R.A. White's Blog, page 15
June 1, 2015
Alonca's Quest Update
So excited, I just finished writing the set-up scene to the teaser for Alonca's Quest (AQ) that can be found at the end of Kings of the Red Shell (KotRS). I'm not sure what possessed me to write that teaser scene in the first place--it would have made much more sense to insert an early scene with Jail and Rima or something--but I felt compelled to write it, and instead of just saving it in the AQ book file somewhere I added it to the end of KotRS. So of course I was obligated to make sure that scene actually happened in AQ. I'm glad I gave myself the challenge, because it has turned out well and added further tension to the story. I'm pretty sure that AQ has more tension than the first two books, anyway, but now it has even more. Not to the point of being a thriller, but… anyway, I can't wait to finish writing it so I can share it. I really think people are going to like it.
I've been sending my progress to a few brave souls for accountability and feedback, and although the feedback is usually in the form of things that need to be reconciled, I loved this reaction to an earlier scene, from a most helpful reader:
(KEPT ME COMPLETELY ENGAGED. BUT, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS ewwwwwwwwwe)
I guess all that was to say that I have been working on it, and others have been helping me with it, and I can't wait to be done. It's slow going, since even when I cut some things out to make more time for writing, somehow I just fill that time with something else. It's a self discipline issue. I guess I need to get on that.
I've been sending my progress to a few brave souls for accountability and feedback, and although the feedback is usually in the form of things that need to be reconciled, I loved this reaction to an earlier scene, from a most helpful reader:
(KEPT ME COMPLETELY ENGAGED. BUT, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS ewwwwwwwwwe)
I guess all that was to say that I have been working on it, and others have been helping me with it, and I can't wait to be done. It's slow going, since even when I cut some things out to make more time for writing, somehow I just fill that time with something else. It's a self discipline issue. I guess I need to get on that.
May 29, 2015
Things I've Learned/Been Reminded of Lately.
-Don't jump to conclusions when I walk into the bathroom to help wipe a hiney and my son is standing there in the process of lifting up the seat instead of sitting on it. Although I think he got off to play around, he might really just be trying to get on the seat because he accidentally sat down on the bare toilette. Don't scold without knowing the facts. In his words, 'I didn't recognize that the seat wasn't down, Mommy!'. Sometimes you just really gotta go and don't have time for trivial things like toilette seats.
-Listening to 'I Don't Need Anything but You' from the new Annie movie can make me cry even when I'm not hormonal. Adoption is so important not only because of my son, but also because I've been informally adopted by so many, myself. Shared history and values are important, but blood is a technicality. (The soundtrack is a new favorite, so I'm reminded often.)
-A good husband is invaluable. If you have one, thank God every day and get over his issues because lots of women have real losers, and that could have been you. (Friend going through divorce.)
-Kids will get REALLY excited about Kleenex box tops. (Boys at church.)
-Never, ever, trust a company/doctor's office/agency when they say they'll call you back. Especially when it's important. (Medical equipment company, pediatrician's office, eye doctor.)
-Doing what we want 'as long as it doesn't hurt anyone' is as low a standard as we can aim for. I WILL aspire to much more than that. (Andy Stanley.)
-I am a powerful person. I don't HAVE to do anything. I choose to do things because I want to do them or because I want to avoid consequences. Saying I HAVE to do something is just an excuse to be miserable and blame it on other people. It's weak and unfitting for a child of God. (Stephen Covey. Also, personal experience)
-I'm FAR more ignorant about history and holidays than I even thought. Until the book I'm currently reading, I had never heard of Juneteenth. (Boaz Brown, soon to be reviewed.)
-The Daredevil movie was even worse than people said it was. The show, on the other hand… graphic violence, but otherwise fan.tas.tic.
- Stop worrying over what was missed yesterday, and remember that every day is chockfull of limitless opportunity to do good. Opportunities may change, but it's not like we can run out of chances to do amazing things. Well, not until we die. We just have to do the best we can with what's set before us now. (John Ortberg. Also, the song 'Opportunity' from the movie Annie.)
-The shower won't clean itself. But closing the curtain is almost as good.
-Listening to 'I Don't Need Anything but You' from the new Annie movie can make me cry even when I'm not hormonal. Adoption is so important not only because of my son, but also because I've been informally adopted by so many, myself. Shared history and values are important, but blood is a technicality. (The soundtrack is a new favorite, so I'm reminded often.)
-A good husband is invaluable. If you have one, thank God every day and get over his issues because lots of women have real losers, and that could have been you. (Friend going through divorce.)
-Kids will get REALLY excited about Kleenex box tops. (Boys at church.)
-Never, ever, trust a company/doctor's office/agency when they say they'll call you back. Especially when it's important. (Medical equipment company, pediatrician's office, eye doctor.)
-Doing what we want 'as long as it doesn't hurt anyone' is as low a standard as we can aim for. I WILL aspire to much more than that. (Andy Stanley.)
-I am a powerful person. I don't HAVE to do anything. I choose to do things because I want to do them or because I want to avoid consequences. Saying I HAVE to do something is just an excuse to be miserable and blame it on other people. It's weak and unfitting for a child of God. (Stephen Covey. Also, personal experience)
-I'm FAR more ignorant about history and holidays than I even thought. Until the book I'm currently reading, I had never heard of Juneteenth. (Boaz Brown, soon to be reviewed.)
-The Daredevil movie was even worse than people said it was. The show, on the other hand… graphic violence, but otherwise fan.tas.tic.
- Stop worrying over what was missed yesterday, and remember that every day is chockfull of limitless opportunity to do good. Opportunities may change, but it's not like we can run out of chances to do amazing things. Well, not until we die. We just have to do the best we can with what's set before us now. (John Ortberg. Also, the song 'Opportunity' from the movie Annie.)
-The shower won't clean itself. But closing the curtain is almost as good.
May 20, 2015
Some Days...
Tell the boy he doesn't have to eat breakfast if he doesn't want to. Listen to the boy whine about everything because he's hungry but doesn't want to say so. Encourage him to at least eat some strawberries. Keep him from drying up the city of Dover while he's washing the strawberries. Tell him he needs to get pants on because we're going outside. Argue with him off and on for twenty minutes about putting those pants on and cleaning up his trucks. Waste ten or fifteen minutes trying to send an encouraging email to a troubled friend because the internet isn't working. Answer the door while the boy is still not wearing any pants. Let the boy wear plaid shorts that clash with his shirt and striped socks that would clash with pretty much anything. Learn that the AC repairmen are going to arrive in 20 minutes and scrap all plans of going outside any time soon. Vacuum the floor and close all doors to the messier rooms. Set the repairmen to work and then wash dishes so they don't think it's always this big of a disaster. Spend fifteen minutes folding one load of laundry because the boy is 'helping'. Keep the boy from drying up Camden's water reserves when he's 'washing' the strawberry bowl. Answer a call from sick friend while fending off the child. Read books with the boy. Answer the door again, this time to a stranger. Clean up the Jello the boy spilled in the fridge at some point during the morning. Work outside in the yard until the sun gets to me and it's time for lunch. Help the boy cook himself an egg. Clean up the third of an egg that somehow ended up on the stove and floor. Eat lunch together. Decide that the boy has been uncooperative enough (lots of little things) that he doesn't get a trip to the park. Let him earn the possibility of a trip back by putting things away after lunch. Have a problem with him getting into the magazines at the grocery and skip the trip to the park. Suffer a mild injury to my upper arm when the boy's elbow goes between the muscles during cuddle time. It's an accident, but so painful that between that and the added frustrations of the day, I have a crying fest. The crying fest is cut short by someone at the door. It's the Verizon man, an hour before he's supposed to arrive. Sop up my tears and let him in. Call the husband home to talk to him because I don't know what the heck is going on with the internet anyway. Deal with boy, Verizon, and phone calls for an hour until I abandon them all and take a nap. The rest of the day goes more or less normally, aside from the boy crying because he lost movie privileges. Clean up more Jello, this time in the fridge and on the floor. Play cards with him. Get a phone-tree notification at 8:45pm, and decide that I could get a couple of my calls in before 9pm even though Jonathan is already busy on another call and I know the boy will drive me crazy. Make calls while being made crazy. Watch as the boy dances on his collapse-able stool while grabbing my arm and somehow collapses it under himself. Hang up on friend and pray the boy's lung hasn't collapsed as well. Breathe a sigh of relief when he starts breathing on his own and doesn't have to be ventilated. Get him ready for bed and clean up the mess he made in his room while not watching a movie. Congratulate myself when he falls to sleep almost instantly, probably because he's exhausted from spending so much of the day with his hands over his head, which is our 'active' version of time out, since the last thing he needs is to build up more energy by sitting still.
I feel bad for anyone who actually read this, but I feel much better after spilling it all out onto virtual paper. When compared to friends who are struggling with cancer, divorce, unemployment, and depression, my bad day is nothing, and I know it. But it's MY bad day, and I still need to get past it so I can start over tomorrow. Then I can get started on that insurance application. Won't that be fun.
I feel bad for anyone who actually read this, but I feel much better after spilling it all out onto virtual paper. When compared to friends who are struggling with cancer, divorce, unemployment, and depression, my bad day is nothing, and I know it. But it's MY bad day, and I still need to get past it so I can start over tomorrow. Then I can get started on that insurance application. Won't that be fun.
May 19, 2015
Trooper Stories
1. One of Trooper's speech therapy homework questions was, 'What might a lady wear on her face?'
His answer, "A pretend mustache like at Easter time. That was funny."
If I owned make-up he would probably know what it is, but hey, when his teacher asked, "Who helps you check out books?" he was able to spontaneously answer 'the librarian', so he knows the important stuff.
2. I said, "Trooper, leave the oven door alone. You know you aren't supposed to play with it."
Trooper answered, "But Mom, I need to let fresh air in."
It turns out he had put a mango in there and he felt he needed to keep an eye on it. Once I realized what he'd done, I told him to put the mango in the fridge. A minute later I followed up with him. The fridge was open and the mango had escaped, rolling under the fridge door far enough away that Trooper couldn't reach it without going around the door, which of course he didn't do. Instead, he was lying on the floor with his arm under the door, trying to reach the mango with his fingertips.
Without him knowing I had seen, I asked, "Is in the fridge?"
"Almost, Mom."
3. Grandma White was visiting, and she and Trooper were talking in the living room. Trooper said, "You silly goose!"
"I'm not a goose," Grandma said.
Trooper thought that was hilarious. "No, you're a duck!" And then he must have called her 'duck' a few dozen times over the course of the day. I told her that from what I understand, 'duck' is a term of endearment in the UK.
4. In speech therapy, a question in the game was, 'What do bees do with flowers?'.
Trooper's answer, "They do pollination."
His therapist was at a loss for words for a moment, and then she congratulated him and said something about them also making honey (which of course he knows). Just don't ask him to identify the letters of the alphabet.
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May 12, 2015
Everything I do is at the Expense of Something Else
I've been doing some musing, lately, while on my walks or when I wake in the middle of the night, and one of the things that keeps coming back to me is the reality that everything I do is at the expense of something else. I'm writing this blog post instead of writing a book, I read a book to my son instead of vacuuming the carpet, I prepared dinner instead of taking a nap, I parent fulltime instead of being employed, I choose to focus on one child instead of gathering a household full, and I organize church events instead of cleaning my house or advancing my 'writing career'. Every day is filled with an infinite number of good (and bad) choices, and I can only do one at a time.
It's sobering. It is so important to make those choices count, and even more important not to sit around deliberating on them until the opportunity is past.
I've come to a point in my life where I believe the choices I consider are largely between good options, the main exceptions being food and how to handle people who are bothering me (I admit it, I do consider saying something nasty), but even still it can be hard to feel confident that I'm doing well. Any time I set aside one important area of my life (writing, for example) I feel like a slacker and like I'm missing my moment. But if I write instead of having that important conversation with so-and-so or spending time with my son, I feel guilty and like I'm overlooking things of long-term importance in favor of a self-fulfilling hobby.
The fruit of my musing? None, really, except that despite my inability to settle on any one choice as an absolute best, being constantly aware of the importance of choosing well is in itself a benefit. At least it helps me set aside things of less value more easily.
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this topic, the things you find yourself struggling between and the things you've given up for the sake of more important things. Please share.
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It's sobering. It is so important to make those choices count, and even more important not to sit around deliberating on them until the opportunity is past.
I've come to a point in my life where I believe the choices I consider are largely between good options, the main exceptions being food and how to handle people who are bothering me (I admit it, I do consider saying something nasty), but even still it can be hard to feel confident that I'm doing well. Any time I set aside one important area of my life (writing, for example) I feel like a slacker and like I'm missing my moment. But if I write instead of having that important conversation with so-and-so or spending time with my son, I feel guilty and like I'm overlooking things of long-term importance in favor of a self-fulfilling hobby.
The fruit of my musing? None, really, except that despite my inability to settle on any one choice as an absolute best, being constantly aware of the importance of choosing well is in itself a benefit. At least it helps me set aside things of less value more easily.
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this topic, the things you find yourself struggling between and the things you've given up for the sake of more important things. Please share.
Subscribe.
May 7, 2015
What Kind of Asian Are You?
May 4, 2015
Trooper Stories
Just a few. I hope you enjoy them!
-Trooper when learning something interesting: Oh, I should write that down.
(He spends too much time around me.)
-Trooper has a hard time believing that his last name is White like mine, because he's brown. Whenever I tell him his last name is White, he reminds me that his hands don't match mine. He said, "And look, my face is almost black." I tried convincing him that there are other brown people named White, and we even know some, and that there are light-skinned people named Black, Brown, and Green. I'm not sure if that worked. Time will tell.
-Trooper as he chases the cat around the house with a nerf gun: Come on, come on. I got you covered. (Too much Star Wars.)
-Trooper when he's about to get in trouble for locking and closing a bedroom door AGAIN: Wait! Where that door come from? Home Depot? Where you get it?
Here's where you subscribe to RA White Books and More.
-Trooper when learning something interesting: Oh, I should write that down.
(He spends too much time around me.)
-Trooper has a hard time believing that his last name is White like mine, because he's brown. Whenever I tell him his last name is White, he reminds me that his hands don't match mine. He said, "And look, my face is almost black." I tried convincing him that there are other brown people named White, and we even know some, and that there are light-skinned people named Black, Brown, and Green. I'm not sure if that worked. Time will tell.
-Trooper as he chases the cat around the house with a nerf gun: Come on, come on. I got you covered. (Too much Star Wars.)
-Trooper when he's about to get in trouble for locking and closing a bedroom door AGAIN: Wait! Where that door come from? Home Depot? Where you get it?
Here's where you subscribe to RA White Books and More.
April 28, 2015
April 27, 2015
the Necessity of Experience
Dear friends, I'm writing a guest post for a site called DiversifYA and I'd like some help. I have a draft written and I want people to look over it for me, to make sure it's top notch before I send it off. Best foot forward, as they say.
It's titled 'The Necessity of Experience' and talks about how to write realistic characters and places, particularly when they don't fit your personal experience. You don't have to be a writer to help me with this, so please volunteer!
If you can help, comment below or email me and I'll send it to you.
Thanks!
It's titled 'The Necessity of Experience' and talks about how to write realistic characters and places, particularly when they don't fit your personal experience. You don't have to be a writer to help me with this, so please volunteer!
If you can help, comment below or email me and I'll send it to you.
Thanks!
April 17, 2015
Diverse Children's Books
Little Melba and Her Big Trombone by Katheryn Russell-Brown and Frank Morrison--Fantastic story about determination and the love of music, with beautiful art work.
Dizzy by Jonah Winter- The story of Dizzy and how he became a famous musician.
Before John Was a Jazz Giant: A Song of John Coltrane by Carole Boston Weatherford and Sean Qualls- A lovely read!
My Hands by Aliki-A simple book about hands.
Glasswings: A Butterfly's Story by Elisa Kleven- This is a beautiful book about a butterfly who gets lost in town and helps to turn an empty lot into a garden paradise.
Green is a Chile Pepper: A Book of Colors by Roseanne Thong- what a fun way to practice colors!
Going Places by Paul A. Reynolds- This book is about being smart and inventive, and literally thinking outside the box. Wonderful.
Rainbow Stew by Cathryn Falwell- What a nice story about learning with Grandpa and the joys of growing and eating real food.
Recycling Day by Edward Miller- People decide to clean up an empty lot and recycle everything. There's info on how things are recycled and the importance of it, as well as a simple but engaging story to go with it.
Lola Plants a Garden by Anna McQuinn and Rosalind Beardshaw- A simple, cute story about a girl's flower garden.
My "c" book- a child finds things that begin with the letter 'c'.
My "a" book- a child finds things that begin with the letter 'a'.
ABC Kids by Basher- This is one of many cool ABC books out there. The artwork is simple and fun, very diverse, and every word on each page begins with the featured letter, for example, 'Walter's worms wear white wigs'. Trooper loves the silliness.
Subscribe.
Dizzy by Jonah Winter- The story of Dizzy and how he became a famous musician.
Before John Was a Jazz Giant: A Song of John Coltrane by Carole Boston Weatherford and Sean Qualls- A lovely read!
My Hands by Aliki-A simple book about hands.
Glasswings: A Butterfly's Story by Elisa Kleven- This is a beautiful book about a butterfly who gets lost in town and helps to turn an empty lot into a garden paradise.
Green is a Chile Pepper: A Book of Colors by Roseanne Thong- what a fun way to practice colors!
Going Places by Paul A. Reynolds- This book is about being smart and inventive, and literally thinking outside the box. Wonderful.
Rainbow Stew by Cathryn Falwell- What a nice story about learning with Grandpa and the joys of growing and eating real food.
Recycling Day by Edward Miller- People decide to clean up an empty lot and recycle everything. There's info on how things are recycled and the importance of it, as well as a simple but engaging story to go with it.
Lola Plants a Garden by Anna McQuinn and Rosalind Beardshaw- A simple, cute story about a girl's flower garden.
My "c" book- a child finds things that begin with the letter 'c'.
My "a" book- a child finds things that begin with the letter 'a'.
ABC Kids by Basher- This is one of many cool ABC books out there. The artwork is simple and fun, very diverse, and every word on each page begins with the featured letter, for example, 'Walter's worms wear white wigs'. Trooper loves the silliness.
Subscribe.
