Jim Palmer's Blog, page 72

Trash bags and truth

“On our journey of spiritual seeking, we fill hefty trash bags with information, concepts, and formulas, only to discover that we must discard them all in order to know the truth.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

No two people’s experience of life is the same.

“No two people’s experience of life is the same. You and I could both be eating the same food, or hearing the same song, or seeing the same film, or feeling the same wind… but your and my experience of these would be different. People often think of life as something that is happening to them as if you don’t really get a choice in what happens in life. Each of us is born out of the image, likeness and being of God. The first picture we often get of God is God as creator. Likewise, each of us has this creative capacity within us. Life is not what happens to you, it’s what you create out of what shows up in each moment.

People often use the phrase, “God is in control.” It’s a way we soothe ourselves when the randomness of life seems cruel and painful. We like the idea that God has a plan and is continuously weaving together the circumstances of our lives to achieve it.

But perhaps consider it this way. Life is never random because life is not what happens to you, but is what you create out of what shows up in each moment. In other words, God is “in control,” not because God is pulling all those strings in the background to make everything work out one way or another, but God is “in control” because God endowed us with the capacity to create our experience of life.

This seems evident in the life of Jesus. If God was pulling strings on Jesus’ behalf, God didn’t seem to do such a great job, given all the trouble, difficulty, hardship, rejection, betrayal, and abuse Jesus endured. There were even moments when it seemed to Jesus as though God had abandoned him altogether. But Jesus operated within the truth of who he was, which was the deciding element of how Jesus experienced life.

A paraphrase of Hebrews 12:2 reads, Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever.”

In other words, each of us would be wise to consider how Jesus approached life. He was not protected from the hardships of human living, and yet he brought to each moment of life an awareness of the truth – the truth of his identity in and with God. Jesus said knowing this truth sets us free. It sets us free in this moment, and the next moment, and the next moment, and the next. This truth… this freedom… invites us to create our experience of life.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

Blind to the simple truth

“The focus of religion tends to lead to a hardening of the categories, which is affectionately referred to as “doctrine.” But the road to peace and freedom is not one of solidifying and concretizing our notions about God, but loosening our grip on them. One of our biggest obstacles are all the things we think we already know. Spiritual growth isn’t so much about taking on new ideas as much as it is letting go of the old ones, and you have to let go with both hands.

Imagine someone hanging on with their hands on the edge of a cliff. The cliff represents all the ideas and notions you have about yourself, God, life and what’s real. Can you envision those two hands – those ten fingers clutching the edge of the cliff for dear life? Stop clutching! Yes, I know it’s difficult to let go all at once. So, start letting go one finger at a time. Aim not to reify your notions of truth, and instead make it a practice to only hold them loosely.

Jesus chastised the religious leaders for idolizing their theories and concepts about God, which only served to blind them to the simple truth that was right before them.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

I sometimes hear these voices in my head.

I sometimes hear these voices in my head, telling me that I am not good enough and never will be, will always fall short, and a failure.

Here are six realizations I’ve discovered about these voices:

1. They are mostly voices of my childhood and youth. One of them is my older brother who protected himself from his own shame by abusing his power to mentally and emotionally abuse me. His way of making himself feel big was putting me down.

2. For me, instead of striving for power, my pattern for dealing with my shame is to strive for perfection. As a child I worked out in my head that if I could be perfect, I would no longer be so vulnerable to shame and would be good. This is one reason why I am attached to the Superman metaphor.

3. Unfortunately, the kind of perfection I strive for is impossible to maintain. So now as an adult, when I see myself falling short of my high standards, I plunge right back into the shame I wanted to escape, and feel worthless, not good enough and a failure.

4. As a perfectionist, I have never developed an internal sense of how much is good enough. When I was young, love and acceptance were conditional on how I performed. With an alcoholic mother and absent father, I was left to myself and only had external things to measure myself by, and thus the seeds of perfectionism were sown into me.

5. I have come a long way but I still have some shame process that is implicit, unconscious and hidden in my subconscious memory. The work I am doing is slowly reversing this process. I have been determined to address my shame and I have more insight into it, such as identifying the original sources of my internalized shame pattern. I think the next big push for me will really result in my coming into my own and developing an inner strength that will serve me well.

6. I have not done this work on my own. My daily relationship with Heather is a source of unconditional love and acceptance, and I am able to share my shame and receive her understanding, validation and support. I am currently working with someone on a weekly basis to unpack the dynamics of my shame. I also have a couple close friends who have walked with me on my journey the last several years who are a profound source of love, encouragement, acceptance, empathy and wisdom.

I share this in hopes that there might be something encouraging in it for others who are facing their own lives.

The path to peace and freedom

“You are making the path to peace and freedom difficult because you insist upon your conditions and preferences.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

Support the cause; receive some art

So, I think most of you know that people in spiritual crisis often seek me out for support, for which a few email exchanges doesn’t address the need. This is why a few years ago I started offering spiritual/life direction, coaching and counseling. About half the people who contact me are not in a financial situation to afford this. You’d be surprised by the number of people in situations where they do not have adequate financial resources or do not have access to them. Based on the number of people who contact me, I could be doing spiritual/life direction, coaching and counseling all day and night. But I can’t do all of it at no cost or I wouldn’t be able to pay my own bills, and I would have to stop it altogether. So at the beginning of each month, I ask people to make a PayPal contribution to the cause.

For the month of May I decided to offer a 10 x 10 painting of mine on canvas for a $100 contribution. There will be some cost on my end for time, materials and shipping, which is why I’m offering it a $100 giving level. Above is the acrylic painting I most recently did on paper. The painting I do as a perk for each contributor will be an original abstract painting.

If you are interested in supporting my work, and receiving a 10 x 10 painting of mine, you can make your $100 contribution at this PayPal link -> https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=GH2775BZ2W9RY

Maybe what you’re seeking is already all there is.

“Maybe what you’re seeking is already all there is.

Maybe what you’ve longed for is already constantly happening.

Maybe what you’re hoping to become is already what you’ve always been.

Maybe nothing was lost or went away…

except you, when you went looking for it.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge

6 ways I’ve learned to live in the present moment

6 ways I’ve learned to live in the present moment:

1. Withhold Judgment. At times I react to people and their responses to me or situations by too quickly applying meaning to what took place. Normally my interpretation is tainted by my past, particularly painful past experiences. So I take my knee-jerk interpretation to be true and my internal response and external actions are based on the story I have concocted in my head. As a result I often expend a lot unnecessary emotional energy. Most times the truth is much different than my fiction. I’m starting to learn to hold off judgment; to patiently allow things to develop and happen before I rush in with Jim’s reactionary interpretation. Sometimes that’s just a matter of thirty minutes. It’s often the case that things aren’t as bad as the story I cooked up in my head. I’m learning not to violate the present moment by projecting false meaning upon it.

2. Don’t Indulge Pain. Some of my feelings seem so powerful that I become trapped in them. When I indulge my emotional pain it seems to strengthen their hold on me. One extreme is denying what I feel, the other is obsessing in it. The middle way is very difficult for me; I’m more accustomed to either shutting down emotionally entirely, or drowning in my pain. I am slowly getting better at managing my emotions. When feelings of hurt, sadness, sorrow or heartache come, I allow myself to fully feel them but then I let them go. I’ve realized that honoring my feelings involves both. Feelings want to come and they also want to go. I can violate my feelings and corrupt the present moment by preventing either the coming or the going.

3. Touch the Sky. There is beauty and goodness all around you; quick, find it!! Discover it within yourself. See it in the deep blue sky stretched out above you, or feel it in the gentle breeze across your face. Experience it in the giving and receiving of love. Lay hold of it in the expression of your unique gifts and passion. Be open to the goodness and beauty that surrounds you in every moment – see it, hear it, touch it, taste it, smell it, feel it, express it…find it. What the present moment holds for you is largely determined by what you are open to and mindful of.

4. Get out of my head. Enough already; quit analyzing every little thing!! There is an entire dimension of life and living that is not experienced or processed through the machinations of your mind. Life is not a math test. Some of the most satisfying and meaningful realities are experienced in and through your spirit, soul, deep inner knowing, intuition, gut, deep feelings, or tacit understanding. At times, embracing the present moment means getting out of your head and listening to and following that other thing.

5. Dance with life. It’s frightening but true – a hell of a lot of life is out of your control. If your way is trying to control things – people and circumstances – you are totally screwed!! The determining factor of your present moment is not simply a matter of what happens to you but your response to it. Life is your dance partner and you can’t control what it does, but the dance step is not complete until you do your thing. In that sense, you actually are in more “control” than you think. It’s not the dance partner who controls your life and you cannot control your dance partner, it’s about the dance itself in which you are an equal participant and partner. I am learning that the great opportunity of my next moment is not a matter of my being able to control or determine what happens in that moment itself but how I dance in it.

6. Be the solution where I am. Everyday we are bombarded with the reality of pain and hardship taking place in every corner of our world. Before radio and television we were much less aware of what was happening outside our local community or city. Sometimes we become so absorbed with suffering on the other side of the world that we forget about the opportunities to alleviate human suffering down the street. You would probably be surprised by the level of emotional, relational, spiritual, physical, and financial need that exists within a 10-mile radius from where you live. Sometimes we miss the opportunity of the present moment, unaware of the need and opportunity right before us along the everyday paths of life.

The reality that we call “God”…

The reality we call “God” is like a 10,000 acre forest preserve, and many people never explore any further than the guard shack.

End of Suffering Cohort Group Information

I’m passing along the information on a cohort group I’m leading in May:

End of Suffering Cohort Group

A spiritual journey of exploring and addressing the root causes of personal suffering

People turn to religion, God and spirituality in hopes of attaining peace, well-being, freedom and happiness. But despite their effort and dedication, their discontent continues. The End of Suffering Cohort Group is designed to address the root causes of personal suffering. It involves letting go of those beliefs about ourselves, God and life that cause our suffering, and taking on new ways of seeing and being that keep us connected and grounded in our true source of peace, well-being, freedom and happiness.

The journey is a 5-week process that includes:

1. Participating in a cohort community

• The cohort groups are generally 8 people, who are broken down into pairs or partners

• A private Facebook Group Page allows cohort members to process the journey together through sharing and mutual encouragement and support

• Jim will maintain an active presence on the group page for interaction and discussion

• Each member will be paired up with a partner in the group for the purpose of creating and maintaining an active spiritual friendship for the cohort journey and beyond

2. 5 Individual Spiritual Direction Calls

• After some preliminary and foundation-laying assignments through email, Jim will have a weekly spiritual direction call with each Cohort member by phone or Skype

• Each call will revolve around a key area related to addressing the root cause of personal suffering, and fleshed out in the context of each person’s life and journey

• Readings and assignments will be given to each member between calls

3. Each cohort member who completes the journey will receive a 25% discount on the next cohort group of their choice.

The cohort group is scheduled to begin the second week in May. The total cost for the End of Suffering Cohort group is $250. If you are interested in participating, send Jim a Facebook message or email him at: nobody.jimpalmer@gmail.com