Harvey MacKay's Blog, page 5

Dig your well before you’re thirsty

If I had to name the single characteristic shared by all the truly successful people I’ve met over a lifetime, I’d say it is the ability to create and nurture a network of contacts.

Although I never met David Rockefeller, he certainly would have fit in this category.  When he passed away in March 2017 at the age of 101, “Bloomberg News” revealed that he had an “electronic Rolodex” of 150,000 people.  “The Wall Street Journal” recently reported it was 200,000.  He was a master networker during his 24 years as the head of Chase Manhattan Bank and 60 years of being involved with the Council on Foreign Relations. 

In my corporate speeches, I often ask the question:  What is one of the most important words in the English language?  I add that if all of us understood this word just a little bit better, we’d be way more successful than we already are.  That word is “Rolodex,” which of course is now referred to as a contact management system.

My father, Jack Mackay, who for 35 years headed of the Associated Press in St. Paul, Minnesota, shared his secret with me when I was 18.  He said, “Harvey, every single person you meet the rest of your life should go in your Rolodex file.  Write a little bit about that person on the bottom or the back of the card.  And now, here’s the key – find a creative way to keep in touch.”

That’s what I’ve been doing ever since.  I now have nearly 20,000 names in my electronic Rolodex file, a far cry from David Rockefeller, but still crucial to my career.  The contacts I’ve made over all these years are why I’ve been writing this nationally syndicated column for the last 24 years.

My Rolodex was instrumental in launching my publishing career.  Let me explain.  In 1988, there were roughly two million “wannabes,” people who wrote manuscripts.  Roughly 200,000 books got published.  Of those only a small percentage were business books.  If you’re a first-time, unknown author like me and you write a business book, you want to get it published.  All the major publishers will print 10,000 hardcover books.  That’s it.  Tom Peters, “In Search of Excellence,” 10,000 copies; Ken Blanchard, “The One-Minute Manager,” 7,500 books.

This is why it was so tough to get started.  There were 5,000 bookstores back in the ‘80s and ‘90s, which means an average of only two books per store if they print 10,000 copies. 

I had written a book titled “Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.”  I wanted the publisher to print a lot of books so they would promote it and not run out of books.  I scheduled a summit meeting with William Morrow and Company – the CEO, President and VP of National Sales.  About 45 minutes into the meeting I asked for the order.  I said, “I would like you to seriously consider printing 100,000 hardcover copies of ‘Swim With the Sharks.’  We were on the 37th floor, and they basically told me to jump.  The VP of National Sales closed his notebook and said, “Thank you very much, Mr. Mackay.  Obviously, we’re not going to get together.”  Then he basically screamed, “Who are you coming in here asking for 100,000 copies?  We only print 10,000 copies for any first-time unknown author.” 

I’d brought in two humongous brief cases and took them out.  Inside were two huge Rolodex files, 6,500 names at the time.  I started to go through them:  “Pillsbury, 18,000 employees.  We do business with them.  Maybe they’ll read the book and pass it along.  General Mills, 23,000 employees; Cargill; 3M; here’s American Express.”  I went to the second Rolodex file.  “We do business in six countries, France, Germany, Spain … maybe it’ll be an international bestseller.” 

Three weeks and three meetings later, they published 100,000 hardcover copies of “Swim With the Sharks.”  And it became a New York Times #1 bestseller.

Did I know when I was 18 where my contacts were going to come from?  Do any of you know where your contacts will come from five, 10 or 15 years from now? 

Our lives basically change in two ways – the people we meet and the books we read.  Trust me; the people you meet every day are extremely important in building your network.

In my entire career I have never once heard a successful person say he or she regretted putting time and energy into keeping their Rolodex file.

Mackay’s Moral:   When you work on your network, your network works for you.

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A new year brings change

A new year often brings new beginnings.  I was intrigued to discover how one company used a novel way to motivate employees to think about new ways of doing things.

Here is the approach practiced by Chiyoji Misawa, who founded the largest home builder in Japan, Misawa Homes, more than 50 years ago.  He “died” at least once every decade to arrest the momentum of out-of-date assumptions and policies.  He sent a memo to his company that formally announced “the death of your president.”

According to Robert H. Waterman, Jr. in his book, “The Renewal Factor,” this was Misawa’s way of forcing the whole company to rethink everything.  When employees resist change because they are used to the old way of doing things, Misawa declared:  “That was the way things were done under Mr. Misawa.  He is now dead.  Now, how shall we proceed?”

I was particularly interested in this novel idea because so often the resistance to major changes starts at the top.  As the saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

But that thinking doesn’t apply to improvements.   Simply because things are sailing along, assuming that the winds won’t change is dangerous business.  When I went into the envelope manufacturing business decades ago, the notion of email and the internet were science fiction.  Yet it became one of the biggest challenges that an envelope manufacturer could face. 

Being a great leader is not always about becoming an expert at everything – it’s really about knowing where to find knowledge and expertise when you need it.  That’s where Misawa’s genius was most evident:  knowing how to solicit input and gain perspective from his own connections.

In turn, he encouraged his work force to learn how others approach new markets, revamp processes and resolve problems.  Giving his employees the opportunity to offer their suggestions served several purposes:  acknowledging their value to the company, encouraging them to think ahead, and teaching them not to be afraid of change.

Change is inevitable, and those who embrace it are more likely to have staying power as each new year rings in.   

New Year’s resolutions tend to focus on areas that we know need a change.  Make those resolutions too general or too sweeping, and chances are they will be your resolutions year after year.  Alan C. Freitas, president of Priority Management, recommends that you write resolutions/goals that are SMART:

Specific – Precisely what you want to achieve, and by when.

Measurable – What a successful outcome looks like.

Attainable – Challenging, but achievable.

Relevant – Address areas of your work and life that are really important to you.

Trackable – How you’re going to gauge your progress.

Getting into the right mindset to make changes, large or small, takes some motivation. 

Figure out why you want to achieve the goal.  Make a list of all the ways you will benefit from achieving it.  Whether it’s a personal goal, like finishing a degree, or a professional change, such as breaking into a new market, you need to understand why it will be worth it to make a change.

Then analyze exactly where you are now in reaching that goal:  the strengths that will help you, the weaknesses that could hurt you, and the opportunities you can use to attain what you want. 

Next, you must determine what you’ll need to invest to achieve your goal.  Whether it’s time, money, or something else, know what reaching this goal could “cost” you.  Is it worth it?  If it’s important enough to you, sacrifices will pay off in the end.  Just make sure that you have an end in sight!

Do your research.  You may need to master new abilities to fulfill your resolution.  Will you need to take classes to learn a new skill?  What kind of information do you need access to?  Are you willing to carve out the time it will require?  You don’t want to start something that you are not committed to finishing.

Look for support from family, friends, co-workers, managers or organizations that can help you.  The more people who you share your resolutions or goals with, the more likely you will be to follow through. 

You will have more success if you set deadlines for achieving your goals and resolutions. List specific dates on which you want to complete the various steps of the plan. 

Finally, resolve to make it a happy new year!

Mackay’s Moral:  You don’t have to “die” like Misawa to bring your dreams to life.

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Putting the fun in fundraising

A little girl asked to see the president of a large company.  She explained that her club was raising money and asked if he would contribute.

Smiling, he laid a quarter and a dollar bill on his desk and said, “Take whichever one you want.”

The little girl said, “My mother taught me to take the smallest piece, but I’ll take this piece of paper to wrap it in so I won’t lose it.”  Smart kid.

Fundraising is one of those necessary tasks that enable great causes and scare people silly, all at the same time. 

Even when needs are great, asking for money is a daunting task.  I’ve been involved in a variety of deserving organizations.  The story is the same, time after time.  Volunteers eagerly fill the other committees, but the work can’t even get started until someone brings in the support. 

That is why I see fundraising as a terrific opportunity. 

First and foremost, the organization benefits because you have a chance to put your cause out in front of people who might be able to help, or know someone you can contact.  It may take more than one appeal, so laying the groundwork is an important first step.

Second, you benefit because you can practice your sales skills in an environment that will open doors to people you might not otherwise have contact with.  You learn to handle rejection gracefully, an essential skill that every successful salesperson must master.  And as with any selling proposition, you get better as you practice your presentation. 

While there’s no magic formula for attracting support, there are some guidelines that you should follow. 

Your enthusiasm must be palpable and contagious.  After you’ve made the same pitch dozens of times, you have to be careful not to get stale.

Make an appointment to personalize your request and present the project to its best advantage while respecting other people’s time and interests.  Doing your homework about the people you meet with is essential.  Have printed material available, even if it’s a simple fact sheet.   

Remember your manners.  First, you say please.  Then, regardless of the reply, you say thank you.  Publicly acknowledge those who supported the project, whether in an annual report, plaque or naming opportunity.

Whether you are raising a thousand dollars for a local school or millions for a new hospital wing, these rules apply.  Believe me, I’ve asked many people for large sums of money, and they are still my friends because I am respectful of their time and circumstances.

One of the most successful fundraising efforts I have been involved with is Celebrity Fight Night Foundation, which was established to promote ongoing efforts to eliminate sickness and poverty, supporting such institutions as the Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center. 

My friend Jimmy Walker founded this phenomenal organization more than 20 years ago, and with Executive Director Sean Currie has grown CFN from a one-night star-studded event in Phoenix, to now include a separate five-night gala in Italy. 

I was privileged to join in the spectacular Italian event earlier this fall.  After performing at a Celebrity Fight Night in Phoenix, tenor Andrea Bocelli was inspired to gather a who’s who of international celebrities.  One of the highlights for me was a limited seating concert in the Roman Colosseum featuring Bocelli, Elton John and Steven Tyler.  Other megastars that performed during the week included Reba McEntire, Brooks and Dunn, David Foster, Smokey Robinson, Kristin Chenoweth, and the list goes on, all benefiting the Andrea Bocelli Foundation and Barrow Neurological Institute.   

Together, these events have raised more than $142 million.

Did Jimmy Walker dream that Celebrity Fight Night would grow to these proportions?  Of course!  He got these amazing results because he is a spectacular leader.  He is the epitome of palpable and contagious enthusiasm.

Granted, this is not your everyday fundraiser.  Not every cause will generate this kind of attention, but all successful campaigns have one feature in common:  excellent leadership.

Ted J. Kort, author of “Outside the Box Fundraising:  The Way to Nonprofit Board Success,” says “Fundraising begins with good relationships.  Good relationships are essential for success:  between board members and staff, staff and donors.” 

So before you attach your name to an organization, check out the leadership and the board.  If you find that you aren’t able to get behind the cause or the group, have no fear.  There’s always another group looking for your help! 

Mackay’s Moral :  Think of fund-raising as friend-raising, and the appeal will be much easier.

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Look for these traits in future leaders

I don’t care if you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, a small business owner or a manager or supervisor; you are only as good as the people around you.  In other words, it’s important to surround yourself with success-oriented people. 

When hiring, always try to pick future leaders.  They may not be easy to recognize, but they’re crucial to an organization that wants to be innovative and intrapreneurial.  Here’s a list of factors that can help you identify and develop potential leaders on your staff:

Collaboration.  Look for employees who communicate well, delegate effectively and build strong personal relationships with their co-workers, managers and customers.  They’re committed to their own personal success, of course, but they’re also dedicated to helping other people.
Self-determination.  Intrapreneurial employees value their freedom and autonomy.  They like being their own boss as much as possible, as long as they’re doing something they enjoy.  Allow employees to make their own decisions as long as they’re moving firmly toward your organization’s objectives.
Planning skills.  You want employees who look beyond today’s tasks, who can focus on the long term as well as the short.  They’re good at strategizing and weighing options, and at making decisions that minimize risk and maximize opportunity.
Curiosity.  Most great ideas start with simple questions:  “What if I did this?  Why does that happen?”  Listen to employees’ questions to spot those who are interested in solving problems and learning more about how things work.
Comfort with technology.  Every good leader or potential leader stays on top of the tools that can mean success or failure.  He or she isn’t afraid to use whatever’s available – as long as it works.
Drive for action.  Focus on employees who take initiative without waiting until conditions are perfect.  They like to try things quickly, experiment and then move on to the next challenge.  They’re also not discouraged by setbacks.

Those are traits that employees bring to the job.  Now it’s up to you to help them develop the skills that will enable them use those traits most effectively. 

First and foremost, you need to be a role model.  People will learn much more from your actions than from anything you say.  If you want to be an effective manager, you must be comfortable knowing that your employees might be smarter, more tech savvy or have new ways of doing business.  Try to remember your early career and what you did to prove yourself.  Give them enough latitude to develop their own style, but be ready to offer a guiding hand when necessary.

Teach the importance of networking.  Learning how to make contacts is a necessary skill for every leader.  Stress the importance of both internal and external networks.  I frequently preach, “If I had to name the single characteristic shared by all the truly successful people I’ve met over a lifetime, I’d say it is the ability to create and nurture a network of contacts.”

Share the value of perspective.  Maintaining an even keel in good and bad times prevents the temptation to jump to rash conclusions when a challenge arises, or conversely, when you have had the biggest success of your career.  Emotions have a place, but not in business decisions.  As I like to say, “Make decisions with your heart and you’ll end up with heart disease.”

Insist on respect:  for authority, for co-workers and for self.  Good leaders treat people like people, not property.  Successful leaders won’t stoop to doing deeds that go against their principles just to make a buck.  Good leaders have standards that cannot be compromised because it would destroy their self-respect.

Remind them constantly:  Cream doesn’t rise to the top; it works its way up.  There is no substitute for hard work.  When employees see you working harder than they do, you are reinforcing that a dedicated work ethic is a necessary characteristic of a good leader.

Instill confidence.  Give credit where it is due.  Encourage employees to take charge of projects that will allow them to take appropriate risks and take responsibility for outcomes. 

Make sure they understand responsibility.  As writer Max De Pree puts it, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.  The last is to say thank you.  In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. . . . A friend of mine characterized leaders simply like this:  ‘Leaders don’t inflict pain; they bear pain.’”

Mackay’s Moral:  If you want to grow tomorrow’s leaders, plant seeds of wisdom today. 

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How to deal with disappointment

His team was behind one run in the ninth inning, the bases were loaded with two out, and the leading hitter on the team was coming to bat.  The crowd sat on the edge of its seat as he swung two bats in the on-deck circle, picked up the rosin bag, dropped it, straightened his helmet, knocked the dirt from his spikes, wiped his brow, raised the bat over his shoulder and wiggled it, pounded it on the plate, dug his spikes in, reached forward – and then watched the pitcher pick the runner off third base.

We all deal with disappointment in different ways.  Some pout, a few get angry and others go into denial.

Repressing your feelings is a recipe for disaster.  Ignoring things or holding them in only makes you feel worse.  And it often magnifies the issue so that you cannot deal with it reasonably. 

Getting angry isn’t any better.  Remember, anger is just one letter short of danger.  You risk taking your anger out on someone who doesn’t deserve it, making things worse.

Pouting – feeling sorry for yourself – is probably the most common response.  But it’s not the best way to deal with the situation.  When you dwell on the negative aspects of a disappointing situation, you are blinded to the opportunities that could be staring you in the face.

Leadership consultant Kevin Eikenberry explains:  “We can become much better leaders and professionals if we can get past our internal language and live in the present moment.  The present offers us opportunities to learn, opportunities to teach, opportunities to reinforce positive behaviors in others, opportunities to see our world in new ways, and opportunities to enjoy our day more fully.

“Staying in pouting mode closes the door to all of these opportunities because we don’t see them – we are too busy thinking about ourselves.”

How will you possibly reach your potential if you are busy fretting about the past?  Allow me to share a little secret:  Life is full of disappointments, but it’s also full of opportunity.

The first step to getting over a letdown is to let your feelings out – appropriately.  Talk to a trusted friend or write in a journal.  Resist the temptation to lash out at the offender or your co-workers.  Be extremely careful what you post on social media, because as you already know, the post will outlast the problem and potentially follow you indefinitely. 

Next, put your worries in perspective.  Was this just a blip on the radar or a life-and-death situation?  Did you lose out on a promotion or lose your entire career?  Was this more of a fender-bender or 50-car pile-up?  Ask yourself:  Will this matter a year from now . . . a month from now . . . two days from now?  Few disappointments will have the kind of lasting impact that are worth allowing to fester.  Carrying a grudge is a very heavy burden.

Then stop and think about the things that are going right for you.  As my mother used to say, “There is always something to be grateful for.”  Focus on positive thinking and see if your attitude doesn’t improve dramatically. 

Step back and analyze the outcome.  What did you learn from your disappointment?  Would it have mattered if you had handled the situation differently?  And perhaps the hardest question to ask yourself:  Did I set myself up to fail?  There is an important lesson in every disappointment.  You can learn a lot from some self-examination.

Finally, don’t give up.  Many people have surmounted enormous odds to overcome significant disappointments and have risen to the top.  No matter what your life goals are, you owe it to yourself to jump over the hurdle and get back in the race.  You might have to change your plans, you might adjust your thinking, you might take a different direction.  But you will be open to surprising opportunities if you keep hope alive.

Over my lifetime in business, I’ve had plenty of disappointments.  It would have been easier to throw in the towel on several different occasions.  But I could not imagine what would happen to me if I let problems dictate my future.  I am in charge of my fate, not some outside influences. 

You may not be able to prevent disappointment, but you can control your response to it.   

Mackay’s Moral:   Disappointment might knock you down, but don’t let it knock you out.

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Curiosity can set life on path of discovery

Thomas Edison once visited Luther Burbank, the famed horticulturist, who invited every guest who visited his home to sign the guest book.  Each line in the book had a space for the guest’s name, address and special interests.  When Edison signed the book, in the space marked “Interested in,” Edison wrote:  “Everything!”

Thomas Edison, who was awarded more than 1,000 patents, was a prime example of curiosity.  He said, “The ideas I use are mostly the ideas of other people who don’t develop them themselves.”

That was an understatement.  In his lifetime, Edison invented the incandescent light, the phonograph, the hideaway bed, wax paper, underground electrical wires, an electric railway car, the light socket and light switch, a method for making synthetic rubber from goldenrod plants and the motion picture camera.  He also founded the first electric company. 

Edison refused to let his curiosity be stifled.  He was curious about everything. 

“Ideas are somewhat like babies,” said the late management guru Peter Drucker.  “They are born small, immature and shapeless.  They are promise rather than fulfillment.  The creative manager asks, ‘What would be needed to make this embryonic, half-baked, foolish idea into something that makes sense that is feasible, that is an opportunity for us?’”

I like that thinking.   It validates all my little scraps of paper and two-word dictations, among them my best ideas in infant form.  Developing them and watching them grow, seeing where they go from a little seed – and seeing what other bright ideas grow right along with them – that’s what gets my creative juices flowing. 

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity,” according to the late poet and writer Dorothy Parker.  That statement is pure genius, in my opinion. 

Curiosity is a hunger to explore and a delight in discovery.  When we are curious, we approach the world with a child-like habit of poking and prodding and asking questions.  We are attracted to new experiences.  Rather than pursuing an agenda or a desired set of answers, we follow our questions where they lead.

Socially, curiosity lets us really listen to other people because we want to know who they are.  We open ourselves to the morsels of knowledge and experience they can share with us.  We relish having discoveries of our own to share.

Curiosity makes us interested in a broad range of information, about the world around us, not only that with direct utility.  We learn for the joy of learning.

Are the members of your team curious?  More importantly, do you think curiosity is an important attribute for a person to have?

According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Flow and Creativity,” if people don’t have a strong sense of curiosity, wonder and interest, it’s pretty tough to recognize an interesting problem.

But exactly what are necessary traits to first recognize, and then wrestle with a problem effectively?  He advises in his book to always be open to new experiences and have a fluid attention that always processes things from the environment.  Without this kind of interest, the author says it’s hard to get to the crux of a problem and then push beyond what is already known to solve it in a creative way.

Managers should strive to evoke curiosity and a passion for knowledge in workers, who will likely respond by becoming immersed in solving the company’s problems creatively.

The best way to empower your employees is to ask questions that spur their curiosity and creativity.

Challenge the conventional wisdom.  Ask questions that move people away from the tried-and-true and help them think more creatively.  For example:  “What if we give our product away to every 10th caller on Tuesdays?”
Change the perspective.  Pose questions that take a higher view of a problem – that encourage people to think of the long term or the broader implications.  “How will this change affect the competition?  What will happen to the marketplace as a result?”
Include the entire organization.  Frame questions that address the needs of your organization and the people in it.  “If we eliminate unnecessary paperwork, what will happen in the accounting department?”
Spur excitement.  Ask questions that get people excited about possibilities and potential (and not afraid of the price of failure).  “Do you see any reason why we shouldn’t put this idea into action right away?”

Curiosity goes far beyond the what-ifs – but that’s the best place to start.

Mackay’s Moral:   The only question that doesn’t have an answer is the one that is not asked.

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Why do we need a sense of urgency?

The founder of a highly successful company was asked what it took to succeed.  He answered:  “The same thing it took to get started; a sense of urgency about getting things done.”

The people who make things happen share the same sense of urgency.  Ask any entrepreneur to list the keys to getting their company off the ground, and urgency will be among the traits listed.

No matter how intelligent or able you may be, if you don’t have a sense of urgency you better start developing it now.  The world is full of competent people who honestly intend to do things tomorrow; however, tomorrow seldom comes for them.  Many individuals with less talent are more successful because they understand the importance of urgency.  In other words, get started now.

The downfall for many people and companies is that once they are successful, complacency sets in.  They are comfortable and satisfied with the status quo.  Complacency is the enemy of urgency.  Things don’t happen by sitting back.  Things don’t happen by watching and waiting for others. 

John Kotter, Harvard Business School professor and author of “A Sense of Urgency,” says that keeping up urgency is a challenge because leaders must create it over and over.  It must be embedded in your culture.  Companies are vulnerable for complacency to set in.

He advises that the key for leaders in maintaining a sense of urgency is “to value the capacity to appreciate unexpected opportunities.  This focus results in work that is highly leveraged, meaningful work, a culture that is satisfying to heart and mind, and an organization that continues to succeed in a changing world.”

So the challenge shifts to keeping employees motivated and determined to succeed.

According to Gallup’s “State of the American Workplace Report,” published in 2013, only 30 percent of employees are actively committed to doing a good job.  These are your engaged employees who have passion and a profound connection for their company.  Unfortunately 50 percent of employees only put in their time and are essentially “checked out.”  The remaining 20 percent are actively disengaged employees who are counterproductive and negatively influence others.

Another problem is false urgency, where you have a lot of activity without productive results.  John Kotter explains:  “False urgency is rooted in anger and anxiety … This anger creates conflict, battles and a lot of meetings.  It is often created by pressure from above, with actions that are not aimed at the root cause or real solutions.”

True urgency is focused on accomplishing something important each day.  Urgency is not driven by fear, but rather by a deep determination.

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, talked about urgency in his book, “The Road Ahead.”  He said the secret to Microsoft’s success was that employees always thought of themselves on the losing side, which made them strive to be number one.  That attitude created a sense of urgency which made them work hard to flourish in the highly competitive IT industry.

In today’s entrepreneurial environment, if you don’t move fast, you get run over.  Without a sense of urgency, people and businesses just can’t move fast enough.  But this is not a new concept. 

Centuries ago, Leonardo da Vinci said, “I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.  Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Being willing is not enough; we must do.”

Legendary pro football coach Vince Lombardi demonstrated a tremendous sense of urgency when he took the helm of the Green Bay Packers.  They had a miserable 1-10-1 record in 1958, and at training camp in 1959, he had some stern words for them. 

Lombardi said:  “Gentlemen, we are going to have a great football team.  We are going to win games.  Get that?  You are going to learn to block, run and tackle.  You are going to outplay all the teams that come up against you.  Get that?”

And then he explained his sense of urgency:  “You are to have confidence in me and enthusiasm for my system.  Hereafter, I want you to think of only three things:  your home, your religion, and the Green Bay Packers, in that order!  Let enthusiasm take hold of you, beginning now!”

Virtually the same players as the year before went on to win seven games that year, a division title the next year, and a NFL championship the third year.  The renewed passion for the game, fueled by their new-found urgency, produced astounding results.

Mackay’s Moral:  If it’s worth doing, do it now!

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Perspective deserves a second look

A woman hired a bricklayer to build a wall outside her upscale home.  Talking with him while he worked, she was amazed to discover he was the brother of a brilliant concert violinist whom she’d recently seen perform. 

“Oh, you’re so lucky to have such a talented brother,” she said.  Then, fearing the man might misinterpret her remarks as being critical of his manual labor job, she added:  “Of course, we can’t all be equally talented.”

“You said it, lady,” the man responded.  “Take my brother; when it comes to doing something important like building a house, he’s useless.”

And that is what we mean about how to put things in perspective.

Perspective has many definitions, such as the ability to understand what is important and what isn’t.  And the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance.

When asked by the press for an explanation of his theory of relativity, which would be meaningful to lay people, Albert Einstein handed them a statement that read:  “An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.”

A person’s perspective is the way they see something.  It might be based on experience or personality.  But it doesn’t necessarily mean their perspective is right or wrong.  Putting things in perspective gives you a clearer, more accurate picture of the situation. 

But YOUR perspective may be wildly different from the next person’s.

The best way I know to keep things in perspective is to take a second look, through another person’s eyes.  What is their point of view?  Why is it different from mine?  What would I feel like if I were in their shoes?

We are selfish by nature.  Sometimes we think that our perspective is the only way to look at a situation.  Not true.  Stepping away from your thoughts and feelings, and thinking of the other person’s point of view may broaden your perspective and make you more aware of your actions and their consequences.

Dr. Phil McGraw of TV fame uses the analogy of a pancake.  He says:  “No matter how flat you make a pancake, it’s still got two sides.  One of the greatest limitations we face as human beings is that we look at the world from our own subjective perspective – especially in situations that directly involve us.  Anytime there’s something personal at stake, you’ve got a built-in bias ….  If you can develop the ability to really see through another person’s eyes, you’ll be tapping into an incredibly powerful tool for managing your life.  And it’s a skill you can cultivate – just like flipping a pancake.”

Another approach I use for keeping things in perspective is to search out a third or fourth or fifth party.  I believe three heads are better than two and five heads are better than four.  That’s why I have a “kitchen cabinet” to run things by.  Sometimes you are too close to a situation or don’t have a good feel.  You can often benefit from more advice. 

Of course, one possible result is that you may have to admit that you are wrong.  You may have misjudged a person or a situation.  Don’t let pride and ego get in the way.  Don’t let yourself get too attached to your perspective.  It is better to get things right and learn from the experience.

Keeping things in perspective has a special place at work.  A bad day at the office can easily snowball into a bad week or a bad month, if you allow it.  One defeat can damage confidence, leading to another letdown or a negative outlook.  Be on your guard!  Don’t let one disappointment or failure cloud your perspective.

Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson offers this advice, “When life tells you no, find a way to keep things in perspective.  That doesn’t make the painful moments any less painful.  But it does mean you don’t have to live forever with the pain.  You don’t have to live forever in that no.  Because if you know what you’re capable of, if you’re always prepared, and you keep things in perspective, then life has a way of turning a no into a yes.” 

Mackay’s Moral:  Never underestimate the power of perspective.  It can change everything.

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Kids teach us great lessons

A little girl visited a farm one day and wanted to buy a large watermelon.

The farmer said, “That will be $3.”

“But I’ve only got 30 cents,” said the young girl.

The farmer pointed to a very small watermelon in the field and said, “How about that one?”

“Okay, I’ll take it,” said the little girl.  “But leave it on the vine.  I’ll be back for it in a month.”

Now there’s a young girl who is destined to succeed.

Children teach us many lessons.  For example, kids are more creative and are more imaginative.  Children don’t know what is and isn’t possible.  To them everything is doable.  They don’t have the mental blocks that many adults have and haven’t been curtailed by rules and regulations.

Similarly, kids also dream more and dream bigger.  If they can dream it, children believe they can do it.  They are more ambitious and enthusiastic. 

When I speak to business audiences, one of my messages is to believe in yourself, even when no one else does.  No one does this better than children.  They believe they can do anything and everything. 

Children are fearless.  They don’t fear rejection or what people think of them.  They don’t think about the future.  They are carefree.  Tomorrow is simply another day.

Children start every day anew.  They are not afraid to try new things.  They don’t worry and, possibly most importantly, are happy.  And they strive to do what makes them happy.  Shouldn’t we do the same as adults?  You can be as happy as you decide to be.  It also helps that kids laugh a lot.

Children forgive and forget.  If they get upset they are typically on to something else soon and they forget what was troubling them.  They don’t hold grudges.  It is far better to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.

Children make friends easily.  They understand that the best vitamin for developing friends is B1.

Long gone are the days of “children should be seen and not heard.”  Children of today are not just tech savvy; they are creating apps that will pay their college tuition. 

That’s pretty amazing for a whole sector of society with no control over most areas of their lives.  Someone else is telling them when to eat, sleep and go to school.  They can’t choose their living arrangements, make their own vacation plans, or set their own rules.  They are essentially powerless.  And yet, they manage to survive and thrive.  What are we adults doing wrong?

Perhaps we have set aside the childlike qualities that keep us excited about getting up every morning.  Remedy that problem pronto.  If enthusiasm and creativity are lacking, it might be time to reread some Dr. Seuss.

Children are incredibly perceptive.  They can spot a phony with dizzying speed, and while tact isn’t always among their strongest attributes, their blunt honesty is hard to argue with. 

Let me tell you the story about the father of a very wealthy family who took his son on a trip to the country with the purpose of showing his son how poor people live.  They stayed with a very poor family.  When they returned, the father asked the son what he thought of their trip.

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yeah,” said the son. 

“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered:  “I saw that we have one dog and they had four.  We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.  We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.  Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.  We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.  We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.  We buy our food, but they grow theirs.  We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.” 

The boy’s father was speechless. 

Then his son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are.”

Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing?  Through the eyes of a child, the father learned wisdom beyond the ages. 

Mackay’s Moral:   Kids will be kids, but they can be terrific teachers too.

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For best results, avoid temptation at work

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city and attached the following message to his windshield:  “I have circled this block 10 times.  I have an appointment to keep.  Forgive us our trespasses.”

When he returned to his car he found this reply attached to his own note along with a parking ticket:  “I’ve circled this block for 10 years.  If I don’t give you a ticket, I lose my job.  Lead us not into temptation.”

We are all tempted in many ways.  We want to purchase something, but don’t have the funds.  We know we should exercise, but it’s easier to sit at home and binge watch last season’s episodes.  We want that dessert, but know it’s better if we don’t eat it.

Temptation is a desire to engage in short-term urges for enjoyment, that threatens long-term goals, according to Wikipedia.  In the context of self-control and ego depletion , temptation is described as an immediate, pleasurable urge and/or impulse that disrupts an individual’s ability to wait for the long-term goals, in which that individual hopes to attain.  More informally, temptation may be used to mean “the state of being attracted and enticed” without anything to do with moral, ethical, or ideological valuation.

Temptation is all around us.  For businesses it might be bad-mouthing your competition.  I can’t tell you how many sales people I’ve come across who do this, but it’s a dangerous turn-off for customers.

For example, a co-worker was recently in the market for a new hot tub.  He chose not to go with a specific manufacturer because the sales rep kept bad-mouthing his competition.

Another temptation is to toot your own horn.  I learned many years ago that if you can get someone else to broadcast your accomplishments, the message will go a lot further.  No one likes a shameless self-promoter.

Similarly, I see many companies and individuals putting personal needs ahead of business needs.  Be careful not to overspend because nothing sinks a ship faster than people and companies overspending.

Another huge temptation for companies is expanding too fast.  It’s helpful – perhaps critical – to have a seasoned veteran or two check your lavish plans.  This same plan can be said for new executives coming into companies and doing too much, too soon, too fast.  It’s better to listen and educate yourself before you shake things up too much.

I came across the book, “The Five Temptations of a CEO” by Patrick Lencioni.  He lists the most common pitfalls faced by leaders.  The #1 temptation is choosing status over results.  Many leaders are more interested in protecting their career status than focusing on company results.  Achievement – not ego – should be the driving force. 

The #2 temptation is choosing popularity over accountability.  Leaders need to hold themselves and everyone around them accountable and communicate what is expected of them.  If leaders do this successfully, they will be respected. 

Coming in at #3 is choosing certainty over clarity.  Leaders don’t have the luxury of waiting until they are absolutely certain in making a decision.  There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I was wrong.”  Clarity is usually more important than accuracy.

Choosing harmony over conflict is temptation #4.  Most people don’t want to rock the boat, so they seek harmony.  However, establishing productive conflict is important, and that usually only happens with passionate conversations where people challenge each other. 

Finally, the #5 temptation is choosing invulnerability over trust.  T-R-U-S-T is the most important five-letter word in business.  Without trust you have nothing.  And to trust your employees you must put your careers in the hands of others and be vulnerable.

Face it:  It’s hard to resist temptation.  Sometimes the difference between wanting something and having it is too great.  Sure, once you give in to temptation, you feel better.  But that feeling usually doesn’t last. 

We live in an instant gratification world.  But studies show that people who delay their gratification succeed more in finances, relationships and achievements.

A number of years ago, I had the opportunity to become an owner in an emerging European basketball league.  It was an enormous temptation.  I love basketball, and to be a team owner would have been a dream come true. 

But when it was my turn to commit, I passed.  The other owners were shocked, to say the least.  Sadly, the league folded a year later, and the owners lost millions.  Temptation avoided.  No regrets.

Mackay’s Moral:   When you meet temptation, turn to the right.

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