Evan Sanders's Blog, page 101

Day (497) – Goodbye

Goodbye old foes
ancient limits
old crust
Goodbye rusty thoughts
painful memories
inaction
Goodbye old path
beaten to dust
well traveled by
Goodbye old life
its been real
and we are at peace
Welcome
the
new

Day (496) – Life’s Orchestra

Our lives morph, shift, melt and grow in one fluid perfect orchestra or action and inaction. There is a beautiful dance of events that occur throughout the years that brings us knowledge, experience, and most important of all – wisdom. We find ourselves. We lose ourselves. We develop into new people and we retract back into the persona of old. We dream big. We suffer at the hands of others and at the power of our minds. But that is living. The pursuit of something worthy over a period of time, never forgetting that we do not create simply for ourselves, but for whatever is above us. We spend our time on the planet as a servant for the greater good, for others, and for the heavens.

Life began a few years ago for me in August. I learned something so incredibly important that it changed my life forever. The moment I learned that my past, the inescapable shadow that always followed me, was a place that I didn’t have to live…my world opened up. But that moment only came after a concept that was even more important. You, and only you, are responsible for your life. When you take responsibility for everything that you do, everything you have done, the decisions you make, the things you say to people, and your actions every single day…then, you can truly live free of your past. Your past becomes the foundation in which you build your life upon. It truly never goes away. However, it does stop owning you.

The people who love you are the ones that know everything about you and still stick around. The ones that have been there through everything and still serve as the rock you can lean on when your life is messy at times. They are not there because it is convenient. In fact, it is often the most inconvenient thing in the world to be someones rock. The hours are crappy, the emotions run high, and often times you feel exhausted after whatever happened is done. But that’s not the point. You aren’t there because it’s convenient for you. You are there because of something much more powerful at play: love for another. And that overwhelms any other card on the table.

Dance to the music of life. If you spend so much time focusing on the instruments that aren’t there, you miss out on the song that is playing.

- Evan Sanders

Day (495) – Fallen Angels

There is nothing more lost than a confused heart. You’re head has a  tendency to overcomplicate things, but when your heart is at play, you can truly lose yourself. It happens. We fall. We fall hard. Sometimes, it takes a good fall to truly understand where you stand.

What if all the words that were ever uttered out of your mouth were written on your skin? Would you hide your skin with clothes or would you be proud of the lines flowing over your skin like water in the ocean. There would be moments of crashing and yet, at the same time, there would be those times of stillness and peace. Those words will always be there. They will never be lost or gone. Permanently inscribed on your skin. If this was the case, what would you start to write today?

 

Things happen in our lives that we aren’t exactly proud of how they turned out. Sometimes the best of intentions get lost in the heat of it all and your plan gets chewed to pieces. It has become clear to me that kindness is the purest value to live by. In a world where kindness seems to be the last thing that is free, it becomes even more important to be the most loving and caring person out there. To have arms that extend open past what is comfortable and to truly feel what others feel. I know this in my heart to be true. At times, I have lost sight of that. At times, I have acted otherwise. It is impossible to go through life without hurting others. If you try to be liked by everyone and avoid trouble then you end up being a shell of a real person. We will hurt those that we love the most. It will happen to each of us. Maybe a confused heart causes this…maybe a lack of experience or pain…but in the end it’s about what we do to make things right that matters.

It’s time for me to let some things go. Sometimes we don’t even know we are holding them inside until they suddenly jump out. We don’t always receive the reasons for why it happens that way, but in the end, we always get the lesson. Stay true to yourself even during the harshest of times. When someone is trying to bring you down, don’t lose your class. There are things to fight for in this world, but there are significantly more things not to fight for. I will think about what happened tonight for a while longer because it deserves to be handled with care. I will correct the wrongs. But I know that I will learn. And I know it wont happen again.

- Evan Sanders

The Last Pitch

Reblogged from The Backfield Press:

Written by inspirational writer and former baseball pitcher Evan Sanders from The Better Man Project.

I’ll never forget the day.

Headphones in. “Shoot to thrill” by AC/DC pumping in my ears. Head bobbing to the rhythm. Glove in hand, ball in the other. Sitting on the bucket breathing getting ready for the game. That moment was the start to a very special day.

Read more… 650 more words

I wrote a blog for a fellow blogger at The Backfield Press and I hope you will go over there to check it out :)

Day (493) – I’d Like to Introduce You To My Book

The Better Man Project is a look at my daily journey towards becoming a better man, as well as a glimpse into the valuable lessons I learn along the way.

Socrates once said, “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” I, in fact, know nothing. But because I know nothing, I have given myself the best opportunity to learn from everything. That is why I am here in front of you today, and that is how The Better Man Project was born.

Several years ago, I sat on the bed in my small dorm room and realized that whatever path I was on was destined for disaster. My life lacked love, passion, and goals that could inspire me to achieve my true potential. I was desperately trying to contain an emotional tornado inside of me, and realized that the damage was reaching a point of irreversibility. The forces of change were knocking on my door, and if that call was left unanswered, my worst nightmare was waiting for me right around the corner.

I decided to try something new. The Better Man Project was originally intended to be a 30-day challenge to develop myself into a better man. Well, the project passed 30 days, 60 days, 90 days…and now I stand in front of you – the product of almost 1,000 days of personal cave diving into the depths of my heart – lantern in hand, searching for even more answers.

I am not here to give you a formula. I am not here to tell you that I have some secret for how to be happy. Instead, I am here to tell you why you should embark on a journey that will be marked by times of darkness, but that will in the end, result in one thing: light.

Each and every one of you will have a different path. No two will be the same, but they will all have something in common: the fact that you will be going against the grain and living a life that you are proud of. You will face your fears by moving against a culture that is designed to groom you to be just like everyone else. But it won’t be easy because you will have to overcome significant obstacles in order to achieve true happiness and realize your dreams. However, when you finally remove can’t from your vocabulary, you will develop into someone who finds motivation and inspiration within in order to create a vibrant future.

I can tell you that my journey will never end. My life has permanently changed course because of this project and I have truly learned how to be a man. And to all the women out there, my project isn’t just about men’s issues. I am confident that if you join me and open this book, you might just find out how to be a better person as well.

I promise you that this is going to be one awesome, wild ride.

Love. Passion. Never Quit.

Amazon - http://ASIN.cc/bfjGYq
iTunes - http://bit.ly/13HfmcW
Kobo - http://bit.ly/121ofB0
Sony - http://bit.ly/17qFY7h
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If you have two minutes, please check out the video for the project – it gives some details as to what the book is about as well as my general mission.http://bit.ly/102d2Lf

Here’s what some have said about the book so far

“Sanders unlocks the door of each aspect of a man’s world as he breaks through the boundaries of life’s disappointments, anguish, pain, and hostility. He uncovers the mysteries of love, honesty, integrity and respect. His acute sense of understanding the world around him and his ability to relate to all people enables him to share his philosophies and he gifts his inspiration to us in this book. It is not his full story. It is not the answer. It is the beginning and the now of a great man and his unique insights to how we can all become better every day.” – Melissa Reyes

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I have been hooked since the first blog post I ever read! Evans openess to share his life’s ups and downs, and insights into life is just inspiring. You get to know Evan through these pages and it is perfect because, you will get to know yourself as well. I related to many many pages and I think you will too, it is for everyone, young and old, short and tall. Download a copy of The Better Man Project to help motivate, inspire and get a move on to accomplish your own dreams and help someone accomplish theirs! – Amberly G

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“This book is a groundbreaking work that will inspire men and women alike.” – endsolitary

This book is not just for men, its for anyone and everyone. The authors ability to connect to my life was astounding. I found myself repeatedly looking over my shoulder as I read the book because there were so many times where I felt like the author was writing about my own life and to my very situation. This book is so much about hope for the author and for those that read it. Countless times in my life I have felt like no one has felt the way I have and then I read this book and realized that I am so far from alone. The author’s openness and venerability is what makes this book so amazing and like nothing else on the market. Yes, its categorized under “Self Help” but this book leaves you with a feeling of something so far from being on your own in this world. I know that I will dive back into those pages for years and years to come. This will not be one of those book you read one time, it’s a book that you will come back to again and again and I am certain you will find new depth and new truth each and every time. – Ivy Stracener

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“I recommend this book highly for anyone that has a dream that they themselves are holding in a mental prison.” – teddy3indc

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The Better Man Project is not your typical book. Do not let the title fool you either. This book is not just for men-it is for anyone. You don’t even have to be looking to become a better person to read this book, but I will tell you that it will inevitably happen.

This book is filled with real life events, both good and bad, that have a way of speaking to any audience. I found myself rereading many pages of this book, realizing how much I could relate to what Evan has written about. This book has not only helped me jumpstart a new, more positive way of thinking, but has also allowed me to reflect on certain aspects of my own life that I would not have before reading this.

This book does not have the answer to all of my life questions, nor does it solve all of my problems, but it like I already mentioned, has opened my mind to a more positive, optimistic way of living and thinking. This book is worth WAY more than the price it can be bought for, so, like I did, skip your 5 dollar latte today and spend that money on this book! It’s worth it! – Julie Grosso

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Lastly, if you could share this page to your Facebook and social media that would be incredible!

Twitter @BetterManProj: http://bit.ly/Z0zCq9

Facebook Event Page: http://on.fb.me/18vMcDh

Facebook Fan Page: http://on.fb.me/RC57QW

YouTube Video: http://bit.ly/102d2Lf

Thank you for supporting me! I promise you that it is going to be one awesome wild ride.

- Evan Sanders

Day (492) – Bring Me Home

Would you believe me if I told you that I sit here typing to you with my eyes closed? You would be surprised with how much you learn about writing itself when you close your eyes to the lines of letters running across the page and just…feel. Even if it is your hands pattering across the keys there is an almost musical rhythm to the process. Your head begins to move along with the words…it bobs up and down, and you begin to put the physical self in the words that splatter on the page. CLose your eyes for a minute, and for the first time see what your world looks like.

There are two incredible forces each of us confront each and every day. They are the forces of intent and action. Alone, these  ideas are very powerful. Intent represents what our heart wants down to its core. Our intent is what drives us to do good or evil in this world. Action, well actions is probably the most powerful thing in this world. Because ideas without a body are simply ideas 0 no matter what they look like. However, when you start acting upon those ideas, incredible things are created. I mean it…incredible things.

The two though, when separated, create thunderstorm within you.

You could have the best intentions in the world but if you do not act on them the world will not be so forgiving. But even deeper…you will create a hole in yourself that becomes deeper and more visible by the day. You heart wants one thing and you sabotage it by not giving the idea legs. Maybe it’s not even an idea, maybe its a want or need that you know will fulfill you in the greatest of ways…and yet time after time the process is ruined by an uninspired mind.

But when you unite the two…intent and action…whole new worlds can be created.

It became clear to me that doing things with interest isn’t going to yield me with any great results. Roald Dahl has a great quote in which he says that we need to do everything with white-hot passion. Warm or hot are no good. You have to embrace everything about your passion and give it everything because truly no one else can create what you have dreamed. Even if the idea has been done before, it has never been done the way you could do it. The original idea resides within your head, and if you listen or create all the excuses in the world, you will never create something beautiful and unique.

I will always come back to this because it becomes more true as my days go on…and I was given a piece of advice by my best friend last night that I wont ever forget. He told me that the people who really deserve my time are those who truly appreciate me and care about me for exactly the person I am and will always support my dreams and goals…and those who can’t see that or don’t want to be a part of that will just leave over time and there is nothing that I can do about it. Because truthfully it is much better to have a handful of absolutely incredible friends who would go to battle for you than a platoon of deserters. I mean look at what the Fellowship in Lord of the Rings did. We have been attacked by a social virus that makes you think that having millions of followers or friends online actually makes you loved in person. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. Don’t get me wrong there are incredible things that can be created from SM…however, remember how we were talking about intent and action? There needs to be relationships created outside of texting, chatting and comments. That’s where the soul’s gold is.

This post is a bit scattered because there is a lot to talk about, but if I had to really sum it all up it would be this: lead a quality life…not one of quantity.

- Evan Sanders

Day (492) – The Call

 

Last night in a dream

The call that I had been making

For 24 years

Was picked up

“Of course there are…”

The call was interrupted

By my waking

But what was left

The sound of breathing on the other end

Has changed my life.

- Evan Sanders

Day (491) – The World Reacts

The days of changing yourself to appease other people is over. Back in the days of cavemen, yeah sure you might have to because you lived in a tribe of 17 and you had only a few shots to impress “the one.” But today is different. Today we are no longer suffering from choice deficiency. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people who you can meet that might be interested in you…just the way you are. Interesting concept eh?

So this post has two messages to it. I never really ever say them outright but I think it’s so important. Because once this realization hit my mind (Thank you Allison Armstrong) it changed the ways I think about things.

1. Be yourself. The right people will stay. The ones who don’t like who you are about will go…and you don’t even have to ask them to leave they will just leave.

2. Change for – you. Because only you can change for the better. Find something deep within yourself that you can hold onto while you travel down the path of transformation. Then…do it because you want it. Not because your wife told you to. Not because someone insulted you and you are full of that “I’m gonna show you” attitude. Do it for you – that stuff lasts I promise. The reason within…that will take you to places you never imagined you could go to.

It is time to go out into the world and have it catch up and react to you. All too often we try to paddle to the wave that we just missed that everyone else is on instead of waiting for the next empty wave to surf. If you focus too much on the wave that you just missed you will never see the one that is forming behind you. Don’t follow the crowd just because everyone else is doing it. Follow that little something deep inside your heart that is telling you to do it your way. That way, while difficult – (trust me I know) will give you deep answers that you could never get by knowing all the answers right out of the shoot. In fact…know nothing. Socrates said that the smartest philosopher in the room was the one that admitted that he knew nothing. That should tell you something.

Because once you “know” something you give away your opportunity to learn about life when you were clueless. You lose your fire for it. You stop learning.

Find your path. Blaze that trail. It’s lonely I promise you. It’s basically you and your horse heading to the Western Front and beyond. But that’s the exciting part. If you focus too much on the fact that there’s nobody around when you are on your way then of course that is all that is going to occupy your mind. Or, you could go explore, enjoy listening to what is going on deep within your heart, and when you find what you are passionate about…act on it. Build the coolest damn thing anyone has ever seen. Feed the idea. Help it grow. Let it blossom. I think this next quote says it best

“If you build it, they will come.” – Field of Dreams

In a world that demands instant results for everything, a demand that completely juxtaposes the short-term results of what “going after your passion” creates, it is incredibly easy to get caught up in thinking that you are failing because you don’t have millions of followers or making mad amounts of money. Keep going. Keep trucking away. Thomas the Train taught me when I was young to say, “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” You have to first believe it – then it will happen for you.

So build your dreams and let the world react to you. Ride your own wave and barrel it out.

- Evan Sanders

If you haven’t had the chance, read my book! http://amzn.to/18lRIci
Join me on Twitter http://bit.ly/Z0zCq9 and FB http://on.fb.me/RC57QW)

Day (490) – With Heart & The First Steps

That first step is a really big one. In fact, that first step changes your entire life. You have an idea of where you are going in your head, you have absolutely no idea what you are going to confront on the way, and you carry one truth in your bag: you are going to do everything you can to make it there. So that first footprint you leave in the dirt is the biggest one you will ever leave. Mine’s been made.

I took a journey like this a long time ago and the feeling is exactly the same. One may expect uneasiness but in truth the challenges that lay ahead lead to excitement. It took me a long time to get to the point of successfully packing my bag and putting it by the door to go. This morning, I grabbed it, locked the door and set out for something completely and drastically different from what I have known for years. A new journey. New experiences. New challenges. New realizations.

Someone very smart a long time ago taught me that if we change our view of the world we will have different actions and therefore produce wildly different results. This is something that has held true through time for me.

I have no idea what is going to come my way in the next couple of months that I prepare for that final moment. What I do know is what is vividly playing on the vision reel in my mind over and over again. I can picture it. I can imagine it and I can almost feel it. Whenever I am struggling I know that I can close my mind and see the end. This is why I am going to be successful at this…I know it.

Give your heart to your passion. Sure you may not make much at the start, but you will become something so great that people will not be able to ignore you. You will be a light so bright that the world will know your name. If you have a positive message to speak to the world, it is almost your duty to aim as high as you possibly can…and then aim higher. The world does not benefit from our playing small. It benefits from each of us putting our hearts on the line and doing what we love the best we can. That is how this ship turns around. That is how things change. Love will melt down barriers, racism, hate and war. So do what you love. Love the people around you deeply. You only have one shot at this life. Make it count.

- Evan Sanders

Day (489) – In The Eyes

She looked me in the eyes and said. “But what made you that way?” “Like what?” I asked. “People aren’t just that way, the way you are. Something happened. What was it?”

I looked back at her knowing one thing for sure…that she had seen right into me and that she almost already knew the answer. Like I always say, the specifics aren’t actually the important part. It’s everything after the event that actually matters. Maybe it wasn’t just in that second that she knew, but she knew. I’ve never really been called on that part of my life before. I’ve always been able to sense that in others…but never had the mirror turned my direction.

So I sipped my drink and started to tell the story, only to be cut short. But as the words stopped coming out of my mouth, I started to think.

You’ve probably heard the phrase in some sort of variation , “I see myself every day so I don’t really notice much of a difference.” Usually people will say that when they are referring to weight…but in my case, and as I took a walk tonight thinking about this very question that she had asked me, I started to actually think about where I have come from. As someone who deliberately focuses on living in the present, I don’t often visit the past. But when I do, I am now much more comfortable with confronting some of the situations I have been through in my young life. You have to be careful though – because when you visit this place, you have to make sure you can get out. Sounds a bit ridiculous, but coming from someone who used to be stuck living there, it’s all too easy to focus on what did happen versus what is happening right now.

So I asked myself, “How did you become you right now?”

On one note, there was the massive forces of change and my worst nightmare coming to life, and on another there’s the product of habit. I decided to visit the first to start. Many of us know exactly what will happen if we don’t change our course. In my case, I knew exactly what I was sailing at. The captain steered his ship directly at the reef bank with the sharp jagged rocks sticking out on the water…a location that had been marked on the map by many as “Don’t go here…you will sink.” The question of why that was the case is still a little bit shady, but nonetheless, it happened. We are the product of all of our decisions up to this point. Sure, there are natural events that occur throughout our lives that we cannot control in the slightest, but in all honesty, we have the capability to make our own decisions and steer our own ship on whatever course we decide. In the end, it was you at the helm…and it is you that must go down with the ship.

But after being rescued by my crew, I came to the realization that I indeed was responsible for my own life and that I could turn it all around. It was Aristotle himself who said that we are the finest representation of our actions. So I took that idea to heart and began to pound away, as a blacksmith creates a sword, at the characteristics I wanted to exist in my life. The age-old question of “are leaders/heroes born or created?” is easily answered for me now. I believe that within each of us there is something great and we can all leverage that ability, hone it, and improve upon it until we have created something fantastic that looks almost drastically different from what started we with in the first place. I am a firm believer that you can create your own path and your own story. Because once you realize that the past is indeed just a story, you have every opportunity to pick up the pen and start writing a new one on fresh clean white sheets of paper.

All the tools you need to create something amazing are already in your toolbox. In His infinite wisdom, he didn’t give you every tool imaginable, but gave you the basic ones to be able to create the big kahuna. So instead of looking at others who have figured out how to make an awesome tool and try to buy it off of them, go make your own unique replica that is completely suited to you. Trust me, it will work much better that way.

- Evan Sanders