D.A. Cairns's Blog, page 29
February 11, 2016
Celebrate the Small Things: A stone for my head
Despite my best intentions to avoid the almost irresistible lure of the bright lights of materialism, I do occasionally fall victim to its polished seduction. When I saw the Miracle Blade advertised in an infomercial, I was gone: compelled to call and place my order before the full spiel had been delivered.
It has proven to be a good buy: a very high performing knife of which I am proud, but lately a new concern has arisen courtesy of more advertising. This time it was a radio ad which I heard on the way to work, and this time, unlike the aforementioned purchase of a fancy cutting tool, the need came before the ad. That is, I already knew I had a problem and one which needed urgent attention, before this radio commercial grabbed me by the ears and confirmed my desperate need for a new pillow.
The situation, it turns out, is even more desperate and dire than I imagined. My health is in jeopardy if I do not find the exact right pillow for me, and purchase it quick sticks.
Once a item of luxury, fashioned from stone, to keep royal heads off the ground and help prevent the unwelcome invasion of bugs into facial orifices, the pillow is now an everyday item of necessity for most of us who live in the padded extravaganza of relative affluence.
I have never, at least as far back as my memory reaches, been entirely satisfied with my pillow. I have accepted mediocrity, and what a price I have paid for my indolence with regards this vital piece of slumbering equipment. Now that I know, thanks to the radio ad for a major department store which I heard and received as gospel, I will be diligent in the pursuit of the perfect pillow.
I am grateful that I have a selection of pillows at home, but the small and fluffy bedtime companion we all need, needs to be just right for me.Wish me luck in my search, and do share a little about your pillow. Are you satisfied?
Photo source:http://resveralife.com/resveralife-li...
It has proven to be a good buy: a very high performing knife of which I am proud, but lately a new concern has arisen courtesy of more advertising. This time it was a radio ad which I heard on the way to work, and this time, unlike the aforementioned purchase of a fancy cutting tool, the need came before the ad. That is, I already knew I had a problem and one which needed urgent attention, before this radio commercial grabbed me by the ears and confirmed my desperate need for a new pillow.
The situation, it turns out, is even more desperate and dire than I imagined. My health is in jeopardy if I do not find the exact right pillow for me, and purchase it quick sticks.
Once a item of luxury, fashioned from stone, to keep royal heads off the ground and help prevent the unwelcome invasion of bugs into facial orifices, the pillow is now an everyday item of necessity for most of us who live in the padded extravaganza of relative affluence.I have never, at least as far back as my memory reaches, been entirely satisfied with my pillow. I have accepted mediocrity, and what a price I have paid for my indolence with regards this vital piece of slumbering equipment. Now that I know, thanks to the radio ad for a major department store which I heard and received as gospel, I will be diligent in the pursuit of the perfect pillow.
I am grateful that I have a selection of pillows at home, but the small and fluffy bedtime companion we all need, needs to be just right for me.Wish me luck in my search, and do share a little about your pillow. Are you satisfied?
Photo source:http://resveralife.com/resveralife-li...
February 5, 2016
Celebrate the Small Things: A 21st Century Mystery
In the digital age where everything is computerized and all tasks may be accomplished online as long as you can remember your login details, it strikes me as very strange that a simple thing like activating an internet service, could be so hard.In the digital age of instant connection and immediate gratification how can a man be told that it will take 2-4 days to activate a phone line, and a further 4-10 days after that to connect the internet service?
iPrimus, an internet and telephony retailer, has been providing good service to us for over a year now except when it comes to relocating. We had a similar problem when we first moved to 2527, but I excused the delay because we were moving the huge distance of 20 kilometres. Our recent move, which resulted from a totally unexpected eviction notice, saw us transport all our worldly possessions to a new home three doors down from the old one. Yes, three doors: not even one hundred metres, and yet here we are, eight days in our new residence, without internet or any immediate prospect of it. We also don't have access to free to air television, but that's a different story.
February 4: I received a text message saying that a technician was required to connect the telephone and that one had been booked for the 18th of February. I called iPrimus, to say this was unacceptable and I was asked if I wanted to request an earlier appointment. I swallowed the large furry ball of sarcasm in my throat and said, 'Yes, please.' They're coming on Monday.I am thankful for hotspotting. Although I only have 5GB of data on my phone, it should suffice until we have our internet service activated, if I avoid downloading videos.
I'm really mystified by the delay in connecting us to the World Wide Web. It's as simple as pushing a few buttons, isn't it? Or am I hanging my naivete out on the line for all to see? This could only happen in Australia, right? The land of exorbitant charges, and pitiful excuses for poor service.
Photo sources:
http://oer.nios.ac.in/wiki/oer/ictapp...
http://www.yourarticlelibrary.com/int...
January 24, 2016
Memories of our Big Hearted Dog
Taz was a four month old Labrador cross Maltese pup when he joined our family in 2001. James and I built him a doghouse, but he wouldn't go in, much less stay in. He slept against the back door, as close as he could get to us during the night, and there were plenty of sleepless ones for me as we tried to settle him into his new home. Alana wouldn't go into the backyard without me when she was young because she was afraid of Taz' enthusiasm. It was one of his most endearing qualities.
He bounced and jumped a lot, and craved affection. You couldn't get him to stay still, and you couldn't make him angry. He never got angry until Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde (a Shitzu we named Gizmo who had the personality of a cat) joined the family some years later. Taz was all about love and affection and tolerance, even though Gizmo pushed him over the edge quite a few times.
He was not a smart dog, but he had a big heart. As old age and in particular arthritis, slowed him down, his increasingly frequent trips to the vet resulted in praise for the strength of his ticker. Sadly the rest of his body, his legs, ears, and eyes could not keep pace. His bouncy greetings became mere attempts at bouncing.
Taz had a hacksaw breathing pattern when he became excited which was so loud you could barely talk above the din. Sitting around wasn't really his thing, so he was always excited except when sleeping.
This evening he went to sleep for the last time. James, Alana and I were there at the vet to say goodbye, although I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just ruffled his fur one last time and walked out.
I haven't lived with Taz for some time now, and although I missed my furry friend, I knew he was there out the back of the house, happily living his canine life.Now I feel like another piece of me has just been broken off.
He bounced and jumped a lot, and craved affection. You couldn't get him to stay still, and you couldn't make him angry. He never got angry until Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde (a Shitzu we named Gizmo who had the personality of a cat) joined the family some years later. Taz was all about love and affection and tolerance, even though Gizmo pushed him over the edge quite a few times.
He was not a smart dog, but he had a big heart. As old age and in particular arthritis, slowed him down, his increasingly frequent trips to the vet resulted in praise for the strength of his ticker. Sadly the rest of his body, his legs, ears, and eyes could not keep pace. His bouncy greetings became mere attempts at bouncing.
Taz had a hacksaw breathing pattern when he became excited which was so loud you could barely talk above the din. Sitting around wasn't really his thing, so he was always excited except when sleeping.
This evening he went to sleep for the last time. James, Alana and I were there at the vet to say goodbye, although I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just ruffled his fur one last time and walked out.
I haven't lived with Taz for some time now, and although I missed my furry friend, I knew he was there out the back of the house, happily living his canine life.Now I feel like another piece of me has just been broken off.
January 22, 2016
Celebrate the small things: waking up
Every night when most people go to sleep, they expect to wake up the next morning. This pattern, and the use of X number of hours to rest and recharge our bodies, is something that most of us take for granted. The average person, getting an average amount of sleep, will spend roughly 25 years of their life, tucked in bed, basically unconscious.
Last night, I did not sleep well. I eventually crashed around 1am while watching an episode of Supernatural, but woke up several times through the course of the dark hours. Each time I fell asleep, I dreamed. I had three dreams, and all of them were bad. Nightmares. Allow me to briefly recount my disturbing nocturnal imaginings.
1. I was at a family function to celebrate the first birthday of the most recent addition. The child was hideous, but everyone cooed over it. I saw another child, a toddler, and recognized him as my son, who is now 20 years old. The child, my son, and I began to play funny face games with each other, but I knew he did not recognize me, so I had to run away as my tears began to fall.
2. I was in a field which had recently been harvested of its crops. I had purchased a roasted corn cob, and was eating it when I began to feel unwell. As I stumbled down the field toward the fence at the roadside, I noticed the adjacent field was scorched. I fell to the ground, and saw a number of half eaten corn cobs, and some other rotten vegetables. Picking up one of the half eaten cobs made me vomit continually.
3. I was taking my dad to a doctor's appointment at the hospital. On the way, I met a Thai lady whose name I could not remember although her face was familiar. She was beautiful and spoke sweetly to me. She disappeared, and my father and I got lost trying to find the doctor's room. We ended up outside, and as we continued to walk, he became breathless and weak. I helped him along the street, hoping to find the doctor, but he said he could not go on and he collapsed on the grass beside the road.
I believe these dreams are all significant. They speak to things going on in my life, and reflect my subconscious mind fretting and despairing even as I try to put on a brave face and soldier on in my waking hours. I know exactly what these dreams mean. I'm very glad I woke up.
The reality of my life is not as extreme as these dreams and for that I am thankful, but if my sleep life is to frequently feature such bad dreams, I would rather stay awake as long as I can.
When have you had a bad dream, and been really happy to wake up?
Photo sourcesphotobucket.comdrippic.comnormalbreathing.com
Last night, I did not sleep well. I eventually crashed around 1am while watching an episode of Supernatural, but woke up several times through the course of the dark hours. Each time I fell asleep, I dreamed. I had three dreams, and all of them were bad. Nightmares. Allow me to briefly recount my disturbing nocturnal imaginings.1. I was at a family function to celebrate the first birthday of the most recent addition. The child was hideous, but everyone cooed over it. I saw another child, a toddler, and recognized him as my son, who is now 20 years old. The child, my son, and I began to play funny face games with each other, but I knew he did not recognize me, so I had to run away as my tears began to fall.
2. I was in a field which had recently been harvested of its crops. I had purchased a roasted corn cob, and was eating it when I began to feel unwell. As I stumbled down the field toward the fence at the roadside, I noticed the adjacent field was scorched. I fell to the ground, and saw a number of half eaten corn cobs, and some other rotten vegetables. Picking up one of the half eaten cobs made me vomit continually.
3. I was taking my dad to a doctor's appointment at the hospital. On the way, I met a Thai lady whose name I could not remember although her face was familiar. She was beautiful and spoke sweetly to me. She disappeared, and my father and I got lost trying to find the doctor's room. We ended up outside, and as we continued to walk, he became breathless and weak. I helped him along the street, hoping to find the doctor, but he said he could not go on and he collapsed on the grass beside the road.
I believe these dreams are all significant. They speak to things going on in my life, and reflect my subconscious mind fretting and despairing even as I try to put on a brave face and soldier on in my waking hours. I know exactly what these dreams mean. I'm very glad I woke up.
The reality of my life is not as extreme as these dreams and for that I am thankful, but if my sleep life is to frequently feature such bad dreams, I would rather stay awake as long as I can.
When have you had a bad dream, and been really happy to wake up?
Photo sourcesphotobucket.comdrippic.comnormalbreathing.com
January 15, 2016
A few thoughts on submission guidelines
I have been writing and submitting short stories for many, many years. It is a time consuming process to find a suitable market, read their guidelines then conform to them. The requirements of editors are quite varied, and some of them are especially picky. Not that I am critical of that, but it can make the task of getting published more difficult. I've lost count of how many rejections I have received, how many times I've read the words 'thank you, but your story is not a good fit for us' (or something like that), and how many editors have simply never responded.My message to you as a writer is: do not be discouraged. If you love to write, then persevere, and if you have any talent, you will find some rewards; not to mention the satisfaction of pursuing your dream or your hobby, or whatever it is that writing is to you.
Many of my stories which have been published were rejected multiple times. Despite all the submission guidelines hoopla, all you are looking for is an editor who likes your work. It's that simple really. It was the same deal when I completed my second novel, Loathe Your Neighbor, and was looking for a publisher. I wrote 66 query letters, and received nothing but rejections and no responses, until Jeanne Haskin at Artema Press, said yes. Why? Because she liked my work.
As I said, if you are any good at this art form, then for sure there will be people who appreciate what you do. The truth is that you actually don't even have to be that good. You can be pretty good, work hard and get lucky too. Everyone needs a bit of luck to be successful.Getting back to short story submissions, here's my advice:be patient.be persistent. pay attention to the guidelines. don't send a story until you are satisfied that it is the best it can be .don't take rejection personally. take every little bit of advice offered and mull it over.read a lot and read widely. practice, practice, practice. be focused. decide what your writing goals are, and these goals will determine your actions.submit to Square Pegs E-zine
Photo source for 'I love Writing this much"http://www.thedutchphdcoach.com/writi...
January 14, 2016
Celebrate the Small Things
Square Pegs has always had two goals: to express myself on any matter I feel so inclined, and to advertise myself and my work. Unabashedly, I say to all that I want more readers. More readers of my blog, and more readers of my works of fiction; both my short stories and my novels. It is very difficult to break through all the competition. I have been attempting for many years to escape the deep, dark forest of anonymity. I've tried numerous methods to increase my exposure, to raise my profile, to become famous.
When a video of ducks crossing a road receives millions of views on You Tube, it causes me both despair and envy. When a poorly written book of unoriginal and unimaginative content sells millions of copies, I feel genuine happiness for the author, but it is tinged once more with despair and envy. Just being honest here.
However, despair and
envy can be strong motivators, and for me they are. My determination swells like a tsunami, so today I am celebrating one more mustard seed: the advent of Square Pegs E-Zine. The latest and potentially greatest in a long line of grabs for fame. A little e-zine which may produce enormous success.
There are fifty quintillion online short story magazines, so what hope has another of becoming successful? Square Pegs E-Zine is different. Firstly, potential contributors have to join/follow my blog. Secondly, payment for publication is a PDF copy of one of my novels, and finally, submission guidelines are available in a short video. (Ironically, Duotrope refused to list Square Pegs E-zine if it only had video submissions guidelines, so I had to put them in text as well.)
Let's see how this latest attempt to reach the glorious heights of fame and fortune goes. Wish me luck!
When a video of ducks crossing a road receives millions of views on You Tube, it causes me both despair and envy. When a poorly written book of unoriginal and unimaginative content sells millions of copies, I feel genuine happiness for the author, but it is tinged once more with despair and envy. Just being honest here.
However, despair and envy can be strong motivators, and for me they are. My determination swells like a tsunami, so today I am celebrating one more mustard seed: the advent of Square Pegs E-Zine. The latest and potentially greatest in a long line of grabs for fame. A little e-zine which may produce enormous success.
There are fifty quintillion online short story magazines, so what hope has another of becoming successful? Square Pegs E-Zine is different. Firstly, potential contributors have to join/follow my blog. Secondly, payment for publication is a PDF copy of one of my novels, and finally, submission guidelines are available in a short video. (Ironically, Duotrope refused to list Square Pegs E-zine if it only had video submissions guidelines, so I had to put them in text as well.)
Let's see how this latest attempt to reach the glorious heights of fame and fortune goes. Wish me luck!
January 8, 2016
Celebrate the Small Things: Capricorn Moon
Alas, I must return to work on Monday after a three week break, and so it is with some disappointment that I report on the non cooperation of the weather with my holiday plans.
We went to Auckland for New Year's Eve, and spent a couple of days there sightseeing...in the rain. Yes, it rained the whole time. On our return home we found the weather had followed us, so we had three more days without the sun. Keep in mind, it is summer Down Under and yours truly likes to hit the beach daily during his Christmas/New Year vacation.
On Friday the sun came out, so I headed for the beach, but it was closed due to dangerous conditions. Sure the sun was shining and a light breeze was blowing. It would have been perfect except for the fact the lifeguards had put up the no swimming sign. Undeterred...okay I was slightly deterred, I traveled further south to another beach. Imagine my joy when, upon arrival I found the same beach closed sign.
I stood and pondered the awful cruelties of life, and while I was feeling sorry for myself, the lifeguards zoomed out across the beach in their little sand buggy, and erected those beautiful red and yellow flags which declare to all that the surf is ready to receive swimmers. On my way in to the crisp rolling waves, I thanked the lifeguard for opening the beach just for me.
2016 looms large as a potentially great year for my career according to the Chinese horoscope, or so my partner assures me. Across the Margin published my short story Capricorn Moon on January 6, so I'm off to a good start. Lovesick is resting, waiting for the first round of revisions, and I have commenced my next project which is a supernatural thriller. As for going back to work on Monday...I can hardly wait. I love my job!
May 2016 be an outstandingly successful one for you, both personally and professionally. Do you have any particular goals or plans?
We went to Auckland for New Year's Eve, and spent a couple of days there sightseeing...in the rain. Yes, it rained the whole time. On our return home we found the weather had followed us, so we had three more days without the sun. Keep in mind, it is summer Down Under and yours truly likes to hit the beach daily during his Christmas/New Year vacation.
On Friday the sun came out, so I headed for the beach, but it was closed due to dangerous conditions. Sure the sun was shining and a light breeze was blowing. It would have been perfect except for the fact the lifeguards had put up the no swimming sign. Undeterred...okay I was slightly deterred, I traveled further south to another beach. Imagine my joy when, upon arrival I found the same beach closed sign.I stood and pondered the awful cruelties of life, and while I was feeling sorry for myself, the lifeguards zoomed out across the beach in their little sand buggy, and erected those beautiful red and yellow flags which declare to all that the surf is ready to receive swimmers. On my way in to the crisp rolling waves, I thanked the lifeguard for opening the beach just for me.
2016 looms large as a potentially great year for my career according to the Chinese horoscope, or so my partner assures me. Across the Margin published my short story Capricorn Moon on January 6, so I'm off to a good start. Lovesick is resting, waiting for the first round of revisions, and I have commenced my next project which is a supernatural thriller. As for going back to work on Monday...I can hardly wait. I love my job!
May 2016 be an outstandingly successful one for you, both personally and professionally. Do you have any particular goals or plans?
December 19, 2015
Celebrate the Small Things: Reception please
I once sat with my hand on it to ensure it worked. On another occasion I put sticky tape on it, and that worked temporarily. Sometimes, I simply endured it the way it was:annoyingly sporadic and frustrating. I considered buying some equipment to permanently fix it, but I baulked because it didn't quite make sense to me that a particular piece of technology would do the trick. I just didn't want to spend money on a possible solution.
I love cricket, and last Thursday, Big Bash 5 started. Covered live on Channel 10, the first match of the tournament featured my team, Sydney Thunder. I donned my lime green cap and settled on a beanbag in front of the television with a Cowboy on the rocks buzzing with anticipation.
In the beginning the reception was okay with only the odd interruption here and there. I hoped it wouldn't get worse, but it did. I became desperate. I had to be able to watch the game. Had to. I tried the sticky tape trick again, and also considered sitting with my hand on the cable. However, the first time I did that I was watching a thirty minute soap opera. A T20 cricket match lasts for three hours.
Then a great thing happened. I found another cable hidden in a drawer which when connected, once and for all solved the reception problem. Game on baby!
Victory was mine. I rejoiced, and to add icing to my cake, the Thunder won the match and in doing so recorded their first ever win over their opposition: Sydney Sixes.
Today I celebrate a little thing called an antenna cable. When you have you had a technical problem with a television which very nearly destroyed your life?
I love cricket, and last Thursday, Big Bash 5 started. Covered live on Channel 10, the first match of the tournament featured my team, Sydney Thunder. I donned my lime green cap and settled on a beanbag in front of the television with a Cowboy on the rocks buzzing with anticipation.
In the beginning the reception was okay with only the odd interruption here and there. I hoped it wouldn't get worse, but it did. I became desperate. I had to be able to watch the game. Had to. I tried the sticky tape trick again, and also considered sitting with my hand on the cable. However, the first time I did that I was watching a thirty minute soap opera. A T20 cricket match lasts for three hours.
Then a great thing happened. I found another cable hidden in a drawer which when connected, once and for all solved the reception problem. Game on baby!
Victory was mine. I rejoiced, and to add icing to my cake, the Thunder won the match and in doing so recorded their first ever win over their opposition: Sydney Sixes.
Today I celebrate a little thing called an antenna cable. When you have you had a technical problem with a television which very nearly destroyed your life?
December 11, 2015
Celebrate the Small Things: Soft Close
I'm a little late with this post, but I had a wee drama with my computer. When I say a wee drama, I actually mean a world destroying catastrophe: my world that is, not the whole world.
I upgraded to Windows 10 and discovered to my horror that all my files had apparently been wiped. I checked the hard drive and I had 610GB free space out of my 683GB available space, and my files were nowhere to be fund. After following online help instructions I discovered a folder called windows.old and inside that, was directed to one called Users. This was where my files were supposed to be, Alas, there was nothing, nothing but empty folders. In shock, I packed up my laptop and raced off to the local computer repair shop.
Unfortunately, it was closed: open only Monday to Friday. I then sped to the next closest store which, to my dismay now housed an employment agency. On to the next suburb where I imagined there might be a computer a store. No such luck. Then I remembered a locally famous shop which frequently advertises on the radio and has a very well known, and annoyingly catchy jingle.
As I entered, I received a cordial greeting and an offer of assistance to which I replied "Please tell me it's not the end of the world."
15 minutes later and without having to part with so much as a brass razoo, my files had been found: all of them. My relief was indescribable. My gratitude such that I had offered the guy a free copy of my book, but he was a fantasy or tech manual kind of guy, so he graciously declined.
Speaking of relief: today I am celebrating soft close drawers, cupboards and toilet seats. What a great innovation! We've only lived in our current home since August, and I've never had a home with all these silencing wonders before, so I am still thrilling at this very clever invention. Soft close? Yes!!
Have you ever had, what appeared to be a computer disaster, and then had it quickly and cheaply fixed? Or a computer crisis which was an expensive and extremely troublesome one? Do you love soft close seats and drawers?
I upgraded to Windows 10 and discovered to my horror that all my files had apparently been wiped. I checked the hard drive and I had 610GB free space out of my 683GB available space, and my files were nowhere to be fund. After following online help instructions I discovered a folder called windows.old and inside that, was directed to one called Users. This was where my files were supposed to be, Alas, there was nothing, nothing but empty folders. In shock, I packed up my laptop and raced off to the local computer repair shop.Unfortunately, it was closed: open only Monday to Friday. I then sped to the next closest store which, to my dismay now housed an employment agency. On to the next suburb where I imagined there might be a computer a store. No such luck. Then I remembered a locally famous shop which frequently advertises on the radio and has a very well known, and annoyingly catchy jingle.
As I entered, I received a cordial greeting and an offer of assistance to which I replied "Please tell me it's not the end of the world."
15 minutes later and without having to part with so much as a brass razoo, my files had been found: all of them. My relief was indescribable. My gratitude such that I had offered the guy a free copy of my book, but he was a fantasy or tech manual kind of guy, so he graciously declined.
Speaking of relief: today I am celebrating soft close drawers, cupboards and toilet seats. What a great innovation! We've only lived in our current home since August, and I've never had a home with all these silencing wonders before, so I am still thrilling at this very clever invention. Soft close? Yes!!Have you ever had, what appeared to be a computer disaster, and then had it quickly and cheaply fixed? Or a computer crisis which was an expensive and extremely troublesome one? Do you love soft close seats and drawers?
December 4, 2015
Celebrate the small things: Fairy Tales
If I had to choose a favourite movie genre, I would say romantic comedy. There's just something wonderful about the warm and fuzzy feelings generated by a well made blend of comedy and romance. The first stirrings of love, often looking more like irritation than attraction, and often as a result of chance or happy circumstances, blossom until the inevitable complication interrupts our journey to the much longed for happy ending.The popularity of romcoms is due to the desire we all have for love. The need to love and be loved, is a basic and powerful driver in our lives.
In class yesterday we watched While You Were Sleeping which is a classic of the genre, in my view. I love it. My students loved it too and commented that it was nice to watch a film which made them feel so good. Although I had to explain "warm and fuzzy" to them, they understood the dream: our love affair with fairy tales.
Love is a small word to describe a force which really does make the world go around. Fairy Tales are cute little stories which mean so much to so many people. Today I'm celebrating them, and their significant and universal impact on society.
Did you have a warm and fuzzy moment this week?
