D.A. Cairns's Blog, page 27
April 14, 2016
Men #atozchallenge
"I, like every other woman I know, have feigned girlish excitement over bare chested men with oiled and rippling muscles- especially firemen. I’ve glanced lower and wondered about the size of their penises, but it’s never serious. I don’t think penises are very attractive. Actually they are quite ugly and at times frightening. I liked Angus’ penis because it was his and he shared it with me. Only me, or so I thought anyway. I loved how it stiffened at my touch, and glowed as I masturbated him…"
Lovesick chapter 38
The fascination many women seem to have with shirtless fireman amuses me greatly. I’ve seen the calendars filled with male models, semi clad in firefighter’s uniforms with their gym engineered six packs. I’ve heard the giggling and the saucy comments. Cowboys are apparently popular as well, although I think this is more for other men since Brokeback Mountain.
Most women probably think it’s equally amusing to see men reacting to female models, or just female bodies. I’ve often thought that men enjoy the visual appeal of women, more than the other way around, but I don’t know. It’s true that men are more visual, or more easily stimulated by what they see when it comes to sexuality, generally speaking, and it’s also probably true that many, if not most men, don’t stop at mere appreciation of beauty. They have connected thoughts. Do women do the same?
If you have ever uttered the phrase ‘he can put his slippers under my bed’, did you mean it? Were you really saying that you would sleep with a man just because he’s good looking? I hear men say things like that about women all the time, albeit more crudely.
I’m just curious about the distance between our words and our thoughts, and between our thoughts and our actions. Perhaps you could shed some light on the topic.
Lovesick chapter 38
The fascination many women seem to have with shirtless fireman amuses me greatly. I’ve seen the calendars filled with male models, semi clad in firefighter’s uniforms with their gym engineered six packs. I’ve heard the giggling and the saucy comments. Cowboys are apparently popular as well, although I think this is more for other men since Brokeback Mountain. Most women probably think it’s equally amusing to see men reacting to female models, or just female bodies. I’ve often thought that men enjoy the visual appeal of women, more than the other way around, but I don’t know. It’s true that men are more visual, or more easily stimulated by what they see when it comes to sexuality, generally speaking, and it’s also probably true that many, if not most men, don’t stop at mere appreciation of beauty. They have connected thoughts. Do women do the same?
If you have ever uttered the phrase ‘he can put his slippers under my bed’, did you mean it? Were you really saying that you would sleep with a man just because he’s good looking? I hear men say things like that about women all the time, albeit more crudely.
I’m just curious about the distance between our words and our thoughts, and between our thoughts and our actions. Perhaps you could shed some light on the topic.
April 13, 2016
Lustance #atozchallenge
"‘My point is,’ continued Tyson. ‘You are a fool because you keep chasing the buzz of lustance.’‘Lustance is not a word.’‘It is now. Lust and romance.’Angus smiled. ‘Lust and romance together? Aren’t they sort of incompatible?’‘Generally, but in cases like yours, they are more like two sides of the same coin. You confuse the two effortlessly, subconsciously. You want the fairy floss buzz of Eros and the intensity of Venus.’‘Yeah,’ said Angus without further comment. Tyson was right so all he could do was agree. Through all his relationships with women from the first stirrings during puberty, through all the high school years where everything was new, and experimentation was normal and thrilling. The first kiss. The first tongue kiss. Holding a girl’s hand. Feeling her breast. Putting a hand inside her knickers. These arousing reminiscences brought a smile to his face which Tyson noticed with some displeasure.‘I’ve stirred your imagination now, haven’t I?’‘Why is it so strong? Why does it dominate? Why does it rule us?’‘Because we allow it to,’ said Tyson. ‘We surrender to it.’"Lovesick chapter 11
Enough said I reckon, but let me ask you this: Have you ever confused lust and romance? No? I find that hard to believe, but maybe I’m the only person in the world who has ever permitted his genitals to make important decisions.
Are ladies afflicted with lustance as well?
Enough said I reckon, but let me ask you this: Have you ever confused lust and romance? No? I find that hard to believe, but maybe I’m the only person in the world who has ever permitted his genitals to make important decisions.
Are ladies afflicted with lustance as well?
Kids #atozchallenge
"‘Çan we home now mum?’ says Bailey suddenly.A quick affirmative nod does the trick, and furnishes me with the opportunity to escape mum’s silent scrutiny. ‘Yes,’ I say with something resembling enthusiasm. ‘Let’s get going. School tomorrow.’ I stand. Sam apparently misses the message. He’s licking sauce from his fingers while reaching for another chip with his free hand. ‘Come on. Let’s go. Get your stuff.’‘We don’t have any stuff mum.’‘Right,’ I say, wondering why they don’t have their bags with them. ‘That’s easy then.’I shepherd my neglected children towards the front door, but they soon gain their own momentum, and forge ahead".
Lovesick chapter 38
As much pain and devastation as separation and divorce causes for the two involved, it is their children who are the real victims.
My parents first separated when I was 12, then they split again when I was 17 and that was the end of the marriage. The house was sold, and I went to live with my dad, while my sister went to live with mum. I got on with the business of life, but it took many years for me to get over it. Even today, the repercussions of the divorce are still felt keenly in our family. Mum and dad have never quite figured out how to get along, even though they have now been divorced for longer than they were married.
The impact is now felt by their grandchildren. I accept the reality of the situation, even though for a long time, I imagined, I dreamed and hoped that my parents would reconcile. My children and my sister’s children know no different. They were born, like so many other children, into a fractured family.
Sadly, I did the same thing to my children when I left my wife. The cycle goes on as we are try to find peace and happiness in the midst of pain and brokenness.
Are you divorced? How’s it going? Have you managed to move on?
Lovesick chapter 38
As much pain and devastation as separation and divorce causes for the two involved, it is their children who are the real victims.My parents first separated when I was 12, then they split again when I was 17 and that was the end of the marriage. The house was sold, and I went to live with my dad, while my sister went to live with mum. I got on with the business of life, but it took many years for me to get over it. Even today, the repercussions of the divorce are still felt keenly in our family. Mum and dad have never quite figured out how to get along, even though they have now been divorced for longer than they were married.
The impact is now felt by their grandchildren. I accept the reality of the situation, even though for a long time, I imagined, I dreamed and hoped that my parents would reconcile. My children and my sister’s children know no different. They were born, like so many other children, into a fractured family.
Sadly, I did the same thing to my children when I left my wife. The cycle goes on as we are try to find peace and happiness in the midst of pain and brokenness.
Are you divorced? How’s it going? Have you managed to move on?
April 12, 2016
Joy #atozchallenge
“Weddings were for girls, the stuff of dreams and fairy tales. He just wanted to marry Cassy, so the details of the wedding did not concern him. If she was happy, he would be happy, and the planning stages brought her an unbridled joy which would only be matched by the occasion itself. Even the cost was not his concern as Cassy’s parents insisted on paying for everything. Their eldest daughter was getting married and they wanted it to be fantastic. They wanted to give Cassy whatever she desired and damn the expense which was fine with Angus.The venue was Holy Trinity Garrison Church in Millers Point. Designed by Henry Ginn, and built in 1840 by Edward Flood, Garrison Church held its first wedding ceremony in 1843.
Cassy looked like a goddess in a silk wedding gown…”
Lovesick chapter 21
No two life events epitomize hope and pure joy more than a wedding and the birth of a healthy child. Most people dream of the moment they marry the love of their life and the enormity of making a lifelong commitment usually takes a backseat to the absolute thrill of the occasion, and the prospect of the wonderful adventure which lays ahead.
The wedding itself is a moment which seems to take forever to arrive, then passes too quickly. The promise of decades of joyful togetherness shines brighter than the sun. At my wedding, I was so happy, I forgot to enjoy myself, and although I remember the event only as a blurry instant, I have never forgotten the joy.
To those of you are approaching this momentous occasion, I wish you health and happiness, and to those who are married, I hope that joy still characterizes your union as it did on that brilliant day when you said, ‘I do.’
Share your wonderful wedding stories.
Cassy looked like a goddess in a silk wedding gown…”
Lovesick chapter 21
No two life events epitomize hope and pure joy more than a wedding and the birth of a healthy child. Most people dream of the moment they marry the love of their life and the enormity of making a lifelong commitment usually takes a backseat to the absolute thrill of the occasion, and the prospect of the wonderful adventure which lays ahead.The wedding itself is a moment which seems to take forever to arrive, then passes too quickly. The promise of decades of joyful togetherness shines brighter than the sun. At my wedding, I was so happy, I forgot to enjoy myself, and although I remember the event only as a blurry instant, I have never forgotten the joy.
To those of you are approaching this momentous occasion, I wish you health and happiness, and to those who are married, I hope that joy still characterizes your union as it did on that brilliant day when you said, ‘I do.’
Share your wonderful wedding stories.
April 11, 2016
Idolatry #atozchallenge
"I decide to cut to the chase. ‘I’ve been thinking about marriage, and what went wrong with mine and how I contributed to it, and about your marriage. You and dad.’ I don’t know whether she missed the bit about what I may have done to wreck my marriage, or if she heard it and agrees, or does not want to disagree. For a moment, I’m disappointed she hasn’t rushed to defend me, but I know she’s too honest for that. She’s probably been thinking for some time that I need to take responsibility for whatever role I played in the tragedy. Mum’s very honest, but also non-confrontational. If you push her she’ll give it to you straight, but she won’t offer it. It is now time to push.
‘Did dad ever cheat on you?’
‘No.’
That’s what I’ve always believed, so I’m not surprised to hear her state it so simply and emphatically.
‘Did you ever suspect he was?’
Mum’s pause shouts a thousand words.
I hold my breath."
Lovesickchapter 48
Everybody puts certain people in their lives on pedestals. We all have heroes and idols, and for many of us who have, and have pretty much always had good relationships with our parents, either or both of them may be the object of our worship. Later when we fall in love with Mr or Miss Right, they have to measure up to the lofty standards our parents set for us, and if they do, then they take that sacred seat.
We have sporting heroes, movie and pop star heroes, and other people we know and admire: those who inspire us to become better people. It is a very natural thing for us to worship others. We are created for such devotion.
Problems arise however when the people we look up to, let us down. Those who sit so high in our esteem, are always at risk of falling, and they have a long way to fall. If we build our lives on the foundations of the infallibility of our idols, we set ourselves up for great disappointment.
There is a very good reason why the first commandment forbids the worship of other people or things, besides God.
Have you ever lost faith in someone you idolised?
‘Did dad ever cheat on you?’
‘No.’
That’s what I’ve always believed, so I’m not surprised to hear her state it so simply and emphatically.
‘Did you ever suspect he was?’
Mum’s pause shouts a thousand words.
I hold my breath."
Lovesickchapter 48
Everybody puts certain people in their lives on pedestals. We all have heroes and idols, and for many of us who have, and have pretty much always had good relationships with our parents, either or both of them may be the object of our worship. Later when we fall in love with Mr or Miss Right, they have to measure up to the lofty standards our parents set for us, and if they do, then they take that sacred seat.We have sporting heroes, movie and pop star heroes, and other people we know and admire: those who inspire us to become better people. It is a very natural thing for us to worship others. We are created for such devotion.
Problems arise however when the people we look up to, let us down. Those who sit so high in our esteem, are always at risk of falling, and they have a long way to fall. If we build our lives on the foundations of the infallibility of our idols, we set ourselves up for great disappointment.
There is a very good reason why the first commandment forbids the worship of other people or things, besides God.
Have you ever lost faith in someone you idolised?
April 9, 2016
Haunting #atozchallenge
“Walking to the kitchen, I see Angus lurking in the darkness, floating, hovering like a ghost. I feel cold. I open the fridge and stare into the bright light without seeing anything. I’m not hungry. My appetite has been AWOL since Angus left. I eat occasionally, albeit absently and in mouthfuls rather than meals. Every now and then I become ravenous and eat greedily, but it makes me feel sick and I have often had to vomit up the meal soon after consuming it. I know I’m shedding weight rapidly, but I am afraid to jump on the scales to measure my decline. I don’t need hard evidence.
Angus is a wraith who will haunt me to my grave.”
Lovesickchapter 32
Forgiveness can be difficult, but it is possible. It happens. People let go and free themselves of the burden of bitterness. On the other hand, forgetting is virtually impossible. Certain memories of people, places and events do not fade with time, no matter how much we wish they would. Sometimes, we are haunted because we cannot, perhaps do not want to, let go. On other occasions we may be victims of those who do not wish to let us go.
The word haunt is also used to refer to a lingering regret which follows us through life. I wish I had have done this or that. I wish I had not done that. If only…
In most cases we cannot change what we have done: the past inscribed in stone, bears witness to history and its offspring. We have to find some way to make peace with ourselves about the wrong things we have done, and the bad choices we have made. For some people this is easy; for others perhaps not so. The latter may be doomed to a stained, spoiled future.
Let go, my friends. Let go, and your ghosts will vanish into the ethereal mist from which they emerged.
Have you ever been haunted? Are you haunted? I’d love to hear about it.
Angus is a wraith who will haunt me to my grave.”
Lovesickchapter 32
Forgiveness can be difficult, but it is possible. It happens. People let go and free themselves of the burden of bitterness. On the other hand, forgetting is virtually impossible. Certain memories of people, places and events do not fade with time, no matter how much we wish they would. Sometimes, we are haunted because we cannot, perhaps do not want to, let go. On other occasions we may be victims of those who do not wish to let us go.The word haunt is also used to refer to a lingering regret which follows us through life. I wish I had have done this or that. I wish I had not done that. If only…
In most cases we cannot change what we have done: the past inscribed in stone, bears witness to history and its offspring. We have to find some way to make peace with ourselves about the wrong things we have done, and the bad choices we have made. For some people this is easy; for others perhaps not so. The latter may be doomed to a stained, spoiled future.
Let go, my friends. Let go, and your ghosts will vanish into the ethereal mist from which they emerged.
Have you ever been haunted? Are you haunted? I’d love to hear about it.
April 8, 2016
Gnawing #atozchallenge
"Angus pulled into the driveway of his home with the usual trepidation gnawing at his stomach. He could never pinpoint the exact cause of his apprehension. Was it due to anxiety over what mood Cassy may be in? Or what family disaster he, as the resident white knight, may be forced to ride in and deal with? Or was his nervousness caused by worrying about whether Cassy may have used her intuition to discern his unfaithfulness. He was not even remotely confident of being able to effectively refute any accusations she may throw at him. He shook his head to clear the fog of discomfiting thoughts, then climbed out of the car and made slowly for the front door.
‘Hi daddy,’ said a little creature which attached itself to Angus’ leg as soon as he opened the door.
‘Hello Sam.’"
Lovesickchapter 9
Anxiety can accurately be described as a gnawing feeling. This persistent, biting and chewing of apprehension is a step up from butterflies, and is often caused by a form of paranoia. Whether grounded in reality or not, a fearfulness with regards to coming events can cause the stomach to churn and the head to pound. At its worst anxiety can be debilitating. At best it is uncomfortable and disconcerting: a joy stealer.
Jesus asked his disciples a rhetorical question: “Who of you by worrying can add a single day to his life?” Positive thinking gurus like Eckhart Tolle, tell us that worrying is caused by not living in the moment. Live in the present and you will have no anxiety about the future. In 1988, Bobby McFerrin told us all: “Don’t worry, be happy,” and Guy Sebastian did it again in 2011 with his hit song. Easy to say, hard to do.
There are some things we can do to ameliorate anxiety, or in some cases avoid it altogether. In Lovesick, part of Angus’ discomfiture and consequent reticence about returning home after work was caused by his own misbehaviour.
If your anxiety stems from guilt, cease your wrongdoing and confess it. If you are worrying about things because you fear the unknown, embrace your fear as natural to some extent, but don’t let it stop you from doing things. Learn to recognize when your fear is a rational warning of danger, and when it is simply a fear of not being in control. You can’t control everything in your life. You are not the master of your own destiny. Change your thinking and change your behaviour. Get professional help if you need it, or talk to friends and family. Share your burdens and they will grow lighter. The gnawing in your stomach will end.
And if all else fails…don’t worry, be happy!
‘Hi daddy,’ said a little creature which attached itself to Angus’ leg as soon as he opened the door.
‘Hello Sam.’"
Lovesickchapter 9
Anxiety can accurately be described as a gnawing feeling. This persistent, biting and chewing of apprehension is a step up from butterflies, and is often caused by a form of paranoia. Whether grounded in reality or not, a fearfulness with regards to coming events can cause the stomach to churn and the head to pound. At its worst anxiety can be debilitating. At best it is uncomfortable and disconcerting: a joy stealer.
Jesus asked his disciples a rhetorical question: “Who of you by worrying can add a single day to his life?” Positive thinking gurus like Eckhart Tolle, tell us that worrying is caused by not living in the moment. Live in the present and you will have no anxiety about the future. In 1988, Bobby McFerrin told us all: “Don’t worry, be happy,” and Guy Sebastian did it again in 2011 with his hit song. Easy to say, hard to do.There are some things we can do to ameliorate anxiety, or in some cases avoid it altogether. In Lovesick, part of Angus’ discomfiture and consequent reticence about returning home after work was caused by his own misbehaviour.
If your anxiety stems from guilt, cease your wrongdoing and confess it. If you are worrying about things because you fear the unknown, embrace your fear as natural to some extent, but don’t let it stop you from doing things. Learn to recognize when your fear is a rational warning of danger, and when it is simply a fear of not being in control. You can’t control everything in your life. You are not the master of your own destiny. Change your thinking and change your behaviour. Get professional help if you need it, or talk to friends and family. Share your burdens and they will grow lighter. The gnawing in your stomach will end.
And if all else fails…don’t worry, be happy!
April 7, 2016
Flirting #atozchallenge
"‘Hi,’ she said, extending her hand across the table. ‘I’m Cassy.’ His hand was soft, but his grip embodied self-confidence and respect. Caution and curiousity creased his face.
‘Grant,’ he said, slowly releasing her hand. ‘Nice to meet you.’
‘I bet this happens to you all the time, right?’
‘Only once a week or so, and usually on Tuesdays.’
Grant finally released his mobile phone from his left hand, and laid it on the table. As an afterthought, he flipped it over, face down.
‘I hope I’m not disturbing you.’
‘Oh,’ said Grant, nodding and smirking. ‘You are definitely disturbing me, but I think I’ll cope.’
Cassy could not believe what was happening? The more she thought about it they more frightened she felt. She was like Peter, who having left the boat and walked on the water at Jesus’ behest, suddenly thought about the water, looked down and began to sink. A rising sense of panic began to strangle her, and it must have shown.
‘I’m joking,’ said Grant. ‘You are not bothering me at all. Really. Relax. Happy for the company of a beautiful woman.’"
Lovesickchapter 39
Continuing with the theme of moral ambiguity and lines being drawn in various places, flirting is a topic which always causes debate. When do courteous and pleasant words become more than politeness? Playful banter? Double entendre loaded badinage? Lecherous, criminal conversations. You might think it’s obvious when you are being flirted with, or when you are deliberating flirting as opposed to mere friendly conversation – good for you, if you can distinguish the two – but it is often not that simple.
One smooth talking charmer might be perceived as a sweet mouthed sleaze, or vice-verca. I suppose it depends on intent. Why engage in flirtatious conversations? It’s fun and harmless, isn’t it? So why not? Why not indeed?
I can’t answer the question for you, but I already have for myself, and that’s all that matters.
‘Grant,’ he said, slowly releasing her hand. ‘Nice to meet you.’
‘I bet this happens to you all the time, right?’
‘Only once a week or so, and usually on Tuesdays.’
Grant finally released his mobile phone from his left hand, and laid it on the table. As an afterthought, he flipped it over, face down.
‘I hope I’m not disturbing you.’
‘Oh,’ said Grant, nodding and smirking. ‘You are definitely disturbing me, but I think I’ll cope.’
Cassy could not believe what was happening? The more she thought about it they more frightened she felt. She was like Peter, who having left the boat and walked on the water at Jesus’ behest, suddenly thought about the water, looked down and began to sink. A rising sense of panic began to strangle her, and it must have shown.
‘I’m joking,’ said Grant. ‘You are not bothering me at all. Really. Relax. Happy for the company of a beautiful woman.’"
Lovesickchapter 39
Continuing with the theme of moral ambiguity and lines being drawn in various places, flirting is a topic which always causes debate. When do courteous and pleasant words become more than politeness? Playful banter? Double entendre loaded badinage? Lecherous, criminal conversations. You might think it’s obvious when you are being flirted with, or when you are deliberating flirting as opposed to mere friendly conversation – good for you, if you can distinguish the two – but it is often not that simple. One smooth talking charmer might be perceived as a sweet mouthed sleaze, or vice-verca. I suppose it depends on intent. Why engage in flirtatious conversations? It’s fun and harmless, isn’t it? So why not? Why not indeed?
I can’t answer the question for you, but I already have for myself, and that’s all that matters.
April 6, 2016
Eros #atozchallenge
"‘Kiss me again,’ she whispers, and I willingly oblige.
This time there is no hesitation, uncertainty has evaporated in the heat of our passion. I open my mouth slightly, and she responds in kind. It is the most exhilarating kiss I can remember, and I want it to last for ever. Our bodies gravitate closer, magnetized by mutual desire. Chao-xing’s leg swings across my lap, and she sits astride me, pressing herself against me, grinding her hips. The kissing is frantic now, and I am ready to explode. Forgetting where we are, we grab and paw at each other, searching desperately to satisfy our lust.
Suddenly it stops, and Chao-xing throws herself off me, springing like a startled cat.
‘Oh my God!’ she gushes. ‘What are we doing?’"
Lovesickchapter 8
In Greek mythology, Eros is the god of love, or the god of sexual attraction and desire. Which is it? Eros is a kind of love, but there is more to love than sexual attraction and desire. From Eros we derive the word erotic which is an adjective meaning ‘relating to and tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement.’ How does that differ from pornography? I’ll talk about that when I get to P, but suffice to say the line between the two is very, very fine, and is drawn in different places.
The world is obsessed with sex. It is the most beautiful of God’s gifts to humanity, and commensurately, the one most abused and perverted. Eros dominates many relationships, and this is one reason why there are so many people getting hurt.
In Lovesick, Angus infatuation with sexual satisfaction, his worship of Eros, destroyed both his life and his wife’s. If Eros is your god, you are in deep doo doo, whether you know it or not. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.
When does erotica become pornography? Or are the same thing?
This time there is no hesitation, uncertainty has evaporated in the heat of our passion. I open my mouth slightly, and she responds in kind. It is the most exhilarating kiss I can remember, and I want it to last for ever. Our bodies gravitate closer, magnetized by mutual desire. Chao-xing’s leg swings across my lap, and she sits astride me, pressing herself against me, grinding her hips. The kissing is frantic now, and I am ready to explode. Forgetting where we are, we grab and paw at each other, searching desperately to satisfy our lust.
Suddenly it stops, and Chao-xing throws herself off me, springing like a startled cat.
‘Oh my God!’ she gushes. ‘What are we doing?’"
Lovesickchapter 8
In Greek mythology, Eros is the god of love, or the god of sexual attraction and desire. Which is it? Eros is a kind of love, but there is more to love than sexual attraction and desire. From Eros we derive the word erotic which is an adjective meaning ‘relating to and tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement.’ How does that differ from pornography? I’ll talk about that when I get to P, but suffice to say the line between the two is very, very fine, and is drawn in different places.The world is obsessed with sex. It is the most beautiful of God’s gifts to humanity, and commensurately, the one most abused and perverted. Eros dominates many relationships, and this is one reason why there are so many people getting hurt.
In Lovesick, Angus infatuation with sexual satisfaction, his worship of Eros, destroyed both his life and his wife’s. If Eros is your god, you are in deep doo doo, whether you know it or not. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.
When does erotica become pornography? Or are the same thing?
April 4, 2016
Divorce #atozchallenge
‘I want a divorce.’
I should have considered this possibility but I was too busy being irrationally hopeful. With no reason to think positively, I decided Angus must have had good news for me. God knows how I need good news, some sunshine: just a glimpse through the ever present brooding clouds. I haven’t done anything wrong and yet I am being punished unpityingly, endlessly. I stare at the nearly empty bottle of Grey Goose on the table in front of me. Beyond it, my children play in the yard: recklessly innocent.
‘Cassy? Are you there?’
- Lovesick chapter 42
I have heard of clean, easy divorces. I know a lady who split with her husband after he decided to upgrade. They were in business together, so with him wanting to move on, and her not wanting to try to hold on to a man who obviously didn’t want her, she took a pragmatic approach: treating the break up as just another business transaction. She asked for some customers to set up her own business, which he gave her. He also continued to send her money each month, either to assuage his guilt, or because…I can’t think of why else he would. To this day, she remains on good terms with her ex.
My feeling is that this kind of amicable divorce is the exception rather than the rule. I am divorced, and I can tell you there was nothing remotely agreeable about it. Still isn’t, now two years later.
Marriages fail for many reasons, and it really is a damn shame that so many people get hurt, but we are all broken people, and we are good at hurting each other.
How long have you been married? Is it the first, second or third even? How's it going?
I should have considered this possibility but I was too busy being irrationally hopeful. With no reason to think positively, I decided Angus must have had good news for me. God knows how I need good news, some sunshine: just a glimpse through the ever present brooding clouds. I haven’t done anything wrong and yet I am being punished unpityingly, endlessly. I stare at the nearly empty bottle of Grey Goose on the table in front of me. Beyond it, my children play in the yard: recklessly innocent.
‘Cassy? Are you there?’
- Lovesick chapter 42
I have heard of clean, easy divorces. I know a lady who split with her husband after he decided to upgrade. They were in business together, so with him wanting to move on, and her not wanting to try to hold on to a man who obviously didn’t want her, she took a pragmatic approach: treating the break up as just another business transaction. She asked for some customers to set up her own business, which he gave her. He also continued to send her money each month, either to assuage his guilt, or because…I can’t think of why else he would. To this day, she remains on good terms with her ex.My feeling is that this kind of amicable divorce is the exception rather than the rule. I am divorced, and I can tell you there was nothing remotely agreeable about it. Still isn’t, now two years later.
Marriages fail for many reasons, and it really is a damn shame that so many people get hurt, but we are all broken people, and we are good at hurting each other.
How long have you been married? Is it the first, second or third even? How's it going?
