Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 214

I found out last night that HONY Stories debuted at #1 on the...

I found out last night that HONY Stories debuted at #1 on the New York Times Bestseller List! Thank you so much for your continued support. Thanks to all of you who continue to make Humans of New York a part of your day. Thanks for the millions you’ve given to the charities we’ve supported. Thanks for the kindness you’ve shown me. And most importantly– thanks for the compassion that you continue to show toward the subjects on the blog. I’m not sure how to adequately express my gratitude, but I do want to assure you that I don’t take your support for granted. I’m constantly asking myself how I can be doing a better job at this. I feel like HONY is getting better. I’ve certainly matured as a person over the past five years, and I hope the work has matured as well. Thanks for giving me the time, the acceptance, the resources, and occasionally the forgiveness to figure this all out. I hope we have many more years of sharing these stories. Because I truly love this work.

“I don’t think I’ll stay in the city much longer. Everything is...

“I don’t think I’ll stay in the city much longer. Everything is so expensive that it’s just too hard to get by. We came here because we felt that we’d exhausted all the opportunities in the town that we grew up in. We’d already built a reputation locally and played in all the bars. So we decided to move to New York so we could continue growing. I guess I imagined that there would be a sort of domino effect. People would hear about us, start coming to our shows, and things would really bloom from there. But it’s been a much slower process than I expected. It’s really hard to stand out in the city because there are thousands of bands here competing for attention. You learn pretty quickly that an RSVP on Facebook doesn’t mean the person is actually going to show up.”

“My dad left us at a very young age and my mom didn’t know...

“My dad left us at a very young age and my mom didn’t know English. We never had anyone to help us with our homework. My stepfather beat us every day. Sometimes he’d whip us with extension cords. When I was thirteen, I threw a brick at him and broke one of his ribs so I had to run away. I moved into a crack house where they let you sleep there if you helped sell drugs. I live in the shelter now. I’ve spent over twenty years of my life in prison. I want my son to have a different life than me, but I can’t even help him with his homework. I don’t know my times tables or anything.”

“I met John in India while studying in a Hindi language...

“I met John in India while studying in a Hindi language program. He did all sorts of exciting things. He was from San Francisco and worked for all these super lefty politicians. In his twenties, he pretended to be a teenager so he could go back to high school and write an article about it. He did philanthropic work in African rain forests. Life with him was like a long vacation. Every day was an adventure. He’d literally wake up every morning and say: ‘Today’s an adventure.’ We dated for nine years. But he didn’t want to get married. He didn’t want to have kids. And even though he wanted to save humanity on a macro scale, he just wasn’t that warm. I never felt like I could come home in a way. So eventually I ended it. I met my current husband online. He was ‘all in’ from the very beginning. He doesn’t live in a rainforest, but he feels like home. If my sister sends me a picture of my niece wearing huge sunglasses, he doesn’t roll his eyes. He laughs even harder than I do.”

“I met Mom when I was 14. I needed a new home so the agency set...

“I met Mom when I was 14. I needed a new home so the agency set up a meeting. I’d been in many foster homes at that point. The caseworker knew that I was very shy, so she encouraged me to speak up during the meeting. But I didn’t know what to say. I’d been abused so much at that point, the only thing I could think to ask was: ‘Are you good?’”

“I found myself in my forties and I’d never had children. And...

“I found myself in my forties and I’d never had children. And one night I was watching a show on television, and it was talking about how many older children are in foster care, and I decided it was something I should do. I work now as a counselor who advises families considering older adoptions. So many foster children get returned to the system when they hit their teenage years because the parents have unrealistic expectations. People expect foster children to be grateful and well behaved and respectful. But many of these children have been traumatized, abandoned, and hurt. They are going to push your buttons just like any other teenager, and they are going to force you to deal with your own issues. It requires a lot of patience to give them the time, support, and space to process their life.”

“I’m studying to be a rabbi. I’m a little worried that I’ll be...

“I’m studying to be a rabbi. I’m a little worried that I’ll be out of a job because less and less people seem to find religion meaningful. It’s getting to the point where it seems crazy or stupid for someone my age to believe in God. I see God most in my relationships with other people. Victor Hugo said that ‘to love another person is to see the face of God.’ I think our capacity to love is uniquely human and naturally connects us to something higher than ourselves. I even think that loving a baseball team can be a religious experience. I was here in 2012 when Santana pitched his no hitter. Everyone in this stadium was holding their breath at the exact same time. And when the game ended, everyone screamed with the same joy. We all felt so connected at that moment. And I think that was holy. That’s the feeling I want to create in my synagogue.”

“I’ve been so lucky to have two wonderful men in my life. My...

“I’ve been so lucky to have two wonderful men in my life. My first husband died when I was 55. For six months, I did nothing but work, come home, feed the cats, and go to sleep. It got to the point where I realized that I was either going to rejoin the living, or I was going to crawl in a hole and die. I mentioned to a friend that I was about ready to ‘get out there’ again, and she told me about a friend named Ted that she wanted me to meet. He was also a widower. I never thought I’d fall in love again. Certainly not that quickly. But Ted and I got along so well that two months later we were engaged. Ted has never felt threatened by my love for my first husband. On the ten-year anniversary of his death, Ted helped me organize a memorial. And that meant so much to me. But he doesn’t come to Mets’ games with me. He’s a Yankees fan.”

“I can take your immune system and transplant it into a mouse...

“I can take your immune system and transplant it into a mouse that I’ve genetically engineered to have no immune system of it’s own, so that I can model the genetics of your immune system and find immunoregulatory defects that will determine how you are going to respond to the cellular therapy needed to treat your disease.”

“I dropped out of college when I was nineteen, and now I’m going...

“I dropped out of college when I was nineteen, and now I’m going back at the age of thirty. I didn’t think I needed a degree for the longest time. I travelled a lot, and I’ve always been employed. But it’s just gotten too embarrassing to keep explaining why I don’t have a degree. It’s a deal breaker with most women at this age. They might spend the night with me, but they won’t call me in the morning. So I’m going back. But I’m much more focused now. I’m impatient. I’m the oldest one in my class, so I don’t even want to socialize. I have no interest in getting a beer with you after class. Unless you’re good at trigonometry.”