Clare Macnaughton's Blog, page 24
November 13, 2014
Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company
I always approach military events with a certain degree of caution. Non military perceptions of military existence are often ill informed and romantic. But as I am honing my screen writing skills and need to have more theatrical experience in actual theatres, and not just inside my house, then I agreed to review ‘Do We Do The Right Thing?’ by Neil Walker, who was raised as a ‘PADBRAT’ (a son of the serving who lived in military quarters) to an army Sergeant in the 60s and 70s.
The play, which is an anthology of real voices, interpreted and presented by a cast ensemble of four actors, Neil Walker, Craig Hendry, Joanna Waters and Luke Shepherd, was inspired by the BBC documentary ‘The Town That Remembers’ about the Royal Wootton Bassett, the impact of the re-patriation of those killed in combat on the town dwellers and the ripple effect of death in combat. The play, written by Neil Walker, uses transcripts of those he interviewed and his own family life to construct a narrative, which seamlessly transcends through a 100 years of death in combat. It also addresses Neil’s own personal conflict – what does it mean to be a man? He was raised by a dedicated patriarchal military sergeant; but knew from a young age that he was gay and that he didn’t want to serve his country and put his life on the line. Instead pursued hobbies, such as horse-riding, to please his father and gain his medal of manhood. The military definition of what maketh the man is very clear and draconian and no doubt every step of Neil’s creative journey has led him to ask the question ‘am I really a man?’
The military is a collective body that relies on uniformity. It attracts similar personality types and if they don’t fit the mould it reshapes them to be the mould. As a collective and mass moving body; it relies on order and hierarchy to deliver the mission in an operational effective way. It is not agile, flexible and free thinking. But by joining a male dominated organisation that makes you dress the same, think the same and act the same; in my opinion this is not what makes a man.
Men respond. It takes discipline, patience, and maturity to filter and think about other people before responding. A response requires thought, whereas a reaction is instinctual. Men are willing to examine their defects. They practice transparency and non-defensiveness. They express how they feel. They don’t try to be someone they are not. They handle confrontations by acknowledging, taking responsibility, and making choices. Then they move forward, changed. Men have a cause. Fighting for a position in life. Expressing art. Sharing gifts. Improving. Something he believes in, even if others don’t. Whether it’s one’s character, or an empire, men build. Men take action. Men change. They “fix” their relationship. Stop drinking, cheating, spending, hiding, and numbing. They take action and climb that mountain daily. If they fall down over and over; they keep getting back up. They put their money where their mouth is.
Neil Walker is a man; a man who asks questions, and together with the innovation and direction of Tommy Lexen, and the collaboration of the team at the Be Frank Theatre company, collectively they have created a moving and heart wrenching journey, which analyses the ripples of war across the last 100 years.
Do We Do The Right Thing was sympathetic; but not patronising, or condescending. I took my 11 year old son to watch it. It was hard viewing for him and it made him very sad; but he made it to the end. Hagar and I felt it was important that he saw life extends beyond the consumer based fun filled existence of computer games and his own needs.
I would like to live in a world without war, and yet, I live inside the war machine. From inside the war machine I am privileged to have greater insight into the machinations of the beast than some of those interviewed for the play. From the outside the war machine is a complex puzzle, driven by governments and politics with agendas, outside the comprehension of the person on street. In Wootton Bassett crowds gathered and paid tribute to the war dead because it was the right thing to do; but the mass gathering affected the town. It brought the war home to them when some would prefer to bury their head in the sand.
Whilst the play is not political there is a hint of discontent at Blair and Bush; but then this is tempered with;
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
In my opinion, Bush and Blair created this holy war on purpose because they are both Christian fundamentalists, and didn’t they do well, because in this era of ISIS the war continues on. Sometimes the line between good and evil becomes very blurred indeed.
The play echoes the sentiment of many modern dilemmas in a liberal society, where the freedom to express and choose our destiny is not seen as a luxury, but a right. The journey is complex. Men need war and war needs men. But we cannot criticise those who pay the ultimate sacrifice to fight in conflicts some don’t support, but instead we must remember their sacrifice.
I think this quote sums it up:
Did We Do The Right Thing is thought provoking and heart wrenching; but don’t take my word for it see it for yourself.
Next show:
The BikeShed, Exeter - 10 November 2014 – 19:30
Tickets: £12 (£8 Concessions)
Web: http://www.bikeshedtheatre.co.uk/whats-on/do-we-do-the-right-thing/
Box Office: 01392 434 169
Old Fire Station, Oxford – 18-19 February 2015
About BeFrank Theatre Company
BeFrank is a London-based international theatre company that produces ambitious, visually engaging and thought-provoking productions based on real life stories, current topics and key social and political events that together form the global society we are a part of. We collaborate across multiple disciplines and bring together theatre makers, musicians, academics, journalists and political experts to explore different perspectives on important subjects and current events happening all around the world.
We aim to reach the heart of these issues by travelling to the places and meeting the people involved with each event and hearing their stories first hand. We strive to discover the human story behind the headlines and show the perspectives others are afraid to tackle.
Our process is based upon extensive research and development, field studies and an exploration of digital technologies and storytelling. Our vision is to produce performances of the highest artistic and intellectual quality as well as being engaged, interesting and accessible for a wider audience.
The company was formed in 2010 by artistic director Tommy Lexen and has since then developed into an ensemble and creative team from seven different countries and four continents. As a company we aim to bridge the gaps between diverse communities and create dialogues that can inspire social change.
The post Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
November 8, 2014
Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company
I always approach military events with a certain degree of caution. Non military perceptions of military existence are often ill informed and romantic. But as I am honing my screen writing skills and need to have more theatrical experience in actual theatres and not inside my house, then I agreed to review ‘Do We Do The Right Thing?’ by Neil Walker, who was raised as a ‘PADBRAT’ (a son of the serving who lived in military quarters) to an army Sergeant in the 60s and 70s.
The play, which is an anthology of real voices, interpreted and presented by a cast ensemble of four actors, was inspired by the BBC documentary ‘The Town That Remembers’ about the Royal Wootton Bassett and the impact of the re-patriation of those killed in combat on the town dwellers and the ripple effect of death in combat. The play written by Neil Walker, uses transcripts of those he interviewed and his own family life to construct a narrative which seemlessly transcends through a 100 years of death in combat. It also addresses Neil’s own personal conflict – what does it mean to be a man? He was raised by a dedicated patriarchical military sergeant; but knew from a young age that he was gay and that he didn’t want to serve his country and put his life on the line. Instead pursued hobbies, such as horseriding, to please his father and gain his medal of manhood. The military definition of what maketh the man is very clear and draconian and no doubt every step of Neil’s creative journey has lead himself to ask the question ‘am I really a man?’
The military is a collective body that relies on uniformity. It attracts similar personality types and if they don’t fit the mould it reshapes them to be the mould. As a collective and mass moving moving body; it relies on order and heirarchy to deliver the mission in an operational effective way. It is not agile, flexible and free thinking. But by joining a male dominated organisation that makes you dress the same, think the same and act the same in my opinion is not what makes a man.
Men respond. It takes discipline, patience, and maturity to filter and think about others people before responding. A response requires thought, meta-cognition. A reaction is instinctual. Men are willing to examine their defects. They practice transparency and non-defensiveness. They express how they feel. They don’t try to be someone they’re not. They handle confrontations by acknowledging, taking responsibility, and making choices. And they move forward, changed. Men have a cause. Fighting for one’s position in life. Expressing art. Sharing gifts. Improving. Something he believes in, even if others don’t. Whether it’s one’s character or an empire, men build. Men take action. Men change. They “fix” their relationship. Stop drinking, cheating, spending, hiding, and numbing. They take action and climb that mountain daily. If they fall down over and over; they keep getting back up. They put their money where their mouth is.
Neil Walker is a man; a man who asks questions, and together with the innovation and direction of Tommy Lexen, and the collaboration of the team at the Be Frank Theatre company, they collectively have created a moving and heart wrenching journey, which analyses the ripples of war across the last 100 years.
Do We Do The Right Thing was sympathetic; but not patronising or condescending. I took my 11 year old son to watch it. It was hard viewing for him and it made him very sad; but he made it to the end. Hagar and I felt it was important that he saw life extends beyond the consumer based fun filled existence of computer games and his own needs.
I would like to live in a world without war and yet I live inside the war machine. From inside the war machine I am privileged to have greater insight into the machinations of the beast than some of those interviewed for the play. From the outside the war machine is a complex puzzle, driven by governments and politics with agendas outside the comprehension of the person on street. In Wootton Bassett crowds gathered and paid tribute to the war dead because it was the right thing to do but the mass gathering affected the town. It brought the war home to them when some would prefer to bury their head in the sand.
Whilst the play is not political there is a hint of discontent at Blair and Bush; but then this is tempered with;
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
In my opinion, Bush and Blair created this holy war on purpose because they are both Christian fundamentalists and didn’t they do well because in this era of ISIS the war continues on. Sometimes the line between good and evil becomes very blurred indeed.
The play echoes the sentiment of many modern dilemmas in a liberal society where the freedom to express and choose our destiny is not seen as a luxury but a right. The journey is complex. Men need war and war needs men. But we cannot criticise those who pay the ultimate sacrifice to fight in conflicts some don’t support, but instead we must remember their sacrifice.
I think this quote sums it up:
Did We Do The Right Thing is thought provoking and heart wrenching; but don’t take my word for it see it for yourself.
Next show:
The BikeShed, Exeter - 10 November 2014 – 19:30
Tickets: £12 (£8 Concessions)
Web: http://www.bikeshedtheatre.co.uk/whats-on/do-we-do-the-right-thing/
Box Office: 01392 434 169
Old Fire Station, Oxford – 18-19 February 2015
About BeFrank Theatre Company
BeFrank is a London-based international theatre company that produces ambitious, visually engaging and thought-provoking productions based on real life stories, current topics and key social and political events that together form the global society we are a part of. We collaborate across multiple disciplines and bring together theatre makers, musicians, academics, journalists and political experts to explore different perspectives on important subjects and current events happening all around the world.
We aim to reach the heart of these issues by travelling to the places and meeting the people involved with each event and hearing their stories first hand. We strive to discover the human story behind the headlines and show the perspectives others are afraid to tackle.
Our process is based upon extensive research and development, field studies and an exploration of digital technologies and storytelling. Our vision is to produce performances of the highest artistic and intellectual quality as well as being engaged, interesting and accessible for a wider audience.
The company was formed in 2010 by artistic director Tommy Lexen and has since then developed into an ensemble and creative team from seven different countries and four continents. As a company we aim to bridge the gaps between diverse communities and create dialogues that can inspire social change.
The post Do We Do The Right Thing? By Neil Walker & The Be Frank Theatre Company appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 28, 2014
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Taking some ‘me time’
5th November it is National Stress Awareness Day leading life coach Sophia Davis suggests that taking just five minutes a day for ‘you’ can help decrease stress levels. Taking a moment for ourselves helps us to gain a greater sense of calm and clarity. This helps to decrease our stress and anxiety levels, therefore leaving us more relaxed.
There are also scientific health benefits behind many of Sophia’s and healthy biscuit’s go ahead! tips. For example, hugging instantly boosts oxytocin levels, healing feelings of loneliness, isolation and anger and laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect against heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems.
Always look on the bright side of life
The top feel good moments from healthier biscuit brand go ahead! research are:
1. Walking in sunshine
2. Getting into fresh bed sheets
3. Going on a walk in the countryside
4. Someone saying they like what you’re wearing
5. The smell of sea air
6. Receiving flowers
7. Someone pulling out of a space in a busy car park just as you arrive
8. Having a cuddle
9. A kiss from your partner
10. Laughing so much it hurts
11. Getting ready to go on holiday
12. Walking barefoot on sand
13. A hug from your child
14. Listening to your favourite song
15. Listening to the rain
16. Smell of freshly cut grass
17. A smile from a baby
18. Putting on your favourite item of clothing
19. Singing along to favourite songs in the car
20. A lie in on a Sunday morning
Facts and Stats from go ahead! research:
· 44 per cent of Brits would choose their partner as the person who’d cheer them up the most
· Around a quarter (24%) would be happier receiving a hug from a loved one than receiving £100
· 1 in 3 (33%) of us smile three to five times a day because of simple, free pleasures
· Three quarters (76%) of women said receiving flowers make them feel good – they’re also twice as likely to feel good after someone compliments their clothing than men are (62% vs 30%)
The post Always Look on the Bright Side of Life appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 27, 2014
The War Is Over – #AfghanistanWithdrawal – A Historical View From My Home Front
The war in Afghanistan is finally over for UK Plc, and yesterday the closure of Camp Bastion was announced. I thought as a tribute to a conflict that dominated my family life for over a decade, I would collate some of the You Tube videos, an audio excerpt from my book ‘A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline’ and also, my 11 year old son’s song, Messed Up World asking for the fighting to stop for you to get a sense of the conflict from our home front.
I paid a heavy price. The stress of the conflict cost me my marriage, and it also changed my husband forever. It changed me forever. Inside, a little part of me died, and I know that we got off so lightly compared to many.
I’m glad it’s over and I am relieved that I am not in the endless churn of the stress of back to back to deployments; but the sad truth is that will be other wars to fight and at somepoint, I have no doubt, we as a family will be thrown back into the shadow of another conflict. In the interim, I am going to enjoy the peace.
Please support these military charities as their work will be cut out for them in the future as the fallout begins:
Hagar Goes To Afghanistan
Hagar Returns From Afghanistan
Hagar’s Fantasy Family – audio excerpt from my book ‘A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline’
Messed Up World by Ben Macnaughton and Anthony Clark
Buy on iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/messed-up-world-single/id766580199
The single is raising funds for SSAFA.
BUY MY NEW BOOK
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – Paperback
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – KINDLE
SUBSCRIBE TO My You Tube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/amodmilitarymum
Pilot TV show – AMMMTV
Huff Post UK
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/clare-macnaughton#
Blog
http://amodernmilitarymother.com
Consultancy
http://www.claremacnaughton.com
The post The War Is Over – #AfghanistanWithdrawal – A Historical View From My Home Front appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 24, 2014
Real Life: Unsupportive Wife Ruins One of UK’s Finest Soldier’s Career #Milspouse #Military
Recently, over lunch I heard an interesting tale about a military drink’s party where the military top brass were bitching like twittering birds amongst their peers about the disappointment they felt that a young, up and coming soldier, who had the potential to become a General, was throwing in his military towel and joining civvy street.
The words being uttered from the dusty, draconian military hierarchy were that the aforementioned soldier had an ‘unsupportive wife’. This was met with great disdain that this horrendous creature could be curtailing the career of such a fine soldier.
Wife ruins soldier husband’s career
Our friend who was relaying the story took it upon himself to dig a little deeper to unearth the truth behind this woeful tale. After barely digging at all he discovered that the reality was very different than the propagandist positioning being spread by the bitter beasts.
The soldier had been offered a ‘three line whip’ tour to Germany (he had no choice). His wife, who was a PAEDIATRIC ONCOLOGIST at a leading London hospital, was not willing to sacrifice her career to support his. As she was SAVING THE LIVES OF CHILDREN WHO HAVE CANCER and, also the main breadwinner, they both decided that her career took precedence over his military career. How very unsupportive of the evil succubus!
Yes; but don’t worry folks the military is a really progressive place and it doesn’t need reform at all. Despite being managed by many dinosaur, misogynist, traditionalists who don’t have the agility and vision to devise a military environment that creates mission focussed operational effectiveness and also, responds to the rapidly evolving society from which it recruits and performs within.
More tea anyone…..
This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton; a modern military mother; a feminist, British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.
BUY MY NEW BOOK
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – Paperback
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – KINDLE
SUBSCRIBE to my You Tube channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/amodmilitarymum
Pilot TV show – AMMMTV
The post Real Life: Unsupportive Wife Ruins One of UK’s Finest Soldier’s Career #Milspouse #Military appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
Unsupportive Wife Ruins One of UK’s Finest Soldier’s Career #Milspouse #Military
Recently, over lunch I heard an interesting tale about a military drink’s party where the military top brass were bitching like twittering birds amongst their peers about the disappointment they felt that a young, up and coming soldier, who had the potential to become a General, was throwing in his military towel and joining civvy street.
The words being uttered from the dusty, draconian military hierarchy was the aforementioned soldier had an ‘unsupportive wife’. This was met with great disdain that this horrendous creature could be curtailing the career of such a fine soldier.
Wife ruins soldier husband’s career
Our friend who was relaying the story took it upon himself to dig a little deeper to unearth the truth behind this woeful tale. After barely digging at all he discovered that the reality was very different than the propagandist positioning being spread by the bitter beasts.
The soldier had been offered a ‘three line whip’ tour to Germany (he had no choice). His wife who was a PAEDIATRIC ONCOLOGIST at a leading London hospital was not willing to sacrifice her career to support his. As she was SAVING THE LIVES OF CHILDREN WHO HAVE CANCER and also, the main breadwinner they both decided that her career took precedence over his military career. How very unsupportive of the evil succubus!
Yes; but don’t worry folks the military is a really progressive place and it doesn’t need reform at all, despite being managed by many dinosaur, misogynist, traditionalists that don’t have the agility and vision to devise a military environment that creates mission focussed operational effectiveness and also, responds to the rapidly evolving society from which it recruits and performs within.
More tea anyone…..
This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton; a modern military mother; a feminist, British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.
BUY MY NEW BOOK
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – Paperback
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – KINDLE
SUBSCRIBE to my You Tube channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/amodmilitarymum
Pilot TV show – AMMMTV
The post Unsupportive Wife Ruins One of UK’s Finest Soldier’s Career #Milspouse #Military appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 20, 2014
How to effortlessly remove household stains naturally
Red wine on the carpet. Tough grease on the oven. Incrustations on your bathroom tiles. Stains like these are the nemesis of time-strapped parents the world over. But here at Modern Military Mother, we’re not ones to give into the enemy easily. We will not resort to strategically placing a rug over the stain, getting used to the sticky oven or retiling the bathroom. So we’ve compiled some of the best ways for you to easily remove even the stubbornest stains.
Vinegar
A great natural stain remover is vinegar. For small household problems, such as a dirty microwave or kitchen counter, just use a spray bottle of white vinegar to wipe the dirt away. Have a smelly dishwasher? Just pour a couple of cups of white vinegar in the bottom and then run an empty cycle. We tried this and it made our dishwasher smell like new! Have stickers that are stuck onto something? Simply rub them with vinegar, let them sit for 10 minutes and then peel them off.
Vinegar is cheap, completely natural and kills bacteria like salmonella and E. Coli, so it’s a perfect everyday cleaning product.
Baking soda
Baking soda is another great and natural way to remove small, every day stains. If your fridge is starting to smell, just leave a small, open pot of baking soda in there and it will neutralise the odour. If you have burnt food stuck on your grill, you can pour a little baking soda on it and soak it for a couple of hours. Another great use is to clean hair brushes and combs. You can do this by soaking them in a baking soda and water solution.
Lemon
Similarly to vinegar and baking soda, lemon juice can also be used to get rid of common household stains. Remove dried on food from inside your dishwasher by rubbing it with lemon. Combine lemon with baking soda and water to clean your oven and hob. To prevent limescale on taps, rub a lemon on them, leave them overnight and then wash them in the morning. Best of all, lemon leaves a nice, refreshing scent when you use it.
Steam
For the most stubborn stains you need the ultimate in household cleaning. This is where steam cleaners come in. There’s no high-tech hygiene wizardry behind it, just steam that blasts off stains with minimal hassle on your part and maximum results. It’s super family- and environmentally-friendly because it uses no harsh chemicals. It’s perfect for households that have allergy sufferers in as it kills dust mites, gets rid of allergens, and does it all using steam.
We have to admit, the karcher steam cleaners in particular are an amazing piece of kit. Forget soaking, sponging, spraying chemicals, sponging again, scrubbing again, and giving up; because steam quickly and effortlessly gets rid of stains in a matter of seconds. Think that mould in that tricky-to-reach corner of the bath has beaten you? Think again. A quick blast of steam and it will be packing its bags and waving goodbye. The same with lime scale on the loo, grout and that unidentifiable gunk that builds up around plug holes. Just point the nozzle of the steam cleaner, aim, and fire!
This has to be our favourite form of cleaning, as it is really rather fun (yep, we never thought we’d say that cleaning was fun either!).
The post How to effortlessly remove household stains naturally appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
NSPCC teams up with Santa to help keep the magic of Christmas alive
Every year, parents go to great lengths to convince their children that Santa really does exist, continuing family traditions such as wrapping presents in different paper, eating Santa’s mince pie on Christmas night and even leaving ‘snowy footprints’ around the house. But it’s not easy, and even the most careful and creative can be caught out!
To help keep the magic of Christmas alive, the NSPCC has teamed up with Santa to send personalised letters to children both here in the UK and around the world – all for a suggested donation of just £5.
Requesting an NSPCC Letter from Santa is the perfect way to support a good cause and bring a smile to a child’s face this Christmas. Simply choose from a selection of colourful, beautifully illustrated styles and provide the child’s name, age, gender and a few other details, and Santa will write a personalised letter which will be delivered by ‘Rudolph mail’. Santa has even written a special poem to celebrate Baby’s First Christmas – a keepsake to treasure for years to come.
Director of the NSPCC’s ChildLine service, Peter Liver, said: “Christmas is a magical time for most children, full of family traditions and fun. However, as we know from the thousands of children who contact us throughout the festive period, for some it can be an incredibly difficult and lonely time.
“Help keep the magic of Christmas alive for a child you know by requesting a Letter from Santa and make a donation to help us be there for vulnerable children across the UK, providing someone for them to turn to when they need advice and support, this Christmas and beyond.”
Every £5 raised by Letter from Santa could help ChildLine be there whenever a child seeks help either online or by phone. Every £12 raised could help trained ChildLine Schools Service volunteers talk to one primary school child about abuse, giving them the confidence to talk and showing them who’s ready to listen. And every £50 raised could help an NSPCC practitioner deliver two hours of telephone support to anyone with concerns about a child.
Santa’s mailroom is open until 15 December 2014, and all those who request a Letter from Santa this year will be entered into a draw to win a Center Parcs holiday for a family of four.
Request your Letter from Santa from 1 October 2014 at www.nspcc.org.uk/santa or by calling 0845 839 9304.
The post NSPCC teams up with Santa to help keep the magic of Christmas alive appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 14, 2014
Real Life: PA to my Children – Is it time to get a job?
The last few years have been a rollercoaster, which I hope is finally running straight. The Grenade is now attending my old school, which was once a comprehensive but is now an academy. How things have changed since I attended school. It’s like learning a whole new language. I still have to say to myself that he is a ‘first year’ and then translate that into ‘year seven’. Over the years I have discussed on the blog his ‘special learning needs’ which have culminated in no formal diagnosis, other than hyper mobility. He definitely is an eccentric child, who needs a higher level of management than some. My house has to be run in a streamlined manner otherwise there is no way that he would stay on top of his homework and organise himself to keep up with the timetable. To be honest, I have found it exhausting as well because I know that if we drop one ball then it will have a domino effect and the house of cards will come tumbling down.
This is definitely different to my own childhood where I was left entirely to my own devices to sink or swim at senior school. I was always independent and self managing although I am sure I would have excelled had I had the same level support I am currently giving my son.
We have a strict routine where all visual devices are switched off between 6.30pm and 8pm to ensure that all homework is done and the school bag is prepped for the night before, including school clothes laid out. There is no way I would be able to get this ready in the morning, everything has to be done the night before. Even when I was working in an office, I had to choose my outfit the night before. I am not a morning person.
The Menace is now 6 years old and the Grenade is 11 years old and it’s time to move my life on. I have been freelance for 9 years and scrape together a living while raising two children. Part of me wants to go back to the security of a PAYE income but due to the destination I have chosen to live in any job worth doing financially, and also, that is akin to my skillset is a minimum 1 hour commute from where I live. This poses many challenges, not least being at least an hour away from my kids should a problem arise, because although Hagar lives 20 minutes away from us, he is still in the military and unable to be there for the children at the drop of a hat so the burden falls with me. Aside from that I just interviewed for a junior position beneath my experience and I still did not get the job despite interviewing well. A long term freelance mature female is not a good prospect for business it is definitely harder to re-enter the job market.
The Grenade is also about to undergo surgery on his teeth to help draw down his adult teeth and have a brace fitted. This will be an appointment every week throughout November. Having the flexibility of working in a freelance has it’s advantages; but the truth is I don’t have a pension, I am on a low income and I am in the parent trap which will continually disadvantage me as old age rapidly descends. The future of my family is more secure, which makes me happy; but my own goals of financial independence and a healthy pension seem to be continually just out of my reach. I am not giving up; but it’s back to the drawing board to sort out a world domination plan. Watch this space!
This blog is managed by Clare Macnaughton; a modern military mother; a feminist, British military spouse, and lifestyle journalist, writing about real life adventures.
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A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – Paperback
A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline – KINDLE
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The post Real Life: PA to my Children – Is it time to get a job? appeared first on Modern Military Mother .
October 13, 2014
Control the Controller: Understanding and Resolving Video Game Addiction
ADVANCE INFORMATION SHEET #SELF-HELP #GAMING #PSYCHOLOGY #ADDICTION
Control the Controller: Understanding and Resolving Video Game Addiction
By Ciaran O’Connor
Food for thought for families who are hooked on the Internet. We are that family.
UK Publication: October 1 2014 by Free Association Books
“The myth of gaming addiction being just about young guys playing for hours needs to be left behind. We need to realise how widespread the problem can be with mobile gaming taking the problem to new audiences from teens to middle aged women.” – Ciaran O’Connor.
“Games are either considered great for you, staving off ageing and improving cognitive skills, or they are treated like the devil. I decided to tackle the biggest area of contention: addiction, and create a book that gave a realistic picture that remained favourable towards both gamers and gaming. I wanted to see a pro-gaming approach to video game addiction,” says Ciaran O’Connor.
About Ciaran O’Connor
Ciaran O’Connor is a counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in the digital health and wellbeing of his clients. Many of his clients spend vast amounts of time gaming. Some of whom do this in a healthy and engaged way, some in a problematic or addicted way. Ciaran has struggled with problematic gaming; both as a boy and at times throughout his adult life. Having worked for four years as a game designer alongside being a therapist, Ciaran has a unique insight into how the industry works. His primary training as a psychotherapist is in the existential tradition; this is a modality that looks at fundamental fears in life that we all face. These are often the fears that addicted gamers must contend with.
About the new book…
Control the Controller provides an up-to-date perspective on video game addiction, which is in line with the rapid explosion of free-to-play and mobile-based gaming of the last five years. Ciaran O’Connor’s insights from working in the games industry allow him to expand current thinking on addiction to keep pace with these changes, going on to offer solutions to the problem for both gamers, loved ones, mental health workers and game developers.
The book begins with a realistic look at the harm that video games can cause, dispelling some of the more exaggerated myths of them as inherently harmful influences. It goes on to describe the nature of video game addiction, providing a checklist against which people can verify that what they are dealing with is addiction, problematic play or simply engaged gaming. Importantly, this section helps people to distinguish between someone who is addicted to video games and someone who just really likes playing games – two very different scenarios. Next is an overview of the arguments as to what causes video game addiction. The disease model, the addictive personality and the indications from neuroscience are all considered before looking at gaming addiction as an escape from distress – the book’s chosen stance on addiction. This is then expanded upon by looking at how pressures from both an internal world of uncomfortable thoughts or an external world of social pressures can both encourage a flight into games.
The final chapter gives a step-by-step process for managing the addiction back to a healthy behaviour. The approach used here is one of moderation first, abstinence later and while it does not advocate the 12-step model, it remains sympathetic to this position as an alternative if all else fails. Ciaran finishes with a nod to the future of gaming addiction before sealing the book’s sympathetic position to games, gamers and those that have to go through the pain of being close to an addicted gamer.
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