Calvero's Blog, page 212

Photo

Photo

my beached whale mother

I was 28and anxiousand failingand still livingat home.I was walking pastmy mother’s bedroom doorwhen...

Calvero, how did you become a sexy beast? I had no idea what life was about then suddenly I turned into a skinny video game nerd.

(Shrugs)

I came outta my mom’s vagina this way.

While doing jazz hands.

Try doing jazz...

I love watching small clumps of cat hair majestically float around my bedroom like the feather in...

I love watching small clumps of cat hair majestically float around my bedroom like the feather in...

"sometimes i miss you all the time"From my book of poetry,...

"sometimes i miss you all the time"

From my book of poetry, someday i’m going to marry Katy Perry.

Available HERE on Amazon.

“Will you share your life with meFor the next ten...

“Will you share your life with me
For the next ten minutes?
For the next ten minutes
We can handle that
We could watch the waves
We could watch the sky
Or just sit and wait
As the time ticks by
And if we make it till then
Can I ask you again
For another ten?

And if you in turn agree
To the next ten minutes
And the next ten minutes
Till the morning comes
Then just holding you
Might compel me to
Ask you for more
There are so many lives I want to share with you
I will never be complete until I do”

Scaring all 3 of your cats with one fart?20 points.

Scaring all 3 of your cats with one fart?

20 points.

Daughter.

Daughter.

taking a selfie before leaping out of a twentieth story window and then hoping the selfie uploads to the social networking website of your choosing before your body slam dunks itself into the ground

All of the painin my lifeis the direct resultof my constant inabilityto be only 5%strongerthan I...