Harvey MacKay's Blog, page 4

Believe in yourself even when no one else does

Life is not a parabolic curve.  It doesn’t go straight up.  There are a lot of lumps, a lot of bumps.  I have never yet met a successful person that hasn’t had to overcome either a little or a lot of adversity in his or her life.  Overnight success is much more of a myth than reality.

Remember the four-minute mile?  Humans had been trying to do it for centuries, since the days of the ancient Greeks.  They found the old records, how the Greeks tried to accomplish this.  They had wild animals chase the runners, hoping that would make them run faster.  They tried tiger’s milk, not the stuff you get down at the supermarket.  I’m talking about the real thing.  Nothing worked. 

So, the experts decided it was physiologically impossible for a human being to run a mile in four minutes.  Our bone structure is all wrong.  Our wind resistance is too great.  Humans have inadequate lung power.  There were a million reasons – until one day when one human being proved the doctors, the trainers and the athletes all wrong. 

In 1954, Roger Bannister showed the world that it could be done.  Over the next few years, more and more people broke the four-minute mile once they realized that yes, it was possible.

When Bannister passed away in early March of this year, it brought back a lot of memories from that time in history that I remember so well. 

The world was changing a great deal.  People around the world were overcoming the long-perceived physical boundaries of nature.  American pilot Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier in 1947.  And who can forget Sir Edmond Hillary and his Sherpa guide Tenzing Norgay conquering Mount Everest in 1953.

Many famous people have overcome tremendous adversity to triumph:

Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft and one of the richest people in the world, dropped out of school and had his first business fail.
Oprah Winfrey overcame terrible poverty growing up in rural Mississippi to become a billionaire media mogul who has inspired millions around the world.
Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four years old and couldn’t get a job in physics for two years after graduation. 
Richard Branson didn’t let his dyslexia stop him from founding Virgin Group and controlling more than 400 companies.
Popular recording star Jay-Z came from a rough Brooklyn neighborhood but couldn’t get signed to any record labels as a rapper.  In 2013, “Time Magazine,” ranked him as one of the most influential people in the world.
Vincent Van Gogh is considered one of the greatest painters of all time, yet he only sold one painting during his lifetime.
Simon Cowell, star judge from “American Idol” and “The X Factor” had a record company fail.

Botanists say trees need the powerful March winds to flex their trunks and main branches, so that the sap is drawn up to nourish the budding leaves.  Perhaps people need to meet the stresses of life in the same way, though we dislike enduring them.  A stormy period in our lives can be a prelude to a new spring of life and health, success and happiness.  That is if we keep our self-confidence and faith in the future.

Everyone faces adversity, pain, loss and suffering in life.  When you go through those periods, it’s hard to remember that the emotions you’re feeling are only temporary.  The best thing to do is to develop a plan for what you will do when these times hit and find your way to the silver lining – the place where you can feel hopeful again.

You need a personal sense of commitment, the ability to let go when appropriate, and strong values.  Take charge of the things you can control, such as your treatment of others, the way you spend your time outside of work, how you think about yourself, how often you exercise, when and how to share your feelings, how to let others know you’re stressed and how mature you act.

Who says that you can’t accomplish your goals?  Who says that you’re not tougher and better and smarter and harder working and more able than your competition?  It doesn’t matter if they say you can’t do it.  The only thing that matters is if you say it.  So, we all know, if we believe in ourselves, there’s hardly anything that we can’t accomplish.

Mackay’s Moral:   How you handle adversity says a lot about how you will handle success.

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Perseverance pays offs

The popular Academy Award nominated movie “Darkest Hour” has brought a lot of attention to former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill recently.  It’s also brought a lot of attention to Gary Oldman, who won the Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Churchill.

According to biographers, Churchill did not have the happiest of childhoods.  Neglected by his uninterested parents, he was sent to boarding school at a young age where he would write letter after letter pleading for his parents to visit him.  Most of his requests went unanswered, and he ended up spending a succession of holidays alone at school without even the company of classmates.

Churchill would go on to suffer many failures both at school and in his political life, failures that would have defeated most people.  But Churchill kept persevering, overcoming great odds and eventually leading his country in its finest hour.

How did a man with such a difficult upbringing and spotty professional record achieve such greatness? 

The answer may lie in the following story:  In his eighties, Churchill was asked to deliver a commencement address at Harrow, the boarding school he attended as a boy.  He is reported to have stood up at the podium, glared over his glasses, and delivered one of the shortest, yet most inspiring speeches ever given at a graduation ceremony.

“Never give up!  Never give up!  Never give up!” he roared.  Then he sat down to thunderous applause.

What a tremendous lesson in perseverance!

Perseverance separates the winners from the losers.  Those who persevere understand that luck is something only failures believe in.  Perseverance has other names – persistence, determination, a can-do attitude.  Success in life depends on your willingness to never give up, even when the reward is delayed. 

One of my guilty pleasures is that I occasionally stop at McDonald’s for a hamburger and a caramel sundae.   The phenomenal success of the Golden Arches franchise is evident throughout the world.  How was such a dynasty built?  Why is Ronald McDonald a household name?  The answer rests in the motto adopted by its founder, Ray Kroc.  It simply reads, “Press On.”

As U.S. President Calvin Coolidge said:  “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.  Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

In my line of work – sales – persistence takes on a special meaning.  Somewhere between throwing in the towel and being a pest, you might find wisdom in this Code of Persistence for salespeople developed by Herman Sherman.  Resolve to:

Never give up so long as you know you are right.

Believe all things will work out if you hang on until the end.

Remain courageous and confident when the odds turn against you.

Never permit anyone to intimidate you or shake your belief in yourself.

Fight to overcome any physical handicaps and setbacks.

Try again and again, and yet again, to reach your dreams.

Take new faith and resolve from the knowledge that many successful men and women have had to fight defeat and adversity to achieve their greatness.

A few generations ago Susan B. Anthony was both a revered and despised political figure.  In the late 1800s she tirelessly fought for a woman’s right to vote, a law that was not enacted until several years after her death.  American women have only been able to vote since 1920.

At that time, the majority opinion was that women need not vote or be equal to men, and that anyone trying to change the status quo was simply a troublemaker.  Still, Anthony soldiered on, and eventually earned a tremendous following.  At a reception given in honor of her work, she was inundated with bouquets of flowers.  Recalling her early years in politics, she commented, “They threw things at me then – and they were not roses.”

Shortly before her death, she was asked if she was happy about how her life had played out.  She said yes, she would do it all over again.  “The spirit is willing yet; I feel the same desire to do the work, but the flesh is weak.  It’s too bad that our bodies wear out while our interests are just as strong as ever.”

Susan B. Anthony serves as an inspiration that one person can accomplish greatness through perseverance.

Mackay’s Moral:   Triumph is just the “ump” beyond “try.”

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Billy Graham – the best salesperson I ever met

Harvey Mackay(left) with George Wilson(center) and Billy Graham

Other ministers told funnier jokes than Billy Graham, did a better job of illustrating Bible passages and organizing sermons, but no one was more effective than Graham in getting people to step forward in front of the congregation and make a commitment. 

Translated from evangelism, that is what I call closing the sale.  It’s no wonder since he started his career as a Fuller Brush salesman.

The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA), which was headquartered in Minneapolis, was instrumental in helping me get started in the envelope manufacturing business in the 1960s.  No one I’ve ever done business with has ever cared about me the way the Billy Graham organization did.  And I’m Jewish.  They were one of the largest envelope users in the country and were one of my biggest customers until they moved their headquarters to North Carolina 40 years later.

The BGEA earned loyalty that no amount of money could buy.  They recognized a business principle that is so elementary – If you expect the other person to care about you, show that you care about them.  It’s the Golden Rule of business.  Because of this relationship, the BGEA got the best quality, the best delivery and the best prices.  They paid promptly, many times before I even shipped the product – absolutely unheard of in the envelope business. 

No wonder I was proud to call Billy Graham a friend.  Billy even honored me by providing an endorsement for my first book, “Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.”

Graham’s personal qualities set him far apart from other evangelists.  He was a man of utmost integrity and concern for people.  He was always quick to point out that he was just one member of a team.

How true!  Billy was the quintessential Mr. Outside.  He embodied the image of the organization, both to the outside world and to the people who work at BGEA.  The late George Wilson was Mr. Inside.  George passed away in 1999, and I was privileged to be asked to eulogize George, along with Billy.  While Billy provided the inspiration for the BGEA,

George kept the place humming.  As Mr. Inside, George was low-profile, low-key, tireless, with an eye for talent and detail.

Most organizations need both these talents – the salesperson who brings in the business and the manager who knows what to do with it.  Surprisingly many businesses don’t understand this or that those two talents seldom are found in the same person.  Selling is not a function of grandiose personalities and paraphernalia. 

For decades, Billy Graham was on a list of the 10 most respected Americans.  He maintained his status and high visibility by sticking to the qualities that got him there – sincerity and moral integrity.  While others in his profession succumbed to the “holy wars,” Graham kept getting stronger because he was a class act.

His reputation was his greatest asset.  Not product, not price, not service.  Everything flows from reputation – closing the sale, customer loyalty and referrals.  Billy was a big believer in being the best.  If they did that, his organization would be first.

One of the stories that I think illustrates the real Billy Graham involved an incident that occurred while he was at a dinner with some staff members.  When the server recognized Billy, she dropped her tray, scattering dishes all over the place.  Graham immediately leaped up and helped her clean up the mess.

This was a perfect example of the humanity for which he was so famous.  How many of us would reach out to another person and help her through such an embarrassing moment?  Billy Graham’s act defined good manners and consideration for the feelings of others.

Networking is one of my passions, and there were few better at networking than Billy Graham.  Networking is not necessarily a numbers game.  The idea is not to see how many people you can meet; the idea is to compile a list of people you can count on.

When you encountered Billy at a function, he made you feel like you were the most important person in the room.  He made eye contact and kept it.  He smiled.  He listened.  He asked questions or made comments that showed he was interested in what you had to say.

Whether or not you agreed with his message, there was no question that Billy Graham was an icon for all that is good and right in this world. 

Mackay’s Moral:   Billy Graham was a master communicator, but more than that, a master of humanity.

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Let it go

Joe paced back and forth in his sister’s kitchen one Sunday before dinner.  His sister Carol recognized the worried look on his face and called him over to where she stood next to the sink.

“Hey Joe, can you hold on to this for me?”  She handed him a can of vegetable scraps.

Joe took the can and walked outside where he threw the scraps in the compost bin before returning to the kitchen.

“Why did you toss my scraps?  I asked you to hold on to them.”

“Why would you ask me to hold onto garbage?” Joe asked.

“I thought you liked holding on to useless things,” she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been wearing a path on my kitchen floor, preoccupied with whatever is on your mind.  I doubt if you heard anything I said to you before now, yet you instinctively tossed the compost scraps without giving them a second thought.”

He had to admit that Carol was right.  “But is there a point to this?” he asked.

Carol offered him a simple suggestion:  “Why don’t you apply that same logic to whatever is bothering you?  If it’s something you can change, change it.  If it’s something you can’t change, let it go.”

Holding on to things that are eating at you is not just unproductive; it’s a recipe for disaster.  In other words, throw out those scraps before they start to smell.

Carol’s advice is golden.  Her words are especially appropriate for managers who have so little confidence in their staffs that it affects their job performance.

Are you a micromanager?  A second-guesser?  If you are, you need to stop.  This is not a healthy way to manage people – for yourself or other employees.

As a manager, you need to look at your need to control.  Are you trying to get your employees to do things the way you do them because you think your way is superior?  This is a dangerous mindset for a manager because you are not looking ahead to the outcome but are getting caught up in controlling the process, according to Johanna Rothman on the Rothman Consulting website.  Is that what you really want to do?  Is it productive?

Many managers micromanage as a form of quality control.  These managers often find themselves working unbelievably long hours in order to redo the work of others.  If you’re always swamped with work and you just can’t seem to let others take a piece of the responsibility pie – then you’ve got a problem.

Not trusting your staff is essentially the same as not trusting yourself to manage them effectively.

Learning to trust your staff and allowing them to make mistakes is part of being a mature manager.  Many managers believe that it is a virtue to make every decision along the way – to control every detail of, well, everything.  But the truth is, a good manager helps make sure that her direct reports keep the flow of work going.  A good manager is more interested in the growth of his direct reports and the eventual positive and freeing workplace that can be developed when they are operating as autonomously as possible.

To improve your ability to manage, you will need to let go of your need to control quality at every stop.  This does not mean you sacrifice quality.  It simply means you are not the quality control traffic cop.  You are a manager, and that means you assist people in being able to do their jobs.  You don’t block their ability to do it by second guessing, redoing work and spending long hours in the office.  You give them the tools to do their jobs correctly and with the best possible results.

Letting go is not always simple.  But don’t let worrying about what you might lose when you let go change your resolve.  Consider the lesson this little fellow learned. 

A little boy was playing one day with a very valuable vase.  When he put his hand inside it and couldn’t pull it back out, he called for his mother.  His mother tried gently to slide his hand free, but it remained stuck.

She was ready to break the vase when she said, “Ok, let’s try one more time.  Open your hand and hold your fingers straight out and then pull.”

“Oh, no, mommy!” the boy cried.  “If I do that I’ll drop my quarter!”

Mackay’s Moral:   Worry is wasting today’s time to clutter up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.

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Finding your purpose is like a treasure hunt

I had the pleasure of attending the Super Bowl in my home state of Minnesota in February along with many of the parties and events leading up to the big game.  One of my favorites is Taste of the NFL, which made its debut in 1992 when Minneapolis first hosted the Super Bowl.

My friend Wayne Kostroski, a successful Minneapolis restauranteur, started Taste of the NFL to address the needs of the hungry and homeless by raising awareness and money through programs and special events.  Wayne saw the opportunity to use the world stage to help those who could not be part of the Super Bowl festivities.  Through his masterful persuasion, he initiated one of the most anticipated, most delicious annual events of the big week. 

Chefs and players from all 32 NFL cities donate their skills for a party that raises big bucks to help kick hunger, which affects one out of six people in our country.  The beneficiaries are the Feeding America affiliated food banks in each of the NFL team cities, as well as other hunger relief organizations.  More than $25 million has been raised over the last 26 years, more than $1 million again this year.

There are plenty of parties during Super Bowl week.  But this one is different.  That’s why Wayne calls it “A party with a purpose.” 

Everyone needs a purpose in life.  Mine is helping people through business advice from my books, speeches, as well as this nationally syndicated column.  Many people have asked me over the years – and especially the sales reps at our envelope manufacturing company – why I share many success secrets.  My answer is always the same:  I’m happy to offer guidance on business principles and achieving success.  I am grateful to those who mentored me, and I have made it my purpose to help people reach their potential.

Oprah Winfrey, a fellow member of the Horatio Alger Association, said, “Follow your passion.  It will lead to your purpose.”

To discover your true purpose in life – not your job or your goals – you’ll just need 20 minutes, says personal growth specialist Steve Pavlina.  What he’s talking about, he says, is answering the question of why you are here on the planet.

Pavlina learned about finding purpose in a pretty dramatic way.  When he was 19 he found himself in jail for felony grand theft.  When he got out of jail he found he had been kicked out of school.  Then, he says, something clicked.  He woke up and grew up instead of giving up.  He took responsibility for his actions, and he’s not in jail or living a life of crime.  Instead, he’s helping others find their way to more meaningful lives.

To find your purpose here’s what he says to do:   write or type the question, “What is my purpose in life?”  Then write whatever pops into your head.  Repeat this process – keep writing answers – until you hit one that raises your emotion.  You’ll know when you’ve got it, he says.

Life coach Shannon Kaiser has another approach:  You can’t think your way into finding your life purpose; you have to do your way into it.  “The more we act, the more we get clear on things,” she explains.  “So start taking steps toward your goals and start trying new things . . . .  The experience is the reward; clarity comes through the process of exploring.  Action is where you get results.

“Let go of thinking there is only one purpose for you and embrace the idea that our purpose in life is to love life fully,” Kaiser said.  “When we live a passion-filled life we are living on purpose, and that is the purpose of life.”

People with a strong sense of purpose know what they want, why they want it, and how they plan to achieve it.  Purpose-driven people get in the habit of doing things they don’t like to do in order to accomplish the purpose they have defined for themselves. 

Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel made a fortune inventing powerful explosives and marketing them to governments for weapons development.  But when a newspaper accidentally ran his obituary instead of his late brother’s, he was concerned that he would be remembered as the man who created methods of death and destruction. 

So he set out to find his real purpose.  He established the Nobel Prizes to reward accomplishments in the arts and sciences that would benefit humanity.   

Mackay’s Moral:   A life with a purpose is a life full of promise.

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Street Smarts put you in the fast lane

I’m back with another installment of street smarts, those skills that go beyond what is taught in school – the lessons we learn by experience and practice.  Never underestimate the value and importance of “extracurricular” education.

First idea:  Don’t be afraid to make a decision.  Be afraid NOT to make a decision.  Good judgment is a critically important skill for any person to have, but especially for those in leadership positions.  Good judgment is such an important attribute that it is often listed first by employers as required qualities of job applicants.

In business, the success or failure of the organization hinges on judgments made at all levels.  Good judgment is the ability to make the best decision possible based on the information you have, without being swayed by others or predetermined ideas.

What kind of a decision-maker are you?  Take a few minutes to contemplate the question, because once you become aware of how you make (or don’t make) decisions, you will be more apt to make wiser choices in the future.

Next idea:  Never make a decision until you have to.  Always bargain for more time to postpone doom.   Things can change over time.

For example, there once was a king who was trying to find someone who could teach his horse to fly.  As the king was conducting court one day, two guards dragged in a beggar who had just stolen a loaf of bread. 

The king said, “Take him away and chop his head off!”  As he was being dragged away, he said, “But my king, my king, I can teach your horse to fly.  Just give me two years.”

“Granted,” the king said.

As the beggar is being carted out, a guard quizzically asks him, “Why did you promise that?”

“Look … In two years, I may be dead.  The king may be dead.  Or who knows, maybe I can teach the horse to fly!”

Next idea:  Practice the rule of ten thousand.  This rule helps determine whether something can’t be done or whether someone doesn’t care enough to get it done.

The Rule of Ten Thousand says, “If I give you an extra $10,000 to get to work by 8 a.m. every work day for six months straight, can you do it?”  Watch how fast the obstacles disappear, contingencies are set up, departure time from home is earlier and so on. 

You don’t necessarily give people $10,000, but it’s a good way to see if something is possible.

Next idea:  Always put the pressure on yourself and tell everyone what your goals are.  I do this with all kinds of projects.  It’s great motivation.

Next idea:  You can take any amount of pain, as long as you know it will end.  For example, I was running the Twin Cities Marathon several years back and a woman stopped me with two miles to go and said she wasn’t sure she could finish.  She said, “Mr. Mackay, motivate me!”  I gave her this lesson on pain as we ran side-by-side.

Next idea:  It’s not the people you fire who make your life miserable … it’s the people you don’t fire who make your life miserable.  And whenever I say that I get more amens than a Billy Graham sermon. 

Next idea:  Maximize your education dollars.  When your company sends its people to conferences, make sure you get maximum value.  At our company, we insist that our people come back from conferences and teach the rest of the staff what they learned.  This way we get a terrific return on our investment. 

Next idea:  Never give an ultimatum unless you mean it.  A close friend shared this story of a high stakes negotiation.  He’s living in Minnesota and wanted desperately to buy one of his competitors in Los Angeles.  He had information that whatever his bid was, the owners had a local businessman who would bid for the business as a wedge to get the price up. 

There was a summit conference call with the six owners plus my friend to negotiate and finalize a price.  Then came the knockout blow.  My friend bid 15-20% more for the company than his previous proposal, but his new offer was on the table during the call only.  They either accept it or they don’t.  The offer was so good the owners decided to take it.  They weren’t going to chance it on their friend matching it.

Mackay’s Moral:  Use your street smarts to outsmart your competition.

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Look for these traits in successful team players

It was a cold winter.  The hedgehogs, realizing the situation, decided to bunch together to keep warm.  However, the quills from each hedgehog pierced their next-door neighbors, so they decided to move apart.  But then they started to freeze and die alone, so they made the decision to cuddle back together and live with the little piercings caused by the close connection with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the group.  This allowed them to survive.

And that, my friends, is the perfect definition of teamwork.

No team is composed entirely of perfect people.  Whether you’re a superstar or a benchwarmer, you are an important member of the team. 

Individuals working together as a group make a team successful.  The success of any team – be it in sports or in business – is dependent on every person working toward a common goal.  The role of every team member, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is valuable to the team’s overall success.  Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally; it comes from what you do consistently.

Andrew Carnegie, business magnate and philanthropist who led the expansion of the American steel industry in the late 19th century and often identified as one of the richest people ever, said:  “Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision, the ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives.  It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.” 

Do you think he knew about hedgehogs?

Helen Keller said, “Alone, we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

That’s hedgehog talk if I’ve ever heard it!

I always get a kick out of when someone refers to someone else as a self-made man or woman.  Let me tell you, there is no such thing.  No one reaches their goals without the help of many others.

As Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, said, “Great things in business are never done by one person.  They are done by a team of people.”

Michael Jordan said, “There is no “i” in team but there is in win.”

Whether you’re forming a fully self-directed work team or leading a group that just needs to collaborate effectively, you must recruit the right people.  Keep your eyes open for these abilities and traits:

Willingness to contribute.  Is the person ready to put the team’s goals first?  This doesn’t mean ignoring personal needs, but it does mean that team members must put their primary energy into contributing to the team so they can share in its success.


Acceptance of roles.  People on a team have specific jobs, tasks and roles.  Although they should be willing to stretch themselves, they won’t be effective or helpful if they insist on going outside the boundaries of what the team needs from them.


Eagerness to assist.  On a team, no one can back off and say, “That’s not my job.”  Look for people with a track record of pitching in to help wherever they’re needed as situations call for it.


Identification with the group.  Effective team members take pride from their association with the group.  Find out what other teams, task forces, and committees a potential team member has worked on.  How does he or she describe the experience?


Responsible attitude.  Everyone’s eager to share credit. Is your team made up of people willing to accept responsibility for failure?  Look for people who can be honest about their mistakes and willing to learn from experience.

Perhaps the best example of teamwork I’ve ever heard of is one I share with my audiences whenever I give a speech.  It’s about mules, not hedgehogs, but the message is every bit as effective.

A salesman is driving on a two-lane country road in a rainstorm and gets stuck in a ditch.  He asks a farmer for help.  The farmer hitches up Elmo, his blind mule, to the salesman’s car and hollers out, “Pull Sam, pull!”  Nothing happens.  He then yells, “Pull Bessie, pull.”  Still nothing.  “Pull Jackson, pull.”  Still nothing.  Finally he hollers, “Pull Elmo, pull.”  And Elmo rips the car right out of the ditch.

The driver is confused and says, “I don’t understand.  Why did you have to call out all those different names?”

“Look, if he didn’t think he had any help, he wouldn’t even try!”

Mackay’s Moral:   For a winning team, recruit hedgehogs, not attention hogs

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Rudeness is contagious in the workplace

Germs can run rampant in a workplace, but so can another problem.  Researchers at the University of Florida, presenting their findings in the “Journal of Psychology,” say that rudeness can be contagious.

The researchers followed 90 graduate business students as they practiced negotiation techniques over seven weeks, switching partners several times.  Students who described a partner as rude were more likely to be considered rude themselves by subsequent partners more often than those who negotiated with people they felt were polite.  The researchers theorize that this suggests that experiencing rudeness may make people more inclined to engage in it themselves.

Do your best to stay polite and courteous all the times, and you may be able to stop an epidemic in your organization.

Workplace rudeness can be a serious problem.  It can bring down morale and lead to lost productivity.  Rudeness doesn’t just affect work; it can lead to lost customers. 

A study by the University of North Carolina (UNC) shows that 94 percent of the 775 people surveyed told someone else about their encounters with rude co-workers.  Those “someone elses” included peers, supervisors and even people they managed.

What kind of encounters caused such loss in productivity?  A few examples of rude behavior included:  nasty and demeaning notes, accusations about lacking knowledge, name-calling and challenging credibility in front of others.

The study concluded that employees spent more time disgruntled or worrying about the rude person and less time concentrating on their work.  These stats from the UNC survey support that conclusion:

28 percent lost work time avoiding the rude person.


58 percent lost work time worrying about the encounter or possible future interactions.


37 percent reduced their commitment to the organization.


22 percent decreased their effort at work.


10 percent decreased the amount of time they spent at work.


46 percent contemplated changing jobs to avoid the rude person.


12 percent changed jobs to avoid the rude person.

This is why it is essential to squash rude behavior the minute it rears its ugly head.  Granted, the workplace is not always the easiest place in the world to get along with others. However, it is important to feel respected by others in the workplace.  This kind of healthy atmosphere almost always will increase productivity.

Here are some tips from the Mayo Clinic on how to deal with a co-worker who is rude to you:

Hold your tongue.  Take some time to cool off if someone is rude to you.  Don’t spout off something you will be sorry to have said later.  Don’t be sarcastic.  When someone says something rude to you, repeat it back to them in your own words and ask the person if that is what he or she is trying to say. 


Be direct.  Very calmly tell the other person how his or her comments or behaviors have made you feel.  Make your co-worker aware that it’s a problem for you.


Tell the person whose behavior is bothering you about it – not other people in the office.  Directing your comments to the person is the mature, adult way of handling the matter.  No one likes to be criticized publicly, especially before the person with the problem has let him or her know personally.


Find a solution.  Ask the person who was rude to you to help you solve the problem.  Ask for his or her ideas about the problem and what to do about it.


If nothing else helps, then go to your supervisor.  If you’ve truly run out of ideas of how to solve the problem, or if your co-worker is uncooperative, let your supervisor know.  He or she may know how to handle the situation or have experience dealing with similar problems in the past.

And speaking of supervisors, a study by the University of Florida found that even the best employees can become negative at work if they think their bosses have treated them with rudeness or are mean-spirited.  That means gossiping, pilfering, backstabbing and long lunch breaks can become the norm.

Managers have to set the tone, starting with the way they treat employees.  Management training needs to include an emphasis on treating employees with respect and refusing to accept rude behavior in the workplace.

Want to boil it down to a simple phrase?  Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

Mackay’s Moral:   Common courtesy should never be an uncommon practice.

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The wisdom of Bruce Halle

I often use the expression – One person can make all the difference in the world.

That adage certainly applied to my friend Bruce Halle who recently passed away.  Bruce was the founder of Discount Tire, the nation’s largest tire and wheel retailer with 975 stores in 34 states and more than 20,000 employees.

He truly was a self-made man, working as a paperboy as I did, and even being a gravedigger to support his family.  He tried selling life insurance before he opened his first tire store in 1960 in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  He was the sole employee.  His original inventory consisted of two new tires and four retreads.  Like many entrepreneurs, Bruce did everything from cleaning toilets to painting signs.

The company grew at record speed because of Bruce’s leadership and his three-pronged approach – provide reasonable prices, tremendous customer service and guarantee satisfaction.  He believed that happy employees make happy customers.  He taught his employees to live by the credo:  Treat others the way you would want to be treated. 

I’d like to focus on one of Bruce’s quotes and provide you with my thoughts:  “There are really just five simple lessons to life:  Be honest, work hard, have fun, be grateful and pay it forward.”

Honesty

Tell the truth at all times to build solid relationships.  Your word has to be your bond.  Complete honesty in little things is not a little thing at all.

Honesty, ethics, integrity, values, morals – all mean the same thing.  In my estimation, you can interchange them, because they all convey the single attribute that determines whether a person or an organization can be trusted. 

Work Hard

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.  There is no magic formula for being a success.  It takes hard work.  Hard work is not a bad thing.  Sure, natural talent can make a big difference.  But show me a natural .300 hitter in Major League Baseball, and I’ll show you someone who bangs the ball until their hands bleed trying to keep that stroke honed.  Ask any surgeon about how much sleep they got for the eight to 10 years it took them to get through medical school, internship and residency.  Ask any concert pianist how much practice it takes to perform a 40-minute piano concerto from memory.  All these gigs take more than magic hands.  It takes iron determination and lots of hard, hard work.  The harder you work, the luckier you’ll get.

Have fun

Business and fun are not polar opposites.  In fact, another piece of advice that I share frequently is “Do what you love, love what you do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”  Adopt a TGIM attitude – Thank God It’s Monday.  A positive work environment encourages fun.  Quite often, those are the most successful enterprises as well.

Be grateful

Gratitude should be a continuous attitude.   It’s very disheartening to see a decline in the use of “thank you” by so many.  When I hold doors open for people, I seldom hear a thank you.  When I go shopping and buy something, I’m usually the one saying thank you for serving me!

For a while, I thought it was just me, being overly sensitive.  But a few years ago I was watching the “Late Show with David Letterman” and heard about a man who went into a store looking for an item.  He found no one to help.  The clerks were disinterested at best, rude at worst.  After much searching, he finally found the item himself.  At the checkout counter he found a long line of people and a clerk who definitely worked only at her own speed.  Finally he paid for his item, and the clerk threw it into a plastic bag and shoved his change at him.

The man had to say something, so he asked the cashier, “Can’t you even say thank you?”

And the cashier said, “It’s printed on your receipt.”

Pay it forward

When you have the opportunity to do something kind or helpful for someone who doesn’t expect it, take it!  It’s even better when the recipient doesn’t know who is responsible.  We all have enough time and resources to lend a hand.  You might even make someone’s day.

Thanks for sharing your lessons, Bruce.  We will sorely miss you.

Mackay’s Moral:  Never discount the importance of honesty and hard work.

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A smile adds face value

Readers of this column know that I am a big fan of Dale Carnegie, the master of making friends.  I carry a poem from one of his books with me and often share it when I am speaking to groups.  It’s called “The Value of a Smile,” and I hope you learn as much from it as I have.

“It costs nothing, but creates much.  It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.  It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.  None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.

“It creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in a business, and is the countersign of friends.  It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and natures best antidote for trouble.

“Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anyone ’til it is given away.  And if in the hurly-burly bustle of today’s business world, some of the people you meet should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours?

“For nobody needs a smile so much, as those who have none left to give.”

I learned years ago that one of the most powerful things you can do to have influence with others is to smile at them.  Never underestimate the value of a smile.  The person who is smart enough to keep smiling usually winds up with something good enough to smile about.

People all over the world smile in the same language.  A smile should be standard equipment for all people, both at work and at home.  It takes only 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown – so really, you have no excuse.  Put on a happy face!

Smiling adds face value and helps you make a good impression.  We like people who smile, because they appear warm and kind.  They are more approachable.

Smiling encourages trust.  People who are constantly smiling appear to be more trustful than those who are not.

People who smile are more productive.  A 2010 study by Andrew Oswald, a professor of economics at Warwick Business School over in England, proved that employees who smile more often are significantly more productive and creative in the workplace.

Smiling makes you more creative.  A 2013 study from the University of California, San Francisco, explored this connection in men and found that those who were happier had a more comprehensive approach to problems, improving their ability to think of more solutions than their negative-minded counterparts.  The researchers connected this finding to the release of dopamine triggered by happiness, since the neurotransmitter is involved in learning, processing and decision-making.

Smiling enhances your disposition.  The more you smile, the happier you are.  And don’t forget that the more you smile, the happier other people around you feel. 

Smiling makes you more attractive.  A smile is a very inexpensive way to improve your looks.  People are naturally attracted to people who smile.

Smiling improves health.  Studies have proven that when people smile, endorphins are released making people feel happy and less stressed.  The more you smile, the happier and more relaxed you get.  Surprisingly, this also works when faking a smile or laugh, as the brain can’t differentiate between real or fake smiles. 

Endorphins also act as natural pain killers.  The added oxygen from smiling and laughing benefits your body while improving your immune system.  Smiling releases more white blood cells, which protect the body against infectious diseases.

In a 2012 study published in the journal Psychological Science, University of Kansas psychological scientists Tara Kraft and Sarah Pressman studied 170 participants who were told to hold chopsticks in their mouths in three formations, making them smile to various degrees without realizing it, after performing a stressful task. The experiment revealed that subjects who smiled the biggest with the chopsticks experienced a substantial reduction in heart rate and quicker stress recovery compared to those whose expressions remained neutral.

Finally, smiles are contagious, just like yawns.  So smile and start an epidemic.  Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.  That’s why you should not only smile from “ear to ear” but from “year to year.”

Mackay’s Moral:   Smiles never go up in price nor down in value.

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