Alan Fadling's Blog, page 19

4 More Reasons We Don't Rest Well

Blog by Alan Fadling

Two weeks ago, I sent out “Three Reasons We Don’t Rest Well.” Today I’ll share four more reasons I’ve found it hard to embrace God’s gift of rest.

 

Reason #4: We have an identity resistance to nonproductive time.

A lot of us only know how to measure our time in terms of getting things done. Whether at work or at home or in our personal lives, we feel we must always be in production mode.

 

Maybe we tell ourselves that “time is money.” According to that idea, resting is a waste. But time could be defined differently. We could tell ourselves that “time is love.” We could realize that letting ourselves be loved by God, loving God back, and sharing that love with those around us requires a restful soul.

 

So one vision of time is focused on acquisition and accomplishment, while the other is focused on expressing genuine care toward God and others.

 

If I believe that my identity is something I need to achieve by what I do, what I acquire, or who I impress, then I will always feel the need to keep doing more things and chasing more goals and impressing more and more people. But if I see my identity as a generous gift from the Father that I bring into my world to bless others, then I’ll discover that alongside the good gift of work, God is also giving me the gift of deep rest for my body and my soul.

 

As I’ve said before, if I am what I do, then time set aside to rest well will feel like an exercise in emptiness.

 

Reason #5: Our culture tends to be rest-resistant.

n general, I’ve found that our culture–including our work cultures and even our faith cultures--can be very driven. This pressure is always pushing against us and can keep us from making time for regular rhythms of daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly rest.

 

Most of us have been taught, either directly or indirectly, how important work is. Few of us have had anyone teach or mentor us in good rest habits. One of the reasons we began Unhurried Living was to provide modeling, teaching, and training in Jesus’ good rhythms of rest and work.

 

Resting well might be one of the most countercultural intentions to pursue, but it also might be one of the greatest gifts we give our world. God made us to desire deep rest, and our souls don’t thrive when we’re exhausted.

 

Reason #6: We postpone rest.

When I think back over the different chapters of my life, I realize how in each of them I often assumed that rest was impossible for one reason or another.

 

We tell ourselves things like:

 

“I’ll rest when I get out of school.”

“I’ll rest when I get settled in my job.”

“I’ll rest when the kids grow up and leave the house.”

“I’ll rest when I retire.”

 

“I’ll rest when…” is ultimately a way of saying “I’ll rest never.” There will always be a reason not to rest.

 

I’ve come to believe that just as scripture says that “today” is the day of salvation, “today” is also a good day to enter into the rest God is giving us in the present moment, the present day, the present season. There is always a way to receive God’s gift of rest. It’s good to remember that rest may look different in each season, but postponing rest is not our best option.

 

Reason #7: We simply don’t know how to rest.

It can be easy to remember those people who have taught us how to work hard, but it may be far more difficult to remember people who were good examples of a deeply restful life.

 

As a kid, I was resistant to doing chores and other work. Work didn’t come naturally and I had to learn how to work. I’ve also had to learn how to rest, but I don’t remember any authority figures from my childhood or even my young adulthood teaching me how to rest. God gave commands and guidance about Sabbath because he knows we need it.

 

Don’t be hard on yourself if you find it difficult to rest. Instead, ask yourself, “How might I learn to rest well?” Or make it a matter of prayer and ask, “Lord, would you teach me how to rest in the ways you’ve been inviting me to do?”

 

In summary, here are the seven reasons we struggle to rest well: 

We have a distorted image of God.
We are overtired.
We mistake numbing for resting.
We have an identity resistance to nonproductive time.
Our culture tends to be rest-resistant.
We postpone rest.
We simply don’t know how to rest.

 

For Reflection:

Does one or more of these reasons sound especially familiar to you? Why don’t you set aside a little time in the next day or two to talk with God about that. Ask God how he would like to shepherd you to places of rest and refreshment in your life.

 

ICDT #92: Your WAY Matters

 

I want what Jim has.

This is the phrase 17-year-old Alan, my husband, uttered as he made one of his first moves into the Christian life.

I have always loved hearing Alan share about the first time he went forward in a church to receive Christ. I’ve heard this story multiple times and I’m always struck by how simple and heartfelt Alan’s desire was. We’ll talk more about this today…

BREATHE: A Spiritual Practice

Blog by Gem Fadling

Breathing. We breathe all day long without giving it a thought. It’s just one of the many astounding aspects of our God-given bodies. I’m grateful for all the processes that continue to keep me healthy and alive, aren’t you?

 

Today, using the word BREATHE, I’m going to guide you in a spiritual practice that you can use in the middle of any given day. We’ll make the unconscious, conscious and give our souls space to breathe.

 

We’re going to dive right into this practice, so if you can, get comfortable in your chair and close your eyes. This is meant to be used in the middle of a regular day.

 

We’ll allow the letters in the word BREATHE to bring us into the present moment and engage with God.

 

As we begin, let’s take a deep breath. And really take your time on the exhale…

 

Let’s BREATHE together and we’ll start with the letter B.

 

B

Be

Be here

Not somewhere else

Not some time else

Now

Here

Be

 

R

Relax

Relax your shoulders

Relax your eyes

Relax your jaw

Relax your belly

Relax your mind

Relax

 

E

Encounter

Encounter God

Remember you are not alone

God is not elsewhere

God is with you

Right here

Right now

Encounter

 

A

Awaken

Awaken to your emotions

Are you anxious?

Are you joyful?

Are you sad?

Do you feel rushed?

Happy?

Frustrated?

God is with you as you feel this

Awaken to God’s presence

Awaken

 

T

Thank

Thank God for being with you

Thank God for this moment of respite

Thank God for reminding you to pause

Thank God for whatever is in your heart

Gratitude is a natural attitude shifter

Thank

 

H

Hope

Hope in God

Hoping in circumstances is shifting sand

But hoping in God strengthens you

Ask God for help

You are not alone

Trust God to care for you

Hope

 

E

Engage

Engage your life with more peace

Resume your task with a lighter heart

Reenter a relationship with a little more perspective

Engage from a place of grace

Engage at the pace of grace

Engage

 

Be

Relax

Encounter

Awaken

Thank

Hope

Engage

 

B R E A T H E

 

Reflection

If you only had time right now to simply read this email, that’s okay. My invitation is for you to set aside time this week to try this on. Take five minutes, sit in a chair, close your eyes, and practice BREATHE-ing.

3 Reasons We Don't Rest Well

Blog by Alan Fadling

My first book, An Unhurried Life, which had its tenth anniversary last year, has the subtitle “Following Jesus' Rhythms of Work and Rest.” Knowing our great cultural struggle to rest well in the current season, I might have suggested transposing the order of two words: “Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Rest and Work.” It’s not that rest is more important than work. It’s that real rest is so neglected these days.

 

Many of us are perhaps feeling our need for real rest more today than ever before. Getting better sleep, setting aside a day each week not to measure productivity or accomplishment, even guarding some weeks each year to rest deeply—these are things most of us still struggle to do.

 

I’d like to propose seven reasons we don’t rest well. I’ve struggled with each of these when entering into the gift of rest that God has always been offering me. Some of these may ring true for you as well. I hope naming them will help you move through these resistances, misbeliefs, and challenges to a place of deeper rest with God for both body and soul.

 

Each of these seven reasons represents a misunderstanding about work and rest, a misbelief about myself and God, or a challenge that confronts me, creating resistance to real rest.

 

Reason #1: We have a distorted image of God.

We may discover that our gut image of God is of a God who only gives us work. Especially when it comes to engaging with the important work of God’s kingdom, we might imagine that our only faithful way forward is to work until we drop. There was a saying that leaders I looked up to were fond of proclaiming: “I’d rather burn out than rust out for God.” It sounded quite noble and profoundly virtuous.

 

But these days I find myself asking, Are those really the only two options available to us? Are my only choices to waste my life by rusting out or to destroy my life by burning out? Was this the way Jesus lived in his three and a half years of ministry?

 

Even as we learn to work hard in the gracious guidance and profound empowering of God’s grace, we would do well to remember Psalm 23 where David reminds us, “The Lord is my shepherd.” My shepherd and your shepherd.

 

In that psalm, David describes God as a shepherd who makes us lie down in green pastures, who leads us beside quiet waters, and who refreshes our souls. Can you hear God’s concern for our souls--for our refreshment and rest? Why doesn’t this vision of God do more to shape how we understand what it looks like to be a part of God’s work in the world?

 

We would learn to rest well if our image of God was seasoned by this Psalm 23 language. We would rest better if we remembered that Jesus once said to his busy and harried disciples, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

 

Reason #2: We are overtired.

That may sound a little ridiculous to some of us. When you’re really tired, what else can you do but rest? But I’ve sometimes found that I am too tired to rest well. Entering into rest requires at least some intentionality and effort. When I’m overspent, overwhelmed, and overtired, I don’t have energy for even a small amount of effort.

 

The writer of Hebrews says there is “a Sabbath-rest for the people of God” (4:9) and urges us to “make every effort to enter that rest “(4:11). “That rest” we are invited into is God’s own rest (4:10).

 

When I’m exhausted, it seems easier to just escape into a series of YouTube videos or to binge-watch a show for hours. To do what would actually refresh, renew or restore us takes some time and effort. We might give ourselves a chance to slow down enough inside to read a good book. We might go outside and watch for the creative care of God around us. We might turn off our devices and settle into a good conversation with a friend. Good rest requires effort, and when we’re overtired, the effort can feel like too much for us.

 

Reason #3: We mistake numbing for resting.

The ways we use food, the internet, our devices, the television, or any number of other substances or experiences to escape our weariness are not the same as resting well. When we’re numb, we may not feel tired, but that’s not the same as finding rest. In fact, when whatever we do to numb finally wears off (as all numbing behaviors do), we usually feel even more tired.

 

It's never been easier to waste time on empty activities. We can turn on any one of the many streaming services available today, and the autoplay function will keep us occupied indefinitely. We can open YouTube or Facebook, and again, autoplay will provide us with video clips that the platform’s algorithm predicts we’ll find intriguing.

 

But when we come to the end of these mindless moments of escape, we need to ask ourselves whether we feel refreshed, renewed, restored, or reenergized. Those four words describe what happens when we actually rest well.

 

In two weeks, I’ll share four more reasons we struggle to rest well.

 

For Reflection:

Does one of these reasons sound especially familiar to you? Why don’t you set aside a little time in the next day or two and talk with God about it. Ask God how he would like to shepherd you to places of rest and refreshment in your life.

 

ICDT #91: 5 Simple and Soulful Practices

 

It’s near the beginning of the calendar year and, for some, it feels like a fresh start. Most of us are long past making resolutions. We’ve come to see that they don’t last and are followed up by shame and guilt. I haven’t made resolutions for years.

 

But I thought it might be good to share with you a few simple ways you could plan for some soul care in an ongoing way. These ideas are bottom shelf and that’s good. It’s always wise to begin small and build habits.

 

I mention a couple resources in this episode. Here are those links:

An Unhurried Time with God guide
Annual  Examen guide

 

Soaking in Scripture

Blog by Gem Fadling

Many of you have likely heard of a way of engaging scripture called Lectio Divina. It is a kind of “Divine Reading.” What I love about Lectio Divina is that it is a slow and formational way of engaging the Bible. It can help us move from our heads to our hearts. Lectio Divina is reflective, meditative, receptive, and responsive.

 

The four movements of Lectio Divina are: 

Read (Lectio)
Reflect (Meditatio)
Respond (Oratio)
Rest (Contemplatio)

 

With Lectio Divina, rather than gathering information, we seek to allow God to meet us in our hearts and minds in a spirit of transformation. We allow ourselves to sink into the passage…to linger…to think, yes, but also to feel and to experience.

 

Let’s begin with a little “Lectio 101,” and then I will walk you through the practice using Psalm 73:23-26.

 

First, choose a brief passage of scripture. A portion of a psalm is a great place to begin. Then make your way through the four movements of Lectio Divina.

 

Read (Lectio)

Read the scripture aloud once through without stopping. Take time to listen. Notice a phrase or two. Underline it or write it down if you like.

 

Reflect (Meditatio)

Read the scripture aloud a second time. Notice anything new that captures your attention. Or maybe your underlined phrase remains your focus. Allow it to soak in a bit. Chew on it for a few moments in the same way you would savor your favorite meal.  

 

Respond (Oratio)

Read the scripture aloud a third time. Notice what happens in your heart as you read. What do you feel? What desires, questions, or requests emerge? Allow a prayer to bubble up from inside. Respond naturally to the passage in the context of relationship with God.

 

Rest (Contemplatio)

Take a few moments to be with God. Rest in God’s loving presence. No agenda. Just relationship. Let God enjoy your presence as you enjoy God’s.

 

Remember to take your time with this. Give yourself space to breathe between each movement.

 

The essence of Lectio Divina is to allow ourselves to be seen by God through the scriptures and then to respond by offering ourselves back to God, who is love.

 

Practice

So, with that brief Lectio Divina primer, let’s try it on together with Psalm 73:23-26 as our focus. Read the passage three times and make your way through the process between each reading.

 

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:23-26)

 

On your first reading, take time to listen deeply. Notice a phrase or two. Underline it or write it down if you like.

 

Read the passage a second time and take time to reflect. Notice anything new that captures your attention. Or maybe your underlined phrase remains your focus. Allow it to soak in a bit. Chew on it for a few moments in the same way you would savor your favorite meal.

 

Read the passage a third time and take time to respond. Notice what happens in your heart as you read. What do you feel? What desires, questions, or requests emerge? Allow a prayer to bubble up from inside. Respond naturally to the passage in the context of relationship.

 

And now we turn to the important movement of rest. Take a few moments to be with God. Rest in God’s loving presence. No agenda. Just relationship. Let God enjoy your presence as you enjoy God’s.

 

I hope you’ll return to this practice and allow yourself to sink into the process of Divine Reading. It’s a relatively simple pattern that allows you to take a few verses and really soak in them, allowing the Spirit to form you further into the image of Christ.

 

Reflection

Assuming you simply read this email and didn’t have time to practice it yet…my invitation to you now is that you try on this practice sometime this week. Give yourself the gift of soaking in scripture and notice what happens in your heart, mind, and body.

God-With-Us at Christmas

Blog by Alan Fadling

We hope you’ve enjoyed a very happy Christmas this year. 

 

One of our favorite remembrances during the Christmas holiday is that Jesus comes to us as Immanuel, “God with us.” The reality that God is not a distant deity or an unavailable parent in heaven encourages us. God is right here with us, closer to us that we are to ourselves. 

 

In this holiday season, we send along our prayer that you will grow to know and rely on the loving presence of God-with-you in all your moments. 

 

May God’s empowering presence, his measureless generosity and his great goodness be with you. God seeks you before ever you seek him. And may grace bear the fruit of deep well-being, freedom from anxious care, and a soul at rest in the Presence of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen! 

 

An unhurried Christmas to you!

Merry Christmas from Alan and Gem

Today we simply want to say thank you. Thank you for traveling with us on this path of being formed into the image of Christ.

 

We do not take you for granted. We think of you and pray for you often (even though we don’t know most of you personally). 

 

As we pour out our hearts week by week, our intention is to help, encourage, and inspire you as you live your daily life with God.

 

In this season of Advent, our hearts are full because we know you are seeking Jesus, along with us.

 

Our simple prayer is this:

 

May Jesus, the Prince of Peace, guard your heart and fill your life with love. May God, our Father, bless you with all spiritual blessings, and may the Holy Spirit continually draw you into the everlasting love of the Trinity.

 

Love and blessings to you. Merry Christmas!

ICDT #90: Breathe: A Spiritual Practice

 

Breathing. It’s as natural as, well, breathing. We breathe all day long without giving it a thought. It’s just one of the many astounding aspects of our God-given bodies. I’m grateful for all the processes that continue to keep me healthy and alive, aren’t you? 

 

Today, using the word BREATHE, I’m going to guide you in a spiritual practice that you can use in the middle of any given day. We’ll make the unconscious, conscious and give our souls space to breathe.

Resting in Busy Seasons

Blog by Alan Fadling

I have been working with my practice of Sabbath for some time now. I still don’t feel like an expert, but I am certainly a grateful student. Recently, I read a line in Exodus that felt especially timely: 

 

Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest.

Exodus 34:21

 

What struck me in this passage is that Sabbath is a practice for us even when we are in busier seasons of our work. For God’s people in the days of the Exodus, it would have been understandably tempting to work daily in the intense seasons of planting and of harvest. But God knew this was especially when his people needed rest for their souls. 

 

God encourages us (commands us, really) to observe the Sabbath even when it’s hard to do, even when we’re in a busy season. Maybe God wants us to realize that we especially need the Sabbath in such seasons. Putting Sabbath off might do harm to our souls and our communities. 

 

In seasons of intense productivity or profit, we may need even more the rest that reminds us that we are not what we do, but instead are beloved sons and daughters of our Father in heaven. In moments when we are most tempted to believe that we are indispensable or that our work is unavoidable, we need the reminder that the world will go on without us. 

 

That’s not bad news but good. It is a great burden to believe that the universe is desperately in need of my activities and initiatives. A year ago, in the midst of Gem preparing to launch her new book, Hold That Thought, and her refreshed membership for women, Replenish, we stepped completely away for our annual sabbatical month (July). 

 

It was hard to do. It was hard to put these intensive parts of her work on pause. But it was necessary. We are not what we harvest. We are not what we produce. We are not what we achieve. We are God’s beloved daughters and sons who do good work and produce good fruit. 

 

When we find ourselves in very busy seasons, the practice of Sabbath reminds us of these things. When our lives and work are most intense, this is when we most need the gift of Sabbath. It requires a great deal of faith to do it, but it is faith well-placed. 

 

I can’t think of a busy season when I observed a Sabbath or taken a retreat and afterwards wished I hadn’t. Never. Instead, I’ve often been surprised at the grace that arose when I returned to my work. It has always been good when I’ve honored the rhythm of Sabbath in my busiest seasons of work. 

 

In all of this, I invite you to start exactly where you are today. Continue good habits of Sabbath rest even if, and especially when, things are busier for you. Experiment with saying “No” when everything in you feels pressured to say “Yes.” 

 

Experiment with deepening your commitment to daily moments of rest, weekly experiences of Sabbath, monthly times to step aside to be alone with God in retreat, perhaps even annual blocks of time to reflect on the year before and listen to God for the year ahead. These will serve you well, especially when your work is at its fullest. 

 

I believe this commitment will bear more fruit than constant work can. 

 

For Reflection: 

When have you found yourself in a more intense season? How were you able (or how did you struggle) to make space for good rest in those seasons? 
How might God be inviting you to practice good rhythms of rest, especially if it feels hard to do in your current season? 

 

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash