Jim Palmer's Blog, page 46

Less intersted in doctrine, more intersted in truth

Love is not theology

God’s love is not a spigot

Happiness is…

“Many people are waiting for life’s circumstances to work out so they can finally be happy, not realizing that at any moment they could stop and choose happiness. Happiness is a fuzzy concept and can mean many different things to many people. The notions of well-being, quality of life, and flourishing are related concepts to happiness. We often think that realities outside ourselves make us happy, but the truth is that happiness is generated from inside. One way to get at it is to consider all the things that you can experience within yourself or as yourself that no circumstance can stop you from. For example, in any moment you can choose to be true to yourself and your most cherished beliefs about life and living. In any moment, you can choose to be an observer or student of yourself, becoming aware of those patterns of thinking and being that derail and sabotage your life. You can choose to love, whatever that might mean in any particular circumstance. You can choose to add kindness and compassion to a hardship you encounter around you. You can choose a path to address a situation in your life that is a source of great pain and heartache.”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the Edge: Unmasking the Truth to End Your Suffering

What does “being present in the moment” even mean?

The idea of “being present in the moment” sounds right but can be a little elusive and frustrating when seeking to apply it. It can come across as though one should stop and have some sort of deep or spiritual experience. Instead, consider the possibility that the spiritual life is simply responding to situations as they require. If you need to walk from your kitchen to your bedroom, it’s not necessary to stop at each step and “be present in the moment” and have a “spiritual experience.” Life itself is spiritual and no moment needs you to do anything to add the spirituality to it. There are some moments, such as catching a beautiful sunset, when you experience deep feelings and feel a greater connection to God and life. But no not suppose that such a moment is more “spiritual” than walking from your kitchen to the bedroom. It’s only that the two situations were different, inviting two different responses. Your life is your spiritual path… every part of it.

Here’s to the walking wounded

Here’s to all the walking wounded…

to those still carrying a little heartbroken boy or girl inside;

to those who feel rejected and lonely;

to those who woke up with a dull ache inside;

to those who are wondering where God is in the midst of their deep pain;

to those whose past wounds have been pulled opened yet again;

to those weary and worn out, and long for some place called home;

to those in the darkness who can’t seem to find the light;

to those who wonder if they will ever find love;

to those who feel misunderstood;

to the abandoned and discarded;

to those who feel they are running out of reasons to get out of bed each morning;

to those in the clutches of depression;

to those who are smiling on the outside but dying on the inside;

to those suffering in silence,

to those for whom the Christmas holiday makes everything worse…

You are not alone. You are not forgotten. We are all in this together. Somebody cares. One of them is me.

A simpler Christology

There was a way that religion gave me an out in terms of caring about the pain and suffering of the world. I was taught that people were intrinsically bad, and that misery and despair were inevitable and unchangeable in the herelife. Not to worry, I was told that one day I would escape the mess of this world, and God would fix the rest in the end. But as time rolled on in my journey of shedding religion, I woke up one day and suddenly found something. I found my heart. And I discovered that I cared. I cared about the pain and suffering of the world that I encountered along the everyday paths of my life. In seminary I learned quite an elaborate Christology, studying things like the hypostatic union and homoousios. But I don’t think anything I learned about Jesus in all my theological training trumps what I finally discovered with my heart. Jesus cared. There is nothing more divine than that. Do you want to be like Jesus? Do you want to make a difference in this world? The true heroes in this world are simply people who care. You have a good heart, listen to it. It’s as simple as that. Care.

What’s better than being right?

Why not to judge people

5 Reasons Not to Judge People:

1. You don’t know what is going on inside another person.

How many times have you been asked how you are, and said “fine,” even though you weren’t? We all know this is true. We mask our pain. We suffer in silence. We put on the happy/smiley face when we are dying inside. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean another person isn’t hurting. A person’s actions or behaviors may not be any indication of what is going on inside of them.

2. People are doing the best they can.

I know this is sometimes difficult to believe about another person. I get that. It’s hard for me at times to believe that about others. But think about it. You know it’s true. It’s complicated! Life is complicated! People are complicated! There are a lot of moving parts inside and outside a person. Aren’t we all a little off – carrying pain, unhealed wounds, ways we protect ourselves, and other dysfunctions we have picked up a long the way?

3. You don’t have all the answers.

At times we can look at another person’s life and just see all this stupid stuff it appears they’re doing. On the outside looking in, another person’s life seems pretty cut and dry to us in terms of what they should be doing or not doing or how they are handing a situation or whatever. It’s amazing how quickly we turn into the infallible personal life coach when it comes to another person’s life!

4. Being judged hurts.

It’s quite possible that the most painful human feeling is one of being judged. There’s so much involved – silent pain; being misunderstood; rejection in the very moment we most need understanding, love and acceptance.

5. Every human being is worth love and acceptance.

Judging people often leads to objectifying them. People are not objects. A suicide happens every 20 seconds. People will often show up in our lives at the end of their rope… hanging on by a thread. The expression of love, acceptance, understanding and kindness to someone who is struggling or hurting may be the difference between them giving up on themselves and life or finding the courage and hope to keep living.

Redefining “godly”