Susan Call's Blog, page 9

6 Empowering Facts About Willpower That You Need To Know

Battery Power.

Ugh 46%! That was it. It wasn’t even lunch time and that was the pitiful number displayed on my cell phone reflecting remaining battery life. And of course, this would be the day I didn’t have access to a charger. In our instant access world, I’ll be honest – it made me a bit anxious. After all, how would it last for the rest of the day?

I did the familiar drill – I closed any apps that I knew were running.  Then, I preceded to check if there was anything else running in the background in hopes of helping my battery make as long as possible. Do you know that drill too? Some days you know just the trick. Other days, we aren’t so lucky.

Willpower.

Over the weekend my old cell phone came to mind when I was pondering the concept willpower.  I can’t help but think that sometimes I’ve felt a bit like that old cellphone battery. On any given day, I might wake up with the best intentions, fully charged, “game on” for whatever change I was pursuing. But by the end of the day, those same intentions were nothing but a vapor leaving me with zero resolve starring down infamous monster of emotional eating.

But your monster could be shopping, spending time online or any other vice that steps in where the desire for change once attempted to take root. I’d ask you if it were only me, but based on the conversations I’ve had with friends and family I know I’m not alone.

What causes us to spiral so quickly from “today is the day” to feeling helplessly off track by 7pm? We often blame our willpower. But are we using it as our scapegoat? Are we allowing ourselves to believe that somehow we could succeed if only we didn’t have insufficient willpower? I know I did for years. Maybe if we shift our perspective on it, we could build our resolve and impact our progress.

6 Empower Facts About Willpower:
1. Willpower is not a superpower.

We often say “if only I had more willpower.” We convince ourselves that it’s the key to the progress we desire. We’d lose the weight we’d want to, we’d save more money, we’d… fill in the blank. But having more willpower will not give you the strength of superman. It’s not a super power that you can simply tap into to conquer the world. We need to stop putting all of our hopes in to the one basket labelled “willpower” because if we think it’s our only hope for lasting change, we’ll miss other areas of strength and support.  Let go of the notion that having stronger willpower is the secret to success.

2. Willpower is finite.

Did you know willpower depletion is a real thing? In fact a study by the American Psychological Association found that typically when someone emotional eats, they aren’t suffering as a result of their mood or emotions being out of control but rather their resolve has been challenged by people or situations which deplete the individual’s energy causing them to make chooses that align with a lack of willpower. When we’re depleted, our choices may suffer. But just like my cell phone’s battery could be recharged, we can recharge our resolve through our choices.

3. Willpower can become fatigued.

Studies by the American Psychological Association have shown that our willpower can become strained, much like a muscle does with over use. If we regularly put ourselves in situations where we’re faced with temptation, our ability to resist it can diminish. If we’re trying to avoid eating the wrong foods, having those foods in our pantry will cause us to repeatedly need willpower to ignore it. But, if those same temptations aren’t in our house at all, the tension is greatly reduced. Be conscious of the areas where you struggle. How can you adapt your environment to avoid regular temptation that will deplete your resolve?

4. Willpower can be supported, increased and strengthened.

Just because you had that meltdown that ended with an innocent half of a pan of brownies as a casualty, doesn’t mean you’ve been diagnosed with “weak willpower” and can’t ever change.  One of the best ways to strengthen your willpower is to build habits into your life that support your choices. If you struggle with spending too much time online or watching TV, give yourself a daily limit and make that your habit. Or, If you struggle with exercise, schedule which days you go to the gym before the week starts and let the habit drive your behavior. Maybe food is your challenge, your established habit could be planning your meals ahead or doing meal prep for the week on the weekend making sticking to your plan much easier on your busy weeknights. The more positive behaviors that you can set as habits, the easier the lift will be on your resolve to keep you on track.

 5. Your willpower is impacted by your beliefs and values.

Positive attitude, mood and your beliefs impact your willpower. If you have struggled with your resolve, you can use your attitude and mood as your portable chargers. Engage in activities that reinforce your beliefs and values while nurturing your mood and emotional health. Don’t underestimate the power of your faith. Definitely don’t forget the obvious – pray for the strength you need. A positive attitude and belief system has been proven to diminish the impact of willpower depletion while helping to strengthen and restore it. If you feel your mood souring, be conscious of the impact that may have on your ability to resist temptations. When you adjust your attitude, your willpower will benefit.

6. The right motivation can overcome weak willpower.

Over the past year I have heard many motivational speakers talk about the “why.” Really get to the root of your why. If you’re trying to lose weight and need willpower to help, why do you want to lose the weight? If you’re struggling with an addiction or over spending, why do you want to change? Answer it truthfully to yourself. Don’t settle for the “surfacy” or “churchy” sounding answer. Really answer why. Keep your why close at hand for the moments you feel weak. If it helps, read your why at the times of day when you are most tempted. Researchers have found that people with depleted willpower but the right strong motivation can overcome temptation despite feeling vulnerable.

Your turn:

It’s time to stop letting weak willpower be the elephant in the room. Stop letting it stand in the middle of your desire to change or grow in an area of your life. Let go of using is as an excuse. Recognize when you’re depleted. Don’t rely on it to save the day but instead strengthen it by nurturing a positive attitude. And no matter what area of your life you struggle with, remember that God IS bigger!

The next time you catch yourself saying “if only I had more willpower” stop yourself, adjust, implement new positive habits, pray, and move forward. Be free to change and grow knowing you don’t need to be limited by your willpower, instead you can choose to be supported by it.

If this post encouraged you, I’d love to hear from you! Have you struggled with willpower in the past? And, has this post helped you look at it differently?

And, don’t forget to sign up for my blog email list so that you don’t miss a dose of encouragement. Please consider clicking to share this on social media so that your friends can be encouraged too.

Other posts you may enjoy:

Feeling Salty? 3 Things You Can Do to Shift Your Perspective
3 Secrets an Ironman Taught Me About Perspective
How a Pop Quiz Can Change Your Perspective on Self-Talk

 

The post 6 Empowering Facts About Willpower That You Need To Know appeared first on Susan Call.

5 Steps to Take When You Need Direction

“Satellites Not Found” my GPS rudely informed me as I pulled out of the parking garage in an unfamiliar part of the city. Anxiety swelled like a wave of worry ready to consume me. Tired and traveling alone, I wasn’t up for exploring in a strange place. Instead, I just wanted to get home preferably with the shortest route possible. My mind raced. Which direction should I go? How was I going to find my way? As I inched my care out of the garage, “turn left” broke my thoughts. My GPS came through! Now I could confidently navigate the way. Without it, I’d most definitely had gotten lost.

That simple situation I found myself in provides such a profound illustration. While I remained parked in the garage, my GPS couldn’t’ give me direction to continue on my journey. I needed to move, to set myself in motion first. Then and only then, when I was already moving could I find out what my next move needed to be to continue to my desired destination.

Life’s Parking Garages

When we get stuck in life, it’s easy to pull into a spiritual and emotional parking garage. There between the streets of overwhelmed and uncertainty, we curl up on the comfy couch of life, “parking” where it feels safe. Unfortunately, none of us are immune to feeling that way. We all seem to have our moments or seasons like that. Recently I’ve talked to several people who said they’ve been working to come out of a season of stuck. Maybe you are too?

When we park there, the road in front of us can feel more like a mountain than an exit from our stuck place. We want God to not just show up and give us direction, but we’d almost wish he’d show up as a Holy Ghost Uber driver and personally deliver us to our purpose or destination of our choice.

But, have you ever noticed that when we find ourselves tucked in a spiritual fetal position, God doesn’t typically push us into movement? Rather He seems far more likely to show up when we do. When we commit to taking a step, He’s faithful to guide it.

So what do you do when you find yourself overwhelmed or parked rather than pursuing your purpose? What do you do if you’ve been stuck in an emotional or spiritual parking garage minimizing your impact and effectiveness? Try these steps to get moving in the right direction once again.

5 steps can help you get back on track:
1. Decide you do not want to be stuck.

Are you ready to commit to moving forward? Tell a friend, mark your calendar, write it in your journal, or put a sticky note on your mirror. The first step is decide you’re done being where you are, because only once you decide you are finished being stuck, you can press “go” and begin your journey.

2. Pray.

God already knows right where you are so why not ask Him for help? Ask and it will be given to you (Luke 11:9 NIV) Where are you struggling? Be real with Him and listen for His whisper. He will answer.

3. Connect with friends and family.

Connect, really connect with friends or family. Go beyond the simple “hey you came to mind” on Facebook, but find time to connect in person with someone close to you, someone you can be real with. There’s power in genuine connection. It breaks the sense of isolation that “stuck” tries to burden us with.

4. Take your first step.

I’m willing to bet that you may already know what your next step is but you’ve been afraid to take it. Don’t let insecurity keep you parked when you could be making progress on your journey. Refuse to be deterred. If you don’t know what you need to do next, pray, listen, then follow through. Take your next step. You don’t have to have it all figured out to start.

5. Repeat. 

Life is a journey. You need to continue to take one step after the next. “Stuck” will try to lure you back to “comfortable” where you just were. Instead repeat all of the steps until you are firmly on your journey leaving your “parking garage” behind.

Have a great week! Get out of your parking garage and enjoy the journey.

I’d love to hear from you! What do you do when you feel stuck? What has worked to help get you moving, or what from today’s blog do you think will help you the most?

Encouraged by today’s post, why not share and encourage your friends.

A few other posts you might enjoy:

Stuck? In a Rut? Try These 6 Practical Tips
3 Traps that will Keep You Stuck
The next thing you might need to do – Stop Waiting!

The post 5 Steps to Take When You Need Direction appeared first on Susan Call.

5 Things You Can Get Rid of and Never Miss

Have you ever been randomly reminded of something from years ago and instantly be transported back to a different time and place? That happened to me the other day. One minute I was cleaning my garage, getting rid of “stuff” and the next I was staring down a swollen river with my horse drawn wagon as storm clouds threatened. My traveling companions were sick with typhoid, cholera and dysentery. I knew the trip wasn’t going any better than the prior ones. Sure enough just like all of the other times, it ultimately ended the same way “Everyone in your party has died. Many wagons fail to make it all the way to Oregon.”

Of course I didn’t really have a horse drawn wagon or that pitiful fate. It was only a virtual team in the game The Oregon Trail. While I never did navigate successfully all the way to Oregon, it didn’t take me long to realize that what you carried with you impacted how successfully you traveled.

If you never played the Oregon Trail, each game started with the strategic choices of what supplies you thought could help you make it from Missouri all the way to Oregon traveling as they did in the mid-1800s. The amount of food, ammunition, and entertainment (via items such a banjo), impacted the success, or in my case the lack of success of your journey.

Staring down the clutter in my garage, I realized that while times have changed, in many ways it’s still the same. What we pack, what we carry impacts how we make our journey. What do we allow ourselves to be burdened with that we could do without? My efforts to tame my clutter resulted in a car full of donations and a trashcan full of “history.” Letting go of the things that had collected dust for more years than I care to share has been remarkably freeing. It’s easy to find things that we can get rid of and never miss.

5 Things You Can Get Rid of and Never Miss
1. Books that you won’t read again.

There are some books that have sentimental value. Others you know you will read, re-read or use as a reference in the future. Then there are the other books on your shelf. If you’re like me, you’ve got more than a few books in the last category. Why do we keep those? Free up the space and let go of books that are just collecting dust. This weekend I took 3 boxes of books to Good Will. Now, it’s your turn. Why not lighten your load by blessing someone else. Donate your books to the charity of your choice.

2. Unmatched lids.

You haven’t found the container for that round green lid in your cupboard despite looking for it for months. Free your cabinets of unwanted clutter and ditch the unmatched lids! Recycle them and give them life outside of your kitchen. Many companies have developed sustainable products that turn one man’s trash into another’s treasure.

3. Makeup or medication past its time.

The makeup and other contents of your medicine cabinet have expiration dates. When was the last time you read the labels and tossed the ones passed their prime? Mascara has a shelf life of 3 months and sunscreen just six months. Not sure what’s too old? No worries, checkout some guidelines online.

4. Shoes that are uncomfortable or don’t really fit.

We like how they looked in the store. They may be super quite. We’ve tried to convince ourselves they weren’t that uncomfortable. Or maybe we wore them once to a cousin’s wedding but they haven’t seen the light of day since. Stop letting them take up real-estate in your closet. If they’re in good shape donate them if not, toss them. Stop keeping things you won’t wear again.

5. Electronics you don’t use.

Do you have old cell phones, old charging cords, headphones, a spare blender, or other electronics tucked in a drawer, cabinet or closet that you can’t even remember the last time you used it? Let it go. Most electronics can be recycled. And, your old cell phones can be donated to help someone trying to break free from domestic abuse. It’s a win-win –  free up space from clutter and you could help save a life!

You don’t have to stop with these five ideas. Extend your letting go to half completed craft projects, clothes that don’t fit, appliances you don’t use or old knickknacks or souvenirs that lost their sentimental value years ago.  You’ll be amazed how you feel lighter, your house feels lighter, and you don’t miss the “stuff.”

Looking for ways to help you let go and declutter?

Check out this post: 10 Tips for Taming Your Clutter.

Have you found spring cleaning equally freeing? Have you found tricks to de-clutter or get rid of things you won’t miss? Or, has this inspired you? I’d love to hear from you.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, please be sure to share and sign up for my email list so that you don’t miss a dose of encouragement.

The post 5 Things You Can Get Rid of and Never Miss appeared first on Susan Call.

3 Important Reasons You Should Share Your Story

I woke with a startle. This was one day that I couldn’t afford to be late. A team at work planned to meet to travel together to a large training session for our clients in preparation for a major software release. Just a new college grad in entry level role, I was only attending in a support capacity. But instead of waking early as I had planned, I was jolted awake realizing I had slept straight through my alarm. Rather than delay the group, I called to let them know I’d drive directly to the venue instead of carpooling with them.

Although traffic was extra unbearable that morning, somehow I managed to arrive with several minutes to spare. My relief instantly transformed into panic when the harried event planner greeted me. “Susan, I’m so glad you’re here. The trainers were in a car accident. We need you to run the training.”

That was my first, and rather memorable step into the world of public speaking.  I once read that many people rank the fear of public speaking higher than the fear of death. At the same time, over 80% of people say that they want to write a book. Sharing our story either through speaking or writing can sound both intriguing and completely daunting at the same time. We tremble, our voice quivers, and our palms may even get sweaty. Add to that the fear of rejection and it’s easy to understand why it can feel so overwhelming to share our story. Overcoming that fear comes with great benefit.

3 Important reasons to share your story:
It reminds you how far you’ve come.

As a child, my family had a doorway where my parents would periodically mark how tall we were. It felt so good to see the small lines with my name inch up the wall over time. Even the smallest incremental growth showed that I wasn’t where I used to be. Sharing your story does the same. It reminds you that you’re not where you were before and allows you to see how far you’ve come.

It reminds you of answers to prayer.

Sharing our stories keeps answers to prayer that we’ve experienced fresh in our minds. They’re great reminders to keep fresh for when life challenges us again. When we read Exodus, it can feel a bit like the Hebrews forgot answers they had received. God performed several miracles to break them free from slavery. Then, as they fled, He split the Red Sea so that they could walk through on dry ground. Safely on the other side, the complained and even said they’d have been better staying slaves. We need to resist the temptation to forget the answers to prayer we’ve had so that we do not get stuck when new challenges roll into our lives.

It shares hope with others.

Have you ever been inspired by someone’s before and after picture? Seeing someone’s transformation inspires. Sharing our stories does the same. Our words paint a picture with the images of the struggles and challenges we’ve faced and the hurdles we’ve needed to overcome. By sharing, we’re allowing others to “see” our before and after pictures to share hope and inspiration to others for their journey. You may be surprised by how many times you hear “me too” as others respond letting you know that they’ve shared similar struggles. Your story can bring just the hope they need to press on.

It’s your turn.

When we share our stories it may be to an audience of one over a cup of coffee or, it may be to an entire auditorium or arena. It could be structured and formal or completely casual. Additionally, we might share through our written word in a blog or book. How and what you share is individual.

If you want to learn how to write or speak about your story, there are many great conferences each year. A few that I’m looking forward to include:

http://speakupconference.com/ (June 28-39 – There’s still time to register!)
http://www.maranathachristianwriters.com/ (Sept 27-29)

I hope you’re encouraged to share your story! Have you ever shared your story? If you have, was it easier than you thought? And, if you haven’t, does this post make your reconsider? I’d love to hear from you!

Enjoy this post as a video on my youtube channel.

The post 3 Important Reasons You Should Share Your Story appeared first on Susan Call.

5 Ways to Make the Most of Today

A “today” to remember.

It’s often in life’s simplest moments that time can stand still. Moments that arrive without a fanfare yet they take our breath away. This week I was reminded of one such priceless moment I shared with my dad. It was a day that I knew was different by the time we finished breakfast.

Although he’d been weak the few days prior, this day he couldn’t find the strength to make the short distance from his bedroom to the kitchen on his own. My mom helped him into a wheelchair so that he could join me. But when my story-telling dad joined me at the table, he sat uncharacteristically silent. Too weak to sit up straight, he barely ate a bite.

After I cleared away breakfast, I wheeled dad into the living room.  There I attempted to fill the silence with my own gift of gab while my heart ached, not able to ignore the significant change. But soon, I too became quiet, unsure what I could do to help. I’ve long appreciated how music can lift your spirit so I decided to play big band on my phone. After all, it was my dad’s favorite genre.  For as long as I could remember, he and my mom cut the rug any chance they got. Together they were simply magical on the dance floor.

Soon a familiar song came on. One that I can recognize in an instant – Glen Miller’s In the Mood. It was by far my parent’s favorite songs to dance to. I reached over and grabbed dad’s hand and began swaying it to the music. Suddenly he tightened his grip on my hand. My heart lept. I slid out of my chair and took his other hand. I began swaying our hands together while I crouched in front of him attempting to be the same height.

“We’re dancing.” I said.

Although he didn’t reply, his grip let me know that we were sharing the moment together. When the song ended, my heart smiled. “We danced Dad” I said. Without any hesitation he lifted his head slightly and said in his sweet voice “yes we did!”

It was my last father – daughter dance. We lost dad just a few days later. The priceless moment swaying hands together with dad to Glenn Miller will remain one of the greatest treasures that I could ever possess.

This week marked three years since that special dance. Honoring my dad, I wanted to share several life reminders that are good for all of us to keep close at heart:

How to make the most of today:
Be present.

Some days won’t turn out the way you wish they would. You or the people you care about will have challenges. Don’t spend your time wishing you were someplace else or that things were different then they are. Instead find ways to be present right where you are. When my dad was silent, I didn’t pick up my phone and escape to social media. Instead I used my phone to entertain us together. Make a conscious choice to really be with the people you’re with.

Dance right where you are.

Make opportunities to connect and find happiness in the moments you have. Meet the people you care about where they are. Lay on the floor to laugh with an infant. Jump in a mud puddle with a toddler. Take a good friend out for coffee and linger over conversation. Dance however it is possible by making the most of your time with the people you care about most.

Keep your treasures close in your heart.

Life is a woven fabric of the sweet and happy with the difficult, the memorable, and the wish-you-could forget moments. Don’t get lost in the challenges of everyday life and without keeping the special moments tucked close to your heart. Truly priceless moments come few and far between. Cherish what they bring to life’s journey. Allow them to be sunshine on your rainy day and tide you over until you see your next rainbow.

Encourage others to embrace today.

You don’t have to look far to find a friend or family member who has been swept in to the hectic pace of the world around us. Invite them to slow down with you for a few moments and find enjoyment on the journey. It is great to be driven and pursue goals but be sure you and those around you take time to smell the roses along the way.

Cherish the people you love.

It’s not enough to care about the people in your life. You need to tell them! Tell the people that you appreciate that they matter. Tell them in person, write a note, call them, or share this post and tag them. Don’t let today go by without reminding them that they’re special. None of us are promised tomorrow. Be sure they know how much they matter.

In the bittersweet last few days I had with my dad, we had a long conversation about his legacy. He left behind a family that loved him greatly and a community that appreciated him sincerely. He had a big heart and was always quick smile, laugh, and help whomever needed help. I sat on the floor next to his bed and promised him that many of the stories he shared with me or that we experienced together would live on. Today’s post is me keeping that promise while I smile and look up to heaven and say “we danced Dad” knowing somewhere on the other side he’s saying “yes, we did.”

If this post brought a smile to your heart, why not consider clicking to share on social media. Be sure to tag someone who matters to you to remind them that they’re valuable. And, if you enjoy my encouraging posts, please click to sign up so that you don’t miss one. Have a great day and go dance!

The post 5 Ways to Make the Most of Today appeared first on Susan Call.

Trapped and Alone. What Would You Do?

Trapped and Alone

In an instant everything changed. Although he’d done this dozens of times before, this time something was different.  The unexpected happened. Alone in the mountains with just his small team of horses, my grandfather had no forewarning that he’d suddenly be plunged into a life threatening situation. While securing a load of large logs, the logs rumbled, shifted, and rolled down over my grandfather trapping him. Too heavy for him to move alone, his only chance was his faithful team of horses.

With the logs precariously pinning him with one end and clinging to the edge of the wagon with the other, there were only two possible outcomes that day. My grandfather’s team would rescue him, or he would die alone on the mountain. He made a critical decision as he began to yell out commands to his horses. He shouted when to go, when to stop, and when to turn. The team knew the sound of his voice and understood his direction. With each calculated move, the logs shifted. Then, with one final command, the gap was enough for him to slide out from under the pressing load. He was safe!

The Weight of a Load

Although it’s been decades since that day, the message in my grandfather’s harrowing moment is just as critical today. Although we’re not loggers, the wisdom captured in his crisis is remarkably relevant for us today. Threatened by a load that no one else saw, no one knew about, he almost lost his life. If anyone of us had stumbled upon the scene, we would have done anything to rescue him. We’d harness our adrenaline, call for help, and would not stop encouraging him until he was freed.

My grandfather’s story came to mind after a simple social media post, caught my attention. The meme online poked fun at a man with a scrawny stature. It joked that he wasn’t a man but someone’s little sister. My heart sank as it reminded me of the dark side of social media. The post hit a nerve because every day we each encounter individuals who are struggling. They may feel alone with crushing burdens weighing them down. Do we see it? Do we recognize the desperation or danger and help? Or do we ignore it, or turn their struggle into a meme and laugh at their expense?

Lessons from the mountainside and the meme:
Everyone is carrying a load.

Everyone we encounter, both in person or online, are carrying a burden. Their load may be light, or their load may be overwhelming. What we do, say, or post can lighten their load or make it worse. Unlike the logs that weighed my grandfather down, their situations won’t be as obvious. Depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts are far more common than you may know. Your words of encouragement and support can be a lifeline. Conversely, callous words have the potential to wreak havoc for someone already overwhelmed. Choose your words, actions, and posts carefully.

Know your team.

My Grandfather with his team of horses.

My grandfather was saved because he knew his team. They recognized his voice. When you have a day that finds you struggling under the weight of your burdens who’s on your team? Who are your trusted few that you can call when hope seems to evade you? It’s easiest to build your team before your load shifts.

Invest in time maintaining strong connections with a few friends. Build those relationships so that when life is heavy, you know who you can reach out to. If you have “a team” let them know that you appreciate them. Let them know you’re there for them so that if or when life is heavy for them, they aren’t crushed by the weight of facing it alone.

See your actions with a broader perspective.

Comments, actions, and jokes can have an unintended impact. The meme I mentioned above unkindly targeted a scrawny male. It reinforced that judging a person by their appearance is ok. The post also belittled women. To assume that a little sister would be scrawny or weak implies that women are less than. Additionally someone seeing the post with a physical handicap may also feel a jab of judgement. When looking to share a laugh take a step back. Are you attempting humor at the expense of someone else? If so, it’s not worth it. Why lean on the load of someone else? Choose to not be the reason someone’s load becomes unbearable.

Speak Up.

We have a responsibility to speak up when we see something that is hurtful. Just like you would have called for help and assisted my grandfather, if you see someone being unkind or hurtful, speak up. Silence perpetuates the problem. Advocate for others. It’s the compassionate thing to do! I did just that with the individual who posted the meme. She later removed the post.

Depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts don’t come in as obviously packages as large logs rolling off of a wagon. The people we encounter may not be alone on the side of a physical mountain, but they may be on an emotional one. Would you do your part to lighten their load?

If the image of my grandfather trapped by the life-threatening load hits a bit close to home, won’t you consider reaching out to someone today? Let a friend or family member know what you are going through. Don’t wait another day. You do not need to lift your load alone, and you don’t need to remain trapped. You may also want to check out the resources listed below.

Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Depression Hotline
Domestic Abuse Hotline
What to do When You Think Your Friend is Being Abused

Did hearing my grandfather’s story give you a new perspective on your words, actions, and posts? I’d love to hear from you. And, if you found this post helpful, please consider sharing. I think social media would benefit if more people considered the impact of their words. What will you do?

The post Trapped and Alone. What Would You Do? appeared first on Susan Call.

Trapped and Alone. What Will You Do?

Trapped and Alone

In an instant everything changed. Although he’d done this dozens of times before, this time something was different.  The unexpected happened. Alone in the mountains with just his small team of horses, my grandfather had no forewarning that he’d suddenly be plunged into a life threatening situation. While securing a load of large logs, the logs rumbled, shifted, and rolled down over my grandfather trapping him. Too heavy for him to move alone, his only chance was his faithful team of horses.

With the logs precariously pinning him with one end and clinging to the edge of the wagon with the other, there were only two possible outcomes that day. My grandfather’s team would rescue him, or he would die alone on the mountain. He made a critical decision as he began to yell out commands to his horses. He shouted when to go, when to stop, and when to turn. The team knew the sound of his voice and understood his direction. With each calculated move, the logs shifted. Then, with one final command, the gap was enough for him to slide out from under the pressing load. He was safe!

The Weight of a Load

Although it’s been decades since that day, the message in my grandfather’s harrowing moment is just as critical today. Although we’re not loggers, the wisdom captured in his crisis is remarkably relevant for us today. Threatened by a load that no one else saw, no one knew about, he almost lost his life. If anyone of us had stumbled upon the scene, we would have done anything to rescue him. We’d harness our adrenaline, call for help, and would not stop encouraging him until he was freed.

My grandfather’s story came to mind after a simple social media post, caught my attention. The meme online poked fun at a man with a scrawny stature. It joked that he wasn’t a man but someone’s little sister. My heart sank as it reminded me of the dark side of social media. The post hit a nerve because every day we each encounter individuals who are struggling. They may feel alone with crushing burdens weighing them down. Do we see it? Do we recognize the desperation or danger and help? Or do we ignore it, or turn their struggle into a meme and laugh at their expense?

Lessons from the mountainside and the meme:
Everyone is carrying a load.

Everyone we encounter, both in person or online, are carrying a burden. Their load may be light, or their load may be overwhelming. What we do, say, or post can lighten their load or make it worse. Unlike the logs that weighed my grandfather down, their situations won’t be as obvious. Depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts are far more common than you may know. Your words of encouragement and support can be a lifeline. Conversely, callous words have the potential to wreak havoc for someone already overwhelmed. Choose your words, actions, and posts carefully.

Know your team.

My grandfather was saved because he knew his team. They recognized his voice. When you have a day that finds you struggling under the weight of your burdens who’s on your team? Who are your trusted few that you can call when hope seems to evade you? It’s easiest to build your team before your load shifts.

Invest in time maintaining strong connections with a few friends. Build those relationships so that when life is heavy, you know who you can reach out to. If you have “a team” let them know that you appreciate them. Let them know you’re there for them so that if or when life is heavy for them, they aren’t crushed by the weight of facing it alone.

See your actions with a broader perspective.

Comments, actions, and jokes can have an unintended impact. The meme I mentioned above unkindly targeted a scrawny male. But, the post also belittled women. To assume that a little sister would be scrawny or weak implies that women are less than. Additionally someone seeing the post with a physical handicap may also feel a jab of judgement. When looking to share a laugh take a step back. Are you attempting humor at the expense of someone else? If so, it’s not worth it. Why lean on the load of someone else? Choose to not be the reason someone’s load becomes unbearable.

Speak Up.

We have a responsibility to speak up when we see something that is hurtful. Just like you would have called for help and assisted my grandfather, if you see someone being unkind or hurtful, speak up. Silence perpetuates the problem. Advocate for others. It’s the compassionate thing to do! I did just that with the individual who posted the meme. She later removed the post.

My Grandfather with his team of horses.

Depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts don’t come in as obviously packages as large logs rolling off of a wagon. The people we encounter may not be alone on the side of a physical mountain, but they may be on an emotional one. Would you do your part to lighten their load?

If the image of my grandfather trapped by the life-threatening load hits a bit close to home, won’t you consider reaching out to someone today? Let a friend or family member know what you are going through. Don’t wait another day. You do not need to lift your load alone, and you don’t need to remain trapped. You may also want to check out the resources listed below.

Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Depression Hotline
Domestic Abuse Hotline
What to do When You Think Your Friend is Being Abused

Did hearing my grandfather’s story give you a new perspective on your words, actions, and posts? I’d love to hear from you. And, if you found this post helpful, please consider sharing. I think social media would benefit if more people considered the impact of their words. What will you do?

The post Trapped and Alone. What Will You Do? appeared first on Susan Call.

Stuck? In a Rut? Try These 6 Practical Tips

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to go from making steady progress on goals and priorities to being completely derailed? Dieter’s call it a plateau. In life we might call it a rut. We didn’t set out to stall or get stuck, yet here we are.

Life happens.

Things shift.

There we sit, stuck, struggling. I’ve found when I’m stuck it’s usually because I’m dealing with a lack of one of  three things.

Three things we lack when we’re stuck:

Direction – not sure what’s next
Traction – no longer making steady progress
Motivation – weary from the journey and our get-up-and-go is gone.

So what can you do to get back on track? These six tips can help you get back on your path of progress:

1. Reassess your priorities.

Is this still a priority? Consider why you set out to accomplish it. If it’s still important, remind yourself of that “why.” Then use the “why” to fuel your motivation.

2. Consult with a trusted friend.

Ask a trusted friend, a mentor, or someone with experience, or consider listening to a program, a seminar, or TED talk on the area you’re stuck. Get insight from someone who has helpful knowledge or someone who can help you see your blind spots. When you’re stuck, you’re not doomed to wander in quicksand alone, reach out to the resources around you.

3. Take a step back.

Timeouts can be good but, be careful to define an end to your “break.” Lingering breaks can become pitfalls. Allow yourself downtime but don’t camp out there.

4. Review your options.

Imagine the possibilities. Brainstorm a list of options for your next step(s). Write them all down including the practical, the realistic, the wacky and crazy. What comes to mind that you could do next? Sometimes letting the creativity flow will help you find the next step that works for you.

5. Pray about it.

Ask God. When we’re stuck, we can forget the obvious – pray. Ask God for direction, motivation, and clarity.

6. Decide and do.

What’s the one next step? Now decide what’s your one next step and the timing of when you will do it. Make a plan and take the next step. You don’t need to know the next ten steps to make the next one. Take the one step. That motion forward will enable you to continue. You don’t need to remain stuck!

What do you do when you get stuck? How do you get back on track? I’d love to hear from you.

And, if you enjoyed this post, be sure to share it.

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The Unexpected Thing I Found In My Garden

Are you ever caught off guard when life meets you in the ordinary with nuggets of wisdom that you weren’t expecting? That’s exactly what happened to me yesterday when I spent several hours with my children planting our family’s garden. I welcomed the time together and fully expected a day of pulling weeds, digging in the dirt, and getting our garden set for the start of the season. But, I didn’t expect to dig up wisdom in the process. There between the rototilling and planting, between the zucchini and marigolds, I was struck by how much life is like gardening.

5 Life Lessons I that I Found in My Garden:
1. You can’t harvest what you don’t plant.

For the past few days I’ve been thinking about what I want to grow in our garden this season. The time to decide what I want to harvest later in the summer is now. If we don’t plant zucchinis, it doesn’t matter how well I tend to our garden, zucchinis won’t grow.

The same is true in life. If we’re discontented with a situation but don’t plant the seeds of change, we won’t reap the change we wish would happen. If for example we’re miserable at work, we have a few choices – change jobs, change our attitude, or influence the situation as much as it is up to us. But, if we do nothing, we can’t expect anything to change. You can’t harvest what you don’t plant.

2. Water daily.

For a garden to grow, the plants need to be watered daily. Some days, rain takes care of the task on our behalf. Other days require our effort.

In life we need to show up each day and take the next step. It’s not enough to set out towards our goals, we need to continue to press on. Life doesn’t work on autopilot. Show up daily. Nurture your dreams and goals bit by bit, day by day.

3. Weed often.

Weeds threaten and choke out plants in a garden. They start small and spread. The longer they’re allowed in the garden, the deeper their roots, the greater their risk. For a garden to be healthy, we need to pull the weeds that pop up.

Life is no different. The weeds that creep into our lives start small – a distraction, a missed opportunity, or a flat out bad decision.  But if we ignore them, the roots grow deeper and they multiply eventually choking the potential we set out to grow.

4. Protect what you plant.

When we planted our garden, we took care to plant flowers and herbs that deter the deer and bunnies that might think we planted our garden just for them. Additionally, living in the north it is not uncommon to need to cover the garden at night in the early spring to protect the plants from the potential of frost through the chilly nights. For a garden to have a chance to bloom, it needs to be protected.

Our lives require “protection” in order to allow us to bloom to our potential as well. We need to establish healthy boundaries to protect ourselves emotionally or physically from people who have less than our best interests at heart. Equally as important, we need to protect our time. If we aren’t careful, our time will be consumed by distractions that rob us of the opportunity for our full harvest.

5. Be willing to wait.

It’s exciting to plant a new garden. Tending to the soil and placing the new plants comes with a bit of excitement and expectation. But planting day is most definitely not harvest day. Some plants take weeks, others longer before they’ll produce. Planting day marks the first day of waiting.

While we understand that in a garden, often in life we’re easily discouraged by the same scenario. We make a change and want results now. We make good food choices for a week and think we’re failing if the scale doesn’t immediately celebrate our change. The harvest takes time. Stay the course. Don’t give up. Don’t quit! You’ll get there. You’re just in the season of wait.

Closing thoughts:

Lately I’ve been in the planting and weeding stages of life. I’ve been working to establish some new habits that I would like to grow. Doing so has required pulling out some old habits down to the roots. The changes have helped me lose weight and establish a new exercise routine as well as increased writing time. We don’t get to our goals by accident. We don’t just “drift” in the right direction. It takes planning, preparation and commitment to stay the course and pull the weeds. But, it also comes with the excitement of celebrating a harvest when our hard work bears fruit!

Have you planted a garden this year? What is your favorite part? Or, do you have some gardening you’re working on in life? Why not click to join the conversation and let me know which of these you’re working on. Be sure to click below to sign up to receive these doses of encouragement. Have a great week!

 

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6 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was a New Graduate

It’s the time of year for Pomp and Circumstance. The rite of passage has proud parents across the country straining to find their child in a sea of caps and gowns. Working on a college campus, it’s one of the most exciting times of the year. Feeling the anticipation and excitement of the soon-to-be graduates always causes me to become a bit reflective. If I could time travel back to my own commencement, what would I say to the younger me?

1.Do your best no matter what your job.

Your current job is likely not your dream job but, it might be a critical step on the path to that dream job of yours. Do your best, be respectful, and dependable, always. Treat every job as though your dream job depends upon it. People notice, doors open and, future opportunities come out of today’s efforts. Take for example Xerox’s CEO Ursula Burns, she started out as an intern. Her dedication and hard work paved her path taking her from intern to CEO.

2.Don’t live life on a predetermined timeline.

You don’t need to be married by 30 and have children by 35 or any other age. You may have friends that get married or have kids long before you. It’s ok! It is far better to wait for the right relationship than to get married, or choose other life steps because you think it’s “time.” Don’t live the life you think you are “supposed to live” rather truly live your life.Never stop learning.

3.Learning doesn’t stop once you’ve gotten your diploma. 

To get the most out of life, continue to learn and grow at all ages. Take advantage of professional development opportunities at your work. Explore new hobbies outside of work. And, don’t be afraid to try new things.

4.The best lessons and the best opportunities are often hidden in “failures.”

Disappointments will be part of your journey. You can allow them to break you or you can allow them to propel you. The choice is yours. When something doesn’t turn out the way you wish it had, step back and see how you can learn from it or how it might launch you on a better path. I was once laid off from a job I loved after 17 years. Instead of allowing it to devastate me, I went back to college, got my master’s degree, published a book, and changed careers. My lost job opened a new door with fabulous opportunities I’d never trade!

5.Seek feedback from trusted or respected sources.

Proactively ask “What can I do to improve?” or “How could I do this differently to get an even better result?” Opening communications for feedback will help you become a better version of you. You will encounter people who know more than you. Tap their knowledge so that you can grow. The future you will be glad you did. 

6.Find something to be grateful about every single day.

Even on your worst day, you have something to be grateful for. Before your head hits the pillow at night, recall three things you are thankful for that day. In research studies, psychologist have found participants who find three things to be thankful for each day have an immediate increase in happiness measures. Don’t you want to be happier? Take time to be thankful. It works!

I can’t time travel back to encourage younger me but, I can continue to share the lessons I’ve learned over the years. I’m happy to say that I’ve become a lifelong learner and I do work to be grateful even on the days when it feels hardest to do. I refuse to let a bad five minutes ruin an entire day, and to interpret a bad day to mean the week, year, or my life is awful – because it’s not! Enjoy life. Live it! Celebrate your milestones and victories. And, if you’ve just graduated, Congratulations!!

Or, if you like me have a few years between you and your commencement, what wisdom would you share with younger you? I’d love to hear from you.

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A few other posts you might enjoy:

5 Empowering Life Tips from a Game of Connect Four
3 Things That Kill Potential
5 Ways to Minimize Your Impact and Pass on Your Purpose

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