Everything I do is at the Expense of Something Else

I've been doing some musing, lately, while on my walks or when I wake in the middle of the night, and one of the things that keeps coming back to me is the reality that everything I do is at the expense of something else. I'm writing this blog post instead of writing a book, I read a book to my son instead of vacuuming the carpet, I prepared dinner instead of taking a nap, I parent fulltime instead of being employed, I choose to focus on one child instead of gathering a household full, and I organize church events instead of cleaning my house or advancing my 'writing career'. Every day is filled with an infinite number of good (and bad) choices, and I can only do one at a time.

It's sobering. It is so important to make those choices count, and even more important not to sit around deliberating on them until the opportunity is past.

I've come to a point in my life where I believe the choices I consider are largely between good options, the main exceptions being food and how to handle people who are bothering me (I admit it, I do consider saying something nasty), but even still it can be hard to feel confident that I'm doing well. Any time I set aside one important area of my life (writing, for example) I feel like a slacker and like I'm missing my moment. But if I write instead of having that important conversation with so-and-so or spending time with my son, I feel guilty and like I'm overlooking things of long-term importance in favor of a self-fulfilling hobby.

The fruit of my musing? None, really, except that despite my inability to settle on any one choice as an absolute best, being constantly aware of the importance of choosing well is in itself a benefit. At least it helps me set aside things of less value more easily.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this topic, the things you find yourself struggling between and the things you've given up for the sake of more important things. Please share.

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