Evan Sanders's Blog, page 89

Dreams Are Like Running On Water

The best way to see the future is to create it. Now there is an element of surprise in this whole equation, but the reality is you can create your future with the gifts you have been given. I sometimes find it hard to “agree” or have conversations with people who believe that life is just all planned out for you and that all you have to do is put your hands in…whatever you believe…that that it will turn out.

Believing without action is, well, I don’t even know what to call it. But like I said before, I think we all have specific gifts. No two people are the same, and everyone has certain cards they are dealt right from the start. We begin in different places, we are different people, we have different things – but in the end, it comes down to the dreamers who combine their work ethic with integrity that end up changing the world.

When you are chasing your dream, it’s going to be hard. There are going to be times that knock you down on your ass and you are going to have a hard time getting back up. You may lay there stunned for a while, but always fall on your back. Fall on your back so you can look up and get up. Let your dreams and the reasons for accomplishing your dreams be the reasons to help you get back up when misery visits you.

There are a lot of reasons to be unsure of yourself. Following a passion is a lot like being told that running on water is possible and then giving it a shot. First, you have to muster up the courage to actually have faith in the fact that you can run on the water itself. Then, you actually have to start running. And the way dreams end up working is that if you give it anything less than a full effort, you are going to make a fool out of yourself crashing into the water. You have to run full tilt at something you cannot see yet. You have to believe in the unbelievable.

Be an unreasonable person.

Don’t have excuses for why you can’t. Those are easy to come by. If I wrote a book on excuses I have had for my life, I could probably fill up an entire series of novels. But this book is going to be titled “I’m the one.” I’m the one who is chosen for this dream. It is my responsibility to carry out the greatness that is inside of me.

Believe in yourself. Let your game speak. Let your actions speak louder than your words.

- Evan Sanders

The post Dreams Are Like Running On Water appeared first on The Better Man Project.

The Answer: Consistency & Determination

How determined you are is a direct reflection of how much you believe in yourself. If you decide that this battle you are fighting is not over till you win, then you will accomplish what you have set out to do. Many people quit because they hit roadblocks and blow out a tire. Quitting on your dream because you blew out a tire is like walking outside to see the damage, realize you have blown a tire out, and take a knife and slash all your other tires out.

Don’t do that.

Know exactly what you want and decide that you will have a ruthless commitment to your quest to achieve it.  Like I said before…it is not over till I win.

I am on a roll. I have been getting after it the past 3-4 days and I am in an incredibly good place. I am in a place to dump out a lot of writing and talk about some things that I was scared to talk about before. I am in a place, most of all, to be “unreasonable.”

Unreasonable?

There is no reason in my mind that I will not achieve this goal. I will attempt until it’s done. I will have nor create any excuse to not achieve it. I will be unreasonable.

Decide what you are going to do. Keep it simple. Dominate.

- Evan Sanders

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Why Being Constantly Challenged Is The Best Thing For You

 

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

- Eleanor Roosevelt.

For me, living in the face of fear has been almost a constant battle. But I have decided to act in the face of fear. I have made the decision to be ruthless in my commitment to my word. Because I know that without it, no matter how nice you are, you just end up being another talking head.

 

You gain a little bit of extra courage every single time you indeed face fear and act despite its presence. I haven’t always been good at this. But that is why this whole project is such a great learning experience. I get to see what I am good at and what I am bad at – no matter how maddening that may be at times.

Focus on the little things. If you can do the little things right, you will gain momentum and give yourself the chance to do the big things right.

Success is the combination of  consistent action and patience. There are many reasons why my adventure is worth it to me. I’ve been told that you have to have 5 reasons to for why it is worth it. I wrote mine down today. I have 11.

Im on a 100 day journey to realize my potential.

No matter how bad it may get. No matter how hard it may be. It’s not over until I win.

99 days left

- Evan Sanders

The post Why Being Constantly Challenged Is The Best Thing For You appeared first on The Better Man Project.

The Story Begins

Give me strength.

Give me courage.

Give me the ability to believe in what I cannot see and persevere until I make it tangible.

Give me the ability to heal.

Give me the ability to walk even though my feet will be shaking.

Give me that spark even though things may turn blacker than black.

Give me a clear mind and a steady heart.

I know my faith and courage will never be tested more than now. This day has been coming for the past 8 years and I have hid from it, run from it, and disguised it from others view in an expert manner. I am ready.

I enter into the war of my life.

- Evan Sanders

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Have The Courage To Walk Away

There’s this really interesting balancing act between walking away from people who don’t treat you well, respect you enough to respond to you, or simply don’t act like you mean much to them. In one hand you want to be close with as many people as you can and you reach out trying to make new friends. In the other hand you have this respect for yourself and pride in how you act. The middle ground is hard to find at times. It is something that I struggle with over and over again. At what point do you hold your head up high and walk on?

I hold myself to a high standard. A lot of the time I find myself not wanting to do something but doing it anyways because I know the other person deserves that. I know that is what I would want if the situation was switched around. But I feel a lot of the time people don’t do that for me. I don’t know if this is just my generation, but it has become increasingly popular for people to just not respond to you, not take seconds out of their day to recognize effort, and just hide. I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand what makes people do this. Is it a lack of respect? Do you just not like me? Do you just not care?

As I go through life, things have become more intense. I give my heart out to people in a way that I have never been capable of before – and I love that about myself. But at the same time I have experienced more and more attitudes that are just the biggest turnoffs in the world. I try to find that balance between giving people chances, more often that not many, and deciding to walk away. It’s hard to let people go especially when there is no big blowup of any sort. It’s hard to turn off trying to bring other people joy. Because that’s what it really comes down to for me. I try to bring others as much joy as I can throughout the day. I try to make people smile. I try to give them a little leg up, some confidence, some spark to their day that might just make it all that much better. I don’t expect them to do the same for me…but I do look for respect, and if it’s not there, I don’t try to convince them…I just end up leaving.

Yesterday was the tornado warning, today is like the morning after
Your world is torn in half.
You wake and let’s wait to start the morning process
Rebuilding and you’re still a work in progress.
Today is a whole new chapter, it’s like an enormous ass.
The thunderstorm has passed ya.
Your weather didn’t poke his eyes out with the thorn bush that you used to smell the roses.
Stopped to inhale, can’t even tell your nose is stuffed.
So focused on the bright side.
Then you floor the gas pedal and hit the corner fast,
The more asserted, never looking back, may hit the curb,
But everyday is a new learning curve as you steer through life.
Sometimes you might not wanna swerve but you have to to avert a disaster.
Lucky, no permanent damage,
‘Cause they hurt you so bad.
It’s like they murdered your ass and threw dirt on your casket,
But you returned from the ashes.
And that hurt that you have, you just converted to gasoline,
And while you’re burning the past, standing at inferno and chant


So familiarize what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it’s as though you feel you’ve died because you’ve been killed inside
But yet you’re still alive which means you will survive
Although today you may weep because you’re weak and
Everything seems so bleek and hopeless
The light that you’re seeking, it begins to seep in
That’s the only thing keeping you from leaping off the motherfreaking deep end
And I’m pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healing
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you’re willing
To forgive them even after all that shit you been put through.
This feeling of resilience is building.
And the flames are burning quick as fire would through this building you’re sealed in
But you’re fireproof, and flame retardant you withstood it.
And as you climb up to the roof you’re just chillin’ and you look down
‘Cause you’re so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceiling.

As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remain the same
But tomorrow today’s gone down in flames
Throw the match, set the past up ablaze

- Eminem

 

Finding the balance has been incredibly hard on my heart lately. But in all honesty, I know what I have to do. I have to walk away. I have to respect myself enough, the type of person I am, and not settle for something less than I know what I deserve. You have to know what you are worth. If you don’t believe you are worth it, you will settle for anything. Remember, people only treat you by what you accept from them.

- Evan Sanders

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If You Help A Man See

If you help a man see himself as he truly wishes to be, he becomes much more than just a man. He becomes something greater. And I wish for you…I wish that your reach may always outstretch your grasp…because then you will spend the rest of your life dreaming and striving for more…and the world will benefit greatly from your journey.

If you help a man see himself beyond his fears, he does not become fearless, but rather a man who steps in the face of fear, walks through it, or plows over it with conviction. He becomes a man who sees the fleeting shadows of the material world for what they are instead of trying to grasp onto things that do not matter. He sees himself not for what he is right at this moment, but for what he is destined to be…a destiny he is a partner in creating.

If you help a man see himself beyond the chatter, the outside worlds opinions merely become grains of salt he indulges in sprinkling on his food once in a while rather than become overwhelmed by not knowing what his path is or why it is valuable to him. He finally understands that the distance between a dream and the present is dedication and demands his blood, sweat, and tears.

If you help a man see himself beyond his flaws, he begins to accept them, work on them, and improve rather than hide them from the world. He stands in front of everyone proclaiming “Judge me! For I am ready to take on what has been given to me!”

If you help a man see himself beyond the painting, he will start to discover what is outside of the frame.

- Evan Sanders

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Try Amping Up That Thing Called Love

There’s a reason why it is the first part of my motto. Love – Passion – Never Quit. Recently I have added one of the most important words there s out there: Integrity. But that is for another post. Today I want to talk about love. It’s amazing what adding some love in your life can do. I used to think that love was just for the people you were in a relationship with…and my family. But what has truly made my life blossom was coming to the realization that you can love everyone. Not in a fruity unrealistic way mind you, but down to your core. Down to the fundamental characteristics that morph and shape you throughout time.

Life is incredibly complicated and very simple all at the same time. It is full of black and white situations, and it also exists full of vibrant color. Life is a perfect mix of beautiful  contradictions and balance. The minute that you think you have it figured you are wrong. It’s full of ups and downs and when you are on top you are bound to get grounded. That’s the coolest part. If you can get out of your own way you can open yourself up to the learning that is about to be imparted upon you. I found out that holding hate, pain, hurt, and regret in your heart makes you very very cold. You begin to see the worst in people and things that you focus on begin to happen over and over again. You begin to shut yourself off from the very thing that is going to save you because you think that vulnerability is going to destroy you instead of lift you up. The only hands you trust are your own and putting yourself in the hands of another is a doubtful proposition at best. Dark attracts dark. And boy do things become very dark.

You can live like this.

You can live like this, but your life is going to lack some pretty important things. I am never going to be the person that tells you there aren’t consequences to living a positive, trusting, respectful, heartfelt life. You are going to get hated on, have your trust broken to pieces, be disrespected in the finest of ways and have some darkness try to sneak back in time and time again to dim things down. Some awesome insults are going to be thrown your way…ones that are so good you will probably never forget them.

But hey…if you are going to stand in the kitchen you better be willing to take the heat.

Because it’s all worth it. It’s worth all of the crap you are going to be put through because in the end you will be happy as a  clam. You will be shamelessly dancing in the shower, singing at the top of your lungs even though your voice could kill a flock of birds, developing crows feet on your face because your smile is so wide and continuing to show up every single day to play in the game of life. You will be on the field trying to make things happen, failing your ass off, and diving right back in for more.

It’s easy to protect yourself. It’s easy to not get into something because of the possibility that it won’t work out. It’s easy to cage that heart up because of getting burned in the past. And like I said before, you can live like that. I’m not here to tell you that the way you are doing things is wrong. There are a million ways to live. I am here to tell you what has worked for me. To show another way. To show that there are different perspectives out there – and this one is just one of many. This one has brought me a massive amount of happiness and I am sure that my perspective will change over time – like it has many many times.

Baby, love never felt so good.

- Evan Sanders

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Don’t Lose A Diamond While Chasing Glitter

It took me a long time to realize the importance of quality over quantity. Maybe it’s the society we live in where typically more is better and getting free stuff is an attractive offer. It’s easy to get caught up in going for the cheapest thing on the table because it’s typically the most accessible thing to get. Thing is, this doesn’t challenge you. I am a firm believer in the fact that there are things, people, and goals that can only be reached when you grow into them. You aren’t ready yet. The day that you can look yourself in the face and tell yourself that you aren’t yet built to tackle something is a very grounding, honest, and yet above all is…inspiring day

I think most people are disappointed in life not because they aim to high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.

You have to be willing to make sacrifices for your own greater good.

You have to be willing to put your name on the board, but a goal with it, and give it everything you have.

And here’s the kicker, you have to be willing to elevate yourself at least 1% each and every day in order to turn yourself into something amazing.

I tell this story all the time when people ask me about the project and where it came from. I tell the story about how I sat down at my desk a miserable, lost, completely unmotivated, horrible writer and decided that I was going to turn it around. I found motivation through dumping feelings out and finding my potential. I became a decent writer by doing it every single day. I found happiness in my search to become a better man.

I’ve been pondering over the past few months with an idea that has really sparked my interest. It’s been primarily centered around my own project and what has given me the most joy. What I came to was this.

I didn’t search for happiness. I didn’t try to be happy. I didn’t partake in the typical “just be happy” nonsense. I improved on myself, did the things that I knew would make me happy, and when it was right I let happiness find me.

There’s so much out there about being happy… but I think anything, especially when it’s involved around an emotion, when tried at too hard can actually turn out to be a disaster or completely inauthentic. I think, in the long run, making incremental improvements on yourself and letting happiness find you because you are being the best version of yourself that you can possibly be will deliver you greater joy in the long run.

The foundation of your greatest self is going to be built upon sacrifice. Are you willing to do the things today that others don’t do? Are you willing to do the things that you know you are capable of but are really hard? It’s hard to look yourself in the face sometimes and say “I am going to compete with my potential today.”

What sacrifices are you going to make?

- Evan Sanders

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You’re Right Forrest. It Certainly Is.

In time when we give ourselves enough time to breathe and enjoy life, we experience moments of weight falling off of our shoulders. We gain the courage to face our fears and the obstacles that lay in front of us dead in the face without doubt or worry. We begin dreaming of adventures to come and what we are capable of.

And that is what I want to talk about today.

We are capable of so many things. I will admit, there will be times in your life when you are going to feel incapable of doing anything right. Life will life you as I always say. Sometimes it isn’t the right moment to really go after it. Those times usually come when the past is stacking up against you. First you have to take care of the old to bring the new into your life. I am a firm believer in that.

The journey is the gift. They say this in philosophy…they say this many times throughout life, but in all honesty I haven’t set out on another journey yet and seen the goal at the end within my grasp.

This is going to be incredibly hard to admit, but every single journey I have gone on has ended short because the my dream of becoming a professional baseball player was shattered along with my elbow. I start getting cold feet and usually find some way to sabotage it on my own before life can ruin in for me.

But there is that resilience there. That resilience that tells me to continue trying and giving it a shot. It’s telling me to try over and over again and come up against that fear and become comfortable with in. To walk with in stead of run from it.

Losing baseball was the best thing that happened to me.

I really need to live with that. When I lost baseball, I became a man. I started to focus on what really mattered and matured through life experiences good and bad. It’s hard to live with that reality sometimes, but deep down in my heart I know it is the truth.

So my new journey begins tomorrow morning 5 am sharp.

To all of my fans out there who have supported me like crazy and encouraged me day in and day out…thank you. Thank you for sticking with me while I go to battle over and over again. Thank you for not calling me a failure even though I was failing. It means the world to me.

Glasses up to encouraging each other and making the world a better place.

- Evan Sanders

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I’ve Been Away For A While

When you’ve been away for some time, you tend to get a little nervous right before you sit down to write again. But as soon as the keys start tapping or the pen stars to scribble away, that nervousness sifts away like sand through your fingers.

For the past four months I have had my soul tortured by something that I never thought would happen. I’ve gone back and read letters, I’ve run through things in my head over and over again, and I’ve even come to the place where I could bring closure to the entire thing. But even in that moment after “closure” I walked away confused because there was this metallic taste in my mouth that I could not ignore. It’s taken me a long time to understand what that instinctual feeling was, but as things have become clearer as emotions have settled to the bottom of the sea and my eyes have been cleared of the dust from being knocked on my ass…I understand.

Trust.

When you lose your ability to trust what someone is saying or their actions things are headed in a really bad direction. You spend your time wondering if what is being presented is actually the real deal or if it is some carefully manipulated and concocted version in order to make you smile. I have always been one to take people at their word and I am inherently very trusting…in fact…that is usually what gets me into these messes in the first place. And while I do get wrapped up in things sometimes, I would rather be a trusting person instead of one who is consistently cynical and pessimistic of other people.

However.

This is probably the biggest however I have ever learned. Learn how to love and lead with your heart, but never forget your head. Someone once said that “Compassion is at the heart of every little thing we do.  It is the dearest quality we possess, yet all too often it can be cast aside with consequences too tragic to speak of. To lose our compassion, we lose what it is to be human.” I think this is very true. In the times I have lost my compassion for other people, I have felt cold and dark inside. In a world where people trash you, disrespect you, question you in ways they shouldn’t and say things about you usually without consequences…it is easy to lose our compassion for people. It is easy to let the bastards grind you down and make you worse. And when they have – they’ve won.

You have to stand for something much more than just being a man.

When you represent an ideal or a group of ideals, you become somethings much more than just a man. You can stand for peoples greatness. You can stand for the power of possibility. You can stand for love and compassion despite overwhelming opposition. But most importantly, you can stand for such things, and when you are feeling down…these principles with raise you up when you are in need.

It hasn’t been easy for me to get to this point, but I have buried what happened deep into the ground. The resentment, fear, and pain are covered in dirt and are there to rest. There’s something to be said for actually digging a hole in the ground, writing on pieces of paper all the ways something makes you feel, covering it up and tamping it flat. There’s something to be said for making that final decision to move forward with light and to accept the past…but never forget it.

We are only given as much as we can handle.

This phrase has been absolutely true for me throughout my entire life so far and it gives me a sense of hope that I am being challenged so much in order to build me into something great. These challenges never seem to end, and you know what, bring it. Keep layering them on, because I know there are reasons for them. Good things come from being tested over and over again with the intent of growth.

I’ve been away for a while. I left to go search for something and I found it. Can’t wait to share that here every day with you.

- Evan Sanders

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