pleasure, although I can only watch it sporadically as I find it utterly vacuous; yet it’s so awful that it’s so good. It’s like Fifty Shades of Grey, saccharin. (Check out my review of Fifty Shades of Grey: http://amodernmilitarymother.com/book-reviews/i-am-clit-flick-lit-crack-whore-fifty-shades-of-grey-review)
I don’t watch soap operas such as Eastenders or Coronation Street or Emmerdale. They bring me down. I find them too depressing. In my youth, I religiously watched Dallas, Dynasty and The Colbys; even though I knew it was car crash tv. I love a super, speedy, trashy rapid plot cheese fest and there is nothing finer than forthcoming New Year dose of Nashville, if you are looking for a modern day Dallas.
As I have been living in the heartlands of the posh in the Shire of Wilts, in a house traditionally occupied by posh people and I could be perceived myself as one of them posh people. I have been battling with the dilemma of whether I am posh or pikey? Watching the TV show Posh People: Inside Tatler, on BBC 2; a behind the scenes look at Tatler magazine, brought these thoughts to the surface once again. I loved watching the documentary about the posh person magazine, which is run by the lesser attractive posh people (apart from the editor and the school’s guide editor) and it was a fascinating insight into the bonkers world of posh people. The shots from the front row of London Fashion Week were indeed like images out of a Gerard Scarfe illustration. It really did reveal the revoltingness of the opulent world of the posh, some of which are now poor posh people, in an unintentional Gonzo way. For a minute, I thought I should be buying Tatler. It was an odd moment of social confusion. By the end of the tv show I decided that I won’t be buying Tatler.
I wrote this in 2011 – http://amodernmilitarymother.com/mother/to-be-or-not-to-be-posh-or-pikey
Over the years and through my drunken, inappropriate, posh rule breaking and offensive to posh people behaviour, I have come to the conclusion that I am definitely NOT POSH and I don’t want to be. Now, I do want to live in the big house, have lovely holidays, grow my own vegetables, pursue my dreams; but I don’t want to wear tweed, ride horses, own dogs, speak without moving my lips, or shout without listening to people, observe ridiculous rules as decreed by Debretts and general suck up to the establishment who behave revoltingly and then lie about it. I am just going to be straight forward revolting and true to my crazy self. I am lazy and being posh is too difficult and not much fun, especially if you can’t be bothered to learn the rules and adhere to them. I prefer a carefree, fun, posh free, existence.
It’s such a relief to throw the shackles of posh ambition away and live a life true to myself instead. As an officer’s wife there are unspoken rules of engagement that I just don’t adhere to them either. The Wessex punk that occupies part of my soul says ‘fuck you stupid rules’.
I like to make my own rules.
These are very simple:
1.) Try not to be a complete and utter cunt.
2.) If being a complete and utter cunt then stop immediately
Sometimes, you just have to know who are your people and my people aren’t posh people they are people who are not cunts. (There are obviously exceptions to every rule and I do have a few lovely posh friends; but we are friends because we like each other and laugh at the same things.) How about you? Are you a posh person? Do you wannabe posh?
Deep down I am a Republican, who doesn’t endorse the patriarchal, wealthy, ruling elitist system. I want electoral reform. I want to shut Westminster down and turn it into a tourist attraction. I want a purpose built Government campus in the West Midlands. I want parliamentary sessions to be tailored to support the greater inclusion of women of child bearing age and with children. I believe in progression and the traditions that the posh and wealthy newbies cling to stifles change. Power to the real people.
Bearing in mind, that I am a terrible posh person and a dreadful officer’s wife, I will be launching a new blog called Macnaughty so that I can write without the conflict of interests that this blog currently exposes.
For more information on Macnaughty and the blog conflicts watch this video:
This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton; a modern military mother; a feminist, British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.
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Blog
http://amodernmilitarymother.com
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November 27, 2014
Real Life: Strong women love ‘em or hate ‘em?
Writing this blog today feels like an indulgent luxury. I have been so f*cking busy that I haven’t had time to blog in that just chewing the fat, this is what is going down in my hood kinda way. Finally, I can focus on my future and start building the business that I want but I’ll come back to that in a minute.
Available from Amazon worldwide
In the rollercoaster that is my world I have been stepping out and meeting fellow creatives and virtually meeting fellow feminists. I have come two over-riding observations:
1.) The world wants more strong, independent women. However, strong women are not liked. I am a strong woman and I am not popular or well liked. I have my own opinion and I don’t say what people want to hear. People don’t like this and they don’t like me for my honesty. This oxymoron creates a huge barrier for women. We can’t raise our daughters to be popular and well liked and strive for independence because to cut your own path it is imperative that you don’t give a f*ck what other people think and that is never the popular option. This doesn’t mean women shouldn’t take guidance or steering, or they should ignore those who are wiser, because most of our journeys are about gathering knowledge and applying that learning. But more that being independent and strong is about deciding what you want out of life and striving for those goals regardless of the goals of others. In business it’s called strategy.
2.) Radical feminism is dominated by lesbians who think of men as male oppressors and want a utopian man free world. It wasn’t until I joined the Facebook group ‘Feminism!’ that I realised that in comparison to true radical feminists I am actually a homemaking, man loving, Daily Fail reading (I don’t read the Daily Fail really), facist cop out.
These two observations pose many ethical and intellectual challenges for me. The sort of challenges that create weakness, self doubt and wishy washyness.
Having lived in military quarters for 11 years and being viewed as a troublemaking, leftish (compared to the regular military lemmings), feminist, alcoholic, queen bee type and then moving to The Shire where the ruling elite are tweed wearing, posh people who do actually read the Daily Mail and vote UKIP. I have been sat here smugly reading progressive sites – such as Jezebel, Pink News and The Root so that I can keep up to date with the voice of emerging and fighting groups – confident that I was a liberal open minded feminist with a dream of living off grid, in a world where women were strong and independent, and not continually exploited; but also with a bit of travel to exotic destinations thrown in for good measure. Now, I realise that I lack conviction and integrity and that in truth I have a lot of learning to do.
Rather than feeling threatened and withdrawing by this new status quo of my liberal feminism and my unpopular, strong, independent stance I have decided to own it. A bit like owning my curves, my age, my reality and instead of denying it, I am coming terms with it, and using it as part of the way forward.
2015 is a year of new beginnings. Especially for me. I am focusing on my businesses and creative projects and looking forward to seeing how the future will unfold.
Writing projects:
The next book – Looking For Mr Rabbit will be edited and re-worked.
This playlist will bring you up to speed with Looking For Mr Rabbit – the story so far…..
The play – Opposites Attract will be developed for the stage
The blog will be re-branded and will incorporate Clare Macnaughton into the brand. I will have two new logos and a new blog theme.
I will be developing regular features – food, politics, reviews and living.
I will be connecting with a wider audience; Wiltshire women and other bloggers.
I will sort out my subscription platforms, so that I can keep you all informed.
I will be looking at how to expand into a retail based offer.
I will be growing the reach of the free A5 Warminster magazine.
Others…..
There are few ideas in the pipeline – a pop up cafe and maybe some social media, PR courses, etc, so watch this space.
Hagar, the estranged husband has a year in post left in his current job and then he is faced with a very difficult decision his career, or his kids – yes, folks it’s that simple. His current job is demanding but delightful as he gets to spend time with his family and those that execute the military doctrine in his current role have no beef with me and I have no beef with them. Recently, there was a little incident with a spineless, lying element of the executors of military doctrine which, when I think about it makes my blood boil, and I feel like having a little fight with the assholes but as I am being all positive and spiritual I am, for now, letting it go.
I have had to do a little bit of Facebook blocking to some factions of my past life, especially related to the time I lived in military quarters because, ultimately, I would rather not have their toxic voyeurism via Facebook. Of course, if they want to come over to here and have a little nosey I have no problem with that at all. This little blockathon was triggered by the spineless, lying executor of military doctrine, who reminded me of the unprofessional, nepotistic, empire building elements of the military business which I despise; and also that there are people who occupy the military extended family that are very unpleasant and not to be trusted. Luckily for me as an unpopular, strong, independent women, who is owning her new destiny, I am ready as ever to stand my ground, although I doubt the spineless lemmings will have the courage, or even care enough, to confront the truth. They are all smug and comfy in their ivory towers, with their buddies, blowing sunshine out of each other’s arseholes to even give a shit about who they are shafting. Blimey, where did that little toxic rant come from? You see the poison of the past in some ways still occupies my veins if I feed it with my thoughts so begone nastiness; onwards and upwards.
Life at the moment is more sunshine and lollipops. Christmas is coming and it’s truly magical time at Christmas at my house so I leave you this to enjoy and just in case you were wondering this is how I feel…..Nina Simone – Feeling Good….
This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton; a modern military mother; a feminist, British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.
BUY MY NEW BOOK
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – Paperback
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – KINDLE
You Tube
http://www.youtube.com/user/amodmilitarymum
Pilot TV show – AMMMTV
Huff Post UK
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/clare-macnaughton#
Blog
http://amodernmilitarymother.com
Consultancy
http://www.claremacnaughton.com
The post Real Life: Strong women love ‘em or hate ‘em? appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
November 24, 2014
How to have a fulfilling sex life in later life
It’s perfectly natural for things to change as we age, including our sexual lives. What was typical at 18 may not be the norm at 35. Similarly, our experiences of sex in middle age may differ widely from our experiences in later life. However, it’s important to remember that, no matter what your age, it’s possible to have an enjoyable and satisfying sex life if you are prepared to tackle any problems you encounter.
Here, we take a look at two of the most common sexual problems people face as they get older and how they can be resolved:
1. Erectile dysfunction
About half of all men aged 40 to 70 experience difficulties getting and maintaining erections. This condition can cause a lot of distress and, in some cases, can result in people avoiding sex altogether. Many people assume that erectile dysfunction is a normal part of the ageing process. However, this does not have to be the case. It is important to remember that an unhealthy lifestyle can cause sexual dysfunction at any age. Getting enough exercise, maintaining a healthy weight, keeping cholesterol levels in check and not smoking can lower a man’s chances of developing erectile dysfunction as he gets older. If a man is physically well and leads a healthy, active lifestyle, a psychological problem, such as depression or anxiety, may be to blame. Mental health problems are not uncommon and help for these issues is widely available. Treatments, such as talking therapies and medications, can be accessed through your GP. While getting back on track psychologically, some men choose to use erectile dysfunction medicines, such as sildenafil. These days you can get sildenafil online quickly and safely.
2. Pain during sex
Many women that have gone through the menopause report feeling pain or discomfort during sex. In fact, one survey indicates that 84% of women find sex painful after the menopause, and almost 70% reported that this issue had caused relationship problems. Pain during sex (known as dyspareunia) in menopausal women is often caused by a drop in oestrogen levels, which can result in the vaginal dryness. For many women, this can make sex very sore and uncomfortable. Vaginal dryness may be a natural part of ageing but this does not mean you have to put up with it. There are a variety of treatments available, from lubricants and intimate moisturising gels to oestrogen creams and hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Women can also lower their risk of experiencing vaginal dryness by avoiding intimate washing with shower gels and soaps.
Aside from pleasure, there are many reasons you may want to pursue a satisfying sex life. Sex can reduce stress, support immune system function, lower blood pressure, improve bladder control and reduce the risk of heart disease. Whether your problems are physical, psychological or emotional, don’t let it put you off your quest for a fulfilling sex life. There is help out there and there is no need to be embarrassed about getting it.
The post How to have a fulfilling sex life in later life appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
November 20, 2014
Snuggle Up
Check out these handy winter warming hints so you get snug this winter:
Layer up
The more skin is exposed to cool air, the colder you will feel. Wearing layers of thin clothes will keep you warmer than big winter jumpers as they trap body heat. The more skin is exposed to cool air, the colder you will feel.
Eat well and drink warm
While having a hot tea or coffee may make you feel warmer, it’s more to do with the caffeine. That is because caffeine increases blood flow to the skin. You may feel warmer as a result, but your body is actually losing heat. Alcohol has the same affect. Try sticking to decaffeinated or herbal hot drinks instead.
Eating regular meals with carbohydrates will also help keep you warm. Porridge, stews and soup are great winter-warmers. These healthy hearty foods are great for warming you up from the inside out.
Get moving
Working out in the winter. It may be the last thing you feel like doing but it gives you a rush of mood bosting endorphins. The exercise will get the blood pumping around your body and heat up your skin.
Stay social
With chilly, longer nights in winter, the temptation is to hibernate at home rather than catching up with friends. Research from the University of Toronto has discovered that social exclusion makes you feel colder but socialising and spending time with people, warms you up.
Snuggle up
Save on your electricity bills this winter and get cosy with warm blankets, fleecy onesies and duvets instead. Fill a hot water bottle to hug. While sleeping, ensure you stay toasty by wearing pyjamas and bed socks to keep your feet from getting cold at night.
The post Snuggle Up appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
November 14, 2014
Electoral Reform Society Welcomes Report on Voter Engagement
Responding to the Political and Constitutional Reform Committee’s report Voter engagement in the UK, published today, Katie Ghose, Chief Executive of the Electoral Reform Society, said:
“Voter disengagement is the central political challenge of our time, and the Committee should be applauded for its excellent work in this area. We wholeheartedly support the report’s recommendations on reforming voter registration to make it easier for people to vote, as well as widening the franchise so 16 and 17 year olds can take part in our democracy.
“It’s also gratifying to see so many respondents to the inquiry point out how utterly broken our electoral system is. We’re now in a four, five or even six-party era, so we can expect some horribly unfair results in the general election next year. We believe it is high time we got rid of the outdated First Past the Post, and replaced it with a fairer system where every voice is heard and every vote counts.”
The Committee has called on the Government to explore the idea of making election day a public holiday. Responding to this idea, Katie Ghose said:
“Voting is a fundamental part of our role as a citizen, so it’s right to celebrate the day we go to the polls and choose who represents us. It’s important that we innovate around how we do elections so we can successfully close the gap between people and politics. We’ll support any measure which creates a sense of occasion on election day.”
The Committee has also recommended making voting compulsory for some elections. Responding to this idea, Katie Ghose said:
“Making it compulsory for people to vote hides the symptoms of voter disengagement, but does nothing to address the causes. Many people are deeply distrustful of representative politics, but they won’t come back into the process in any meaningful way if they are forced to take part.
“We believe there are many other more positive things we should be doing to close the gap between people and politics, some of which have been recommended in this report.”
The post Electoral Reform Society Welcomes Report on Voter Engagement appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
Reasons to join the RAF
The RAF is a real source of national pride and it plays a crucial role in defending the country. Established in 1918, it boasts some of the Reasons to join the RAFmost impressive technology and highly trained military personnel in the world.
To show your appreciation of this beloved institution, you can purchase a variety of RAF gifts and memorabilia from the Royal Air Force Museum Gift Shop. Meanwhile, if you want to take your interest in the RAF a step further, you might be interested in joining up. There are a host of benefits associated with working for the UK’s air force, and here are some of the most important.
Serve your country and be a team player
By starting a career in the RAF, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re serving your country. You’ll also get to meet lots of interesting and like-minded people. Individuals from all walks of life sign up, but they each have certain things in common. For example, all are looking to get the most out of life. In the RAF, you’ll be a true team player and you’ll benefit from a sense of belonging and purpose.
See the world
You might also get the chance to travel. Bear in mind that the organisation has an active presence overseas, with bases in the Falkland Islands, Cyprus, Gibraltar and Ascension Islan
Further your education
In addition, you’ll have the chance to further your education. Joining up entitles you to an annual allowance to study for new qualifications and, depending on the position you take, you might get to complete an apprenticeship or earn a recognised qualification for free. You can also claim back up to 80 per cent on a variety of course fees.
Benefit from an impressive package
The RAF offers a competitive benefits package too. For example, personnel are entitled to six weeks of paid holiday every year, as well as public holidays. If you join, you’ll also get private healthcare and dental care that’s available at a moment’s notice.
It’s easy to keep fit when you’re in the RAF too. Bases include free sports facilities and physical training instructors are on hand to offer advice to help you stay in shape. You might also be interested in the array of sports clubs on offer.
These are just some of the reasons why you might want to consider joining the RAF. Of course, choosing this as a career path is a big decision, so it’s important that you do plenty of research first. You should be able to find all the information you need on the web.
The post Reasons to join the RAF appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
November 13, 2014
Cut Crime Over Christmas
You might be looking forward to the impending festive season. After all, this is the perfect time of year to catch up with friends and family and to generally make merry and have a good time. However, you’re not alone in your eager anticipation of this annual celebration. Criminals across the land are bracing themselves for a busy and potentially productive couple of months. Residential burglaries in the UK peak between November and January, and it’s not hard to see why. In many ways, the Christmas period represents the perfect storm for domestic security. The nights are long and people are steadily amassing gifts in their homes to give to loved ones. Also, many people head off on trips over the festive season, leaving their properties vulnerable to break-ins. However, by following these simple tips, you should be able to cut the risk that you’ll fall victim to crime over coming weeks.
Invest in the best tech to protect your home
There is now an impressive selection of hi-tech devices on offer that can help to bolster security in your home. For example, if you don’t already have one, it may be worth investing in a CCTV system. Security specialists such as Big Brother Systems offer an array of solutions and may have just what you’re after. As well as helping to identify any intruders, this equipment serves as an effective deterrent. Opportunistic burglars are much less likely to attempt to enter a property if they know their actions will be recorded on video.
Another effective way to increase safety at your property, and one that you may not have even heard of before, is to install infrared perimeter beams. These systems are at the cutting edge of intruder prevention. You can set the beams up around your home and if they are broken by someone stepping through them, an alarm will be sounded. This can alert you to the presence of potential intruders before they have even reached your house. The beams are positioned at waist height, so you don’t have to worry about your neighbourhood cats or any wildlife giving you an unnecessary fright.
Get the security basics right
Of course, it’s no good spending money on these sophisticated systems if you then fail to get the basics right. As well as taking advantage of the very best modern technology has to offer, make sure you focus on common sense security provisions. For example, always make sure your doors and windows are locked, particularly when you leave your property. Also, never rely on flimsy locks. Heavy duty versions are a must for your front and back doors.
Give your home the lived-in look when you’re away
Like lots of people, you might be planning a trip away this Christmas. Perhaps you will be visiting family or maybe you’ve booked a holiday. The trouble is, if you’re not careful, criminals will wise up to the fact that your home is unoccupied, making them more likely to strike.
This is why it’s so important to give your home the lived-in look when you’re not there. It’s now possible to buy timer switches for your lights, and this can help to give the impression that you’re in. If possible, get your neighbours to check in on your home and move any mail from your doorstep every couple of days too. Also, don’t forget to cancel any newspaper or milk deliveries.
As long as you bear tips like these in mind over the festive season, you should be able to minimise the risk of break-ins and better protect your property and family.
The post Cut Crime Over Christmas appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company
I always approach military events with a certain degree of caution. Non military perceptions of military existence are often ill informed and romantic. But as I am honing my screen writing skills and need to have more theatrical experience in actual theatres, and not just inside my house, then I agreed to review ‘Do We Do The Right Thing?’ by Neil Walker, who was raised as a ‘PADBRAT’ (a son of the serving who lived in military quarters) to an army Sergeant in the 60s and 70s.
The play, which is an anthology of real voices, interpreted and presented by a cast ensemble of four actors, Neil Walker, Craig Hendry, Joanna Waters and Luke Shepherd, was inspired by the BBC documentary ‘The Town That Remembers’ about the Royal Wootton Bassett, the impact of the re-patriation of those killed in combat on the town dwellers and the ripple effect of death in combat. The play, written by Neil Walker, uses transcripts of those he interviewed and his own family life to construct a narrative, which seamlessly transcends through a 100 years of death in combat. It also addresses Neil’s own personal conflict – what does it mean to be a man? He was raised by a dedicated patriarchal military sergeant; but knew from a young age that he was gay and that he didn’t want to serve his country and put his life on the line. Instead pursued hobbies, such as horse-riding, to please his father and gain his medal of manhood. The military definition of what maketh the man is very clear and draconian and no doubt every step of Neil’s creative journey has led him to ask the question ‘am I really a man?’
The military is a collective body that relies on uniformity. It attracts similar personality types and if they don’t fit the mould it reshapes them to be the mould. As a collective and mass moving body; it relies on order and hierarchy to deliver the mission in an operational effective way. It is not agile, flexible and free thinking. But by joining a male dominated organisation that makes you dress the same, think the same and act the same; in my opinion this is not what makes a man.
Men respond. It takes discipline, patience, and maturity to filter and think about other people before responding. A response requires thought, whereas a reaction is instinctual. Men are willing to examine their defects. They practice transparency and non-defensiveness. They express how they feel. They don’t try to be someone they are not. They handle confrontations by acknowledging, taking responsibility, and making choices. Then they move forward, changed. Men have a cause. Fighting for a position in life. Expressing art. Sharing gifts. Improving. Something he believes in, even if others don’t. Whether it’s one’s character, or an empire, men build. Men take action. Men change. They “fix” their relationship. Stop drinking, cheating, spending, hiding, and numbing. They take action and climb that mountain daily. If they fall down over and over; they keep getting back up. They put their money where their mouth is.
Neil Walker is a man; a man who asks questions, and together with the innovation and direction of Tommy Lexen, and the collaboration of the team at the Be Frank Theatre company, collectively they have created a moving and heart wrenching journey, which analyses the ripples of war across the last 100 years.
Do We Do The Right Thing was sympathetic; but not patronising, or condescending. I took my 11 year old son to watch it. It was hard viewing for him and it made him very sad; but he made it to the end. Hagar and I felt it was important that he saw life extends beyond the consumer based fun filled existence of computer games and his own needs.
I would like to live in a world without war, and yet, I live inside the war machine. From inside the war machine I am privileged to have greater insight into the machinations of the beast than some of those interviewed for the play. From the outside the war machine is a complex puzzle, driven by governments and politics with agendas, outside the comprehension of the person on street. In Wootton Bassett crowds gathered and paid tribute to the war dead because it was the right thing to do; but the mass gathering affected the town. It brought the war home to them when some would prefer to bury their head in the sand.
Whilst the play is not political there is a hint of discontent at Blair and Bush; but then this is tempered with;
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
In my opinion, Bush and Blair created this holy war on purpose because they are both Christian fundamentalists, and didn’t they do well, because in this era of ISIS the war continues on. Sometimes the line between good and evil becomes very blurred indeed.
The play echoes the sentiment of many modern dilemmas in a liberal society, where the freedom to express and choose our destiny is not seen as a luxury, but a right. The journey is complex. Men need war and war needs men. But we cannot criticise those who pay the ultimate sacrifice to fight in conflicts some don’t support, but instead we must remember their sacrifice.
I think this quote sums it up:
Did We Do The Right Thing is thought provoking and heart wrenching; but don’t take my word for it see it for yourself.
Next show:
The BikeShed, Exeter - 10 November 2014 – 19:30
Tickets: £12 (£8 Concessions)
Web: http://www.bikeshedtheatre.co.uk/whats-on/do-we-do-the-right-thing/
Box Office: 01392 434 169
Old Fire Station, Oxford – 18-19 February 2015
About BeFrank Theatre Company
BeFrank is a London-based international theatre company that produces ambitious, visually engaging and thought-provoking productions based on real life stories, current topics and key social and political events that together form the global society we are a part of. We collaborate across multiple disciplines and bring together theatre makers, musicians, academics, journalists and political experts to explore different perspectives on important subjects and current events happening all around the world.
We aim to reach the heart of these issues by travelling to the places and meeting the people involved with each event and hearing their stories first hand. We strive to discover the human story behind the headlines and show the perspectives others are afraid to tackle.
Our process is based upon extensive research and development, field studies and an exploration of digital technologies and storytelling. Our vision is to produce performances of the highest artistic and intellectual quality as well as being engaged, interesting and accessible for a wider audience.
The company was formed in 2010 by artistic director Tommy Lexen and has since then developed into an ensemble and creative team from seven different countries and four continents. As a company we aim to bridge the gaps between diverse communities and create dialogues that can inspire social change.
The post Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
November 8, 2014
Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company
I always approach military events with a certain degree of caution. Non military perceptions of military existence are often ill informed and romantic. But as I am honing my screen writing skills and need to have more theatrical experience in actual theatres and not inside my house, then I agreed to review ‘Do We Do The Right Thing?’ by Neil Walker, who was raised as a ‘PADBRAT’ (a son of the serving who lived in military quarters) to an army Sergeant in the 60s and 70s.
The play, which is an anthology of real voices, interpreted and presented by a cast ensemble of four actors, was inspired by the BBC documentary ‘The Town That Remembers’ about the Royal Wootton Bassett and the impact of the re-patriation of those killed in combat on the town dwellers and the ripple effect of death in combat. The play written by Neil Walker, uses transcripts of those he interviewed and his own family life to construct a narrative which seemlessly transcends through a 100 years of death in combat. It also addresses Neil’s own personal conflict – what does it mean to be a man? He was raised by a dedicated patriarchical military sergeant; but knew from a young age that he was gay and that he didn’t want to serve his country and put his life on the line. Instead pursued hobbies, such as horseriding, to please his father and gain his medal of manhood. The military definition of what maketh the man is very clear and draconian and no doubt every step of Neil’s creative journey has lead himself to ask the question ‘am I really a man?’
The military is a collective body that relies on uniformity. It attracts similar personality types and if they don’t fit the mould it reshapes them to be the mould. As a collective and mass moving moving body; it relies on order and heirarchy to deliver the mission in an operational effective way. It is not agile, flexible and free thinking. But by joining a male dominated organisation that makes you dress the same, think the same and act the same in my opinion is not what makes a man.
Men respond. It takes discipline, patience, and maturity to filter and think about others people before responding. A response requires thought, meta-cognition. A reaction is instinctual. Men are willing to examine their defects. They practice transparency and non-defensiveness. They express how they feel. They don’t try to be someone they’re not. They handle confrontations by acknowledging, taking responsibility, and making choices. And they move forward, changed. Men have a cause. Fighting for one’s position in life. Expressing art. Sharing gifts. Improving. Something he believes in, even if others don’t. Whether it’s one’s character or an empire, men build. Men take action. Men change. They “fix” their relationship. Stop drinking, cheating, spending, hiding, and numbing. They take action and climb that mountain daily. If they fall down over and over; they keep getting back up. They put their money where their mouth is.
Neil Walker is a man; a man who asks questions, and together with the innovation and direction of Tommy Lexen, and the collaboration of the team at the Be Frank Theatre company, they collectively have created a moving and heart wrenching journey, which analyses the ripples of war across the last 100 years.
Do We Do The Right Thing was sympathetic; but not patronising or condescending. I took my 11 year old son to watch it. It was hard viewing for him and it made him very sad; but he made it to the end. Hagar and I felt it was important that he saw life extends beyond the consumer based fun filled existence of computer games and his own needs.
I would like to live in a world without war and yet I live inside the war machine. From inside the war machine I am privileged to have greater insight into the machinations of the beast than some of those interviewed for the play. From the outside the war machine is a complex puzzle, driven by governments and politics with agendas outside the comprehension of the person on street. In Wootton Bassett crowds gathered and paid tribute to the war dead because it was the right thing to do but the mass gathering affected the town. It brought the war home to them when some would prefer to bury their head in the sand.
Whilst the play is not political there is a hint of discontent at Blair and Bush; but then this is tempered with;
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
In my opinion, Bush and Blair created this holy war on purpose because they are both Christian fundamentalists and didn’t they do well because in this era of ISIS the war continues on. Sometimes the line between good and evil becomes very blurred indeed.
The play echoes the sentiment of many modern dilemmas in a liberal society where the freedom to express and choose our destiny is not seen as a luxury but a right. The journey is complex. Men need war and war needs men. But we cannot criticise those who pay the ultimate sacrifice to fight in conflicts some don’t support, but instead we must remember their sacrifice.
I think this quote sums it up:
Did We Do The Right Thing is thought provoking and heart wrenching; but don’t take my word for it see it for yourself.
Next show:
The BikeShed, Exeter - 10 November 2014 – 19:30
Tickets: £12 (£8 Concessions)
Web: http://www.bikeshedtheatre.co.uk/whats-on/do-we-do-the-right-thing/
Box Office: 01392 434 169
Old Fire Station, Oxford – 18-19 February 2015
About BeFrank Theatre Company
BeFrank is a London-based international theatre company that produces ambitious, visually engaging and thought-provoking productions based on real life stories, current topics and key social and political events that together form the global society we are a part of. We collaborate across multiple disciplines and bring together theatre makers, musicians, academics, journalists and political experts to explore different perspectives on important subjects and current events happening all around the world.
We aim to reach the heart of these issues by travelling to the places and meeting the people involved with each event and hearing their stories first hand. We strive to discover the human story behind the headlines and show the perspectives others are afraid to tackle.
Our process is based upon extensive research and development, field studies and an exploration of digital technologies and storytelling. Our vision is to produce performances of the highest artistic and intellectual quality as well as being engaged, interesting and accessible for a wider audience.
The company was formed in 2010 by artistic director Tommy Lexen and has since then developed into an ensemble and creative team from seven different countries and four continents. As a company we aim to bridge the gaps between diverse communities and create dialogues that can inspire social change.
The post Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 28, 2014
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Taking some ‘me time’
5th November it is National Stress Awareness Day leading life coach Sophia Davis suggests that taking just five minutes a day for ‘you’ can help decrease stress levels. Taking a moment for ourselves helps us to gain a greater sense of calm and clarity. This helps to decrease our stress and anxiety levels, therefore leaving us more relaxed.
There are also scientific health benefits behind many of Sophia’s and healthy biscuit’s go ahead! tips. For example, hugging instantly boosts oxytocin levels, healing feelings of loneliness, isolation and anger and laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect against heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems.
Always look on the bright side of life
The top feel good moments from healthier biscuit brand go ahead! research are:
1. Walking in sunshine
2. Getting into fresh bed sheets
3. Going on a walk in the countryside
4. Someone saying they like what you’re wearing
5. The smell of sea air
6. Receiving flowers
7. Someone pulling out of a space in a busy car park just as you arrive
8. Having a cuddle
9. A kiss from your partner
10. Laughing so much it hurts
11. Getting ready to go on holiday
12. Walking barefoot on sand
13. A hug from your child
14. Listening to your favourite song
15. Listening to the rain
16. Smell of freshly cut grass
17. A smile from a baby
18. Putting on your favourite item of clothing
19. Singing along to favourite songs in the car
20. A lie in on a Sunday morning
Facts and Stats from go ahead! research:
· 44 per cent of Brits would choose their partner as the person who’d cheer them up the most
· Around a quarter (24%) would be happier receiving a hug from a loved one than receiving £100
· 1 in 3 (33%) of us smile three to five times a day because of simple, free pleasures
· Three quarters (76%) of women said receiving flowers make them feel good – they’re also twice as likely to feel good after someone compliments their clothing than men are (62% vs 30%)
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