Leandra Medine's Blog, page 44

Help Me Compile a List of Go-To Weeknight Dinner Recipes

My fantasy version of one H. Harling Ross is a woman who gets to inbox zero every day, folds her clean underwear instead of just crumpling it up and squishing it into a drawer, has perpetually fresh breath, and cooks dinner on weeknights regularly. The latter is a goal I’m particularly annoyed I haven’t achieved, because it seems like low-hanging fruit. Some people cook dinner every day! So why do I always default to cobbling together random snacks from my refrigerator at best, or ordering takeout at worst?? Can I even call myself a real adult if my version of an evening “meal” consists of a heated-up link of precooked chicken sausage, a yogurt, an apple, two bowls of popcorn, and some Hershey’s kisses? Don’t answer that. But do, please, answer this: What’s your go-to weeknight dinner recipe?

I ask because I think if I had a solid starting point–i.e. some reliable, vetted recipes, I could become the type of person who cooks dinner regularly after work. In my mind, an ideal weeknight dinner recipe should be:

+ Easy to make (no fancy cooking tricks or obscure ingredients)

+ Quick to make (under 30 minutes?)

+ Reasonably healthy (because it’s a weeknight and I’m trying to nourish responsibly)

+ Suitable for solo diners (one or two night’s worth of leftovers is fine, but I don’t want to be stuck with eight extra portions of chicken pot pie….)

If these criteria are making your brain go ding! ding! ding! with a recipe idea–or multiple–then feel free to drop the deets, or a link, in the comments below. Let’s compile our very own database for easy, quick, reasonably healthy, solo diner-friendly recipes that will turn any staunch takeout addict into a bonafide chef. Hopefully I’m not the only mooch out there who stands to benefit.

Photos by Suzanne Saroff.

The post Help Me Compile a List of Go-To Weeknight Dinner Recipes appeared first on Man Repeller.

Which Lunchtime Workouts Are Actually Possible? I (Sweatily) Investigated

For Halloween last year, I dressed up as Deathleisure. This meant donning my finest Nike lycra, adding a couple of ketchuppy wounds to my ensemble, and posting a photo to Instagram captioned: “Yoga really killed me today.”

Whilst my costume may have poked fun at athleisure culture, in reality I’m (deathly) serious about trying to make more time for exercise in 2020 (a highly original resolution, I’m sure you’ll agree). But how to fit it in? In the mornings I like to sleep, in the evenings I’m too tired, and on the weekends I’d rather see my friends.

Ladies and gentlemen: I offer you the lunchtime workout.

I often hear colleagues extolling the benefits of a quick lunchtime class, heading off merrily around noon and returning to the office radiating what I can only imagine is the glow of someone successfully grasping the holy grail of millennial existence: work-life balance. Keen to emulate these corporate unicorns, I embarked on a trial run, testing a week’s worth of workouts to find out which might help me on my quest to join the ranks of ladies who crunch. Perhaps my journey will help you too?

1. Boxing

The Class: To clarify, this was actually boxcon (or rather BOXCON—the gym I attended is one where all the classes are written IN CAPITALS just so you know you’re getting a FUCKING GOOD WORKOUT). In this instance the “con” refers to conditioning, which meant 45 minutes of intensive circuits interspersed with periods of punching. The class was tough, but after a morning spent grappling with my overflowing inbox, it felt good to imagine taking a swing at all those pesky emails.

The Regroup: In terms of sweat factor, I was drenched. This made it one of the longer classes I tried, simply due to time spent in the shower slathering myself in complimentary Malin & Goetz products. My muscles had also turned to jelly, making performing practical tasks such as getting dressed a little slower than usual.

The Aftermath: I’d recommend this as a lunchtime workout for someone who already has a good level of fitness. There’s definitely something to be said for a brutal power hour to break up the monotony of a day at a desk, but for fairweather fitness fans such as myself, the intensity proved pretty tiring. Also, if you’re in a super strict workplace it might be hard to find time for the shower required afterward. Nevertheless, my mood was definitely boosted and I was buzzing with exhausted elation for the rest of the day.

Total Time Away From Desk: 1.5 hours

Overall Lunchtimeability: 6/10

2. Yoga

The Class: Whilst I might have given yoga a bad rap on Halloween, this Vinyasa class was actually perfect. A few sun salutations, a couple of downward dogs, and a nice moment in child’s pose took me out of the mental mayhem of the work day, reminding me how grounding it feels to take some deep breaths and connect to something more spiritual.

The Regroup: Often when I go to the beach, I’ll abstain from showering afterwards in order to let the salty residue sit on my skin as a memento. Similarly, I decided not to shower after this class because a) I wasn’t that sweaty and b) I thought perhaps this would make my serene afterglow last longer. Fast forward about three hours and one feels more sticky than serene, so I’d only recommend doing this provided you can bear the slight ick factor later in the day.

The Aftermath: That afternoon I felt calm, confident, and focused. What’s more, the sun salutations proved a great way to stretch out my spine after a morning spent curled over my inbox.

Total Time Away From Desk: 1 hour

Overall Lunchtimeability: 9/10

3. Sleep & Meditation Pod

The Class: Somewhere along this voyage of discovery, I decided that if it’s listed on Classpass, it counts as exercise. Having located this loophole, I booked myself a 60 minute “Sleep & Meditation pod” at a spot called “Pop n’ Rest” near my office. The session was pretty much what it said on the tin, namely a glorified nap. I couldn’t have picked a better day to do it, as I’d been suffering the after-effects of an extremely festive holiday party the night before, and had spent most of the morning wanting to pass out under my desk.

Upon arrival, a softly spoken gentleman ushered me into one of a series of small indoor cabins, replete with a freshly made bed, a dim lamp, and the vague smell of cedar. Leaving me to sleep for an hour, I was woken by a gentle knock at the door to signal that my time was up.

The Regroup: Aside from being a bit yawny, the regroup was minimal due to no change of clothes being required. The few minutes walk back to the office pepped me up enough that I felt ready for work by the time I reached my desk, not to mention amused that I’d essentially just spent an hour in a meditation motel.

The Aftermath: Whilst I could have done with staying in the pod all day, my session certainly helped. Plus, the notion of having a siesta in the middle of work feels very chic and European. Were I not so worse for wear, I imagine this “class” would have left me feeling very refreshed.

Total Time Away From Desk: 1 hour 10 mins

Overall Lunchtimeability: 8/10

4. Barre

The Class: If you haven’t yet read Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror, I’d recommend making your next workout a swift jog to the nearest bookstore. If you have, then you’ll be familiar with her searing takedown of barre class in the essay “Always Be Optimizing.” Having never tried barre myself, I was keen to see if it lived up to Tolentino’s vivid description (“barre offers you the opportunity to repeatedly clench your left butt cheek in a room full of women experiencing mute, collective, 7 a.m. agony while listening to an EDM song about banging a stranger at the club.”)

It wasn’t 7 a.m. but the class was hard. The series consisted of the kind of small, sneaky movements that start off feeling like nothing and then steadily begin to unleash a world of pain on certain localized muscle groups. Limited to 45 minutes, however, the workout felt bearable, avoiding that last 15-minute stint where everything becomes a bit boring and achy and endless.

The Regroup: I naively assumed that such a female-friendly class would muster little more than an upper lip sweat. Instead, I was rewarded for my internalized misogyny by some prolific perspiration, meaning I once again had to extend my gym time to conduct the necessary ablutions. I returned to work fresh and fragrant, albeit a little later than intended.

The Aftermath: Grappling with the tension between cynicism and submission Tolentino describes in her essay, I’ll reluctantly admit this was a great class, both overall and as a lunchtime option. Sure, it was a room full of young women, sure we were all the epitome of the athleisure generation (one woman wore a “no pain, no champagne” shirt), but the post-exercise buzz made me resist my deeper existential judgement on the grounds that it left me feeling stronger both mentally and physically.

Total Time Away From Desk: 1 hour 15 mins

Overall Lunchtimeability: 7/10

5. Pilates

The Class: Pilates always strikes me as the brown rice of workout classes—wholesome, healthy, and never really in or out of fashion, but a slightly boring choice amongst other, more flavorsome options. I decided to try reformer Pilates in the hope of giving this workout some spice, so spent the hour sliding around on an exercise daybed whilst carrying out the targeted mini moves that Pilates is famous for.

The Regroup: Like the yoga session, I didn’t work up much of a sweat, so managed to get away with skipping a shower. Workmates, if you’re reading this, sorry if I was stinky.

The Aftermath: Despite sometimes feeling rather clinical, Pilates has definitely earned its reputation as a subtle workout that leaves you feeling simply better. For the rest of the day my breathing felt easier, my spine felt longer, although I did ache a bit the following day. One downside I’d mention is that Pilates has a habit of being very expensive, particularly reformer classes, so I couldn’t afford it regularly.

Total Time Away From Desk: 1 hour 10 mins

Overall Lunchtimeability: 8/10

For those with stricter lunch hours, or looking for a low budget alternative, I also experimented with walking on the days I couldn’t manage a full class. To add a little vigor, might I recommend my canny incentive system, namely a delicious treat that can only be purchased from a suitably distant shop, adding a little motivation to a 30 minute amble.

The hardest thing about all of these workouts ended up having little to do with the activities themselves. Despite working at a company that encourages flexibility (pun always intended), my inner goody-two-shoes felt fearful about not looking like I was working hard enough, or panicking that my inbox might catch fire if I took so much as a moment away from my desk. As a result, I ended up missing or rescheduling many of the classes I’d originally booked, convincing myself I simply HAD to attend to things I later realized could definitely have waited an hour.

Thus what my lunchtime workout spree granted me was not only a chance to move my body, but also to practice the mental discipline of relinquishing control and allowing myself a break during the working day. A midday dollop of endorphins with a side of emotional growth? Sounds like a recipe for success to me.

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Trust Me, Try It: A Moisturizer That Changed the Texture of My Skin

The product: Dr. Jart+ Ceramidin Cream

The price: $48

The reason: I typically roll my eyes when I hear someone reference their skincare “journey,” but that’s literally what I set out on a few weeks ago when I realized at 8:50 p.m. on a recent weekday evening that I had run out of a tiny sample of what had become my favorite moisturizer. Said journey involved throwing on sweats and jogging to a nearby Sephora that was closing in 10 minutes, and returning home with a fresh tube of Dr. Jart+ Ceramidin Cream in my coat pocket. Victory is sweet. Calm, hydrated winter skin is even sweeter.

See All 1

My first introduction to what is now a product I apparently need in my possession at all times was via the aforementioned sample, which I received in a holiday mailer last year. I’m pretty wary of trying new products because I have rosacea and my skin is really sensitive, so I stuck it in the top drawer of my bureau and promptly forgot about it. Until! I was talking to an esthetician who happened to mention that it’s the one moisturizer she recommends to people who have burned off their acid mantle from over-exfoliation. Luckily my acid mantle was and is still intact, but it had been feeling a little raw thanks to the descent of cold weather and indoor heating. I was getting more rosacea flare-ups than usual, and when I touched my face it felt more akin to sandpaper than I would imagine is ideal. I figured if this Dr. Jart cream was good enough for an acid mantle emergency, it was good enough to ease my bout of dryness and sensitivity.

AND NO SPOILERS BUT IT WAS. I’m obsessed with the smell. It’s kind of medicinal, you know? Which makes me think it’s extra good for my skin even though it may or may not be the normal amount of good. It’s definitely at least that, because ever since I started using it I’ve noticed a pretty significant improvement in the appearance of my facial skin suit, which I’m describing as such because I feel like I’ve used the word “skin” on its lonesome too many times in this story already, and there’s really no other way of saying it without sounding like I’m abusing a thesaurus. Membrane? No thank you. Crust? Okay, maybe.

I’m also extremely into the texture, which is light but still creamy and sinks in immediately. It gives my skin an almost velvety quality. Not greasy at all. Sublime, truly. I like it so much that I did some research about why it’s so great and I learned that it contains ceramides (hence the name) which help with water retention. When you are lacking in ceramides your skin can look dull and dehydrated, and hello–if you’ll kindly recall–that’s exactly what my problem was before I started using this moisturizer!

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4 (Very Cool) New York City Teens Review Fashion Week

Back in September, we asked 12 New York City teens to tell us what they were wearing on the first day of school. Their answers about their own style were thoughtful, funny, and surprising—so much so that we decided to ask four of the most fashion-obsessed among them to come back to Man Repeller HQ and weigh in on New York Fashion Week. For good measure, we asked them to come wearing outfits inspired by their favorite runway looks, too. (Their pictures have been taken, once again, by their friend and fellow teen, photographer Olivia Wein.)

Keep reading to see the looks they put together—and find out what they think about the clothes that were sent down the runway.

Okay, let’s talk about your outfits. Which looks did you choose and how did you go about recreating them?
Coach via Vogue Runway

Jian: There were a few looks that I kind of combined into one look. The Coach show in particular had a lot of trenches and layers and sneakers and I like that—I like the juxtaposition of dressy trenches and casual sneakers. The silhouettes were kind of oversized, not very fitted, and that’s how I dress normally so I thought I’d use that as inspiration. The Stanford sweatshirt is actually my grandfather’s. It’s cute and this is my first time wearing it. I just threw it on and I think it looks good with the color of the trench.

Palm Angels via Vogue Runway

Nico: I looked at the Palm Angels show just because I didn’t like a lot of the other ones. Also, I just bought this jacket and the show had a lot of fringe, so I thought that was perfect. And I also had this shirt with all the patchwork on it. So I just kind of figured I’d put it all together. The models were wearing these big diamond necklaces which I thought was cool with the Western theme—like Jian was saying about juxtaposition.

Acne Studios via Vogue Runway

Ellison: So, mine is inspired by the Acne Studios collection that just happened in Paris. Their whole thing this time was using artificial intelligence to laser cut prints and create new flower designs. They used all these beautiful earthy tones and there was this one [beautiful] dress that was paisley—then I found this shirt at Goodwill for $3 last night! I’m wearing the belt because they used different types of textures that just blended so beautifully into one cohesive show. I was really enamored with it. And my Telfar jacket has all these cutouts and you can remove the sleeves. There were a lot of crops with interesting asymmetrical cutouts in the Acne Studio show, so I thought, why not?

Bevza via Vogue Runway

Isabella: I looked at the New York Fashion Week Instagram because I wasn’t super up to date with all the shows and I saw there was a show that Bella Hadid did and I really liked, it was more of a floral look. Rodarte! That’s where I saw the dark lip—I don’t normally do that. I wanted to contrast with the last photo shoot we did and do a darker look. I really like the whole power suit look so I decided to wear an all-black suit—this is actually my brother’s so it’s oversized on me—and shoes from this cool brand called Funtasma that are different shades of beige. I just wanted something really bold and striking.

How much attention do you pay to New York Fashion Week normally, scale of 1-10?

Jian: 6

Nico: 7

Ellison: 10

Isabella: 6

You guys mentioned earlier that your interest levels in the runway shows have waned because you’re more interested in street style and attendee style. Who do you look out for?

Jian: I can’t pinpoint one person for sure, but it’s cool to see everyone put their twist on runway pieces that they get sent to wear to the actual show. Bella brought up Bella Hadid, I feel like I always love her style in particular but I don’t pay attention to one person all the time. I love seeing new people and their quirky or new style.

Ellison: I have a few that have stayed with me since the beginning of my style awakening… @Avanope.

Nico: Yeah!

Ellison: I met her when she was working at Opening Ceremony, then she moved to be online creative director at Helmut Lang—I’ve been following the whole MoMA thing, the Gucci thing that she did herself. I love her so much. And then Sami Miró who reworks vintage—her Pyer Moss and Burberry show outfits from September fashion week? Killed me. Also Anaa Saber, Our Second Skin, her stuff is ridiculous, I love her so much.

Nico: For me it’s actually not a lot of female influencers, although I do love Ava and I’ve been following her for a long time. I like following menswear and what they wear to fashion week. I feel like there are specific womenswear trends that I get tired of seeing over and over and I think in menswear it’s more flexible. There’s one guy, Gully Guy Leo—he’s cool.

Ellison: Yesssss! In menswear, I think Rick Owens and Eckhaus Latta and a few of those unisex designers are helping expand on that. For a while, it’s just been jeans and T-shirts and it’s like… I don’t want to wear that shit! I think there’s a lot of places it can go and it’s growing.

Bella: I’d have to look at my Instagram feed. There are so many people I look at but I don’t remember their names. Last night my friend sent me a really cool red look, this girl who had red all over her eyes. There are so many influencers who wear things that are better than what’s in the show.

And last, would love your takes on some of the bigger moments during the week. Let’s look through some photos and you can share your thoughts.
This Christopher John Rogers dress pretty much won Instagram, didn’t it?
Christopher John Rogers via Getty Images

[Everyone gasps]

Ellison: Keeping New York New! York! Oh my god. I think he’s one of the people keeping New York’s integrity as a fashion city.

Nico: Yes. It’s beautiful and at the same time it feels structured. It’s just elegant.

Jian: It’s like modern and traditional at the same time.

Bella: I loved the hair so much.

Ellison: It’s all just gorgeous.

Lots of priestly collars were sent down the runway. Thoughts?
Adam Lippes (Left); Sandy Liang (Right) via Vogue Runway

Ellison: [ponders] No, thanks.

Nico: Yeah that’s going to be a no for me. I mean, do your thing, but.

Bella: I like the second one more, the peter pan style.

Jian: I actually like the other one. I like that it looks puffy, but I don’t know if it actually is?

Thick socks and open-toe shoes had a moment at Rachel Comey.
Rachel Comey via Vogue Runway

Bella: I don’t even need to see it. Yes.

Ellison: Yes and yes.

Nico: I like the thick socks. I’ve been wearing them a lot with loafers, but I don’t know about wearing them with open-toed shoes.

Jian: I like them with a really thin strapped heel, with mostly the sock showing.

Are you into clogs?
Sies Marjan via Vogue Runway

Nico: I mean, I’m Dutch, so I’m kind of for clogs [laughs]

Ellison: I think the way he did it was pretty, but I don’t know about regular wear. It crosses over to art.

Nico: Not every day, but….

Jian: That’s how I feel about so much stuff. But it looks really good with the outfits.

There were a lot of mullets at Fashion Week. What do you think?
Miley Cyrus at Marc; Alyssa Coscarelli Street Style via Getty Images

Ellison: Ooooh, Alyssa in the City!

Nico: I like mullets on girls. I was going to get one when I went to get my hair cut recently, but I chickened out and got layers instead.

Jian: I think they look sexy on girls, but I don’t like them on guys.

Veils were a thing.
Rodarte via Vogue Runway

All: Yesssss!

Jian: I love that.

Bella: I love that.

Ellison: I’m with that.

Across-the-board “yes” on veils?

Bella: I was going to wear one today!

Ellison: [Conspiratorially] You should have!

Bella: I just couldn’t find one at home that you could see my makeup through.

12 PHOTOS
click for more

Photos by Olivia Wein. 

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Why Wasn’t NYFW Inspiring This Season?

I usually know that fashion is working if I leave a runway presentation inspired to take action—say something new, wear something new, try something new. It can feel like a mid-morning espresso shot: fleeting but thrilling and highly stimulating. By the end of fashion week, my brain is usually so high on these new ideas, so ready to try something different and enlivened by the language of clothes that when I walk into my closet, it’s as if the garments flock to my body and make the ensembles themselves. We are intimately reacquainted, skating in lockstep as if Madge and Edgar Syers. But yesterday, on the final morning of fashion week, after I cycled through six bad outfits in order to land on one I’ve worn 100 times before, nearly causing me to miss my first show, I was sure: Fashion Week in New York has lost its shine.

This is obviously an opinion of pure subjective proportion, but the barometer of fashion’s efficacy implies the invention of something new and yet day after day the staleness grows more tedious. Blame the sparse schedule, that offered enough time between shows to eat a civil meal but not enough to sink my teeth into anything else going on in my life, or get out of monkey brain mode for long enough to think a good thought.

This isn’t to say there weren’t distinct sparks of indelible spirit: Christopher John Rogers’ rejection of clothes that satisfy the complete range of female experience in the favor of zeroing in on Occasion Clothes, capital O, capital C.

The Row SS RTW 2020

At The Row, ski hoods and monochrome gloves accompanied the signature baggy suiting of the brand’s ongoing novel: How to Build a Trend-Proof Wardrobe (though I’ll note that their pursuit to avoid the trends has effectively become the trend, and that can generate a murky pool of misunderstanding among the brand’s most loyal followers).

For every zebra print that reminded me of the Saint Laurent of yore at Khaite, I was pleasantly challenged by an unlikely silhouette: the tapered trousers, the corresponding silk scarf-print blouse–the collection was a case study in the tension that occurs at the precipice of restraint; not quite pared back, nor balls to walls. If there are two kinds of designers out there, those who make looks and those who make clothes, the latter camp is better off and Catherine Holstein’s very good at it.

Khaite SS RTW 2020

I got to Michael Kors right on time in the outfit I’d worn 100 times before and just as Orville Peck took the stage in his gold fringe mask and suede fringe jacket to sing a song to add a beat to the clack-clacks of models in billowing plaid coats and rich wool capes and riding pants and boots, there it was, on the crest of this scene straight out of Town & Country: the mid-morning espresso shot. There’s a dependability about the luxurious, American sensibility of Michael Kors and this season, perhaps more concisely than in seasons past, he nailed it.

Michael Kors SS RTW 2020

Outfit ideas poured into my prefrontal cortex as I contemplated the hypothetical references to a horse farm on the English countryside or Richard Gere circa Fatal Attraction, inspecting produce at Soho’s departed Dean & Deluca supermarket and tried to figure out why.

Marc Jacobs SS RTW 2020

And after the crescendo of the season: Marc Jacobs, I think I got it. Guests of his show sat in groups of 3 or 4 at small wooden tables, rounded and innocuous, topped with paltry tea lights, in the middle of the Park Avenue Armory. I tried to make out whether models would come from here or there, so looked for Anna Wintour — the front-row compass. (They would come from Park Avenue.) Then it got really quiet and out came Karole Armitage, American dancer and choreographer, famously known as the “punk ballerina” of the 80s. In the show notes, Marc Jacobs wrote, “It is the style in which different people dress at the various stages, ages and times in their lives, for all manner of occasions and moments, that endlessly provokes my love of fashion and the possibilities of what can be.”

Marc Jacobs SS RTW 2020

Dozens of dancers appeared in Marc Jacobs, moving in grand gesture among the hordes of models who walked in woolen jackets that matched mini dresses and headkerchiefs; cardigans and pencil skirts; peter pan collars and shrunken sweaters, full-length trousers and kitten heels—but wait, it’s getting hotter! A lamé swing coat and knit underwear? Rosettes and elbow-length gloves? Trapeze gowns? Miley Cyrus? Miley Cyrus! And couture! The theatrics of it all! Later in the notes, Jacobs wrote, “Karole’s choreography brings the cultural influences of today into conversation with a past New York I will forever love, not for longing of time passed, but more moments that are timeless in reference.”

Marc Jacobs SS RTW 2020

I believe we’re in the early stages of an era that Hedi Slimane catapulted to fame with his breakout French Bourgeois collection for Celine in 2018. That is where he asserted that the preeminent trend would not be to reinterpret and make new what has come before but rather to recreate it, preserving precisely what it was. The clothes of Marc Jacobs—and Michael Kors that morning for that matter—count because they’re loyal, inspired by themselves and “timeless in reference” and in practice. You can picture them on all sorts of real people, doing all sorts of things.

I swear to you that after Marc’s show, every single guest left grinning ear to ear assured that the shine of New York still sparkles in the rarefied pockets of fashion, where it seems that those inspired by themselves motivate us to be the same.

Photos via Vogue Runway and Getty Images.

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How to Be Together Forever, According to Jerry and Raye, Married for 55 Years

Forever, as a concept, has always terrified me. I think it’s the finality of the word—that there’s no end, no second act. It’s especially intimidating in the realm of relationships, which are often only deemed “successful” if they never end. You move in with the presumption that you’ll never move out. You marry with the intention of never being on your own again. You get into bed with someone one night and wake up believing you’re through sleeping alone. For a control freak like me, that permanence is overwhelming.

But when I mentioned this anxiety to Raye and Jerry, who have been together for 55 years, they brushed it off like a piece of lint. Don’t focus on what could have been. Think of all that could be. After seeing each other through countless moves, career changes, childbirths, illnesses, and losses, they say their love isn’t made up of one continuous commitment, but many smaller, fragmented adventures. That’s the lesson that stuck with me the most following our conversation about their life together: That forever is a perpetually growing field of possibilities, one that continues to bloom no matter how many times you mow it over. And when you reframe it like that, all you’re left with is an adventure. Below, a little bit about theirs.

Iman: Before we get into the two of you as a couple, I’d love to hear a little about who you are as individuals.

Raye: Well, I come from a very large family. I was the first of 11 children.

Jerry: I was the youngest of seven. I grew up in the upper midwest, in a small town where my grandfather was the first African American settler. He was a deputy sheriff and a railroad worker. And in those days, that was unheard of in small-town Illinois. He was also a tough, hellfire-and-brimstone Baptist minister. My grandmother was a housekeeper for a very wealthy person in Chicago. So I had the best of both worlds—I’d spend the weekdays hiding in my little hometown, and the weekends in a dining car on my way to the city. They’d serve me waffles and hot chocolate because they knew that I was Dr. Moseley’s grandson.

Raye: My parents did not have time to spoil any of us. We were taught how to do things, and then we were allowed to make mistakes and learn how to correct them. We physically did not fight each other—when we got upset with one another, we’d go up to them and try to hug them real tight, and squeeze the breath out of them. But that was about the worst we could do.

Iman: How did you two cross paths?

Jerry: Oh, let me start with this one.

Raye: I will correct you if necessary!

Jerry: I would go up and spend the summers in Minneapolis as a teenager. I started dating a young lady, who was going to St Catherine’s for college. So, I decided I wanted to go to St. Thomas, right across the street. But her mother decided that I was from small-town Illinois and that I wasn’t worthy, so I swore off big-city women. My next-door neighbor was a big basketball star at Northeast Missouri State, and at the last minute, I asked if he could help get me in. He did, and I went. I walked onto campus, and the second or third day, I met this woman right here. And I said, “Hmph, can I have a date?” This was in 1965. And she said, “Well, sure. As long as it’s the library!” That kind of set the standard for our relationship.

Raye: We’ve been together ever since.

Jerry: I won’t further muddy the story, but we were on a fraternity boat ride in St. Louis in 1967, and she turned to me and said, “Someday, when we get married…”

Raye: I don’t remember that at all!

Jerry: She’s going to pretend she doesn’t remember, but the day after she said that, I went home to my parents and told them that I was going to bring her up to meet them. And my mother said, “No, no, no. You have to go down and ask for her father’s hand in marriage.”

Raye: You mean for my hand in marriage!

Jerry: Yes, that’s right. And I said, “Why? She pretty much asked me to marry her!” But that didn’t sit well with my very traditional family. So I went down there, and I said to her father, “I’d like to marry your daughter.” And he looked at me, and said, “Well, you know you’re taking my baby away…”

Raye: We got married on my graduation day.

Jerry: I went to summer school to catch up because she’s substantially older than me. By at least a year and a quarter!

Raye: I don’t look it though, that’s the good thing. That was 1968. Our relationship has matured a lot since then. It has become real. It has been tested. And when I say tested, I’m talking career changes, moves, having children—one with a health problem. Both of our careers were in education. I was in business, and he was in sociology and psychology, and eventually, administration. That was his first career, anyway.

Jerry: I’ve had three or four careers.

Raye: Once he went into business and industry, I decided that was it for me. The moves started coming in too fast and being a teacher, moving from state to state? You have to take all these tests. And I thought, “Well, forget that.” I enjoy being a mother—most of the time. (Sometimes, kids drive you crazy!) There was never any mountain we couldn’t overcome. There was never a reason not to do something.

Iman: Did you ever feel like there was a time when you wanted different things?

Raye: I’ll let you answer that one.

Jerry: Oh, really!

Raye: Yeah, I want to hear this one.

Jerry: Well, we had 13 tough corporate moves, at times when they were not conducive for us personally, but we had to learn to compromise, to adjust to change. We learned to rely on each other.

Raye: When I found out we were going to move that very first time, I said, “Hey! Are we going to have an adventure?” We both had to work to get it done, but it wasn’t a chore—it was something exciting. It was a way of getting out and seeing things and traveling and sharing new experiences.

Jerry: And she has always managed the family resources, budget, and taxes—for over 53 years. This is a cheap shot, and I admit it, but I think millennials who make the decision not to get married or make a commitment until they pay off their college debts is a cop-out. We both had college loans. And the fashionable thing to do now is to get a prenup, and to me, that sets a standard for how you’re going to trust and believe in each other.

Raye: The way I see it, a prenup is a plan for an unsuccessful marriage. If you don’t have a plan for failure, you don’t accept anything as a failure. There’s never a reason to quit. We may not always agree or like each other’s ideas, but we have always been in this together.

Jerry: You know, my original plan was to be a marriage counselor.

Iman: Wow. This article could write itself.

Jerry: I ultimately decided it wasn’t right for me, but the fundamentals stuck with me. My parents were, I would say, madly in love. They were married for 56 years before strokes hit them. I always believed marriage was a long-term deal, and it comes with its ups and downs. But when you pick someone, you pick them.

Iman: Can you give me an example of one of those low points?

Jerry: Raye was diagnosed with breast cancer, the scary kind, the day of our daughter’s graduation. She went through 10 months of terrible chemo. When you see someone that you love experiencing that, you go through it with them. And she had to do the same with me. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer years later. Moments like those change not only who you are, but what’s important to you.

Raye: When challenges present themselves, I toughen up. As a mother, I wanted to be strong, the silent glue that held my family together. I wanted to make everything better. But when I reach that point of needing my own someone to go to, I turn to him. That reliance isn’t, Oh, baby, you’ll be fine. It’s more like, Okay, let’s look at this. What can you do? What can I do? And how are we going to do this together? When one is up, one is down. It’s a see-saw that goes back and forth, but it always evens out.

 Jerry: But let me be clear: We have been very blessed. Our relationship was not a check-list. Remember, I told you our first date was at the library? I never had any problem with that. Our decisions didn’t feel like sacrifices: We enjoyed sharing new experiences. But there are compromises that we had to make. Perhaps the most traumatic for me is that I married the only black woman in the United States that can’t cook fried chicken…

Raye: He has to buy store-bought fried chicken, and I don’t care! I may not be Superwoman, but I’m good at a lot of things. And I relinquish that I cannot cook chicken. My sisters always tease me for it.

Iman: When was the last time one of you was right, and the other didn’t want to admit it?

Jerry: There you go. Now, there’s a question!

Raye: I’m going to answer this real fast. When I was younger, I would have never told him he was right. But as we got older, I realized that it wasn’t important who said it, but what was being said. I’m getting better at it! And you have to learn to say, “I’m sorry.”

Jerry: Let me tell you a story that’s a little saucy. There’s a part of her that’s always believed that she’s not really all that attractive.

Raye: I consider myself somewhat average-looking. I guess I just never took myself seriously because I was such a string bean growing up. That’s all I ever heard. You’re so skinny. You look like a broom handle.

Jerry: Well, you see that picture on the wall over there? That was her when she was getting ready to walk the runway at a fraternity fashion show. She was one of the sweethearts in 1966. Now, look at this second picture, right here. There she is again, walking the runway. You know when that was? Last year. My point is, I was in love with the woman in both photographs, and that woman was 19, and the other was 72. Age and stage is a mental set.

Iman: Is walking that runway the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Raye: Nope, I once popped a cigar in my mouth while sitting on a motorcycle.

Jerry: Crazy.

Raye: We were drinking margaritas with our pilot friend. But we’ve done a lot of other things. What about the snowmobile in Minnesota?

Jerry: Oh, right! We went to a black-tie event on a snowmobile, dressed in tuxedos. But honestly, I think the craziest thing we’ve ever done, 12 years after all of our health issues and against the doctor’s will, was getting pregnant with our second child. And then Raye fell that year while pregnant, not once, not twice, but three times.

Raye: Man, was it three times? Thank God our son is okay. We were a little concerned for a while, but he came through alright! Can you imagine?

Jerry: She broke her right arm and busted her left ankle.

Raye: I had two casts on, and I was pregnant. I couldn’t take a shower.

Jerry: I got to the hospital just as they were ready to take X-rays. And I stopped them and asked, “Did she tell you that she’s pregnant?” Because the radiation can be harmful for the baby. Oh my god, we told him just in time.

Raye: He’s our miracle baby. We love him so much.

Iman: And what would you say you love most about each other?

Raye: Jerry’s ambition to do things for the betterment of all people. Anything that’s going to improve someone’s life or help them to pursue their goals in life, Jerry sees the success in that. He has a desire to help, an unselfish willingness to help others be successful.

Jerry: Raye’s pretty sexy.

Raye: Thank you, dear!

Jerry: She’s right. We enjoy helping others.

Raye: The other thing that I don’t want to leave out is a sense of humor.

Jerry: BEEP!

Raye: And we hold each other accountable.

Jerry: And that comes right back to how we started this conversation. Our parents set very high expectations for us, her as the oldest, me as the youngest.

Raye: And in my family, it was not about living up to others’ expectations. It was about achieving what we were capable of. When I was coming up, there was still racism. When I was in high school, I wanted to get a job to pay for college because my parents could not afford to send me. So I dressed up perfect, called three or four places, and told them I was looking for a job and could I come in—and they said, “Yes!” So I went to downtown St. Louis, walked into each office, and they took one look at me and said, “We don’t have any job openings for you.” I got home feeling really upset and frustrated. My mom was washing dishes in the sink with her back to me. I told her what happened. You know what she said? “So, are there only three jobs out there?” And that was it.

Jerry: My expectations were more symbolic.

Raye: Now, my academics were never a problem. But then I started dating Jerry. I was taking this one particular class that had a lot of lab work involved, and it was not getting done.

Jerry: How are you going to blame that on me?!

Raye: So I called my mom up and I said, “Mom, I’m afraid I’m not going to get a very good grade in this class.” And she asked, “Are you doing your best?” I said, untruthfully, “Yes, I am.” And you know what she replied? “That’s all I can ask. If you pass, you pass.” That bothers me to this day. That defined my standard: Do your honest best. That’s the best advice.

Iman: And if you could give one piece of advice to a couple at the very beginning of their relationship, what would it be?

Jerry: Dwell on what you want to give to the relationship, not what you have to give up.

Photos by Natalie Piserchio.

The post How to Be Together Forever, According to Jerry and Raye, Married for 55 Years appeared first on Man Repeller.

Pete Davidson’s Got a New Look in His Netflix Special and I’m Ogling It With the Sound Off

As far as I’m concerned, “an evening with Pete Davidson” are the five most beautiful words in the English language. I can see why Netflix dedicated two of 77 seconds in the Pete Davidson: Alive in New York trailer to this title card. This trailer for Davidson’s impending comedy special dropped yesterday and it is not for the faint of heart—I’m not sure whether it’s been edited with the intention of sparking controversy, whether it’s a highlight reel of the best jokes the special has to offer, or whether all the good stuff awaits us on February 25th. What I’ll recommend for now is watching the video on repeat with the sound off. That is where you’ll find Davidson looking like a tall glass of Four Loko. It’s the dawn of a new day for Pete Davidson, one in which an unhemmed “Snake Love, Not War” t-shirt has been replaced by a crisp suit.

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544 of the Best Street Style Looks From New York Fashion Week

Farewell, New York Fashion Week! Hello, more outfit inspiration than I know what to do with! I mean that in the best possible way–because what I’m realizing is that, at its best, the output of fashion week is kind of overwhelming. To be overwhelmed by fashion is to be moved by it, and to be moved by it is to be inspired to act. Sometimes, as is the case with a heady runway show like Marc Jacobs, the logical action is to sit and marinate. With street style, though, it’s almost the opposite–to leap up from where you’ve been sitting and marinating and sprint to your closet, where you can begin making brand new outfits from clothes you already own.

Maybe that’s why street style—apart from the sheer eye candy—remains such a perpetual draw. It’s proof that a plain white T-shirt or a classic trench coat can, in fact, look different every time you put it on, by virtue of the fact that you’re not a mannequin. You’re a human being! And whatever you’re feeling and wherever you’re going is going to influence how your outfit manifests, regardless of how you style it. The appearance of an outfit is just as much a product of mood and movement as it is a product of accessorizing, or what’s tucked into where, or what the weather is like. Street style is overwhelming-in-a-good-way not only because of the sheer quantity of photographs that come out of fashion week, but also–and perhaps most importantly–because it perpetually undermines the idea that our wardrobes are finite entities.

This season, we’ve been curating our street style slideshows according to theme (ICYMI–winter coat inspiration, pants worth ogling, camel-colored clothing, non-stop “full looks,” and heroic rainy day accessories), but now that New York Fashion Week is officially wrapped like a salami sandwich, we’ve collected all the photos in one, big, juicy roundup. Dive in below, where there are plenty of new additions even if you’ve been keeping up, and let us know what look you’re particularly keen to recreate.

544 PHOTOS
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Photos by Karolina Kaczynska

The post 544 of the Best Street Style Looks From New York Fashion Week appeared first on Man Repeller.

Outfit Anatomy: What Team MR Wore to New York Fashion Week

Man Repeller’s Outfit Anatomy franchise endeavors to break down the practical and emotional minutiae of why we wear what we wear. To close out another rousing round of New York Fashion Week, we compiled (more!) miniature Outfit Anatomies featuring the editors who attended, with the goal of providing some insight into the particularities of getting dressed for a week of show-going.

I only had one morning of dressing-with-shows in mind this week, and I rode a wavelength you might detect again below: Instead of thinking, ‘What’s the most outrageous combination of things I could only get away with wearing during fashion week?’, I just wore the outfit that made me feel like I wasn’t trying to be anything but myself (which boiled down to: a navy dress from COS I adore because it’s made with this material that feels like liquified neoprene and has an exaggerated turtleneck, the sheerest tights in Heist’s repertoire, a trusty pair of round-toe rain boots that are trying to be old Céline, and a big, beige trench coat from Suistudio), and then I didn’t think about it again. Bliss.

Read on to hear about outfits turning into pumpkins at 3 p.m., dodging puddles on street corners in seasonally inappropriate shoes, and whether anyone would ever repeat these outfits!

Leandra, Founder

Here are my thoughts: I wore this outfit on Monday night; it was the second outfit I imposed on my body that day (the first one included a windbreaker, navy wool skinny trousers, and white patent leather boots). I wore it to speak on a panel at Milk Studios then attend the Proenza Schouler and Oscar de la Renta shows. I changed out of the initial outfit because I had a layover at home between the time it went bad (the 3 o’clock mark) and the time I’d have to be at Milk Studios. I already had this black turtleneck on (it’s by Splendid, I’ve had it for three years and wore it almost every day the winter that I was pregnant because it was the only non-maternity top I owned that didn’t fit me like a belly shirt) but added the navy sweater (Abie’s, I think we got it from J.Crew like five summers ago).

Then I thought the black and navy needed something to cut up THE DARKNESS, so I entered my closet looking for a collared white button-down shirt but landed on this mandarin version from the most recent release of Christine Centenera’s Wardrobe.nyc. At first, I put on black trousers and resolved I’d wear flat boots, thinking to myself: Fuck it, it’s raining, it’s cold, I’m not inspired to! get! dressed! so I’m just going to disappear into what’s comfortable, then I remembered I had a car with me for the evening which let me think a little less practically about my footwear options—cue the socks and sandals, a combination that has been burned into my iPhone notes all season. I bought the shoes (by Gucci) in 2016 following the runway show where I first saw them. (And this outfit, btw, was fully inspired by that show.) They are, to date, my most dependable high heels, but I digress!

By this point, I’m standing in my bedroom with tons of shirts on, and a pair of socks and heels on my feet, switching tenses mid-narrative, kids running in literal circles around my legs, asking me to take my shoes off and I have this navy silk Chloe skirt hanging from my closet door—it’s been there for two weeks. I borrowed it for a shoot, but didn’t end up shooting it, so I put it on, then thought that I didn’t look, I don’t know, personal enough, so I actually sat down and re-strung a beaded bracelet that I have from Carolina Bucci into a pattern of rainbows. And that was that. To be clear, I find the outfit pretty boring, if not tasteful and on trend to a degree. I probably wouldn’t wear it again even though it is the handiwork I’m most proud of from fashion week for the simple reason that it signified the difference between giving up (black trousers) and making an effort.

And in conclusion, Edith wanted me to answer what I thought my grandchildren would say when they found this photo at the bottom of a Downloads folder decades from now and if I had to guess, they’ll wonder if that’s Emily Ratajowski behind me.

Harling, Brand Director

My thought process for this outfit began with my desire to wear a lace top that is basically translucent and therefore provides zero insulation on—you guessed it!—a 35-degree day in February. It’s a recent acquisition from Chanel via The RealReal (thanks to Leandra who Slacked me a link in the middle of the day about a month ago and said, “you should get this”), and while I look forward to wearing it sans-jacket come spring and summer, that was not in the cards for this particular morning. I styled it with a warm wool jacket from Mango, plus black jeans from Eve that are super high-waisted which is the only kind of pairing I’m interested in when it comes to see-through tops (my belly button doesn’t need to make your acquaintance just yet). The result: just the right amount of sheer lace peeking through to give the shirt its due while still protecting myself from the elements.

Accessorizing in the winter—and I’m including shoes in this statement—is always tricky for me. Details tend to get lost in the sea of requisite layers. I gave it a shot, though—pulling my hair back into a ponytail, sticking some coily stud earrings from Completedworks in my ears, and clipping in a silk bow from Henriette von Gruenberg. The earrings might have disappeared a bit, but the juiciness of the oversized bow made up for it I think. As for shoes, my eclipsing priority above all else during fashion week is being able to walk–down cross-town blocks, up steep subway stairs, through throngs of street style photographers–and therefore I’ve given up on anything with a heel. These simple black boots from the R.M. Williams x Marc Newson collaboration have been my saving grace this winter.

I liked this outfit a whole lot, though I think the effect resonates more without the Topshop trench coat I acquiesced to putting over it. It felt like the right balance of special and practical without venturing into gimmicky territory, which is easy (for me) to wade into during fashion week. Now that I’m looking at it again, I’m inclined to hypothesize that of all the different components, the bow is doing the most heavy lifting. Small thing, big impact. Like a pinch of sea salt. I’m filing this away as a mental note next time I’m on the cusp of fully dressed but lacking in flavor.

Haley, Features Director

This was one of those rare outfits that didn’t require much thought. Not that it’s genius!!!! But you’d be surprised how often a very casual outfit of mine takes multiple outfit changes. It’s my [actually very public] shame. Anyway, this one didn’t! I knew I wanted to wear these Tibi x Clark shoes to celebrate their launch, so I built the rest of the look shoes-up. I picked the cropped trousers from AYR because they’d show off the shoes, and since they always inspire me to dress like an Instagram dude, I chose the short-sleeve button-down from Frankie Shop next, followed by the coat by Marfa Stance, because it was new and therefore I had to wear it per the law.

I’m not really a fashion week peacock—but only because it wouldn’t make sense with my style, which would make it very embarrassing—so this wasn’t outside the realm of a typical outfit for me, except that I probably wouldn’t wear it on a Saturday. This ended up being the only day I attended fashion week aside from one show on Tuesday, and I’m so glad it turned out that way, because it was perfect. I spent almost the entirety of it, from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. with Harling, and also had multiple run-ins with Elizabeth, Crystal, Leandra, and all the industry people I’ve gotten to know since I first attended fashion week and knew not a soul. Given my attendance of NYFW has been phasing out over the past couple seasons (I’m not really a fashion writer), I kept thinking this was probably the last time I’d be going to back-to-back shows like this. It made me a little nostalgic, but in a nice way.

A note on this outfit’s fatal flaw: This coat is not thick enough for the dead of winter, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me my Uniqlo puffer for our dinner plans later. It ruined my look, but it was expired by then anyway.

Elizabeth, Market Strategist

My favorite silhouette—if you didn’t know—is the bulky jacket/pantless look. It’s kind of like a palm tree silhouette. It’s easier to master in cold weather, but your legs must take one for the team. Here, I’m wearing hand-dyed tights by my friend Emily Dawn Long, my boyfriend’s white Hanes hoodie that is now mine, a trench-vest-turned dress from Pixie Market the brand gifted to me in the fall, a chunky sweater that doubles as a scarf/shield against the wind (for when I find myself on the west side near the freezing Hudson River), Kaleos Eyehunters sunglasses, and, the dumbest choice of the day, white sock shoes. In the rain.

I actually really like this outfit, which surprises me. Because usually my favorite outfits begin with a pair of my favorite shoes. It’s not that I don’t love these shoes, but they are certainly not statement shoes nor did I begin crafting the outfit with them. The outfit began with the tights, as I had a feeling I was seeing Emily (the designer) that day and I wanted to show her my support. (Also, I adore them.) Over said tights are a pair of knit shorts I used to wear over my tights when I was a ballerina. The trench dress was worn because of the rain—but that’s the only weather-appropriate item I’m wearing and, quite frankly, trenches aren’t even waterproof so… !?!?!? The shoes were admittedly idiotic. I’m surprised I didn’t ruin them while maneuvering around puddles and accidentally landing in a few. I love them so much and they’re very comfortable, but I had to change into a pair of Blundstones halfway through the day when it was really coming down.

I guess this would be my favorite outfit I wore all of fashion week because I really like the silhouette and it made me feel experimental. I’d certainly wear it again but maybe change bits and pieces, like: remove the cardigan from around my shoulders, wear the scarf in my ponytail as a bandana, add a belt…. It’s an easy outfit to replicate different ways.

Amalie, Social Media Manager

I knew when I woke up that I wanted to wear something that wasn’t super feminine. Lately, I’ve really been leaning into a more masc look, inspired both by my deep, deep love of Haley Nahman, but also because that’s what feels right on my body at the moment. I knew it was going to be rainy, so I wanted something that would hide the fact that I hadn’t washed my hair, and was also puritanical in terms of coverage.

The pants are vintage and from an Etsy denim resale shop I can’t remember! It was like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants level when I pulled them on. Never have a pair of jeans fit my fruity booty so well. The shoes are also vintage, from Malin Landaeus in Williamsburg. They’re from a brand called Free Lance, which is no longer in business but is always coveted in vintage circles. I paid a pretty penny for them, but I wear them constantly. The turtleneck is my friend Jamie’s from Paul Smith. He’s an assistant fashion director at Bloomingdales, so he has good stuff, and he always lets me borrow things when I crash at his place and I’m cold/underdressed and we want to dash out for food on the Lower East Side. My jean jacket is from Wardrobe.nyc. It’s one of the most beloved pieces I’ve ever owned. It is—and I say this with absolute certainty—the best denim jacket. The piece that is most meaningful to me though is the coat! It’s Prada, from United Apparel Liquidators in New Orleans, and I was with a group of new but very loved friends in New Orleans when I found it. The weekend had been sweet and fun, full of blissful conversation, energy, and food. We went into the store together, I tried on the coat, and my friends told me I had to get it. It was marked down 90% and is the best clothing purchase I’ve ever made. And to think I almost didn’t buy it!!

I tried the Canadian tuxedo look a few weeks ago with a pair of converse and a scarf. I felt cool in it. I tried it again with an oversized blazer and a checkered top with the jean jacket worn open a week later. I felt cool in it again. This was me iterating on a formula that really worked for me.

And I would wear this again! Probably not with this hat, probably shaken up to make the whole composition a little less “boy who negs girls at bars” and more “boy who likes to oil paint.” So maybe a chore coat, hair down, jacket worn open, lace cami underneath, Birkenstocks.

I think I have the issue that a lot of people who consider themselves “outsiders” within the industry do at fashion shows, which is that I feel like I don’t have the right look. My face, my clothes, my network all sometimes make me feel like I’m lacking something, when really I’m lacking absolutely nothing and it’s all a matter of perception. I was determined not to feel that lack today. I wore an outfit I knew would make me feel good no matter what. I was comfortable. I was happy. And I barely noticed anything other than the positive stuff around me.

10 PHOTOS
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Photos by Karolina Kaczynska

The post Outfit Anatomy: What Team MR Wore to New York Fashion Week appeared first on Man Repeller.

5 Valentine’s Day Alternatives for Those of Us Who Are Unhinged

Hello and welcome, it’s the most terrible time of the year!

If the romantic industrial complex and partnership normativity has you down in the dumps this Valentine’s Day season, then fret not, dear hearts. In lieu of going out to a dinner that is thick with unnecessary expectations as impressed upon you by completely arbitrary societal standards, I have hatched a list of sweet, sweet alternatives for you to celebrate the love you have for yourself. Or Beethoven. Or cheesecake. These can be done alone or with partners or in an orgy.

Let’s get cooking.

Mezcalentines Day

Hey, it’s “Mezcalentine’s Day”! This holiday requires that you, on your way home from work, grab a bottle of mid-range Mezcal from your local liquor store where the owner knows you’ll always bring up the weather at checkout and is consistently not interested. At least it’s not my IBS, Bob! You will then proceed to the market to grab one grapefruit, one lime, a bottle of agave nectar, and some soda water. You will make yourself a Paloma at home, and you will dip the rim of your glass in salt and secure it with a lime wedge because you’re full of life and we do it right on Mezcalentine’s Day. Put on your favorite Mexican film of choice, like the iconic Roma or Y Tu Mama Tambien and attempt to keep your pants on.

Banalentine’s day

“Banalentine’s Day” is–shockingly–every single day for me, but this right here is an occasion to really lean in! Start your morning with a completely unexceptional breakfast like scrambled eggs–no salt–and go to work with the intention of doing your routine tasks in the least creative way possible. Actually just disassociate until you return home. There, you can unwind with a Natural Light beer whilst watching The Big Bang Theory. At the stroke of midnight, take your top off.

Calentine’s Day

For those of us who aren’t Gyan Yankovich, “Calentine’s Day” is the day to get your iCal/Google Cal in order–I don’t discriminate on the tool! Unless you use Outlook…messy. Anyway, Grandma’s birthday? Drop it in. Friendly hangs you forgot about right after you made ‘em? Dig up those texts. Currently dating? Reserve time during the week for it so you don’t cancel every time it feels “too unplanned” (I see you!) End the night by burning the forgotten bundle of sage that’s been sitting in your nightstand for over two years in order to purge disorganized energy. Lights out at 9:30 p.m.

Pastoral-entine’s Day

This one is for the real freak-on-a-leash. For Pastoral-entine’s Day, come home from work and immediately put Beethoven’s “Pastoral Symphony” (No. 6) on the speakers. Then, fix up Beethoven’s favorite meal, which apparently was pollock with potatoes and a glass of Austrian wine. Honestly…it could be worse for early 19th century Vienna. After eating said meal, take a Tum and put on noise-canceling headphones and record your attempt to sing the tune of “Für Elise.” If you get more than 50% of the notes right, then congratulations! You’re basically Beethoven. Wrap up the evening with a viewing of the truly mediocre Immortal Beloved starring Gary Oldman and Isabella Rosselini, with permission to pass out from pollock-and-potato-induced fatigue around the halfway point.

Moralentine’s Day

When I tell you that I am, in fact, participating in this exact V-Day alternative, you had better believe it. If your morale, like my own lately, has suffered from the slings and arrows of life and love, here are a few ways to provide it with a booster seat:

1. Take 15 minutes to look at photos from high school to remind yourself how far you’ve come. Those two sets of braces don’t define you anymore! You’ve bloomed like a peony!

2. Take yourself out to dinner and bring a book you just started. Note: The book has to be funny. If you’re me, you’re at a French restaurant ordering coq au vin with a glass of Bordeaux and the book is Mostly Dead Things by Kristen Arnett. Dessert is non-optional, do not insult me.

3. Come home and watch/RE-watch Cheer.

4. Write a list in your journal–I’m not kidding here, you must–of things you admire about yourself in one column, then in another, a list of the ways you plan to act on those traits in the coming month, either for yourself or for others.

5. Set a mandatory late-night appointment with your vibrator.

Here’s hoping that one of the above provides a creative alternative to the usual Valentine’s Day–and dare I mention, Galentine’s Day–fare. If none of them strike your fancy, feel free to stick a square peg in a round hole with options like “Cheesecakentine’s Day,” in which you order and sample one slice of every cheesecake from the Factory (you know the factory of which I speak), or “Patrick Swayzentine’s Day,” in which you marathon every Patrick Swayze movie, saving Point Break for very last, and a have deadline to sign up for ceramics classes in your area by midnight.

Photos  by Alexis Jesup of Colors Collective. Prop Styling by Rose Kennedy.

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