Alan Fadling's Blog, page 60

Surrender and Identity

We live in a day when people feel pressure to establish their identity as though it were a frail, fragile thing. Will I be able to post something that goes viral? Will I be seen as an influencer for this reason?

 

I was recently re-reading a C. S. Lewis classic, Mere Christianity, and found this on the very last page in a chapter titled “The New Men.” (Forgive his male-centered language. I have a feeling he’d want to say the following to each of us reading).

 

“Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self. Sameness is to be found most among the most ‘natural’ men, not among those who surrender to Christ. How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different are the saints.” (p. 190).

 

Instead of identity being the fruit of self-promotion, Lewis believes identity is rooted in self-surrender. My identity is established in humble, gentle communion with God. It is then expressed in my activities and relationships. We tend to get this backward these days.

 

You are already special, already valuable, already wanted, already a treasure. These things are a gift given to you rather than a paycheck you have to keep earning day after day. Doesn’t that sound less exhausting and more rejuvenating?

 

Reflection  

Are there ways that social media tempts you to post something that will portray you as important, special or beautiful?
How soul satisfying are these attempts to prove something about yourself?
How might God want you to simply receive your value, your worth, your specialness as a gift and relinquish the unending attempt to earn it?

 

(Purchases made via the links above may provide an Amazon Affiliate commission fee to Unhurried Living. This adds nothing to the cost of your purchase).

 

Quotation from C. S. Lewis. Mere Christianity. New York: MacMillan Publishing Co., 1943, 1964, p. 190.

Podcast 151: Never Settle (Alan with Greg Holder)

Author, Greg Holder, in his book Never Settle, suggests that “while we don’t consciously choose a less-than-life, it happens.

Little by little, we start putting down roots in a land of less than: less than satisfying, less than interesting, less than helpful, and certainly less than hopeful. Before we know it our faith is lukewarm, apathetic, bland.

Never Settle is a tangible reminder that every choice in your day is crackling with God’s redemptive power –God is calling us—you and me—to participate in what God is doing in his world. Can you think of a more significant and exciting invitation. I hope you’ll listen as we talk about resisting the temptation to become lukewarm.

Greg Holder is a pastor, author, speaker, and story-teller. He has been the Lead Pastor for 20+ years at The Crossing, a multi-site church that reaches 8,000+ people across four campuses in the St. Louis, Missouri area and a thriving online community. He is the author of The Genius of One, Advent Conspiracy, and translator of the book of Jeremiah for The Voice Bible. 

The Genius of One Conference has trained 1,000+ pastors across India, Kenya, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Uganda, Zimbabwe, and Zambia. With a diverse assortment of interest, gifts, and training, including degrees in psychology and counseling, Greg brings unique insight into the development of God-honoring relationships. 

Learn more about Greg's book with a FREE chapter to review.  Download that chapter HERE.

Connect with Greg on Social Media at:
Facebook @GregHolder0
Instagram @gregholder_
Twitter @gregholder_

Happy Thanksgiving from Alan & Gem

You are likely already unplugged this week because Thanksgiving is tomorrow (in the U.S.) So we’re going to keep it very simple today.

 

We are so thankful for you, our email and blog friends! We know that we don’t know most of you personally. And yet you continue to let us into your email box and into your heart as we try to bring encouragement to you week by week.

 

Thank you for the honor of being a voice in your ear. Our deep desire is that you experience the love of God in every area of your life. That you enjoy the fruits of becoming an unhurried leader and influencer in your own life.

 

So, Happy Thanksgiving to our U.S. friends. And to those of you in other countries, Happy Wednesday! We are grateful for all of you!

 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Podcast 150: : Live the Questions (Gem interviewed by Yohonna Smith on Girl’s Talking Life Podcast)

Can you believe that What Does Your Soul Love? released just a little over a year ago? With 2020 being what it is, that seems like an entire lifetime ago. Today, I’m sharing with you a bonus episode and it’s a bit different than usual. It’s different because I’m on the other side of the microphone in this conversation. And I loved this interview so much that I wanted to share it with you, here, on the Unhurried Living Podcast.

Enjoy other episodes of Girls Talking Life podcast with Yohonna Smith.  You can connect with them on social:
Instagram @girlstalkinglife
Facebook @girlstalkinglife

Thoughts on the Love of God

God is love. There is hardly a more meaningful sentence that short in the English language.

 

A while back I was reading C. S. Lewis about the love of God. He reminds us that for God to be love since before the beginning of time and creation, God has to be more than one person. Love is relational and requires at least two persons.

 

In fact, the Christian idea of God as three persons says that the love that the Father and the Son share is so substantial that it too is a person—the Holy Spirit. God wants us to make our home in his love as Father and Son in the Spirit.

 

Lewis also suggests we make a great mistake when we try to reverse this little sentence and say instead, “Love is God.” Then, we populate our idea of “love” with common cultural misunderstandings of love rooted mostly in feeling, romance and desire.

 

Love is so much bigger than these (and, of course, includes them). Feeling and romance can be unpredictable over time. When romantic feelings are the basis of relationships, and those romantic feelings wane over time, there seems little option other than to say, “Well, love is gone. I fell into love, but I’ve now fallen out of it. Since we all just want to be happy, I’ll just have to go see if I can’t fall in love again.”

 

The love of God is so strong that it can love even enemies. Romance and good feelings don’t have that capacity. I’m so grateful for Jesus’ beautiful vision of the Father’s love.

 

I remember and treasure the excitement and easy romance of our dating and early marriage years. I love those years. What a joy and gift they were! And I’m grateful that our love has not been limited to these experiences. This is not the standard by which our 35 years of marriage are measured. We are living in the love of God which is far more rooted and real.

 

S. Lewis put it this way: Which requires more of us? Showing love to someone when you’re living in the easy romance and high emotion of a honeymoon-like early season, or showing love when those feelings and emotions have gone quiet for a time? Choosing another’s good in the absence of feeling romantic about it is a far more beautiful and noble thing. It is substantial. It lasts. It is sustainable.

 

Our cultural definition of love is why so few marriages last beyond the years of easy romance. I have come to treasure the fine wine of love that lasts for many more years than that. I really don’t want to settle for mere grape juice. And long-time love is all rooted in a reality that is rooted in eternity.

 

Again, you are, today, loved as much as God can love you exactly as you currently find yourself. It is God’s nature. It is God’s way. And let’s allow love to become more and more our way as well.

 

Reflection: 

In what ways are you sometimes tempted to let the culture’s assumptions about love shape your own?
In what ways are you more deeply trusting in and relying on God’s love for you, just as you are today?
What would you like to ask God about these things?

 

 

Podcast 149: Tempered Resilience (Alan with Tod Bolsinger)

Most of us would agree that 2020 continues to be one of the most trying years in our adult lives. So much change. So much pain. So much conflict. I’m talking to a lot of leaders these days who are just plain tired. They are struggling to be hopeful. We need a vision of how this year could actually be an opportunity and not just a challenge. That’s why I’m especially glad to be sharing my recent conversation with Tod Bolsinger about his book, Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change. 

Many of us just might say that we’ve experienced more change in this single year than we had faced in just about any previous year. Sometimes change can be refreshing and invigorating, but a lot of the change we’ve faced this year has been painful and draining. I’ve needed to gain the perspective of living in an eternal kingdom in the midst of a very challenging season. 

That’s why I’m so glad to share a recent conversation I had with Tod Bolsinger about his latest book, Tempered Resilience. He uses the core image of a blacksmith turning scraps of iron into beautiful and useful tools to describe how God just might use seasons like the one in which we find ourselves to help us remember who we really are and to engage in the very good work God has actually entrusted to us. We have good reason to be very hopeful. 

Tod Bolsinger is the vice president and chief of leadership formation and associate professor of leadership formation at Fuller Theological Seminary. He is the author of Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory, It Takes a Church to Raise a Christian: How the Community of God Transforms Lives, and Show Time: Living Down Hypocrisy by Living Out the Faith. A frequent speaker, consultant, and blogger, he serves as an executive coach for corporate, nonprofit, educational, and church organizations in transformational leadership. Tod and his wife, Beth, have two children. 

Download an excerpt of Tod's book, "Tempered Resilience" HERE. 

Connect with Tod on social:
Facebook @Tod-Bolsinger for his blog
Facebook @Tod.Bolsinger
Twitter @todbol

How Can Love Relieve Decision Fatigue?

Do you ever suffer from decision fatigue? I have been feeling it more often lately.

 

Think about how many decisions we have to make:

 

One set of decisions: What house do I live in? What city do I move to? What job do I take? Where are my kids go to school? Where should I retire?

 

Another set of decisions: Who do I vote for? What is my involvement with social justice? How do I manage the ongoing dynamics of the pandemic?

 

And what about the mundane overwhelm of trying to choose between the multiple options of toothpaste, cereal, bread and what shirt I’m going to wear today?

 

Because of the complexity of this year, let alone the trajectory of our lives and culture, maybe it’s better to start thinking even smaller and more simple than daily. What about this moment?

 

Yes, we will continue to engage our life and make the decisions that are listed above. But when we are feeling pressed down and overwhelmed, it can be good to break it all down into smaller chunks. The smallest of which is this moment.

 

In the Great Commandment, God actually did give us a filter through which to make many of our decisions. Love God and love others as ourselves.

 

Deep down most of us intuitively know what it means to be loving. We know what it looks like. We know what it feels like. And the time for receiving and giving love is in this moment. The moment you are currently living.

 

Right now. What is happening as you are reading this? What are you in the midst of? What does love look like right now within it. Even a 30-second pause can help you pivot your heart toward God, toward love.

 

When God chose to describe himself to us he chose one word, “love.” “God is love.” God could have chosen any number of words. But love is what God chose. Yes, it’s really that simple. One thing…love.

 

So let’s experiment right now, in this moment, as you are reading this:

 

 

Right where you are.

 

Take a deep breath.

 

Say out loud, “God is love.”

 

God is loving you right now. Receive.

 

What feelings arise? What thoughts arise?

 

How does God’s love inform what happens next?

 

How can love help calm and simplify your decision fatigue in this moment?

 

Linger for a moment.

 

What is God inviting you to?

 

The great commandment is simple. God did not complicate things. We complicate things. This is the one thing: Love God. Love others as you love yourself.

 

What is one small, simple and gracious step you can take into the next moment?

 

It’s been a complicated year. Let’s keep it simple. In love.

 

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Podcast 148: Engaging the Enneagram for Formation (Gem with Mary Linam)

The Enneagram has been more widely circulating for a few years now and most of us have a basic understanding of the types. But once you learn the types, the real question is, so what? What do I now do with all of this great information? What difference can the Enneagram make in my life?

My dear friend, Mary Linam, is a trained and highly skilled Enneagram coach. I’m sharing her with you today because I want you to glean from her wisdom and to be in touch with her if you want to dig into the Enneagram further. I’ve known Mary almost as long as I’ve known Alan, and you know that’s a long time. 

Mary has taken her life with God very seriously and has made her relationship with God, and his formation of her soul, the center of her life. This is what sets her apart in this field. Mary merges her deep soul work with the process of the Enneagram. And so you get spiritual director level care as she walks you through the process. Our conversation today is out beyond the types and is more Enneagram 201 than 101. So buckle up and enjoy our conversation.

Engage deeper with enneagram with this free resource from Mary.  Download HERE. 

Learn more about Mary on social:
Facebook @mary.g.linam
Instagram @choosinggrace

Confession as Walking in the Light

In my early years as a Christian, confession wasn’t exactly something we did much. It was usually limited to situations where we felt we’d done something really bad. It was the sort of thing we imagined Christians in other traditions were all about. We didn’t want to wallow in negativity. We wanted to be positive and do good things instead. Who wouldn’t?

 

Now, in my Anglican tradition, confession is an important element of our weekly gathering in community and even our daily engagement in prayer. It is now a welcome way to be in the presence of God. 

 

Instead of being the bad news I imagined it was early in my spiritual journey, confession is good news. I don’t need to hide anything from God. (I can’t hide anything from God anyway. This is the main reason I shouldn’t bother trying!).

 

Confession isn’t rehearsing everything that is bad about us. When we confess, we are simply telling things as they are. We do so in the presence of a God who delights to show mercy (Micah 7:18), who longs to be gracious (Isaiah 30:18), and who loves us well before we confess or act in ways that invite confession.

 

In confession, we can remember that our lives are more graced than we imagine. Hiding, denial and pretending are what trap and confine us. There is grace that would empower us to more kingdom-fruitful ways of living. What a gift!

 

And so, as I titled this post, confession is simply walking in the light of reality. I really have done and said things I wish I hadn’t done and said. I really have failed to do and say things I wish I had done and said. The way forward to growing in courage and goodness is to bring these things into the light of God’s presence.

 

God can transform in me what needs it. God can heal what is broken, but it must come into the light. When I go to the doctor, I don't hide what’s wrong. Otherwise, she can’t help me much. And so we acknowledge the ways we need mercy and grace when we confess our shortcomings and line-crossings.

 

In these isolating days of COVID-19 quarantining and other limitations we are facing, being profoundly honest in the presence of God could be a place of great grace for us. Find a way to take some steps into praying a little more honestly and openly in the presence of God’s measureless love.

 

Reflection

 Is there anything about yourself that you’ve tried to hide from God? Why not take a moment to imagine God inviting you to open up in prayer. You are perfectly safe in God’s presence.
In what ways might you welcome God’s forgiveness, God’s healing, God’s guidance in your life today?

 

Photo by Natalie Grainger on Unsplash

Podcast 147: Longing for Revival (Alan with James Choung)

In the book Longing For Revival, authors James Choung and Ryan Pfeiffer remind us of a simple and encouraging reality: Revival begins with God. It happens in our lives and we cooperate with what God is doing, but God is the reviver of our souls, our communities, our world. In this season that feels so straining and wearying, God wants to refresh, renew and revitalize our lives so we can join God in the good work of the kingdom. 

Gem and I have been grateful to have been given moments of encounter with God along the way that have revitalized our souls and transformed our work. We’ve come to believe that these were moments or even season of God-given revival. We often remember these moments when we hit hard places in the journey. 

I’m so glad that James Choung and Ryan Pfeiffer have written a book to help us understand, enter into and even lead others into the reality of revival. James and I had a conversation recently about Longing For Revival, which I’m pleased to be able to share with you today. 

Rev. Dr. James Choung serves as Vice President of Strategy & Innovation — overseeing evangelism, discipleship, planting, growth, missions, multiethnic initiatives, and the Creative Labs — at InterVarsity Christian Fellowship USA. He is also ordained with the Vineyard USA, and has written both True Story: A Christianity Worth Believing In and its follow-up, Real Life: A Christianity Worth Living Out. He speaks frequently at campuses, churches, seminaries, and conferences, and teaches seminary classes on culture, leadership development and evangelism. James, his wife and two sons live in Los Angeles, CA. 

Check out James' book HERE with the first chapter free from InterVarsity Press.

Connect with James on social:
Facebook @jameschoung
Instagram @jameschoung
Twitter @jameschoung