Leandra Medine's Blog, page 590

If You Need Some New Instagram Accounts to Follow…

Instagram feed looking more stale than a bag of Doritos left overnight in a damp environment tastes? Well that’s disgusting. And sad. Allow me to help:

If you love an esoteric pop-culture references that can, on occasion, inspire your next outfit…

Follow: @TheLightweights

Also good for: Waves of nostalgia, costumes that no one will understand but you will love, guaranteed Tumblr re-blogs and an endless visual surplus for those days when you have nothing good to put up on Instagram (but have that craving)

✔️

A photo posted by @thelightweights on Oct 5, 2015 at 10:29am PDT

If you like your Insta-feed to trip for you so that you can still drive home… Follow: @Eugenia_Loli Also good for: any sort of creativity block, to purchase cheap artwork for your apartment, a nice juxtaposition against @ChillWildlife

Slightly newer version of my older “Kundalini” collage. #collage #collageart #kundalini #dmt #psychedelic #lsd #shrooms #couple #vintage #arte #art A photo posted by Eugenia Loli (@eugenia_loli) on Oct 6, 2015 at 2:36pm PDT

If you frequently tag your friends in random things that remind you of them…

Follow: @ImAmySedaris

Also good for: People who don’t mind when the same person posts a few times in a row, weird moods, bad moods, going “ha!” out loud thus startling whoever’s next to you, fans of @EarlBoykins, Amy Sedaris fans in general

@earlboykins

A photo posted by Amy Sedaris (@imamysedaris) on Oct 27, 2015 at 11:42pm PDT

If you like to know your models, want to see more gender diversity in fashion and wish you were around for the heyday of Studio 54… Follow: @HariNef, the first openly transgender model signed to IMG Also good for: feeling like you’re at the same party, learning how to pose, great bangs

#ladygodiving on a white horse in a @dior catsuit lmao

Do I Like Him? A Helpful Guide

Date went well?  Consider these three words (they are not the ones you think they are).

For as decisive as we are in our list of significant other ideals, life has taught us that very rarely does anyone have a perfect résumé, nor does a perfect résumé mean he or she will be a perfect match. Attraction, like modern dating and Facebook’s most truthful status, is complicated.

We tend to know when we hate someone. And though the falling part is tricky, we know once we’re in love. It’s the in-between that’s tricky. The early stages of “like.” It is because of this that I’ve put together the below guide if you find yourself wondering, “Do I like this person, or did I just like their shoes?”

And if you’re already self-assured in your current romantic state? Turn it into a drinking game. Pluck the petals off a flower each time you answer one of these questions and put a modern spin on that old classic, “He loves me, he loves me not.” Instead: “I like him, I like him, shot.”

Illustration by Katlyn D’Angelo; follow her on Instagram.

The post Do I Like Him? A Helpful Guide appeared first on Man Repeller.

Love May Stink, but Love Potion is a Lie

Though my intentions were never cannibalistic, I have, at least a few times, wanted to take a bite out of someone I loved. Just a chomp — like that of a puppy or a bipolar cat. I’m not alone: “Oh please don’t go,” the Wild Things said to Max, “We’ll eat you up—we love you so.” Clingy, yes, but not aggressive. Affectionate.

Such compulsions never helped me to be empathetic toward the vampiric urges of Twilight’s Edward Cullen. His were twisted: he was in love with a woman whose blood he wanted to drink.

Though food versus romance is a choice that anyone who’s ever been drunk has had to make, Edward’s violent dichotomy never made any sense to me. His love interest, Bella, smells so good — better than the average human — that Edward struggles to not kill her for dinner. But he loves her! Were her pheromones that intense? (I didn’t know if humans even had pheromones. I’d just heard rumors around the Internet.) It wasn’t until I began meddling in the messy world of scent, seduction and pheromones, however, that it became a little more clear.

Kind of.

First: what are pheromones? I had no real idea, so I asked Dr. Haiqing Zhao, a professor of biology at the Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland, who told me that the term is loosely defined and may differ among those who study them. For this purpose, let’s talk about pheromones as they relate to heterosexual attraction. Pheromones are chemical signal molecules that help members of the same species communicate: “Hey, I’m a male mouse. You’re a female mouse. Let’s gruyere it on.” They elicit innate, stereotyped behavior, and quantity helps. This means that the same male mouse will cause all female mice to respond similarly (“Cool, yea, let’s hook up!) regardless of his bad pick up line, and the male with the most pheromones will get the chicks.

Men, please note: This does not work the same for you.

Also note: Websites claiming to sell human pheromone molecules to seem more attractive might as well be selling you water. The science isn’t there.

However, pheromones have been found in every part of the animal kingdom according to Dr. Tristram Wyatt, zoologist and senior research associate at the University of Oxford who specializes in the evolution of pheromones and animal behavior. The problem is that they’re harder to prove in humans.

When we think of pheromones, we think of smell. Many animals sense pheromones through their vomeronasal organs. It’s like a second nose. We human beings do not have a vomeronasal organ. We just have the boring, olfactory-sensing kind of nose — which is why many scientists believed we could not possibly be receptive to pheromones. However, mice detect many pheromones with their “regular” nose, so it’s possible we do, too.

It’s also been shown that human babies respond to the scentless pheromones of nursing mothers by suckling. Any mother’s pheromones will do, proving that A) babies are not loyal and B) humans can respond to pheromones. These ones are just not sex-related.

But I’m going to complicate things. If we do smell sex pheromones through our olfactory organ, it’s very hard to rule out all the other factors going on in our nose as it relates to attraction. Smells attract us, too.

Which brings us to pheromone parties. Have you heard of them? I had not. Wyatt told me about them during our conversation. The gist is that you sleep in the same shirt for three nights, then put it in a plastic bag that is color-coded to connote male or female. You bring it to the party where the bag is numbered. Only you know your number. It’s like sexual coat check! All the numbered shirt bags go on the table, and then, throughout the night, guests are encouraged to sniff at their leisure. If a shirt smells attractive to you, you take a photo holding the numbered bag and if the stinker sees and thinks you’re cute, then guess what, it’s a potential match.

Calling them “pheromone parties” is a bit of a misnomer – personal preference doesn’t factor into a response to pheromones; if you’ve got ‘em, your species wants you. (And again, it’s about quantity. Whoever had the most would get all the votes.) Preference does factor into smell, though.

Wyatt explained that what could be going on here is a detection in immunological differences, since your immune system affects the way you smell. Mammals tend to prefer mates with a different scent than their own, because the combination of two immune systems means offspring will be more resistant to disease. A Swiss university demonstrated this immunological scent preference in humans as well, but according to Wyatt, the results have been hard to replicate. Still, it’s a theory.

The other thing that could be going on at these parties is that people detect smells associated with positive memories.

I emailed the woman who created Pheromone Parties. Her name is Judith Prays and she’s an artist living in LA. According to Prays, “People at the parties hate perfume/cologne/artificial smells. They come here for the real thing.” But perfumes and colognes can be attractive, too. I used to date a guy years ago whose cologne smelled so amazing that to this day, when I catch a whiff of it, I’m thrown off guard. I was with a male friend at a bar who dropped our conversation to chase after a girl who he didn’t see but he “had to find out who smelled so good.”

That’s because we learn to like certain smells. “Humans are social animals,” Dr. Zhao told me. “So much of our behavior is influenced by social content.” Tristram Wyatt speaks to the influence culture has on our olfactory preferences in his Ted Talk when describing the British’s fondness for blue Stilton cheese. “Liking it is incomprehensible to people from other countries,” he jokes. It’s an acquired taste. So are certain perfumes. Think about about what your grandma wears — you may have a nostalgic fondness for it, but it’s likely not what’s popular among your peers.

I spoke with Le Labo co-founder Eddie Roschi about perfume and attraction. He doesn’t care about “what’s popular.” He and his partner develop luxury perfumes for themselves and hope that there will be people who agree with their creative point of view. However, “Once those perfumes are out there and a woman becomes your client,” he said, “then the perfume does not belong to you any more. She appropriates that scent and it becomes part of her personal story, how she projects herself. It’s at that point the perfume becomes sexual.”

We spoke about how perfume has the ability to transform its wearer in the same way a new dress might — the energy she gives off, the confidence she exudes. These factors can attract someone to you. Because smell is so linked to memory, it affects the receptiveness of others to your perfume, too. What might be enticing to one person because it evokes happy memories of childhood or a past love could do nothing for another.

Kilian Hennessy, founder of the new high end perfume company By Kilian, brought up similar sentiments. Both men also asked me the same thing when I mentioned my friend who chased that great-smelling woman: What happened when he found her?

Nothing. No attraction.

“Perfume is attractive because people think it’s beautiful, it works in their aesthetic sensibility,” said Roschi. “But that’s not sufficient to make a connection between two human beings.”

Of course, this doesn’t stop perfumers from bottling desire. (Hennessy makes a scent called, “Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi.”) We’re humans. We want to be desirable. But we should take comfort in the fact that despite what “the Internet” may have promised about synthetic pheromones to improve your romantic life or anything of similar ilk, love potions do not exist.

More than one person I spoke with brought up “The Perfume: The Story of a Murderer” by Patrick Süskind. Hennessy gave me the shortened version: It’s the story of man born without his own smell who becomes obsessed with capturing that of female virgins. He kills them and bottles their essence, thus creating the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world.

And how does it end? The elixir this murderer created was so powerful, made him smell so attractive, that unlike one stoic Edward Cullen with otherworldly self-control, the townspeople couldn’t help themselves: They gobbled him up.

Illustrated by Meghann Stephenson.  Love Man Repeller?  Get social with us on Facebook, Twitter, and Manstagram (aka Instagram).

The post Love May Stink, but Love Potion is a Lie appeared first on Man Repeller.

Accidental Style Icon: Tom Wolfe

When people talk about finding a uniform and sticking to it, they are often presented with the kind of blasé clothing options that make you second guess the efficacy of a uniform to begin with. Yes, sure, it’s easy to wear a black t-shirt and jeans every single day but it’s also distinctly boring. And you know what they say about distinct boredom, right?

It sucks. It’s lifeless. It’s Prozac sans-Pro. Which just makes it zac. And zac without Pro is futile. Like a uniform you grow to hate due to the banality of its character. It takes the YOLO out of getting dressed and turns clothes into the fabric equivalent of like, jury duty.

Who wants to be reminded — or remind others! — of jury duty, I ask?

This is perhaps why so many of us, no matter how hard we attempt to extol its virtues, shy away from the uniform.

See, but then there’s Tom Wolfe (important pioneer in the construction of new journalism, author of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, for the uninitiated), who took the concept of a uniform and turned it on its head by introducing a brand new theory on wearing the same thing every day: why not YOLO-dress within the confines of your selected garment-edit, right? Where we think dark when we see suits, he thinks white.

A crisp white suit! Every single day! Because, really, who’s to say that the uniform must be as dull as a slice of hour-old multi-grain toast?

Grab brevity by the Mardi Gras necklace.Take the complex and make it as simple as a decision that you make every day

To be

Reliable

And to look

Extraordinary.

I leave you with a quote by the ineffable author: “You never realize how much of your background is sewn into the lining of your clothes.”

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis

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November Horoscopes, Fresh Out the Oven

Two great things happened today. 1) Chanel launched e-commerce on their site. The first items to be sold are sunglasses (the SS16 runway ones with all the little pearls!) — very timely considering that we cannot look directly at November’s sun without shades or the help of Astrology Zone’s Susan Miller, and 2) speaking of: it’s horoscope time.

Because it’s cuffing season (but also because the second half of November is gonna be a little bit…annoying for every sign) let us focus primarily on November’s better half, and love. Who needs cantankerous self-fulfilling prophecies, anyway? Not us. Some call it denial, I call it strategy.

You with me? Got the galaxy and an apple in your eyes? Good. Let’s do this.

Scorpio

Happiest of birthdays, Scorpios. If last month sucked, then welcome to the least hot nightclub in town where everyone was let in regardless of their birthday date but then once inside, the crowd looked around and said, “This blows.” (Q: Why didn’t anyone leave? A: Uber was surging. B: You can’t escape the planets.)

However, Susan Miller promises that the first half of November will rule in comparison. You are about to experience one of the strangest paradoxes I’ve seen in a ‘scope. On November 11, your social life is going to kick into high gear thanks to the new moon, Virgo and Venus acting as your personal Red Bull cocktail. (Hella wingz.) At the same time, you’ll finally be able to relax this month. This, my friends, is the holy grail of life.

BUT WHAT ABOUT LOVE?

Hang tight, Heart — hair band of all that is 1980s glory, I am getting there. Neptune, ruler of your love sector, has been retrograde since June. This almost makes me feel bad for giving shit primarily to Mercury (where’s a Uranus joke to lighten the mood when you need one). Neptune’s gonna kick it into high gear to round out romance in November, however. Floss and be ready for all the little cues of a potential dalliance.

Sagittarius

A word to the wise, Sag: start peppering your imminent birthday date into casual conversations and group text messages. Where this used to feel petty, it is now extremely important. Everyone is deleting their birthdates off Facebook; don’t add to the stress of your fellow celestial crew (or yourself) and just be up front. I’m telling you this because I want help you avoid friend drama on the 23rd. I’m also telling you because you’re about to be extremely successful in your career — plant the seeds now and the money tree should pop up around March 2016; think of the whole birthday thing as an exercise in prioritization and not procrastinating. OR SOMETHING. I’m mostly just scared I’m gonna forget.

With that PSA out of the way, let’s look toward November 8 when Venus, the planet of love, will make you undeniably charming until December 5th. Don’t say no to holiday parties just because you think the red Starbucks cups are starting too soon: how cute would a meet-cute sound if a meet-cute could meet meat (at a holiday fête)?

Capricorn

I DO NOT KNOW WHY SUSAN PUT THIS AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HOROSCOPE SO I AM PUTTING IT AT THE TOP IN CAPS: “The first week of November is also your best for finding beautiful things to wear for the coming season, so do some focused shopping!” Don’t have to tell you twice, amiright? (Try a mini skirt, a turtleneck or this sparkling bundle of funcrap.)

She did open with this, however, which is theoretically more important: “You have a beautiful chart at the moment, for it shows a lovely balance between career success and time for romance and friends.” Not that horoscopes are a contest, but when it comes to November, you might win.

You have until the 10th to work the most of your aphrodisiac magic. Friday, November 6, in particular, looks to be especially lucky. Wear a cool dress on the subway immediately and get yourself a date. No date? So what. Your social life this month will be packed with all the sol(ar) mates you need.

Aquarius

Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy me one more month to tell you about love, right? We’ll do some smooching in December. Sorry to sound like a dad obsessed with your studies or high school football career, but for now, you need to focus on your professional life. It will pay off. The new moon on November 11 is going to light the shit out of your tenth house of honors, awards, achievement and fame. This isn’t just a good thing, Martha Stewart. It’s a great thing.

You also have the Sun and Mercury in this house, two planets that still call Jupiter and Pluto on their cell phone. The four of them are talking like a group of friends reunited after a weekend away together. But just as that eventually dies down, this connection is short-lived, too. Make the most of this time to do whatever you can: use your network, apply to everything, hand out your card and look at job listings. Push for the promotion. Negotiate salary benefits. Most importantly: reach for big steps up. Screw the lateral move! You’ve got the planets on your side for a very short time, so get rich or die trying.

But please don’t die.

Pisces

You can sort of nap until November 11th because for you, fish stick, that’s where the best part of the month is hanging out. Susan marks this as incredible time for you career-wise, though note that like the Aquababies above you, you’ll need the help of someone else to take Thriller’s prediction to the next level. (She suggests a headhunter, a business partner or an agent just in case your name is Vincent Chase.)

Slow-mofo Pluto is going to help you too, but imagine he’s on a stair chair ascending toward you: be patient. Pluto has been known to work miracles.

Jupiter is also getting in on the action. (Despite the threesome between Pluto, Jupiter and your sign, Uranus is nowhere to be found. Strange.) But Jupiter didn’t come for the orgy, oh no. Jupiter came to make it rain on you. 

Don’t know what to do with all that money? Put it where your Instagram can see it and plan a mid-month trip abroad.

Aries

Though it sounds counterintuitive, Susan Filofax Thriller wants you to schedule all of your socializing in the first two weeks of November and cancel everything else for the second half of the month besides Thanksgiving or large meals in general if you’re not American. Who needs plans when you’re blacked out on food?

But like Rihanna said, “Bla bla bla.”  Let’s talk about love instead. November 10th is your day, Casanova. We have the friendship of Jupiter and the sun to thank here. They’re going to high five — a cosmic clap that does not require antibiotics unless you get the old Honeymoon disease from excessive love making with your new romantic partner. Nothing really puts the kill on a buzzing fire quite like talk of UTIs and the stale-bread words “romantic partner,” but that’s just my point: I mentioned all those things and yet nothing can put the kill on your buzz come November 10th.

Here’s something interesting: the same date will also bring “strong, positives financial developments” per Susan. You know what else? She thinks your new crush might be someone at work. In the words of my mom: HAVE FUN, BE CAREFUL.

Taurus

You know how it feels like everyone has a significant other or is getting engaged except for you right now? …Our ruling planet Venus is no exception to that rule. She’s with her “lover,” Mars, and she’s all like, “4.6 billion years ago, I met my best friend!” But I swear this works in our romantic favor this November.

“A golden day for a tender love experience will be November 10,” writes Susan euphemistically about our projected sex lives. “Possibly your best day of the month. Jupiter will glide through your true love sector (fifth house) and link to the Sun in your commitment sector.” Sounds like the natural lubrication of astrological arousal.

The 11th will be our most important day courtesy of the new moon. It will push us to make commitments, so let’s sign papers, make partnerships official and say yes those sandals and that sexy dress. The 23rd will be stressful, but we made it through frickin’ October. Susan assures: we can handle this. Kelly Clarkson the shit out of this date, because what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

Gemini

You are going to like November so much more than October, and not because you’re one of those people who hates dressing up for Halloween but loves an ugly sweater convention. On November 3rd, it’s possible you met someone via a family member choreographed set up? That sounds terrifying, but maybe you have a cool older sister or a grandma active in the community. I know your sign, not your life.

On November 13, Venus and Saturn will be as cordial and lovely to one another as two friends are who’ve just gotten back together after a fight: “Darling Venus, will you kindly pass the salt?” “Of course I will, Saturn, thank you so very much for asking so nicely.” (Show idea: Downtown Abbey, but with planets. Didn’t they just sound British in the prior dialogue?) Note that Saturn, when it is not busy being a car company that no longer exists, is also the planet of long-term thinking. It brings together your house of love and marriage, like Peg Bundy. This means that talks of defining the relationship are bound to happen. “What are we” just got so less existential.

Cancer

If you’ve got a Pinterest board, Venus and Mars are going to help you redecorate. “To have both Venus and Mars together is a great blessing, for this rarely happens,” writes Suz, “these are known as the cosmic lovers, adding a sexy touch.” I know she’s talking about a funky zebra pillow or something, but what about the other kind of “sexy touch?”

On November 10, there’s a good chance that you could meet someone “when you least expect it,” so I’m sort of sorry I ruined your John Cusack moment. But now you won’t have to spend, like, half of a rom-com wearing one bad, boob-tent-y, corporate blue button down shirt. (Watch the skating rink scene of Serendipity then call me. You will know what I mean.) Pluto’s in your commitment center (remember: he can always take your last name, too, ya know) but what’s most exciting is that new moon on November 11. “It will be the first and only new moon of 2015 to have such a strong effect on your love life,” writes Matchmaker Miller. For your sign, this moon is practically Viagra.

Leo

Your November starts off with money, Leo. Feel free to take me out to lunch or something if you’re bored. But you won’t be! You will be too busy mopping up after your financially lucrative month that is apparently so financially lucrative, $usan Cha-Ching-Cha-Ching Miller found it hard to talk about anything else besides like, maybe don’t travel around the 23rd but do travel (within a very specific 500 miles of your home base) around November 13th. You’re gonna love the way book (it), I guarantee it.

November 10th is going to be one of the best for you. You’ll be happy on this day. Feel free to sleep until then, then swim in your money after. I hardly doubt anyone will care so long as you invite friends over to the pool in your newly redecorated mansion with three dogs, two Ferraris, one kid and crumpled up paper reminding you that although completely stupid and pointless, the game of MASH may have predicted more than we ever realized.

And if you have an interview this day? Lion in and negotiate that higher $alary.

Virgo

“Life is glorious,” Susan Miller remarks of your current state. What a nice way to start a horoscope, I think. She’s so excited for you because not only do you have Jupiter, Kel Thompson’s favorite word and the planetary giver of gifts and luck, in your sign for the first time in twelve years (that is almost a Bar Mitzvah!), you also have Mars in your sign, too.  With these two on your side (and this Google hangout will not last long — someone always has a “bad connection”) you’re likely to get a lot crossed off your seemingly ever-growing to do list.

Missed connections: Venus and Mars hooked up in your sign’s bed on November 1st. Then it happened again on November 2nd, but don’t be mad. When they Marvin Gaye and get it on, your love life blossoms because of their inner planetary romance. Keep your eyes out for The One. If you’re already locked down, the 18th could be the date for major movement forward. It will be positive, whatever it is, but remember: you can’t change someone. Food for thought if it seems like someone in the room is getting down on one knee while wearing velcro sneakers.

Libra

It’s business time, Libra. Not only in the way that Flight of the Conchords sang but also in business-business. As in, let’s get down to it. Mars is going to enter your sign on November 12th and hang out there until January 3rd. Per the Murray of this group, Susan Miller, this alignment means you will be in control. You’ll be the one calling the shots.

Jupiter and Pluto will be lingering like groupies around the new moon of November 11th, but they will end up helping you increase your income. Remember: the planets assist and create energy (and are great for blaming things) but you’re the one who has to take action to make your WiLdEsT DrEaMz happen. You’ll be very lucky in the days following the new moon, but it won’t last. “You must use it or lose it, dear Libra,” says Miller.

Now let’s talk the other kind of business: shopping. We all know the power that clothing and beauté has when it comes to influencing how we act. Color your hair or buy a new something that makes you feel good November 17th or 18th. You either already know someone, will meet someone as a result or you don’t/won’t. At the very least, you’re going to have fun.

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej.

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Essena O’Neill: The Instagram Star Who Quit Social Media

Essena O’Neill is brave. You’ve heard about her, right? The social media star who quit Instagram, YouTube and Tumblr to break free of the delusions and squash her addiction to the likes and the comments and the fame. She’s giving up a modeling career, sponsored posts and adoring fans because she’s tired of being fake. That word, “brave,” is the one you’ll catch most frequently if you scroll through the comments of her now defunct Instagram account. It’s as though her followers — old and new — have been longing for someone to break through the glass screen of their phone and tell them that none of this is real.

“No shit it’s fake,” was my kind, thoughtful, initial reaction. But I’m jaded: I work in this world. The fourth wall has long been broken. When I see a model smiling with a coconut on the beach, I do not think, “Goals.” I assume she’s photoshopped then think, “I bet that model hates coconut. Good for her, though. Make money. A job’s a job.”

Young girls do not know this. The 8-year-old nor 13-year-old nor 16-year-old versions of me certainly wouldn’t. What you see in the media skews your perception of normal. I was reminded of this when conducting interviews for our story on the lack of diversity in fashion. It’s why the industry as a whole cannot rely on the ideal of “one.” Without people shouting their truths from the rooftops of their platforms, it’s much easier to carry on with filters over our eyes.

But something wasn’t sitting well with me. Was it that her actions felt too dramatic — almost to the point that I wondered, “Is this a hoax?” Was it that she kept her Instagram up (with edited captions, yes, but still: she’s accumulating followers). Was it the knowledge that every media site would pick this up for the SEO, because everyone was talking about, because they didn’t want to be left behind?

I think it’s because I felt that if we didn’t pick this up — have a Man Repeller opinion on the matter! — we’d be left behind. I work on the Internet. I’ve written sponsored posts and posted fake smiles for Instagram. “Oh shit,” I wondered. “Am I fake, too?” I definitely have been.

But I know at my core that part of what makes working here special is that we try to simultaneously entertain, do our jobs and be honest with you guys.

Surprise! I ended up writing about it. Her overall message is important: no one is perfect, “goals” are often fabricated and the reality behind so much of what we see as voyeurs of social media is no more “real” than the Real Housewives franchise. But that’s not the only reason why.

I seriously, truly needed to hear from you guys. It’s the conversation and connection that keeps the tinted windows rolled down. So, when you heard about Essena O’Neill, the former social media star who said goodbye to it all, as consumers of “content,” as digital natives and immigrants alike who work in the industry or far from it, what did you think?

All Images via @essenaoneill

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Oh Boy Podcast Episode 11: Roxie Darling

If the name Roxie Darling sounds familiar, that’s because she took our photographer Krista Anna Lewis from “dishwater” to platinum blond and was part of this long-to-short transformation, too.

Hairstory colorist Roxie Darling — the woman known for starting the Betta Fish hair trend and one of the masterminds at Hairstory (birthplace of Purely Perfect products) — isn’t afraid to make mistakes. “That’s always the best place,” she told Jay Buim in her Oh Boy podcast interview. “Then you learn how far you can push something. You never know until you cross the line.”

This statement should terrify me. Roxie does my color. Theoretically, one minute too long in foils and my hair could become that line. But I trust her; anyone who’s ever had bad streaks fixed by an angel or gets their grays covered on the regular knows that trust is a necessary bond between colorist and client. Your head is in their hands. However, there is truly something special about Roxie Darling.

She’s different. She hung out in abandoned insane asylums with friends as a kid (she notes that she’s still a kid). She moved around a lot. Lived in a sort-of cult. Was born in the 60s in a past life. Went through some shit. Sobered up. Quit her safe, corporate job because she wanted to be happier. Started something scary and new. These are the kinds of things you might learn about Roxie Darling if you spend enough time in her chair. But they’re also pieces of the complicated puzzle that add up to make someone see things differently. To feel things differently. To not be afraid to cross that line.

Listen to the podcast, though. It’s her story to tell.

Follow Roxie Darling on Twitter and Instagram. Check out Hairstory’s website and follow Hairstory on Facebook and Instagram, too. 

Follow host Jay Buim on Instagram or visit his website here; l ogo and feature illustration by Kelly  Shami

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I’m on a Tech Detox (but Promise This Isn’t Click Bait)

Here is list of things I did on Saturday:

+Got out of bed

+Almost meditated, instead ate toast with Abie (my husband), reflected on grand plans I had for myself (both personal and not) a year ago and told him I feel like a loser because they haven’t been met. (Like a truly self-indulgent narcissist, I subsequently talked myself into believing they just weren’t the right goals — but we can talk about this another time.)

+Went to Whole Foods for avocado, eggs, salmon, basil and ezekiel bread

+Came home, made scrambled eggs (with basil and truffle oil, I highly recommend it) and giuagiamoli! (that “!” is part of the name), which is what I call the Italian equivalent of guacamole a.k.a mashed avocado with lemon juice, basil and salt.

+Drank coffee, ate aforementioned eggs with my friend Roxana, talked about self-awareness

+Went for a 30-block walk in shearling, open-toe clogs and then turned around to Soho to meet two friends in town from Paris

+Met them. Spent hours together

+Came home

+Left home

+Got a pedicure

+And a back rub

+Came home

+Ordered sushi

+Checked my phone and then…

And then…

I’m not exactly sure what happened next. The Mets were on. Snapchat was on, Instagram looked shiny and new. I texted — but can’t remember with who, I tried to write this story — but ultimately found that the creative vision I hoped would drive it was still lingering at the ophthalmologist’s office. That was terrible, I’m sorry, but here’s the point: I didn’t have my phone on me from the time the sun set on Friday until it went down on Saturday. An attentive Jew might refer to this as “observance,” but I’m better suited calling it a weekly tech-fast.

In September, to combat post-summer anxiety, I implemented three new practices: Wednesday mornings as “me” mornings (as in, take your favorite magazine or the newspaper to your favorite coffee shop and sit there, in silence, for an hour before work), one night a week as a “me” night (in this scenario, I drink a glass of wine at a quiet restaurant with a book), and Saturdays as a day away from my cellphone. No text messages, no e-mails, no Instagram, nothing. Except me! And my head! And the great outdoors. We talk about how tired we are, how badly we have to do something about it, but we never actually do anything. So I decided to do something.

I can’t know if you’re experiencing similar feelings of fatigue spurred by hyper-connectivity but I know that feeling as though you’re losing yourself is an experience we can all relate with.

See, the thing about the list of events I participated in on Saturday is this: I remember them all. My husband and I had a great conversation that morning. I can still kind of taste the cinnamon I peppered into my coffee. The lovely check-out clerk at Whole Foods had the coolest gold stars pasted onto her face. That walk I took was freeing. I was held accountable to show up at a lunch that had been arranged the previous week with zero check-in and I succeeded! I was aware, and fully invested, and not trying to chalk myself up to a genius multi-tasker because multitasking is not a real thing.

But at that lunch, I wish I’d had my phone. I realized half way through a sparkling conversation on the state of fashion that I wanted to tape record our conversation to turn it into a story but then I realized that if I did have my phone, I’m not sure we’d have had that conversation. Because even if I were not to check it while we were eating, I’d know it was there — like an infant in a carriage who may be sleeping but is still very much alive, so I wouldn’t be free. And that’s what this comes down to, right? The complicated pursuit of freedom in a world that looks and feels and acts like it’s free but traps us in the footnotes.

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis

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Facebook Is Our Digital Junk Drawer

Ladies, gents, comrades of the Internet, we’re a mess.

No offense.

But let’s face it: we’ve spent the past decade of our lives tossing our random memories into a cloistered section of the Internet that’s starting to resemble the box of knick-knacks you’ve been carting around since you moved out of your parents’ house.

I’m talking about Facebook, the social media junk drawer of our lives.

Even the neatest of freaks out there are likely guilty. How could you not be? Practically 40% of our lives are stored in our Facebook profiles.

Did you hear me?! A decade!!

Braces, breakups, the freshman fifteen — it is all in there.

What was once a simple news feed and a handful of photo albums that helped us appear like “normal” potential college roommates has turned into disarray. If anyone new were to go snooping now, it would make for a terrible first impression.

Like the bin labeled “miscellaneous” under my bed, I try to keep Facebook closed. For the most part. (Ignorance is bliss.) But every time a friend request from a co-worker, a new pal or an obscure family member pops up, I’m forced to come face-to-face with my clutter.

Clicking “confirm” is like inviting guests over without cleaning up first, and I’ve read far too much Emily Post to let that happen.

Thankfully, there’s a certain degree of understanding among millennial contemporaries that our profiles are all kind of a wreck. It’s nice to know that I don’t have to cringe when I use Facebook to reach out to old childhood friends. Those people knew me before I discovered leave-in conditioner, so I’m safe from judgment. But I’ve certainly drawn the line at taking new friendships to that social media level.

No one wants to grant new friends access to the steep rabbit hole of our lives.

So, how did it come to this? How did we spiral into Facebook clutter oblivion? Like any mess, there’s a tipping point, the moment when a pile goes from acceptably untidy to utter disaster.

Let’s blame time. Life spent working in the real world means we have less time to flip through rogue-tagged Spring Formal pics.

We have less time time to filter: The mass photo albums, event requests, group invites and game challenges – the sheer volume of stuff became too much.

We have less time to spare: Figure out the privacy settings? Do you also plan on mastering astrophysics overnight?

Instagram, on the other hand, is the sleek minimalist desk we finally purchased. No more cluttered drawers, just neat stacks of magazines, an ironic paperweight and an artisanal candle. It’s where we messy keepers of the original Facebook generation share a much more conscious rendering of ourselves. It’s our updated resume.

However, like any good junk drawer, we know there’s vital stuff in there. Facebook is the keeper of birthdays, engagements and updates on the kids who grew up on your block. These reminders are like safety pins in the most crucial of moments.

Facebook may be messy. It’s certainly not “curated,” but neither is real life. Double chins may have been untagged, but some memories are too good to delete. We’re too nostalgic to clean it.

Besides: junk drawers are gold mines for Instagram TBTs.

Also, if you are thinking about changing your profile picture don’t do so blindly and  Consider this first.

Illustrated by Max Dower of Unfortunate Portrait.

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Shoesday Surprise: Sanayi 313

Shout out once again to Instagram for introducing me to a cool new thing: Sanayi 313. Deena Abdulaziz, founder of the high fashion Middle Eastern boutique D’NA, posted a photo of the brand’s embellished slippers on her account. They were similar in shape to the babouches I saw in Morocco, a style of shoe that Brother Vellies’ Aurora James has been making for 2 years with a family owned workshop in Marrakech and a design that appeared on the Spring 16 runway at Acne and The Row. (Turns out the shape of the shoe that caught my eye came from the classic “çarık” slippers of the Ottoman Palace. Women wore them with their şalvar and kaftans.) There were also sandals with fringe and pom poms. They were strange and beautiful and flat — all the things one seems to crave in a post-normcore world.

So, I did what anyone with a proper crush would do: a bit of light and legal stalking.

Turns out Sanayi 313 isn’t just a shoe brand. The footwear was born out of a Turkish concept boutique that combines interior furnishings, fashion and food. (A restaurant sits on the same floor as furniture, home accessories and apparel.) Upstairs lives the design studio.

I learned this and more in speaking with Sanayi 313 co-founder Serena Uziyel, a Parsons School of Design Graduate who honed her shoe-making technique in Milan and Florence. Below, a fast interview:

You said you worked at Zara before moving back to Isanbul to build Sanayi 313 with your partners Enis and Amir Karavil. How did that prepare you to start your own business?

Zara was one of the best experiences I had. It’s where I started to experiment with lot of different textures and materials. One day, I cut a kilim from Istanbul and put together a mock-up in the office. The next day we had the shoe sample up on the table to be distributed all over the world. Everything is very fast there. I had access to a great supply chain; I learned that this business needs creativity but you also need to have a great system of organization to survive.

How did you begin working with Amir and Enis?

They’re brothers, and I knew Enis for a long time. Amazingly, we share the same aesthetic and vision. Enis dragged me into the project, then my passion for making shoes and bags came to the surface and we decided to go ahead with our own brand. We started to sell from the boutique and got great feedback. The international buyers approached us and now we’re starting to expand internationally. It all started by experimenting with new ideas.

Enis is a great interior designer; he came up with the idea of taking a car repair shop and turning it into the space for Sanayi 313. The store is located in the industrial zone of Maslak Ataturk Oto Sanayi, but the neighborhood is quickly becoming the new area for artists.

Speaking of artists, can you tell me about the traditional Ottoman weaving you mentioned in your first email?

You can see lots of delicate metallic weaving on the caftans of the Ottoman Empire. In Turkey, this tradition of weaving is starting to disappear. We take these elements of Ottoman traditional weaving and recreate it in exclusive artisanal workshops in India, Italy and Turkey. I spend time with the artists and execute each technique with them. It takes 18 hours to complete one embellishment on one pair of shoes.

There are several stages involved in making the embroidery. Each artwork is executed with rigorous precision. Composing textures with raffia is another attribute of the collection. It is almost impossible to repeat the same pattern or texture.

Hands are very important instruments; I always prefer to start playing around with materials and techniques rather than drawing.

Why shoes?

The desire to create big things on small surfaces. Everything is hidden in the details. It all starts with the shoes.

Visit the Sanayi 313 website here and Instagram here. Their online shop will be up and mid-February. For more information on international stockists and where to buy online, email ask@sanayi313.com.

Feature collage by Krista Anna Lewis

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