Barbara S. Stewart's Blog, page 4

Thoughts to share…

Greetings all,

I’ve been cleaning out our office (this is a HUGE undertaking and we aren’t done yet!). I’ve scanned a bunch of pics and added them to Facebook, and have enjoyed all the comments. As I went through a box of pics I was overcome with memories…

It was a box that I’d packed when my mom died and didn’t have a chance to go through – all these years later, I pulled that box out. School pictures, cards, her work ID, newspaper clippings from things in our past… and a love letter from my dad to celebrate their 26th anniversary. Spiral notebook, lined paper with words from my dad’s heart. I felt the love. I knew they loved each other, but this was special and I will treasure it always. He ended it with an expression that I have used in my books – not knowing they were his words too.

“I love you always, all ways”

That one piece of paper made the bags and boxes I’ve been going through worth every moment it took to get there.

If you’re reading this, I

Lulu’s Loves

Greetings all,

Just a few words this morning. If you are my friend on Facebook, you know that I’m working on a new book. The title will be Lulu’s Loves.

It’s a journey through her life and each ‘love’ that she experiences. Some will be life long loves and some will be only blips of time that pass. In the end she will know all of her WHATS, WHERES, WHYS, and mostly WHOS.

This is a section that I wanted to share.

If you’re reading this…

I

“I realized tonight that what happened with us was part of growing. It was part of learning. It was part of us that we didn’t handle the best way we could. This is us getting a second chance – a chance to wake every day with a new opportunity to get it right. I want you to make love to me because I need you.”

No date yet – stay tuned

Her name was Marilee

 

Good morning,

I posted on Facebook yesterday that I was on a cleaning mission. I went through more than a dozen picture albums from the last forty years, laughing at hairstyles, and old memories.

Some of the pictures made me cry thinking of my mom, dad grandparents… And this lovely lady. Her name was Marilee. You need to know that she was fun. You need to know that she had a good heart, and you need to know that she is gone. This was in 1992/93 timeframe – I didn’t write the date on the back. Her story stayed with me and I was glad I found the picture so I could tell you about her.

 

She loved being outside. She loved the sun and sadly, SHE is the one who gave me the story of Bethy’s mole. Marilee had a mole on her bottom that was melanoma. It spread to her liver. She was my muse when Bethy got sick. (She isn’t the face of Bethy – Kiera Knightly got that honor

 

Anyway, I found this pic and I wanted you to know Marilee…

 

If you’re reading this, I

Time…

Good morning to you…

Yesterday was a day of reflection. The morning began with talk of time in our morning huddle where we gather to talk about all things work before we begin the day. Once a month or so we have to do it earlier than usual because of a meeting that follows. On those early Fridays the group is considerably smaller. We always begin with a prayer or words of encouragement of some kind. It started with just the idea that time is precious and it seems that the more of it that passes the faster it goes. And then the talk drifted to LIVING in the time that we have. It was good. It was good to share and hear others talk about time.

When I taught Weight Watchers and someone would say that didn’t have time – to prepare meals or exercise or whatever – I’d tell them that sometimes you have to MAKE TIME. We’re all busy. We all have too many things going on at once, but if it’s important enough there will be time. I admit that I’m not good at time management. But I try to make time for what’s important. I don’t make enough time for myself sometimes, but I’m working on that.

Last night I realized that I don’t always make enough time for family and friends. Gene and I love to sit on the back porch and have happy hour. Our view of the lake is so nice and it was pleasant enough (temp) that we had dinner out there and we talked. I always love this time with him. I guess the talk about time made me emotional and we were talking about my mom. I posted previously that (9 years ago) her brother died of cancer and eighteen days later my mom passed away, and if you know me, you know that butterflies are of great significance to me since that time. As Gene and I were talking two yellow butterflies flitted past the porch. I posted that on facebook with a pic of my mom and her brother, and a moment later my phone rang. My cousin (whose dad was my mom’s brother) called and we talked for almost an hour. I haven’t seen her in too long and I realized that it’s bad because she’s not that far away – an hour or so, but because we’re busy we haven’t figured out how to make that work. It’ll be a priority now…

So now that I’ve rambled on…

MAKE TIME. Make time for yourself. Make time for your family. Make time for your friends. Learn the work/life balance and make time to do what you need to do so that you aren’t scrambling trying to do what you HAVE TO DO. Tomorrow isn’t a day of the week and it’s not promised…

If you are reading this.. I

 

It’s too early…

OK – it has a title…

Lulu’s Loves

It’s keeping me awake, so I had to share. I don’t know if it’s the same for other writers, but when my characters talk to me, I can’t sleep. This one will be different for me – more on that later… but Lulu’s loves are talking to me.

She’s a woman now, but the story starts with her younger life and progresses through learning love, how to love and how to let go, and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it. She’s learning about Lulu too.

We’ve all bee through Lulu’s Loves in some way – our journey may be different, but we’ve all had a journey becoming the women (and men) that we are…

Stay tuned!

A new day…

Thank you to whomever it was that created this (TAG YOURSELF PLEASE, because, apologetically, I can’t remember who created this!)

Yesterday I was walking down the hall at work and one of my coworkers said “Barbara! You made me cry last night!”

All I asked in reply… “Where are you in the book?” (I knew she was reading RRNF)

“60%”

my reply… “You’re not done.”

ha ha ha!

This book… I still can’t believe THIS BOOK brought me to THIS TODAY. Thank you for finding it. Thank you for reading it. THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT…

August 27th is the Third Anniversary of it’s release and I am planning on something SPECIAL, but it will only be through THIS PAGE. I’ll share on my FB page, but it’ll only be through the blog, so….

PAY ATTENTION!

If you’re reading this… I

B

 

 

In the quiet of morning…

I love this time of day – it’s (usually) quiet. This morning Cali is rambunctious – part of why I’m up this early on this specific Saturday  She has this stuffed chicken (that I recently found under something from when Kooky was alive) that she loves. I wonder sometimes if it’s because of Kooky

I have a heavy heart this week. Sometimes a moment brings a memory that opens the dam to a flood of emotions. That happened twice this week. I didn’t like it either time – the flood forces you to stop and think about something you may not want to remember – to push back feelings you don’t want to feel.  As I write this now, I think this post is going to help Lulu along her journey – that’s how my stories happen; something in my life gives me an in…

Without giving much detail (because I can’t) I’ll tell you that yesterday I had to sit down with someone to talk about what they NEEDED to do for their father. Our hearts are so selfish sometimes that we can’t see the big picture. We see what we want to see, and we don’t want to see (or think about) losing anyone. They were looking for help for his future… they already knew the answer, someone (more than one someone) else had told them what they needed to do, but their selfish heart made them keep searching.

It’s hard to think about going forward without someone who means so much to you. I know – most of you do too. And this is a hard time in my life for this to have happened. Nine years ago this week, my uncle (my mom’s brother) passed away from cancer. Eighteen days later, my mom passed away. Another memory earlier in the week already had that ‘anniversary’ in my mind, and then this meeting brought it forefront and I couldn’t push it aside anymore. So I drew from those emotions…

I listened as two sisters cried telling me their hopes. I listened. They were so emotional that I had a hard time holding it together. One was more rational, the other was a mess. I listened. I explained my work response to their situation, and then they asked what I would do.

I prayed.

So I told them. Now, all I can do is pray that they do what’s right for their father. They told me (and I will cherish these words) that they appreciated my honesty and compassion. Honesty and compassion… Maybe the words I spoke were the ones they needed to hear. I hope that I never have to do that again – in my personal or professional life – but if I do I will speak from my heart.

If I can give YOU one gift from this post today I will tell you to get your things in order. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Know what you want. Know what your loved ones want. Know your plan going forward whether you’re forty, sixty, or eighty – let someone know so you aren’t scrambling trying to figure it out when it’s too late and running on emotions. No one wants to think about that, but it’s going to happen. Do what’s right for them… ASK THEM. Sit down and do this. Do it together. Sit down with your parents and do it.

https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php

I didn’t mean this post to be a downer – it’s what’s in my heart.

If you’re reading this, I love you… B

Sunday thoughts…

Good morning friends!

I am blessed. I woke up and words have poured from my fingers (for days actually). I have a character in my head named Lulu and she has given me a story – keeping my brain running 90MPH most days.

So I decided that today I will share blessings and POSITIVE thoughts. Feel free to add yours in a comment .

1) Gene is finally starting to feel a little better.

2) We went out to dinner with the Jax Fam and had the best tacos (out) that we’ve had in a while. TacoLu in Jacksonville is AWESOME!

3) I’m glad I didn’t have “one more” margarita.

4) I woke up with a git’r’done attitude

5) I will look at the trip to Walmart as “these items are cheaper here” and not – OMG I HATE THAT PLACE

6) I will leave there and go to the grocery store that I like where I can rack up $$ off at the gas pump! After today I should have .60 cents off at the pump!

7) I will buy healthy foods because…

8) Monday August 3rd, 2015 (that’s a SPECIFIC GOAL!) I will begin to challenge myself to lose these last 10 (maybe 12 now) pounds

9) I will ride the (stationary) bike and catch up on Bones – I need to get through this season so I can go back and pick up with Orange is the New Black or… House of Cards  – which one do you thinK?

10) I will enjoy this day with Gene…

I could go on, but Lulu is nagging me to continue writing for a bit.

If you’re reading this – I

POSITIVE VIBES AND BLESSINGS!  B

 

You’ve got a friend in me…

Hello friends,

I don’t use that word lightly – since I started this page I think of each of you as a friend. Some of you interact with messages that warm my heart. Some send me personal messages that bring tears to my eyes because you trust me with your thoughts.

I haven’t written ANYTHING in a few days… Vacation first, and then some personal things that have kept me tied up and preoccupied. Tonight I have something to say. I’ll be posting this on the website also – barbarastewartwrites.com – you may want to go follow or bookmark that page if you like being part of this journey. More on that in a few minutes…

I’m a work in progress – As a writer and as a person. I was suggested a book to read to help with the writer part of this person



Rise of the Machines – Humans Against Authors in a Digital World, by Kristen Lamb. It’s a book to learn to be more of a lot of things in the book world. I’ve been making notes and bookmarking pages because there is some GREAT information about ME AS A WRITER (or you if you’re a writer).

One of the things that’s sticking in my head right now, is keeping it personal. The book suggests that some of us (writers) try to hard to connect with the writer part of our life and forget that you ARE FRIENDS – we forget to share ourselves with you. I work hard to KEEP connections when you are gracious enough to add me to your life, but as I read this book, I realized that I’ve been doing some things wrong.

If you are my friend I shouldn’t alienate you on a separate page that’s just for Barbara Stewart Author – “she’s” not a separate entity – she is me… And I want to move the author away – because you should know ME.

That said… The facebook author page  will be going away. I realized that of the 2640 LIKES I have on this page I really only know a couple hundred or so of you. I’ve participated in contests and giveaways that you had to LIKE the page to enter. I’ve decided I won’t be doing that any more. I want you to LIKE me because of who I am and if you don’t know me that will be hard. There are only a couple of handfuls of you who participate on the page, so the LIKES don’t feel real.

A lot of my FRIENDS gather on this page where we share personal things – https://www.facebook.com/groups/22388...

If you LIKE ME – ask to come along for the ride. We talk about books here – and music, and books

And if you’d like, be my friend at https://www.facebook.com/barbara.s.st... too!

Now, let me tell you who I am…

I am a hardworking wife who is devoted to her husband – first.

I look at faith on a much more personal basis than some, but I BELIEVE, and I talk to God every day – I PRAY! I am a caring employee who sometimes takes my job too seriously. I need to LIGHTEN UP, but I BELIEVE IN WHAT I DO – I believe in the mission and the values that my job stands for – but I admit, sometimes I need to LIGL! I( know what it means) I’m not a mom, but I relate to your posts about your children because I am an aunt, and I’ve been a daughter!

I am a writer. That’s new to me in the last couple of years. I was told a while back that I needed to define my writing, and I decided that I write LOVE STORIES FROM MY HEART. My books will always be a love story. A piece of my heart – my past – my family – is in every story I share with you. I’m learning that I can express myself through words, and I am trying to open the doors I’ve closed on myself – no one did it for me – so only I can open them. I am trying to write SOME story lines that are different than what you’ve already read – hesitantly!

If you want to be my friend – please – I love people!

I want to know YOU! I want to know who took the time to find me and be my FRIEND.

Thoughts from my heart,

Barbara

Happy Father’s Day

Greetings all!

Hope you are celebrating some awesome fathers in your life. I have two brothers who are awesome fathers and I have a husband that is a great dad, but I’m not a mother so I see those relationships differently. My dad died 24 years ago. I was blessed to have him and I think about something he said or taught me every day.

I realized as I was reading all the posts on FaceBook, missing my own dad so very much, that I’ve never celebrated a father in any of my books. Bethy had a great relationship with her dad in RRNF, Renie – not so much with hers. I celebrate moms and grandmas (Mamaw), but I think I just had a story line pop in my head about a girl and her father… Stay tuned….

Enjoy your dad celebrating the Fathers in your life. If you’re lucky enough to have yours – give him an extra hug from someone who can’t.

God bless, B