Kaneisha Grayson's Blog, page 32

How to Calm Down When Things Seem Out of Control

  Despite all the tools, strategies, and mood-boosting activities you try, sometimes there are problems that you just can’t solve in the moment. So you begin to tweak out and freak out. Maybe you fret by emotional eating, repeatedly refreshing your email inbox (“Maybe the answer will rain down on me from the gmail gods!”),... Read more »

Why It Isn’t Always a Bad Thing to Settle

  An important part of curbing excessive maximizer tendencies is to recognize when you are in maximizer mode and consider whether this is the appropriate approach for the situation. The next time you are making a decision—whether you’re out shopping for clothes or job hunting online—ask yourself the following questions: • What is the additional... Read more »

How to Decide What to do Next

Throughout my life, I’ve been a consistently indecisive person. After college, I decided to study Creative Writing in South Africa and then changed my mind and studied the art of going out to eat in Ghana instead. I decided I was going to Harvard for graduate school, got admitted, and then freaked out and tried... Read more »

Reasons You Should Go Out Even When You Don’t Want to

  An important part of maintaining your sexy is going out, having fun and letting the world revel in your sexy. Being social in a way that works for you is very sexy. However, I recognize that regularly going out isn’t easy for everyone. Even though I am a very extroverted person, I go through... Read more »

Reasons to Say Goodbye to Your Ex for Good

  After ending a relationship, it’s important that you not torture yourself with what you could have done differently or try to pinpoint the micromoment when things began to unravel. Be gentle, compassionate, and nurturing with yourself—just as you would treat your best friend if she were going through a painful breakup. I am the... Read more »

Why It’s Okay to Be a Little Freaky

  We’re all familiar with the mysterious notion of the little understood, but ever-exalted sexual freak. In Western culture, our collective obsession with “freaks” is especially evident in our most popular music. Rick James’s eighties dance hit “Super Freak” dedicates an entire song to the “very kinky girl” in his life. Rapper Ludacris proclaims that... Read more »

Five Ways to Add Happiness to Your Day

  One of the quickest ways to up your sexiness factor is to radiate happiness. However, even the most optimistic, cheerful person gets in an inexplicable funk every now and then. If you find yourself feeling down, don’t dwell in the blues overanalyzing your emotions. Remember that this mood can pass quite quickly if you... Read more »

How to Make Better Decisions for Your Happiness

  Our life is made up of a million decisions we make each day that build upon and affect one another. ough some decisions are more significant than others, each one has the ability to nurture your happiness or hinder it. Be sure that when you are making decisions large and small, you are considering... Read more »

How to Be a Better Problem Solver

  One evening, I was having dinner with my good friend Laura, a wildly successful Internet entrepreneur who is constantly making decisions about her growing business. Laura and I love getting together and talking about business and boys over a scrumptious meal. This particular day, she had a rough time at work and was venting.... Read more »

Is Perfectionism Taking Over Your Life?

  I first learned about the terms maximizer and satisficer from the book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. In it, she explores what makes certain people comfortable with the “good enough” solution to a problem and what drives other people to relentlessly drive to perfection. Specifically, she... Read more »