Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 115
February 15, 2014
Critique Workshop #16: GLASS HAND
Title: GLASS HANDGenre: YA Contemporary RetellingWord Count: WIP
Query:
Cyra Berque wants two things in life: a date with Rochan and a chance to show the world that a girl with one hand can fence in the Olympics. To make enough money to train at that level, Cyra teaches classes and tutors whenever she can. When her coach informs her that he has taught her everything he can, he sets her up with another coach, but the new coach costs more money. Feeling her dreams slipping out of reach, Cyra agrees to tutor a ballerina with a rich father and a D minus in English. He’ll pay Cyra three times her usual rate if she can get his precious daughter to a passing grade. The ballerina only has eyes for Rochan, and she has promised Cyra to turn her D into an F if Cyra doesn’t help her win the heart of the boy.
Cyra has no intention of giving up either dream.
GLASS HAND, a work in progress, is a YA contemporary retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac with the gender roles reversed. I fenced in college, giving me insight into the sport of sword play. The first page is pasted below.
First 250:
I pushed into the hallway traffic and wished classes could just be over. They took up too much time, and I wanted to get back to practice. The racquet ball flexed between my fingers, cracks opening across the blue material. I’d need another in a month or so.
“Louis Vuitton is where it’s at,” Sara Davies told one of her toadies as she passed. Her eye caught mine, and she stopped.
“Oh, hi Sara.” I pretended to be pleasant and put the ball behind my back. She liked to tease me about my training tecniques.
Sara looked down her perfect nose at me. “Cyra,” she said, raising an eyebrow as if she’d just found a slug in her point shoes. Her toadies twittered. Half of them would be gone by Winter Ball. The Freshman year was tough on ballerinas.
I fenced in the salle just beneath the ballet studio. Their teacher yelled in a Russian accent about how they had to lose weight to keep from having breasts. In ballet, everything had to be perfect: exquisite body, dripping with talent, stage presence, hard work, form, everything. One thing out of place could ruin it all—too much curve of the hip or a lazy extension and someone was relegated to the wings.
“My, that’s a low cut shirt.” It wasn’t, but her eyes snapped to mine. For a ballerina, there was nothing worse than being well endowed.
Her eyes narrowed. “I can wear what I like, when I like, but some of us should think of spandex as a privilege, not a right.”
Query:
Cyra Berque wants two things in life: a date with Rochan and a chance to show the world that a girl with one hand can fence in the Olympics. To make enough money to train at that level, Cyra teaches classes and tutors whenever she can. When her coach informs her that he has taught her everything he can, he sets her up with another coach, but the new coach costs more money. Feeling her dreams slipping out of reach, Cyra agrees to tutor a ballerina with a rich father and a D minus in English. He’ll pay Cyra three times her usual rate if she can get his precious daughter to a passing grade. The ballerina only has eyes for Rochan, and she has promised Cyra to turn her D into an F if Cyra doesn’t help her win the heart of the boy.
Cyra has no intention of giving up either dream.
GLASS HAND, a work in progress, is a YA contemporary retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac with the gender roles reversed. I fenced in college, giving me insight into the sport of sword play. The first page is pasted below.
First 250:
I pushed into the hallway traffic and wished classes could just be over. They took up too much time, and I wanted to get back to practice. The racquet ball flexed between my fingers, cracks opening across the blue material. I’d need another in a month or so.
“Louis Vuitton is where it’s at,” Sara Davies told one of her toadies as she passed. Her eye caught mine, and she stopped.
“Oh, hi Sara.” I pretended to be pleasant and put the ball behind my back. She liked to tease me about my training tecniques.
Sara looked down her perfect nose at me. “Cyra,” she said, raising an eyebrow as if she’d just found a slug in her point shoes. Her toadies twittered. Half of them would be gone by Winter Ball. The Freshman year was tough on ballerinas.
I fenced in the salle just beneath the ballet studio. Their teacher yelled in a Russian accent about how they had to lose weight to keep from having breasts. In ballet, everything had to be perfect: exquisite body, dripping with talent, stage presence, hard work, form, everything. One thing out of place could ruin it all—too much curve of the hip or a lazy extension and someone was relegated to the wings.
“My, that’s a low cut shirt.” It wasn’t, but her eyes snapped to mine. For a ballerina, there was nothing worse than being well endowed.
Her eyes narrowed. “I can wear what I like, when I like, but some of us should think of spandex as a privilege, not a right.”
Critique Workshop #17: BLACK FEATHER BOY
Title: BLACK FEATHER BOYGenre: MG FantasyWord Count: 46,000
Query:
An unwitting boy sprouts black feathers. Soon whisked away to an enchanted land, he must prove his worth as the only remaining son of the Lord of the Sea while battling the Red Man who wants nothing more than his head on a platter.
The people of the small town of Knolls Hollow know how to keep a secret. When eleven year old Cornelius Mathers walks down the street he can see the wondering looks behind the smiles and he can hear the whispers. Yet no-one will tell him anything more than he was found down by the river.
One day Cornelius sees a peculiar old man who seems to appear where-ever the young boy goes. Who is he? What does he want? It's on the eve of his twelfth birthday, when Cornelius sprouts a single black feather on his back, that the boy looks out his bedroom window and spots the stranger once again. Desperate for answers, Cornelius finally confronts the old man who introduces himself as Wurzel Pickens, friend and most trusted confidante to Cornelius' birth Father, Lord Aengus. Lord of the Sea and all that lies beneath the waves.
For his entire life, Cornelius has wondered about his past. But little did he know that the answers would lie with a town sworn to silence, a mysterious Wizard, a nine hundred year old curse and a magical Kingdom governed by the ruthless Red Man who has dedicated his life to killing Aengus' last remaining son.
With no choice but to return to the Kingdom of Gora, Cornelius must face not only the Red Man but the people of this good Kingdom who have suffered a terrible darkness following his Father's descent into despair. Cornelius must prove his worth as heir to the Kingdom or die at the hands of the Red Man.
First 250:
The old man, dressed from head-to-toe in purple stood in front of the hat store window and Cornelius Mathers couldn’t help but stare. With only one road in and one road out of Knolls Hollow it wasn’t too often that a stranger could make it past the prying eyes of the locals.
Eleven-year-old Cornelius, standing safely across the street, forgot all his manners and inspected the peculiar man’s long purple robe and tall pointed hat, the crest of which crumpled to the side in what would appear to be defeat.
Cornelius pulled his gym bag tighter and glanced uncomfortably over his shoulder at the otherwise empty street. The storefronts remained in darkness and except for the odd car that could be heard in the distance, the sleepy town was silent.
The man, short and bent over, looked into the darkened window, his long nose almost touching his chin that seemed to curl up at the end. Even from this distance, Cornelius could see the heavy wrinkles that wound and snaked their way along the old man’s cheeks and the boy felt bad that he had ever thought it was impossible to have more lines on your face than Mrs. Pratt who lived down the street.
Cornelius Mathers, a shy and awkward boy, for reasons unknown eased himself into a darkened doorway and watched the stranger carefully. It was soon thereafter that the stranger raised a trembling hand and with a quick snap of his fingers disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.
Query:
An unwitting boy sprouts black feathers. Soon whisked away to an enchanted land, he must prove his worth as the only remaining son of the Lord of the Sea while battling the Red Man who wants nothing more than his head on a platter.
The people of the small town of Knolls Hollow know how to keep a secret. When eleven year old Cornelius Mathers walks down the street he can see the wondering looks behind the smiles and he can hear the whispers. Yet no-one will tell him anything more than he was found down by the river.
One day Cornelius sees a peculiar old man who seems to appear where-ever the young boy goes. Who is he? What does he want? It's on the eve of his twelfth birthday, when Cornelius sprouts a single black feather on his back, that the boy looks out his bedroom window and spots the stranger once again. Desperate for answers, Cornelius finally confronts the old man who introduces himself as Wurzel Pickens, friend and most trusted confidante to Cornelius' birth Father, Lord Aengus. Lord of the Sea and all that lies beneath the waves.
For his entire life, Cornelius has wondered about his past. But little did he know that the answers would lie with a town sworn to silence, a mysterious Wizard, a nine hundred year old curse and a magical Kingdom governed by the ruthless Red Man who has dedicated his life to killing Aengus' last remaining son.
With no choice but to return to the Kingdom of Gora, Cornelius must face not only the Red Man but the people of this good Kingdom who have suffered a terrible darkness following his Father's descent into despair. Cornelius must prove his worth as heir to the Kingdom or die at the hands of the Red Man.
First 250:
The old man, dressed from head-to-toe in purple stood in front of the hat store window and Cornelius Mathers couldn’t help but stare. With only one road in and one road out of Knolls Hollow it wasn’t too often that a stranger could make it past the prying eyes of the locals.
Eleven-year-old Cornelius, standing safely across the street, forgot all his manners and inspected the peculiar man’s long purple robe and tall pointed hat, the crest of which crumpled to the side in what would appear to be defeat.
Cornelius pulled his gym bag tighter and glanced uncomfortably over his shoulder at the otherwise empty street. The storefronts remained in darkness and except for the odd car that could be heard in the distance, the sleepy town was silent.
The man, short and bent over, looked into the darkened window, his long nose almost touching his chin that seemed to curl up at the end. Even from this distance, Cornelius could see the heavy wrinkles that wound and snaked their way along the old man’s cheeks and the boy felt bad that he had ever thought it was impossible to have more lines on your face than Mrs. Pratt who lived down the street.
Cornelius Mathers, a shy and awkward boy, for reasons unknown eased himself into a darkened doorway and watched the stranger carefully. It was soon thereafter that the stranger raised a trembling hand and with a quick snap of his fingers disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.
February 14, 2014
Submission 101
You've heard whispers about it. You've dreamed about it. Nobody talks about it. What is this thing called submission and what does it feel like? It's a subject near and dear to my heart as I'm undergoing it as we speak.
Kelly Fiore is back to describe her submission journey. You might remember Kelly from her Getting the Call post. Now she lets us into the secret world of submission.
Ah, submission.
Michelle described it as querying in the dark, and she couldn’t be more right. Submission, for all intents and purposes, is like a second query process. And you thought it was over when you nabbed the agent, didn’t you? No such luck!
Basically, submission is when your agent sends a pitch letter to editors to drum up interest in your book and to try to sell it. In many cases, the pitch will include or be closely followed by the manuscript. Editors will read the pitch and decide if they want to move forward in reading the book, thereby considering it for publication.
It’s been said many times that publishing is a business of gatekeepers – agents are the gatekeepers that get you to the editors, editors are the gatekeepers that get you to the acquisition committee (which includes publishers) and so on. It’s important to understand that every single person in this equation is an expert in their field. In my estimation, the first “expert” you need in your corner is your agent, because agents make it their business to know what editors are looking for and how your book will fit into that equation.
I’ve been on submission three times – each time was a different experience than the next and I learned quite a bit from each one.
Early 2009 with a YA Paranormal Romance that didn’t sell Early 2011 with a YA Contemporary that sold after 4 months Mid 2013 with a YA Contemporary that sold after 6 weeks
I will talk about these as in-depth as possible; however, please understand that there are some details I can’t share :-)
SUBMISSION #1
2009: GODS OF ROCK (A YA Paranormal Romance)
Oh, 2009.
It was the wake of Twilight, the beginning of the dystopian boom, and the middle of the economic downturn. It’s always hard to get a book sold, but this particular time period was extremely excruciating. I would bet that other writers trying to sell at this time, and agents as well, would agree that this particular year – or chunk of years (2008-2010) – was more difficult than other years in the past.
Regardless, I’d written a young adult novel and signed with an agent, so I was really optimistic about sales. That’s one of the things about getting an agent that can be a bit of an illusion – yes, you’ve impressed someone important. REALLY important. But it is only one person. And to sell a book, there are more people to impress.
GODS OF ROCK made it to acquisitions at a few houses. If you aren’t familiar with this, an acquisition meeting is a meeting with editors, the publisher, and sales/marketing. Sometimes there are more people than that. It’s basically a board meeting where editors pitch the books they’d like to buy and they get feedback from their boss (the publisher) and the team that would promote the book (sales/marketing.)
GODS OF ROCK impressed a couple of editors, but it never went past acquisitions. I know why now – the book wasn’t what it could have been. Five years after I wrote it, I know more about writing and I can see what it was missing and what I could do better. But the idea – rock stars with Greek mythological bloodlines – was a cool enough to get some attention. Just not enough support.
Something you need to understand is this: one editor may love your book, but that is hardly ever enough, unless that editor is extremely senior in the company. It also wouldn’t be fair for one editor to get to publish everything they wanted; it would force other editors to abandon projects they want to buy, too.
So, here’s how submission went with GODS OF ROCK. My agent went out with it to a handful (more than five, less than ten) houses. Over the course of two months, all of them passed. She then went out again. This time, it was a slower response time – about six months when we heard from the last editor. All together, I was on submission for about eight months when my agent and I decided to shelve GODS OF ROCK. We both believed in the story, but felt that my time would be better spent writing something else. I’d had an idea about a Top Chef-esque YA novel, so she suggested I get started on that and we’d put GODS OF ROCK on the back burner until the market got stronger.
So, the stats are:
Submission Round One: 5-10 editors – 2 months until last response (two editors took the book to acquisitions, but couldn’t get enough support)
Submission Round Two: 5-10 editors - 6 months until last response (Pass)
Total time spent on submission: 8 months
Results: No sale
SUBMISSION #2
2011: FOOD FIGHT (Now TASTE TEST – A YA Contemporary)
In the fall of 2010, I finished a draft of my new YA Contemporary, FOOD FIGHT. After a few revisions, my agent sent it out in January 2011 to editors. This time, the editor she pitched at Bloomsbury passed the MS on to Mary Kate Castellani, a then-junior editor at Walker Childrens. Mary Kate loves cooking and baking, so FOOD FIGHT was right up her alley. It took about two months from the initial pitch to hear from her, then another three months for the book purchase to actually occur. Throughout that time, however, there was communication – it wasn’t radio silence. I always knew the sale was impending, I just didn’t know when.
So, the stats are:
Submission Round One: 5-10 editors – 2 months until response (positive)
Total time on Submission: 2 months until interest shown, 5 months until MS purchased
Results: Sale to Bloomsbury (YAY!)
SUBMISSION #3
2013: THE PEOPLE VS. CECELIA PRICE (A YA Contemporary)
My most recent experience with submission was probably my most complicated. When you work with a publisher, your contracts almost always include an option clause. That clause ordinarily asks for first look at the author’s next book. Sometimes that clause is more specific than others. In my case, Bloomsbury had an option for my next YA novel. It was essential that my agent show PVCP to my Bloomsbury editor first so that she would have the option to purchase it. Because PVCP is so different from my other Bloomsbury books, my editor passed. That allowed my agent to pitch and submit elsewhere. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT YOU JUMP THROUGH CONTRACT HOOPS – otherwise, you could be breaking your contract. A good agent will be able to advise you through this process.
After four years with my first agent, I’d signed with someone new, but I found her approach similar to what I was used to. She pitched first to a handful of editors (between 5-10) in the middle of June 2013. Throughout July, she forwarded me the pass emails she received, as well as information and updates from editors who were interested. At the end of July, she received an offer.
So, this time, the stats are:
Submission Round One: 5-10 editors – two weeks until response (positive)
Total time on Submission: Six weeks until offer made
Results: Sale to Harper Teen (YAY AGAIN!)
Want to know more?
There are a couple of resources you can check out that will give you further information about how agents pitch and how other writers have experienced submissions.
First, here is an example of a pitch letter from my agent, Suzie, for her client and amazing writer, Mindee Arnett.
http://confessionsofawanderingheart.blogspot.com/2011/09/peak-into-pitch-letter.html
Secondly, here’s a post I did back in 2013 for The Lucky 13s blog about the 2013 debut submission stats.
http://thelucky13s.blogspot.com/2013/07/an-inside-look-into-submission-process.html
When I was on submission, I googled “acquisition meeting” at least a dozen times. I just needed to read something that made me feel like I understood the process. Harold Underdown’s explanation here was invaluable to me.
http://www.underdown.org/acquisition-basics.htm
So, here’s the best advice I can give you. You’re going to hear it a lot of places. It’s annoying. I apologize – but it’s all I can give:
Write something else.
Seriously. Work on a new book. Try not to focus on what will happen to your currently submitted book and who has it now and when you’ll hear something. Writing and publishing is a marathon, not a sprint. Even when you’ve reached a goal, like getting published, you need to have steps to take to continue the journey. The majority of writers who are successful have many books, not just one. They define themselves by the writing they do, not by the books that are on the shelves.
It’s really easy for me to say this, considering I’m not on submission right now. But I can tell you one thing for certain – I will be on submission again. You don’t get a free pass to publishing once you have a few books out. It doesn’t work that way. Everyone has to fight for the right to be heard. Your voice needs to be unique and unforgettable in order to get the attention it requires.
***********************************************************
Kelly Fiore is an author, foodie, Def Leppard enthusiast, and Fiat owner. Her debut, TASTE TEST, is available now from Bloomsbury USA. Forthcoming books include Just Like the Movies,again from Bloomsbury, in 2014 and The People Vs. Cecelia Price from HarperTeen in 2015. Kelly has a BA in English from Salisbury University and an MFA in Poetry from West Virginia University. She teaches college composition in Maryland, where she lives with her husband and son.
You can connect with Kelly at her website (www.kellyfiorewrites.com), on Twitter (@kellyannfiore), or on Facebook (www.facebook.com/KellyFioreYAAuthor).
Kelly Fiore is back to describe her submission journey. You might remember Kelly from her Getting the Call post. Now she lets us into the secret world of submission.
Ah, submission.
Michelle described it as querying in the dark, and she couldn’t be more right. Submission, for all intents and purposes, is like a second query process. And you thought it was over when you nabbed the agent, didn’t you? No such luck!
Basically, submission is when your agent sends a pitch letter to editors to drum up interest in your book and to try to sell it. In many cases, the pitch will include or be closely followed by the manuscript. Editors will read the pitch and decide if they want to move forward in reading the book, thereby considering it for publication.
It’s been said many times that publishing is a business of gatekeepers – agents are the gatekeepers that get you to the editors, editors are the gatekeepers that get you to the acquisition committee (which includes publishers) and so on. It’s important to understand that every single person in this equation is an expert in their field. In my estimation, the first “expert” you need in your corner is your agent, because agents make it their business to know what editors are looking for and how your book will fit into that equation.
I’ve been on submission three times – each time was a different experience than the next and I learned quite a bit from each one.
Early 2009 with a YA Paranormal Romance that didn’t sell Early 2011 with a YA Contemporary that sold after 4 months Mid 2013 with a YA Contemporary that sold after 6 weeks
I will talk about these as in-depth as possible; however, please understand that there are some details I can’t share :-)
SUBMISSION #1
2009: GODS OF ROCK (A YA Paranormal Romance)
Oh, 2009.
It was the wake of Twilight, the beginning of the dystopian boom, and the middle of the economic downturn. It’s always hard to get a book sold, but this particular time period was extremely excruciating. I would bet that other writers trying to sell at this time, and agents as well, would agree that this particular year – or chunk of years (2008-2010) – was more difficult than other years in the past.
Regardless, I’d written a young adult novel and signed with an agent, so I was really optimistic about sales. That’s one of the things about getting an agent that can be a bit of an illusion – yes, you’ve impressed someone important. REALLY important. But it is only one person. And to sell a book, there are more people to impress.
GODS OF ROCK made it to acquisitions at a few houses. If you aren’t familiar with this, an acquisition meeting is a meeting with editors, the publisher, and sales/marketing. Sometimes there are more people than that. It’s basically a board meeting where editors pitch the books they’d like to buy and they get feedback from their boss (the publisher) and the team that would promote the book (sales/marketing.)
GODS OF ROCK impressed a couple of editors, but it never went past acquisitions. I know why now – the book wasn’t what it could have been. Five years after I wrote it, I know more about writing and I can see what it was missing and what I could do better. But the idea – rock stars with Greek mythological bloodlines – was a cool enough to get some attention. Just not enough support.
Something you need to understand is this: one editor may love your book, but that is hardly ever enough, unless that editor is extremely senior in the company. It also wouldn’t be fair for one editor to get to publish everything they wanted; it would force other editors to abandon projects they want to buy, too.
So, here’s how submission went with GODS OF ROCK. My agent went out with it to a handful (more than five, less than ten) houses. Over the course of two months, all of them passed. She then went out again. This time, it was a slower response time – about six months when we heard from the last editor. All together, I was on submission for about eight months when my agent and I decided to shelve GODS OF ROCK. We both believed in the story, but felt that my time would be better spent writing something else. I’d had an idea about a Top Chef-esque YA novel, so she suggested I get started on that and we’d put GODS OF ROCK on the back burner until the market got stronger.
So, the stats are:
Submission Round One: 5-10 editors – 2 months until last response (two editors took the book to acquisitions, but couldn’t get enough support)
Submission Round Two: 5-10 editors - 6 months until last response (Pass)
Total time spent on submission: 8 months
Results: No sale
SUBMISSION #2
2011: FOOD FIGHT (Now TASTE TEST – A YA Contemporary)
In the fall of 2010, I finished a draft of my new YA Contemporary, FOOD FIGHT. After a few revisions, my agent sent it out in January 2011 to editors. This time, the editor she pitched at Bloomsbury passed the MS on to Mary Kate Castellani, a then-junior editor at Walker Childrens. Mary Kate loves cooking and baking, so FOOD FIGHT was right up her alley. It took about two months from the initial pitch to hear from her, then another three months for the book purchase to actually occur. Throughout that time, however, there was communication – it wasn’t radio silence. I always knew the sale was impending, I just didn’t know when.
So, the stats are:
Submission Round One: 5-10 editors – 2 months until response (positive)
Total time on Submission: 2 months until interest shown, 5 months until MS purchased
Results: Sale to Bloomsbury (YAY!)
SUBMISSION #3
2013: THE PEOPLE VS. CECELIA PRICE (A YA Contemporary)
My most recent experience with submission was probably my most complicated. When you work with a publisher, your contracts almost always include an option clause. That clause ordinarily asks for first look at the author’s next book. Sometimes that clause is more specific than others. In my case, Bloomsbury had an option for my next YA novel. It was essential that my agent show PVCP to my Bloomsbury editor first so that she would have the option to purchase it. Because PVCP is so different from my other Bloomsbury books, my editor passed. That allowed my agent to pitch and submit elsewhere. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT YOU JUMP THROUGH CONTRACT HOOPS – otherwise, you could be breaking your contract. A good agent will be able to advise you through this process.
After four years with my first agent, I’d signed with someone new, but I found her approach similar to what I was used to. She pitched first to a handful of editors (between 5-10) in the middle of June 2013. Throughout July, she forwarded me the pass emails she received, as well as information and updates from editors who were interested. At the end of July, she received an offer.
So, this time, the stats are:
Submission Round One: 5-10 editors – two weeks until response (positive)
Total time on Submission: Six weeks until offer made
Results: Sale to Harper Teen (YAY AGAIN!)
Want to know more?
There are a couple of resources you can check out that will give you further information about how agents pitch and how other writers have experienced submissions.
First, here is an example of a pitch letter from my agent, Suzie, for her client and amazing writer, Mindee Arnett.
http://confessionsofawanderingheart.blogspot.com/2011/09/peak-into-pitch-letter.html
Secondly, here’s a post I did back in 2013 for The Lucky 13s blog about the 2013 debut submission stats.
http://thelucky13s.blogspot.com/2013/07/an-inside-look-into-submission-process.html
When I was on submission, I googled “acquisition meeting” at least a dozen times. I just needed to read something that made me feel like I understood the process. Harold Underdown’s explanation here was invaluable to me.
http://www.underdown.org/acquisition-basics.htm
So, here’s the best advice I can give you. You’re going to hear it a lot of places. It’s annoying. I apologize – but it’s all I can give:
Write something else.
Seriously. Work on a new book. Try not to focus on what will happen to your currently submitted book and who has it now and when you’ll hear something. Writing and publishing is a marathon, not a sprint. Even when you’ve reached a goal, like getting published, you need to have steps to take to continue the journey. The majority of writers who are successful have many books, not just one. They define themselves by the writing they do, not by the books that are on the shelves.
It’s really easy for me to say this, considering I’m not on submission right now. But I can tell you one thing for certain – I will be on submission again. You don’t get a free pass to publishing once you have a few books out. It doesn’t work that way. Everyone has to fight for the right to be heard. Your voice needs to be unique and unforgettable in order to get the attention it requires.
***********************************************************
Kelly Fiore is an author, foodie, Def Leppard enthusiast, and Fiat owner. Her debut, TASTE TEST, is available now from Bloomsbury USA. Forthcoming books include Just Like the Movies,again from Bloomsbury, in 2014 and The People Vs. Cecelia Price from HarperTeen in 2015. Kelly has a BA in English from Salisbury University and an MFA in Poetry from West Virginia University. She teaches college composition in Maryland, where she lives with her husband and son.
You can connect with Kelly at her website (www.kellyfiorewrites.com), on Twitter (@kellyannfiore), or on Facebook (www.facebook.com/KellyFioreYAAuthor).
February 13, 2014
Query Questions with Michelle Witte
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Thanks so much to Michelle Witte of Mansion Street Literary Management for the interview. And a bigger thanks to her for being so patient while Sun versus Snow was running.
Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
If you're constantly waiting for the best time to query, you're never going to do it. That said, tons of people in the publishing world take off the week before and/or after Christmas, so it's a good idea to wait until about the second week of January so your query doesn't drown in the slush that's been piling up for several weeks. Best bet, though, is to glance at an agent's Twitter or Facebook or Website (if available) to see if they've got a vacation or something big coming up.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?I always look at sample pages. Query writing is its own special beast and can be tricky to master, which means that a great writer might produce a terrible query. I try to let the writing speak for itself. However, a great query will catch my attention sooner and stronger than a query that is blah.
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?For the most part I read all of my queries. I do enlist help when things get busy, but in general I like sifting through the slush. Some days there are a dozen misses and some iffies but nothing that really stands out. And then there are days when you find something brilliant and you want your inbox filled with similarly awesome queries and SEND THEM ALL TO ME NOW. I've always felt like the slush pile is bursting with potential. Diamonds can get lost in the sea of coal, and the only way to find them is by grabbing a shovel and digging in.
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?I'd say that the more important question is, does the manuscript actually need a prologue. High fantasy and full-on space operas can get away with them because they're so complicated, but for the most part, a story is better when it unfolds organically, not in the author telling the reader everything they should know right up front. To answer the original question, I tend to skip most prologues because they don't add anything to the story and are often told in a different voice than the rest of the manuscript. Again, really think about whether a prologue is the best thing for your story. It's usually not.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?I'm fine with authors mentioning why they queried me or if they saw/met me at a conference, but other than that, it's fairly pointless. Get to the plot; I can always Google stalk you later if I need to.
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?Always include the word count and genre when querying fiction. Since I represent children's and young adult books, those stories can fall within any genre on the spectrum, so I need a head's up on what the plot is about and the elements involved. One note on word count: Anything over 80,000 words for middle grade and 100,000 words for young adult gets an automatic eyebrow raise. It doesn't mean I won't consider the manuscript, just that the writer probably needs to tighten their writing (a lot) before the book is ready for querying. Cut out unnecessary chapters, scenes, sentences, and words. It will almost always improve the flow and pace of the book.
Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?
It makes me groan when I see advice that states an arbitrary number or says, "You must do it like this, or your query will burn in the furthermost reaches of HELL." Instead of worrying about how many characters should be in the query, focus on condensing the plot to its most essential elements. In most cases, doing that will eliminate mention of extraneous characters. Focus on the essential characters (protagonist, antagonist, love interest) and you should be fine.
Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?Most new writers don't have a say in the final title or cover, though editors will generally consult with writers before changing character name, though that's usually broached in the editing process. Title and cover changes generally come from sales and marketing. Sad but true.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?I have one client who doesn't have an online presence. At all. I don't think he even has a Facebook page. But his writing is awesome and that's what really matters at the end of the day.
Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?Hardly. It makes things easier when I'm poking about online for info on writers I'm particularly interested in. Less time on the Google for me.
If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?Only for requested material.
Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?I come from an editorial background and am very nitpicky when it comes to grammar and writing mechanics, so I do thorough edits on all of my clients' manuscripts before we take them out on submission. The more polished a manuscript is when it hits the editor's desk, the better chance it has of standing out from the pack. Besides, typos drive me crazy, so I'd be fixing them anyway. ;)
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?I generally refrain from mentioning specific things I've seen in queries when I'm online. I can't imagine how horrifying it would be to see something like that pop up on Twitter, knowing full well it was about me. That said, I do trade war stories with colleagues or people I know in real life. The slush pile is a crazy, wondrous thing.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?1. I'd love to find some great middle grade stories with magical realism and heart. 2. YA stories that focus on friendships and families. While I love a good romance, I want to see fiction that explores the other important and defining relationships in our lives.
3. Narrative nonfiction for middle grade and YA, especially if it emphasises people and events that kids can relate to. The best nonfiction isn't dry and boring; it's full of life and captivates while informing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michelle Witte has joined MSLM. As a new literary agent, Michelle Witte brings with her a wealth of experience, not only with juvenile fiction, but with the publishing industry as a whole. Over the past seven years, she has worked in a variety of positions that encapsulate the various stages of a book’s publication, from the idea and writing stages, to editing, design and production, bookselling and publicity.Michelle began her career as a journalist, first reporting and then later copy editing for the Deseret Morning News in Salt Lake City, Utah, the second largest paper in the state. From there, she transitioned with her editing skills to nonfiction publisher Gibbs Smith, where she oversaw creation, editing, and production of more than thirty titles, including children’s activity, humor, gift, cookbooks, and a smattering of other topics from blacksmithing to green living.In her spare time she writes on a variety of topics and genres, though her great love is young adult fiction. Her first book, The Craptastic Guide to Pseudo-Swearing was released June 2012 by Running Press. Michelle’s second book The Faker’s Guide to the Classics: Everything You Need to Know About the Books You Should Have Read (But Didn’t) will be released May 2013 by Lyons Press.As a literary agent, she will utilize her knowledge of publishing to benefit authors both established and new. With her background in editing, she has a keen eye for quality prose and storytelling. But it is her overall experience as a reader, writer, editor, and bookseller that guides her as she searches for enthralling new writers and manuscripts.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Thanks so much to Michelle Witte of Mansion Street Literary Management for the interview. And a bigger thanks to her for being so patient while Sun versus Snow was running.
Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
If you're constantly waiting for the best time to query, you're never going to do it. That said, tons of people in the publishing world take off the week before and/or after Christmas, so it's a good idea to wait until about the second week of January so your query doesn't drown in the slush that's been piling up for several weeks. Best bet, though, is to glance at an agent's Twitter or Facebook or Website (if available) to see if they've got a vacation or something big coming up.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Not for me. My editorial mentor once told me to never read a book you edited once it was published, because you will always find that one typo that slipped through, even though you and other editors read through the stupid thing a dozen times. So do your best, then send it off and let the anxiety go. What will be will be. If you do screw up massively, don't do it next time. It's this thing called "learning" that we must all go through.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?I always look at sample pages. Query writing is its own special beast and can be tricky to master, which means that a great writer might produce a terrible query. I try to let the writing speak for itself. However, a great query will catch my attention sooner and stronger than a query that is blah.
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?For the most part I read all of my queries. I do enlist help when things get busy, but in general I like sifting through the slush. Some days there are a dozen misses and some iffies but nothing that really stands out. And then there are days when you find something brilliant and you want your inbox filled with similarly awesome queries and SEND THEM ALL TO ME NOW. I've always felt like the slush pile is bursting with potential. Diamonds can get lost in the sea of coal, and the only way to find them is by grabbing a shovel and digging in.
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?I'd say that the more important question is, does the manuscript actually need a prologue. High fantasy and full-on space operas can get away with them because they're so complicated, but for the most part, a story is better when it unfolds organically, not in the author telling the reader everything they should know right up front. To answer the original question, I tend to skip most prologues because they don't add anything to the story and are often told in a different voice than the rest of the manuscript. Again, really think about whether a prologue is the best thing for your story. It's usually not.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?I'm fine with authors mentioning why they queried me or if they saw/met me at a conference, but other than that, it's fairly pointless. Get to the plot; I can always Google stalk you later if I need to.
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?Always include the word count and genre when querying fiction. Since I represent children's and young adult books, those stories can fall within any genre on the spectrum, so I need a head's up on what the plot is about and the elements involved. One note on word count: Anything over 80,000 words for middle grade and 100,000 words for young adult gets an automatic eyebrow raise. It doesn't mean I won't consider the manuscript, just that the writer probably needs to tighten their writing (a lot) before the book is ready for querying. Cut out unnecessary chapters, scenes, sentences, and words. It will almost always improve the flow and pace of the book.
Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?
It makes me groan when I see advice that states an arbitrary number or says, "You must do it like this, or your query will burn in the furthermost reaches of HELL." Instead of worrying about how many characters should be in the query, focus on condensing the plot to its most essential elements. In most cases, doing that will eliminate mention of extraneous characters. Focus on the essential characters (protagonist, antagonist, love interest) and you should be fine.
Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?Most new writers don't have a say in the final title or cover, though editors will generally consult with writers before changing character name, though that's usually broached in the editing process. Title and cover changes generally come from sales and marketing. Sad but true.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?I have one client who doesn't have an online presence. At all. I don't think he even has a Facebook page. But his writing is awesome and that's what really matters at the end of the day.
Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?Hardly. It makes things easier when I'm poking about online for info on writers I'm particularly interested in. Less time on the Google for me.
If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?Only for requested material.
Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?I come from an editorial background and am very nitpicky when it comes to grammar and writing mechanics, so I do thorough edits on all of my clients' manuscripts before we take them out on submission. The more polished a manuscript is when it hits the editor's desk, the better chance it has of standing out from the pack. Besides, typos drive me crazy, so I'd be fixing them anyway. ;)
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?I generally refrain from mentioning specific things I've seen in queries when I'm online. I can't imagine how horrifying it would be to see something like that pop up on Twitter, knowing full well it was about me. That said, I do trade war stories with colleagues or people I know in real life. The slush pile is a crazy, wondrous thing.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?1. I'd love to find some great middle grade stories with magical realism and heart. 2. YA stories that focus on friendships and families. While I love a good romance, I want to see fiction that explores the other important and defining relationships in our lives.
3. Narrative nonfiction for middle grade and YA, especially if it emphasises people and events that kids can relate to. The best nonfiction isn't dry and boring; it's full of life and captivates while informing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michelle Witte has joined MSLM. As a new literary agent, Michelle Witte brings with her a wealth of experience, not only with juvenile fiction, but with the publishing industry as a whole. Over the past seven years, she has worked in a variety of positions that encapsulate the various stages of a book’s publication, from the idea and writing stages, to editing, design and production, bookselling and publicity.Michelle began her career as a journalist, first reporting and then later copy editing for the Deseret Morning News in Salt Lake City, Utah, the second largest paper in the state. From there, she transitioned with her editing skills to nonfiction publisher Gibbs Smith, where she oversaw creation, editing, and production of more than thirty titles, including children’s activity, humor, gift, cookbooks, and a smattering of other topics from blacksmithing to green living.In her spare time she writes on a variety of topics and genres, though her great love is young adult fiction. Her first book, The Craptastic Guide to Pseudo-Swearing was released June 2012 by Running Press. Michelle’s second book The Faker’s Guide to the Classics: Everything You Need to Know About the Books You Should Have Read (But Didn’t) will be released May 2013 by Lyons Press.As a literary agent, she will utilize her knowledge of publishing to benefit authors both established and new. With her background in editing, she has a keen eye for quality prose and storytelling. But it is her overall experience as a reader, writer, editor, and bookseller that guides her as she searches for enthralling new writers and manuscripts.
February 12, 2014
Getting the Call: Heidi Schulz
For anyone who has ever gotten a R&R from an agent and wondered if it was worth the work--here's your answer. I've seen tons of chatter on twitter about Heidi Schulz's upcoming book, HOOK'S REVENGE, and here is the story behind it.
Girl pirates are all but unsalable at the moment. You have wasted your time on this book.
That was the first professional feedback I ever received—on anything I had written. It was given by a well-known and reputable literary agent in front of a room full of people.
It’s true that misery loves company. I felt a bit better when the agent gave similar feedback to nearly everyone else taking that query letter workshop, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t concern me. I left the class thinking, “I’ll show you! (I hope.)”
Two months later I sent out my first queries. When they began to garner requests, I was more relieved than I care to admit. True confession: I was also a tiny bit smug. The letter I sent out was not much changed from the one I shared at the workshop.
Even in the early stages of communication, one agent stood out. Brooks Sherman (formerly of FinePrint Lit, now with The Bent Agency) read my sample pages and responded, not only with a request for the full manuscript, but with incredibly thoughtful questions about the characters in my manuscript. Those questions made him an early favorite.
As the weeks went on, I received more requests, several form rejections, and, from some agents, a whole lot of silence. But then, bout a month after sending him my full, Brooks emailed to see if we could set up a phone call for later that week! This was it, kids! I was going to get an offer of representation!
That night I started rereading my manuscript. I got about a third of the way in before deciding to go to bed. I climbed under the covers and stuck my cold feet on my sleeping husband, because that is one of the perks of marriage.
He screamed and said something about how my feet burned like dry ice. I replied that since he was awake, I had something to tell him: I thought my book was really good. You see, it had been more than a month since I had read it and I was reading it with fresh eyes. I liked what I saw.
The next night, I read on, determined to finish before I got The Call so everything would be fresh in my mind. But things weren’t quite as good as they had been the night before. The story was falling apart. Why hadn’t I seen that before?
When I reached the end I saw what I had been blind to before: That manuscript wasn’t ready. Brooks would only be calling to tell me so. I didn’t know why he would take the time to tell me over the phone. Maybe he was even nicer than I thought.
I am glad that I had spent that time rereading. The fact that Brooks did not offer representation on our phone call the next day was no surprise. He had obviously seen the problems that existed. But, here is the surprise, he did think it had a lot of promise. We spoke for nearly an hour, a good portion of the time focusing on what had gone wrong and what I might do to fix it.
I really enjoyed talking to him. As with our initial email contact, he asked great questions. I hung up excited to get to work on revisions. I had a new direction, a new vision for my manuscript and couldn’t wait to see it on the page.
When I was finished, I sent it right to Brooks. A couple weeks later, he emailed me to say he really liked my revision. He wanted to set up another phone call. Not just a call, THE CALL. I was thrilled when he offered representation.
I ended up with two great offers before making my final decision to work with Brooks. Four months later, my “unsalable” girl pirate book, HOOK’S REVENGE, sold to Disney*Hyperion after a five house auction.
I made a lot of mistakes in the querying process, not least of all, jumping the gun and sending out a project that wasn’t quite ready. Even so, I did at least one thing right: I realized that opinions, even those of well-known, reputable agents, are subjective. One does not speak for all. One no is just that, one no.
Please note: I’m not saying it’s a good idea to ignore professional advice. I am saying you should weigh all advice against other opinions and your own feelings before making a decision. Make changes if you need to. And then, be brave and follow your gut.
At least that’s what worked for me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heidi Schulz is a bit of a riddle, even to herself. Her high school career aptitude test suggested she would be an excellent air-traffic controller, possibly because she is always thinking of a million things at once. She enjoys cooking but hates having to cook—there is a difference, you know. She loves spreadsheets almost as much as she loves creating new worlds on paper. She is suspicious of giraffes and despairs of ever being normal.
Heidi lives in the same Oregon community that she grew up in, although she did take a much beloved three year break with her husband and daughter to live in Maryland. It never fails to delight her that her town’s public library still has the same three-story dollhouse on display that a very young Heidi liked to look at, nor that the children’s librarians are able to continue coming up with new ways to arrange the furniture.
Heidi worked in accounting until the birth of her daughter, at which point she chose to pursue a career in playing Barbies and scraping Playdoh out of the carpet. After many years, she was promoted to head chauffeur and frequent co-conspirator. She has been homeschooling her daughter since 2007. If you see Heidi out and about, feel free to quiz her on her times tables.
Heidi lives in Salem, Oregon with her husband, their teen daughter, a terrible little dog, and five irascible chickens. Early in the morning and/or late at night she writes stories for children. Her debut novel for middle grade readers, HOOK’S REVENGE, will be published in the US by Disney•Hyperion on September 16, 2014, and in the UK by The Chicken House shortly after. Bloomsbury Kids will publish her picture book debut, GIRAFFES RUIN EVERYTHING, in Fall 2015.
WebsiteTwitterHook's Revenge on GoodreadsPre-order Hook's Revenge on Amazon
Girl pirates are all but unsalable at the moment. You have wasted your time on this book.
That was the first professional feedback I ever received—on anything I had written. It was given by a well-known and reputable literary agent in front of a room full of people.
It’s true that misery loves company. I felt a bit better when the agent gave similar feedback to nearly everyone else taking that query letter workshop, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t concern me. I left the class thinking, “I’ll show you! (I hope.)”
Two months later I sent out my first queries. When they began to garner requests, I was more relieved than I care to admit. True confession: I was also a tiny bit smug. The letter I sent out was not much changed from the one I shared at the workshop.
Even in the early stages of communication, one agent stood out. Brooks Sherman (formerly of FinePrint Lit, now with The Bent Agency) read my sample pages and responded, not only with a request for the full manuscript, but with incredibly thoughtful questions about the characters in my manuscript. Those questions made him an early favorite.
As the weeks went on, I received more requests, several form rejections, and, from some agents, a whole lot of silence. But then, bout a month after sending him my full, Brooks emailed to see if we could set up a phone call for later that week! This was it, kids! I was going to get an offer of representation!
That night I started rereading my manuscript. I got about a third of the way in before deciding to go to bed. I climbed under the covers and stuck my cold feet on my sleeping husband, because that is one of the perks of marriage.
He screamed and said something about how my feet burned like dry ice. I replied that since he was awake, I had something to tell him: I thought my book was really good. You see, it had been more than a month since I had read it and I was reading it with fresh eyes. I liked what I saw.
The next night, I read on, determined to finish before I got The Call so everything would be fresh in my mind. But things weren’t quite as good as they had been the night before. The story was falling apart. Why hadn’t I seen that before?
When I reached the end I saw what I had been blind to before: That manuscript wasn’t ready. Brooks would only be calling to tell me so. I didn’t know why he would take the time to tell me over the phone. Maybe he was even nicer than I thought.
I am glad that I had spent that time rereading. The fact that Brooks did not offer representation on our phone call the next day was no surprise. He had obviously seen the problems that existed. But, here is the surprise, he did think it had a lot of promise. We spoke for nearly an hour, a good portion of the time focusing on what had gone wrong and what I might do to fix it.
I really enjoyed talking to him. As with our initial email contact, he asked great questions. I hung up excited to get to work on revisions. I had a new direction, a new vision for my manuscript and couldn’t wait to see it on the page.
When I was finished, I sent it right to Brooks. A couple weeks later, he emailed me to say he really liked my revision. He wanted to set up another phone call. Not just a call, THE CALL. I was thrilled when he offered representation.
I ended up with two great offers before making my final decision to work with Brooks. Four months later, my “unsalable” girl pirate book, HOOK’S REVENGE, sold to Disney*Hyperion after a five house auction.
I made a lot of mistakes in the querying process, not least of all, jumping the gun and sending out a project that wasn’t quite ready. Even so, I did at least one thing right: I realized that opinions, even those of well-known, reputable agents, are subjective. One does not speak for all. One no is just that, one no.
Please note: I’m not saying it’s a good idea to ignore professional advice. I am saying you should weigh all advice against other opinions and your own feelings before making a decision. Make changes if you need to. And then, be brave and follow your gut.
At least that’s what worked for me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heidi Schulz is a bit of a riddle, even to herself. Her high school career aptitude test suggested she would be an excellent air-traffic controller, possibly because she is always thinking of a million things at once. She enjoys cooking but hates having to cook—there is a difference, you know. She loves spreadsheets almost as much as she loves creating new worlds on paper. She is suspicious of giraffes and despairs of ever being normal.
Heidi lives in the same Oregon community that she grew up in, although she did take a much beloved three year break with her husband and daughter to live in Maryland. It never fails to delight her that her town’s public library still has the same three-story dollhouse on display that a very young Heidi liked to look at, nor that the children’s librarians are able to continue coming up with new ways to arrange the furniture.
Heidi worked in accounting until the birth of her daughter, at which point she chose to pursue a career in playing Barbies and scraping Playdoh out of the carpet. After many years, she was promoted to head chauffeur and frequent co-conspirator. She has been homeschooling her daughter since 2007. If you see Heidi out and about, feel free to quiz her on her times tables.
Heidi lives in Salem, Oregon with her husband, their teen daughter, a terrible little dog, and five irascible chickens. Early in the morning and/or late at night she writes stories for children. Her debut novel for middle grade readers, HOOK’S REVENGE, will be published in the US by Disney•Hyperion on September 16, 2014, and in the UK by The Chicken House shortly after. Bloomsbury Kids will publish her picture book debut, GIRAFFES RUIN EVERYTHING, in Fall 2015.
WebsiteTwitterHook's Revenge on GoodreadsPre-order Hook's Revenge on Amazon
February 11, 2014
Release Day for Full Measure
Congrats to Rebecca Yarros, who was a Query Kombat mentor last year, on her new release!!!
She knew. That’s why Mom hadn’t opened the door. She knew he was dead.
Twenty years as an army brat and Ember Howard knew, too. The soldiers at the door meant her dad was never coming home. What she didn’t know was how she would find the strength to singlehandedly care for her crumbling family when her mom falls apart.
Then Josh Walker enters her life. Hockey star, her new next-door neighbor, and not to mention the most delicious hands that insist on saving her ov er and over again. He has a way of erasing the pain with a single look, a single touch. As much as she wants to turn off her feelings and endure the heartache on her own, she can’t deny their intense attraction.
Until Josh’s secret shatters their world. And Ember must decide if he’s worth the risk that comes with loving a man who could strip her bare.
| | About RebeccaRebecca Yarros is a mom, military wife, blogger, and author of Young Adult and New Adult fiction. In addition to raising an absolute gaggle of somewhat-noisy children, she draws inspiration for her fiction from her favorite authors like Mercedes Lackey, Gayle Forman, and Gena Showalter.
She’s a graduate of Troy University, where she studied European history and English, but is still holding out hope for an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Her blog, The Only Girl Among Boys, has been voted the Top Military Mom Blog, and celebrates the complex issues surrounding military life that have helped shape her characters, who are strong in the face of odds and meet challenges with courage, tenderness, and grace.
When she’s not writing, she loves to travel with her husband, always seeking to ink up that passport a little more and discover new settings for new novels. Her favorite destinations include Paris, Scotland, Istanbul, Mykonos, Capri, and her home state of Colorado. She’s a guitar-player when no one is watching, and a cake-decorator when everyone is eating.
Find Rebecca Online:
| |
She knew. That’s why Mom hadn’t opened the door. She knew he was dead.
Twenty years as an army brat and Ember Howard knew, too. The soldiers at the door meant her dad was never coming home. What she didn’t know was how she would find the strength to singlehandedly care for her crumbling family when her mom falls apart.
Then Josh Walker enters her life. Hockey star, her new next-door neighbor, and not to mention the most delicious hands that insist on saving her ov er and over again. He has a way of erasing the pain with a single look, a single touch. As much as she wants to turn off her feelings and endure the heartache on her own, she can’t deny their intense attraction.
Until Josh’s secret shatters their world. And Ember must decide if he’s worth the risk that comes with loving a man who could strip her bare.
| | About RebeccaRebecca Yarros is a mom, military wife, blogger, and author of Young Adult and New Adult fiction. In addition to raising an absolute gaggle of somewhat-noisy children, she draws inspiration for her fiction from her favorite authors like Mercedes Lackey, Gayle Forman, and Gena Showalter.
She’s a graduate of Troy University, where she studied European history and English, but is still holding out hope for an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Her blog, The Only Girl Among Boys, has been voted the Top Military Mom Blog, and celebrates the complex issues surrounding military life that have helped shape her characters, who are strong in the face of odds and meet challenges with courage, tenderness, and grace.
When she’s not writing, she loves to travel with her husband, always seeking to ink up that passport a little more and discover new settings for new novels. Her favorite destinations include Paris, Scotland, Istanbul, Mykonos, Capri, and her home state of Colorado. She’s a guitar-player when no one is watching, and a cake-decorator when everyone is eating.
Find Rebecca Online:
| |
February 10, 2014
Critique Workshop #8: DREAMWALKERS
Title: DREAMWALKERSGenre: MG Contemporary FantasyWord Count: 68,000
Query:
Dear Agent:
Thirteen-year-old January Stone wakes up in a new place each morning, making uncontrolled jumps across hundreds of miles in her sleep. Hungry for friends she can keep from one day to the next, she doesn’t realize that being hard to find is the only thing keeping her alive.
But then a stranger with pits of black mist for eyes begins hunting January, which draws the attention of the Dreamwalkers, a group of kids and teens who recognize her as one of their own. For January, finding friends at last is worth having to flee from the terrifying Fallen — once-human monsters who seek to devour Dreamwalkers’ souls. But clashing personalities and old grudges keep the Dreamwalkers from playing nice at the best of times — and tensions explode when they find a note from a dead Dreamwalker, warning of a betrayer among them.
January must keep her new friends from turning on each other long enough to unravel a mystery that has already claimed one Dreamwalker’s life, knowing all the while that trusting the wrong person could be a fatal mistake. The secrets she discovers will force her to choose whether to sacrifice her friends... or become a Fallen herself.
I’m seeking representation for my upper middle grade contemporary fantasy novel, DREAMWALKERS (68,000 words).
First 250:
One summer day, two years after Auntie Vera died, I woke to the smell of mildew.
It’s not my favorite odor. But more than once, it’s been my first clue to my location, before I open my eyes. And when you never know where you’ll be when you wake up, you take all the clues you can get. A sound, a smell, or even the feeling of the air on your skin can warn you not to move — or to jump up and get out of there. Like the time I woke up to train tracks humming under my back, or to a bear snuffling my face.
This time, it was mildew — and a girl’s voice, close by.
I opened my eyes, ready to do some fast talking if she’d seen me. But I was alone, as usual. I lay curled on the floor of a garden shed, between a barrel of cobwebby rakes and a rusted wheelbarrow.
The girl’s trembling voice drifted in through the half-open window. She was clearly trying out new swear words — hesitantly at first, but with passion.
This could be awkward.
I stood, intending to peek outside. Immediately, wings exploded into a wild, breathy flutter as a bird knocked a flowerpot off the shelf next to its nest, buzzed my head, and swooped out the window.
At the crash, the cursing outside broke off. Before I could do more than freeze, the door flew open.
Framed in it stood a girl with flyaway brown hair and freckles across her nose.
Query:
Dear Agent:
Thirteen-year-old January Stone wakes up in a new place each morning, making uncontrolled jumps across hundreds of miles in her sleep. Hungry for friends she can keep from one day to the next, she doesn’t realize that being hard to find is the only thing keeping her alive.
But then a stranger with pits of black mist for eyes begins hunting January, which draws the attention of the Dreamwalkers, a group of kids and teens who recognize her as one of their own. For January, finding friends at last is worth having to flee from the terrifying Fallen — once-human monsters who seek to devour Dreamwalkers’ souls. But clashing personalities and old grudges keep the Dreamwalkers from playing nice at the best of times — and tensions explode when they find a note from a dead Dreamwalker, warning of a betrayer among them.
January must keep her new friends from turning on each other long enough to unravel a mystery that has already claimed one Dreamwalker’s life, knowing all the while that trusting the wrong person could be a fatal mistake. The secrets she discovers will force her to choose whether to sacrifice her friends... or become a Fallen herself.
I’m seeking representation for my upper middle grade contemporary fantasy novel, DREAMWALKERS (68,000 words).
First 250:
One summer day, two years after Auntie Vera died, I woke to the smell of mildew.
It’s not my favorite odor. But more than once, it’s been my first clue to my location, before I open my eyes. And when you never know where you’ll be when you wake up, you take all the clues you can get. A sound, a smell, or even the feeling of the air on your skin can warn you not to move — or to jump up and get out of there. Like the time I woke up to train tracks humming under my back, or to a bear snuffling my face.
This time, it was mildew — and a girl’s voice, close by.
I opened my eyes, ready to do some fast talking if she’d seen me. But I was alone, as usual. I lay curled on the floor of a garden shed, between a barrel of cobwebby rakes and a rusted wheelbarrow.
The girl’s trembling voice drifted in through the half-open window. She was clearly trying out new swear words — hesitantly at first, but with passion.
This could be awkward.
I stood, intending to peek outside. Immediately, wings exploded into a wild, breathy flutter as a bird knocked a flowerpot off the shelf next to its nest, buzzed my head, and swooped out the window.
At the crash, the cursing outside broke off. Before I could do more than freeze, the door flew open.
Framed in it stood a girl with flyaway brown hair and freckles across her nose.
Critique Workshop #7: LOVE IS FAKE, YOU KNOW
Title: LOVE IS FAKE, YOU KNOWGenre: YA LGBT Coming-of-AgeWord Count: 93,000
Query:
Morgan’s confusion doesn’t lie in the realm of sexuality—no, it feels pretty natural for every daydream and nightmare to include both genders. The real problem is figuring out how to fit into the mold of “high school student” while battling a touchy-feely brother, memories of a step-dad who whistled when he threw punches, and unscrupulous partners with the single goal, it seems, of further degradation. Torn between seeking the familiar and rising above a homophobic hometown in Ohio, Morgan must learn how to give in to temptation without losing control—or else settle for a life riddled with depression and angst. The solution? Create new definitions of morality that ignore society’s expectations. Dignity not required.
Love Is Fake, You Know is a journey through those unforgettably awkward high school years, culminating in Morgan’s coming-of-age and sexual awakening. It is never above leaving out the embarrassing details of a public rejection after a kiss that makes the world stop turning, losing innocence to an emotionless one-night stand, and resorting to self-harm to cope with harsh realities. What Morgan doesn’t realize is that love—that obnoxious concept that can’t possibly be real—might actually be attainable with a little bit of trust and vigilance.
But there’s a catch to this brutally honest Bildungsroman—the reader never learns the gender of the main character. After all, Morgan’s story could be anyone’s.
The manuscript is complete at 93,000 words. Due to its themes and tone, Love Is Fake, You Know will appeal to young adult readers ofThe Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Catcher in the Rye.
First 250:
6-24-02, Monday, 5:03 AMI have a weird secret ambition that this journal will be discovered and I’ll end up like Anne Frank or something. Except nothing I write flows quite like Anne’s stuff did. And with any luck I won’t be dying any time soon.
What pushed me over the edge toward writing tonight was a fight with Jacob. We were having a pretty normal conversation about how we can’t wait for band camp when out of nowhere he asked where I wanted to sneak off to when we got there. I sputtered until the only words I could think of came out: “To do what?”
“C’mon Morgan, you know what I wanna do.”
I told him I wasn’t ready to “do stuff.” I have no idea where his idea even came from. I mean, we’ve only been going out for 55 days! He hasn’t even kissed me yet.
His response came out as a hiss through the earpiece: “Don’t act like you’re not easier than that.” I’d never heard him use that tone. It didn’t suit him. What prompted this?
When I firmly told him that I’m just not like that, he seemed to realize his mistake. He apologized a million times and said he was sooooo sorry and that he absolutely does not think of me as “easy.” It’s not that I don't believe him...I really do trust him. It was just a misunderstanding, right?
And honestly, I’m still not sure what he wants to do at band camp.
Query:
Morgan’s confusion doesn’t lie in the realm of sexuality—no, it feels pretty natural for every daydream and nightmare to include both genders. The real problem is figuring out how to fit into the mold of “high school student” while battling a touchy-feely brother, memories of a step-dad who whistled when he threw punches, and unscrupulous partners with the single goal, it seems, of further degradation. Torn between seeking the familiar and rising above a homophobic hometown in Ohio, Morgan must learn how to give in to temptation without losing control—or else settle for a life riddled with depression and angst. The solution? Create new definitions of morality that ignore society’s expectations. Dignity not required.
Love Is Fake, You Know is a journey through those unforgettably awkward high school years, culminating in Morgan’s coming-of-age and sexual awakening. It is never above leaving out the embarrassing details of a public rejection after a kiss that makes the world stop turning, losing innocence to an emotionless one-night stand, and resorting to self-harm to cope with harsh realities. What Morgan doesn’t realize is that love—that obnoxious concept that can’t possibly be real—might actually be attainable with a little bit of trust and vigilance.
But there’s a catch to this brutally honest Bildungsroman—the reader never learns the gender of the main character. After all, Morgan’s story could be anyone’s.
The manuscript is complete at 93,000 words. Due to its themes and tone, Love Is Fake, You Know will appeal to young adult readers ofThe Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Catcher in the Rye.
First 250:
6-24-02, Monday, 5:03 AMI have a weird secret ambition that this journal will be discovered and I’ll end up like Anne Frank or something. Except nothing I write flows quite like Anne’s stuff did. And with any luck I won’t be dying any time soon.
What pushed me over the edge toward writing tonight was a fight with Jacob. We were having a pretty normal conversation about how we can’t wait for band camp when out of nowhere he asked where I wanted to sneak off to when we got there. I sputtered until the only words I could think of came out: “To do what?”
“C’mon Morgan, you know what I wanna do.”
I told him I wasn’t ready to “do stuff.” I have no idea where his idea even came from. I mean, we’ve only been going out for 55 days! He hasn’t even kissed me yet.
His response came out as a hiss through the earpiece: “Don’t act like you’re not easier than that.” I’d never heard him use that tone. It didn’t suit him. What prompted this?
When I firmly told him that I’m just not like that, he seemed to realize his mistake. He apologized a million times and said he was sooooo sorry and that he absolutely does not think of me as “easy.” It’s not that I don't believe him...I really do trust him. It was just a misunderstanding, right?
And honestly, I’m still not sure what he wants to do at band camp.
Critique Workshop #6: AMANDA HARDY'S TEA PARTY
Title: AMANDA HARDY'S TEA PARTY
Genre: MG Historical Fiction
Word Count: 25,000 words
QUERY:
Dear Michelle and Amy,
Thank you for the opportunity to participate in your original contest, sun vs. snow. I certainly know which one of those makes me the most uncomfortable!
Amanda Hardy’s Tea Party tells the story of a ten year old girl immersed in events that confuse and worry her. Her Papa and brother are rushing about Boston, her Mama has tossed the tea into the trash, and three ships loom large in the harbor – and never leave. Something is going on, but no one will tell Amanda what it is. With her tenth birthday only four days away, will anyone even remember they are having guests?
The story takes place during the four days leading up to, and the day of the protest that becomes known as the Boston Tea Party.
There are many Tea Party books for children, but none through the eyes of a young northern girl. What makes Amanda unique is her willingness to act outside the norms of her times to be part of the Patriot movement. She wishes to be a Patriot, like her Papa.
Submission:
Amanda Hardy scrunched her nose against the frost-coated window and huffed. Her breath formed a circle and she rubbed the spot so she could peer out. Pinpricks of snow dotted the cobblestone street. To her left, she spotted Papa and John rushing down Belcher’s Lane for the second time that morning. Papa never left his carpentry shop during the day. Something was not right.
Outside, many of the Boston townsfolk gathered on the street, their heads tipped together like children telling secrets. Mr. Jensen, the baker from two doors down, stood outside his store, pointing toward Griffin’s Wharf. He shook his fist. Was it because of the tea ships?
Yesterday, when she and Mama took baby James for a walk, they passed the wharf where three ships were anchored, docked there for weeks. Their tall wooden masts reached up towards the sky. The names painted on their hulls were The Dartmouth, The Eleanor and The Beaver – such strange names for ships. Now, from her window, Amanda could see the tops of the masts. Mama told her the ship’s cargo was tea, and parliament wanted the colonists to pay the taxes on it before it was unloaded. Pay a tax on our tea? Tea that we drank everyday? That was unfair.
Now, with all the talk about tea, and Papa and John rushing off, not one person remembered her birthday. In four more days she would be ten. Ten! That was practically a grownup! But while John was rushing about with Papa, she had chores to do.
Genre: MG Historical Fiction
Word Count: 25,000 words
QUERY:
Dear Michelle and Amy,
Thank you for the opportunity to participate in your original contest, sun vs. snow. I certainly know which one of those makes me the most uncomfortable!
Amanda Hardy’s Tea Party tells the story of a ten year old girl immersed in events that confuse and worry her. Her Papa and brother are rushing about Boston, her Mama has tossed the tea into the trash, and three ships loom large in the harbor – and never leave. Something is going on, but no one will tell Amanda what it is. With her tenth birthday only four days away, will anyone even remember they are having guests?
The story takes place during the four days leading up to, and the day of the protest that becomes known as the Boston Tea Party.
There are many Tea Party books for children, but none through the eyes of a young northern girl. What makes Amanda unique is her willingness to act outside the norms of her times to be part of the Patriot movement. She wishes to be a Patriot, like her Papa.
Submission:
Amanda Hardy scrunched her nose against the frost-coated window and huffed. Her breath formed a circle and she rubbed the spot so she could peer out. Pinpricks of snow dotted the cobblestone street. To her left, she spotted Papa and John rushing down Belcher’s Lane for the second time that morning. Papa never left his carpentry shop during the day. Something was not right.
Outside, many of the Boston townsfolk gathered on the street, their heads tipped together like children telling secrets. Mr. Jensen, the baker from two doors down, stood outside his store, pointing toward Griffin’s Wharf. He shook his fist. Was it because of the tea ships?
Yesterday, when she and Mama took baby James for a walk, they passed the wharf where three ships were anchored, docked there for weeks. Their tall wooden masts reached up towards the sky. The names painted on their hulls were The Dartmouth, The Eleanor and The Beaver – such strange names for ships. Now, from her window, Amanda could see the tops of the masts. Mama told her the ship’s cargo was tea, and parliament wanted the colonists to pay the taxes on it before it was unloaded. Pay a tax on our tea? Tea that we drank everyday? That was unfair.
Now, with all the talk about tea, and Papa and John rushing off, not one person remembered her birthday. In four more days she would be ten. Ten! That was practically a grownup! But while John was rushing about with Papa, she had chores to do.
Ciritique Workshop #5: RAGNOR'S BANE
Title: EBONY BOOK 1: RAGNOR'S BANEGenre: YA Fantasy Word Count: 90,500
Query:
Greetings, Sun Vs. Snow! I am very excited to be participating in this event.
Ebony Havenworth was only pretending to be an assassin. She never wanted to kill anyone. She wanted to leave the stifling confines of her town with its girls who only dreamt of marriage and the bullies who told Ebony she was strange. Become a proper bard. Flirt.
But her hometown is put under a Dark spell by the tyrant Fae King, and the only hope of saving it is to stop him.
Ebony is drawn into a plan. She will become a false assassin beside a sword-carrying tailor and a sullen wizard. Two teenagers that will help her draw the King’s attention away from the real rebels behind the scenes. If she can stop the boys from trying to kill each other, they might just carry off the farce.
Ebony plans to cast a few spells – even though she was forbidden long ago from ever performing magic again. Lift the curse on her home, then move on.
The problem is, the Fae don’t play pretend.
RAGNOR’S BANE is set in a medieval world but written with more modern sensibilities and dialogue. The book is the first in a planned trilogy detailing her rise to fame, her sometimes misguided experiences with love, and her struggle to stay away from Dark powers herself.
This story is in submission to other agents and publishers at this time. I am unpublished. I am starting as an intern in the Editing department of the Philadelphia Art Museum this week. I write a flash fiction blog and have been previously featured twice on fantasy author R.B. Wood’s THE WORD COUNT PODCAST.
First 250 words:
YEAR 1515CHAPTER ONE: The End of Most Things
That evening, sounds reverberated deeper and truer than the ragged cliff edges that surrounded the Valley. Mountain pines and birches shuddered restlessly to this strange music. They danced with the magic of approaching harvest time, moonlit nights, and festivals.
Near the gates of Cross Haven, inside the timeworn log-beamed pub, the song murmured of the coming autumn like a promise. Or a threat.
The lyrics were long forgotten to the ages. The only thing that remained was the cool hum of the harp.
Her hands descended slowly from the strings, and Ebony Havenworth opened her eyes. Conversations buzzed around her.
One man inclined his head in her direction, and another clapped against the tabletop. She didn’t mind that no one else seemed to be paying attention. It meant that they didn’t notice her mistakes. She hated making mistakes.
She studied the inside of the tavern, counting each familiar face.
Ebony tallied two outsiders today. They were holed up in one of the back booths, but they stood out like an untuned string. Their hooded faces gave them an air of mystery, of danger. Ebony felt a secret thrill. They could be from the Guild, she thought. Wizards.
One of the strangers looked up.
Ebony gasped and flicked her eyes downward, stifling a giggle with her hand. It wouldn’t do to be caught staring at people, wizards or not.
“Wot’s so funny?” The Blacksmith’s apprentice, David, smiled at her from the other side of the harp.
Query:
Greetings, Sun Vs. Snow! I am very excited to be participating in this event.
Ebony Havenworth was only pretending to be an assassin. She never wanted to kill anyone. She wanted to leave the stifling confines of her town with its girls who only dreamt of marriage and the bullies who told Ebony she was strange. Become a proper bard. Flirt.
But her hometown is put under a Dark spell by the tyrant Fae King, and the only hope of saving it is to stop him.
Ebony is drawn into a plan. She will become a false assassin beside a sword-carrying tailor and a sullen wizard. Two teenagers that will help her draw the King’s attention away from the real rebels behind the scenes. If she can stop the boys from trying to kill each other, they might just carry off the farce.
Ebony plans to cast a few spells – even though she was forbidden long ago from ever performing magic again. Lift the curse on her home, then move on.
The problem is, the Fae don’t play pretend.
RAGNOR’S BANE is set in a medieval world but written with more modern sensibilities and dialogue. The book is the first in a planned trilogy detailing her rise to fame, her sometimes misguided experiences with love, and her struggle to stay away from Dark powers herself.
This story is in submission to other agents and publishers at this time. I am unpublished. I am starting as an intern in the Editing department of the Philadelphia Art Museum this week. I write a flash fiction blog and have been previously featured twice on fantasy author R.B. Wood’s THE WORD COUNT PODCAST.
First 250 words:
YEAR 1515CHAPTER ONE: The End of Most Things
That evening, sounds reverberated deeper and truer than the ragged cliff edges that surrounded the Valley. Mountain pines and birches shuddered restlessly to this strange music. They danced with the magic of approaching harvest time, moonlit nights, and festivals.
Near the gates of Cross Haven, inside the timeworn log-beamed pub, the song murmured of the coming autumn like a promise. Or a threat.
The lyrics were long forgotten to the ages. The only thing that remained was the cool hum of the harp.
Her hands descended slowly from the strings, and Ebony Havenworth opened her eyes. Conversations buzzed around her.
One man inclined his head in her direction, and another clapped against the tabletop. She didn’t mind that no one else seemed to be paying attention. It meant that they didn’t notice her mistakes. She hated making mistakes.
She studied the inside of the tavern, counting each familiar face.
Ebony tallied two outsiders today. They were holed up in one of the back booths, but they stood out like an untuned string. Their hooded faces gave them an air of mystery, of danger. Ebony felt a secret thrill. They could be from the Guild, she thought. Wizards.
One of the strangers looked up.
Ebony gasped and flicked her eyes downward, stifling a giggle with her hand. It wouldn’t do to be caught staring at people, wizards or not.
“Wot’s so funny?” The Blacksmith’s apprentice, David, smiled at her from the other side of the harp.
