Tre Miller Rodriguez's Blog, page 77

"Just found your blog and memoir, and wanted to thank you for all that you write about. I have been..."

“Just found your blog and memoir, and wanted to thank you for all that you write about. I have been incessantly searching the word ‘grief’ on Tumblr to find some words of wisdom since someone I loved died in February.

Although I’ve dealt with sudden deaths of close family and friends, I had never coped before with terminal illness in someone with whom I am in love. His death has affected me more than any before him, which seems to bring along extra feelings of guilt.

Your writing is already helping me, and I’m so glad to see it’s helping countless others. Also, you’ve inspired me to start using Tumblr again.”

- — Linda, Australia (silentvictory)

Forty-five minutes into “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar &...

Forty-five minutes into “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill,” we forget that we are watching Audra McDonald. We are transfixed and transported to Philadelphia in 1959, listening to the ghost of Billie Holiday croon and confess and rage. #holyhellthisisincredible (at Circle in the Square Theatre)

Stories Below Lower Manhattan

A somber day spent with Dad deep underground at the 9/11 Memorial Museum, a place that felt more reflective than exploitative (excepting the Museum Store, which left us with all the icks).

We reached our emotional saturation point inside of three hours, and stumbled up to the plaza in search of the Survivors’ Tree. This callery pear (upper left tree) survived the towers’ collapse with little more than its trunk, but was nursed back to health for nine years in the Bronx. It now stands tall, scars and all, in the foreground of another symbol of resurrection: the Freedom Tower.

Times Square Selfie with Mom #ITookFiftyOfThese #SheWasMortified

Times Square Selfie with Mom #ITookFiftyOfThese #SheWasMortified

Times Square Selfie with Mom (NYC, Duh)

Times Square Selfie with Mom (NYC, Duh) 

Keeping up a lifelong tradition of father-daughter baseball...

Keeping up a lifelong tradition of father-daughter baseball outings

The Things We Do for Grief

Loss sucks, but it can also be transformed into supernatural fuel. Have you run your first marathon, published a book, created a foundation, run for office, started a business, etc. as a direct result of losing someone close to you? If you’re under 40, reply below or PM me by July 18 for inclusion in my next Modern Loss column. Feel free to share with Tumblrs or others who fit this profile.

here’s to good grief,
Tré

White Elephant on Wheels (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)

White Elephant on Wheels (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)

How to Cure a Cryover

“I thought you’d look worse” wasn’t the kindest thing I heard in the months after my 40-year-old husband died of a sudden heart attack, but it wasn’t the most cringe-worthy either. In that first year, I was neither able nor willing to control my tears, but I worked in a NYC office where it wasn’t feasible to hide my puffy eyes behind dark sunglasses.

I tried cucumbers, tea bags and cold spoons, but these remedies were no match for eyelids so swollen, they actually hurt. I experimented with a ton of product, and found three that allowed me to cry all night and erase the evidence the next morning.

If you’re grieving a death, break-up or scary diagnosis, these three secret weapons can let you experience the healthy benefits of catharsis — without insanely puffy eyes or mascara running down your face. I’ve shared them with every mourning woman I know, but I have no affiliation with these brands nor am I being compensated for including them here.  

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Sea Anemones in the Sky #latergramming (at Brooklyn Gold)

Sea Anemones in the Sky #latergramming (at Brooklyn Gold)