@hg47's Blog: The Tweet & The TakeAway, page 4

jailbroken Google Glass at the Christmas 2014 office party

Of course, now with Siri and Google Glass and 3D printers, science fiction seems more like CliffsNotes for the Here and Now!

So I'm wearing jailbroken Google Glass at the Christmas 2014 office party and I spot a hot chick.

GOOGLE-GLASS to Harvey: “Her name is Joan, but she likes to be called Joanie. She has posted 476 cat pics to Facebook, so a good opening line would involve cats. Joanie is divorced, but her husband Ralph has custody of the kid (Juan, 6) and has put out a restraining order against Joanie. While you are chatting Joanie up, here is a slide show of nudie pics of Joanie culled from the Internet. If you are serious about any kind of relationship with Joanie, blink twice to cue up JOANIE DOES JOHANNESBURG and display her medical records hacked from her insurance company.”

                
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You think I'm joking? NASA is now funding 3D Printed Pizza. Some physicists think they may have found a loophole to allow faster-than-light travel through space.

What you thought was absurdly ridiculous yesterday, you will think is boringly obvious tomorrow.

@hg47

Me and Ernest Hemingway

Ernest Hemingway gave me a blurb for my time travel novel DAUGHTER MOON!

Hemingway said, “As long as you’re here, pass the shotgun.”

So I've been time traveling for several months now, collecting blurbs from dead writers for my sci-fi time travel novel DAUGHTER MOON. But Hemingway's shotgun blurb is going right on my back cover!

It is absolutely not true that I am responsible for Hemingway's suicide. All I did was hand him the shotgun (and then leave quickly). OK, yeah, I did load it for him. What? You're charging me now? Assisted suicide? You've gotta be kidding me! OK, maybe I did mention that Hemingway's eBooks weren't selling worth a damn in 2013, so what? And it's important to the time-space continuum that I not alter the past! We know Hemingway shot himself! What? I was supposed to CHANGE the past??

OK, yeah, I did bring the shotgun shells with me…

Remind Me To Get Pushy

Ｓｏｍｅｔｉｍｅｓ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｒｅｊｅｃｔｅｄ ｗｈｅｎ Ｔｗｅｅｐｓ ｄｏｎ’ｔ ｒｅａｄ ｍｙ ｍｉｎｄ ａｎｄ ｐｒｏｖｉｄｅ ｗｈａｔ Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｕｎａｓｋｅｄ.

My family moved around a lot while I was growing up. I average a different school for each year during the first 12 years of my schooling. I went to 6 different high schools. Why bother to make friends when the entire cast of characters will change in a few months? So I have no "smooth social moves."
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ᅠᅠᅠ⥨ᅠᅠQuantity Of Networking Kicks Ass
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ᅠᅠᅠ⥨ᅠᅠQuality Of Product Lies Bruised & Bleeding.
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On the Internet, it isn't the Job You Do, it is who is posting about the Job You Do. And I have no clue how to deal with this harsh truth or how to take advantage of it since I always thought that the quality of the job you do must always come first.

Whenever I try to get pushy, I seem to find myself in a Flame War. I'm doing everything wrong. I'm not subtle enough. I'm offending the "right people." So be it. @hg47

Ｙｏｕｒ Ｗｒｉｔｉｎｇ Ｎｅｅｄｓ Ｓｏｍｅ Ｓｈａｒｐ Ｅｄｇｅｓ

I’m not here to be user friendly.

If you are idiot-proof you are also probably reader-proof; meaning, no one will want to read your work.

"Easy to read" isn't necessarily a problem, but your writing needs some sharp edges.

Let's not forget that no matter how cute the kitty pic and the caption, that cats have claws and teeth!

Surprise them with your prose; make a few enemies with what you write about.

@hg47

⡮⡆⢎⡁⢎⡁⣟⡁⣇⡀⣟⡁⡯⡂⡮⡆⢹⠁⡇⢎⠆⡏⡆

Didn’t you get the CHANGE Memo? It’s not where you were, it’s Where You Are Going. It’s not who you were, it’s Who You Will Be.

Things are changing so fast that the Mountain you are standing on top of as King NOW may not be worth a used-condom a year from now.

The sands are shifting.

How fast you are moving, your velocity of change becomes more important than your position now.

No, sorry, it's even worse than this. Your acceleration today, your increasing under-the-radar "skateboard" speed of change in preferred directions, can over-power the current Kings on the Mountains, and make the franchise-fools into your own tools.

@hg47

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I've read 3-5 Picasso bios and 3-5 Lover's-Of-Picasso books-about-him and their relationships and some other books about Big-P.

His daughter Paloma once wrote that early on she began to get a sense that her father was not like other men. One day when she was playing she stopped to watch a man who had come to visit her father leave. He was backing away, bowing every few steps, backing away, never turning his back on her father, until the man had backed out the front door. [I am probably mis-remembering this slightly. Go read Paloma's works for the exact quote.]

What would Picasso tweet?

You tell me!

@hg47

Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ Ｒｏａｄ Ｌｅｓｓ Ｔｒａｖｅｌｅｄ？

It’s OK if nobody listens. In fact, it’s better if nobody listens. That is CONFIRMATION that you are on The Road Less Traveled.

I've already given up on Fame and Success while I am alive. It's "Plan B, Baby!"

If my written works don't kick ass and take names after I'm dead, they never will.

I can testify that my own personal road less traveled is lonely. I can perceive no light at any possible end to this tunnel.

@hg47

Jane Austen Giggles Like A Little Girl And Writes On Strips Of Paper 2" Wide

Jane Austen gave me a blurb for my time travel novel DAUGHTER MOON! Jane said…“Harv, you are a time traveler…you must be in need of a wife.”

So I time traveled back in time on the hope that my literary heroine Jane Austen would give me a blurb for my time travel novel DAUGHTER MOON. But all Jane could think about was fixing me up with a friend of hers: “Harv, you are a time traveler…you must be in need of a wife.”

I tried to tell Jane that her novel PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, with its perky narrative and excessive dialogue and crisp immediate presentation had created the format for the modern novel which we still used in 2013 (and still in use in 2147 according to my other time travels; although the novels are not actually read in 2147 but implanted as firmware updates). I pleaded with her to use the same dialogue overdrive with playful narration for all her other novels, but Jane just blushed and said that her good friend Courtney was from a respectable family, and that Courty had specifically mentioned that time travelers make the best lovers.

Sadly, I am not married to Courtney. Of even greater sadness, Jane Austen failed to heed my advice for her subsequent novels.

Paragraph deleted by the Time Continuum Police.

@hg47

irony

AVOIDᅠANNOYINGᅠPROLOGUES (with annoying prologue).

A year ago I would have killed for a 16-line high tweet that looked good. That's not true. But I might have slapped someone.

I love this tweet because it is nearly all prologue, with finally a three word exhortation to avoid exactly what has just been demonstrated. As a bonus, it is mostly space, which agrees with my minimalist temperament.

On average, a couple of times a year, Twitter does a major re-write of their source code. Most users don't even notice the change. But as a nutjob hard-core vertical-alignment freak and exposed #TwitterArt (ist) who is always trying to push the limits of Twitter, I am sensitive to these changes.

A few months ago, Twitter shut down my favorite #140art trick. My hard-space no longer works. Twitter requires, correction, required a character to start a new line, but Twitter thought a hard-space (Alt-0160) was a character, and although I had to enter each hard-space manually within the composition window for it to work, it allowed me to "make chess moves off the board that were still technically valid."

A month later, Twitter, enabled the ENTER key for its Internet feed. Since I joined Twitter, back in November of 2008, an ENTER was rendered as a soft-space. Favstar renders the ENTER key correctly; is Twitter now taking cues from favstar?

The ENTER key Twitter change is so major I still don't know what to make of it. My first impression is: "Chill, Harv, this is just Twitter, where you blow off steam; your tweets don't mean anything, they have never meant anything, they never will mean anything; it's 140 characters for Goddess sake! And after the first EMP bursts of WWIII all that Internet info will be lost forever: Nanobots to nanoscrap in nanoseconds!"

Then I start fixing up my obsolete #TwitterArt that hasn't worked for years, but can now be modified to work, and I start thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can take some of my old 3-tweet sequential #140art pieces and cram them down into single tweets!!

Of course, by the time I get them ready to spew, Twitter will probably upgrade their code again, wrecking all my planned tweets.

@hg47 (1/3rd filled glass Harvey)

I Stole This Tweet

Most of the media might as well say ‘Congratulations on wasting your life perfecting a worthless skill.

The original tweet, by @lovemydogduck was: Most of the medals might as well say ‘Congratulations on wasting your life perfecting a worthless skill.

Hey, I did inform her that I was going to change one word. I left the quote open-ended, because Eve did in her tweet.

The whole social media, Internet, blogger, Facebook, G+, Pinterest, Twitter, eBook, GoodReads thing eludes my understanding. I get that we all want to share. Maybe that is enough. Maybe that is all the reward there ever need be. In that sense, posting and commenting and blogging is a slight improvement upon passively watching TV.

The cynic in me does not regard "page views" as "page reads," sees "comments" less as "feedback" and more as "networking." The loner in me sees a few messages that go viral when helped along initially by in-bred networked power players who gang-up to spew in military formation. The gambler in me sees the vast majority of messages posted languishing virtually unread unheard unacknowledged while we all continue to post and blog and comment and then keep checking our stats hoping for a big Lottery Win.

@hg47