Pamela Foster's Blog, page 5
August 2, 2017
Bitter
“Woman’s virtue is man’s greatest invention.” Germaine Greer
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Four years ago – when Jack began falling, when I first noticed the tremor in his left hand, when his vision began to deteriorate faster than the VA could order him new glasses, and his personality began to travel paths I’d never seen him trod – that long four years ago when I began to realize our golden years were going to be a bit different than we’d planned, I comforted myself with the belief that this adventure too, while not of...
August 1, 2017
Advice
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Since Jack was diagnosed with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, an un-treatable, progressive, and ultimately, fatal disease, everyone has advice on how to cure him. Well, everyone but every single medical personnel. The advice of the neurologist was to get his affairs in order, to make those end-of-life decisions we all avoid, and to get his wishes on paper and properly notarized. But, friends, acquaintances, loved ones, compassionate strangers – these folks seek hope for him and pass this adv...
June 4, 2017
Catch 22
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A lot of people think the Veteran’s Administration is an unwieldy bureaucracy set up to help veterans. In my experience this is true of most of the individuals who work at the VA. But the organization itself is set up to do as little as possible for veterans while creating the illusion of a deep concern for those who fight our unending wars. Without this slide-of-hand, along with the flag waving and parades, far fewer young men and women would join the military.
There is a battle raging righ...
May 31, 2017
Post-Memorial Day Musings
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This past weekend was Memorial Day, a time set aside to honor our war dead with parades and fluttering flags upon their graves, and hopefully, with solemn remembrance of who they were and what might have been.
Jack fell on Saturday night, a fall that badly bruised his back and shoulder and arm and required the help of EMTs to get him on his feet. This happens frequently but always leaves me a bit stunned, knowing the next fall might well be life changing. I spent the weekend thinking of the...
May 15, 2017
Mother’s Day Musing
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There are those who believe in reincarnation. If so, I have returned again and again to the coastal land between Freshwater Lagoon and Richardson Grove in what is now northern California. Each lagoon offers fog-wrapped memories of nights under stars. Each river mouth births hazy memories of salmon runs. Every rocky guardian of the shoreline whispers of feasts provided by the sea.
Because my husband, Jack, has recently received a diagnoses of Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, we have spent a go...
November 15, 2016
Healing
This morning, CBS interviewed a group of people who voted for Trump. I watched and listened because I know full well that understanding these individuals is the key to my healing. That seems a bizarre statement to make after a presidential election. That healing is needed. I get that. I’m sixty-six. This is not the first election I’ve seen go to the ‘other side.’
This one was different for a variety of reasons. Social media is a big factor. Lots of fake or maybe worse, very slanted, news on...
November 10, 2016
Line in the Sand
The election is over and I’m taking the election of The Orange Man personally.
Every single person who walked into a voting booth and voted for the man who bragged of being a sexual predator, and I’m not just talking the pussy-grabbing incident, the old orange fart bragged on the radio to his good buddy and fellow degenerate Howard Stern about walking into the dressing room to peek at naked girls as young as fifteen – every single person who overlooked and justified his actions condoned sexu...
October 10, 2016
What I wanted Hillary to do
Here’s what I wanted Hillary to do last night.
I wanted her to turn to the man stalking her from behind, the man so used to using his physical self to over-power women, that he saw nothing wrong with his behavior, I wanted her to turn around, look him in the eye and say simply,
“I am uncomfortable with you standing this close to me. Back off while I am speaking.”
Having worked for years in brokerage and banking, I have been that woman on that stage – competent, intelligent, hardworking – usi...
October 6, 2016
The Power of The Great Bear
The Great Bear appears in many of my stories and novels. For Indigenous peoples of North America, Bear has always held strong spiritual medicine.
Left alone, Bear goes about her life foraging quietly, caring for her young, perhaps enjoying the sun and rain and fog in much the same way as I do. But, anyone who has ever wandered a rugged path, or wove their way along the edge of a forest or blackberry patch and come upon one of these great beasts knows the instinctual terror that cramps the be...
August 25, 2016
Willful Ignorance
The harsh smell of Camel unfiltereds rose in waves from Grandma’s white wool, very scratchy, coat. I sat on her lap, facing the windshield of Grandpa’s new, already-dust-caked 1950 GMC truck. Her arm tight around my waist, cigarette scissored in the V of her fingers, a tiny pungent smoke signal wafted past my nose. I liked to twist around and watch her exhale the warm smoke through her nose like some elegant dragon. Grandpa dangled his hand out the open window, left a smoke trail to mix with...
