Tre Miller Rodriguez's Blog, page 73

"I lost my father just about two years ago, and while it wasn’t necessarily unexpected, it was..."

“I lost my father just about two years ago, and while it wasn’t necessarily unexpected, it was incredibly hard for me. Before I found White Elephant in the Room, the only discussions of grief I found on the Internet and elsewhere felt like they were shaming my emotions and telling me how to ‘get over it.’ I really appreciate the honest way you document your ongoing process of mourning. Thanks for your grace and your honesty and your words…they’ve been more helpful than you’ll ever know.”

- —  Kirsten, California (heckascootie)

A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats

Last week, an Irish play about suicide debuted on the Lower East Side. Three NYC museum exhibits about death and grief are currently on display. This weekend, Bill Cunningham’s street style video was all about modern-day funeral attire. Is culture—or at least the culture in America’s biggest city—starting to hear what some of us have been unapologetically repeating? As in, mourning and loss should not be the white elephants in the room. They shouldn’t be relegated to society’s shadows and corners. These are inevitable human experiences that deserve America’s discussion, exploration and acknowledgment.

UPDATE: It appears that Gayson & I were included in the New...

UPDATE: It appears that Gayson & I were included in the New York Social Diary instead of the “What Not to Wear List.” Welp, there’s always next year.

Finding Our Funny

Last month, I interviewed filmmaker Richard Lovejoy about the losses that led to his screenplay, “The Widowers.” (We may have met in a bar and I might have referenced his impeccable outfit as proof that he couldn’t possibly be straight. Except, oops, he is.) Though not a widower himself, Richard encountered more loss before he was 21 than most of us—heels crossed—will face in a lifetime. And next Wednesday the 29th, a NYC screening of his comedy about grief will be hosted by The Producers Club and ModernLoss.com. I’ll be in the audience, Tumblrs are welcome and apparently there will be drinking. 

When: 7pm, Oct. 29, 2014

Where: The Producer’s Club, 358 W. 44th St., east of Ninth Avenue, NYC

How: $10 tickets here

Why: Because the loss club isn’t half as awkward as they say

"Started reading ‘Splitting the Difference’ yesterday and while I’m by no means a..."

“Started reading ‘Splitting the Difference’ yesterday and while I’m by no means a ‘sap,’ I started weeping on page two. Alberto’s ‘Sit with me?’ line just about destroyed me. That simple description evoked a more visceral emotional response than anything I’ve read in quite some time. I could say a lot more as I relate to your story very deeply, but for now, I just want to thank you for sharing such raw, achingly beautiful work.”

- — Tim, New York City

The universal symbol of Mercury in retrograde?...

The universal symbol of Mercury in retrograde? #WhenThingsDontWorkProperly #ItsThatTimeOfTheYear

The universal symbol of Mercury in retrograde?

The universal symbol of Mercury in retrograde? 

10/17: Unofficial Tumblr Caffeine Meet-Up

Coffee + books are the daytime equivalent of wine + art, so if you’re in the Flatiron area next Fri. 10/17, stop by Keurig’s pop-up shop. I’m there from 11am – 12pm with my publisher and fellow NYC authors. Free gourmet coffee, book giveaways, celebs you’ve never heard of…and obvi, if you already own a copy of “Splitting the Difference,” bring that thing along + I’ll inscribe it. 

Splitting the Difference: The TV Series

Discussing my memoir as a TV series with Eva Longoria last spring seemed like a thing that happens to other people…to other writers.

Even when the option from Universal TV came through, I quietly shared the news with immediate family because yeah, options don’t always turn into shows.

Only when ABC signed on for the pilot and attached the writer Kat Coiro did I begin to whisper the news with cautious optimism.

But today, the studio officially announced the deal and included the cover of my book with headshots of Eva and Kat. As of today, a thing I’ve hoped and prayed for—a dark comedy about me, Laurie, Alberto, and Hilda—is actually happening. 

What Does Good Grief Look Like?

Given the chance for a do-over, I would choose Alberto’s life over my published memoir and TV series now in development. I loathe that I found my voice only through losing him, and yet the idea of nothing positive coming from his loss would be far more dismal.

I didn’t immediately realize that the manuscript I started a few weeks after his death would become my grief therapy and gateway to a new career. I started writing because drunk-dialing the same 10 people ceased to be a comfort but I needed somewhere to go with my memories and regrets. In the five years since, I’ve discovered that grieving can be a freeing, creative act. Through writing, blogging and speaking about my grief, I am able to absorb my loss. Alberto’s life and death have become part of my own narrative, life and purpose.

On this journey, I’ve encountered people whose grief has motivated them, instead of destroyed them. Here are six of the many individuals who have given their grief profound expression and purpose. They’ve achieved goals — running for office, premiering a movie, starting a foundation — that are common to the bucket lists of many young Americans. And the common link between these people and us? Loss.

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