Rachel Smith's Blog: Guinea Pigs and Books, page 33

“Ah. No doubt you thought it would be very amusing to watch my cherished disbeliefs being shattered.”

121. Grave Reservations – Cherie Priest

This is very different from the other Cherie Priest books I’ve read, which technically are just three horror novels – two I thought were okay and one I really liked, and it was great fun. Even with the darkness that is a murder mystery and Leda’s grief over her fiancée’s very random death, it was bubbly and fun to read. Leda is a travel agent and she’s a bit psychic. She is also somewhat all over the place, impulsive, and a bit blurty, all of which do not have the highest chance of appealing to me, and yet, I did really enjoy this book.

When Leda decides to change a client’s ticket because she has a strong feeling she should, the story kicks off because that client was a homicide detective and the plane burned in front of him. So despite the normal reservations about using a psychic in detective work, Grady the detective takes the chance of having Leda help with a cold case and it’s a good choice for a fun murder mystery in Seattle and the start of a promising series.

 

Thaddeus used to be a bit blurty in that he would wake up hours before I needed to be up and whistle for me to feed him so loudly that it worked…I think he had a strong feeling it would.

 

We will have all the roles.

83. Nightingale – Amy Lukavics

I may only have read two books by Lukavics thus far, but it was clear to me while reading this it is her masterpiece. This is like Kit Reed with more sneering and gore; exactly what I want from female driven horror. In my opinion, there should be tons of this and I know more is coming and being allowed to be published by women about women who are discussing the horrors of being pushed around by societal expectations, interpersonal bullshit, and not being able to be who you are because of your gender – and that’s great.

I feel like it’s a long time coming for female characters to be just as active in the story as male characters in horror, and that’s something Nightingale exemplifies in several ways. The female victim becomes a bit of a villain, there are already female villains “who want what’s best,” there are female bystanders who are too scared to help, there are female secondary characters who help the main character on her journey – lots of roles for women, and the men in the story aren’t entirely in control of what the women do.

June Hardie is helpless in that she’s a young female in the 1950s who is supposed to do what she’s told as her family plans the whole rest of her life and tells her she shouldn’t be who she is. She’s also very, very not helpless in that she’s aware that what she wants is not to be compliant and she does what she can to be who she is. She’s a writer and she will not be mocked or silenced. Not by a forced relationship, not by her parents’ ideas of how she should be a “better young woman,” and not by forced medication inside an asylum where really creepy shit is happening. Thankfully.

Murderface was never one to shy away from somewhere really creepy shit was happening. She’s usually in charge of that sort of thing.

“So we just gonna ignore the bear then?”

11. The Ice Coven – Max Seeck

Things are changing around Helsinki Homicide and thankfully one of them is a new leader who isn’t as interested in Det. Jessica Niemi’s beautiful wandering through her psychologically troubling past when there are crimes to be solved. Influencers are missing. Prostitutes are being trafficked. Finnish rap is a hit – I find this complicated as one of my favorite things I’ve ever read about Finland is that it has more metal bands per capita than anywhere else in the world. That should be a point of pride and lends itself way better to horror stories. So this second entry in the saga of Jessica Niemi trying to cover up her past while detecting is more of a crime novel. Fine.

Thankfully, the story has moved on a bit from lingering in her past except for her being very haunted and that was nice for me because my major take away from the first one was that I wanted there to be much less about Jessica’s past taking over the story. And the twist in relation to the crimes and who was really responsible wasn’t obvious to me, also very welcome. There’s no horror here except the haunting past, but it doesn’t read like horror at all. I did like that best about the first book, but oh well. The story was still paced quickly with short chapters and it felt like the focus was on solving something and a lot more of the other characters in the homicide department, also good.

It did seem to be telegraphing at the end that a next book would go right back to being about Jessica’s past, though. “Christmas Eve.” Why not Candlemas? That’s on Groundhog Day and we all know what happens on Groundhog Day that would be relevant to talking about your haunting past over and over and over.

Speaking of leaders and their beautiful subordinates being confrontational, Peregrine and Ozma.

“Have a potato.”

128. The Hawthorne School – Sylvie Perry

Difficult child? Not fitting in? If you’re a single parent who is having trouble controlling their constantly agitated child, there’s a school that will somehow make them into a well behaved child. It’s the Hawthorne School. Don’t worry about the lack of books or the school stealing your kid’s birth certificate. Just drink this juice and this tea and all our meals are organic. Don’t you want to live on campus and work for the school? It’s what’s best for a super special child like your child who totally isn’t going through withdrawal when you’re not living on school grounds.

This story was utterly predictable, which isn’t so great for a thriller. It’s so clearly a cult. I’ve always felt that I would totally get kicked out of a cult trying to recruit me for asking too many questions, which happens to also be a problem of main character Claudia’s, so that’s validating to some extent. Cults don’t like questions because their ideas don’t stand up to common sense level scrutiny. They’re always good at manipulation or they wouldn’t be able to grow into cults though. It depends on what you want. If you want something they can pretend to get you, you will ask fewer questions.

It was interesting that the author spent like zero time making the cult leader a character that was desirable to follow. G, he goes by G to be obvious and also because his real name is Gabriel, doesn’t want the kids to learn to do things like read or think for themselves and his plan uses drugs to help that along. But! Very soon after we meet him the book ends in the form of two police reports – and honestly, besides G being a celibate cult leader (Um, rare), this ending is the most suspicious thing in the story, but it takes a village to stop a cult just as much as it does to raise a child.

Twiglet’s ideas always stood up to common sense level scrutiny, she would have made an excellent cult- um, just leader.

She’s like a child Kurgan.

59. Only Child – Patricia Wallace

As an only child myself, I do not really agree with the idea of only children as soul sucking monsters tied to evil…but Hannah isn’t an only child in the traditional sense. She seems to have no parents at all and just shows up in communities and then makes her psychic murder efforts conjured up from hell to become the only child in the area. No one will suspect some clear eyed blonde child, except, Alma, the older lady she blinded who saw the lightning Hannah made to cause a plane crash (for still unknown reasons) and Zachariah the cranky painter who lives in the woods and everyone assumes killed the missing children. Apparently Hannah’s signature evil move is to project the laughter of children whenever she does something to take out some children, born or unborn, so anyone who hears it seems crazy or like they had an emotional delusion. It’s a decent move.

Projecting the laughter of children would have added to Finny’s immediate projection of the main theme from The Omen, also a good move.

 

“The rest of the world is trying to change people to fit the world. I’m trying to change the world to fit people.”

3. Convenience Store Woman – Sayaka Murata

Misfit, oddball, weirdo, eccentric, antisocial, unconventional, odd bird, idiosyncratic, alienated, a “foreign object,” is something wrong with her, is she a sociopath or is she autistic because she found her purpose in life and it doesn’t involve some grand lie to herself about changing the world or being in a relationship and having a family…an Invasion of the Body Snatchers alien scream goes here. Keiko is not like everyone else and they’ve taken notice.

She doesn’t want all the “normal” hallmarks of a life that the people around her tell her she should want as a 36 year old woman. Her family tries to push her into them, even giving her phrases to use. Keiko doesn’t want a “proper career,” she’s fine with her job at Smile Mart, a 24 hour convenience store. She knows the rhythms of the store, what the people who come in need even when they don’t know their own patterns or the influence of the world around them and the weather on their shopping decisions and lunch choices. Society barely if ever understands a single woman who wishes to remain single, but a certain variety of single woman understands society and is a real help to a lot of people who refuse to acknowledge her as a worthy person or her contribution to helping society function smoothly as valuable.

And Keiko gives in eventually. She spends a lot of time in the story mimicking how “normal” people operate and speak and uses these imitations of “normal life” to find a man and settle down like her family wants her to so she’s worthy of their love instead of their nitpicking. This, of course, also involves leaving the job she actively enjoys and the emotional and schedule stability she had there. And …she doesn’t like it. They should have left her to it.

Merricat is named for the Merricat who understands not fitting in – and ritualizing.

“But in a picture or painting, they’re yours forever.”

68. Listen to the Shadows – Joan Hall Hovey

Katie Summers is an artist who lives in a secluded farm house and occasionally works at a cafe in town. Everyone loves her – the random rich guy she keeps telling they can only be friends, the dishwasher at the cafe with developmental disabilities, the cook at the cafe with anger issues…probably every straight male in close proximity. And she has a gay best friend who is also an artist and they take classes together, so she is covered for best friends with similar interests as well. Oh wait, one guy does not love her – rival artist dude whose name I did not commit to memory because he’s just there to be mean once. He thinks her landscapes are trite, essentially, and that she doesn’t deserve to enter the art contest. Fine.

So, she agrees to go out with the guy she already told they can only be friends because Katie is also a widow, her husband died in the war and wasn’t found, so it’s actually up in the air if he died, but it is assumed he did. She’s trying to give in to Drake, that nice guy (TM), and his dinner date demands and then he stands her up! Her! The most attractive and beloved woman artist who gets to live alone in a secluded house like a boss! And when she’s driving home from this failed date with the guy she didn’t want to go out with, she sees eyes in her rearview mirror like someone is in her backseat and gets into an accident.

This accident is an opportunity for a psychologist at the hospital to fall in love with her. He keeps showing up at her house after she leaves with a lot of pluck and no recollection that taking care of yourself after a giant car accident is in fact hard. He also takes some leave time, so he’s like “you’re my patient, but I have no ethics with you sometimes.”

Anyhoo, the same creepy eyes that she saw in her backseat show up on an effigy in her house which is wearing her husband’s military uniform. Effigies are quite creepy and they hadn’t even had a chance to read that story about Harold the scarecrow in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark yet either. And this husband-effigy is not the only effigy she encounters in her house. Plus she becomes way less beloved by the town in general once she’s both infirm and suspicious of all the dudes who’ve liked her, except the one who stood her up…gee, I wonder why he’s not suspicious. I think it’s because he’s the most suspicious person ever. Lying about where he purchased the lingerie he got her and everything. Shocking.

I didn’t let Belvedere read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark either. It’s too scary for guinea pigs and people.

 

Also, a reminder that there is a sale going on on my Threadless page until September 6th! I’ve ordered several things from them, totes, pillows, t-shirts, a puzzle, and been very impressed with the quality. Also, I’m not selling effigies or unethical choices.

“If he wanted to break in, he wouldn’t keep calling you.”

101. Watcher in the Dark – Beverly Hastings

Erin is trying to babysit for Abby while her father is on a business trip, but someone keeps calling and not saying anything…and then her mother calls (Abby’s mother doesn’t live there) and says things about “stealing her baby” over and over. Abby’s father becomes unavailable and her mother escalates – kidnapping Abby from school, calling repeatedly after Abby escapes and tells a neighbor she doesn’t like her mom, calling Erin’s parents’ house when Erin decides that would be safer for her and Abby, and tailing Erin in her Volvo when Erin decides Abby’s family’s cabin – where Abby’s half-brother Dan is currently camping – would be better since her mom is like everywhere all at once. Of course, she still manages to kidnap Abby. Abby’s mom is outside the realm of family court and she is not coming back.

Overall this read mostly realistically, a little When a Stranger Calls, a little normal shit people do acting like selfish jerks over custody and messing with their kids’ heads… The level of jumpy freakout Erin reaches quickly made a lot of sense to me. Hastings made sure to make most of the reasonable help unavailable in a normal way for the years of no cell phones.

 

What’s this about checking children? – Peregrine and Ozma, not ready.

 

I never even learned to drive, why would I answer a phone? – Merricat

 

Also – SALE – Threadless (linked below) has everything on sale through September 6! So if you’re keen to make your home just a bit more guinea piggy like I always am, it’s cheaper to do so until September 6th at Threadless

You know who would be terrible babysitters…these ladypigs, but they’re definitely about to be watched in the dark in this parody.
Threadless
Redbubble

I don’t think the title fits.

65. A Touch of Madness – Lavinia Harris

When I saw this title and a happy couple in a public phone booth on the cover, I did not expect a tale of computer game espionage that escalated to murder, a bombing, side swiping someone in a Ferrari, and gambling. I really expected it to be psychological, maybe a couple of kids who weren’t allowed to be together, regardless of their computer skills. Apparently this is an entry in a series about Joshua and Sidney and their own supercomputer named Samantha, in 1985, solving a computer espionage situation becuase as a couple that’s what they do. Solve crimes using their supercomputer, which is sort of portable, in several boxes.

Honestly, this was a very wacky story. Wacky. It moved a tad too quickly between giant crime to giant crime and the adults were way too slow and yet too fast to believe Josh and Sidney and also the clothing was very acutely described. I really wasn’t expecting this kind of madness from that cover and I didn’t find the highjinks that ensued particularly enjoyable.

 

Horace, tired of the madness and the ensuing of highjinks.

 

Horace deals with Prince of Darkness-level computer madness.
Redbubble

A very insulting situation

As I have mentioned on this blog multiple times, I have my work available in two places –

My Redbubble page: https://www.redbubble.com/people/guineapigsbooks/explore?page=1&sortOrder=recent

My Threadless page:  – https://guineapigsandbooks.threadless.com/

And I have mentioned earlier this year that I have had several of my works stolen. Well, it’s become a bit of a plague I have to check on every few weeks. However, I’ve run into a new situation with Redbubble where I found and reported work of mine being stolen and THEY ARE NOT TAKING IT OFF THE THIEF’S PAGE!!! As you may be able to tell, this makes me angry.

I have reported stolen works to them before and had them taken down promptly, which is their policy and what’s supposed to happen. However, this time, that’s not happening. I have sent four takedown notices via their form or email thus far and all of them have included the information they are supposed to in addition to carefully worded non-consent statements because those are what is required for theft.

So, I have had tension headaches and stomach aches for the past several days because I cannot understand why taking down one person’s thievery is not happening. They say they take art theft seriously. They say. It’s not me who stole something and I’m not reporting it stolen without cause, it is my work, no one ever has permission to try to pass off my work as theirs or put it up on their pages anywhere for the selling of anything, especially not products I do not want my guinea pigs on, which of course all the thieves do… disgusting pieces of shit that they are.

The work in question is Guinea Pig Gothic Miffy, which is my queen painting of Murderface, which I just put up a post about on August 15th.

“I’m a stranger to my own soul.”

One of the reasons this twists my guts and hurts my head is that my work is about my actual pigs, my actual family of pigs. These are not random guineas. This is my little girl, Murderface, the pig that ended my moratorium of not having pigs because I was at universities getting too many degrees to be employable.

Here’s me and Murderface in the before time:

This is right after I got her. Me and little miss Miffy.

 

Here she is perched on my fist, a conqueror forever.

 

If Murderface was still alive, she would be murdering these thieves and slow takedown processes everywhere. Which brings me to another reason this bothers me so very much, it’s a violation of my honored dead.

I am hoping I will not have to send more takedown notices and it will be dealt with, but I will send one every single damn day until they take down the theft. I am in part creating this post because I couldn’t find much information about others having this exact problem where you followed the procedure and it wasn’t addressed and you weren’t asked for any further information. So, now there’s an account. Words like “prompt” and “swift” have meanings, but apparently not in this case.

 

By the way, the thief’s Redbubble username is LuciousFeil and he’s also stolen Rosemary Wells’ illustrations of Max and Ruby. What a dope is the nicest thing I can say and I am truly holding myself back from making comments on the theft page where they added a shitty green background that doesn’t match the color scheme or the origins of my painting because LuciousFeil does not know anything about my work they stole. It is very hard not to tell them I hope they get tertiary syphilis toot suite, especially as the takedown is delayed for unknown reasons.