Evan Sanders's Blog, page 103

Day (477) – In The Dark

 

I’ve never really put this down on paper before because I really didn’t know what to say. I guess I can start by telling you that there are only a few things that can drive me to the bar armed with my notebook and pen in hand. Most of the time it’s because of love and the desire to celebrate a deep internal happiness. But every so often, there is a pain that is felt and the combination of the flowing cursive on the all too familiar paper with the sweet burn of whiskey down the back of my throat soothes my limping heart.

It was in the absence of love that I learned the true importance of love itself. Every once in a while I am reminded of it’s fleeting ways and there is an inescapable feeling that lands itself deep inside of me. It comes in all shapes and sizes and at the most unexpected times…but in all the darkness that comes with it is pitch black. It was Jung who said, “The brighter the light the darker the shadow.” When it arrives, light becomes difficult to see at times.

It’s painful. In fact, it flows over me like heavy curtains that have been let out for the first time. The thing is, to be able to have a completely balanced capacity for overwhelming joy you must also experience the opposite. You must become familiar with the dark of dark that many know is there but would sacrifice almost anything to avoid it. I used to sacrifice – trust me. And as bad as it can be at times, I know that I have to sit with it and allow it to pass. I have to acknowledge its presence or else it will only grow inside.

This  feeling comes from a long way back…many times we have shaken hands. It’s scary – the fear of rejection or inadequacy is huge – you get nervous no matter how confident you are…the list goes on. But feeling not good enough for others can be heartbreaking. Because you want to love and be as passionate with people as much as you can and to be given that chance and then have it stripped from you almost recklessly is one of the worst tricks that life can play.

So it has once again become clear to me that it is truly my purpose to make people feel as loved as possible. Because without it, we forget that how much we love others is a direct reflection of how much we care for ourselves.

This feeling will pass…and truth will stay: one love

Goodnight

- Evan Sanders

Day (476) – Covenant

In the dark of night

I lay here staring out the window

Knowing that the future to come is overwhelming yet so full of possibility

The depths of my soul yearn for the expression of unconditional love

It knows that the dream can be achieved no matter how daunting the task may seem at times

And in that moment without light

Even as the sun is fully down

Light as always makes itself present

Pushing me on to take this life of mine into the forrest

And create a ruckus in the leaves of the unknown

The promise has been made

The covenant created

I will do this

.

 Evan Sanders

Day (475) – The Opportunity

And all at once, my purpose became clear to me. It had been shown to me in glimpses throughout my life before, but in this moment, it all became so clear that it went right past my eyes and mind and straight into my heart.

Years ago, I started a journey to become a better man. This journey has fulfilled me in ways that I never could have imagined at the time. I learned the importance of love, passion, and never quitting. I was also taught the importance of having goals in life and using them to drive the vehicle of where you want to go and who you want to be. But over this past week, and I have purposefully neglected writing here because I had no words to even explain what had happened, I was reminded of the most important lesson of all: unconditional love.

And as I was taught this lesson as I  woke up from my worst all those years ago, I was re-taught it in the most extraordinary fashion. The vision does not come from the mind, but rather comes from deep within me somewhere in the depths of my heart. It drives me. It gives me purpose. It has awesomely infected the rest of my life. And as of 1.13.13…it made me take my first step on a long journey.

I think there are moments in life that you will remember forever. In these past days, there are many that will be engrained into my mind that will never be forgotten. Not because of the visual event, but rather due to the fact that I for the first time in my life was speechless…and remained speechless for quite some time. I will never forget sitting on those steps and having an idea dropped into my head and the subsequent endless expansion of my dreams.

I think many will say there comes an opportunity once in a great while that cannot be missed. I think I see mine right here, and I know in my heart that I have to seize it with every ounce of passion and determination I have in my body.

So here’s to the future.

May it be lined with love.

- Evan Sanders

Day (474) – When Words Get Taken

The past few days have been the best days of my life. You might think it was because of a fantastic birthday on the 3rd or the amazing fireworks on the 4th…but in truth both of those events will never ever be able to match up to the magnitude of what has truly lit a fire inside me. And that’s what I want to talk about tonight – about that moment when your purpose in life ends up changing the life of another person…and you really get to hear about it.

The biggest compliment I can give someone is to tell them that they have truly stripped from the words from me and all I can really say is thank you. As a writer on life and its constant teachings, I am almost never at a loss for words. Every day I am given new material to work with and if I have learned anything over the past few years of writing it’s that there’s a lesson to be learned in even the smallest of events. But the past few days have continually one-upped each other and turned into a wave that I can only ride. I’m ready to stand up on the board. This is the moment I have been waiting for.

More than 3 years ago I woke up from the darkest day of my life and realized that there was something more to it all than the aimless path I was on. Something whispered “passion” and I followed that idea for years. In fact I am still learning what having a true calling and passion can do for me in terms of attracting people and situations to my life. But it seems that it was learning the importance of unconditional love that turned everything around for me. The ability to relate to people who I have never before on an emotional basis instead of focusing on the dissimilarities between us has driven my heart to be able to open up to anyone around me. Sure there are times when it goes cold – I think without those times you lose the appreciation for truly loving – but keeping true to your compass and having it point in the right direction is all that matters.

To be able to inspire people to live powerful, bold, and impassioned lives.

That’s what it has always been about. Because if I can throw a pebble out into the water and cause a small ripple for someone and they do the same, the world can change. There will always be those times where you find someone and inspire them to the point where they resemble an asteroid heading for the ocean, and this an incredible moment. I believe deep down in the depths of my soul that everyone has something great in them, and even if you aren’t doing it yet or your life has taken turns for the worse, you have the ability to turn the dial and move in a different direction. Because that was the opportunity that was given to me. No one cleared the path for me, in fact, I was only shown that there was a different journey to be taken and had to run through the weeds, bushes, and thorns to get there. But in the end the scars are worth the feeling of blooming.

July 2,3,4,5th were days of my life that I will never forget. I don’t even understand the magnitude of what is about to happen, but I do have one promise to make. I promise that with the opportunity that is about to form, I will give this life every last ounce of love, passion, and perseverance I have in this body of mine and change the world for the better. All systems go.

- Evan Sanders

Day (473) – Awoken

It’s not about catching up with the world, it’s about creating a life full of love and passion and having the world catch up with you. The times of having to mold ourselves into someone or something we aren’t are long gone – in fact, this may be one of the greatest lies of humanity. The belief that you have to fit in to lead a worthwhile life is a facade that shades your eyes from the truth. In many cases, it may feel that you have to be the cool person in order to gain the respect and appreciation of others, but let me tell you from personal experience – if you go out into the world, declare your purpose, and do something really ridiculously cool with your life, people will take notice and give you real respect. Respect for doing what you love and bring new ideas into the world. But the best part of it all…you give them the courage to do the same.

So wake up. Because you weren’t put on this planet to be an unrecognizable fish in a sea of bullshit. That’s about as straightforward as I can put it. Sure it’s going to be difficult. You are going to have every single doubt in the book and at times you are going to really want to quit. It was even Mother Teresa who said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” At times I have felt completely broken…but the beauty of scars is that they are visual representations of where the light has entered into you.

To be able to look yourself in the eyes and say, “I have more in the tank I can give” is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. I think about the concept of being on my deathbed often…and know that when I look down at my feet in those last moments, I will be able to see feet uncovered in leather – because I wore down the shoes that I was given from above. And in that moment I will know that I gave it every last drop of gas in the tank. Death no longer becomes a moment to be feared but a gift. To be truly proud of living a life worthy of a smile in your last moment.

So until that time…all engines go.

- Evan Sanders

If you haven’t had the chance, read my book! http://amzn.to/18lRIci
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Day (472) – 3 Feet Under

There’s something eerie about digging a small grave for a cat that was not even yours.

And as you hear the fresh dirt sifting over the form…

It makes you think about the inevitability of time.

Like a freight train.

You can’t ever run from this train.

All you can do is give it a run for its money when it meets you.

To be continued…

Rest in Peace Yogi

(VB) Preparing For an Unknown Opportunity

Sometimes you don’t know when an opportunity is going to strike. The thing is, you have to be willing to put in the work and prepare yourself for that chance. The worst thing in the world is to get lucky. You can’t replicate that. But if you put in the work each and every day and make a decision about what you want to do with your life…you will start attracting opportunities to you. Dream Big and put in the sweat to make your vision come true.

Let’s make our mark on the world. Also, if you want to check out my book, blog, or pages link up with me below!#BetterMW

Amazon – http://ASIN.cc/bfjGYq

iTunes – http://bit.ly/13HfmcW
Twitter @BetterManProj: http://bit.ly/Z0zCq9

Facebook Fan Page: http://on.fb.me/RC57QW

YouTube Video: http://bit.ly/102d2Lf

(VB) On Meeting My Hero

Yesterday at the Santa Clara Fitness Expo I met my hero Greg Plitt. Besides having the most legendary bro-crush on this guy, it was an absolute honor to shake hands and talk a little bit about our very similar mentalities in tackling life’s obstacles. There was also something that lit up inside as I realized that Greg started from nothing and built himself into something great. Time to keep dreaming big.

Let’s make our mark on the world. Also, if you want to check out my book, blog, or pages link up with me below!#BetterMW

Amazon – http://ASIN.cc/bfjGYq

iTunes – http://bit.ly/13HfmcW
Twitter @BetterManProj: http://bit.ly/Z0zCq9

Facebook Fan Page: http://on.fb.me/RC57QW

YouTube Video: http://bit.ly/102d2Lf

Day (471) – The Intro & The Journey…Why The Hell Not

Take the pledge. Join the #BetterMW movement. It’s a movement of people who are committed to becoming better men and women each and every day…and who stand for the greatness of others. Together we can turn this ship around. It’s going to start small…but one day…it will be big. What do you have to do? Just say that you are taking the pledge…and go make your mark on the world.

When Ted Williams was a young boy, his schoolteacher went around the classroom and asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up. Many said firefighters, doctors, dentists etc…and when it came time for Williams to answer, he said, “I want people to say there goes the greatest hitter who ever lived.” Many laughed.

Ted Wiliams hit .406 in 1941 and was arguably one of the greatest hitters to ever play the game.

I had this interesting exchange with someone the other day. I sent out at message that was similar to Williams’. I said that one day I want people to say, “There goes Evan Sanders…the most inspiring man who ever lived.” The response was in no way bad…and he said (paraphrasing) “Even more inspiring that Obama or MLK? I’m all for goals but is that realistic?” That made me think…and I took a dive within. Is it realistic? Can you do that?

Why the hell not.

Everyone who has ever walked on the face of this earth started off as the little guy. They were nobody. Nobody knew of them. No one talked about them. It was just them, their family, and the voice inside. And really…that’s all you need. If you declare into the world that you are going to be something or do something, then you have already taken a massive step. You might not know exactly how to accomplish the task…but true courage is taking a leap of faith and building your wings on the way down. Focus too much on the plan and you’ll never jump. Focus too much on the fact you just jumped…splat.

You are what you do every single day. So whatever you are doing is eventually what you become. Aristotle said that excellence is born through habit. It isn’t something that is given to us…it is something that we have to grind out each and every day. If you think of the inspiring men that have  put memorable footprints in the sand…you must also wonder what they did consistently to become that person. Because we were all given gifts, but on every journey the amount of work that you have to commit to a task eventually overtakes the natural talents you were given. Sweat equity comes to mind.

So that’s my goal – and to start off that dream…I have turned The Better Man Project into a movement. Like I said above, it’s about people who are interested in becoming better men and women. That’s how I started my journey and everything else came to me along the way. And I have to tell you, to think about the life I had before this project still amazes me. No heart, no passion, tons of quitting…the list goes on and on. But you can turn it all around and that’s what I want for each and every one of us. Everybody has something amazing to bring to the table. So if we stop focusing on what makes us different from everyone else and start seeing the massive similarities we all have, whether that be emotions or experiences, then something fantastic  can happen. So join me. Comment below with just your name, your location, and age. I know that we will be able to fill up the worlds map with people who are committed to becoming just a little bit better every day. #BetterMW

- Evan Sanders

Day (470) – On Looking Bad

I was watching an interview with Hugh Jackman yesterday on the airplane…and he said something that struck a chord with me. He said…and totally paraphrasing here…”Until you embrace the chance of completely utterly falling on your face, I mean…really looking bad…then you will never be able to truly live. Because you spend all your time trying to look good instead of really taking a chance.”

It’s not the first time I have heard this and I am sure that it won’t be the last. However, it has been a while since I have had those words spoken to me. A great deal of people spend their life avoiding looking bad or always trying to look good. I can honestly tell you that for the past 6 months, I have forgotten about the benefits of giving up those two concepts and opening myself up to living life versus directing its sexiness. Paralyzed because of what others will think. Stuck in the mud because of an inability to decide. Why? I was afraid of looking bad while doing it. It wasn’t the fear of doing the work – no, it was the fear of the work not paying off. Ahh…yes, there’s the answer.

Everyone who ever made it has to start off as the little guy. They must be the unknown. They must first look up at the gigantic mountain in front of them, and say, “Im getting to the top come hell or high water!” They must create themselves from nothing besides an idea. But if that idea and belief is strong enough in their mind it is tangible. No one else can see it or touch it…but the one who carries it always has it at the tip of their fingers. That idea is infectious and consumes their day. They aren’t merely interested in it…they are committed to it. To them…that’s life. Anything else is mediocrity.

Dream.

- Evan Sanders