Lara Schiffbauer's Blog, page 9
October 15, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: That's a Moray!
How are you feeling this Friday?
Like the happy dog below?
I was feeling pretty good until I paid some unexpected bills. Then I felt like this:
Exactly like my bank account. I'm sad to announce the days of being a full-time writer are over. I've started looking for a job. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
Last week's winner was:
Here's some new funny for you!
In honor of hunting season starting soon.
Oops, I read it...
A couple of cephalopod jokes, because my kids are into squids and octopuses right now.
Puns!
My favorite is a tie between the horrified elk and the bartender with "womanly legs."
What's your favorite?
Like the happy dog below?
I was feeling pretty good until I paid some unexpected bills. Then I felt like this:
Exactly like my bank account. I'm sad to announce the days of being a full-time writer are over. I've started looking for a job. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
Last week's winner was:
Here's some new funny for you!
In honor of hunting season starting soon.
Oops, I read it...A couple of cephalopod jokes, because my kids are into squids and octopuses right now.
Puns!
My favorite is a tie between the horrified elk and the bartender with "womanly legs."
What's your favorite?
October 8, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Snippets and Pyrites
Hey there! How'd your week go?
Here's a cute picture of a baby stingray I took at the Omaha zoo, to get our weekend funny started.
I saw a meme that said they look like raviolis with faces, and I think they're right. Especially the raviolis my Italian grandma made. They were huge! Well, are huge, because I make them now.
For fun, here's a little snippet from the first chapter of Through the Fairy Ring. I'm getting excited to share the story so I hope you don't mind if I tuck a little in this post. If you came only for the funny photos, just jump down below the italicized words.
All righty! Let's get to the photos, then.
He didn't go back with the Doctor (Who)!
How I feel anytime I go shopping.
What is it with the Clint Eastwood look-alike dogs?
Puns!
My favorite today is the limitations of my medication. I hope you found one you like!
Have an awesome weekend!
Here's a cute picture of a baby stingray I took at the Omaha zoo, to get our weekend funny started.
I saw a meme that said they look like raviolis with faces, and I think they're right. Especially the raviolis my Italian grandma made. They were huge! Well, are huge, because I make them now.
For fun, here's a little snippet from the first chapter of Through the Fairy Ring. I'm getting excited to share the story so I hope you don't mind if I tuck a little in this post. If you came only for the funny photos, just jump down below the italicized words.
Similar to a fly, the sound was ten times more robust. The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound like anything fun or pleasant.
Not wishing to frighten Meara, I forced a casual tone into my voice. “I don’t know what that is, sweetie. Let’s look.”
Meara shoved her spoon into her cereal and ran to the window, her black curly hair bouncing with each step. I set the oatmeal out of Garron’s reach, gave him the towel to keep him occupied, and hurried to join her. Outside, above the trees where the meadow met the forest, an undulating cloud of opalescent shimmer swooped and twisted.
“Those aren’t insects, are they?” I hoped not, but as the cloud approached the manor, the opalescent sheen organized into hundreds of gossamer wings like those of dragonflies the size of pie plates. The front edge of the cloud dipped from the sky, headed directly for us.“Meara, get away from the window.”
She didn’t move, her eyes riveted on the cloud.
“Now, Meara.” I grabbed her shoulders and yanked her backward. The first of the insects came through the window, buzzing around her head. She shrieked and batted the colorful bug to the ground.
Frederick, our Firecat, jumped out from under the table and pounced on the thing. His body covered the insect, so only the wings showed beyond his amber fur.
“Get off me!” A voice, muffled and filled with fear, came from underneath Frederick.
Insects that talk? Even in the Realm that wasn’t normal. “Frederick, what have you got?”
He twisted his head to look at me, his eyes narrow, paw on the creatures stomach. Small human arms reached around it, tiny fists pounding the soft edges.
“What the…?”
All righty! Let's get to the photos, then.
He didn't go back with the Doctor (Who)!
How I feel anytime I go shopping.
What is it with the Clint Eastwood look-alike dogs?
Puns!
My favorite today is the limitations of my medication. I hope you found one you like!
Have an awesome weekend!
October 1, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Twisted Traps
Happy Friday!!
I hope everyone had a good week. I'm not sure where it went. I've noticed when I try to get things done around the house, not much writing gets done. And when I write, not much around the house gets done. And on days like today, nothing got done, and I don't know why.
This week I've got some writing news to share. I've started my "blurb" for Through the Fairy Ring, so I can get a cover made and start pre-orders, should anyone want to do such a thing.
Amazon caught up to the fact that Finding Meara was free and reduced the price to nothing. During mid-week it was fun to see it shoot up the free charts for a bit. It's free through the weekend (I'll mark them all up on Monday) so if you want to see if it really is a fast-paced, fun and mildly romantic adventure, you can still do so at no risk to your wallet! Click the cover in the sidebar at the right to order it.
(Quick note: I checked the UK Amazon and it's still .99--as are other non-US markets--but I was excited to see that people have bought it. Right now I actually have a ranking above 50,000! That's fantastic - thanks to whoever bought the book!)
This week I posted the second story from the Build-a-Story game, with the story starters of "Hazel, singing, Adven, love" chosen by Kathy Schwab. It's called The Singing Oracle, and click here if you want to read it!
Thank you so much, Suzi Retzlaff, Lexa Cain, LG Smith and Veronica Roth for commenting last week (and the birthday wishes!) No clear winner for favorite photo this week, so we'll move on to the new funnies.
I have waaaay too many accounts like this.
Oh, the everyday conundrums.
Puns!
Since Boy 1 started learning to play the cello, I've learned enough that this is funny to me.
(Pizzicato means to play by plucking the strings. Right now it's the only way Boy 1 is playing.)
My favorite is the trapped Kermit. It's so wrong it's really funny. Or I'm just that warped.
What is your favorite?
I hope everyone had a good week. I'm not sure where it went. I've noticed when I try to get things done around the house, not much writing gets done. And when I write, not much around the house gets done. And on days like today, nothing got done, and I don't know why.
This week I've got some writing news to share. I've started my "blurb" for Through the Fairy Ring, so I can get a cover made and start pre-orders, should anyone want to do such a thing.
Amazon caught up to the fact that Finding Meara was free and reduced the price to nothing. During mid-week it was fun to see it shoot up the free charts for a bit. It's free through the weekend (I'll mark them all up on Monday) so if you want to see if it really is a fast-paced, fun and mildly romantic adventure, you can still do so at no risk to your wallet! Click the cover in the sidebar at the right to order it.
(Quick note: I checked the UK Amazon and it's still .99--as are other non-US markets--but I was excited to see that people have bought it. Right now I actually have a ranking above 50,000! That's fantastic - thanks to whoever bought the book!)
This week I posted the second story from the Build-a-Story game, with the story starters of "Hazel, singing, Adven, love" chosen by Kathy Schwab. It's called The Singing Oracle, and click here if you want to read it!
Thank you so much, Suzi Retzlaff, Lexa Cain, LG Smith and Veronica Roth for commenting last week (and the birthday wishes!) No clear winner for favorite photo this week, so we'll move on to the new funnies.
I have waaaay too many accounts like this.
Oh, the everyday conundrums.Puns!
Since Boy 1 started learning to play the cello, I've learned enough that this is funny to me.(Pizzicato means to play by plucking the strings. Right now it's the only way Boy 1 is playing.)
My favorite is the trapped Kermit. It's so wrong it's really funny. Or I'm just that warped.
What is your favorite?
September 24, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Bumping Belugas and Grinning Guinea Pigs
Now that I have your attention, I'll say:
Happy Friday!
I've finished with reverse outlining Through the Fairy Ring, and have started cleaning up notes and rewriting the parts that need rewritten. I feel better about the ending. I was worried, but reading it in context with the rest of the book, it actually seems like a pretty good one.
Oh! This weekend is my birthday weekend, and for fun I marked down Finding Meara. It's free on Barnes and Noble, i-tunes and Kobo, and only .99 on Amazon. I wanted to go free there, but they wouldn't let me. I'm hoping maybe the bots will notice it free on the other channels, and then mark it down. Anyway, if you want to check out the book, this might be the weekend/week to do so.
Last week's funniest photo was:
Here's some new photos for you!
It took me a moment.
I found this on Pinterest, but couldn't trace it back to the original posting, so I'm hoping it's okay to have shared it.
More like a slug, actually.
It's important to have fun at work.Puns!
I may have shared this before, but it's so cute it doesn't hurt to share again.All righty! I hope you all have a great, fun, relaxing weekend.
My favorite is Grinny Pig. The pun is so perfect.
What's your favorite?
September 17, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Sexy Pugs
Happy early Friday!
I actually finished the post early, so I decided to go ahead and publish it, instead of waiting for Friday.
This week I found my new musical obsession! This really is me:
Boy 1 started cello lessons last week, and Boy 2 started piano lessons this week. I searched for cello music in Spotify to try to show Boy 1 how beautiful the cello is and what it sounds like. I found all that and more in a cello group (are two people a group?) called 2CELLOS. Has anyone heard of them?
If you haven't, watch the video below, to the end. It was hard to choose a video to introduce them to you, because I like so many (Celloverse!). Several of the songs I put on my Adven/Realm playlist in Spotify, because they feel like the Realm to me. I shared the one below (Trooper Overture) because it clearly shows the connection of classical instruments with rock music, and that's how I see the connection between the Realm and Adven.
They play a cover of Michael Jackson's They Don't Care About Us, and the push and pull of the music matches the theme of Through the Fairy Ring, where Hazel is caught between Fairy and Pixie politics. The inspiration for the story came from the last presidential race, after all.
The last is Benedictus, which I believe they wrote, and reminds me of a specific scene in Through the Fairy Ring between Hazel and her children. So, I hope you enjoy the video. If you get lured away, be sure to come back and tell me what you think!
Last week's winner for funniest video was (overwhelmingly):
On to the new photos!
Just covering all bases.
That is truly animal cruelty!!
A scene from a bad horror film!
Just looking at it makes me uncomfortable.
She becomes middle-aged Barbie.
Puns!
The sexy pug wins it for me. He reminds me of a student I had a few years ago. He wore polo shirts like that and he thought he was all that and more. The pug's smug expression matches his perfectly.
What's your favorite?Did you like the 2CELLOS?
I actually finished the post early, so I decided to go ahead and publish it, instead of waiting for Friday.
This week I found my new musical obsession! This really is me:
Boy 1 started cello lessons last week, and Boy 2 started piano lessons this week. I searched for cello music in Spotify to try to show Boy 1 how beautiful the cello is and what it sounds like. I found all that and more in a cello group (are two people a group?) called 2CELLOS. Has anyone heard of them?
If you haven't, watch the video below, to the end. It was hard to choose a video to introduce them to you, because I like so many (Celloverse!). Several of the songs I put on my Adven/Realm playlist in Spotify, because they feel like the Realm to me. I shared the one below (Trooper Overture) because it clearly shows the connection of classical instruments with rock music, and that's how I see the connection between the Realm and Adven.
They play a cover of Michael Jackson's They Don't Care About Us, and the push and pull of the music matches the theme of Through the Fairy Ring, where Hazel is caught between Fairy and Pixie politics. The inspiration for the story came from the last presidential race, after all.
The last is Benedictus, which I believe they wrote, and reminds me of a specific scene in Through the Fairy Ring between Hazel and her children. So, I hope you enjoy the video. If you get lured away, be sure to come back and tell me what you think!
Last week's winner for funniest video was (overwhelmingly):
On to the new photos!
Just covering all bases.
That is truly animal cruelty!!
A scene from a bad horror film!
Just looking at it makes me uncomfortable.
She becomes middle-aged Barbie.Puns!
The sexy pug wins it for me. He reminds me of a student I had a few years ago. He wore polo shirts like that and he thought he was all that and more. The pug's smug expression matches his perfectly.
What's your favorite?Did you like the 2CELLOS?
September 13, 2015
Esmay's Sacrifice: An Adven/Realm Tale
Here it is, the first story of the Adven/Realm short stories. Click on the image, and it should take you to Wattpad, where you can read the entire tale. Thanks again to Suzi Retzlaff for being the first, and thanks to Kathy Schwab and Liane McIlwaine for not letting her be the last by playing Build-A-Story with me as well. Be on the lookout for the next Adven/Realm Tale very soon!
h
hSeptember 10, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Friendly Smiles
Here it is, Friday again. This week was over before I even realized it'd started!
I hope you all had a wonderful week. My week began with feeding giraffes at the Colorado Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs, CO. I can't think of any cooler way to begin a week. It was so fun. Those tongues are long, though! Kind of freaky when they're reaching toward you, trying to get the lettuce. One kept licking my arm.
The first draft of the short story for Suzi Weiland-Retzlaff is completed. I just need to make it pretty now, so I should make the deadline of Monday. Be on the look-out for the link!
I lost about four days of the week to visiting my in-laws (which is why we were in Colorado), so I'm finally getting back to editing, too.
Last week's favorite photo was:
Thanks a bunch to Suzi, Joe, Veronica, David and Lexa for your continued visits and comments. :)
Here's this week's photos:
Um, eew?
We all have someone to fangirl over.
I'd say he did it.Puns!
Boy 2 adores pugs and begged me to include this photo.
My favorite is the cat making the dog smile, but I really like the puddle of evil, too.
What's your favorite?Did you do anything unusual this past week?
September 3, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Extreme Childproofing
Happy Friday!
Yes, this was me tonight. The top picture is when I was at my mother's house with the boys right after school. The second is from when we got home until bedtime. I have a headache. Homework is from the devil, designed to destroy a family's center and balance, I swear. And, while there are no excuses for my lack of patience, I am a human being, too. Yeesh.
Okay, so let's get down to business. Thank you to Joe, Veronica, David, LG, Cindy, Suzi and Lexa for commenting last week and being so supportive! You're the best!
I owe Suzi a little extra thanks, because she's willing to try out my crazy Build-A-Story idea. I'm hoping that, after I write her story, others will be willing to give it a try.
The way it works is a person chooses one from each category, and then I write a story around it. I wrote short stories (including the ones that were published) by picking random cards of a character type, a verb, and a setting, and it was really fun and challenging. I thought this might be a way to continue writing while I'm editing, and have some fun with everyone at the same time. I'll post here with the link when I put the stories up on Wattpad, if you want to see how they turn out.
If you'd like to play the game, comment your choices below and I'll start a list. I am hoping to do one a week, if they stay flash-fiction size. If the story grows beyond 1000 words, it might take a little longer. If no one else wants to play, then I'll just draw my own details, so there will still be stories written.
Rude library got the most mentions, so I'm naming it the winner for last week!
On to the new photos:
Today I actually had to double-check "pick" because it just didn't look right.
And notice, they mispelled easy. Do you think that was planned?
Maybe that's actually the opening to the American Wizard School like Hogwarts.
Because I'm so gullible I don't usually like pranks, but this really does seem funny.
Puns!
My favorite is the goat with tennis balls on its head. Something about it just is funny.
Do you have a favorite?
Yes, this was me tonight. The top picture is when I was at my mother's house with the boys right after school. The second is from when we got home until bedtime. I have a headache. Homework is from the devil, designed to destroy a family's center and balance, I swear. And, while there are no excuses for my lack of patience, I am a human being, too. Yeesh.
Okay, so let's get down to business. Thank you to Joe, Veronica, David, LG, Cindy, Suzi and Lexa for commenting last week and being so supportive! You're the best!
I owe Suzi a little extra thanks, because she's willing to try out my crazy Build-A-Story idea. I'm hoping that, after I write her story, others will be willing to give it a try.
The way it works is a person chooses one from each category, and then I write a story around it. I wrote short stories (including the ones that were published) by picking random cards of a character type, a verb, and a setting, and it was really fun and challenging. I thought this might be a way to continue writing while I'm editing, and have some fun with everyone at the same time. I'll post here with the link when I put the stories up on Wattpad, if you want to see how they turn out.
If you'd like to play the game, comment your choices below and I'll start a list. I am hoping to do one a week, if they stay flash-fiction size. If the story grows beyond 1000 words, it might take a little longer. If no one else wants to play, then I'll just draw my own details, so there will still be stories written.
Rude library got the most mentions, so I'm naming it the winner for last week!
On to the new photos:
Today I actually had to double-check "pick" because it just didn't look right.And notice, they mispelled easy. Do you think that was planned?
Maybe that's actually the opening to the American Wizard School like Hogwarts.
Because I'm so gullible I don't usually like pranks, but this really does seem funny.Puns!
My favorite is the goat with tennis balls on its head. Something about it just is funny.
Do you have a favorite?
August 27, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Appalled Cats
Happy Friday!
I hope you all had an awesome week!
My week started with deciding to be a stay-at-home mom/wife/writer for a while, unless the perfect job shows up. Maybe something like this one:
I could definitely roar and rapidly claw at people in angry velociraptor style for $15 an hour.
The thing about staying at home and pretending to be a successful writer is that I won't have a paycheck coming in. I've been working since I was fifteen years old, so it feels very weird to not be able to count on my own paycheck.
I will admit, though, I'm loving writing for several hours each morning. I've figured out a solution to some structural issues at the first part of Through the Fairy Ring. I've reverse-outlined about the first quarter of the story. Hopefully there won't be the need for more structural overhaul, and the rest of the outlining will go more quickly.Then I can go back and start rewriting. I get to pretend to be a successful writer for as long as my savings holds out, so I am going to start pinching pennies to get as much time as possible!
We didn't really have a winner for funniest photo last week, so we'll get right to the new ones.
And lately my phone battery dies really fast.
I'd say Irvine wins.
Also known as the WTF face.
The optimistic elevator.
Now I'm going to have to check out our library to see if we have any rude books.Puns!
Am I the only one who has thought this every time they hear a dog is a Whippet?My favorite today is the appalled cat.What was your favorite?Have a great weekend!
August 20, 2015
Funny Friday Photos: Near-Death Musical Experiences
Happy Friday, everyone!
It looks like I'll get a writing office, complete with Pokemon decorations on the walls. I'm just happy that Boy 1 will start going to sleep before 11:00pm again. Maybe if school started off better for them, having their own rooms would have gone better. Hopefully things will improve, but for now they both wanted to share a room, so I get an office!
I've been editing Through the Fairy Ring, and have developed a little more of the Fairy lineages, which has better informed the plot, and given more motivation to both the Pixie Queen's actions, and Edlark's. I love the name I came up with for one of the Fairies of the insect-air lineage. His name is Terlach of Frid-Adhar, and he's one of the more nasty, and humorous, of the characters in TTFR. It was fun to do the research to develop the fictional lines. I don't know if I'll call them clans or not. Calling the groups clans seems cliche.
Thank you Lexa, Suzi, Veronica, David and Joe for commenting last week! Veronica, I'll do a special post with some pictures of the writing room, and some other photos of places special to me, once I get things rearranged (again).
Here are this week's new photos. Last week there wasn't a clear winner.
Isn't that just how it feels to have an itch scratched in just the right way?
Does this dog only have three legs? I think so!
Must have been very preoccupied that morning.
That is so what meeting goals feels like.
I hold my breath each time I look at this picture.Puns!
A little jazz will see you through.
I love this picture. It's so pretty!My favorite is the Near-Death Metal woman. It made me laugh, while the rest were more "chucklers."
Did you have a favorite?
It looks like I'll get a writing office, complete with Pokemon decorations on the walls. I'm just happy that Boy 1 will start going to sleep before 11:00pm again. Maybe if school started off better for them, having their own rooms would have gone better. Hopefully things will improve, but for now they both wanted to share a room, so I get an office!
I've been editing Through the Fairy Ring, and have developed a little more of the Fairy lineages, which has better informed the plot, and given more motivation to both the Pixie Queen's actions, and Edlark's. I love the name I came up with for one of the Fairies of the insect-air lineage. His name is Terlach of Frid-Adhar, and he's one of the more nasty, and humorous, of the characters in TTFR. It was fun to do the research to develop the fictional lines. I don't know if I'll call them clans or not. Calling the groups clans seems cliche.
Thank you Lexa, Suzi, Veronica, David and Joe for commenting last week! Veronica, I'll do a special post with some pictures of the writing room, and some other photos of places special to me, once I get things rearranged (again).
Here are this week's new photos. Last week there wasn't a clear winner.
Isn't that just how it feels to have an itch scratched in just the right way?
Does this dog only have three legs? I think so!
Must have been very preoccupied that morning.
That is so what meeting goals feels like.
I hold my breath each time I look at this picture.Puns!
A little jazz will see you through.
I love this picture. It's so pretty!My favorite is the Near-Death Metal woman. It made me laugh, while the rest were more "chucklers."Did you have a favorite?
