Nicole Field's Blog, page 12
December 13, 2016
Relationship anarchy could be about so much more than the freedom to fuck.
“I need to tell you something” the guy I just took to my tiny hotel room tells me as we lie down on the bed “I am a relationship anarchist”. This is of little importance to me. We just hooked up in a bar (an anarchist bar so this is also no surprise to me). I am on vacation and moving out in 3 days. Why should I care about how he conducts his relationships? But he seems to think this requires further clarification. “That means I have sex with multiple people and I do not label those contacts as relationships. I see people when I want to see them.” Again, this is of little importance to me.
But his words linger. Is that what relation anarchy is? Polyamory combined with non-commitment? I really hope not. That kind of individual freedom, the freedom to not form lasting relationships, the freedom to always follow your own desires, the commitmentless fucking around, sounds more like relationship capitalism to me. Yet this guy wasn’t the first ‘relationship anarchist’ I’ve met who defined relationship anarchism as ‘I do whatever I want’.
I guess why relationship anarchy rarely appeals to me is because its practioners often seems too obsessed with nonmonogamy.
Anarchism, to me, is very much about commitment. About building communities. Communities that reject the ‘rules’ of capitalism, of ownership, of jobs, of productive and unproductive members, of competition. Communities that instead choose care, cooperation, equality, acknowledgement that our differences make our strengths, and each to contribute according to their his ability and to receive according to their need. And in that community, we make the rules that suit us, and end them when they no longer suit our community.
Relationship anarchism then, to me, means community. A community of two or of many. A community that rejects the ‘rules’ of relationships, of enforced heterosexuality, enforced monogamy, of partners being entitled to sex, of marriage, of childcare being a two-person job and of the idea that we need a romantic or sexual relationship to be complete. A community that instead choses care, cooperation, equality, acknowledgement that we are more than our relationship and that we all have different needs.
And in that community, we make the rules that suit us, and end them when they no longer suit our community.
By that definition, an anarchist relationship is first and foremost one of cooperation and setting our own rules. By that definition, it is not self-serving but always mutually beneficial. By that definition, it can be a monogamous relationship if that’s what makes the people involved feel happiest. By that definition, it can be about friendship, about romance, about sex, about a selection of those things, but by definition it will be about care. And intuitively, I’d say an anarchist relationship is a mutual support system against the brutal, oppressive capitalist world around us. The world is an extremely fucked up opressive place that seeks to divide us but we have chosen to support each other, to create a safe space within the rooms that we share when we share them, to help each other through tough days and tough years, to remind each other that we’re in this together.
This
automatically-polyamorous
commitment-free ‘I do whatever I want’ version of relationship anarchism feels nothing like that.
This so perfectly encapsulates both my fears and hopes for relationship anarchy.
December 12, 2016
I have read so many fantastic book #1 starts of brand new...
I have read so many fantastic book #1 starts of brand new series’ this year that I honestly can’t wait for next year to arrive so I can see how these series’ continue as soon as possible!
This list is here for recommendations, but also as an aide to my memory:
This Savage Song, Monsters of Verity #1 by V. E. Schwab
Whiteout, Seasons of Love #1 by Elyse Springer
And I Darken, The Conquerer’s Saga #1 by Kiersten White
The Cobbler’s Soleless Son, Pandemonium #1 by Meredith Katz.
Blank Spaces, Toronto Connections #1 by Cass Lennox
Every Heart A Doorway, Wayward Children #1 by Seanan McGuire
December 11, 2016
lessthanthreepress:
HAVE
YOU PICKED UP YOUR COPY OF THE SHOCK...
HAVE
YOU PICKED UP YOUR COPY OF THE SHOCK OF SURVIVAL BY NICOLE FIELD?The Shock of Survival by Nicole Field is an urban fantasy, bisexual, lesbian, and poly
romance from LT3 Press.In the wake of the final battle against The Oppressor, Benedict, Ophelia
and Dylan face their magical community in triumph. But that triumph rapidly
loses its shine as they realise the war is not so easily left behind. Returning
to, and relearning, the lives they had before proves to be more difficult than
even they had anticipated.
December 5, 2016
would it be weird to ask about the thesis of the Harry Potter Vs Series Of Unfortunate Events Narratives Of Abuse paper???
not at all!
i dunno if i could boil it down to a thesis right now, but it goes something like, oh, cw abuse by parents:
harry potter and the baudelaires are both orphaned and sent to live in abusive homes. (the orphan thing isn’t worth examining closely - getting rid of the “real” parents to substitute “fake” parents whose abusive behavior makes more sense to the audience is a really old storytelling tactic. think “coraline”, evil stepmothers in fairy tales, etc. of course has nothing to do with actual real-life adoptive parents and step-parents, but.)
what interests me most, i think, is what happens when the children ask for help.
because the baudelaires ask for help immediately! they go to the only other caretakers they have, mr. poe and justice strauss; these adults tell them “i don’t believe you, and even if i did believe you, there’s nothing i could do to help you.” almost every book of asoue revolves around the baudelaires not being believed about something very important.
harry potter, on the other hand, is believed. more than believed– he doesn’t have to tell the adults in his life that the dursleys are abusive, because they already know. they know he’s physically prevented from accessing his education. they know they’ve put him in a cupboard under the stairs– they address an envelope to the fucking cupboard. they know.
they just choose to leave him there.
and then, after years and years, we finally discover: harry has to live with the dursleys. they hurt him, and they don’t love him, and they abuse him, but without them– well, who knows? the dark wizards might find him. voldemort might have tried to come after him, those eleven years harry never knew he was a wizard. harry has to stay in an abusive home, because he can’t handle the world outside.
which is a shitty narrative. it just is. it’s very similar to a lie that abusers use to keep victims close to them. not only is no one going to get you out of here, but if they did, you’d crash and burn.
the baudelaires, meanwhile, immediately set to work learning everything they can to help themselves. and the book makes it clear– very clear– that they shouldn’t have to! that this isn’t their job! that mr. poe should be getting them out of this house, justice strauss should be getting them out of this house, the fucking police should be getting them out of this house
but they aren’t, because sometimes adults fail you. and you shouldn’t have to survive this– but y’know what? it turns out that you can.
anyway. i love harry potter more than i love asoue, because that is just the way my childhood shook out. and there’s a whole aspect here that i didn’t talk about even a little, namely: hagrid, sirius black, the weasley boys in the flying car, the various people who physically removed harry from the dursley house and got him somewhere safe– even if they always returned him in the end.
but lemony snicket and jk rowling told very different stories about abused children, and snicket, i think, ultimately gets how to do it in a way rowling doesn’t.
December 2, 2016
The significance of plot without conflict
In the West, plot is commonly thought to revolve around conflict: a confrontation between two or more elements, in which one ultimately dominates the other. The standard three- and five-act plot structures–which permeate Western media–have conflict written into their very foundations. A “problem” appears near the end of the first act; and, in the second act, the conflict generated by this problem takes center stage. Conflict is used to create reader involvement even by many post-modern writers, whose work otherwise defies traditional structure.
The necessity of conflict is preached as a kind of dogma by contemporary writers’ workshops and Internet “guides” to writing. A plot without conflict is considered dull; some even go so far as to call it impossible. This has influenced not only fiction, but writing in general–arguably even philosophy. Yet, is there any truth to this belief? Does plot necessarily hinge on conflict? No. Such claims are a product of the West’s insularity. For countless centuries, Chinese and Japanese writers have used a plot structure that does not have conflict “built in”, so to speak. Rather, it relies on exposition and contrast to generate interest. This structure is known as kishōtenketsu.
December 1, 2016
December update - A year in review
I’ve been eyeing off the December update because, not only is it a monthly update, it’s also a yearly one. And, until lately, I’d told myself that I hadn’t really gotten very much done this year, not overly. The part time day job just to keep the money coming in is part of that.
But then I wrote the following as part of an email to a friend the other day:
“That said… I have four print books coming out next year… O.o One of them is only a short story in an anthology, that’ll be at the start of the year. I am over the moon and *busy*. Did I mention busy?”
It’s fantastic, though. I’m going to spend a lot of time in front of my computer and around very understanding friends and family members.
Just as a reminder, in January this year, issue #1 of the I Hope You Like Feminist Rants zine became available, with my essay “On Your Bookshelf: Bisexuality and Polyamory” included.
June saw the release of my fantasy novel, Ascent. I was interviewed as part of two part series on asexuality in June as well.
July was my short story Prima Facie.
November was (and still is if I’m being honest, the reviews keep coming in and some of them are gorgeous!) my novella The Shock of Survival.
I have absolutely loved this year, the things I have had the opportunity to be a part of, the people I have gotten to meet and, god, the books I’ve gotten to read. Goodreads tells me I’ve read over 170 books this year on top of everything else. That’s terrifying.
But the year’s not over yet. I’ve just submitted The Shock of Survival as an entrant to the Aurealis Awards.
I’ve sent in a novella for Viva La Novella, and hope to send in a second submission there before the end of the year.
In the next couple of days, I hope to have a polished enough draft to be happy to submit it for consideration to the Brave Boy World trans anthology.
I have a couple of New Year’s resolutions in mind, but that’ll have to wait for another post.
November 19, 2016
Last night’s annual @melbnano Night of Manuscripting Madly, a...
Last night’s annual @melbnano Night of Manuscripting Madly, a photo post.
November 18, 2016
November Update – From the year I abstained from sex and...
November Update – From the year I abstained from sex and examined gender to find what I was comfortable with, separate to what society tells me I should be comfortable with. A memoir.
In April, I had my first haircut that I was really and truly happy with for years.
It was also one of the first moves I really made this year in acknowledging and settling into gender and sexuality identities that I was comfortable with. This year has been mad for me figuring out who I am and being given the time to comfortably do that at my own pace and I’m just so fucking content.
A couple of nights ago, I was having a conversation with friends about pixie cuts, which started a thought in my brain about, well, honestly, who better than me to rock a pixie cut? And why hadn’t I done this before?
Honestly? Fear. Even after the last haircut, this would be the shortest I’ve ever had my hair and I had no idea whether I had the head or face shape to pull it off.
Tonight is the most exciting night for all Melbourne-writers-who-do-nano-with-melbnano: Night of Manuscripting Madly. And while I was taking photos of my exciting new haircut from today, my phone randomly pulled up pics I’d taken of myself and others for last year’s NOMM.
And that was enough to inspire a new then and now post.
November 3, 2016
HOW I FOUND OUT
At the beginning of this year, my best friend and I drove down the Great Ocean Road. We went around a curve in the road and I drew in my breath because the forests were laid out before me in a startling contrast of gold lace against shadow. The next moment I realised, with another quieter shock, that the shining woods were burned land and the bright leaves were ashes.
It was my first time in Australia, and I loved it so much that I planned to go back this winter. But for a while before that, I was enjoying being in Ireland with Loved Ones, etc.
MUM: So you’re getting ready for Australia.
SARAH: Yep, I bought ankle boots!
MUM: Cool priorities. You might want to see the doctor before you go, just for a check-up about being so worn down and that cough.I went in for a quick check-up. I wasn’t all that concerned. Writers are just sick a lot: we have an awesome job, but we also have a weird job where you often overwork and keep odd hours and do not take care of yourself. A guy I know worked so hard he got shingles and lost his hair. One of my close writer friends got pneumonia and broke her rib coughing. I got pneumonia from overwork four years ago, and since then have had recurring bouts of bronchitis or pneumonia, depending on my luck! So I went to the doctor and was like ‘Check me out, not to brag but I haven’t had bronchitis since February and it is September, but if you could do something about the persistent cough that would be great.’
Away I went. A few days later it was my birthday, and my phone rang. I was asleep, due to being a lazy toad who regularly wakes up at I’m-too-ashamed-to-tell-you o’clock. I flailed about in my bedsheets and seized the phone, assuming muzzily it was a Loved One with birthday wishes.
SARAH: Hey, sweetie!
DOCTOR: Er, hello… this is your G.P…
SARAH: Hey, er… doctor sweetie… I just feel very close to you since the thermometer incident… No. Uh, why are you calling?
DOCTOR: So your haemoglobin is half the haemoglobin of a normal person’s.
SARAH: Huh.
DOCTOR: I would never have thought you were as sick as you are when I saw you!
SARAH: I cannot say you have a soothing bedphoneside manner, doctor.
DOCTOR: Go to the hospital. Soon.
SARAH: Okay, I promise I will. Soon!(Cut for super length and pictures, but I hope you read on!)
October 27, 2016
October Update:I’d best get this party started before...
October Update:
I’d best get this party started before October rolls into November and I disappear for the month of Nano.
Despite my cat’s best efforts, I am getting writing done. It is just over a week until my polyamorous novella The Shock of Survival will with everyone who preordered it. There’s currently a Goodreads contest going on for a TSoS giveaway if you wanna click here.
Otherwise the buy link is here. Preorders are good for you because there’s currently 15% off as well.
I know in my September post, I was excited about the beginning of spring. That turned out to be a lie. The weather in Melbourne has been absolutely horrible but I’m hoping *fingers crossed* we’re just about to see some nicer weather now.
After several weeks, I’ve finally gotten out of my writer’s block and am quietly excited about the next poly novel I have planned, far too early for specifics on that just yet, but it may be I’ve found a new home for an old work. Maybe.
In another month or so, I’ll be turning my attention to Fairytales Slashed, Volume 7, in which I have a short Cinderella-type story.
