Ken Wheaton's Blog, page 5

Rocky Mountain Brisket

The last time I barbecued a brisket in New York, I spent $100 or more for what was once considered an inexpensive hunk of meat. Last week, I spent $30 on a brisket at Walmart. It turned out to be one of the best I’ve barbecued to date.

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This was to be my first barbecue in Colorado, the first time I had people over, and it was all for the LSU-Alabama game. The game went about as I expected. Thankfully, the meat — brisket, ribs, and chicken — did too, despite a lot of worrying about barbecuing...

What a gourd-geous evening in Denver

I guess I’m on a Halloween theme this week. Someone should alert Collin Nissan because this post is all about Glow at the Gardens, an even highlighting pumpkin carving and more at the Denver Botanic Gardens. After all, we know what season it really is.

Anyway. A few photos from the evening.

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Haunted Tiny House: A ghost story

[image error]Source: HGTV

Note: My smart-ass comment about tiny houses in yesterday’s post prompted a great comment from my stepsister, which in turn led me to write this. Not quite what she was asking for, but I like it.

HAUNTED TINY HOUSE

EXTERIOR – NIGHT: A dark, cloudy moonless night. The wind whips through the trees surrounding a clearing. In the clearing sits what looks like a child’s playhouse.

INTERIOR – NIGHT: We’re inside of a tiny house, 8 x 10 if that. We enter through the door and into a kitc...

A very spooky story

[image error]Credit: Netflix

Cara and I have been watching “The Haunting of Hill House.” It’s not for the faint of the heart. In fact, if anyone says he isn’t afraid of the movie, that person is already dead inside and should be reported to either the Ghostbusters or Van Helsing.

The point is, it’s a creepy show and within one episode you’ll be checking under your bed, wishing you didn’t have a basement, and contemplating a move into a newly built tiny house where you can be 100% sure that no one has ever...

A Weird State: Colorado

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Friday morning. About three weeks after moving to Colorado. I’d accumulated a bill and a pay stub and the other forms of identification I needed to get a Colorado driver’s license. So I woke up bright and early with the intent of getting to the DMV in Boulder the minute it opened at 7 a.m.

But alas, life happens. I got a little bit of a late start. I let the dogs hang out in the yard a little longer than I’d planned — I’m a sucker for what the dogs want. I didn’t get to the DMV until 7:30.

T...

Drama at the Laundromat!

Showed up to pick up my laundry this morning at 7:50. The laundromat opens at 7:30. Guess what.

It was closed.

“He ain’t here yet, bro” said a bro from across the street. “I even called him. Said he’d be here in five minutes. That was 10 minutes ago.”

Not a minute later, our friendly laundromat guy shows up, opens doors, grabs MadBro’s shirts and hands them over.

MadBro’s bill was $12 but he threw 5 down on the counter and said “That’s all you fucking getting from me cuz I been waiting outsid...

How Facebook works: Taco edition

Post: “Where can I get the best taco in Mexico City?”   Comment 1: “I like the chalupa at Taco Bell.” Comment 2: “I’ve never been to Mexico City, but I heard it’s really awesome.” Comment 3: “The taco was actually invented in 1495 by a Korean.” Comment 4: “The best taco in Los Angeles is at that one truck.” Comment 5: “No. The best taco in L.A. is at the other truck.” Comment 6. “Everyone knows the best taco in L.A. is in the backroom of that taco speak-easy that I’ve never act...

A few words about Charles Wheaton, my parrain

[image error]Daddy on the left. Uncle Charles on the right.

In South Louisiana, the Cajun French word for godfather is parrain. Good luck pronouncing that correctly. It’s one of the few Cajun French words I know that isn’t a curse word. Parrain.

Last night my parrain died. Charles Wheaton. My daddy’s younger brother.

I saw him last year at my brother Daniel’s wedding. But the last time I had any kind of extended conversation with him was a few years ago, in Opelousas. I’d swung by the group home where h...

The 2018 Meat Sweats Tour: Few Things Finer Than Carolina (and Barbecue)

As the first two plates of chopped and sliced pork were placed on the table in front of us, accompanied by sides of Ore-Ida-looking French fries and an entire basket of hush puppies, my first thought was, “I hope I can handle a whole week of Carolina barbecue.”

My son Nick and I were at Lexington Barbecue in Lexington, North Carolina, the first stop on one of our somewhat annual barbecue tours. Our first trip, the Barrage of Brisket Tour back in 2013, took us to the Austin area, where w...

Paranormal activity almost killed me

Since Cara and I moved in together a hundred or so years ago, my consumption of horror movies has increased exponentially. She likes them. And, truth be told, the genre has grown on me, partly due to some pretty quality stuff being released in the last decade or so. There’s also some outright garbage that can be enjoyable in its own right.

So we watch a lot of scary movies. Or movies that are meant to be scary. They’re often weird, silly, surreal, ridiculous, or — her favorite genre — just p...